Rating: NC17
Beta:Melly- moo! pets beta melanie39.
Pairing: Ryan/Missy.
Disclaimer: I don't own The OC, Ryan or Benjamin McKenzie.
Set: AU humor/smut with a hint of plot.
Nothing Says I Love You Quite Like a Vasectomy
Chapter 5
No matter how hard Ryan tried to put everything to the back of his mind he couldn't quite pull it off. He was fine all the time he had Danny to distract him. He and Missy took Danny on trips to the movies, they went skating in the local park (at Danny's insistence), and they even managed to fit in a couple of trips to the carting circuit out of town. They had fun all the time they were busy. It was when they were alone that trouble hit. Ryan could feel a wedge being driven between him and Missy and he knew that he was the one to blame. He hated seeing the confused look on her face as he answered her pleas for any type of conversion with one word grunts and even though he knew how much he was hurting her he couldn't stop himself. He was always the same when things weighed on his mind and he knew it would only get worse if he didn't confront what he was feeling. That last bit of advice was care of his shrink who kept telling him to open up when he was feeling backed into a corner instead of retreating further into the shadows, but that was easier said than done, thank you Freud.
Becky's mom obviously could sense that something was going on with them. Even if Danny was oblivious she wasn't - and no matter how many times Ryan had tried to put her mind at rest that things were great between him and Missy he could see that she wasn't quite buying it. He supposed that the deathly silences that descended on them of an evening when Danny had eventually been led kicking and screaming up to bed told a tale, as did the heavy sighs and the way that he had been avoiding Missy's eye as much as he could. He had even shunned sneaking into her room at night as his sex drive had diminished as his anxiety levels had grown. The thing was, he was freaked; there was no two ways about it. He was fucking scared at what he'd seen from the bathroom doorway. The way Missy had looked as she gazed at herself in that mirror seemed so natural and somehow right for her, but as much as he tried to get his head around it – it was wrong for him right now. He wasn't ready at all and he had never felt the gap in their ages as much as he did right now. He was eighteen, Missy was twenty-three and those five years obviously counted. He knew nothing about the so called biological clocks that the glossy women's magazines he'd seen Missy reading kept going on about, all he did know was that in his eyes they were too young and they both had way too much baggage to allow them to undertake having a baby lightly. They had already discussed this once, in depth, but Ryan was twitchy now that things seemed to have changed. He had convinced himself that Missy was pregnant and that she had already made up her mind that she was keeping the baby no matter what. Who was he to try to change her mind if that was what she really wanted?
He'd spent another sleepless night tossing and turning on the small single put up bed that Mrs Roberts had put up for him in the den. He'd watched the sun come up again and was washed and dressed two hours before the rest of the house stirred. It was their last day and as much as he loved spending time with Danny he was looking forward to leaving. He was flipping bacon when Becky's mom came downstairs wrapping her robe around herself to ward off the imaginary cold chill of the morning air.
"Morning." He concentrated on the contents of the pan.
"I feel like a bad hostess, this is the third time this week that you have been up before me cooking breakfast," she replied.
"Sorry, Mrs Roberts…"
He caught the disapproving look she gave him but he still didn't feel comfortable being on a first name basis with her. "Sorry… Jean…I should have asked if you minded. I'm used to being the first one up, I like the time alone to…." He trailed off.
"Alone to think?" She stood beside him. "That is what you were going to say wasn't it?'
He gave her a half smile. "Yeah, the morning is when things are clearest."
"Ryan, I don't mean to pry but would any of this thinking you've been doing have anything to do with the pregnancy testing kit I saw on top of Melissa's suitcase when you arrived?"
Ryan swallowed hard and could feel his face flush. He was still young enough to feel like a kid who had just been caught by an adult with his hand in the penny jar.
"Your face says it all, Ryan. Don't look so shocked; I was young once you know." She pulled the pan off the heat and guided him away from the stove. "Breakfast can wait."
Ryan sat at the table and looked down at his hands, picking at the cuticle on his thumb.
"So I take it from your less than happy face she has done the test and it's not the result you were hoping for?" Her voice rose as she questioned.
Ryan bit his lip and stopped working the skin around his thumb.
"No, we decided to wait until the trip was over to see if I've got her… if she is…" Why did he feel like he was sat in front of the dean at school and was just about to be given detention?
