Let's keep it going :)
This one goes out to the besties (proper thank-you emails coming SOON! This is my first time having to do this for this story. Y'all lit UP last chapter):
PippElulu, sergeant peace, Riley Freeman Bae 23, anonrain, anon, freegirl999, clockwork'sFinest, Nicky7994, DaKingUndisputed, CartoonLover187, janiyah, luv ta luv ya, Jazavelli, Zangetsu12, Guest, Guest(2), SammiSweetheart, wickedhpnerd, Mrs. Uzumaki, Mariah Carey Fan, Asia, Anon(2), Riley444, Zenith Relaxation, Cindy2Good4Riley, and danielonyeka do.
And an extra special thank you to clockwork'sFinest for dropping her skillz on me and giving me such inspiration for a particular scene in this chapter. It would seriously be nonexistent without her and it's definitely my favorite part of the chapter.
I can tell you right now… it's about to go down. I went back on forth on this chapter for a while, y'all. I really wasn't gonna do it, but in the end decided to light it up and let it burn on my Usher ish. It could potentially be a hit or miss… you could potentially either love it or hate it… but I'm doing it, it's done.
And who doesn't enjoy a little bit of drama? :)
Enjoy kids.
Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Aaron McGruder's The Boondocks or any of his characters.
"There ain't no such thing as a tooth fairy."
"Then who leaves the money?"
"Probably your parents. They have both the cash and the access to your room."
"Why would they lie to me?"
"Because the truth hurts, Jazmine. The world is a hard and lonely place and nobody gets anything for free. And you want to know what else? One day, you and everyone you know is gonna die."
Huey Freeman & Jazmine Dubois; The Real
Cindy's POV
Her eyes flashed open in irritation as she felt her phone vibrate against her leg. She knew she should've left it in her locker.
With a sigh, she took the bait and glanced down at her screen. As she expected, it was him again. And at no surprise, it was another snarky text.
Your hands broken or what? Wtf.
Cindy rolled her eyes and put her phone down again, silencing it in the process. She knew Riley was testing her. He had been for the past three days. But at the same time, she knew that she was testing him by ignoring him completely. She hadn't responded once to any of his texts. She had also avoided answering her phone when he had even tried to call her on three separate occasions, probably as a last resort since she wouldn't reply to him. He had started off innocently enough, but seemed to catch on eventually.
Sup.
You need to get your friends. Comin at me talkin some bullshit, foh.
Want company?
Nvm, you come here. I'm tired.
Aye. Where you at?
Stop bein a lil bitch and answer the phone fr.
Your battery better be dead or some shit. You pissing me off.
The FUCK?
Wooooww. So it's like that then?
Whatever Cindy.
She rolled her eyes again as she looked back at some of the texts. It apparently wasn't just "whatever." Especially if he texted out her name, which he only did when he was irritated, the emphasis on her name heavy. But she didn't care. She'd talk to him when she was either ready to or forced to. It was only a matter of time now until he showed up to her place unannounced. And she'd deal with that when the time came.
For now, she was relaxing. Trying to anyway. Cindy had just finished a long workout and decided to wind down with a break to the gym sauna. She rarely visited the room, only on occasion, but felt like she needed a change of pace and scenery. There was something about the hot, wooden space that made her feel calm. She also got lucky today and had the pleasure of having the room all to herself. She currently had her body and legs sprawled along the bench, her body lightly covered by her towel while she rested with her eyes closed.
Click.
Her eyes snapped open again to a sound at the entrance, signaling someone else was trying to come in. With a groan, she rose from her position on the bench to make space if need be, consciously gripping the towel a little tighter around her naked body. As the door opened, a chill ran down her body at the sudden crisp breeze, but her eyes widened in surprise at the last person she expected to run into that day.
Ming Long-Dou.
Cindy stiffened at the sight of her, as her eyes locked with Ming's dark ones. It had been several months since she'd last seen her, but she hadn't changed much physically. She was still extremely lithe in build, tall even while barefoot, and almost completely stoic in expression. Cindy could guess that her attitude probably hadn't changed much either. They had always had a rocky history, stemming from her arrival to Woodcrest for the infamous Wushung/Woodcrest Junior/Senior Harmonious Kickball Tournament. From that point on, Cindy could've bet her life that Ming was a snake and had promised to never trust her. The crew had shared those same sentiments as well… up until Hiro had gone on and started to have a thing for her.
It blew the others' minds. Hiro, a close friend to the group, had been away for that summer and had missed the tournament; as a result, he didn't truly grasp the intensity and emotions that came from the outcome of the game. Even after they had tried to explain Ming's deceitfulness and cut-throat personality, Hiro had somehow taken to her. As disappointing as it was, it wasn't too surprising; Hiro could like and get along with anybody, he was a lot like Caesar in that way. In this case, it was different though. Ming was a bitch, point-blank to everybody she crossed paths with. Even to Hiro, from the moment they first met and onward. But somehow, by some strange miracle, Hiro cracked her… and they actually formed a mutual relationship together. And only out of respect to Hiro was the reason Cindy didn't completely fuck her ass up. They had definitely had their moments in the past growing up, both verbal and physical… mostly physical… but they were adults now. And after years of equal growing, Cindy had accepted that Ming was an obligatory distant crew member by association… so she held her tongue… when she could.
Were they friends? Not even close. Not by a long shot. Enemies? Cindy was able to put the past behind her, but definitely wouldn't ever forget. She still thought the girl had snake-like tendencies and couldn't trust her as far as she could throw her… but she could keep her cool about it.
They were frenemies, in the truest sense of the word.
"Ming." Cindy stated in a civil tone after an awkward beat of silence. Ming had still been standing in the doorway, looking just as startled to see her as Cindy was. But in an instant, she recovered and the expressionless look returned to her eyes.
"Cindy." She replied in the same tone, crossing the sauna to sit on the far bench away from her. Cindy tried not to smirk as she watched her. She definitely hadn't changed.
"…It's been awhile." Cindy spoke again after another long beat of silence. "Haven't seen you around the gym in months."
"I've been busy." Ming quipped, not even looking at her while she fiddled with a lock of her hair, examining the split ends. Cindy wondered how she could stand having all her hair down her neck and back like that with the heat.
"I'm sure." Cindy tried not to snort but failed. "How've you been?"
"Fine." Came the minimum answer again without any acknowledgement. Cindy rolled her eyes and dropped them to her phone for a distraction. She almost considered texting someone back.
"And you?" Cindy snapped her head up, almost shocked that Ming initiated further conversation. She still wasn't looking at her, but it wasn't like she had brought her phone in so she had to be talking to her.
"Uh, fine." She replied, almost guardedly. "How's Hiro? Haven't seen him either." Cindy was almost stunned again to get some form of response as she caught Ming roll her eyes.
"He's fine. Great, actually." She replied, sounding borderline sarcastic. "He's touring now."
Cindy tried to hold back her grin but failed. "You must miss him."
It got a little wider once Ming actually turned her head towards her to shoot her an unimpressed glare. "Let's just say he's taking it a lot worse than I am."
Cindy chuckled in amusement. "That's good for him though. He's hella talented." The boy completely slayed life at being a killer DJ.
"I suppose." Ming huffed with another eyeroll. "Enough about him. What about you and Huey Freeman's brother?"
That caught Cindy by surprise. "Ummm, what about us?" She asked in confusion.
Ming shrugged a shoulder. "I don't know, that's why I'm asking."
"Trust, Riley ain't my boy." Cindy said curtly, glancing down to exit out of her messages on her phone. What had she almost been thinking?
"Don't you guys fuck?"
