Muv-Luv Reversal

by Zuoriel

Takeru has been leading a normal life until now. During the summer vacation of his second year in college he's invited by his high school friends to meet up again, to which he agrees. Shirogane doesn't know that this decision would release the nightmares that have been haunting him for some time, nightmares that would be better left forgotten.

3. Integrate

Chapter 3:

Integrate

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(Showroom. Terminal N° 51)

[Takeru]

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With a blasting sound, my Take gets sent into a wall again. Its joints shouting at me in complain, it takes a sec for it to come back to its feet. By then, the red frame is again out of sight.

"Sigh… Damn, didn't think it'd take me so much to knockout a single enemy."

If Mikoto were here, we could have done this quickly. The damn blue Ravager got in the way of our plan, disrupting our pincer maneuver. The green Elef bombarded us with all it had to let Red run into the fortress, and I tried to give chase. Being left in between two Elef's missiles, it's a miracle I made it into the fortress, to be honest. Mikoto and the blue Ravager got done in during the crossfire, so now it's just me and-

BEEP!

"Me and the fucking homing missiles every damn second!" TC out, I don't even bother to charge it, releasing a small ball of red sparks that collide against the missile.

Taking a second to sigh, I run a hand over my forehead to clean the sweat that's been tickling down to my chin for a while now. The red Ravager has managed to keep its distance from me for about two minutes. I'm at a disadvantage in this fight, not only he can shoot homings at me from anywhere as soon as he locks onto me but also has better range with his guns and grenades. The guy is also not bad at CQC, though I did manage to get two clear hits.

But simply by hearing the creaking sounds of my Take as it walks, the once regal purple painting now peeling off and revealing the crude metallic gray beneath, one can see I'm almost a dead man walking. Down to my last long sword, I gotta make this count.

Blasting into a jump just before the corner, the Take keeps boosting in midair. No sooner do I take the turn that the alarm starts beeping again, the homing is coming already. A quick flicker, I shoot it down with the TC and start dashing forward as I land. Sidestepping and moving through the clogging smoke to avoid as many bullets as possible, my Take keeps on rushing while firing the machineguns. I don't care if I'm not in range yet, I have to take down the grenades before they get too close! The red frame is at the end of my radar, I can get close if I deal with these!

Grinding its feet against the ground, the Take comes to a sudden stop. The explosions start ahead of me, missing their expected target, as I quickly click and yank the combo. Pulling out the big and clunky TC again, the red circle of the auto-lock appears on my view despite the fire and smoke veiling my sight.

In a quick counter, my red adversary fires off a few more of his weapons at me. Sadly, I'm too far away for him to interrupt my charge. Lightning surges forth, grenades burnt to mere pixels, the beam roars through the hallway. The Ravager is forced to boost jump in a panic to avoid it, and shoots another homing as it does.

"I'm starting to think that having infinite projectiles is not a good idea. At least make the cooldown a bit longer, dammit!"

Piercing the clouds and flames, exploding the homings when required, I advance and try to counter. The Ravager manages to stay always out of range, a hazy shadow nearing the horizon, while never stopping to send those damn grenades to not let me use the TC again. But since that's what he thinks is my win-con, as soon as he gets locked into the animation-

Now's my chance! I pull the joystick forward, crouching first then going into a full boost dash, readying my blade. Red throws a grenade upwards, which misses my Take entirely as it crouch-dashes, my eyes see again that nice red circle of the auto-lock for a second. Instead of fleeing, Red starts taking out its saber. Feet planted on the pedals, joystick kept in place, I push my Take forward while ignoring the grenade.

Explosions tickle the Take's back, taking 3% off my shields. Couldn't get out of the damage area, at top speed? Whatever, I take my stance and slash at the Ravager. We trade blows, sparks and screeches echoing about, parries and ripostes exchanged like trading cards, but neither of us can get a clear hit either on the frame or the limbs nor find the space to use our guns without risk of a hit to the core. As we try to outmaneuver each other, taking sharp turns and power-sliding on the corners and around the few pillars that divide the hallways, our slashes keep meeting the other's blade time and again. This guy's technique in CQC is really something else, he must have played a melee-eccentric mech before.

After reaching a hallway with a 90° curve, the Ravager does a sharp drift and moves further in as it barely grazes the wall, leaving a trail of grenades in its wake. With a sharp yank of the controls, almost hitting my ribs, I take my distance from the corner as the stock explosions fill my view. Taking a second to sigh and do a circle with my neck, a chill runs down my spine as another chime appears. A homing again zooming towards me.

"For fuck's sake!"

More thunders meet the missile, more smoke fills and paints the once sleek walls of smooth and curved metal of the place. Once the pixelated smoke scatters, I resume the chase on foot again. He's gone into the next open area at the end of the hallway, he's trying to ambush me for sure. As I reach the place in question, however, I see a giant hole in the middle of the area. A giant, triangular elevator that is already activated.

"Oh… Oh, fuck no." A hand firmly planted on my forehead, all I can do now is is just close my eyes, shake my head and… and just… Man, fuck this shit. "How could I forget about this. The damn tunnel to the underground, fuck!"

Worst part is, the underground part of Yguloch is even more narrow than the aboveground building. This is bad, there's no way I'll be able to keep dodging his shots in the underground. Once he gets the lead and arrives at a narrow enough place, the Ravager can simply opt to employ a stationary defense tactic with the missiles. If my TC can't blast away the walls, which I think it shouldn't, then its all up on whether I can dodge the ammo or endure the damage.

And looking at my numbers, it's enough to make me gulp the sigh I was about to release. Fuck… Well, he still should be descending so I gotta be quick! The chase is on!

As soon as I set foot on the room a homing appears in my radar. Dammit, barely had time to take out the TC to protect myself from the damn thing. But now I can't shoot at the Ravager on the way down, the cooldown of the homing is shorter than that of the TC's if I base myself in how quickly he's been shooting the damn things when I was chasing him around.

"If I let him get away now that's it, it's my loss. I tried so hard and got so far, but in the end…"

The tunnel changes directions twice and he already has a lead on me. The Ravager is faster than the Takemikazuchi, so I suppose I won't be able to catch up.

"Well, at least I'll keep fighting to the end! Despair after you're dead, Takeru. No point in admitting defeat before the final curtain!" So, with a strong stomp on the pedals, I bring my Take to life, making it run and jump into the downwards spiral of a tunnel that's ahead.

Is there anything I can do to catch up to him? If only there was a way to get him by surprise. Without the TC or missiles, is there anything I can pull off? Hmm…

Lost in thought as I descend into the tunnel, looking at the gray walls that resemble some sort of odd research facility, my head starts to hurt right below my ears. It isn't a strong pain or anything, but it's definitely bothersome. Too much time in front of the screen, maybe? Focus on the match, man. Sigh…

But, wait… Haven't I done something like this before? Chasing something down a tunnel, rushing it at top speed. I haven't played much games on Yguloch, much less in the underground. I wonder what's this weird tickling sensation in the back of my head. But it does feel like that, kind of… nostalgic. Huh.

Leaning back onto the seat, I exhale loudly. Licking my lips, I simply stare at the tunnel while thinking through the small pain in my ears. Looking at the patterns that the metallic shine of the hexagonal steel plates and the twister of cables in between them makes in the tunnel's walls, at the blinking firefly-like lights of whatever the equipment is made to represent, at the blurry and momentary sight as I rush downwards… Ugh, it hurts.

My vision grows a bit narrow, as if everything were graying out. What the hell is- Why is my body feeling so heavy all of a sudden? And why am I not scared? I can barely see anything well but, again, it feels oddly calm. Blinking fast to try and get rid of this dizziness, a blurry darkened mess fills my view when opening my eyes fully, voices distorted by static reach my ears.

"Eight Laser-Class firing on the Hangar 90 barriers! There's still some of the bastards left!" Says a voice that sounds like me, despite the fact that I am not moving my lips. Laser what?

"Let's take 'em all down!" Roars a female voice I don't recognize.

Light flashes before my eyes as a flurry of bullets fly towards some hazy shapes in the distance.

"HQ to Alpha 2! We're… and 5th barr… your route!" Another female voice I don't recognize speaks but I can't hear clearly what she's saying.

"We'll be boost vectoring in reverse forty meters above the barrier. Kick off the walls to change directions twice!" The first female voice says, dry and harsh, almost as if out of breath.

Wait, what? Boost vectoring? In reverse? Kicking the wall? Does she mean to do consecutive Albrights in reverse or what?

"Feeling nervous, Shirogane?!"

A jolt in my stomach, a twist in my gut, I can't help but to bite my lips as acid rushes up my throat.

I clearly heard it, she said my name! Well, duh, this is a daydream after all. However, hearing that voice… Why do I feel as if I had a tight knot on my chest?

An alarm snaps me out of my daydream, a homing is coming my way. Taking a sharp breath, blinking fast and feeling my eyes almost molding shut as if it were spring and the air was full of pollen, my heart is still rumbling inside. Swallowing whatever caused this acid taste to come up, I lick my lips and readjust my position on the seat, my hold over the joysticks.

I'm already at my limit in this game. There's nothing to lose, right? I feel strangely good now, the light pain is gone, everything seems so much more clear. Could I try to do that thing the woman was saying in the dream? I mean, I was there and everything sounded so real, even if it was all kind of blurred. And anyways, I'm losing either way. Might as well take the shot. Yeah, as she said I am nervous right now, so let's just have some fun!

Alright, let's do this reverse consecutive Albright or whatever the hell it is! You don't just screw a Storm Vanguard and get away unscathed!

"…Storm Vanguard? What's that?" Man, I need therapy. Whatever is causing these hallucinations has to go, I can't keep living like this.

