Chapter 9

Easter Baskets and Whoopee Cushions

Lily woke on Easter morning to find, for the first time in her life, no Easter basket at the foot of her bed. Her dormitory was empty. All the other girls had gone home for the holiday. Anne would have stayed if Lily let her, but the red head had forced her blonde friend to go home. Lily had learned the hard way that life was too short. She wished she had spent more time with her family when she had the chance. She wasn't going to let Anne miss out on her family, she'd get to spend the last three months of school with Lily anyway.

Suddenly two loud bangs on her door, as if someone had kicked it, startled her out of her thoughts. She didn't bother pulling a dressing gown over her nightdress, expecting to find one of the few Gryffindor girls who had stayed over break. Instead, her hand flew to her mouth in shock as a very familiar set of eyes on a very unfamiliar body greeted her. James, in his animagus form, stood outside her dormitory door, an Easter basket hanging from his antlers.

Getting over her shock, Lily stepped aside to allow the stag to step into the room as she mumbled, "It's reassuring to know that those stairs only guard against animagi in their human form."

By the time she closed the door again and turned around, James was back to his bipedal self. "It's Padfoot you really need to worry about," he told her with a grin, holding out the Easter basket to her.

"What's this?" she inquired, taking the gift. Peering into the basket, she pushed aside the brightly colored Easter grass and saw a large, square Honeydukes box.

"I knew you were going to miss your tradition," he explained as she opened the box. Inside was a large peanut butter egg, dipped in chocolate, with 'To Lily, Love James' written on it in color changing icing.

"Oh James, you're wonderful," she cried, throwing her arms around him. She felt both the sharp pain of loosing her parents and the deep love for James' thoughtfulness. "I feel bad that I didn't get you anything."

"Share some of that egg with me and don't worry about it."

"Oh, I see how it is," Lily teased, "you mooch!"

James grinned again before leaning down and giving her a good morning kiss. "Breakfast?"

"In my nightdress?"

"Why not? I like it," he replied lustfully.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Potter, it's Easter!" She grabbed some clothes, carefully hiding her knickers from James' prying eyes, and dashed into the adjoining bathroom. She emerged five minutes later fully dressed and ready for breakfast, only to find James lounging lazily on her bed.

She walked over and grabbed his hand, in order to lead him down to breakfast. However, James had other plans, and promptly pulled Lily onto the bed and on top of him. She shrieked in surprise as he pulled her head down for another kiss. When she finally rolled off him, she was flushed and they were both breathing heavy. No wonder those stairs were charmed to keep boys out of the girls' dormitories. "Come on, James. You are the one who asked for breakfast," she goaded, pulling him toward the door.

James followed obediently, knowing he had gotten as far as she would let him. It wasn't worth the risk to press his luck. As she stepped out onto the spiral staircase, he paused just inside the threshold. "I have to transform to go down," he told her.

"And ruin my ride, I don't think so," Lily responded, sitting down on the step. She pulled on his arm with more force than he expected and he stepped out onto the stairs in order to keep his balance. "You might want to sit down," Lily giggled.

James, however, barely had time to think about her words before the steps disappeared and a stone slide took their place. Lily laughed as James tried to keep his footing. His athletic side eventually kicked in, enabling him to remain in a semi-standing position as he slid down the spiral slide. He stumbled though, at the bottom, and ended up on his backside on the common room floor. Lily, having rode down on her rear, popped up gracefully onto her feet. Remus gave them a curious look over the top of his book.

James got to his feet, looking exhilarated. "Step surfing!" he exclaimed to Remus. "Lily, you have got to let Sirius and I do that again tonight!"

"I am going to pretend, as a Prefect, that I didn't see or hear that," Remus responded.

"Hello Remus," Lily said pleasantly, ignoring James' request. "I didn't know you were staying over break."

"Full moon is tomorrow," he responded. "And spending it with Padfoot and Prongs is by far preferable to the way I would spend it at home." Although his usual cordial self, Lily could tell he was very tired.

"Speaking of the scoundrel, where is Padfoot?" James inquired.

"The bloke said he was too hungry to wait for you to…" Remus flushed slightly. "Well, you can imagine what he said about you going up to Lily's dormitory, unchaperoned."

Lily felt herself blush deeply, despite the fact she and James had done nothing more than snog innocently. Well, as innocently as one could snog. She noticed, however, that James looked more smug than embarrassed: typical male.

As they left the Great Hall after breakfast, James pulled Lily aside. He had carried his bag down with him from the common room, but wouldn't tell her what was inside.

"I knew you were going to be melancholy today, so I did some research on what Muggle Easter is all about," he told her, sounding very proud of himself. Lily held back a groan. James was fairly smart, but he wasn't the brightest when it came to things pertaining to Muggles.

