Chapter 5

Of Growing Up and Ghosts

Lily Evans found no solace in sleep leading up to the Hogsmeade weekend. Her subconscious continuously led her back to the instant she had asked out James Potter. There she stood, looking down into the dream pensive as the scene played out before her. She saw herself, performing her Head Girl rounds and then meeting up with James in order for him to take over the patrol. She saw herself nervously flick back her hair, and pull at her hands as she talked to the man who literally could drive her insane.

"Don't do it," her dream self would scream at the memory. "Don't do it, you fool! Anne is a lousy friend. She won't chuck you off the astronomy tower like she promised. Don't do it."

But no matter how much protest her dream self put up, the memory continued to play on. James would smile slightly, as Lily struggled with the words. She heard herself ask "do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?"

Lily's dream self sank to her knees, pulling at her hair. What could have made her do something so stupid? She didn't need to continue to watch the memory to know what happened. James' smile practically threatened to split his stupid, handsome face. He answered "yes" without hesitation. The deed was done.

With a start, Lily woke from her dream, drenched in cold sweat. The same dream had plagued her for the past week, and with a sick feeling in her stomach she realized today was the Hogsmeade trip. Dragging herself out of bed, she leaned out the window in hopes of seeing someone practicing on the Quidditch pitch. At least then she could go down to the field in hopes of being knocked unconscious by a stray bludger. Unfortunately, all the teams seemed to have the day off in preparation for the Hogsmeade visit.

Anne walked out of the adjoining bathroom at that moment, and Lily gave her one final, pleading look.

"I am not throwing you off the astronomy tower," Anne responded lazily. "But I will help you get ready for your date."

Lily glared daggers at her best friend. "I'm not doing anything special. I'm just going in plain old normal clothes, no fancy hair, and no makeup."

"What about perfume, or jewelry?" Anne smirked, holding a necklace in one hand and a thin blue bottle in the other. She ducked as a pillow came flying in her direction.

When Lily Evans finally escaped her dormitory after half an hour of arguing and compromises, she had to admit she looked good. Anne had forced a sweater over her head, which mercifully high cut, was also skin tight and showed off every curve of Lily's torso. In exchange for no makeup, Lily had allowed Anne to hang a dainty necklace from her neck along with matching earrings. The perfume had almost been the crushing issue, but Lily finally got Anne to put away the flowery smelling bottles for a hair brush instead. Her long red hair now flowed freely past her shoulders, framing her face in comparison to its usual messy tieback.

Breakfast was in full swing when Lily and Anne appeared in the Great Hall. Lily tried to ignore James, who sat at the other end of the table openly gawking at her. She didn't think she looked that good. But all too soon the toast, eggs, and bacon were gone and Anne stood up.

"Save me, please, someone," Lily moaned as she automatically picked up her cloak from beside her.

"It's a date, not an execution," Anne shot back. "Honestly, it's not going to kill you to go out with James one time."

But Lily couldn't explain to Anne the fact that surviving was the very thing she feared. What if she ended up having fun, what if she ended up going on more dates with James? She would be the biggest hypocrite in the entire school. She had once told off an entire group of fourth year girls for giggling over James in the common room. What had she scolded them with? Oh yes, 'only the most shallow, Slytherin wannabe would degrade herself and the entire female race by agreeing to date the pig head known as James Potter.' Damn her tongue.

James waited for her in the entrance hall. His posse had gone on ahead of him, though not far enough from the doors to be out of cat call range. Lily felt her face redden at the far off whistle she received from Sirius. He had yelled something too, but luckily it hadn't reached her ears.

"You look great," James said instantly and honestly when he saw Lily, running a hand through his already tussled hair.

He looked great too, she thought against her own desires. His chocolate, turtle neck sweater matched his brown eyes, which only seemed to be enhanced, rather than hidden, by his glasses. And the tight fabric made it impossible to ignore his Quidditch player physique. "Thanks" she muttered as she tossed her cloak over her shoulders and fastened it tightly.

The clear, but cold February day caused every breath they took to rise like steam from their lips. Lily pulled her cloak tighter, pulling the hood over her ears and shoving her hands into gloves. James didn't bother with his hood, but kept his hands in his pant's pockets.

"So what do you want to do in Hogsmeade?" he asked. Was that nervousness she sensed in his voice?

"Well, seeing as it is Valentine's Day everyone will be going to Madam Puddifoot's…" Lily stopped and laughed as James uttered an involuntary moan. "But I see your experiences there have been about as good as mine, so I suggest the Three Broomsticks instead."

The Three Broomsticks was very crowded, as was usual for a Hogsmeade weekend. Lily was torn between the thought of so many people seeing her on a date with James and the thought that at least a place so crowded couldn't be considered romantic. James bought two butterbeers and led them to a table in the corner near the back. He refused to accept any gold from Lily. "This is a date, after all," he reminded her. "And I'm a gentleman."

Lily couldn't help but snort into her butterbeer.

"What, don't you think I'm a gentleman?" asked James, feigning a hurt voice. They both knew Lily could spend hours counting the ways James wasn't a gentleman.

"You've been more of a gentleman lately," she told him quietly. "I'm not used to you being so…not arrogant."

"Yeah," James replied solemnly. "I look back, especially on fifth year, and I can't believe how conceited I was. Funny thing, being forced to grow up. It changes the way you look at the world. That was the good that came out of my parents' deaths. I finally got a clue to what the real world was."

"I wonder if I will ever find any good from my parents' deaths," Lily mused.

They had fallen back on their old standby for conversation: their parents. And that's what they stuck to until they could no longer ignore their empty butterbeers or the annoying enchanted hearts that kept singing sickeningly sweet love songs in the background.