"WHAT?" Cindy exclaimed, whipping her head over to her. Ming raised a calm eyebrow at her. "Who told you that?!" She demanded fiercely, but felt her heart drop when Ming simply smirked, completely unfazed. "N-not that we are!" Cindy tried to backpedal quickly, but the expression on Ming's face proved that it'd be pointless.
"I was just assuming up until you starting panicking… not to mention blushing." She added sadistically. "Shy all of the sudden, McPhearson?"
Cindy crossed her arms and looked away, knowing her face was probably bright red. "You don't know shit." She mumbled. Her anger boiled more when she heard Ming scoff. "And I ain't shy." She snapped for good measure. "You the one all up in my business."
"Did something happen?" Ming asked curiously, slightly mirroring the sound of concern. Cindy felt her eyes on her, but refused to glance her way. After a moment of silence, Ming scoffed again. "Fine. Excuse me for caring."
It was silent again and Cindy sighed, rubbing her arms for comfort. She didn't know why she felt herself doing what she was about to do, but she couldn't help it.
"Riley's just," She spoke after a beat, against her better judgement. "He's just… I don't know." She said quietly, not even knowing the words. "We didn't mean for it to happen. And now things are all fucked up." She trailed off even quieter, still staring at the wall.
"You didn't mean to fuck?" Ming asked bluntly, driving Cindy crazy.
"YES, Ming. If you must know." Cindy snipped, turning to glare at her again.
"And you're not together? Never were?" She asked again, ignoring her hostility.
"Hell no." Cindy answered with an eyeroll. "He's a little bitch."
Ming stared at her in brief silence before she rolled her eyes and gave her a look. "It took you this long to realize?"
Cindy smirked and shook her head. "Hell, I always knew that. His punk-ass."
"He's almost as insufferable as his brother." Ming sniffed.
"They tie for that, I swear."
"Tied with Huey Freeman?" Ming rose her eyebrow. "What the hell did he do to you?"
Cindy paused, averting eye contact slightly. "It's a long story. The short version is that he's a little bitch. We fucked by mistake and now it's kind of a thing but… I don't know. Things keep going from bad to worse between us. The entire thing was a bad idea from the start."
Ming didn't lose focus on her as she listened. "So you guys were going for a friends with benefits type deal?"
Cindy blushed, still not making direct eye contact. "Unfortunately."
Ming shook her head, rolling her eyes yet again. "Idiots. That shit never works out. You can't have your friend and fuck him too."
Cindy glowered at her for the dig. "Don't you know everything?"
"Duh." Ming lightly replied, almost cheekily. "Been there, done that. But now what? Are you both just going to fight until he comes over and-"
"Hoooollld the hell up, bitch." Cindy cut her off by holding up a hand, eyes wide as she stared at her. "Enough about me and my life. 'Been there, done that?' You and Hiro?"
"Obviously." Ming seemed unbothered.
"Whatchu mean 'obviously?'" Cindy demanded at her indifference. "I thought y'all had always dated!"
"Please." Ming snorted. "Back then I'd rather break my own legs than go anywhere with him, let alone on a date. But as you said, it happened one night and I liked it. But I'm no good at relationships. And he begged for more."
"I heard that." Cindy smirked to herself, thinking back to how much Riley had wanted it again so soon after their first time.
Ming ignored the comment, but had the faint glimmer of a smirk as well. "Naturally, the only thing we could do was a friends with benefits type relationship."
"Damn." Cindy said once she was finished. "How long that'd last for?"
"We lasted longer than I expected."
"Yeah? What made it change?"
"Mostly him telling me that he loved me." Ming told her openly, which surprised Cindy.
"For real?" She asked quietly.
"Yes." Ming seemed to give a look of irritation. "He always told me that before, but I didn't believe him until we started getting close like that. He caught feelings though… the fool."
"Come on, Ming." Cindy rolled her eyes at the front she tried to put on. "You clearly caught some too. Otherwise y'all wouldn't be dating right now."
"I didn't catch anything other than a boy who wouldn't let me out of his sight." She replied dryly, giving her an exasperated look. "I just got used to it. Now it's long distance and it's a mess. I thought we needed space but now I don't know anymore."
"Sounds like somebody's getting serious." Cindy smirked.
Ming gave her another harsh look as she scoffed. "It's him, not me."
"Mhm."
"He's the one with the Ming-dependency." She added as she crossed her arms. Cindy thought it was funny she was trying so hard to convince herself of that.
"Whatever you say, Ming. Like it or not, you seem to be more than a little dependent on him too."
"Comes with the relationship apparently. You seem pretty bitter about your situation though." She quickly turned the conversation around. "How bad is it?"
"I mean, I'm not going to get into it." Cindy replied warily. "Things are just rough right now. I don't know how much longer I'm gonna do this shit."
"And what? He caught feelings and you can't get rid of him because the sex is too good?" Ming raised a brow. "Typical."
"It ain't even like that." Cindy shot back immediately, feeling her face warm at her accusation. "He's just acting like a dick. Ain't nobody catchin' feelings up in this piece, believe that." She said strongly, but the look she got in return didn't seem to believe it.
"Whatever you say." Ming replied instead. "Why's he acting up?"
"Because he's a child." Cindy muttered. "He's just being… obnoxious lately. I don't know if I want to deal with it anymore. We haven't even talked in a while."
"Him being obnoxious is nothing new." Ming retorted boredly. "And why not? Pregnancy scares?"
Cindy felt her face heat up again, hating how it always gave her away. "Just one." She mumbled in shame.
Ming held her gaze before twirling a lock of her hair and glancing towards the ceiling. "Hiro and I became official after a pregnancy scare." She spoke calmly, making Cindy's eyebrows shoot up.
"Seriously?" She asked in shock, both at the information and the fact that she was choosing to divulge that to her. "Why then did you decide to be in a real relationship?" She asked in confusion.
"Because…." Ming said, still looking away from her. "I was scared he'd leave if I was pregnant. And I didn't want to even have a baby let alone raise one by myself."
"Girl, you know he ain't going nowhere!" Cindy cried in disbelief. Was she really that blind?
Ming shook her head, disregarding her statement. "We talked about things. And of course now he's got all these ideas in his head about marriage." She grimaced in annoyance. "I swear, you give these boys an inch and they'll take the entire mile."
Cindy stared at her in silence until Ming turned to meet her gaze. "I… do not… understand you." She told her slowly. "Hiro is literally perfect. You get that right? You don't even realize what you have."
"He's perfect for any other girl. Too perfect sometimes." Ming stated quietly. "Even for me." She added, dropping her voice even quieter as she glanced away again.
"I don't get you." Cindy repeated, almost feeling angry about it. "You're lucky. He's that perfect and wants to be with you and only you. Realize that. Boys nowadays don't come even remotely close to his standards."
"So why'd you settle for some fuckboy who doesn't meet your standards then?" Ming shot back, surprising Cindy as she was now looking directly at her.
"I… I'm not…." Cindy struggled, clearing her throat and willing away her blush. "I'm not with him. Like I said, shit happened."
"You let him in without any limitations?" Ming questioned dubiously. "Well no shit he isn't talking to you. He thinks he can hit it whenever he wants and it'll always be okay with you. Set some standards for yourself, McPhearson."
Cindy felt her face heat up, as well as her anger from Ming's words, but didn't even have a rebuttal. Thankfully, the door to the sauna made another noise, signaling that someone else would be entering.
"Whateva, Ming." She muttered, ignoring her eyes as she clutched her towel against her body tighter. "I'm done." She then rose from the bench and marched across the room with what she had left of her dignity.
The woman coming in held the door open for her as she passed by, Cindy about to walk through when Ming's voiced stopped her.
