Revenant
If I were more like Sirius I would be shouting at her by now. Hell, Sirius would have thrown out some little remark that cut to the bone and stormed from the room an hour ago but I, always the calmest of us, I merely sit here and let her prattle on about how open minded and accepting she is. How she loves me…no matter what I maybe…how old or poor or broken…and I can't help but wonder why someone so besotted by love has yet to notice my utter lack of interest. Can't deign to understand what any of those things my might mean to me…or have any effect on whether I might actually want her love.
Her single minded self absorption is actually fascinating, never mind that Sirius is gone, Dumbledore dead and Fenrir bloody Greyback has just stormed the bloody castle…no, to her mind what matters here is that I am not handing myself over to her tender devotions. Surely, this consuming conceit must run in the Black family blood. It reminds me somewhat of Sirius in our first years of school…before he learned an iota of empathy or humility. I taught him those things, I think proudly…never mind that I taught them painfully, bitterly and unwillingly…often ripping myself apart, quiet literally, in the process. Now I am too bruised and scarred and yes broken to teach them to any other.
She is saying she would have me, even as I am…but the truth is the poor thing hasn't the faintest clue as to what that is, nor do I think she would care to learn. I tell her again that being with me would be unfair to her…but it isn't for any of the reasons she decries…it is only that the love has gone out of my heart like a candle in a rain storm. What I could offer would only be a revenant of the fiery living thing that love truly is…I sip my tea, and breath and my heart continues beating but I am nothing more than an inferi, and somehow she never seems to notice.