Taking another deep breath and gripping my joysticks firmly again, feeling the thin veil of sweat that had built up, I start to accelerate towards the wall.

But instead of lowering the speed, my feet remain firmly planted on the pedals for a little while longer as the Take breaches the wall's personal space. Rebounding off it, the Takemikazuchi is sent flying away towards another wall in the narrow spiraling tunnel. I keep doing the same every time I kick the walls, and as I keep rebounding off them I get closer and closer to top speed. Since I'm using the momentum from the jumps I'm using less fuel, since I just boost when in contact with the wall.

When the alarm beeps in my ears, when the homing starts to get closer, I try to get an image of what was happening in the dream. How the maneuver turned out, how the thing played out.

The wall is getting closer. I spin the joystick, press the trigger, and go hard on the accel. The homing explodes just above where the Take kicked the wall, but my purple beetle keeps on dashing downwards without losing any speed or receiving damage.

"Ha! Take that one!"

Usually you can't stay at top speed for long, even during a full boost, without eating up a lot of fuel. But now I managed to just lower my remaining fuel to red.

Falling down like a meteor, my Take reaches the pit of the tunnel. An odd giant egg-shaped machine awaits at the bottom with something that resembles exhaust pipes coming out of it, releasing cerulean mist onto the underground facility.

For a second, the voice I had heard before seemed to return in the distance. Looking at the map, there's some sort of command center nearby. A low polygon model of an attendant with long hair is in it. Seeing it as I fly by, for some reason, makes my throat close up. Something turning in my stomach, red flashing in my eyes for a sec, I have to pull back my tongue to not bite on accident.

A small ding rings in my ears, a dot appears on my radar. Located in a hallway that is connected to the bottom of this tunnel, there is my target. Letting out a short sigh, clearing these odd feelings before I end up daydreaming again, with a simple click I start to charge the TC.

"Just one shot, that's all I need."

My heart starts beating in my neck, the screen keeps moving fast, the walls of the underground blur, filled with those hexagons and cables, and now also accompanied by the mist and shine coming from the egg-machine.

Looking away from the odd machine, I kick the ground to keep my momentum and fly into the hallway leaving the mist and odd cerulean glow behind. After a second to focus on what's ahead, the red frame comes into view. Pressing hard on the triggers, I shot at it.

Clearly startled, the Ravager just barely jumps out of the lightning's way. But now that you're in the air, you won't be able to dodge this! Spinning on itself, the Take propels itself from the walls again, long sword ready to slash.

Sparks, screeching, a beep in my ears. I hit his left side, but not his body. Damn, he dodged at point-blank when I was at almost top speed?!

Instead of stopping my rush, I keep my feet on the pedals as the Take fires off towards another wall. With a few quick pulls on the controls, I spin around and land feet first onto the machinery, jump units blazing up in full force. With a smirk, I pull the accel lever again.

Blasting away from the wall, my purple beetle again charges at the red frame, a killer arrow diving straight for the heart. The Ravager, that now has its saber out, does not retreat. With a light dash, it comes to meet my aggro as the auto-lock circle confirms my target. Gulping hard, I swing my sword downwards as he tries to do a low slash after a crouch cancel.

Our mechs crash into each other, everything gets blurry in the screen as it shakes after a moment.

And then, fire. And smoke, and an explosion, and my controls lost their response from them.

Within the smoke, on top of a wreckage of parts, a pair of damaged red eyes glimmer through the fire. And raising its sword, the haze of fire as its cloak, the Takemikazuchi takes on its victory pose, a golden sign with confetti and fireworks filling my screen.

[MATCH OVER – TEAM N° 51 WINS]

…

Letting out a long and heavy sigh, I slump onto the seat. Gasping for air, I wipe the sweat of my face and move my bangs away. Eyes close tightly as I throw my head back, both hands come to cover my face. Ants march on my back, and I can only quietly breath in.

"Hehe… Hehehe… Ahaha… I won? For real?"

I relax into the seat and take off the belts, barely managing to undo the bindings. I'm feeling real tired all of a sudden, a small jolt comes through my ankles as I try to move my feet off the pedals. I stay like that for a minute, until I hear Mikoto.

"Takeru!" He calls out from behind the locked seat.

I pull the seat back to greet a teary eyed Mikoto with a small smile, shrugging.

"Looks like I ended up winning us the tournament, I guess."

Lips shaking eyes sparkling, he looks at me, at my screen, back at me, dazed like a deer in front of a dragster. "You won, right? This ain't a dream, right?"

Curling my fist, I punch my stomach, making me cough. "D-Doesn't feel like it."

He pinches his cheek, stretching it a bit, leaving it reddening. "Ow," he rubs it slowly, making a silly grin, "this isn't dream. We… We won the tournament? We won the tournament!"

"Ahaha! Yeah, we won the entire thing, dammit!" I raise a hand, we slam into a high five, laughing like idiots. "We are the champions, my friend!"

"And we'll keep on fighting till the end!" He sings along, we finish the song as I get out of my seat, striking a pose, raising fingers to the overhead lights. "Damn, that match was so tight! How did you even manage to avoid all those homings on the way down the elevator?"

"What can I say, you don't just screw with a Storm Vanguard and get away with it," whatever that means.

"But man, those consecutive wall jumps were truly something else. One thing was the Albright, but chaining so many in a row? You gotta totally tell me where you learned that!" He says, lightly slapping my arm.

"Ahaha, I was kinda desperate so I just improvised on the spot." Laughing dryly, I scratch my head. Can't exactly tell him I had a few fever dreams while I was playing.

As we keep doing idle chitchat about the match, complaining about the Elef, Mikoto telling me he got stunned by a homing from the blue Ravager as he tried to follow me, then me going on a tangent on how broken the homing felt to play against in such a narrow map, someone from the staff approaches us.

"Excuse me, it's time to give the prizes. Please follow me."

The attendant guides us to a room that looks like it's used for press conferences, painted completely in an unassuming light blue. It wasn't that big, but there were four rows of seats, already occupied by journalists, and a lot of cameras and cables going around, and people hurrying about too.

There's a lectern on the stage with the logo of the game on its front and some monitors on the wall behind it, the other teams is already up there. We're guided to the stage, and try to greet the other players but they barely respond, giving one word answers. I guess it can't be helped, they did lose the final. Must be hard for pro players to get here and then be the first ones to lose.

The journalists are all bustling, waiting for the conference to start. How many cameras do they need for this? Well, I guess that if Zegga wants to do another announcement of an announcement, this might be the day to do it.

One woman in a suit has the medals and two trophies, and that one there dressed all in black looks like the announcer. After he finishes talking through a small mic, they tell us where to stand and, after confirming something with the staff, the announcer makes a sign to the people behind the cameras, and he starts his speech with a grand swipe of his hand.

"And now, it's time for the awards of the Valgern-On Tokyo Salon Fighters Tournament! Here we have the three teams that made it to the final match, a round of applause for them!" The announcer makes a gesture towards the camera, clicking his fingers, making the cameras lock onto us.

He introduces the two members of each team as he hands them a medal and an envelope with the prize money. While each team member gets introduced the monitors shows footage of their fights, numbers of their performance in a table to the right, the details of their chosen unit and weapons to the left.

Mikoto's shivering a lot. Looks like his joints are made out of plastic. So I elbow him a bit. "Chillax, man. We're just going to get the medals, right? The worst part is already over, dude," I whisper to his ear, smiling.

"Y-Yeah. Just nod to the camera… just that. Look ahead, and just smile and nod."

It doesn't look like he calmed down at all. Sigh… As we are introduced and a reverberating clapping starts, I take the first step towards the center of the stage. Mikoto slowly follows behind, but the announcer moves aside, again gesturing to the cameras as we look at each other, wondering what the hell is he doing.

And raising a hand up in another grandiose gesture, he brings the mic to his lips, "And for the champions, the creators themselves shall give them their prize!"

WHAT?! The devs themselves?!

"…Takeru, did I hear that right?"

"Yeah… I think we did."

Two faces I know well enter the room from another door behind the rows of seat. Slowly, they come towards the stage in style. It feels as if the floor was giving out on me, my knees shaking as I pinch one of my cheeks. This isn't another of my weird daydreams, is it?

"Hello! We're MofuMofu and…"

"Andoku! Congratulations on your victory!"

The devs introduce themselves with their artistic names as they bow to the cameras, before turning around, coming up towards us with a smile, giving me and Mikoto our medals, offering us a handshake later.

This is a dream come true! THE makers of Valgern-On in the flesh, dude! Looking at Mikoto, he has a giant silly grin plastered on his face as his hands tightly join. We both can't help but to laugh a bit. Colored papers fly out for a while and, after a round of applause, MofuMofu steps forward with a mic in hand.

"We hope everyone enjoyed today's event, from the participants to the spectators here, on TV and through the net. As you know, in one month, a new version of Valgern-On will be released to the market." He starts explaining things about the next game, whose official name is Oratory Tango, like how many new mechs it'll have and its new online functions.

On the screens behind us, a few scenes with the new models of the mechs play out as they fight each other in some old and new stages, moving way faster than in the current version.

"Wow, they really reworked the mechs?"

"Now they really look, you know, smooth," Mikoto says, barely stopping himself from squealing or doing a short hop.

After answering some questions from the journalists as the logo of Oratory Tango was displayed on the screens, MofuMofu takes a step back and hands the mic to Andoku.

"However! That is not all there is to it! There's a new style of gameplay added to both single and multiplayer mode. A brand new campaign setting, with harder missions than the original one. And a new multiplayer mode in which the players will have to fight together against our new AI and defeat it under strict conditions! We've fine tuned it with the help of the best players in the game and took inspiration from other, more hardcore games to bring a new challenge to the Valgern-On universe! And it's this new mode that the champions will have the privilege to enjoy after this celebration!" He strikes a pose for the camera as both devs point at us.