"Running away from your problems won't solve anything." She told her evenly. Cindy turned back to scowl at her, but her glare lessened at Ming's expression. It almost looked… sympathetic. "Trust me… I know." She added quietly, her voice now sounding almost… pitying.
And Cindy couldn't stand it.
Cindy couldn't keep her eyes from narrowing at the gesture. "Thanks for that." She mumbled, probably almost inaudibly before she slipped out of the room, letting the door close behind her.
Riley's POV
Enough was enough, dammit. And it shouldn't have come to this. Riley was already highly irritated that Cindy hadn't responded to him for days. That was the kinda shit that pissed him off. The fact that he was now burning up his gas to drive all the way to see her on his day off really pissed him off. Her damn phone better be broken. Because what the literal fuck?
Why had she been ignoring a nigga? Ain't shit changed as far as Riley was concerned. How could it if they hadn't even talked? And the last time that was had been at the club on Thursday. It might not have been the greatest night, and definitely ended earlier than planned, but he had thought things were squashed. Besides, his issue didn't lie with Cindy. His issue was with the wannabe-a-playa-lookin-nigga, his hatin'-ass brother, and his Mariah-Carey-lookin-ass-bitch. He had problems with them. And he'd be damned if they were gonna be the ones that caused problems between him and Cindy.
Things were fine between them. He believed that. There should be no reason things weren't.
Riley strolled down the hallway to her penthouse, already knowing she was home by the bass he could hear through the walls. He wasted no time in trying the handle, unsurprised to find it open right away.
And there she was. Stretched out on her couch in nothing but a workout bra and shorts, lying on her stomach as she was writing something in a notebook. Her hair was up in a messy ponytail and her face was clean from makeup, but she still looked extremely fuckable to Riley, especially when she gave him the cute glare she was wearing at the moment.
"Sup, girl." Riley gave her a head nod with a smirk. "And ew, is this Bryson Tiller?" He asked, wrinkling his nose in disgust. He couldn't stand that nigga, considered him a knockoff Chris Brown.
"What are you doing here?" She ignored him, her eyes not leaving his as the glare remained on her face.
"What's it look like?" Riley shrugged, crossing over to the couch. "I ain't seen or heard from you, so what's poppin'? Make room." He shooed his hand for her to move.
"'What's popping?' Are you seriously asking me that question?" Cindy remained still as she glanced up towards him, asking the question as if he were an idiot.
Riley didn't appreciate the tone. "Yeah, I did. And I said move." He glared, knowing it'd get a reaction out of her.
"Who the fuck you think you talkin' to, nigga?" Cindy demanded, rising up on her knees more so out of anger than his request.
"What the hell, you the one that's-whoaa, hold up." Riley lost his trail of thought as his eyes dropped down to the script on Cindy's right ribcage. It said Trust Issues in cursive font. "You got a tattoo?"
Cindy rolled her eyes, ignoring him as she used the remote to mute the song Don't playing on her stereo. Then she moved her notebook to the coffee table and rose from the couch. "What the hell does it matter?" She muttered, turning as if she were about to leave the room, but Riley stopped her as he noticed something else.
"Yooo, another one?" He had lightly grabbed her arm and gently turned her head back when she whipped it to him, examining the basketball marking behind her right ear. "That's tight."
Cindy shrugged him off and pulled almost roughly out of his grasp, still giving him that look. "Seriously, why the hell are you here, Reez?"
"Damn, what is up with you today? The fuck C, I'm just here to know-"
Ding.
He stopped when he was interrupted by an unmistakable noise. Both he and Cindy turned to the sound of the notification coming from the couch. Riley didn't hesitate, boxing Cindy out when she tried to go for it too. He beat her to it, pulling her cellphone from the cushions and raising it up above his head.
"GIVE IT BACK!" Cindy shouted, striking him hard on the arm before she tried to reach for it. Riley ignored her, easily unlocking her phone since he knew her code and going straight to the messages.
"Oh look, a new message from Jazzy." He sneered, feeling his anger rise. "And what else? Seventeen already opened messages from me. All of which got ignored." It was his turn to glare as he tossed her phone ruthlessly back onto the couch. He had used so much force that it bounced back off the cushions and fell onto the ground. Cindy snatched it up before rising to mirror his expression.
"You need to dial it back and I mean it." Cindy growled at him, but Riley didn't falter.
"And you need to explain." He bit back angrily. "The fuck is going on?"
"What do you think is goin' on, Riley?" She replied instead, with that bitchy tone again like he was stupid.
"I wouldn't be fuckin' asking you if I knew that, would I?" He snapped at her. "Lose the damn attitude and answer me. Because I thought things were fine."
"Are you serious?" Cindy said incredulously. "You thought things were fine? After everything that happened at Ivory?"
"You're actin' like so much happened!"
"Maybe you were too drunk to notice. My bad." Cindy scoffed.
"Notice what, Cindy?" Riley uttered, getting more and more pissed. "It was typical shit that happens everytime we all get together. I remember after that we toasted and then I went to dance. Way later after that, your stupid friends dragged me home, but that was it!"
"Like I said, you're leaving stuff out. Because you came into the club with an attitude, Riley. And already drunk as fuck."
"So what? It's called pre-game!"
"It's called asshole!" Cindy snapped coldly, almost taking him aback with her words. "You don't even see how combative and rude and completely over-the-top you've been lately. Especially with me." She told him, having the nerve to sound almost hurt with her last statement.
Riley narrowed his eyes at her. "Pick. A damn. Problem." He gritted through his teeth. "Because now I'm confused. Are we talking about the club or are we talking about us? Because it sounds like you're getting things twisted."
"It's a combination." Cindy crossed her arms.
"Oh really?" Riley chuckled unamusedly.
"Yes. And ain't nothin' funny."
"You're right, it's not." Riley's eyes darkened. "I just think it's real interesting you can talk to Jazzy about all your issues with me, but don't have enough of a backbone to talk to me about shit."
Cindy's face pinkened, but her angry expression remained the same. "And I think it's real interesting that you've been talking shit to Tish about me."
Riley remained silent and tried to keep his face straight, but was cursing repeatedly in his head. How the fuck did she know?
"You trippin'." Was all he said, still glaring at her.
"And you're a liar." The look she gave him back was chilling, like she could see straight through him. Reading his thoughts like she already knew the truth. Shit.
"I ain't say nothin' bout you, whatchu scared for? Is that what all this is about? Your dumb-ass beef with Tish?" He challenged, watching her practically bristle in outrage.
"It ain't got nothin' to do with that bitch!" She raised her voice, making Riley raise an eyebrow.
"All this shit you doin' says otherwise. And it's pathetic as fuck. What the hell is your problem with her-"
"I already SAID, my problem ain't with her, it's with YOU!" She cut him off even louder, suddenly up in his face.
"What the fuck did I do then?!" Riley yelled back at her, completely over the back and forth. She didn't back down as she glared up at him silently, her face red. They remained that way for a long length of silence. Cindy was eventually the one to break it, her lip slightly quivering while her voice wavered.
"This isn't working." She spoke, much quieter than she was a moment ago.
"WHAT'S not?" Riley demanded, the edge still very strong in his voice.
Cindy averted her eyes from his, almost timidly while she spoke again. "What we've been doing." Her voice was even quieter, practically meek.
"Spit it out." Riley snapped unsympathetically, done with the bullshit. "Say what you fucking mean."
Cindy's eyes met his again and the fury easily returned to them. "Us. Having sex, Riley." She replied snidely.
Riley felt his blood boil. She could not be serious. "Is that what your bestie advised you?" He asked resentfully, knowing it all traced back to her. Back to them. The fuckers who couldn't mind their damn business.