"Pregnant?" She finished his sentence for him. "I can see from your face that the prospect is not altogether a happy one." She rested her hand lightly on his arm and it felt good, that one gesture telling him that she didn't think he was as heartless as he himself felt he was being. And then it all came pouring out; all his fears and worries that he would not be a good father no matter what Missy thought - apples and trees – and the powerful urge to make something of his life and that meant college and qualifications and hard work, not diapers and sleepless nights. It felt good to open up to someone at last and it was a relief to talk to someone who didn't lecture him on how irresponsible he'd been.
She just listened.
It felt good. He sat back and looked at Mrs Roberts when he'd finished. She seemed to be thinking hard.
'Ryan, I can't tell you what to do. Only the two of you can decide that. What I will tell you is that although my daughter loved Danny more than anything I think a part of her resented the loss of her dreams that came with that responsibility. And when she left his father she found it hard to get her life back on track. I think it hit her just how many years the role of a parent lasts." She gave him a sad smile. "You'll both have to be prepared to be parents 24/7 for at least the next eighteen years, and even when your child has become an adult it doesn't stop there. You never stop caring. It's the biggest undertaking you'll ever have to make. So if you really feel like you're not ready then you have to tell her. It's not fair on her. And please, don't do what you think is right because you think you should. It'll only lead to heartache, trust me. Think about it long and hard, Ryan."
Ryan nodded.
"You know where I am if you want to talk more."
Mrs Roberts was throwing them a lunchtime farewell cookout; neighbors, members of her book club and all the knitting circle were invited. Ryan did some serious thinking as he helped set up, he did nothing but. Missy was in the kitchen cooking pies with Danny to keep him occupied and Ryan was thankful that it gave him the time he needed to process all the thoughts racing around in his head. After two hours of mowing grass and setting out chairs he'd made up his mind. He needed to speak to Missy, but with people already starting to arrive it would have to wait until later.
It was the usual affair, people milling around, catching up and eating too much potato salad. Ryan found himself in charge of the grill and had no escape whenever Becky's mom brought over people to introduce them. He felt awkward that they wanted to talk to him about Becky and how sad the situation was. It still felt strange to be talking about her in the past tense and Ryan felt himself floundering. He'd caught Missy's eye across the garden and she'd answered his silent plea. She had come over and rescued him. Missy could talk the hind leg off of a donkey and she took over, leaving Ryan free to flip burgers and withdraw from the awkwardness of the situation. He put his arm around Missy's waist and pulled her close and the look of relief she gave was not lost on him. He gave her what he hoped was an apologetic smile. It was the least he could do after shutting her out the past few days. He felt the ice melt between them and it felt good.
With everyone fed Ryan could at last step away from his chef-ing duties. He found a seat next to Missy and listened to Danny as he told the gathered group all about his part in a recent school play. Becky's mom looked on with a huge smile on her face even though she must have heard the tale many times before. As Danny's arms began to windmill as he told of scenery malfunction Ryan heard a sound that made his stomach flip. Missy heard it too and she turned her head in its direction, as did he. Ryan saw a young girl jiggling a baby against her chest to try and calm the rising cries that emanated from its small but powerful lungs. Ryan hadn't noticed the girl or baby before, she must have only just arrived and by the harassed look on her face she didn't really want to be here. Ryan turned back to Missy and leaned in as he spoke.
"Let's get out of here."
She nodded and followed as he got up. Becky's mom gave him a look. Ryan thought she probably knew what was on both of their minds as they left the gathering, he'd seen her watch both of them as the baby had started to cry and Ryan caught her nodded approval as they left. Ryan led Missy inside and up the stairs, into her room. Missy shut the door behind her and stood in front of him looking uncertain. Ryan took a deep breath.
'I know we said we'd wait until we got home but I can't.' Ryan reached out and held her hand. 'I'm sorry. I've got to know.'
Ryan watched as Missy looked at the floor. Eventually she looked up into his eyes.
"If only you knew how many times I've sat on the end of my bed with that test in my hand ….I guess I'm ready to know now too."
Ryan let out the deep gulp of air in his lungs as Missy went to her suitcase and took out a test. She went into the bathroom and he sat down on the end of the bed. After what seemed like an hour Missy opened the door and joined him. She held the plastic wand in her hand and stared at it.
"How long?" Ryan asked.
