Title: Regretful! Old! Obi-Wan
Summary: Regretful! Old! Obi-Wan for selenevidae
Disclaimer: I don't own em', so don't sue!
AN: Everytime you don't comment Anakin kills another Jedi!
How long had it been? A year? Ten? Twenty? Perhaps a whole different lifetime? mused Obi-Wan to himself. No, it's only been 15 years, but still. . . he thought, mulling over the thoughts that invaded his mind. As a Jedi Master before, he wouldn't have entertained such thoughts, but here in the Junland wastes of Tatooine, he had nothing but time. Sighing, he got up, and stepped outside into the relative coolness of yet another desert sunrise. Today is Luke's birthday, he thought smiling. He will be 15 years old. Those thoughts brought back a whole myriad of emotions and memories. He remembered how Padme had named him, gasping for breath, and reaching out to comfort her newborn son as he cried. How she had used her final moments to press a japor snippet into the Jedi master's hand, and tell him, "There is still good in him. I know. . .there is still. . ." Then she was gone, leaving a tiny, helpless child, squalling in his arms. A small voice in the back of his mind sneered at him, whispering, You failed her, just like Anakin. Obi-Wan shook his head, ridding himself of the insepid voice, and it's venomous words. He would not let anything ruin this day if it could be helped. Today was Luke's day.
Obi-Wan had long since been unwelcome in the Lar's household, some animosity that Owen felt towards him for leading Anakin off on, what had he called it? Oh yes, some damned fool mission. The former Jedi sighed, If only he could see the truth. Then perhaps he would understand. He thought making his way, by speeder, to the Lar's homestead. He knew that Beru would welcome him with open arms, and Luke would be glad of his company as well; but when Owen found out, well. . . He wouldn't dwell on that right now, he would spend whatever time he could with them, and then part ways, to continue watching from afar.
Obi-Wan stopped his speeder bike, a few miles from the homestead, deciding that walking would be better, if he were to slip in unnoticed by Owen. When he was roughly a half mile away, he stopped, seeing Luke outside with Beru chatting and laughing. He stood there for a moment, not realizing his presence had been noticed. Everything about Luke reminded him of Anakin. They way he moved, talked, stood, flew, fought, and laughed. He remembered when that smile had belonged to his once padawan, and sighed. "I have failed you, Anakin. I have failed you." The words that rushed through his mind seemed spoken by someone else. "I should've known the Jedi were plotting to take over." the man who had been his brother said, shaking his head. Desperation tinged Obi-Wan's voice, "Anakin, Chancellor Palpatine is evil." It did nothing to sway the monster that stood before him otherwise. "From my point of view the Jedi are evil." Obi-Wan lost control for a moment at that, yelling, Well then you are lost!"
He was jolted out of his, depressing memories, by a cold voice at his ear. "What the hell are you doing here, Ben?" The Jedi Master turned to see Owen Lars standing there, hands on hips, and a cold glare in his eyes. So much for a good day. . . thought Obi-Wan morosely. "Owen." he acknowledged. Luke's uncle didn't return the recognition. "I told you years ago that you weren't welcomed in my home." Obi-Wan sighed, "I only came to wish Luke a Happy Birthday, and give him a gift." Owen eyed him suspiciously, "No." then, "What gift?" Obi-Wan unclipped a silver cylinder from his belt, and held it out for inspection. "It was Anakin's. He wanted Luke to have it when he was old enough. . ." He was cut off sharply by Owen, "You can go to hell Kenobi. He won't follow you anywhere, ever, if I have any say in it."
Obi-Wan rubbed his forehead, a headached beginning to form at his temple. He then fixed the moisture farmer with a hard stare of his own, "It doesn't matter what you do. You can't stop him from fufilling his destiny." Owen nodded at that, stepped closer than Obi-Wan would have preffered, and said, "True, but I can keep him from you." He continued, a cold edge to his voice, "Keep you from getting him killed, just like you did Anakin." Obi-Wan took an involuntary step back, as though he had been hit. Owen, seeing that his point had hit home, pushed past the former Jedi, and walked back towards his home.
Obi-Wan stood there for a moment, feeling the cool metal of his once padawan's lightsaber in his hand, and Owen's words still ringing through his mind, "True, but I can keep him from you. Keep you from getting him killed, just like you did Anakin." He looked back towards the Lar's homestead, and turned and walked away, the ghosts of his past going with him. So many things I failed at. So many things I could've done better. he thought, sadly. He walked past his speeder, not wanting to do anything that could possibly remind him of the life he once lead, but the broken memories still came, unbidden. I'm sorry I couldn't save you, Anakin. I wish it had been me instead of you. I wish. . .Oh, force. I wish so many things could've been different. Suddenly, a memory of himself and Anakin laughing came into his mind. He couldn't remember when or where, but there it was. Another person might've been happy to remember such a wonderful memory, but not Obi-Wan. It left a bitter, empty feeling in the back of his mind. It reminded him of what he should never see again. . .
So many regrets. . .so many regrets. . .he thought, walking into the darkening wastes.
FIN