"What?" Cindy seemed thrown off by that, taking a small step back. "No? It has nothing to do with Jazmine. This is between me and you."
Riley let out another humorless laugh, crossing his arms. "Just between us? That's the last thing it is, sweetheart." He grinned sarcastically, no trace of kindness behind it. "But tell me, I'm curious. Why are things suddenly not working?"
Cindy shook her head slowly, holding her arms as if she was cold. It took her awhile to answer while Riley stared at her impatiently. He was almost ready to snap at her again but she finally answered, though she didn't meet his eyes.
"I'm just… convenient for you, Riley." She said so quietly it almost came out a whisper.
Riley narrowed his eyes unbelievingly. "Bull… SHIT." He said lowly, making Cindy rise her head in surprise at him. But he continued, not caring. "Don't you even try to make me look like the bad guy. Cuz guess what, boo. We're convenient for each other. I didn't push you into this. We both agreed to this situation."
"Well this situation is starting to suck." Cindy retorted, her voice becoming bolder again.
"Yo, I ain't tryna hear that. Maybe it wouldn't suck if you didn't start over-thinking and over-analyzing stupid shit."
Cindy's eyes narrowed, but there was another unreadable look behind them. "Stupid shit like what, feeling like a hoe?"
"Ugh, you ain't no hoe." Riley rolled his eyes hard. "Not even, so stop bein' dramatic!"
"I'm being realistic and honest with myself, Riley." She told him, almost pleadingly. But then she glared, giving him a look again. "I'm sure you have no problem sleeping around with anything with tits and ass, but-"
"And that's what it comes down to." Riley cut her off before she could finish. "It ain't about feeling like a hoe or any of the shit you tryna front about. You just mad cuz you want me all to yourself."
Cindy let out a false bark of laughter in surprise. "Not even close, asshole. I'm mad because I'm tired of feeling like just an option to you."
"9 times out of 10, who's bed do I end up in at the end of the night?" Riley shot back boredly.
"Dammit, that ain't the point, Riley! And it's not good enough." Cindy told him in frustration.
Riley simply rolled his eyes again with the cluck of his tongue. "Tsk. You lookin' a lil needy there, girl. Kinda thirsty."
The daggers Cindy sent him were icy. "…What did you just say to me?"
"I'm just sayin', boo. The entire point of friends with benefits is to keep the options open, to not be tied down to just one body."
Cindy blinked at him. "I'm just a body to you?"
"Don't put words in my mouth." He brushed off. "You should calm the hell down and be really honest with yourself. If you want me, just let me know." He shrugged.
"What?" Cindy asked loudly, her fists starting to ball.
"I mean, you actin' like you want me all to yourself. Don't be shy, ain't nothin' wrong with it. Just tell me so I ain't left in the dark, y'know?" Riley smirked, feeling somewhat entertained. This shit was so stupid.
"What the fuck, Riley? Do you think this is a joke or I'm playin' around with you right now?" Cindy demanded, almost fuming. "I'm being serious!"
"And so am I." Riley replied, not able to keep the condescension out of his voice. It was obvious that Cindy picked up to it by the livid look she gave him.
"Fuck… no, I don't want your ass." She spat lowly, the venom in her voice crystal clear. "The closest thing we're ever gonna be in that way is fuck buddies."
"Ouch." Riley was too far gone to stop now and he knew it.
"The fuck outta here." Cindy shook her head, taking a step back from him as she roughly gestured to the door. "Can't stand your cocky bitch-ass."
"Yeah?" He responded mockingly as he took a large step forward, closing the gap between them again and invading her space. Her eyes showed a hint of intimidation but she remained still. Riley knew he probably was being a jerk at this point, but whatever. She brought this on herself. And she should've really seen it coming. But he continued anyway, feeling the smug smirk emerge on his face.
"That's not what you said the other night." He cooed slowly, false sincerity in his voice as he gently stroked her chin.
Cindy tore her face away from his hand as if he had slapped her. But she looked like she wanted to deck the hell out of him as her face twisted in an instant, turning even redder if possible.
"GET OUT!" She all but screamed, seeming to be way past her limit. Riley wanted to roll his eyes. Good. So was he.
"I'll see you later." He snorted instead, turning his back on her to walk to the door.
"No you fucking won't! We're DONE!" Cindy hollered behind him, the finality in her voice riling his anger again, but he held it in.
He glanced over his shoulder as he opened the door, giving her a look. "Bet."
"Bitch." Cindy hissed. "Leave."
"Later, boo." Riley replied lightly, even supplying a wink as he shut the door closed behind him.
Whatever. She'd get over it. They'd had bad fights like this before. She'd come to him when she was ready. But he'd be damned if he was gonna pacify her stubborn ass or do any further work. She got him confused for another nigga.
Fuck that shit. He didn't have time for that noise. She was a grown-ass woman and needed to act like it.
Somebody needed to mature the fuck up.
Cindy's POV
Don't.
Cindy jolted, her eyes opening and adjusting to the darkness as she tried to catch her breath. After blindly feeling next to her on the spot on her bed, she was reassured to find it empty and released a shaky sigh of relief.
She had just had an awful dream. It had involved Riley of course, which only made it worse. She couldn't remember all of it, just bits and pieces. But the bits and pieces she did remember weren't pleasant. From what she could recall, it mainly involved Riley trying to interact with Cindy, but it was weird. In the dream, the scene kept changing; he was either trying to make a move on her sexually in one scene or was screaming at her in a fight in the next. Throughout the entire dream, she was willing him to stop and for everything to go away. The last thing she could remember was one of the fight scenes of her dream; Riley had gotten so angry that he physically pushed her off the ledge of something, which in turn caused her to wake up.
And now I'm definitely up. Cindy thought to herself with a sigh, her eyes finally adjusting more. She glanced at the clock, almost groaning at how early it was on a Friday. She couldn't stand to think she'd be up in not even a few hours for work. She also couldn't help to think that it had been going on over five days now that her and Riley had last talked… during their last fight.
With a sigh she sat up, holding her head to ward off her oncoming migraine. The memories of her dreams were not making things any easier. The last thing she wanted to think about was him. Apparently her subconscious had other ideas and she didn't know why, especially the last image of him shoving her. That wasn't even realistic. He'd never lay a hand on her, not that she was remotely worried he ever would. Please. Fear no bitch. She almost grinned, thinking about the small script she got on the arch of her left foot, stating those words exactly.
But no. She wasn't afraid of Riley. Pissed more like it, and that was a serious understatement. She hadn't heard from him in days, not that she expected to. And she wasn't about to reach out, not when he was the one who started the disrespectful shit. She didn't play that. She could care less if they didn't speak for the rest of the month, there was no need for that. And he needed to come correct.
He claims to be my best friend though… right. Cindy thought in annoyance, laying herself back down again and closing her eyes tightly. It was whatever at this point. He didn't give a damn so why should she?
She redirected her thoughts again, before she could even go there, and was just starting to will herself back to sleep. She was almost there when she heard a vibration from her phone on the night stand. She opened her eyes in confusion, quickly contemplating whether to wait and look at in the morning but it buzzed again, signaling that it was a phone call and not a text.
Cindy sat up again and picked up her phone. She didn't recognize the number, but did notice that there were already two missed calls in her notifications from the same number. What in the hell?
She answered on the last ring. "Hello?"
"Is this Cynthia McPhearson?" A man's voice answered, but it sounded fuzzy. There was a lot of background noise that muffled him a bit.
"Who's this?" She asked curtly in return. Who the hell was calling her by the government name? She was about to get loud on him when he took too long to answer, but was silenced when the man spoke again… telling him who he was… why he was calling… and what had happened. Cindy listened almost mutely, barely able to process the information before she hung up.
