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Attainment

Nadir

He woke to the most beautiful sounds. Moving over him like waves on a beach, in steady, soothing rhythm.

A piano. An unwavering melody, serene, like the ocean at dawn.

It was calm. The calmest song he had heard from Erik in years. An easy melody that twined around him gently. The persuasive potency, the raw and natural beauty was there, but it was not the fierce, fiery stuff that Nadir was accustomed to hearing.

The darkness of it had faded.

It followed him into dreams.

Christine

She turned, smiled as her godfather walked into the kitchen. He looked somehow younger, relaxed. The warm sparkle she was accustomed to seeing was back in his dark eyes. His skin had a healthy flush, no longer the greyish tinge of yesterday.

"You look rested." She smiled, hugged him. "Coffee?"

"That would be wonderful." He hugged her back. "Why don't you sit down? I'll make something." A wicked glint danced in his eyes as she struggled to find a polite way to dissuade him.

He spared her any further trouble. "Only joking, Christine. I would be delighted to eat whatever you have on hand."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "You only want me to make breakfast." she accused, voice laced with laughter. Christine smiled wryly at his amused expression.

Nadir laughed. "Caught! Would you, Christine?"

"Of course. I like to feel I'm earning my keep." She glanced back over her shoulder at him as she moved toward the pantry. "What would you like?"

"So." she said over pancakes. Nadir looked up at her, brows raised in inquiry. "You did say you would tell me how you and Erik met."

"I did." Nadir answered. She looked at him expectantly. His lips quirked, then quieted as she pretended to drum her fingers impatiently.

"It was in college. Sometime in May, if I recall correctly. I had just left a seminar, was headed to another class. I ran into a group of boys that... were not known for their friendliness. Even to those they considered their 'equals."

"What do you mean?" she asked, bemused.

He gestured to the dark skin of his face. "Skin color drew unwanted attention back in those days a little more than it does now, Christine. Suffice to say, that particular group of boys did not like me. Or at least they did not like what I was." He smiled humorlessly. "They were quite keen on informing me of that." Christine flinched. His eyes had not changed, they still bore the same warm fondness for her, yet something dark had entered the voice. A grim undertone. "They liked to hurt people like me. That day was no exception."

"What happened?" she asked. This was a story she had never heard, growing up. A side to her godfather she had never expected.

What secrets do people keep from the ones they love?

He shrugged calmly, unruffled. "I took their blows and their words. Violence has no place in this life, Christine, even in self-defense, it is wrong to strike another." he ended simply.

"Fortunately," came an amused drawl from the doorway, "some others disagree with that philosophy." Erik leaned against the door frame. He looked exactly the same as ever, but Christine sensed a new calm about him. One more of peace than conscious control.

Nadir smiled. "Indeed." Then he looked back to her and continued. "Erik saw and- interfered. They never quite dared to mock him outright- few people did- but it wasn't from a lack of the desire to do so. Nevertheless, it was Erik who stopped them that day. And that, Christine, is how we met, and, befriended." he concluded, voice a little wistful. His eyes were distant, had a faraway look to them.

Erik helped himself to coffee. Leaning against the counter, he shrugged. "You make it sound a great deal more noble than it was, Nadir. Someone else would have come to your aid."

Nadir raised his eyebrows, suddenly more businesslike. There was a frown in his voice. "I saw several of those someones walk right by what was happening that day. Don't downplay what you did, Erik. Compassion is nothing to be ashamed of."

A noncommittal "Hmm." was all the answer he received. Nadir exhaled, changed the topic so suddenly it made her blink.

"I hear you've become acquainted with Raoul DeChagney, Christine."

"Yes, I..." It was about this time she noticed Erik leaving the room. She looked back at Nadir. "I'm sorry, Uncle Nadir, what were you saying?"

"Raoul DeChagney." he repeated, a patient smile tugging at his mouth.

Christine hesitated. "He's... very sweet. I like him very much." But beyond that... I don't know.

I just don't know.

Nadir

He watched as she searched for further words. 'I like him very much'... but you don't love him, do you, Christine? He sighed mentally, a little melancholy at the lost expression in her eyes. I thought as much.

Instead he smiled. "Raoul is a nice young man, Christine. But are you sure that you want to get involved with him after-"

She cut him off, almost as though afraid of hearing the words 'your father.' "I'm not involved, Uncle Nadir. It's just a friendship."

