: Engele :
- Day Seven / Epilogue -
: Disclaimer :
Teen Titans and all its bishounens / bishoujos are not mine
Only Engele and this pretty plotline is mine
: Credits :
Story credits to both Aoi Akiko & (brother) Alexstar Moonlight
- Day Seven -
… tempra la cetra e canta il inno di morte…
… a noi si schiude il ciel… volano al raggio…
… la vita dell'amore… dilette del cor mio…
… o felice, tu anima mia… canta addagio…
… la vita dell'amore…
… dilette del cor mio—
(1)
He flung a dagger from across the room, barely missing her head, her braid suddenly fraying at its end. She glanced up with fearful eyes, past the protective circle of those she cherished surrounding her. Mama's left arm bled in front of her, Unca Cy's shoulder hissed with damaged cybernetics behind her…
"Stop that incessant singing…"
She scrambled to hide herself in Auntie Rae's dark cloak as he stormed towards her. Reaching into the circle of unconscious Titans slumped against one another like puppets without their strings, he caught her wrist. The material tore with the force he used to drag her away from her protective sanctuary.
"No…!" she protested, resisting him desperately – locking her legs and pulling her arm. She tried to will her recently uncovered powers to do to him what he made her do to her guardians, only to find it lacking as he swatted dismissively at the useless threads…
"Your little tricks do nothing to me…" he declared coolly, leaning in close to her, "I am your father, after all – I created you…"
"Leave her alone," came a firm command from the damaged portals leading to the Main Room, "It's me you want…"
"Robin…!"
"Yes, Robin…" Slade echoed, still holding fast to her as she whapped ineffectively at his hand with her toy, "Came to save the day and all that…?"
"Came back for my family and friends," the smaller one corrected, holding his baton and utility belt out as an offering, dropping them to the floor, "Let her go – she wants me."
"How touching…" his adversary mocked, tossing the child to the floor. She picked herself up despite the gathered bruises of yesterday & today and flung herself into her guardian's open embrace, "Robin…"
He could give no lasting comfort, for he knew there was none to give. This was a failing mission, and he wasn't sure if he'd survive long enough to see it to whatever end…
He fingered her limp hand, the joint between it and its arm mottled purple-and-red. "You didn't have to hurt her," he growled angrily, "She would've listened if you just told her so."
"She's my daughter, Robin…" the other replied smoothly, "As her father, I'm entitled to discipline her however I see fit…"
"You don't deserve to be her father…" the young leader spat, "You don't deserve her…"
"I grow tired of this exchange…" Slade sighed, turning around, "Innocence, you know what you have to do…"
She hung her head, her two halves torn between him and him. She would be seven today, and already she was forced to choose which mattered more – the man she'd been made to call father… or this boy she'd come to think of as father…
He wiped away the gathering tears. "Please don't cry, Engele…" he whispered, "It's alright…"
"It's not alright," she protested weakly, "Engele doesn't wanna hurt Robin…"
He kissed her cheek, praying she'd understand. He held her hands towards his heart – she could kill him with just a thought, threads ripping past skin and bone and blood. "No matter what happens, we'll still love you…
"I'll still love you…"
"INNOCENCE!" her father was beginning to lose his patience. Her eyes fading away as she struggled to comply, fingers poised above the willing host kneeling brokenly before her.
Robin closed his eyes.
"… when it truly matters most, the words from those dear to you are all that is valuable…"
Mama…?
"… it doesn't matter what's on the outside – it's what's on the inside that really counts…"
"… as long as I know who my friends are, and how much they mean to me, it'll keep me in control…"
"… no one is born evil… there's always hope…"
Unca Cy? Unca BB? Auntie Rae?
"No matter what happens, we'll still love you…
"I'll still love you…"
Robin…
"… my Papa loves me…"
She whirled and glared at him, defiant. Separated consciousness began merging, two forms into one. An archangel stood there – with Engele's body, Innocence' wings, yet eyes that belonged to neither…
They shone bright gold.
Robin's gold.
"My Papa loves me…" she repeated, crossing her arms stretched forwards and away from her, fingers spread. "You're only a father, one of hundreds and thousands – you're not my papa… You'll never be my papa(2)…!"
Taut lines flew from her fingertips straight towards the man with the two-toned mask – yet not one touched him. He chuckled darkly, "Three feet away from me, and you miss? You're ever more incompetent than I thought…"
The high-pitched whine of a loading sonic cannon aimed towards the back of his head was heard, "That really depends on what she was aiming for…"
"TITANS, GO!"
Beast Boy mauled him as the King of Beasts. Starfire blew strategic starbolts into the ground he was standing on. Raven anchored his limbs to himself. Cyborg charged without hesitation.
Slade swung the emerald lion off his back toward the zooming out-worldly warrior, knocking them both off course. He broke free from the sorceress' dark energies binding him, sending her flying. He dodged the fists aimed towards him with adept dexterity, hauling the team's brawn over his shoulder and chopped a hand against the back of his neck.