She remained there, phone still in hand as she sat in the dark. Despite herself, despite her past thoughts, her fingers shakily dialed a number on her phone in hopes of an answer as she waited. She felt herself deflate when she came to a voicemail instead. She disconnected the call at once, immediately trying another number. She didn't know what else to do… or feel.
She heard rustling on the other line before a groggy voice spoke. "Hello?" Jazmine answered in a mumble.
Cindy willed herself to speak, but felt her voice catch in her throat and her eyes water involuntarily.
"Hello?" Jazmine asked again, a little more clearly this time. "Cindy?"
Cindy bit her lip so hard it almost bled, forcing the tears down. She would not cry.
"Hellooo?" Jazmine called again before letting out a sigh. "You must've butt-dialed me." She muttered, and there was rustling against the phone again.
"Jazmine," Cindy finally blurted, suddenly fearful she would hang up. Because what then?
"Cin?" She replied, sounding confused. "What's going on? It's almost four in the morning."
"I just got a phone call." Cindy finally felt able to talk, testing the words on her lips. "From an officer."
"Did you get another ticket?" Jazmine asked patiently. "Or another disorderly conduct charge?"
"No… no ticket." She felt her lip quiver, but forced her voice to remain calm.
"Then… what?" Jazmine then asked, almost sounding nervous this time.
"My mother…" Cindy's voice cracked at the last second and she couldn't help it. "She's dead."
One Hour Later
Time seemed to move in slow motion. Or maybe it was going so fast it seemed slow, if that made sense. Or maybe it was a bit of both. Cindy couldn't tell and couldn't make sense of it. All she did know was that Jazmine had made it to her apartment fairly quickly given the distance. She also knew that she was trying to get her to talk. And Cindy was trying, she really was. But it felt like her words were forced. Like Jazmine had to pull them out of her, a rare occurrence almost. Cindy was a known talker in general; not necessarily a private person, didn't believe in taboo shit, and was open with anything and everything as far as her friends. Cindy didn't know why it was like pulling teeth. It was almost like she couldn't process the words coming out of her own mouth, even though they were facts.
A local neighbor had called the police, suspecting that something was wrong within the McPhearson estate after recent strange activities.
The police arrived to search the premises and see if everything was okay.
When they eventually made their way inside, they found her… already deceased, strewn over her bed with unfinished lines of cocaine nearby.
A clear and obvious result of an overdose.
"Cindy." Jazmine asked suddenly, making her jump. Cindy glanced beside her at Jazmine on the couch next to her, now holding her hand. She hadn't even felt her grab it in the first place.
"Have you spoken to your dad?" She asked her quietly, her eyes red as watched her. She had shed several tears since she'd been there. Cindy had yet to cry and wasn't planning to anytime soon.
"Yes." Cindy nodded. "Right before you came. They called him."
"And?"
"I'm gonna meet with him in the morning… or in a few hours I guess to see her. Then we'll go to the funeral home and… start taking care of arrangements." She nodded again, not meeting her eyes.
"Would you like me to come with you… to see her?" Jazmine asked softly.
Cindy was about to respond, instinctively in a polite decline, when an image of her mother in the morgue flashed in her head. The thought alone immediately made her skin crawl and stomach churn.
"Umm… I dunno," Cindy muttered, rising from the couch.
"What's the matter?" Jazmine rose with her right away, staring at her in concern.
"Nothing, I just gotta go to the bathroom. Be right back." She mumbled again, moving quickly through the hallway and into her large bathroom. She shut the door and leaned against it, hoping her body would pace itself. She felt that migraine coming back.
Moving away from the door, she grabbed the sides of the sink and tilted her head down, breathing deeply through her nose. After a few moments, she wearily glanced up into the mirror, taking in her sickly reflection. Her face was completely pale. Her eyes were partially red with dark circles beneath them. Her lips looked dry and cracked in the moment. And despite everything, to Cindy it was like she was staring at a reflection of her mother.
"I said I NEED IT!" Cindy's mother had screamed at the top at her lungs, not even three days ago.
"And I said hell NO!" Cindy shouted right back. "It's not even the first of the month yet! How the hell did you blow through the rest of the money that damn fast?"
"Don't fucking question me in MY damn house!" Her mother bellowed, slamming her hand on the counter in anger. "I. Need. The MONEY."
"You need help." Cindy shook her head in complete disgust. "I ain't givin' you shit. Not again."
"I'm your mother." She hissed seethingly, making Cindy scoff.
"You're pathetic." She shot back. "And a joke. I'm over the mom card. You ain't been a mom to me since ever, don't play yourself."
"Shut UP!" Her mother screamed again, storming around the counter in a slight stagger. She was clearly sloshed again, not that it was new. "I said to HELP me! I'm your fucking mother!"
"Yeah, and I heard you. So now hear me… NO." Cindy enunciated slowly.
"Worthless bitch!" Her mother spat at her, shocking Cindy for once. That was new.
Cindy glared at her in silence for a minute before replying. "At least now I know how you really feel. Not that I hadn't had an inkling before." She turned her back on her to head out of the kitchen, but was surprised again at the sight and sound of the empty wine bottle smashing against the wall nearly a few feet from her. She turned immediately back around in shock, staring at her mother who stood fiercely across from her in rage. If she had been sober and thrown the bottle, she could've easily hit her.
"FUCK YOU!" She screamed at her once more, as if the prior act hadn't been enough.
"AND FUCK YOU TOO THEN!" Cindy screamed back, marching over to her in an instant to get in her face. She was surprised she had kept her cool for as long as she did, but now it was out the window. Her mother seemed to suddenly look intimidated, taking a small step back, but Cindy grabbed her by the arm and pushed her against the refrigerator in place.
"FUCK YOU TOO!" Cindy repeated again, just as loudly in her face. "You hate me? GOOD! Cuz the feeling's mutual! Don't you ever in your life talk to me again! For NOTHIN', I don't give a fuck! I ain't done shit to you but be born, do what I was supposed to do, and try to help your ass the best way I could! But fuck dat, I'm grown now and so are you! I ain't helpin' you with shit and I don't have to! Don't you ask me for shit EVER again! Your ass is dead to me, understand? So fuck… OFF!" Cindy bellowed, pushing away from her harshly.
She took a step backwards, holding her body to distract her hands. Because if her mother was somebody other than her mother, her ass woulda already been beat. And she probably realized that from the way she cowered against the refrigerator, staring at her with a mixture of hatred and fear. Cindy shook her head, glaring at her again as she started to make her way to the exit once again.
"I hope you rot in hell." Was the last thing she uttered to her mother.
Before Cindy knew what was happening, she was on her knees over the toilet bowl, vomiting profusely out of nowhere.
"Cindy?" She heard Jazmine at the door, sounding alarmed.
"Please, don't come-" Cindy tried, but about choked as she was forced to throw up again.
Jazmine clearly ignored her, coming into the bathroom anyway. She immediately rushed over to Cindy, rubbing her back and making sure her hair stayed back away from her face. After what seemed like several bouts and Cindy feeling like she was dying, it stopped. Cindy took the towel Jazmine handed her, wiping her mouth as she flushed, then once she was done she shut the lid closed and rested her forehead against it.
"It's going to be okay." Jazmine whispered, still rubbing her back as she was still kneeled behind her.
"She hated me." Cindy mumbled into the towel that she laid on top of the toilet.
"What?"
"My mom… she hated me." Cindy repeated, raising her head slightly.
