Halo VS Reality
On one glorious day on the map island of delta halo, the marines had just got dropped off onto a beach full of covenant forces. The marines were scared but ready to fight for their honor and planet. Assault rifles were blazing, plasma was flying, and our favorite hero, the Master Chief was standing around complaining about the situation.
"Damn! Couldn't they have given me a sniper with one of those highly illogical ammo packs that can carry up to 100 rounds?" ranted the Master Chief "Then dropped off on one of those cliffs with an overshield instead of on the beach with these marines/meatshields?"
It is the chief's third day on this god-forsaken ring, and he still didn't know how he went to the washroom. This time, they are supposed to find the map to Halo's control center, then go to it and drive their spaceship out of here or something like that. He's still a bit wacky, because they had a party complete with beverages with high alcohol content when they cyrogenetically froze him and Linda. He would team kill those guys as soon as he woke up, but the side effects of being frozen was short term memory loss. Anyways, back to the action.
As soon as they landed, battle music blazed on, but the Chief was too busy to notice. He strafed to the side, letting four of the walking ammo packs/marines take the plasma grenade. Using his assualt rifle, he slaughtered the two grunts that were taking cover on the side of the battlefield. Quickly exchanging his super-weak assault rifle for the porcupine shaped gun with purple spikes, he continued to unload rounds of spiky explode(ingly) purple(ly) death onto the Elite who is,er, was decimating his useless 'teamates'. An added bonus is that the bright pink explosion quickly detonated the plasma grenades dropped by the elite, taking out the grunts wobbling around as well as a couple of A.S. (Artificial Stupidity) controlled marines. Master Chief then proceeded to salvage the remaining ammo and grenades. The marines left over continued to challenge the stronger and especially smarter covenant due to their stupidity with or without their big green titan to use for cover. (Even though they don't really take cover. They are too stupid.)
"Hooch and Vittles!" cried a soldier as he threw a grenade towards an elite. The elite responded by crying "RAWR, RAWR, RAWRRRRR." Which loosely translates into: 'your mother has a smooth forehead', then continued on with turning him from something alive into something that is burning and… not really alive. That manuver brought him out into the open which triggered a storm of glowing needles from the Master Chief's needler. The elite later cried "RAWRRRRR" "Motherland!" then exploded in a neon-pink explosion that caused the grunts to scream and wobble around in a panicked state while the marines' bullets bounced off them harmlessly.
After picking them off and stealing their ammo, the hero of this story cocked his gun and muttered under his breath "My job here is done". Ironically, after that statement, two elites and a handful of jackals popped out of nowhere and took down Chief's shield. "F... My job is never done".
Brandishing his pistol in one hand, and his needler in the other, the Master Chief leapt towards his enemies…
To be continued… or will it? More funny stuff on chapter 2. Just click the button.
Author's note: pressing the f-key on the keyboard on default mode does the melee attack. So I call it F-ing.