He nodded. "Be sure Mr. DeChagney knows that, Christine." Be very sure. Otherwise, if I know him, he'll begin to read a good deal into this that is not there. Worry bit into him as he looked at the suddenly reticent girl across from him.

I don't want either of you to end up hurt that way.

An odd half-smile crossed her face. It wasn't in any way cheerful. Her eyes were downcast. "Don't worry, Uncle Nadir. I'm not planning on throwing myself into a relationship any time soon."

He hesitated for a moment. "Christine, there's something else I wanted to talk to you about."

Her face went curiously blank as he continued. "Christine, about Charles..."

She interrupted him. "Are you done with that, Uncle Nadir?" she gestured at his plate. He sighed, attempted to continue.

"Yes, Christine, but-" She took the plate.

"Then I'll just put this in the dishwasher and go take a shower. Raoul and I are meeting for lunch later." She smiled mechanically at him as she disappeared out of the door. There was no life to it. Nadir shivered. What was she doing to herself?

He rested his head on his arms. Damn it. Nadir was not prone to cursing, but Christine's frozen avoidance of any subject relating to her father was beginning to tell on his nerves. He did not want to admit the fear it instilled in him to see her face suddenly close off, her eyes become dead and glazed whenever he brought up Charles.

Christine, why won't you talk to me? Why are you shutting me out?

"No luck, Nadir?" asked a voice from the door. Nadir lifted his head, shook it. He felt limp, suddenly older. Tired, endlessly weary. Christine... what's happening to you? "I passed Christine a moment ago. She looked-"

Nadir let out a frustrated sigh. "I'm trying, Erik, but it's like talking to a brick wall. She's shutting herself off from it- it's not healthy! I wish I knew what she was thinking- what she was feeling. I don't like being unable to help her like this, Erik." He rubbed at his temples. feeling helpless. "I'm her guardian, her godfather, for heaven's sake. I should be able to help her. She should be able to talk to me. And if she feels like she can't talk about it with me, than she is most definitely not sharing anything with Raoul-"

"What makes you say that?" Erik inquired, brows raised.

He smiled, almost cynically. "I don't think Christine's in love with him any more than that toaster is. And she certainly isn't going to share anything like this on the strength of an infant friendship that's unlikely to become anything more." Nadir stared off into spaced, unsettled. His thoughts chased each other in weary circles. Erik looked mildly concerned, frowning slightly, as unguarded as he ever got. "Which means that she's keeping this all bottled inside. Erik- I don't know what to do!"

Erik sighed. "I don't know what I can do to help you, Nadir- but I'll try."

Touched, Nadir felt his muscles slacken a bit. Thank the heavens for him. He met the intent blue eyes. To his surprise- and gratitude, there was actual concern there- actual compassion. "Thank you, Erik."

His voice said more than could be put into words.

Christine

She sighed as the hot water stung her face. At her core was a brewing storm, an uncalm that worried at her. A fluttering, creeping sensation that refused to go away. She didn't want to think about him. Not now.

Don't think about the way things might have been, Christine. Don't, for the love of God, think of that. A salty sweetness slid over her face. She blinked rapidly at her suddenly blurred vision. Her body felt suddenly heavier, darker. Something whispered in her, a faint cry that she refused to listen to. A dangerous emotion reaching out to her that she quickly buried, afraid to touch it. It frightened her. It was dark and howling and would pull her downward and inward if she did not force it back.

Raoul. She thought firmly. You're going to go to lunch with Raoul. Everything was normal. Everything was under control. She had to believe that.

She had to.

Raoul

He smiled as the door opened. "Hey, Nadir. How are you?"

The man smiled. "Very well, thank you. I hear that you have an appointment with my goddaughter?" He didn't seem upset about it.

Raoul felt his face soften. "Yeah, Christine and I are going to check out this new place downtown."

Nadir nodded amiably. "I'm glad she's found a friend." Friend? thought Raoul, before Nadir continued. "Has Christine told you why she is here?"

He shook his head, vaguely curious. "Is there something I should know?"

The man's voice softened. "Christine has recently lost someone very dear to her. Her father passed away some weeks ago." he elaborated quietly.

A ripple of shock went through him. It was followed by concern. "No, she hadn't mentioned anything about it." Worry invaded him. Christine, why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you let me help you?