"You know that's not true, Cin-"
"That's what she said." She cut her off. "And what's worse…I said it back. I told her to fuck off. I told her to never speak to me again. I told her to… to rot in…." Cindy felt herself breaking as her throat suddenly felt tight. Tears shot to her eyes and she couldn't stop them from overflowing down onto her cheeks.
"Oh Cindy," Jazmine hugged her from behind when she heard her let out a sob, putting her head in her arms to hide her face. "You didn't mean it. Neither of you did."
We both meant it. Cindy thought to herself, not being able to say the words out loud as she cried even harder.
Jazmine allowed Cindy to continue to cry, eventually pulling her into her arms as they remained seated on the floor of the bathroom. After a while, Cindy's sobs started to turn into light sniffles and she felt that it was a little easier to breathe at that point.
"You don't have to stay here all day." She finally spoke raspily, her head still leaning weakly against her body. "I'll have to get ready to meet my dad… to see her."
"I'm here for you, Cindy." Jazmine told her, still stroking her hair. "Anything you need. I'll come with you, if that will make it easier."
Although Cindy wanted to say no, she instead found herself saying yes.
"We should probably get ready then." Cindy finally pulled her head away from Jazmine, rubbing her eyes in exhaustion. When she opened them again, Jazmine was staring at her in concern.
"Have you told Riley?" She came out with it directly.
"I… tried to call him… before I called you." She found herself telling the truth.
"And?"
"He didn't answer." She willed away the prickling sensation behind her eyes and cleared her throat. "Not that I'm surprised." She brushed off haphazardly.
Jazmine continued giving her a look. "You still haven't talked?" She sighed when Cindy shook her head. "He needs to know."
"He can't know if he doesn't want to hear from me."
"Text him." Jazmine insisted. "Just try. Tell him you want to talk." She prodded her gently. "He needs to know."
Cindy shrugged, rubbing at her eyes again. But she nodded. She would try again. But in all honesty, she didn't have much hope. Nothing really mattered at this point.
Jazmine's POV
She was silent as she carefully arranged his tie, her mind lost in thought for the past few hours. It was officially the day of the funeral. Cindy's father had decided that they didn't want to delay it, scheduling it to be two days after her passing on that Sunday. Jazmine was currently at Huey's house as they were about to leave. Caesar had already headed up in his own vehicle. Granddad had already taken Dorothy to pick up Ruckus beforehand because his truck was down, which meant that Jazmine would be driving Huey and herself in one of her parents' cars.
"You know I know how to tie a tie, right?" Huey commented, pulling her out of her thoughts. Jazmine glanced up at him, quickly admiring how handsome he looked in the all-black suit. He had even shaved his face.
"I know." Jazmine nodded, straightening it once she was satisfied. She sighed and stroked down the front of his chest, clearing away any stray wrinkles.
"You look beautiful." He added, and she knew for sure he was trying to divert her thoughts. Regardless, she tried to give him a brief smile. She wore a simple black pleated dress and black wedges, her hair up in a large bun and very minimal makeup. She knew she was going to cry. Especially if Cindy started.
"Please Huey." Jazmine was suddenly serious, looking at him intently. "I'm asking you. Please. Be nice to her?"
Huey blinked at her as he seemed to hold back a sigh, but surprisingly had a patient look of understanding in his eyes while he nodded. Jazmine kissed him gently on the lips. "Thank you. Are you ready?"
"After you."
He followed her to the SUV where she got in the driver's side, beginning to adjust the seat and mirrors to her preferences. While she did that, she connected her phone to Bluetooth and dialed Cindy's cellphone. After a few rings, she finally answered.
"Hey Jazz." Cindy greeted, her voice quiet.
"Hi Cin." Jazmine replied gently, beginning to pull away from the curb. "Huey and I are on the way now."
"Okay. I gave you the address of the church right?"
"Yes, I already have it in the GPS. We should be there within twenty minutes."
"Sounds good. I'll see you guys soon."
"Okay. But um, Cindy?" Jazmine spoke quickly, alerting Huey as he glanced in her direction suspiciously.
"Yeah?"
"I was just… I'm just curious." She said slowly, avoiding the heat from Huey's stare. "Is he coming?" She asked softly.
"I wouldn't know." Cindy's answer was blunt, making both Jazmine and Huey glance at each other in confusion.
"What do you mean?" Jazmine asked. "I thought you tried to contact him again."
"I did. At least six separate times. And I never heard back." Cindy replied indifferently.
Jazmine made eye contact with Huey again, this time her expression blank but Huey seemed to read right through her, slightly narrowing his eyes. Jazmine faced the road again before clearing her throat.
"I'm sorry Cindy." She said, composed.
"It's whatever. I'll see y'all soon."
"Okay… bye." Jazmine said before disconnecting the call. She felt Huey's eyes on her steadily but didn't glance in his direction or say anything as she drove the car down the road.
It wasn't until Huey finally spoke. "Jazmine… don't do i-"
He wasn't able to finish his sentence as Jazmine ignored him, making a wild and sudden U-turn in the middle of the road.
"Shit." Huey muttered, holding onto the assist handle above his door as he glared at her. Jazmine ignored him, knowing she was slightly speeding as she raced back down the way she came.
It was absolutely ridiculous. Cindy hadn't heard from him for the past two days? Not even counting the several days before that when they got into their initial fight that Cindy told her about. It was now going on a week. It was unacceptable; this was way bigger than some petty argument. Clearly if she was reaching out to him repeatedly, it was important. Even Huey had tried stopping down to see him the other day but his car wasn't in the lot. He was really avoiding them.
He was damn sure going to listen to them now.
Jazmine whipped into the gravelly parking lot, barely putting the car into park before she hopped out and locked the door, dashing to the apartment's entrance.
"Dammit Jazmine!" Huey called out in frustration, as he must've tried to open his door after she had already hit the lock button, halting him momentarily. Jazmine was glad and had done that on purpose. She had to get to Riley first before Huey tried to stop her or try to control the situation. It was not about to go down like that.
Jazmine raced to Riley's door and immediately starting banging repeatedly over and over, knowing Huey was probably right behind her. But Jazmine didn't care. She saw his car in the lot and knew he was home, which meant he was going to answer the damn door before she broke it down.
"Jazmine!" Huey called after her again, now jogging lightly down the hall. "What the hell?"
"HE'S GOING TO OPEN THIS DOOR, THAT'S WHAT!" Jazmine told him loudly, banging even harder. For some reason, it seemed to work as she heard the sound of the door unlocking, right before it was pulled open.
"Yo, who the fuck is—oof!" Riley was cut off as Jazmine literally shoved him inside his apartment, Huey following right behind and shutting the door behind them.
"Have you talked to Cindy?!" Jazmine demanded, pushing him lightly again as she was in his face. He looked like he just woke up, in nothing but a raggedy beater and sweatpants. The confused look he gave instantly turned to hate.
"You've gotta be fuckin' kidding me right now, man!" He bellowed, glaring from her to Huey. "Are y'all seriously here to do her work for her?"
"Riley," Huey narrowed his eyes at him but Riley snickered and continued.
"Lemme guess, this is what she told you: 'Guysss, Reezy's bein' soo mean! I'm too much of a lil bitch to talk to him myself! But since y'all have your hands so far up my ass, maybe you can just-'"
SLAP.
Jazmine smacked him so hard her hand stung immediately, making him fall a step back at both the jolt and in surprise. Jazmine didn't even give him time to speak as she saw his mouth start to open in outrage.
"Shut UP!" She shouted before he could get a word in. "This has nothing to do with you! Cindy's mother is DEAD!"
The furious expression Riley previously wore seemed to melt away as he stared at her. Then he glanced down at her outfit, then over at Huey, as if he were taking them in for the first time.
"…What?" He asked, seeming stunned.