"Where do you want to go next?" Lily inquired, hoping it wasn't going to be Zonko's.

"Shrieking Shack," James grunted, enjoying the shocked look on Lily's face.

"Why do you want to go there?" she demanded as they left the Three Broomsticks, trying to hide the fact she felt uncomfortable being anywhere near the building the residents of Hogsmeade were fast deeming the 'most haunted building in Britain.'

"Scared?"

"Of course not."

"Good." James trudged along the packed snow path toward the boarded up building. "See, it doesn't seem haunted today," he commented as they looked at the quiet house. Lily, however, was still not keen on going any closer. "What, still scared?"

"I'm not scared," she said through gritted teeth. This was the old James now, the annoying one. "I just think that house is very odd. No one can seem to remember when it was built or for whom, so it must be very old. But I've checked all sorts of books in the library about haunted buildings and the history of structures in Hogsmeade and the surrounding area. There is no mention of it anywhere."

James looked uncomfortable for a second, or maybe it was just his shock to learn that Lily would investigate something non-school related so thoroughly. "You really are a brilliant witch," he finally mumbled. "And as such, I don't know why you should be so afraid. Come on, let's get closer."

"Closer?" Lily choked. But it was too late, James had taken the lead, grasping Lily's hand firmly in his own and dragging her closer to the looming building. He didn't let her hand go until they were standing beside one boarded up window.

"See, nothing to be afraid of," he stated, waving his arm at the building.

Indeed, Lily could hear no noises from within. The wailing and screaming that the villagers claimed they heard every so often were not present.

James became even bolder, knocking on the boarded windows and listening. Lily realized he had dragged her up here to show off how brave he was. Few wizards would go tap on the window of a highly haunted building without any fear. Her own apprehension quickly disappeared too. The Shrieking Shack seemed nothing more than a sad, dilapidated old building that probably sounded really spooky in the wind at night. Not one to be easily shown up by James Potter, Lily tapped on the boards covering the window as well.

The words "I think you're right, James," had barely left her mouth when she froze. She had just heard what sounded like someone or something scratching against the inside of the window. She took one very large step back from the building.

"Did you hear that?" she managed to croak.

"Hear what?"

Oh good, she was either going mad or James was deaf. The scratching seemed to stop, but the next instant the window shook violently, like something was trying to pry away the boards. Lily took another very large step backward. James must have seen that.

"Lily what's wrong?"

Is he blind now? "Watch the window," she whispered, barely audibly.

The window, though, had stopped shaking. Maybe she really was going mad. She was beginning to entertain the thought when there was a very loud crash and the whole side of the house shook, as if many things were being hurled against the wall simultaneously. Mad or not, Lily wasn't stupid. She turned tail and ran all the way back to the path, presuming that James would have noticed that and be right behind her.

If Lily had looked back, however, she would have seen James practically doubled up with laughter in the snow, still next to the boarded up window. She also would have heard much less ghostly noises.

"Was that it, Prongs? Really, we were just getting started. Why'd you have to get a skittish one?"

"Sorry Padfoot, I didn't think Evans was that jumpy. I thought we could at least get those flares into play. So much for our theory on picking up women based on Muggle horror films."

"Can we leave now?" Remus called from inside. "You know I hate being in here."

"I know, I'm sorry Moony. Come find me. I owe you guys some butterbeers."

One paper bag, courtesy of Zonko's, and twenty minutes later, Lily had finally stopped hyperventilating and could now control her own heartbeat and respiration again. When James found her he looked more amused than worried, and Lily had the distinct notion he knew something she didn't.

"I'm not crazy, you saw the walls shake, right?" were the first words she uttered to him.

"Yes, that I saw. I'm sorry Lily. I've been up there tons of times and never had anything like that happen before."

"And is there a reason you didn't run away screaming too?"

"I don't spook easily."

Lily just glared at him.

"Though you must admit, I bet this was the most eventful date you've ever had."

That was bold of him, Lily thought. Of course, he was right. She had definitely never been chased away from the shrieking shack by ghosts on a date before.

"Do you want to go back up to the castle?"

Lily nodded. "I'm sorry to cut our date short."

"It's ok, I understand. I'll walk you up to the school."

They made pleasant small talk all the way back to Hogwarts. Despite nearly having her heart explode out of her chest, Lily had an enjoyable time. At the main doors to the castle, James held her back by pulling on one of her gloved hands.

"Lily, truthfully, why did you ask me to go to Hogsmeade with you?"

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "I really don't. Trust me, I thought grief had made me go mad at first."

"And now?" he prompted.

"And now, it doesn't matter the reason, because I actually did have a good time, James, even if I almost did get attacked by vicious ghosts. But now it's my turn to ask you something. Why after all those years of being rejected by me, did you never cease? And, why after my parents died, did you stop?"

"That was two questions," James joked. "Rejection never stopped me, because except for you, I knew I could have any girl I wanted if I was persistent enough. Cocky, I know. You were the only one who wouldn't give in just to get me to shut up. You were the challenge, Lily Evans. Though, this year I wasn't so keen on the challenge, for two reasons really. As I told you over our butterbeers, my parents' deaths made me realize there are more important things than asking girls out. Then, after being with you through the same experience, you weren't a challenge anymore Lily. You became a confidant, a friend."

"And what am I now," she asked, her voice shaking slightly.

James, however, just laughed lightly and smiled at her. "That's up to you to decide. I'll see you in the common room later." And with that he kissed her forehead softly and started back down the path to Hogsmeade.

At the gates of Hogwarts James was met by Sirius, Remus, and Peter, though Lily swore they had left for Hogsmeade before her and James. And what was "that's up to you to decide," supposed to mean?