On the last chapter, our heroes were about to drive into a troop of Jackals. Let's start from there.
Foehammer sharply swerved the warthog-truck, hitting a careless group playing covenant poker. The haunting screams of their teammates brought the other Jackals to full alert. They activated their bitchin energy shields and stupidly charged towards their foes. Foehammer reacted to this and gunned the modified warthog out onto the water surrounding the island, followed by some green plasma, which cooled and dissipated with a stream of heat as it hit the water. After a while, the Jackals got bored and stopped chasing. This gave time for the marines to regroup.
"What do we do, we can't rush them!" Whined a marine.
"We're doomed!" Screamed another.
Barney, being the self-proclaimed leader of the group had to think up of something to eliminate the jackal threat, even though they could just easily drive past them. "Hmm… Foehammer!" He ordered as he picked up a rock that looked like a dented tank shell, "Take this rock and start smashing them on the head with it! They can't see you, so they won't attack!"
"Good idea! I never would have thought of it!" Foehammer replied. Picking up the stone, she walked all the way from the water to where the Jackals stand with their glowing energy shields and plasma weapons. They are all huddled together in a big group talking about the latest shield fashions. Jackals are actually so obsessed with shields and other cool fashion items, that they will talk about it for hours on end without noticing anything. Especially a floating rock the size of their head.
"I heard the pink is the new green," Said a lovely female Jackal
"Oh, that is, like, so last minute ago!" Countered her rival.
"Check out my spiky orange shield, it's so gansta!" A male boasted for the attention of the two females.
"Dude, I've got a blue shield, that is so 1337 yo!" cried a lonely Jackal in a desperate plea to be noticed.
Foehammer, who have never killed in her life, is about to take away the life of an innocent Jackal. Believe it or not, she is a very kind and sensitive person, and will not do anything rash or cruel such as murder without giving it intense meditation and weighing the pros and cons for at least two hours or more.
"White sucks!" exclaimed the Jackal that Foehammer was towering over. That was a huge mistake, for white was Foehammer's favorite color.
"WHAT'D YOU SAY BITCH!" she screamed. The Jackals all looked at the source of the sound and saw a tank shell that looked like a rock traveling at high velocities towards one of their teammate's head.
You can kind of guess the result: BOOM!
There's a perfectly reasonable explanation for Foehammer finding the tank shell. You see:
Fifteen minutes earlier:
Master Chief was flying Echo 419 around the island looking for some sort of map Cortana mentioned. Hopefully, it would lead the Chief back home to earth. Being as impatient as he is, he put Cortana on autopilot and found some Scorpion ammo in the storage section. He thought if he threw the shell at the ground hard enough, it might explode, and the Chief likes explosions. While picking a spot the throw it at, he spotted some innocent covenant, so he naturally threw it at them. However, with his arm, you can't aim well, so he missed and the shell landed in the water. The impact dented and misshaped the shell so it looks like a rock. See, perfectly reasonable.
Now to the present:
"Wow!" thought Barney, "She switched the rock with a tank shell at the last second to kill all the Jackals in the group with the splash damage! Genius!"
"Ahhh… Ouch!" Foehammer had just landed with a splash right next to the warthog in hip-high water. "I'm drowning, I'm drowning!" she screamed as she splashed around pathetically.
"Um… Foehammer, stand up!" screamed Mr. X
"Yea! You're not drowning, and even if you are, I'll save you with me awesome, superior swimming skills" boasted Kyle, the egotistic marine. That got him a splitting headache from the butt of Barney's rifle.
"Okay, Foehammer, time to start moving!" ordered Barney.
"I'm drowning… Blub Blub"
"Okey Dokey… Since our driver is out of commission I call shotgun, and I will impress all of you with my superior driving skills! And noticed how I used a big word like commission?" said… well… you could guess whom.
"Sorry, but you can't drive because you are going to sleep in about two seconds"
"No I'm…" but before Kyle can finish the sentence, Barney knocked him out.
"Ahem, but if you haven't noticed, I'm still drowning!"
Order had to be maintained, and Barney was up the challenge. "Okay, Mr. X, carry Foehammer into the trunk, I'm driving!"
"Right sir, and would you like me to do CPR on…"
"No. By the way, there are still enemies ahead of us. We really need to focus on that."
Little did they know, the enemy force ahead of them was something that should not rushed upon. It's a force so fearsome, that the only chance of surviving it is to take it out from a distance, or better yet, don't. And because of the marine's intelligence, they, of course, rushed right into it.
Meanwhile…
The great slayer of covenant rested in the stolen pelican with his foot on the holo-panel. He was relaxing and sipping his Iced Cappuccino. It's only $1.99 at Tim Horton, or free at your local UNSC fleet drink dispenser. Suddenly an emergency light went on. Cortana materialized on the holo-panel and a startled/annoyed look appeared on her face.
"Chief! Get your foot out of my head!" She screamed.
"Hmm? Oh, whoops" Master Chief quickly pulled his foot out of Cortana, "So, what's up?"
"There seems to be a strange ripple in space-time, which has the ability to transport us to an alternate dimension." Said Cortana. There was numerous numbers and equations running across her hot… tight… body… oh yea… whipped cream and cherries. Anyways, (slaps myself) back to the story.
"We can't avoid it!" Screamed Cortana!
"Then stuff up a cork up your ass, cause we're going to run it over!" Said Master Chief calmly as a glint of stupidity passed through his eyes.
"Wait, NOOO…"
NETWORK CONNECTION ESTABLISHED… LOADING MAP BLOOD GULCH
Welcome Master Chief
Welcome Cortana
Slowpoke was killed by Panda Bear
Panda Bear was killed by Slowpoke
Slowpoke: lol
Master Chief: Where am I?
Cortana: It seems like... we're in... Multiplayer!
Slowpoke: Du Du DUM!
Will the Master Chief and Cortana survive the ultimate challenge against the most dangerous game? Will Barney and his fellow marines survive the Covenant forces before them? And will Mr. X ever do 'CPR' on Foehammer? Find out next time on Halo VS Reality!
Author's Note: I copied the ending format from Dragon Ball Z episodes. Please forgive me, and don't sue me. This time, 10 reviews to the next update. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA… cough, cough. Just to be clear, the rock is actually a tank shell that looks like a rock. Slowpoke is my user name on halo demo multiplayer and Panda Bear is Shenyu's user name on halo demo multiplayer. He also has a account on fanfiction.