"She's been trying to get ahold of you for days." Jazmine retorted, ignoring the question. "So maybe you should actually talk to her. But until then, I suggest you get a damn shower and put on a suit or any clean pair of black clothes you own, I don't care. The funeral is in a half hour at 818 Orchard Lane downtown. So get ready, get dressed, and get to the church NOW." She demanded warningly, not taking her eyes from him. He stared at her in silence, almost meekly before he provided a small nod. Jazmine didn't lose her glare.
"Let's go, Huey." She ordered, turning away from Riley and striding to the door. Huey quickly opened it, allowing her to stomp through without looking back. She did notice that Huey seemed to hesitate, giving a slight glance towards Riley. She didn't care and she didn't slow down. She hoped Riley was slightly scared. Hell, she hoped Huey was a little uneasy and would put it in his brother's head that he should be wary.
Jazmine was not joking. She dared him not to show up.
Riley's POV
I look like shit. Riley thought to himself as started to head for the steps of the church after locking his car. He could hear music playing from the outside and knew he was already late. Not to mention he didn't even have a real suit; the last time he had worn one was for a distant uncle's funeral back when he was 15, so of course he had outgrew it and had never bothered to get a new one. He was regretting that decision now, feeling out of place in a wrinkled black pinstripe button-down and the blackest jeans he owned.
Riley sighed as entered the doors, definitely regretting it. The first thing he saw was a handful of ushers, each with high-end suits that immediately made his outfit look like trash. Their judging glances affirmed that.
"Sign the guest book, sir?" One of them asked, offering it to him while "subtly" scanning him over. What, did he look like he was gonna rob the place?
He rolled his eyes and quickly scribbled his initials before stepping past him towards the doors. The other two ushers practically jumped in front of him to reach the handles before he could, pulling the double doors open with a flourish.
Shit. Riley cursed to himself, suddenly feeling in the thick of it. And it was obviously too late to turn around now. The room was larger than he expected and filled with people sitting in pews, definitely a lot more people than he expected. At the front of the room there was a woman singing and Riley felt thankful; there were no eyes on him as he quickly slunk into an empty seat in the last row. He glanced around again and quickly spotted the hair of his brother, Jazmine, and Caesar only a few rows up from him on the other side of the aisle. He had texted Jazmine when he was on the way but she had never replied to him, not that he thought she would. He wondered if he had told Cindy he was coming though.
Riley switched his focus away from them and towards the front row, looking for her. He found her easily, even though her hair was pulled up into a neat updo. She was clearly sitting next to her father who had an arm not around her, but around his new wife apparently. Riley glared at that, still watching Cindy. If he squinted hard enough, it looked like her shoulders were trembling. And though he couldn't see her face, he could tell that her head was solely fixated on the closed black casket just a few feet in front of her. It was donned by a large arrangement of flowers while candles were set up in a row beside it.
The sound of light clapping drew Riley's attention back as he realized that the woman had ended her song. As she moved back to her seat, a man who Riley guessed was probably the pastor started to walk onto the stage. Riley noticed a spare program on the pew beside him and quickly opened it, scanning down the order of service.
"Thank you, Audrey. That was beautiful." He said as he placed his glasses onto his face. Riley noticed on the guide that there was a line that read "Audrey's Tribute." They were officially at the halfway mark of the service.
"As of now," The pastor spoke again. "We'd like to allot for a time of reflection. If anyone has any kind words they'd like to say about Lizette McPhearson, they may come up and do so. We'll start with any friends or relatives and end with the immediate family. The floor is now yours." He nodded, gesturing to the stage.
Riley watched in surprise as several people did in fact have things to say. However, it was almost pathetic how superficial their relationship was with their so-called "friend." Some woman had commented that she was always there to go shopping with. Somebody else said she always threw the best parties. Some flake-ass girl said that they had been pageant friends (yeah right) several years ago and that it had been nice to meet her… and then stepped off the stage! Riley almost held his breath, praying that there wasn't one more of her "friends" that wanted to speak on her behalf.
"And now for the family." The pastor gently prodded.
Nobody moved.
Daaamnn. Riley cringed, the awkwardness deafening in the room. He stared at the front of the room in shock. Cindy's father stayed rooted in his seat and from Riley's position he could see why. His new wife was staring him down, practically daring him to stand up. Two girls that looked to be close to Cindy's age sat beside her, picking idly at their nails. Riley glanced around and didn't see anyone else in that row or behind them. He knew that Cindy's grandparents had died awhile back, but he swore her mom had brothers and sisters. Did they for real just not show up?
This is so fucked up.
"Well…" The pastor spoke timidly, clearing his throat in between. "We all know it is a painful thing. And perhaps it's too soon, which is completely understandable. Um, next we will have-"
"I'll say something."
Riley's eyes darted to Cindy as she rose from her seat. Her voice had been extremely quiet, but audible from the tense silence in the room. She climbed the steps slowly, her back to the crowd as she took her time. When she finally reached the podium and turned to face the audience, Riley took a breath at the familiar feeling of pain suddenly itching inside him.
He had never seen such a hurt and broken expression on Cindy's face before. She barely looked like herself. She just looked… shattered.
"My mother wasn't perfect." She stated suddenly, staring down at the podium as she calmly spoke. Her voice sounded fragile. He could tell she was trying so hard to keep it together with every word. "Not at all… not even close. But she was still… still my mom." She paused to take a shaky breath, and Riley swallowed down a knot in his throat.
"And I'm not a perfect daughter," She continued, quickly swiping beneath her right eye. "Never was, never will be. Our relationship was… strained at best. And there's so much we never agreed on… never resolved… never apologized for-" The fragileness finally cracked on her last word as she raised her hand to her mouth, choking back a sob as the tears starting pouring down.
"And I'm so sorry," She cried loudly, almost pleadingly as she held onto the podium for support. "I'm sorry I couldn't be the daughter you wanted me to be. I'm sorry that I couldn't do more for you like you wanted. I'm sorry I didn't help you the way I should've. And I'm sorry… so sorry for how we ended. I can never take it back and I'm just so… so…." Her words trailed off as she couldn't even speak anymore, breaking down uncontrollably as she stood there and sobbed.
Riley's feet were moving on his own as he found himself sliding out of his seat, speed-walking towards a side exit door he noticed near the back, slipping out and ending alone in an empty hallway, thankfully free from ushers. He leaned against the door, both hands gripping his braids as his eyes were shut forcibly. He wanted to scream. He wanted to punch something, anything. He wanted, needed, to get away from everything that was bringing him back to the feeling he felt all those years ago.
He forced the lump in his throat down so hard it felt raw. His eyes moistened even though they were closed and he didn't dare open them. He couldn't escape the memories or the feelings that came swarming back to him.
Especially when he looked at Cindy, who mirrored every pain he'd ever felt about his parents.
Two Hours Later
Riley sat outside her door, staring at the wall in front of him as he waited. He'd been in the same spot for a while now, surprisingly patient. He would wait all night if he had to. He knew it wouldn't be too long now that she'd be home… hopefully.
He had left soon after he escaped into the hallway. He couldn't stand to be inside that church for another minute. Not while he stared at Cindy breaking down in front of him. He just couldn't. It literally made him hurt, watching her cry like that. Especially since he knew exactly what she was feeling, where her mind was going, and understanding completely that feeling of hopelessness… that there was nothing she could ever do to change anything.
He still had no idea what would happen when she arrived to find him here. She could demand him to leave on sight… and he wouldn't blame her. He felt so much guilt, but he knew he deserved it. He had fucked up, big time. And he had went way overboard. There was no denying that. He just hoped she'd hear him out.