Right, I forgot all about the new version trial!

"This is amazing, Takeru! What do you think it's gonna be?!"

"I dunno, we've been fighting against machines gone rogue in the first setting, so maybe aliens this time?" Maybe like the red things from my dreams? Heh, would be hilarious if that were the case.

As the makers finish their speech and the questions, they come to our side and gives us the trophies. Me and Mikoto send our poses to everyone watching, unable to not make the silliest of grins. We wave for the camera one last time, and the celebration is finished. The journalists surround the devs for some off-the-record words, and the announcer takes us to another room. One that looks like a Headmaster's room, with a table in fine black, a few nice looking sofas, with a jar full of cookies in the middle. After a brief wait, the devs come in along some other people in suits.

"Well, Shirogane-kun, Yoroi-kun, what did you think of the tournament?!" MofuMofu ask us with bright eyes as he sits down on a sofa in front of us.

"It was so awesome! Team battles are really great, but I'm a bit shocked at how much better a few mechs are." Honestly I still don't know what were you two thinking when you made the Elefante.

"It was so much fun! Especially the last fight, I was on edge all through it!" Mikoto says with a giant smile, leaning just a bit forward, eyes shining while wiggling both hands up and down.

"Shirogane-kun, could you explain me how you came up with those wall-kicking moves? It's the first time I've seen them, and I watch a lot of replays of the Top fights!" Andoku asks me, with clear expectation in his unblinking stare as he takes out a notepad and a pencil, which makes his partner chuckle.

I try to explain the Albright Turn and the consecutive jumps I did in the tunnel as best as I can, without mentioning anything about the dream I recalled midfight. Yet, he kept his eyes firmly on mine, noting everything down so quickly as if this were some top secret interview or something. It's kind of embarrassing…

They keep firing questions at us, about why I picked the Takemikazuchi, how it felt to play, how did Mikoto felt the Xao-Myun compared to its rivals in its game style, which mechs and weapons we thought were unbalanced or unfair, and what would we do to fix it.

It's no wonder this game is rocking it right now, with such passionate developers behind it.

"Well, we've kept you long enough. They should be ready with the set up, are you two ready to try the new version?!"

"Hell yeah!"

"Of course we are! Let's go Takeru!"

We then go back into a hallway and into the showroom again, walking as if pushed by the wind, as both of them tell us to keep what we see as a secret if at all possible, that we won't be able to take pictures of the new mode and all, but since we had no such plans the conversation devolved into more gameplay talk, to the distress of the official Zegga staff that follows us. Reaching the showroom again, this time we go to a terminal in the far back, separated from the rows of units used for the tournament.

"Knock yourselves out! I hope you have fun with it!" MofuMofu says with a giant grin.

Man, oh man! This is gonna be great! I share a look of pure joy with Mikoto before boarding the terminal.

As I jump in the seat and fasten the belts the screen lights up. The opening starts playing after the usual logos.

"Oohh! Hear this thing! It's so epic!"

The menu music is so much hype! It has some trumpets making it sound like you're charging into a war or something. Wait, these vocals… Oh my God, is it JellyProjection?! Shit, they got them for the opening of the game?! This is so fucking awesome! I'm definitely buying the OST as soon as it goes out.

The epic intro ends, the usual angular logo appears with a slick cyber theme, but unlike the prior version this menu looks kinda ashen, burnt and bruised. There's also a small and low rumble in the synth that's in the background music, kinda ominous.

"Man, even the menu song is a banger. Now, let's see… this is a single player terminal. Damn, now I wanna keep fighting in a team with Mikoto after the tournament. Oh well, let's get this started! Campaign Mode, here I come!"

An anime opening of stars and galaxies plays out, the colony ships from the first game slowly come into view at the distance, a slight trail of light in the vacuum of space. So it is a direct sequel, huh.

The year is 213X. Humanity has survived the onslaught of the cyber legion after Tango's rebellion.

Now, all the surrounding star systems are in control of the solar system's Human Race.

Decades of peace and prosperity dulled humanity's fangs, they stopped to develop weapons and starcraft,

instead choosing to live in gigantic star colonies filled with luxuries and pleasures that numbed the mind.

"Man, this opening looks so sick!"

The anime-like 2D models, the music, the ambiance sounds. It looks like I'm truly in space, flying in some gigantic fortress or something, watching the stars from the window. Even the futuristic yet luxurious relax zones of the cities look, you know, smooth. Kinda hard to believe just a few years ago the polygons were all spiky and shit.

But this peaceful dream is about to be shattered by a horrible adversary…

…that was nothing like anything mankind has ever faced in its history.

From where they come from? Nobody knows.

What are they after? Nobody knows.

But what we do know is… they want us dead.

And they will stop at nothing to kill every one of us!

This is so hype! I knew it was gonna be the aliens! I wonder what kind of twist they are going for. Would be kinda lame if it ends up being the same cosmic horror ending, like most mech animes have gone for since Gospelion. Since they got JellyProjection for the opening, maybe they got some other insert songs? Would be awesome if this had an endgame like GhettaMech Armageddon.

The cinematic plays on, showing a large crater from which shadowy silhouettes crawl out from, surrounded by the many mechs of the franchise.

They came in a meteorite, and started attacking us without warning.

They don't speak, they feel no fear, they don't retreat.

It's almost as if they were soulless beasts.

Since we don't know where they come from but know that they're our enemies we decided to call them…

…the BETA.

A cold shiver went down my back, something turned in my stomach just now. "W-What did he say? The BETA?" Why do I feel like I've heard that somewhere?

Beings of Extra Terrestrial Origin, Adversaries of the Human Race.

BETA for short, are the monsters that have destroyed the outer colonies and planets of our space empire.

Short animated cutscenes on the screen show the monsters destroying a military base, blowing up an entire city with lasers, and ripping apart many mechs from the game in a matter of seconds.

Laser Class, Tank Class, Grappler Class. That's the name on the screen referring to these monsters as they curbstomp and massacre the forces of the game. The opening continues to play, but I'm no longer focused on it.

Like a dam breaking apart, vivid images and voices flood my head. Strong pain like I've never felt before sears up, as if a pair of screwdrivers were injecting themselves right under my ears. Grabbing my head and massaging it, gritting my teeth, I try to take deep breaths and relax, to touch my eyes and blink fast, but this time the daydream doesn't stop.

The sounds of the opening fade away, the animated cutscenes fade away. The pain only gets higher, tighter, as if I had a noose on my neck. And the floor is fading.

Leaning back onto the seat, closing my eyes real tight, the screwdrivers pierce in, ears ringing as if I were right besides those big speakers from a concert while someone decided to blast off hardcore metal. It bangs, and slams, and hurts, and hurts so much.

As the sounds seem to ease up a bit, as I slowly open my eyes again, something… something hazy comes into view. Distorted, obscured, kinda like seeing something behind a glass of water. As if I were daydreaming again, or remembering something that… happened a long time ago…

A ruined house in the middle of a destroyed town, is what this looks like after everything comes into focus. Wait a- Is that my house? What's that thing to the side? A robot? What the… Why is Sumika's house crumbled apart?

Why am I seeing a ruined version of my neighborhood? What is going on here?

Then, after blinking, I find myself in some sort of office with a large blue flag in a wall, babel towers of papers filling the place. Wait… Yuuko-sensei? Why does she have a gun? Why is she aiming it at me?

…Why does this hurts to watch? Ugh… Clawing at my head, Sensei's voice distorted by static, she seems willing to shoot me. Why would you- I'm not your enemy! Why are you giving me that blazing gaze of anger?! I… Sensei, you're… to me…

No time left to process what the hell that was, as I put a hand over my mouth and blink again everything mixes and swirls, I see myself running in the school track field for some reason. I fall to the ground and eat dirt, as I stand up someone scolds me. But that harsh voice is… And looking up, I see her. The hell is Marimo-chan doing in a military uniform?!

Flashes of images of Marimo-chan in an odd formal dress come up, sometimes scolding me, sometimes encouraging me. In a rooftop, in some sort of odd barebones room, in an odd place as light is showered on me and I can only see her silhouette.

The freezing grip on my neck eases up, I take a really, really deep breath that clears away most of the clogging in my chest, then another image comes up. I can only hear her voice while I look at some remains of a robot, the sun seems to be setting. Distorted by the static, her voice doesn't sound hostile now. It's… heartwarming, as she always was. Like a warm blanket on a winter night.

Then, without me actually moving or wanting to, my vision turns around trying to see her-

I couldn't stop the image nor the sounds, I cannot look away. Marimo-chan's head is being bitten off by a monster.

There's an eye ball rolling down up to my feet.

Pieces of flesh teared into the floor.

Teeth falling from its roots, like small wind chimes in front of an incoming typhoon.

Behind her… the monster… the bastard…

…No, a Soldier-Class. That's a Soldier-Class BETA.

How do I know that?! A Soldier-Class…

And in a flash, both she and the monster… were blown up. Disappearing in an explosion of red.

Again feeling my stomach turn, I claw at my mouth and gag, sharp and sudden pain on my sides and lower back, as if just stabbed. The static getting higher, the screwdrivers now going up, the back of my eyes also begins to hurt as a cold sensation sinks into me.

Another image flashes, not giving me time to even get my shit together. Tama's corpse is being held by something while starting to become deformed. Before I could react in any way to the vision, an explosion rings out.

I can hear Meiya's voice! But what is she doing here?! But… What the hell is a Takemikazuchi doing here? It looks so… real, as it slices the monster's tentacles. The machine looks, like, legit for real. She sounds odd, though. Nothing like I know her to be, on edge, desperate…

…Different.