"So I asked some of the Muggle born and half-blood girls in Gryffindor what they thought of around Easter. And the number one answer was chocolate, and well, that was already taken care of with the egg and Easter basket this morning. But the second thing most commonly mentioned was baby chickens and rabbits."

This time Lily actually did groan.

James, however, either didn't hear her or ignored it, as he proceeded to pull two cloaks out of his bag. "And, well, I wasn't sure where to find baby chickens, but I have it on good word that Professor Kettleburn has just had a bunch of Cockatrice eggs hatch. He's letting Hagrid keep them in his hut over break."

"James, Cockatrices have been known to kill people."

"Not when they're babies. I talked to Hagrid already, and he said they were harmless."

Lily snorted. Hagrid's idea of harmless was a bit different than her own. However, she didn't have the heart to tell James she hadn't played with bunnies and chicks since she was eight, so she accepted a cloak and followed him out onto the grounds.

As they passed the greenhouses they saw they weren't the only ones out for a bit of fun. Professor Sprout had the remaining young Hufflepuff students out and in the midst of a magical egg hunt. Lily couldn't help but laugh as she saw a group of second years attempting to summon one egg out of the branches of an oak tree.

"A levitation charm might work better," she whispered softly to one girl as she and James passed. The girl looked stricken at being addressed by the Head Girl, but eventually pulled herself together enough to utter the charm she had learned the year before. The egg softly lifted away from the branch and floated down to her hands.

"Thanks," the girl mumbled shyly, stuffing the new egg into her cloak pocket before her and her friends scurried off to find more hidden eggs.

"Easter egg hunts were the third most often mentioned thing," James told Lily. "And I couldn't help but think how unsportsmanlike it was to hunt a helpless egg, but now I see that isn't what they meant."

Lily laughed, as the mental image of a man dressed in camouflage with a large gun sneaking up behind a brightly colored egg popped into her head. "The church we went to always held an Easter egg hunt after service for all the children. I remember helping Mum dye some of the eggs that would be used. It was never a fair competition, though. All the girls were in their new Easter dresses, with white tights and patent leather shoes, and heaven help us if we got one grass stain on us. The boys on the other hand, could run around as much as they wanted. I remember one year, I was just stooping down to pick up an egg, since 'ladies don't bend over, they stoop,'" she imitated her mother's voice. "And before I could grab the egg, some little upstart boy grabbed it first. I remember I got so mad that I grabbed his hand, determined to get that egg back. I didn't mean to, but when I pulled my hand away he had a bunch of little nasty boils, and he ran off crying."

"That doesn't surprise me at all, Lily," James chuckled. "You always seemed like that girl who made the boys cry."

"Hey!" Lily shoved him playfully. "I'll make you cry if you aren't careful."

They arrived at Hagrid's hut, with James still dry eyed. After knocking, the gentle half giant opened the door, grinning down at both of them.

"Yeh're just in time," he informed them merrily. "I've just finished feedin' em."

"Wonderful," Lily replied, hoping she had hidden the sarcasm well enough. She was still unsure about what to expect from Cockatrice chicks. However, even she had to agree that the tiny creatures were almost cute. Their rooster genetics made their feathery parts soft, yellow, and very fluffy. Though it was the reptilian parts Lily worried about, and she wasn't keen to have one of the critters mistake her fingers for flobberworms. After almost being bitten three times, Lily finally managed to convince James that her Easter tradition had been fulfilled and that they could go back to the castle anytime. After finishing their tea, and once more turning down Hagrid's offer to take some rock cakes back with them, they wished Hagrid a happy Easter and started the walk back up to the school.

After the Easter dinner, in which Lily was quite sure the house elves had outdone themselves, she, James, Remus, and Sirius all relaxed in front of the common room fire. Peter, like Anne, had gone home for the holiday, though only because his overbearing mother had demanded it.

Lily was attempting to read a Muggle book about a very short man, a ring that turned the wearer invisible, and the Muggle misconception of what it meant to be a wizard. However, between the rambling of the author into family lineage charts, and her concern for Remus' upcoming transformation, the novel just couldn't keep Lily's attention. The fact that James and Sirius kept bursting into uncontrollable laughter two chairs away didn't help either.

"Are you going to let anyone in on the joke?" she asked them irritably, after another disturbing round of hiccup inducing laughter.

"You… don't…" James held his sides, and it seemed to be painful to try and talk.

"Are you crying!" Lily exclaimed.

He nodded, as he and Sirius exchanged glances and fell to the floor in another bout of hysterical giggling.

Lily looked over to Remus for support. "How can you read through the racket they are making? And don't you want to know what is so bloody funny?"

Remus slowly pulled his book away from his face. "I've developed selective hearing where those two are concerned," he responded tiredly. Lily couldn't believe how ill he looked. "And I'm willing to bet my Prefect badge that what is so funny are their plans for Thursday."