Nadir seemed to sense his unrest. "I trust you Raoul. But be careful in what you say to her. Christine's going through a tough time and she could use a friend, Raoul."

Raoul hardly noticed the curious inflection on the word. Poor Christine! Was that why she was so reserved, almost distant at times? Why she didn't like to talk about herself- her family?

Christine, why didn't you say something?

Why didn't you let me help you? I'll always be here to help you, Christine. You don't even have to say a word. I'll be here for you, if you need me to.

He and Nadir turned at the sound of footsteps. It was Christine. Raoul studied her a little more closely. Her smile didn't seem forced, she seemed glad to see him. His heart lightened. Maybe he could help her. I want you to be happy, Christine.

Raoul smiled. "Ready to go, Christine?"

She returned the gesture. "Of course. See you later." She kissed her godfather on the cheek. Raoul laid a hand on her arm as she preceded him out the door. An urge to shelter the fragile, dark-eyed girl moved through him at that touch. To help her heal and shield her from any further cruelties the world might have to offer her. He gave her a look of reassurance as she glanced back at him, slid an arm around her shoulders protectively. Let me help you, Christine. It occurred to him, as she leaned against him, that this girl might need him as something more than a friend. That he wanted this beautiful, lost-seeming girl as something more than a friend.

Something much more. He played absently with a curl as they made their way down the stairs to his car. A humid rush of air greeted them outside, a flood of sunlight. She was warm against him. Christine. He looked down at her distant profile, her eyes seeming far away. He could see shadows in their darkness. Endless, weary shadows.

Christine. I'm here for you now. He squeezed her shoulders gently, she didn't seem to notice. I'll always be here when you need me.

Christine

It was hard to concentrate on the present when the past ran so strongly through her. She could sense Raoul's concerned eyes on her. Am I really being that transparent?

She put a bit more effort into seeming lively. She didn't want to worry him- really, she didn't. God knew, she only wanted to immerse herself in the brightness of the day. To pretend, for a few short hours, that her life was normal and whole. But the hours passed so swiftly, blurring together so that it was hard to hold onto the details. An almost prosaic melding of time, where the senses were blunted, the spirit and the mind settled into complacency.

There was one thing she remembered, however- something a bit odd in the way he was acting toward her. Christine couldn't quite put her finger on it. There was a new appeal behind the cheeky, roguish charm. Something different in the way he let his hand linger on her shoulder or her waist. In the way he put just a little more effort into trying to coax a laugh from her. The way his hazel eyes seemed to watch her just a little more closely.

Stop it, Christine. she told herself. You're being paranoid. Just relax, let it all go.

It wasn't as though he thought she loved him, was it? Sure, she liked him, he was a very likable person.

But love? He was more like a friend, a brother to her. Her feelings for him did not stir beyond the platonic.

She sighed. No, Christine. Stop being egocentric. Stop being paranoid. He's just worried about you. Just stop being so quiet and he'll lighten up. He's only concerned about you, Christine. Don't make this into something it's not.

It was with those thoughts in mind that she settled to the task of easing herself, calming and smiling so as not to worry him.

It seemed to work, too. Once she had relaxed about him, he seemed a great deal more cheerful, manner freer, less concerned.

She did not much remember the specifics of that outing. Only the end.

"Later, Chris." Raoul stood in the hallway with her. She smiled. "See you around."

He hesitated, than put his arms around her. He held her for an instant longer than she was comfortable, she began to push him away, only to discover that he had already pulled back and was smiling at her warmly. "Bye, Chris." His voice was warm.

She smiled in return, not sure how natural it was. But it seemed to satisfy him, as she walked inside the apartment.

Raoul

He smiled as he watched her go. It had been so good to watch her relax under his touch, to see the worry in her eyes fall away with his words.

He smiled fondly at the memories. His arm around her shoulders. Her eyes, enlivened with the conversation. Her smile, gradually growing and brightening, giving him the sensation of basking in sunlight. He recalled how he had been able to help her. It was so soothing to be able to reassure her. Soothing and elating, the sense that he could shield her and protect her, the wistful, gentle girl. That he could make her smile. Raoul recalled the feel of her body against his in that embrace. Frail, so delicate. The look in her eyes that stirred the urgency to guard her. He would guard her. He would heal her. He would help her as best he could.

I'm here for you, Christine.