Air seems to be missing from my lungs when Meiya's face appears before me, she's bleeding badly. Crying, whimpering in pain. Again, it feels as if I were being forced to breath into sand.

And then, she looks my way, twitching, hiccuping, shivering as if electrocuted. Her eyes crying non-stop, the blood running down her forehead wanting to compete with the tears.

"I would like to die… by the hands of the man I love!"

There was a blast.

And then, silence.

It felt as if I were being rocked back and forth, like a very violent roller coaster spinning in all directions.

And then, quietness.

I could hear people cheering from somewhere.

And yet, it feels so cold, so empty.

And as I look up, I find someone near me. There she was, the white haired girl…

Kasumi Yashiro. Repeating the same words, like in my dreams.

"Sumika-san is dead. Your fight is already over!"

No.

"Sumika-san is dead. Your fight is already over!"

No, don't fuck with me…

"Sumika-san is dead. Your fight is-"

Shut the fuck up! What fight?! What the hell… Why are they dying?! What's going on here?!

Blinking, I see myself hugging the girls of my school group as they cry. They tug at me, they pull at my shoulders. They cry and cry, staring intently, begging me not to send them away. They're going somewhere. Far away.

It hurts.

I see Sumika having some sort of breakdown, screaming kill over and over again before almost falling flat on her face to the floor.

It hurts. Stop this…

And there she is, lying still in that pod while hugging a wooden rabbit. Silent. Cold. Stiff. Dead.

It hurts. Let this all end… dammit…

And, once more, the eternal wasteland comes into view. Thousands of BETA in the radar. We don't have enough supplies. I can only watch as my squad gets killed by the monsters. No, not just my squad. The whole army we were fighting with got killed. In the wasteland and inside the earth. And then, the black fire… The G-Bomb. No, not just one. Like a downpour of arrows coming from atop a rampart, that is what the unending stream of black fire looks like to me, as everything else in front vanishes from sight, both BETA and whatever remains were left of my comrades.

And then, silence again.

Everyone is gone.

How many times?

How many times did I do this?

Why?

For what?

In the end, did I save anyone? How did this madness end?!

And then, as if beckoned by my question, like a child timidly peeking from behind a door, a small glimmer comes up at the edge of my vision. And slowly, it grows, and grows, until the black fire is all I can see, shapes and voices distorted within the gigantic orb. Those images and sounds, the nightmares I had since-

"No, these aren't nightmares. These are… all the lives I've lost."

It wasn't a dream, it truly did happen. I was sent to another world. A world in ruins. Where everybody had different lives. Where everybody fought just to live one day more.

"Haa… Haa… It hurts…" My neck wrings tightly again, chest and eyes hurts as I try to suppress the acid that comes up from my stomach. I don't know if I should be clawing at my head, ears, stomach, or all at once.

And the echoes repeat themselves as the images rush through, making me relieve the unlimited pain I've had to endure across all my extra lives in that alternative world. The sting of seeing my beloved leave to a distant world, the horror of seeing and hearing Marimo-chan and my squad be slowly devoured by BETA before my very eyes, the shock as I realized everyone was again dead at the end of Kashgar.

I'm a coward.

I ran away.

I forgot them.

…I failed them. I couldn't save them. I just sat on the XG while they risked their necks. They had asked me to remember them. To be there, so that someone knew they had lived, suffered, and gave their lives for a future that seemed lost.

And what did I do?! I ran away! My eyes become strained, but they remain dry. I'm coward that cannot even cry.

It wasn't enough. Nothing was enough.

I… I… did kill the Superior. I did it. We did it. Their sacrifice wasn't… but…

A stalagmite pierces my heart as the memories come back. The Captain's and Kashiwagi's sacrifice, Haruka-san getting squashed in the control room, Hayase remaining in the Reactor to blow it up. The base getting destroyed, Munakata and Kazama sent to medbay, Akane left in bandages.

The perfect solution doesn't exist, you will always have to sacrifice something. At least I got the world twenty years more in the fight, according to Yuuko-sensei.

…But remembering that doesn't make me feel any better.

I… loved them. All of them. They were my guiding light. I could fight on because they were there. Alone, I'm worthless. I can't even… I can't even cry for them.

And now I'm here, enjoying a peaceful life. Like a coward that ran away. But what else could I have done?! There was nothing I could…

"Hic… Nothing, really? Why couldn't I at least save one of them?!" To give them the happiness we have here, even if only for a short while.

I wanted to keep fighting, to protect the base we lived in, laughed in, cried in. I wanted to stay there, where they needed my piloting skills.

But no! You had to back down! What did it matter that you were no longer a conductor?! Why didn't you stay?! Why did you run?! Why did you break the promise?! Why did you forget them?!

A loud noise plays in my headphones. A noise I recognize all too well. That rumbling… that avalanche-like shiver in the ground… Tank-Class closing in. Two hundred of them.

BETA, it's all because of you. Because… No, the Americans too. The bastards that plotted Alternative V. The bastards that used us as fodder just to save their own lawn. Fucking shitheads, the world ended up flooded because of you! And then… And then…

"Flooded? What the fuck- How do I even…"

As I shiver in cold, a distorted image of Sensei and Kasumi appears, but I can't hear them well. What are they-

I see myself ripping through the BETA in a hive, someone else dropped an S11 into a Reactor. What are those… Rafale. Those are Rafale along the Raptors and Takemikazuchi units. Did I always know about those models?

The wasteland appears again, I'm crying for some reason. Lamenting a comrade that died, a comrade I found within the hive? Who was- Ugh! Acid up my throat, a knot on my gut, vision going double. Someone, left abandoned. I… crushed them? Spared them the pain?

"K-Kgh… Gwaa! Cough! Cough! Shit, what the-" hiccuping and out of air, pain and pain at the pit of my throat.

More and more death is all I see. Pointless, it feels empty and void of meaning. The fighting, the briefings, the nights staring at the sky. Hope had withered in that world, until we gave our blood to water its roots once more.

I should be proud, I should be happy. We did it. We changed history, we avoided that rotten future that still has me coughing by merely thinking about it.

…But what's the point in saving the world if there's nothing left for you? There's no joy in martyrdom. Those that have to carry on find no happiness in this solitude.

In the end, above everything else, above every formal speech, above every duty that was thrust upon my shoulders, above any and all excuses I may hide behind-

"I failed them. I wasn't enough… to protect them, any of them."

I had to leave behind Chizuru, Tama, Mikoto and Kei.

…I killed Meiya.

My failure to operate the XG in a better way forced Sumika to overheat.

I abandoned Kasumi over there, I left despite knowing she'd be all alone. Left despite knowing Sensei would be made responsible for everything, having no more allies to count on.

I knew all that and still left. And to top it all off, I forgot it all. I failed them.

…No, they didn't even believe in me. They tampered with my radar, right? Yeah, Meiya fucked up my radar. Because they didn't think I had it in me to move forward. Neither Yuuko nor my squadmates, not even Sumika or Kasumi.

They all thought I was going to screw it up, that I was the weakest link in the squadron. That's why they sent me to the XG, where all I could do was fire missiles. They didn't even… after all we went through together… they didn't-

A sound beeps in my headphones. The Tank-wave approaches, the red fills my view. These bastards… They… They… The BETA… The Superior… They took-

It feels cold.

Really, really cold.

As everything seems to dim, as the light seems to go out within a cockpit that is in emergency mode, I look up.

Up to the sky, to the stars.

Raising my hand towards it, trying to and failing as it falls limply by my side. Arms slightly burn, can't even move my shoulders before the pressure sends a twinge of pain into my back.

Everything grows blurry, dampness in my eyes, can't feel my limbs at all.

And a final image.

A rocket that departs, far away into the stars.

A parting word I couldn't say.

A face I'll never see, a voice I'll never hear, hands which will never embrace me again.

And then, silence.

Absolute.

Total.

Unbreakable.

Complete, utter silence as everything blurs to dark.

…

Something rumbles, shakes in my hands. Hands that shake as my lips do as I blink and a few tears fall off. BETA, everywhere. No one left besides me, the Red Zone of the Tank-Class covering my sight and radar.

You… You motherfucking sons of an eldritch bitch!

"Give me back my squad!"

---

Around fifty minutes later.

(Outside the terminal.)

---

Legs feel as if they were chained to an iron ball. Stomach is empty, eyes hurt as if I had been using a PC without any light for hours. The lower side of my back is completely stiff, and my throat is a bit dry after shouting so much.

…None of that comes even close to whatever the hell is piking at my heart right now. I might as well have deepthroated a Fort's stinger. And yet, I still can't cry. Seems like I've no more tears left to shed. Not even for my loved ones.

"That was truly something else!" MofuMofu's brimming with happiness, voice high and spirits further beyond. "I didn't expect you to make it to Stage 12 in your first go!"

"As expected of one of the champions, you're a truly great player! So, what did you think?!" Andoku is delighted too.

"It was… a nice experience." Calm down, deep breaths.

"You look rather down, Shirogane-kun. Did the game tire you out?" They're obviously minding their words. I'm sure I must look like a mess.

"Yeah, I just got a bit too scared on one of those… gory cutscenes." Why was there a scene of… what happened to Marimo-chan built into the game anyways?

They then start talking with Mikoto about the game. I answer when they ask me some stuff, but I can't calm my hands. They're hiding in my pockets, shaking like a kitty in front of a bulldog.

It was like doing catharsis, killing all those BETA. Thank God there were no mics, I couldn't restrain myself and ended up screaming my pain away. I think I broke the joysticks, too.

