Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, or the characters within it. This is loosely based around a song.
Notes: I don't really write sap anymore, but this was a good exercise to get me into the GW spirit again, and it only took a few minutes. Yesterday I finished the next chapter for my other story, the action/adventure/romance, "The Perfection of 02," but it's too short. I'm working on lengthening it. Since I hit a block, I figured I'd write some nonsense and let everyone know I'm still alive. Also, my html preview on this site isn't working right now... so it's half-hacked html to get the formatting.
I'mNot Sorry
By:Maxwell-Yuy
Heero checked his watch as he walked down Chestnut Street. He'd thought he would be late, but taking the metro saved him the time he'd lost earlier when his boss held him late at the office. He was never late, and he wouldn't let Wu-Fei get the satisfaction of being there the first time he slipped up. Securing his scarf, he rounded the corner of 12th Street to see Wu-Fei outside their meeting place - an old pub the two stumbled upon back in college. Someone was standing behind the Chinese man with his back turned to Heero. The man was peering into a window of the pub and pulling his hood further down towards his face, presumably to shield himself from the cold and damp air.
"And here I thought you were going to be late!" Steam puffed from Wu-Fei's mouth as he smiled at his old friend. His cheeks were rosy from the cold, something that Heero always found funny the stoic Chinese man. "It's good to see you. I want you to meet a friend of mine..."
The man behind him turned and a shock ran through his body. Heero hadn't been expecting this. "I think we've met before," he said.
As if on cue, the sky opened and swallowed the city in sheets of rain. The three men scrambled to cover themselves and before they knew it one of them had hailed a taxi. They piled into the car with Wu-Fei in the front giving directions to the driver.
They drove in silence, Heero and the man sitting as far away from each other as possible in the back. Heero stared out the window, avoiding the other's looks. He could feel the man summing him up with a gaze. Then without warning the man finally looked away defeated. He must have thought Heero was avoiding contact with him because he was sorry to see him again. Heero sighed inwardly. He wasn't sad to see him. He just wished he could remember his name...
----------
Duo tried to keep his eyes off Heero. Instinctively his gaze was drawn down to his own hands, and the faint scar on one of his knuckles. He remembered the day he got it, punching the steering wheel of his car and cutting himself on the metal emblem over the horn. He'd been so broken that day - when he left Heero for good.
He didn't really blame Heero, though. He'd had tried to make their relationship work, but they were young and inexperienced. Heero couldn't bring himself to see who Duo was on the inside. He didn't know how to care enough about others to obtain any deep understanding or connection, and Duo knew he couldn't stay in a relationship like that.
As he reflected on his scar, he felt Heero's eyes slowly come to rest on him. Duo knew that stare - it was the only one he hadn't felt before. Heero was seeing him in a new light. Maybe it was because he expected him to make a scene - anything loud and attention grabbing. If he still expected Duo to be the obnoxious teen he once saw him as, he must have been surprised. The stare coupled with the warming glow on his skin caused by Heero's fierce eyes was like fire cleansing their sins.
For years when he'd thought of Heero he wished he could picture his face more clearly. He'd remembered the words to describe him, but could not remember his actual features. Seeing him today was like seeing a ghost. Time had all but erased his face from his memory.
Time, he realized, was everything. It had erased much of the man sitting across the taxi; and it was the reason he left Heero. He didn't feel there was enough time to wait for him. He'd chosen to throw himself headfirst into their relationship instead of holding back, and Heero couldn't choose. His uncertainty had kept them in limbo, and Duo desperately needed to move forward. For a while he sent Heero letters, telling him what he was doing and extending an open invitation for him to visit, but he'd never gotten a reply.
They'd had something more real than anything else he'd experienced, and he figured that there really wasn't any way to go back.
----------
Heero knew he was staring, and tore his eyes away. The car stopped and he and Duo exited into the drizzling rain while Wu-Fei mumbled something about covering the bill once he found his wallet. As the chinese man searched through his pockets, Heero and Duo stood on a street corner in silence.
Live through a relationship like theirs, and you shouldn't look back, right? But Heero couldn't help himself. He turned to face the man to his right. "I have something I need to say, and it's not easy."
Duo looked him in the eyes, and Heero knew he was surprised that he was speaking.
"I really wanted us to work."
"Me, too," Duo whispered.
"And I gave what I could. It wasn't enough, but it was all I had at the time."
"I know."
"And I'm not sorry I met you." He put a hand on Duo's shoulder and continued in a softer voice, "And I'm not sorry that it's over. I'm not sorry we don't have anything to say to each other, that there's nothing to save here."
Duo looked down to the street.
He plowed on, "Because I don't think we need saving anymore. We're different now. At least I'm different."
Duo looked back up to him, puzzled. Wu-Fei emerged from the taxi and stayed back, sensing something big was going down and he shouldn't get in the middle of it all.
"You know, I tried so hard to forget you." Heero chuckled, "I can't even remember your name!"
Duo looked hurt.
"But I remember one thing. Something I never forgot."
Violet eyes twinkled a little.
"I remember how much I love you. I still love you, after all these years I still couldn't get you completely out of my head."
Duo smiled. "Good." He paused and really looked into Heero. He got a good feeling for the first time in a while. "I'm not sorry, either. And if you'd like to meet for coffee sometime," he was beaming now, "my name's still Duo."
Wu-Fei cleared his throat, and Heero dropped his hand as the two turned to face their mutual friend. "So I guess setting you two up on a blind date wasn't really needed, eh?"
------------------------------------
Reviews are nice, but really I just posted this to let everyone know I didn't abandon