Robin launched himself at the accursed man, baton in hand, foot facing forth. He caught his enemy dead on the center, leapt up as the man attempted to sweep him off his feet. He parried the vicious arm that would've caught his side, his staff making a wild arc towards the other's neck. His opponent reared back for the kill, knowing he was weak from the many attacks prior – an advantage he dared exploit…
He pulled ineffectively against an invisible force restraining him. Encircling his armored form, glistening filaments held him back, orchestrated by one little girl standing at the window ledge. These weren't Engele's pitiful strands of ineffectual ties – these were Innocence' cords reinforced by faithful protectiveness and sheer undiluted anger…
"Foolish angel!" he hissed, yanking his limbs hard. The girl's strength gave a little, as evidenced by her dragging feet brought several inches forward. At her failing efforts, her chief guardian snapped to attention, "Engele, let go! He's too much for you—"
She gave him a weak smile, "Engele's sorry…"
And with that, she stepped off the edge and fell, Slade disappearing with her…
"ENGELE!"
"… Engele…"
She lay in a pool of widening crimson, broken wings folded haphazardly behind her, tattered feathers scattered in the wind. Black and gold tendrils curled all around her in abstract loops and swirls, creating an invisible web of artistry surrounding her crumpled form…
He cradled her small head up onto his lap, ignoring the sickening feel of red staining his gloves. The others skidded to their side, lending whatever aid…
… yet each of them knew this was a lost cause…
"Oh, my cereae…!" "The med-scan isn't promising, guys…" "Do something—anything…! Everything…!" "I… c-can't – she's too far b-beyond my powers(3)…"
"… P-papa…?"
"Engele…" this was his daughter – his daughter! She'd chosen him above all things, above all else, "Please, just… just hold o-on…"
"Engele caught the bad man, Papa…" she declared softly, a bittersweet contentedness reflected in her tired eyes, "… but, Engele hurt herself from the fall so very high up…"
"You did good," he praised earnestly, "Don't talk, save your strength – we'll fix this somehow, make it all alright… we'll—"
"Engele's dying…" she whispered knowingly, a sorrowful understanding entering her consciousness, "… isn't she…?"
"N-no…" he struggled to lie to her, but it was so… hard…
"Engel—no, I…" she shook her head lightly, a small smile painted on her lips "… I love you…
"Pa… -pa…"
She drew breath and released, brightness fading from her spirit and soul, forever silenced…
- Epilogue -
They held a quiet funeral the next day at sunset, five Titans in respectful attendance… They buried her in a small grave under a virgin bower hidden at the back of the wood… They floated a raft each bearing a candle and a wreath of flowers into the harbour…
They'd said their goodbyes, but they were far from forever okay…
Cyborg swore he could hear her, see her, feel her so close, so close – even though he knew his upgraded senses shouldn't pick up such impossible signals. Raven meditated every waking hour of the day, trying to find release from her precious laughter haunting her every dreamless hour of the night. Beast Boy sniffed around the Tower like a lost puppy, half-expecting her to jump out from every little corner with a 'peek-a-boo, I see you!' followed by a hearty chase into nothingness…
Starfire went very quiet all of a sudden, cradling her Silkie more than ever…
Robin withdrew to his quarters, rarely seen by anyone for a long, long time.
He didn't cry. He couldn't cry. Perhaps he had simply forgotten how…
They'd been many times he could have learned afresh, while sorting through the remains in his room. Engele was everywhere – loose ribbons hanging in his closet, crayons rolling under his desk, cookie crumbs on his bed… He found her runaway shoe in the bathtub, her missing picture boardbook between the mattress and metallic frame, her unused pacifier by an empty milk-bottle on the stand…
He packed her belongings into a small crate – baby things, toddler things, child things… dresses, shoes, accessories… stationery, books, toys – sealing it and hiding it carefully at the very back of his cupboard space. He did everything with the same blank expression, working methodically without wasting any effort.
Every morning, he lit another candle on his window sill and sang the birthday song in his head, sounding severely off-key even to his ears and in serious danger of losing it completely. Engele would be eleven today… twelve… thirteen… fourteen…
On the fifteenth morning since her arrival, he did his morning ritual and entered the baths for a shower. He blindly turned the water as hot as he could take, stripped and stepped into the scalding spray. Opening his eyes, he finally noticed that he was in total darkness, having forgotten to turn the lights on and having no window overhead.
Groping for the switch, he gasped as he slipped, falling painfully against his side, water pelting him mercilessly. He lay there, grumbling at his misfortunes and then some… Suddenly all feelings suppressed within him bubbled to the surface, boiling over and spilling over the imaginable rim of his consciousness…
They were in the midst of refurnishing the Main Room when they heard the distressed cry from one of their own – a heart-piercing wail of anguish, loud enough to be audible past twisting hallways and a whole floor above the living quarters.