Luckily, the rush of emotions has subsided by now. I can still feel my heartbeat in my chest and this cold ant march creeping its way up my back. I know, we did what we had to. But I couldn't do anything for them. I know I got lucky to survive, I know Alt V was hanging over our heads if we took too long to complete the mission, but I still feel like shit. Not only at the outcome, but at my own lack of resolve.

Who gave a shit I wasn't a conductor anymore? Wasn't my willpower what tied me to that timeline? Why the fuck didn't I want to stay and fight? Yeah, sure, I admit you were right XO, being the sole human that ever talked to a BETA would have gotten me in the nasty lists. But still, that also made me a valuable asset, right? Why did I just accepted it was all over?

…Why did I forget about you all? Sumika, was this your doing? Trying to give me a fresh start? Then, why even try if I'll end up recalling anyways? Sigh…

Head hurts a bit, and I'm a tad bit dizzy. To be honest, I don't even remember what hour it is. All these memories… Ugh. Just thinking about it is enough to make the pain blaze up. I just gotta stay chill and make it back home.

But if they made a game about the BETA, that means stuff is coming into this world. Or is this a coincidence? If my memory isn't wrong, Sensei and Kasumi said I no longer was a conductor before I returned, and that I'd end up in a world aligned to Sumika's wishes as she fixed whatever it was required to be fixed. So everything should be fine. I think.

All I wanna do right now is go home and bury myself under my pillow to cry until I fall asleep. Guys, Valkyries, Kasumi… Sorry. I forgot about you. I couldn't keep my promise. Sigh…

"So, is there anything you didn't like? Or that you would change?"

Seeing their almost pleading faces, I give them some pointers based on what I felt different from this game and how I remembered the simulators to be back home.

Home? Which world is my home? I guess both are, in a way.

They keep throwing questions at us, looking like abandoned puppies, so I suggest to them the idea of the hives as if it just occurred to me. That seems to pique their curiosity even further. So they didn't knew of the hives before, huh. Maybe it really was just an unfortunate coincidence?

When they finish questioning us, they give each of us a really sleek box made out of polished steel with the game's logo imprinted on it. Inside were the gold medal that had Valgern-On Cyber Legion Champion written in it and a special GR card with our names. They say it's a special present from them to the last champions of their first game. Now that I think about it, this is the first thing I win in my life. I never got awarded in the other world and I never won any kind of competition back here. Life sure is weird.

"You have no idea how thankful we are. The hive idea is really a stroke of genius!"

"We hope you keep playing Valgern-On! And we'll be looking forward to the next tournament you participate in! It was a pleasure Shirogane-kun, Yoroi-kun!"

"No, it was our pleasure! Right, Takeru?"

"Yeah, it was… an honor to be the first to play the new version." I force a smile and nod. I can't lose it here. I won't cry, not here.

The duo gives us one last handshake and someone from the staff takes us out of the showroom, back to the normal hallway. Giving us a bow, she sends us off and, as slow as a snail, I turn around and begin making my way to… Where to? Wait, where was the exit here? Eh, let's just follow Mikoto.

"Man! This was awesome! Takeru, how did you get so far?! It was really hard hitting those small red spiders," her tone had sunflowers blooming in every word.

She looks so… alive, dazzling, happy. Heh… At least something good came out of winning this tournament. Glad to see you enjoying yourself so much.

"Well, they're Tank-Class. Being fast bastards is what they do best."

"Yeah, but when the big one with the claws appeared I was like 'This is the boss!'. But then another popped up, and another, and then there were like ten of 'em!"

"Their numbers are their biggest strength, after all. If it were just one it would be too easy to dodge and kill them."

"Hey Takeru, what's wrong?" She lowers her brows, giving me one nice and direct stare.

"…Hmm? Nothing's wrong."

"Liar. You've been super cold since you got out of the terminal, in front of THE makers of the game, too." You're so sharp at the most inconvenient times, you know?

"I… don't know if my brain is exhausted or I'm basking in the afterglow of winning this thing." I say as calmly as I can, looking up to avoid worrying her. Err, right, him.

This is gonna be as hard as when I first got into the other world. But I guess that doesn't really matter, Mikoto's a friend here. That won't change.

"Oh, I see. It is kinda hard to believe we ended up winning, you think people will recognize us in the street?" Quick to change moods, she… he's all smiles now.

"Please no, the last thing I need is people bothering me while I run." I already will have enough trouble facing Sumika without crying my eyes out for awhile. Or any of you, for that matter.

"Well, but man… I can't believe we're the champions!"

"Yeah…"

"I am so going to brag about this for months, you know."

"Haha… Guess fighting so hard had a nice reward."

"Hey, Takeru… You sure you're alright?"

"Huh? Yeah, why?"

Playing with his hair, lips twisting in as his eyes leave mine for a sec, he tries to hold my gaze. "Well, you've been staring at me rather… weirdly. It's odd for you to be so sincere and honest, too."

…Can you blame me? I just remembered about- No, this isn't my Mikoto. He isn't even a she. Chill down, your Mikoto is… gone. And I can only hope the fleet made it safely to the Barnard System. Clawing at my palms inside my pockets, I release a sigh as heavy as a set of full gear.

"Sorry, that gory scene really messed me up."

"Was it really that bad?"

"…Yeah. It was horrible, for real." I hold back the urge to bite my lips as the memory flashed for a sec in my mind.

"Well, don't worry. Let's go meet the rest and then we'll go get that ice cream!" She- He returns a smile as warm as my Mikoto's at me.

…Yeah. Yeah, he's right. I'll see the rest now. Huh… Right, everyone is… alive here.

Yeah, they're all alive. Safe and happy.

Huh. Weird, how just recalling that talk as we ate before the tournament is enough to make me feel giddy, to smile a bit. They're all truly safe and sound here, living their own lives in peace. Sigh…

But, is this even safe? What if… that stuff makes its way here, like when I came back for the theories? No, calm down. You're no longer a conductor. Yuuko said it herself, now that Sumika's wish to see me again was fulfilled I'm no longer an anomaly. That's why I'm back here.

That's why… I can spend some time with them. It's alright for me to enjoy that… Right, Sensei?

"Takeru? Hey, are-"

"Sorry, Mikoto. I was just lost in thought. Let's… Let's go." I smile back at her- him, and we again walked back to the hall.

We go to the tables and start looking for everyone, but we can't find them. Where could they be? I mean, they must have seen the fights, right? Maybe something came up and they had to leave? Let's see if they're near the entrance. I can also take in some fresh air while I'm at it.

"Mikoto, I'll go look at the entrance."

"Okay! I'll check the other side of the bar."

Turning back, following the maps on the wall, I pace towards the exit. A few people look at me and smile, probably because of the final, so I nod and smile back. Once the stream of visitors pipes down, my feet start to drag on the floor. Sighing hard, I close my eyes and stop, leaning on a wall for a second.

"Okay, inhale, exhale… Inhale, exhale… Calm down. Remember Sensei's words."

The more you remember, the worse it might get. It's all right, nothing is going to happen. No accidents, no deaths. I move my shoulders up and down, eyes still closed as I exhale again, resting a hand on the cold wall to propel myself off it. The loop is over and done, you're no longer a Conductor. But, what's up with the BETA in the game? Why did I regain these memories? No, why did I forget everything in the first place? If Sumika wanted me to forget, why did I remember? Why did the BETA appear in Valgern-On along the Takemikazuchi?

While walking towards the entrance, I notice someone closing in on me from behind, matching my pace. No, there's two of them. Calm down dude, you're no longer in the military. I take a turn in a hallway, maybe I'm being paranoid and they're just leaving.

…Nope, still following me. Coincidence? After taking a glance at the entrance and seeing that the girls were not there, I pick up my pace as I take random turns. Thanks to the maps in the walls I'll end up in the lounge, anyways. But those two keep following me, and they're speeding up too. What the hell is going on?! Why are they following me? I ain't walking particularly fast either, if the staff wanted something they could jog for a bit or call out to me.

As I reach the lounge, two men in dark suits were with Mikoto in the elevator just before the door closed. They were holding him by his shoulders, his expression stiff and tight. Scared.

My hands tighten into fists, I start taking loud steps towards the elevator, heels stomping the floor. Damn, what the hell? We just won the tournament, what is this shit?! How dare they lay-

"Excuse me, sir, could you be Takeru Shirogane?"

The two that were following me catch up. Both sporting the same dark attire the bastards in the elevator had, both wearing sunglasses. But their uniforms don't have the logo of the TGS nor do they have the ID card dangling from their neck like the rest of the staff. So, some idiots think they can fuck with us, huh. I'm not in the mood for this shit.

"Why do you ask? Do you need something?" Not even bothering to clear my frown, I glare at them.

Which makes the one who spoke up take a step back, cough softly into a hand hastily. "Forgive me, it's that… that I saw your fight in the finals and I wanted to ask you some tips. For my son, he likes this game a lot."

Nice bluff jackass, you better keep walking back or I'm gonna punch your brains outta your head.

"Excuse me, but I'm kinda tired and looking for my friends. Sorry." I fake a bow without losing eye contact with them as I start to put some distance between us.

Which makes the other guy shake his head, giving out a short sigh as he pinches his nose. "This is a pointless waste of time. Shirogane-san, we'd like you to come with us. Please, follow us to the elevator," he asserts, rising his voice and taking a stoic pose in intimidation.

Sincerity is a virtue, I'll give you that. But you laid your hands on my friends… And I'm not feeling merciful today.

"I refuse. I have no reason to go anywhere with you, and you can't force me to follow you." The hell do you want, bastard? Are they… Do they want to harm them for some reason? Is this some payback from a rich asshole that we defeated in the games?

"Please don't make a scene, we were just ordered to take you somewhere. No harm will come to you," the first guy says, trying to sound as amicable as possible while waving both hands down, slightly wincing.

