From what the nurses tell me, Lisa was devastated that she couldn't see me anymore. Even if she only comes and watches me sleep, I think she was able to see a part of me that scares so many other people. When I'm awake, I have the never-ending task of opening all of the cards and letters I receive from the kids and teachers at school. Most of them are just Hallmark cards saying "hope you feel better," but I can always pick out the ones from my old friends, and the basketball players (the teddy bear holding a basketball is a slight clue). I've even gotten a couple of teddy bears and crafts from the kids who somewhat knew me. It's all sweet of them, but all I want is to be back in the regular wing of the hospital, or even better yet, home.

Dr. Welington came and saw me today while I was awake. She looks tired. I'm sure she's worried about me, because my health is steadily declining. I know that she doesn't want me to know that, but I'm able to read my medical charts. Based on my declining health, eighth grade graduation looks like a goner. I've been in this hospital for almost three months now. This is one of my longest hospital stays that I can remember. The sleeping drugs help, but it still gets lonely during the night when I pretend to be asleep.

Another two weeks later, and I'm finally back I've been unconscious for the last two weeks, and the doctors have been working around the clock to make me better. They've moved me down to the regular hospital wing, which is very strange. I don't remember them moving me. Lisa comes and sits with me almost all day. It's nearing the end of their winter vacation, and Lisa's made sure her parents knew how much I meant to her. Apparently, her family went skiing in New York, but Lisa was able to talk her parents into letting her stay at my house. It must be difficult for her to sleep in my room, just thinking about me in the hospital.

I can feel it, I'm nearing the end. Lisa is spending all day with me. She wants to stay nights, but her parents are making her go back to my house to sleep. I don't want to give up hope, but there is no way the doctors can find a cure this late in the game. I'm so tired; I just want to give up. I refuse to give up, but the medicines are making me weary. I wait until Lisa is with me to tell her the news.

"Lisa, I can't make it. I need to go."

"Gabbi? No. Gabbi! You can't! You need to graduate! You need to be with me! I need you Gabbi!"

"Lisa, it will be easier this way. You can make new friends. You don't need a sick friend. I'm just stopping you. You need to go out and live your life to the fullest."

"No. Gabbi! I do need you. You've taught me more than anyone else I've met. You're my role model. I'm living my life to the fullest. I need you and you need me. We're going to be friends forever."

"Forever might not be as far away as you think. I'm an ugly duckling. I need to turn into a beautiful swan and fly to heaven."

"No, Gabbi. You're already a beautiful swan. We need you here. I need you here, your parents need you here. Life won't be the same without you. Gabbi? Don't leave."

"Lisa. Take the rug, it's yours. I was going to make it for you before my sickness got in the way. My sickness always gets in the way. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of everything. I need to leave. Tell my parents I love them. Be strong Lisa, don't cry. I'll be watching you from heaven. I'll meet you there. Good bye Lisa, good luck. Remember me."

"Gabbi? No, Gabbi. We're always going to be together. We need each other. I don't care about your sickness. Stay here Gabbi. Gabbi?"

"Yes Lisa?"

"I'll never forget you Gabbi."