Chapter Start

"So let me get this straight, you were fighting Elsa The Bowel Hunter and this boy came out of the blue and saved you,"asks the bewildered Sword Saint.

"mhmm, we told Felt to run while we distracted Elsa, but 5 minutes later she came running back with this guy saying he could help us stop her," replied the beautiful half-elf

Currently, Reinhardt and Emilia were in the Astrea Manor, the latter having woken up 15 minutes ago, as Emilia retold the events of the previous day. Felt and Subaru were lying unconscious on the beds, having still not recovered from yesterday's explosion and the following building collapse. They weren't able to find Rom, as he had run away as soon as he saw the Astrea.

"Ok so then, he started doing weird poses and speaking gibberish, and right when you guys were about to die this little girl shows up, transforms into a weird object, then proceeds to blow the entire place up. Am I correct?" Asks Reinhardt, pointing at the grenade loli sitting in a criss-cross position on Subaru's chest.

Emilia just gives a sheepish look and nods back.

"I'm sorry, but I hope you understand why i can't believe you. Even if my divine protection says it's the truth." He replies back, mumbling the last part.

"Well even if you don't believe me, you can see why I have to take him with me"

"I can, but he could be a danger to national security."

"Yeah, so let him come to a manor with the best magician in the nation and not 1 but 2 great spirits."

"I get that, but….."

As the 2 continued to argue a certain grenade loli started getting irritated.

"Who the hell said master will be going with any of you!" Shouted out a cute voice interrupting their argument.

"He is my master, hmph. I decide what to do with him."

Both of them could only stare at the adorable girl as she started pouting.

"Sorry about that young lady, we were inconsiderate towards you and your master. I hope you can forgive us for our transgressions," Reinhardt said while bowing.

Grenade loli slowly stopped pouting and sighed," fine I'll let it go, but just this once and only if you let me choose where me and my master stay."

Both the Sword Saint and the witch were hesitant to agree, but eventually both caved and let the loli choose. As she got into a cute thinking pose, Felt began to wake up unnoticed. Once she saw the Sword Saint she was about the run, but Emilia stopped her before she got very far.

"Oh no you don't, at least not until I get my insignia."

Having noticed the commotion the Sword Saint began to stare at Felt expectantly as well. As she started sweating bullets, she reached into her pock-

"I got it!

-and got cut off by the brown haired girl

" Since I'm certain master isn't gay, he definitely Isn't going with the red one," Reinhardt looked offended,"but the silver-haired tramp isn't any better," Emilia began sputtering and a certain cat narrowed his eyes in his crystal," so I'm going to let the yellow one choose," she happily finished clapping her hands as she did so.

Now Felt began sweating even more, one wrong move and either you have the Sword Saint after you, or a silver-haired half devil. Right when she thought she was going to faint Emilia interrupted her.

"Before that can I get my insignia?"

Felt began to nod furiously, not trusting her voice, and pulled out the insignia. As she was about to give it to Emilia, Reinhardt noticed something and Instantly took Felt's hand, throwing the insignia towards Emilia.

" You know what? You can keep the weird kid I'm taking this girl," Reinhardt hurriedly said, as he dragged the poor blonde to god knows where. The half-elf and grenade loli just stare at the direction he went, then look at each other and shrug.

" I guess it's decided, we're going with you," said the girl just as Ram got escorted in.

-Line Break-

As Subaru begins to stir, the first thing he sees is a white ceiling. The next being a gaping hole in the wall that looked like it was made by an explosive. The third thing he sees is a brown-haired loli pointing both her arms, which were fucking cannons, at 2 terrified maids.

Natsuki Subaru could only rub his temples to try and soothe his upcoming headache.

"Megu stop that."

All 3 of them turned to look at the newly awoken boy. Just as he was about to get up-

"OOF-"

-He got the air knocked out of him by a brown and black blur

"Megu, can you please get off of me, I can't breathe," Subaru wheezed out from the brown-haired loli's bone crushing hug.

"Oh, sorry master. I just got really excited to finally have a real conversation with you," replied the cheerful girl as she lets him get up and sits in his lap.

"It's fine, but can you tell me what's going on? I'm not sure how I feel about waking up to you almost killing those cute maids over there," Subaru said, causing the maids to narrow their eyes at him. They would have said something but they'd prefer to stay in 1 piece, thank you very much.

"Ok master. You see, you, and everyone besides me, passed out after we blew up the building and Elsa, though she got away somehow," Subaru visibly flinched at that,"then some red-haired guy came and dragged you and the rest of us to this huge mansion and treated every one. Afterwards the silver-haired half elf from the loot house brought us to an even bigger mansion. Then these 2," pointing at the maids," tried to disturb your nap, so I just kindly suggested that they should stop."

Subaru deadpanned and said," so blowing up an entire wall is you 'suggesting'."

Megu sheepishly rubbed the back of her neck, looking everywhere besides at her master.

Just as she was about to reply, a beautiful silver-haired half elf came into the room.

"Oh, Subaru! You're finally up, how do you feel?"

No one besides the explosive-loli noticed how Ram sighed in relief at the sight of Emilia.

"I feel great actually, thanks for asking. Though I would feel even better if I could know such a beautiful angel's name,"

The silver-haired girl turned beet red and sputtered out," d-d-don't joke like that! I'm not beautiful, I'm a disgusting half-elf you wouldn't want to know my name,"the girl looked down sadly as she finished talking.

"Ok first of all, if either of us is disgusting it's me. Second of all, I don't care what you think about yourself. I want to know your name, and become your friend," Subaru smiled back.

The half-elf still didn't believe him but decided to answer anyways," my name is Emilia, just Emilia no surname."

If it was possible Subaru's smile grew larger," such a beautiful name for such a beautiful girl," Emilia began blushing again,"though I would like to know how you know my name, since I can't recall telling any of you."

Just as Emilia was about to reply Megu interrupted," that would be because of me master. I told them since they kept on bugging me." Megu then proceeds to glare a hole through Emilia's head, as she remembers how Emilia poked her cheek non-stop for 3 hours asking about the strange boy's name.

"I'm not even going to ask how you know my name. Anyways, I heard that this place is a mansion, is it that correct," Emilia and the twins nod at that," so, since I feel better I'm going to go tour the place with Megu," Subaru says as drags an excited loli out the door, not even letting anyone say anything.

Little did he know this small event was going to cause his demise.

Chapter End

A/N

I know this chapter wasn't as funny as the other 2, but I hope you still enjoyed it. I'm really excited for the next chapter as it's probably my favorite so far. The chapter should come out on Tuesday or Wednesday.

Until next time, Ja Ne!