"Would you at least let me find my friends? I'd like to tell them to wait for me." I can tell the second guy is upset by my stalling, unlike the first guy who is trying to remain chill.

"It won't take long, someone just wishes to… speak with you. Please, we assure you we have no bad intentions. We rather not have to insists, could you follow us in good faith?" he says, giving his partner a glare, placing a hand in front of him.

He sounds sincere enough. But I can't just ignore the other's glare and posture, and the fact that I saw them taking Mikoto forcefully with them. Nobody lays a hand on my squad and gets away with it. Even if they're not my squad here.

Smirking first, I make a gun with a hand, pointing the barrel at 'em. "So we jump to threats now? What makes you think I'll go with you?!" The staff is clearly looking away, the onlookers take their hurried leave, none of them have any intention to help me or get involved. What the hell is this?!

"C'mon kid, stop acting tough. If you don't cooperate I'll bite your head off!"

"Hey, we can't hurt him! We were ordered to escort him!"

"Screw that! Why do we gotta be so respectful towards a bunch of kids?! In my days-"

"What did you say you'd do?"

They both stop arguing and look towards me. The tough bastard smirks, chuckling a bit. "What's up, pup? Scared?"

"Say it again, c'mon. Say it." You've no idea how horrible it is. To see someone get decapitated. What the fuck do you know?

One of his brows twitches, lips contort into a scowl. "Eh? Hey, what's with that tone? I said I was gonna bite your head off, brat! Now, stop talki-"

"What makes you think I won't chop your head off first, motherfucker?" I spit out venom, cracking my knuckles as I do.

They look shocked, gaping for a sec. I'm trying to hold back, but I'm sure I must look enraged going by their expression, and that slight flinch on their postures.

"What do you-"

"I'm trying real hard not to snap here. Could you do me a solid? Leave me the fuck alone. Oh, and you wouldn't happen to know where my friends are? The dude I was with in the tournament should have been around here, but…" I take a glance to the elevator before looking at them again.

I don't like this. Maybe it's the memories of my training, but I really feel like beating them and getting some answers quickly would be the better choice. But I don't know if I'm being watched or what they want with us. I'm not a soldier and I don't have Sensei to cover my mistakes in this world. If I harm either of them is off to prison. Then, why is nobody doing anything? If someone wants something with me, why did they take my squad with them?!

"Who do you think you are talking to?! That's it! I'm gonna teach you some manners!" The second guy's face goes red as he charges at me.

He launches a jab at me, using his taller stature to try and overpower me. I block, gliding outwards by using his own strength against him. My fingers dig into him, grabbing the arm with a vice grip, and after planting my heels firmly on the ground, after tensing my lower back and recalling all the times Kei did this to me, I lift the guy off the ground, sending him crashing against a table with an STA. Compared to her you're a rookie, Pops. No way in hell I'll lose in hand-to-hand combat to anyone other than my Kei.

Dishes fly off, cups are broken, and the circle of the table gets split in half, the legs crumbling away. The guy is out cold, and the poor people that were nearby yell as they move away, yet they don't look away. Fucking onlookers, when they harass me it's all well and good, but the second I defend myself you start with the nasty and judgmental glare. Heh, typical.

The other guy is still gaping, before looking back at me very slowly. As I take a step forward, he rises both hands in a hurry, "Please calm down! We really mean no harm to you! If my partner offended you in any-"

"Shut it. I'm not following you. Not unless you answer my questions. Who sent you and why? Where are my friends?!" Looking straight ahead into his eyes, I take a fighting stance.

"I'm sorry, but orders are orders. I cannot answer your questions, but I can assure you your friends are-"

THWACK!

A clear hit to the jaw before he finished blabbering sends him onto a nearby table, making the ashtray fly off. I'm done with this. You think I'll believe you?

"Who sent you? What do you want from us?" I say in the most cold, threatening voice I could muster while grabbing and lifting him by the collar.

"…I can't tell you who, but we were told to take you and your friends with us."

"Where?"

"Floor thirteen, that's where we have to take you. I swear, they're fine and we won't hurt you or anything." Disciplined one, aren't you?

I take a look around the room. The staff is staring but they won't get closer, the normal customers are whispering and shooting venomous glares my way. So, I'm alone in this.

"Alright. You'll take me there, but one wrong move-"

"We mean no harm to you."

"Tell that to your friend."

I let him go and step back, the guy goes and tries to wake up his partner, to no success. Yeah, that ain't happening. I threw him with all my might, he's knocked out cold and probably won't wake up for awhile.

"Okay, please follow me," the man says as he gives up on waking up his partner.

We get to the elevator, he presses the button and a moment of waiting in silence ensues.

I was kinda expecting more of them to come pouring out of it as the chime of arrival rings out, but it was empty inside as the door parts away. Lodging myself in a corner, the elevator soon begins to move.

I can only hope the rest are safe. Of all the times where shit could hit the fan, it had to be now. I'm feeling awful, having trouble keeping dark thoughts out of my head. The more I think, the more images of them suffering in the other world pop up in my mind.

"We were told you were a rather happy-go-lucky fellow. Didn't expect you to be so strong. Do you practice a martial art?"

I stare at him in silence and he looks away. Can't exactly say I received military training.

Now that I think about it, my body feels a bit different. I wasn't in this good shape as of late. Did my memories trigger some sort of causality effect on me? But… I shouldn't be a conductor anymore, no, the pipeline should have been severed. What gives?

"We are here," he says, nodding back at me.

The door opens, there's nobody waiting outside. I look around, trying to see if there's a trap. Can't hear anything either. The hallways on this floor are wider than the ones back down, and it looks like this place is some sort of high class restaurant or something. Glass separates different sections of tables and areas, everything looks so regal, as if meticulously crafted to perfection. Pottery of the fine class can be seen everywhere, a few paintings guarded by glass also decorate the walls.

I don't sense anyone's presence nearby. Was he telling the truth then?

We start walking towards a grand door on the other end of the hallway, saying nothing, as I look around and about at the details of the place. Looks like this is the VIP floor, but considering there was an event just now, one would expect at least some customers or members of the dev team would be here enjoying some good quality food or-

A sudden noise behind me, a rattle of a chair or a vase.

Quickly moving away, I barely dodge a hand that was outstretched, lunging for my shoulder. Shortly after, hurried footsteps and shadows crawl out of hiding.

"Restrain him! We have to confirm that he has no dangerous objects in his possession. Take anything that could be used as a weapon," says the guy that tried to grab me as four other guys surround me, my escape routes.

"Then you might wanna cut my arms while you're at it! I'm done with this shit!" I scream as I leap at them.

They clearly weren't expecting resistance, they aren't even in a fighting position. I punch one guy in the stomach, grab him, and throw him towards the others.

Another one grabs me from behind, trying to bind my arms, but I shake him off with an elbow to the ribs and a clear back punch to the face, my knuckles hitting his nose. The others then charge at me all at the same time.

You're on! Like I'd lose to a bunch of cowards like you!

THWACK! POW!

CRASH!

These guys aren't that strong. The other world's Kei and Meiya were better fighters when I had just arrived. Hell, I bet even Chizuru could beat them up without breaking a sweat.

THWACK! THUD!

The five of 'em lie in the floor, knocked out cold. A few vases were broken in the midst of the fight, and a glass is cracked. Well, whatever. They attacked first, serves 'em right.

Where did the one that brought me here go, though? I was hoping they really weren't enemies, but if the staff of the Tokyo Grand Salon is ignoring them… Who the hell are these guys?!

No, calm down. Keep those dark memories out of your head. Stay cool. I can't kill them or I'll go to jail. Then… What do I do?

I approach the grand door that's in the other end of the hallway slowly, sharpening my ears for any other hidden threats, looking around at the minimal doubtful shadow. What can I do? If these guys have guns I'm done for. I don't think I could use the trophy as a weapon. And what do they want with us, anyways? They better not be harming my squad or they'll regret it.

As I was getting closer to it, the door starts opening. A slender figure slowly comes out to the hallway, closing the door and pacing forward to meet my stride. Huh… She's…

"It has been a long time, Takeru-sama."

"Tsukuyomi-san?!"

"You've changed much in these years. Kagami-sama was right, you did take your training very seriously it seems. To knock out five of our guards, I cannot imagine what kind of regime you must have undergone," she says, giving me a one over, looking further into the hall, brows and lips lowering as she sees the other guys, I guess.

…Who the hell is this? Why is she here? Their guards, she said. You're telling me you sent these guys after us?! No, this world's Tsukuyomi-san would never… Tsukuyomi-san would never do something like this! Who are you?!

"What's the meaning of this, Tsukuyomi-san? I didn't think you were this kind of person."

"Please be at ease, Takeru-sama," She looks at me with her usual smile, speaking softly as she takes a single step closer, giving a minute bow. "You've misunderstood our intentions, our men had no reason to harm you. They were just following the security regulations of the Mitsurugi Group."

"Don't dodge the question," I retort, frowning. Is she the real Tsukuyomi? Why would she send them to after us? Makes no sense.

She briefly looks away, sending a hand to her hair. "I'm certain you'd understand why we went to such lengths to bring you to this location. Away from prying eyes."

"What do you mean? Is there any reason for you to send these guards after us? Why couldn't you come to talk to us yourself?"

"It was necessary to do it this way. We couldn't risk to be noticed by a journalist, or by anyone. That's why we reserved this whole floor, to be able to come to the meeting you invited us to."

…Invited to? Oh, right.

With all the memories flowing back I completely forgot I had called Tsukuyomi-san to tell her about today's meet up. Then it makes sense for her to be so secretive about all this. Still, it doesn't justify sending those guards after us so violently. What the hell were they even thinking?

Wait, but that would mean-

Meiya's here.