"Three minutes more, then we'll know. One line I'm not…. two and I am."
They sat in silence. Ryan chose to stare at the wall whilst Missy stayed focused on the test. Ryan never figured that time could actually stand still but he was sure that's what happened. He tried not to look at his watch and stayed looking at the print of a field of poppies that hung on the wall opposite. He physically jumped when Missy spoke.
"One line."
One line? Ryan stared at Missy and tried to think what she'd said about the lines. Did it mean she was, he scanned her face and watched as a huge beam slowly appeared there. Oh shit…one line must mean she was pregnant.
"One line, Ryan…. I'm not pregnant!" She flung her arms around him. " I'm not pregnant! Thank God."
Not pregnant? His arms went around her shoulders automatically as his brain whirred. Not pregnant?
"God, I was so scared." She broke away from him and looked at the slim plastic wand again, then back at him. Her face fell.
"Ryan, I'm sorry…" She bit her lip. "I'm just not ready for a baby now…"
Ryan put his head in his hands.
"Ryan?"
Ryan lifted his head.
"You're not pregnant?"
"No. I thought you'd be pleased." Missy said, confused.
"You don't know how pleased." Ryan couldn't quite believe it. "You sure?"
"See?" She waved the stick in front of him. He took it and saw the single blue line. One for no…. two for yes. He smiled and hugged Missy, enthusiastically this time now his brain had caught up. He was not going to be a father…someone was looking out for him for a change. He couldn't quite believe that they had dodged the bullet. He squeezed Missy harder.
"But I thought you wanted it." He eventually spoke into her hair. Missy pulled away from him and looked at him like he was a lunatic.
"What?" she squawked.
"I thought you wanted to keep it. That's why I've been freaking out the past few days Missy. I'd convinced myself that you were pregnant and that you'd made up your mind to keep it. I had built up the courage to tell you that I didn't want that. I was scared shitless that I'd lose you over it but I just wasn't ready."
"I know that we talked about it like it was a fantasy, and it was fun. You, me the two point four children, a white picket fence and all but that was it…a fantasy. The reality scared the hell outta me Ryan. I thought you knew that?"
"But I saw you…" Ryan choked out.
"Saw me what?"
"You had a pillow up your top and you looked so … I don't know…so happy."
Missy burst out laughing.
"Okay; now I'm embarrassed. I was um…having a little fantasy. You were behind me stroking my stomach and telling me how much you liked me all fat and round. I don't think I need to tell you how it ended in my head!" Missy grinned. "I liked…no loved the idea of having your baby Ryan, but there is no way that I'm ready for that yet…no way. Where would we live? What would we live on? You'd have to give up college, I'd have to give up work eventually…no way are we ready for all that." Missy shook her head. "Is that why you've been so uptight and pissy…you thought I'd changed my mind without talking to you about it?"
Ryan scrunched up his face. "Yeah." he admitted.
Missy picked up one of the pillows from the bed and hit him hard.
"You're an idiot, Atwood, you know that. You think I'd do that to you?'
Ryan picked up a pillow of his own and struck back.
"I was under a little bit of pressure. Made me think things."
"Idiot…you were under pressure? What about me?" she hit back, catching him hard on the side of the head.
"Hey!"
They were soon in the middle of a pillow war, thumping each other and yelling. Missy sat straddling Ryan with her own pillow raised when the door opened. Mrs Roberts stood with an amused look on her face. Missy lowered her weapon and hurriedly scrambled off Ryan.
"I thought I'd better check on you both, it sounds like you were killing each other from outside."
"Sorry." Ryan sat up and smoothed down his shirt.
"No, don't apologize. Nice to see you both more relaxed. I take it everything is alright?"
"Yeah. Yeah, it is now." Ryan answered.
Mrs Roberts looked pleased and winked at Ryan. He smiled back.
"I'll leave you two alone. Be good." she added pointedly, and left the door ajar when she left.
Missy giggled. "She thinks we are going to have sex. Not such a bad idea."
"Missy, no! If we're not back downstairs in five minutes, she'll be back up here to check on us."
"So we've got five minutes?" Missy sassed and pushed Ryan back down on the bed.
"Only five minutes? You wound me, Melissa." He kissed her and pulled her down onto him and into a hug. "Seriously…I'm sorry about before. I guess I'm still not that good at facing things."