Lily had to stop and think what Thursday was, before the answer hit her like a speeding Bludger. "April Fool's Day," she breathed, and Remus nodded before allowing himself to become absorbed in his book again. She chided herself for not figuring it out sooner. The rest of the students would return on Wednesday, just in time for James and Sirius to try and break their all time 'number of detentions earned in one day' record. She really didn't want to know what they were planning. However, James had managed to prank her every year they had been at Hogwarts. It was just one of the many ways he had so endeared her to him in the past. She would make sure that this year, she had a truce.

"James, dear," she said sweetly during a break in the laughter.

"Yes, Lily, love," he responded, his face flushed from all the laughing. Sirius still hiccuped next to him.

"I want to discuss Thursday with you."

"Oh, you're not going to tell him he can't prank Snivellus, are you?" Sirius whined.

Lily hadn't even thought about what they would do to Severus. "Actually," she replied, "I was thinking more about myself, but since you mentioned it, Sirius." James shot Sirius a nasty glare. "James, I just want a promise that I'm not going to have to watch my back around you all day."

"You're no fun," Sirius protested. "We could always charm you to have a sense of humor for the day."

"I have a sense of humor!" Lily returned, giving an angry glare at James, who had unsuccessfully tried to turn his snort of laughter into a sneeze.

"Just because we lose one battle, doesn't mean we loose the war," James told Sirius. He then flashed his usual cheeky smile at Lily, while promising, "I will ensure that you are not pranked by me, Sirius, Peter, or Remus. I can not speak for anyone else, however."

"That will be fine," Lily replied, stretching out her hand to make James seal the agreement. He kissed it rather than shake it, however, causing Sirius to gag.

"And about one Severus Snape…"

"Aw, come on Lily, I've been relatively civil to him almost all year," James whined, sounding even more like a four year old than Sirius.

This time it was Remus who tried to hide a snort of laughter.

"Do you have something to say on the matter?" Lily inquired, hoping that Remus would back her up.

"Well, Lily, it is April Fool's Day. And as long as you and James set down some stipulations, I don't think it could be too harmful to allow him just one small joke on Sniv…I mean, Severus."

Traitor, Lily thought irritably. James didn't seem to be looking at Remus too fondly either.

"Stipulations, Moony? Haven't we rubbed off on you at least a little in the past seven years?"

"More than I would care to admit, Prongs," Remus replied, smiling through his sick appearance. "But, you will loose the war with Lily if you do not concede some things when it comes to your and Sirius' plans for April Fool's Day."

"I'm willing to compromise if you are," Lily told James.

"It depends on what the compromise is, doesn't it Prongs?" Sirius cut in.

James looked rather uncomfortable, stuck between his girlfriend and best friend. "What did you have in mind, Lily?" he finally inquired meekly.

"You're not to humiliate him horribly in front of the entire school, so nothing in the Great Hall. Also, nothing that involves him showing off his knickers, or worse, what's under his knickers."

Sirius shuddered involuntarily at the thought. "Merlin Lily, even James and I wouldn't do that. We don't want to go blind."

James snickered softly, but quickly stopped when Lily shot him one of her signature glances. "Basically, I don't want to find out that either of you did anything to mortify him completely…"

"What if you don't find…" Sirius stopped as her glare turned from James to him.

"Nothing worse than a whoopee cushion, do you both understand me?"

James and Sirius looked at each other, and seemed to be contemplating the proposal. They turned back to Lily and replied simultaneously, "what's a whoopee cushion?"

Remus snorted again. "Never mind," Lily told them, slightly exasperated, "the point is…"

"No, we want to know," James interrupted.

"For once we actually want to learn," Sirius added.

"Then you should have taken Muggle Studies."

"Ah, come on Lily," James begged. "Just tell us what a whoopee cushion is, it sounds kind of fun."

"No, I don't want to give you two any more ideas than your sick brains already think up."

"Fine, we'll just ask Remus," Sirius replied, with the air of a child who's just been told he can't have dessert by mum, and is going to ask dad instead. "Moony, my old friend," he began in a sing-song voice.

"Remus, don't tell them!" Lily pleaded.

Remus gave Lily an apologetic look. "Sorry Lily, but they are spending tomorrow night with me."

Lily huffed as Remus explained the basic function of a whoopee cushion to his two students, who listened with rapt attention. When he was done, Sirius had an evil look on his face.

"We accept your terms, Miss Evans," he told her sternly. "Nothing worse than a whoopee cushion."

She definitely didn't like the expressions on James and Sirius' faces.

A/N: I hope everyone liked the chapter. I'm sorry if I completely Americanized British Easter, I plead just plain stupidity on the subject. If anyone knows if they do things differently in Great Britian, leave it in a review and I can repost the chapter.