Her smiling face appears on my mind, then it changes to the other Meiya's face during her last moments as tears and blood covered her eyes. Before I shot the cannon on her.

"Takeru-sama, I believe I've always treated you fairly. Please relax, your friends are all within this room. I'm certain you know who sent for you and why it had to be this way."

Her screams come back to me. Everything keeps repeating itself like in a loop.

I hug Meiya tightly as she cries, as she tugs at my uniform. I force her to use the pass for the migrant fleet, she falls to her knees. She left without us saying our goodbyes.

The image changes once more, now filling my ears with static and shards of glass.

The Takemikazuchi flies in, gets rammed into the XG, she looks at me through the blood and tears, confessing her love to me. And I shoot. I kill her.

Then, everything loops again.

She cries and begs me not to leave her alone, not to send her away. But I do.

And again, it repeats.

She hiccups in pain, begging me to end her suffering, to fulfill our mission. I hesitate, but I shoot. I kill her.

And again, it repeats.

And again, and again, and again, and again-

No, make it stop! Don't look at me like that! Shut up! No! NO! NO! I didn't want to kill you! I never wanted to! Shut up!

The signs of my teammates in my radar vanish. Everyone is dead. And all I did…

…was sit down on the XG and press some buttons. I abandoned them as I abandoned Kasumi at the end. Why was I so proud about it?! That's no victory for me! I was… so useless…

The best war machine humanity ever made, a pseudo-life form with a quantum brain, a fucking gravity-bending force field and a legit beam cannon. I had all of that and I couldn't even… save anyone…

"So, please give me a smile! I prepared ample servings of the pudding you favored so much. Everyone is having a great time within the room. I truly do apologize for the behavior of my men. So please, come inside. Meiya-sama is-"

Blood fills my view, her crying face fades within the light, away to the stars. She's gone. Meiya is gone. My squad is gone.

Because of my uselessness. Because they felt forced to keep up a facade, so that I didn't screw it all up. And in the end… if it hadn't been for Meiya, I would have failed them all.

…I shouldn't have been the one to survive. I ended up leaving and forgetting. What kind of comrade am I? What kind of soldier, of friend am I? So weak, that Sumika felt it was necessary to erase my memories just so that I could sleep with a clear conscience despite the never-ending fuck ups I did.

I don't want to be here. I don't want to see her or anyone.

This world's Meiya… I never had a bond with her as strong as the one I shared with the other. Sure, I did remember the promise on my own after graduation, but in this world we just fooled around in school. We never shared anything as important as all the things I've shared with the other Meiyas. All the things she taught me, all the times she helped me get up when I thought I had hit a wall. And I ended up hurting her, I didn't realize how much I meant for her.

And I sent her away, alone, to who knows where.

And I killed her. Not even out of conviction, I made her suffer at the BETA's hands before I gathered the balls to shoot.

I know I'm important to this world's Meiya too, with the promise and all. I know I'm her first love and how dear I am to her. But I can't face her. I'm going to break down. If I'm having this much trouble keeping my emotions in check now, when I see her face… No, when I see everyone…

A small, slow flash, something faint within my palms. The letters they left me come back to me. All of them, in the end, all of them loved me. Well, maybe not love… but still, they held something for me in their hearts. And what did I do for them?

No, don't cry! Don't be an idiot!

I gotta get out of here before I break down, because if I do, I'll end up talking. And the last time I did that… Marimo-chan died.

Just focus! This world's guys are not my squadmates! They're just my… acquaintances. We're not as close. We're just old classmates. Yeah, we're no longer who we used to be. Time has done its thing, I'm sure. That's all.

"Takeru-sama? What is the matter? Would you be injured?" Tsukuyomi-san looks at me with downcast eyes, taking a few steps, slow and hesitant steps towards me.

Heh, I never though I'd see that worried face on her again. At least I know the guys are safe. Yeah, she's this world's Tsukuyomi-san, alright.

But I can't stay here. After all, the fact that I remembered is dangerous. Who knows if I'm still bringing causal information to this world. Not even Yuuko-sensei could explain clearly how did I keep my memories. She once said I might not get another chance to keep them, but here I am now. This just might be an oversight in her theory or something.

…And I can't allow anything to happen to my dear ones again because of my own stupidity.

"I'm leaving."

"Excuse me?"

Not even answering, I turn around and start walking towards the elevator. I take a few breaths, letting out the vile air that now fills my chest. Wiping the water in my eyes, my feet barely lift themselves up to take me down the hallway towards the elevator.

"Takeru-sama! What's the meaning of this? Weren't you the one who invited Meiya-sama today?!" She's enraged. Of course she is.

"Tell Mei… Tell Mitsurugi-san that I'm sorry. For everything."

Changing the way I name her is just a stupid way to not mix them both in my head. And I know apologizing to her for something that happened in a parallel world is the most stupid thing I could do.

But I needed to say it. I couldn't apologize to that world's Tsukuyomi for failing to protect her when I said I would.

And I can't allow this Meiya to fall to the causality's effect. She, who resigned months of her busy life and held such a pure love for me, doesn't deserve to die like that. And like hell I'll let the rest also be affected by this shit.

"Takeru-sama, what do you mean?"

"…I remembered. All of it."

"Remembered? You don't mean-"

"I couldn't keep my promise. I wanted to apologize. Now that I'm in a different world than hers, that's all I can do. I don't feel so good, so I'm leaving." I did make a promise with this Meiya, so hopefully I can make them misunderstand my words.

"Wait, Takeru-sama! If you truly remembered the promise you made, then-"

"Don't! Just… leave me alone, okay? I think it's for the best if… I don't see Mitsurugi-san again. I just wanted to be honest and apologize… for being a dense idiot who couldn't see what was in front of him. She deserves an apology and… a-and…"

Shit, I'm crying dammit! Get your shit together! You know what's at stake here!

"And give her my thanks. For everything she did for me. Goodbye, Tsukuyomi-san."

"Takeru-sama! Wait! At least tell her in person how you-"

A strong hold over my shoulder, firm and commanding, preventing me from moving. As if reacting instinctively, I grab what restricted me and throw it off me.

When I realized what I had done she was holding her head in pain, blood dripping from her forehead and dirtying a wall, looking at me with a confused gaze and tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry. Please Tsukuyomi-san, let's never meet again."

I run to the elevator. This time she didn't try to stop me.

---

Same day. Near 8 PM.

(Takeru's Room.)

---

I ran until I got to the train station, and after getting out of the train I ran home at full speed.

After resting under the shower, it feels like I'm calming down for real. So, grabbing a paper and a pencil, I sit down on my desk and start scribbling and noting down what I've remembered, trying to detail the events in the timeline.

After a few minutes, I stop and read what I wrote, images and voices coming back as I do. There's no gap in the dates and, even if some details are kinda fuzzy, I definitely remember a lot of stuff not only about last loop but about the other loops I took.

Last time all I had was some vague memory of my time after that Christmas when Alt IV was canned and the dread of Babylon, but now I have clear recollections of those days, even if some events are kinda mixed together.

Be it planting the sauntpaulias with Tama, visiting art galleries after a break with Chizuru, going to parks and mountains with Mikoto, simply resting with Kei, or getting slashed in half by Meiya as she insisted on training me in kendo. All of those memories clearly belong to that other world.

"Sigh… But some of these memories aren't from there."

Sumika gifting me a cake, me and Meiya rolling in the snow while we laugh, Tama asking for my help to nurse some of the kitties that gather in her dojo, Chizuru hiding behind me as I introduce her in a bombastic manner to my parents, or me and Kei cooking some yakisoba together before cuddling in the sofa as we watch TV.

Huh, so I also could have gotten together with any of 'em in this world. Wait, didn't I feel kinda weird during my first loops at times? Yeah… like, when thinking before the Christmas exchange party. Hmm. Maybe some data from other possible futures in this world seeped into that parallel world and that's what made me feel weird at times?

Sigh… I may never find an answer to that. And then there's one other future that I rather think was nothing but a nightmare. Marimo-chan… wouldn't do something like that to me.

R-Right?

But, well, back to the other world's memories. Pencil in hand, I write a particular date. December 25th, 2001, the first day officially under Alt V command of Yokohama Base. From that date onward, it's as if all the memories got bundled together. For example, I know for a fact I did multiple loops in my original state, to call it something. And in those loops I ended up in different relationships with the girls in my squad.

But instead of remembering them as separate things it's like those loops happened all at the same time, from the way I remember it. From that Christmas onward, I remember some days in which I was training the sword with Meiya but I was also watering some flowers with Tama. Perhaps it's because I wasn't that different through those loops, so the memories got jumbled together? I may never find an answer to that, too.

Shrugging as I see the light fading already, I stand up and turn on the light. Cracking my knuckles again, I resume my scribbling.

The coup and meeting Her Highness during it, making the XM3, the 00 Unit and the battles that came. No lakes there, I can recall most of last loop no problem.

Hmm… There is one thing, though. I can't remember what happened after Operation Iceberg on my first loops. I know that when I didn't die during it I ended up in… Hawaii? Seattle? Well, thing is, I remember some sort of briefing in which they told us the world got fucked hard after the G-Bombs fell. I think Eurasia and Northern Africa ended up under water, and that's as much as I can remember. The rest are just bits and pieces scattered.

I'm taking out a Reactor with Japanese, American and French troops, I kind of see Sensei and Kasumi but I can't hear them, and the Shogun was also there at some point, I think? If I die, it's the same regret as I claw at the skies, if I don't there's that hollowness when I cry after putting down a 'comrade'.

"Cough! Ugh… Just thinking about it all makes me sick to my stomach," I wipe my mouth, taking a deep breath to halt the echoes that try to resonate again. "Anyways, I will have to live as if I hadn't remembered anything, in the case that I'm still bringing data from that world here. Wish Sensei would have given me more intel about the next world I'd end up on."