"Robin—" the sensitive-hearted Tamaranean was the first to react, only to be held back by her female companion, cool violet-gray against her warm orange, "Leave him be, Koriand'r… He has to deal with this on his own – he'll come to us when he's ready…"
The shapeshifter patted her back as she sought to hide her own pain – of forgetting her cereae, of grieving with her leader, "So… until then…?"
The mechanical youth shifted the couch into place and sighed, leaning heavily against the back, "Until then… we wait…"
On the first day, he said he wasn't sure he wanted this responsibility. On the second day, he said he would shoulder most of the responsibility. On the third day, he said he wanted all the responsibility.
On the fourth day, he realized this wasn't just a responsibility – this was a priceless gift. On the fifth day, he decided this wasn't just a gift – this was the highest honour. On the sixth day, he knew…
On the seventh day, he became…
"Hello, Engele…"
He approached the veiled grave bathed by lunar light. In his hands he brought her a small bouquet. They hadn't talked about favourite things, so he wasn't sure if she'd like these… but they were pretty things – and she always had a soft spot for the aesthetically pleasing…
He knelt on the small patch of moss so abundant around the modest place. He brushed away the day's gathered leaves and previous flowers laid by his teammates, placing his token offering amongst the others already there.
"I discovered certain truths today…" he whispered, tracing her curves of the engravings, "I've always wondered why we took to you so… Seems you carried a specific pheromone that triggered our parental instincts – everything that happened after that only sharpened our need to nurture you, to care for you, to protect you…
"Slade is an extremely ingenious man, to have planned every detail of how we'd respond to you… He made you hauntingly beautiful, frighteningly wonderful, sinfully fragile…
"In all honesty, I should hate you… You were Slade's creation, a demonling made to follow in the demon's path… Your whole existence was a lie, charming us into a trap we could not have hoped to escape… It was in the brightness of your eyes, the chime of your laugh, the very essence of your presence…
"But do you know what I've think?" he asked suddenly, bringing out the floppy bunny from under his cape and fingering it gently in his hands, "I've don't care for any of it… For though Slade made accurate predictions every step of the way, he failed to take into account the one thing he could not understand…
"You learnt what love was…" he brought out a drawing, done simply in colourful crayons – framed and sealed against the elements. It was the very same portrait of her and her family – she sat at the top, Robin and Starfire in the next row, Beast Boy, Raven and Cyborg in the third, "We grew to love you, and you grew to love us… A simple exchange, but one so powerful, it broke every power you had over us, every power Slade had over you…
"So I'm here to tell you that it's because of that love, I will go on… And what's more, I'll love those close to you in your absence…" he gave a short laugh, "Starting with your Mama, Starfire…
"You named us Papa and Mama on purpose, didn't you…?
"And yet… who am I to argue…?
"Seven days to change a life… I would ever remember our seven days together…" he kissed the head of the cold stone, just above her name.
"Ever always, your faithful Robin…"
He turned to walk away, staring at the quiet waters for a while. Pulling out a pendant attached to a chain, he looked at it one last time before he flung it into the sea. He would've given it to her someday…
He sighed, staring up at the sky, "You would've made an excellent daughter…
"Blessed ageless birthday… My Engele…"
For in the universe of wonders, there's only me and you…
Fin
Aoi Akiko rambles:
(1) Italian lyrics to 2nd stanza of Canta per me
All © to Kajiura Yuki, song from the anime Noir. The translations for this can be found at : www . animelyrics . com :
It's a sad sorrowful yet strangely powerful song that really has no connection to this story, but the melody would've fitted Engele's solemn mood…
(2) The difference between father and papa
Someone once told me, Anyone can be a father… It takes someone special to become a daddy… The word daddy is rather foreign to my tongue because of my asian heritage, thus I chose the affectionate equivalent of papa…
It's subtle use makes more sense at the end of the chapter, with reference to Starfire…
(3) "… too far beyond my powers…"
For those of you who don't know, this is Raven speaking. Raven's powers extend to the healing of minor wounds, as seen for the first time in S1: FINAL EXAM when she covers Beast Boy's thigh to relieve the pain and he's good as new…
(4) Funeral / Titan's healing / Robin's healing / Grave scene
Here's a peek into my own life: I was reliving my late father's passing, some 11 years ago.
The Titan's response to Engele's death was me - wandering around trying to piece together my life after the loss. Robin's initial response of not crying was me, too - it took me 6 months to realize that my father was truly gone, and I finally had a nervous breakdown in the middle of nowhere. Robin's later response (the wailing in the shower) was my mother - it took her less than a week to get it all out. The grave scene was taken a year later, during my late father's memorial…
I just wanted to say that these things are real…
(5) The song, For the universe of wonders
All © to the lyrics of Robin's lullaby / love song belongs to Aoi Akiko