Bella dragged her husband into their bedroom once they were back home and shoved him onto the bed.
'What was that about? Ooh, Callie, you're so nice, ooh I love you Callie, I want you…' she hit him with her wand. 'You're pathetic, you know that? You made a fool of both of us!'
She marched up and down in front of him, lecturing him on the ways of the death Eaters.
'You've got to stop this fixation you have with her…she's boring and sensible for goodness sake, and how do you expect the Dark Lord to let us do all the cool, dirty stuff if you're ruttin' on his wife?'
'I'm not rut-'
'Shut up! Do I look like I'm finished? The Dark Lord's biatch said they're coming up with a new plan or something…big news…and I intend to be involved! I will be like totally his favourite…hehe…I even had these made.' She pulled out some leaflets from a drawer of her wardrobe, saying 'GO VOLDY' and 'DEATH EATERS RULE'. Rodolphus picked up one and frowned. There was a detailed picture of Bella torturing a Muggle, which she had made him take. The Muggle was writhing in pain, while Bella had her arm round them, smiling broadly, and pointing.
'Bella, I think you need help…'
She looked up from the Muggle voodoo doll she was ripping the head from. 'Why?'
Narcissa was filing her nails when Lucius walked in, with one towel wrapped around his waist and another around his head. He gently massaged his hair with the towel before looking at it critically in the full-length mirror of their bedroom.
'I'm thinking of dying my hair, do you think white blonde is out this season? How about black, if we're to have these new outfits?'
'Oh no darling, definitely not, it would completely clash with your delicate skin colour…'
'True, true, oh you know Narcissa these uniforms are all I can think about at the moment, if they don't look just right I will just die!' he ran a finger across his forehead. 'See? I'm sure that wrinkle wasn't there yesterday…they're worry lines Cissy. Oh! Dear! God! What if I have to get botox again? Needles…' he shuddered. 'Ooh, they give me the oogie boogies!'
He padded back into their en suite bathroom, still muttering. Narcissa frowned. She had had botox many times, just to keep up her appearance enough for Lucius to stay with her. She was aging faster than him, the curse of a woman she knew, but if she ever let her guard down and he saw a wrinkle line on her head, he would up and leave her straight away. She needed something to keep him there, but what?
'Lucius, what do you think about getting a pet?'
He stormed out of the bathroom, blusher in hand, looking horrified.
'A pet? One of those things that spread germs and disease, and worse, they RIP UP YOUR CLOTHES! My goodness Narcissa what are you thinking of…though…' he pondered. 'Lord V has a snake doesn't he, and that causes him no trouble…I was talking to him and apparently you only need to feed them like once a week…and you can do that can't you? Ok, if you want a pet so badly, a snake it is.'
He finished applying his blusher and put some mascara on. 'Aren't you putting some make up on Cissy, you look a bit pale.'
'Lucius, we're going to bed.'
'I know, but who knows who you might meet during the night, god Narcissa you really need to start thinking about your appearance more. Goodnight.' He got into bed and slept, leaving Narcissa shaking her head sadly.
'Tom, can you please, please please put the toilet seat up next time you go? I'm fed up of having to wipe your stains off before I can use it, and while we're on that subject, learn to aim! Only this morning I filled up 3 cloths wiping your mess off the walls.'
Voldy sniggered, pleased with himself, and changed the TV channel. Nothing was on, so he watched a shopping channel.
'Wow, I need to get me a poker table…HEY CALLIE, CAN WE GET A POKER TABLE?'
'No, Tom, we can't. I bought you that snooker table you so badly wanted at Christmas and you never use it.'
'That's because you never want to play, and Lucius got scared when the blue chalk came of on his fingers…'
'Invite Roddy round, then. You and Lucius always leave him out.'
'That's because he's a twat…and you know he lets Bellatrix run his life…she tells him to do everything, it's so funny.'
Callie stared at him, incredulously. 'What do you think goes on here?'
'Yeah but he listens to her.'
Callie clicked her tongue and marched out.