"Apology accepted. I'll find a way of letting you make it up to me."
Ryan laughed as she waggled her eyebrows at him suggestively.
"That is what got us into this mess in the first place!" Ryan shook his head.
"No, me vomiting all weekend and you not wanting to wear a condom got us in that situation. And believe me when I say that isn't ever going to happen again, buster…you got that?"
Ryan nodded.
"Trust me. I promise it won't happen again. At least I hope it doesn't…."
He paused and then laughed. "Do you think I should get a vasectomy just in case? You know what we're like and I'd hate for you to have to go through this again if I get carried away again. It's the only way to make sure it doesn't happen again," he said jokingly.
Missy picked up a pillow and whacked him with it.
"Ah, you old romantic. Nothing says I love you quite like a vasectomy, eh Ryan?"
They were back on the road for the journey back to California. They had said goodbye to a tearful Danny with the promise of a visit to Newport on the next school vacation. Missy watched as Ryan hugged Mrs Roberts, thanked her for her advice, and said she was welcome in Newport anytime she wanted a break. Missy added a hug of her own. It hadn't been the best vacation she'd ever had but things at least were back on track. She could breathe easy now, they both could. One thing for sure she would not be so cavalier again when it came to safe sex. This had been their wake up call and she was going to answer it. Ryan had slipped back into relaxed mode, she had hated the way he'd shut her out but had chosen not to make a big deal out of it even though she had wanted to shake him. In the time she'd been with Ryan she knew that confrontation did not work on him.
She watched as he drove. She loved the way he concentrated on the road. She loved his profile, and she loved the way he drove one handed, the other hand resting loosely on his knee. Hell, she loved him. He never failed to give her butterflies in her stomach when she thought of him in that way and she thought of him that way a lot, well she was only human and he was a fine specimen of manhood. He just oozed sex from every pore. She quietly unclipped her seatbelt and gave herself a secret smile. He'd had a rough few days; she figured he needed a little something after all the stress. She slid across the seat and ducked her head downwards.
"Missy!"
His free hand left his lap and gripped the wheel over her head.
"What?"she replied innocently, as she worked on the clasp of his jeans.
"God, not when I'm driving. Please."
She snapped the button open.
"Where's your sense of adventure, Ryan?"
"The last time you did something like this I almost totalled the car, if you remember," he breathed.
"But you had one hell of an orgasm if I remember correctly."
Missy pulled at his zipper. She noted that he wasn't batting her hand away. She also noted that his pants were starting to look a little tighter than they had a few seconds ago. Her hand grazed his groin as she pulled down his zip. Yup, he was definitely getting into this even though his brain was telling him otherwise. She peeled down the material at the side of his fly like she was exposing a banana and reached inside. She felt him harden further as she pulled him free from his boxer briefs, she would never tire of that feeling either, she could feel the blood pumping beneath her hand. Just seeing him getting hard made her mouth water. His musky scent made her pussy muscles clench and she was tempted just to tell him to pull off the road so she could ride him hard, but she also liked it when she made him nervous. He was so adorable when he was all flustered and she could see by the flush that was creeping up his neck that he was getting twitchy.
She lowered her mouth and licked him from root to tip causing him to hiss through his teeth. His right knee began to tremble and his hands gripped the wheel harder.
Oh, she was going to enjoy this.
She flicked her tongue over his slit, tasting the salty slickness that had already started to leak from its tip. She licked and skimmed all around his swollen head causing him to hiss again. She raised her eyes so she could watch him; he stared straight ahead with such a look of panic on his face it was a joy to watch. She kept her eyes on him as she opened her mouth and plunged her head straight downwards. He flinched and moaned at the same time, he also momentarily shut his eyes, they flew open again quickly and he looked in the rear view mirror in alarm.
"Oh God, Missy…. don't do this to me. I'm going to end up killing us both."
She released his cock and held onto it, stroking up and down.
"But what a way to go, huh?" she said, before going to town again. This time she brought out the big guns and sucked him hard before taking him into her throat.
"Fuck." Ryan exclaimed.
