Centurion Summerbonus was thinking about higher things and snoring his head off in the process. He was so deep in thought that he failed to notice his decurion, Dieselpumpus, enter his tent and salute him. When he eventually realised that there was someone else in the tent as well, he stood up and saluted back before reclining into his seat again.

"The patrol's back" reported the decurion, "and is due for inspection!"

Summerbonus yawned, scratched himself and left his tent.

"By Jupiter" he exclaimed, looking at the patrol, "What in the name of Mars happened to you lot?"

"We were outnumbered!" replied the first soldier

"Outnumbered?" queried the second, "I don't think you can say that!"

"All I remember is a blur of red and black," said the third

"And a very small blur at that!" said the fourth

Summerbonus ripped a piece from his tent in sheer desperation and turned to his decurion. "We've been laying siege to these Gauls for years now and every time they get the better of us. I need to know why! Get me the spy division!"

"Spy division?" asked Dieselpumpus, "What spy division?"

"The entire garrison!" shouted Summerbonus, "and on the double!"