Riley's head snapped up when he heard the elevator ding. He scrambled to his feet, knowing that there'd only be one person stopping on this floor and he was right.
The doors opened to reveal Cindy at the opposite end of the hall, heels and purse in one hand as she wearily exited the elevator. Regardless, she still looked classy and sophisticated in her black pencil dress. She halted in her steps when she noticed Riley at the other end of the hallway. Her body stiffened but her face didn't change from its worn expression. The updo bun was now loose, strands falling around her face. Her face was patchy and her eyes were red. She stared at him in silence and Riley felt his mouth go dry again.
"Hi." He spoke, feeling foolish as he slid his hands into his pockets nervously.
"I had thought that was you." She replied instead, confusing him.
"You saw me?"
"You signed the book. I saw your initials." She explained quietly, still making no move to walk closer.
"I… didn't think you'd know." He answered lamely.
"What other R.F. do I know?" She stated plainly, just staring at him. "You didn't want me to know you came?"
"No… not that…. You know I had to come, C."
"Why?" She shot back instantly, but her voice never changed its tone. "You ain't been talkin' to me, I ain't been talkin' to you."
"Because it's different." Riley gave her a look, choosing to take a careful step closer.
"Why?" She demanded again, a slight edge creeping into her voice. "Ain't shit changed, right? You still mad, I'm still mad, and we both just gonna stay mad-"
"Cindy, drop it." Riley told her gently, still moving closer.
"WHY?" She snapped, raising her voice suddenly. "I don't have to drop anything! Why the hell should I? Huh? Answer me that!"
"Because." Riley's voice was quiet, now in front of her. "I care. And I hurt you. And I'm sorry."
Cindy let out a small scoff, but it didn't reach her eyes as she looked away from him. "Please. You don't care about me. Nobody does. Fuck apologies." She mumbled the last part, still looking away from him with glassy eyes. Riley carefully turned her face so she'd look at him, willing away the painful feeling in his chest again.
"I'm so sorry." His voice was barely above a whisper as he stared at her in sadness.
Cindy stared back at him, her stoic expression cracking as she slowly started to shake her head. "I will never… get a chance to tell her I'm sorry."
"It's okay." Riley said, rubbing her cheek.
"I told her I hated her." Cindy's voice cracked and her eyes watered even more.
"You didn't mean it." He felt the lump rise regardless.
"What if I did this to her? She could be gone because of me… because I'm the shitty daughter who barely was even a daughter to her." She broke as tears started to fall and Riley immediately pulled her softly against him by the back of her head, lightly pushing the items out of her hand to drop to the floor.
"That's not true. Don't tell yourself that." Riley shook his head, holding her tightly to him.
"She OD'd. On cocaine. Alone in her house by herself." Cindy wept, making Riley's eyes widen in surprise. He knew that her mother had to have been a user, but damn. This was his first time hearing that information.
"You didn't cause this, Cindy. Don't believe that." He assured her.
"Why does it feel like I did?"
Riley closed his eyes, breathing deeply through his nose. "My parents died so me and Huey could live."
Cindy's body tensed in his arms as he expected. He continued as if he told her the story before, even though he never had for as long as they knew each other. "They weren't perfect people either. To us, well me especially, they were my heroes. Not to everyone else though."
"…What were they to everyone else?" Cindy asked quietly, her face still against his body.
"Criminals." Riley revealed evenly, his voice low. "Hustlers. Gangbangers. Real niggas."
Cindy pulled back slightly to glance up at him, surprise written all over her tear-stained face. "Both of them?"
"Both." He nodded, deep in thought. "They ain't do it just for fun though. They were trying to pay for a way out the hood. For us."
"Really?"
Riley nodded again. "They didn't start there. They'd tried other ways of making money and getting help, but kept fallin' short. So they came up with a new plan. And they weren't scared of nothin' man, especially my dad. He was a real do-what-it-takes, whatever-means-necessary kinda nigga. And my mom, yo. She was so smart. Could figure out a way around anything. They made the perfect team and came up quick with more than enough money for us to get the hell out."
"What happened?" Cindy's voice suddenly got quieter in the silent hallway.
Riley drew his eyes away from her, a grimace taking over his face as he felt that feeling again. "What do you think?" He asked her simply instead.
"Once you're in..." She answered her own question. Riley could feel her eyes on him carefully, but he still couldn't meet them.
"They were so close." He shook his head, staring out into space as his thoughts escalated. "So fucking close. We were going to move within the week on the low. Get as far away from the city as possible. They were gonna start a new life and leave their past behind them. But… that ain't happen... cuz of me."
"What?" Cindy exclaimed. She didn't wait for an answer as she reached up and directed his face back to hers so he'd look her in the eye. "What?" She asked again, softer this time but still just as incredulous.
"It was my fault." Riley didn't break eye contact, trying not to blink as he felt that sensation behind his eyes and his throat felt itchy. "Me and Huey were home the night they raided our house to… end our parents." He cleared his throat after deciding on his word choice. "The thugs ain't even know that they were parents before then. Our mom and dad had told us to stay in our room when they heard them bust in, right before goin' down to take care of them. But if I hadn't have watched… if I wouldn't have screamed… they wouldn't have heard me… they wouldn't have tried to make it to us… and my moms wouldn't have taken a bullet."
Tears were rolling down Cindy's face now, making it harder for Riley to keep it together as he swallowed and turned away, rubbing at his eyes. "My dad came in right behind her," He continued, his voice cracking a bit. "Before the last guy got to me and Huey. He took care of him fast, but couldn't escape the bullet wound either. He managed to call for help… dialed Granddad before… 'fore he bled out." Riley finished, getting the same sickening feeling he always did when he replayed the scene over and over in his head. It was exactly why no one in their family ever brought it up or told anyone ever.
"I'm so sorry." Cindy whispered, her arms around his body as she pulled him back to look at her again. Riley stared at her, watching the tears continue to fall as he shook his head. He gently wiped hers away, hoping that he didn't have any revealing marks on his face. He shrugged, trying to put on a brave face for her.
"Life fucking sucks. And ain't nothin' in this life fair." He told her quietly, stroking her hair that had now fallen completely down. "It is what it is… but you got me. I'm here for you in this life. And I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me as your friend. I messed up… on so many levels… and I crossed a line, C." He paused for a moment, looking seriously into her sad eyes.
"I really am sorry. For everything." He told her, unable to keep the hurt out of his voice or his eyes. Cindy's lip trembled as she looked up at him, shaking her head before pulling herself back against him, this time hugging him back.
"I'm sorry too." She whispered against his chest.
Did she really just do that…..?
She really just did that.
Hit or miss? Too far or not far enough? Like I said, I debated this chapter and the event with Cindy soooo muchhh. Let me know your honest thoughts :)
Disclaimers: Meh. I don't own nothin'.
Again, thanks so much to clockwork'sFinest and her help for the scene with Ming. She bodiessss her, I'm telling you. She is Ming and Ming is her, I swear. AND for inspiration for the last scene/backstory with Riley. Guys... I completelyyy revamped the ending cuz I didn't like it and added that lil origin story into the mix XD
Question for the Readers: This question was brought to my attention from The Black Legend and I wanted some more input about it from last chapter (if y'all can even think about it, it's been so long AND now you're reeling from the drama in this one)…
Was Huey too cold last chapter when he went to confront Riley alone? Did he pick a side? I'd love to hear more feedback that and I can give you all my spin on it in the following chapter if it becomes a thing lol :)
As always, thanks so much for reading, I love you all sooo much, and I'll see you guys next time but on the sequel side: From Uncle Reezy, To Daddy Reezy.
Returning soon... as soon as I can :)
~Schweetie