She did say I'd find myself on a place crafted to meet Sumika's wishes, but then again, I'm not even dating her now. Don't know what I can do if things start happening, but assuming I somehow find a way to return to that world there's still the risk of losing my memories, since Sumika is no longer alive there. Worst case scenario I'll have to hope this world's Yuuko-sensei can somehow lend me a hand in reverting whatever it is that made me remember.

But that's just a what if. Things might be fine this time around since I didn't came back forcefully, and I had forgotten everything when I came back here. There's also the chance that my memories aren't the cause of the leak but an effect of it. In which case I'll have no choice but to take cards in the matter.

Resting the pencil on the desk, I stand up and stretch. As I do, I run a hand over my biceps and chest, feeling the firmness of the muscles. So my body returned to how it was in that world for some reason, the six-pack strikes back. I wonder why did I regain my past body's muscles? That may be yet another question I might never find an answer to.

Well, on one hand I'm glad I got my memories back. If I forgot it would be like everyone who died was truly gone forever. So long as I remember, they will live with me.

Ring! Ring!

I can feel my heart skip a beat as the phone started ringing. Is it the guys? I'm sure they would want to know what the hell happened to me. I mean, imagine you're chilling in the room, eating some good luxurious food with the whole gang, and then Tsukuyomi-san comes back with blood on her head and tells you:

"Takeru-sama beat the living shit out of our guards, started crying like a bitch, threw me like a ragdoll against the wall, and then went home. Shucks! Here, have some more pudding!"

I suppose I'll just have to make stuff up and keep our talks short. I guess… staying away from them is all I can do, until I see whether people lose their memories when interacting with me.

Dragging myself downstairs towards the phone, I pick up the receiver.

"…Hello, Shirogane residence."

Nobody answers back.

I wait for a few moments… Still nothing.

"Hello? Is this a prank? Because I'm gonna hang up." Not in the mood today.

"D-Don't!" A familiar voice yells on the other side of the line all of a sudden, as if stung by boiling water. "Please don't hang up, Takeru."

Meiya. Why is she calling me?! No, I can't risk any causality leak to affect her. If she interacts with me and, for whatever reason, I'm still pulling stuff here she's gonna die. And a horrible death, no less.

"…Takeru? Are you there?" Don't make that creaky voice. It's going to be hard enough with Sumika coming to college with me everyday. Let's make this quick.

"What can I do for you, Mitsurugi-san?" I grip the receiver tightly, closing my eyes. Gotta keep my cool, don't do anything stupid, myself.

"Why… Why do you not call me by my name, Takeru?"

"It's not proper, I… should show respect to you. I'm just a civilian."

"That's not true! You're important to me. Takeru, you don't have to-"

"Mitsurugi-san, did you need anything? I'm kinda busy at the moment." I can hear her trying not to cry. Or is she just angry? Definitely angry. Please get angry and hang up.

"Takeru, can we meet? I'd like to have a talk with you. In private."

"No, I already told Tsukuyomi-san all I had to tell you. If you have any business with me, you can simply tell me now." I can't drag this conversation anymore. I don't wanna hang up suddenly, but she IS stubborn.

"…Are you mad at me?" A small, almost broken, voice. Again, the acid of a Fort goes down into my chest.

"What?" Why would I be mad at her? Of all the people in this world, why would I be angry at her?

"You're not upset about… how I broke our promise?"

Promise? Oh, the promise in the park? When did she… Oh, so that's it. She thinks I'm mad because she married somebody else since I told Tsukuyomi-san I remembered everything. Thanks Meiya, you just gave me my excuse.

"I guess, I simply realized how stupid I was. There's no way I could stand by your side. I'm a normal person, I don't belong in your world." Sorry, I can't risk you dying in that way.

"That is not true! I've… I know you're faring well in college. And I do not care in the slightest how others see you. These two years… Takeru, I… When Tsukuyomi told me you had called me, I…"

Such a soft, sweet voice. So honest, so creaking. Like a falling glass before it's forever shattered, slowly as if walking over spikes. Scared.

Closing my eyes, the back of my head hurting, one of my hands clutches my collar. Heartbeats present in my neck, that odd ringing returns to my ears. And for a brief second, everything goes white.

A tall mountain, a heavy pain on my shoulders. Hits and pain over my arms, that feel swollen. It's hard to move my feet, my heels wail at the mere touch of the ground. But beyond that heaviness, that crushing sensation on my nape… there was warmth, the warmth of someone's hold over me.

By my side, as when we first met. Cradling my head, whispering a good morning as she embraces me. Those azure eyes… of my Meiya… as we lean closer, for a morning kiss as we hug each other, enveloping the other in our body heat.

"T-Takeru? Are you still listening?" She asks, making my breathing hiccup. "Please answer me, Takeru." Crumbling like a tree in front of a Destroyer, that's her voice as she hurries me to reply. So scared, so tense.

Why… Why do you have to make this so hard?! Couldn't you just have forgotten about me?! If you keep this up… you might die. Meiya doesn't deserve that fate. No, I can't- I won't let her die like that. Hell no, never. Forgive me, but if I have to be cruel to keep you away, I'll do it.

So, taking a sharp breath in, drying my mouth, knees shaking at the images that faintly continue coming up, I speak from my stomach, "Meiya."

"W-What?" She seems to have tensed up as I address her by name. "I'm here, listening."

"I was the one who broke our promise first." I can hear her gasping. I'm sorry. "I… fell in love with someone else. But now, we can't be together anymore." This is technically not a lie. Even when one of those I fell in love with was a parallel version of her.

"…What are you saying?"

"I dated her for some time, but…" I recall the times I had to send off the girls with the Alternative V fleet, eyes watering. "She had to leave. Somewhere far away. I'll probably never see her again." My voice breaks at the end, that moment of clawing at the stars choking all air outta my lungs for a sec.

The fact that the fleet may have actually exploded before reaching its destination will forever haunt me. No, now that I know that there are billions upon billions of BETA out there… Even if they reached the planet safely, the BETA would eventually make their way to it. They died too. There was no way they could have survived with so little people, unless the BETA took centuries, or maybe thousands of years, to reach the planet. And maybe even then…

Sigh… I truly never managed to save anyone, not a single person. Heh, to think Yuuko-sensei called me a hero before I left. You were the heroine, Sensei. Me? I just was the hammer in your hand… or maybe not even that.

"You're lying! That's… That's not true!" She screams into the receiver, not even holding back her anger. Her eyes are full of fire, I'm sure.

"So, this one's on me. Forgive me for not giving you an answer and running away when we went to the hot springs. I still don't have the guts to tell you in person. I'm sorry."

"Then, why did you call me?! Why were you so angry at the salon?! Why did you beat up the guards?! Why didn't you tell me this there, when you were the one who invited me?! Takeru, why!?"

And she finally snapped. Let's finish this, one more cold blow and she surely will never forgive me.

"Because I… wanted to apologize, because you deserve an apology. I'm sorry, for everything. Farewell, Meiya. Please don't contact me again."

"Takeru, wait! I haven't-" I hang up, slamming the receiver with a shaky hand.

"Please don't call back. Please forget about me. Just move on, and live a happy life. You deserve it, Meiya."

Slowly walking to the table, crashing onto a chair, I bury my face into my arms. Repeated strikes of cold on my back, tears that don't stop but also don't want to come out. Just limply lying onto the wood, clawing at my scalp.

This is for the best. I can't risk anyone dying. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if anything happened because of me. But, how can I know if I'm still a causality conductor? I mean, Sensei said I was no longer one after Sumika died since she was what turned me into one to begin with.

Should I try speaking with Yuuko-sensei? No, I should just act like I've been so far. Remember her advice, act as if you don't remember anything. Otherwise, I just may end up bringing all the death in that world here, and this time I might not be able to just infiltrate the U's nuclear reactor.

…I feel awful. I'm going to take another shower, fix me something to eat, and hit the sack early. After all next Monday is back to college, so I gotta start preparing my stuff.

Hopefully everything will stay the same. I just gotta deal with Sumika. I have to keep being cold to her, keep going alone to college, keep avoiding her on the weekends. She'll eventually get fed up with me, we stopped talking by the windows after we started college so it's a matter of time.

I turn the TV on as I go to the fridge, to have some background noise and keep the silence away. Let's see here… I'll use some eggs, the cabbage and…

"Yeah, this should do. Compared to the synthetic food we had back there, this is luxury."

Grabbing the stuff, getting the knife and table ready to start cooking, I simply rest everything there. Just looking at the food in silence as the news drone on. Looking back at my house, remembering my time with them here. My times with them over there. The now empty table, where alone I'm going to eat. As opposed to all the times when we…

"Why? Hic… Why did I…" I don't fight the tears this time, and they stain the wooden table that I was gonna use to cut the cabbage.

All that fighting. All that suffering. To end up being the only-

"No. W-Wipe those tears. I have one last duty to do."

To live. For all the ones that gave me this chance. I gotta protect this peace, so I have to calm down. I'll let it all out tonight, in the loneliness of my room. I can only hope I'm not a conductor anymore, otherwise…

Well, no getting depressed. In a few days I'll know. No, wait, I can test it out tonight. I just gotta talk with mom and dad when they come back, and if they forget me-

Then, what? What if Sensei forgets about me too before she can help me?

I'll have to steal the microwave and get into the reactor myself. Like hell I'll let this world get screwed again!

I hear the door being unlocked, their usual loud voices as they enter the house. Gulping down, feeling my body tense up, my vision grows hazy for a second as a shiver ran down my back.

Let's roll the dice. Will it be a one or a twenty?