His knee increased its trembling. Missy smiled around his dick and slowly moved her head, rolling her tongue up and down his shaft, using one hand to twist the skin as she went. Occasionally he would look down and meet her eyes, and then he'd have to drag his eyes upwards as he realized that he should really be concentrating on the road ahead. Missy loved the small guttural noises he was making in the back of his throat. The groans were sending direct messages to her clit and again she thought about getting him to pull over. Instead she shifted in her seat, snaked her hand down inside her pants and stroked herself, probing her fingers deep inside to try and quell the rising agitation she was feeling. She was so damn wet and she moaned as she hit her sweet spot, Ryan thrust his ass out of the seat and further into her mouth as the vibrations hit his member, so she moaned loader and was rewarded with another expletive from him.
Her head jerked as the car went over a pothole in the road causing her to graze her teeth sharply against him. Ryan gave a loud groan this time and she was just about to stop what she was doing and apologize when she felt a hand on her head.
"Faster." Ryan's strangled voice urged her, letting her know he didn't give a shit about her teeth.
She upped her pace at his request, pistoning her head rapidly, sucking her cheeks in, using her tongue to lick the underside of his cock as she went. His hand tightened in her hair, pulling her ponytail around his fist. He was shifting in his seat, his hips making slight thrusts and he was breathing heavily now. She watched as his eyes never left the road but his jaw was clamped shut and a muscle in his cheek was standing taut against his skin. She worked her own fingers faster inside herself. She moaned louder, partly because she was so turned on, but mainly because she knew what it was doing to Ryan. He tensed and his grip on her hair increased, he let out a small cry and she felt his warm, pungent liquid fill her mouth as he came. She swallowed as he let several aftershocks take his body; she sucked and licked him dry before she released his still semi-hard cock and sat up. Ryan was staring at the road but he had a big shit-eating smile on his face now, he was also sucking air into his lungs like it was going out of fashion.
Missy shifted herself back into her seat. She put her hand back down her pants, she was so close, she slid further down in her seat and continued to watch Ryan. She imagined what they would be doing when they reached the motel for the night, she'd push him up against the wall and kiss him hard, and she'd suck his tongue into his mouth whilst she frantically worked at pulling his pants down. She moaned as the fantasy took her. The noise shook Ryan out of his post-orgasm trance and he swung his eyes her way. Missy knew he was torn between watching what she was doing, watching the road and trying to tuck himself away one handed. She won. He abandoned his fumbling and kept all his energy for the duel purpose of watching the road and her hand in turn. She went back to her fantasy. Ryan was gripping her hips and fucking her doggy style, her hands were flat against the wall as he pounded her from behind.
That did it. The raw energy of the act tipped her over the edge.
She shuddered and gasped out loud. She slumped further in her seat and sighed contentedly, removing her hand. Missy shut her eyes and smiled. She jumped at the feel of Ryan's touch as he lifted her hand from where it lay on her lap. He smiled at her and brought her hand up to his face, licking each of her fingers. Damn him…for being so… hot, the burn was back in her stomach at the feel of his tongue. He wasn't going to know what hit him when they reached the hotel.
They reached the motel by the late afternoon. They had already checked in but were having some problem making it to their room. Ryan was trying to bring their cases in but Missy was making it difficult. She had him pinned up against the side of the car even though it was broad daylight, and was groping the front of his pants whilst obviously trying to find out what he'd had for breakfast- her tongue was that far down his throat - who was he to spoil her fun? He let her molest him, all thoughts of luggage leaving his mind, leaving only room in his brain for what her hand was doing.
Even though all thoughts were now centered on how he could best logistically get Missy onto the bed, in their room, without the need for her to remove her hand from its ministrations, he was aware that a car had pulled in next to them. As fried as his brain was getting - he did have the good grace to feel embarrassed at getting caught being felt up in such a public place. He looked over at the car praying that it wasn't stuffed full of a family with young kids. He didn't get the chance to see who it was though, as soon as the car parked it started to reverse out of its spot at a great speed. Ryan watched as it screeched up the road, rubber burning as it turned sharply into the traffic and roared up the road. Ryan shrugged and went back to the problem of how he was going to get Missy into their room before he just settled on opening the back door of the car and shoving her inside.
Julius unclenched his hands from the wheel and eased off the gas when the motel was far behind him. He couldn't believe it when he saw that little bastard again. Ryan…Ryan with the bulging muscles and the hot girl seemingly always attached to his face. There was no way he was going to get stuck in a room next to those nymphomaniac kids again.
Did they ever stop having sex?
Life was so unfair.
Fin.
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