The Knife's Edge

by AriannaCastellis1

Leana is a herald trainee with an unknown gift. As her wild mood swings continue to increase, can her friends and Companion help her, or will she have to leave Haven?

1. Chapter One: Stirings

The Knife's Edge

Chapter One: Stirrings

Leana quietly entered her history class and quickly found a seat. She was the first to arrive for today's lesson, but Leana had learned that first impressions were always important. She was nervous about starting classes here at the Collegium, not because she was a bad student, but because her father had always talked fondly of his time here when he was a bard trainee. He had always sounded wistful when he spoke of those days, as if he had wanted to somehow return to them.

A couple of years ago, Leana wouldn't have been nervous, she had always done well in her classes, except mathematics, and had even enjoyed learning. But, once her father had died, she began to have trouble. . . and not just with school. Now that Leana had been shipped to Haven, she wanted to try to start a new life. One that would make her father proud, even if it was only his memory.

The entrance of some of the other students interrupted Leana's thoughts. As everyone settled down, she noticed that there were students from all four groups here at Haven. There was even a bard trainee, which made Leana's heart ache for her father momentarily, until she realized that the teacher had started his lecture. She mentally shook her head and began to take notes.

& & & & &

Leana made her way home at the end of the day, to her cousin Kayle's house. Kayle had been kind enough to take Leana in when her aunt Heln had gotten tired of dealing with Leana's moodiness. As if it were unusual for someone to be moody when they lose someone they love.

"How was school, Leana?" Kayle asked as she let herself in.

"It was okay I guess. The teachers are good and the only class I'm not looking forward to is math."

Kayle smiled. "I heard that was your least favorite subject. Don't worry, I've never been good at it either."

Leana felt herself relax. Her cousin seemed to understand that she didn't want a mother figure. Leana's mother had died when she was born and her father had raised her. Maybe the reason things didn't work out with aunt Heln was because aunt Heln had tried to fill in the non-existent mother void.

Kayle continued, "Things are going to work out, Leana. You're a bright girl with a lot to offer. You'll fit in before you know it."

"I hope so," Leana replied earnestly.

Kayle tried to reassure her younger cousin. "Before you know it you'll have more friends than you know what to do with."

"I'm sure things will be fine," Leana said, sounding much more confident than she felt. "I just need a little time to settle in."

& & & & &

Unfortunately, a little time did little to help Leana fit in. She found that she had almost nothing in common with the other students. The Heraldic trainees were nice enough, but they were always staring off into space or talking to their Companions. Anyone who wasn't a Heraldic trainee was kept on the outside. The few Healer trainees that were there seemed nice enough, but a lot of their classes didn't overlap hers and they often took meals in the Healer's Collegium instead of at the Palace.

Then there were the children of the nobles at court. They were in the blue uniforms and were condescending to anyone not of noble birth. Even if Leana had been noble, she wouldn't want anything to do with them. And the other students in blue were the artificers. They were always talking about new inventions or complicated problems. Leana was dismal at math and couldn't understand anything they said. Being around them made her feel stupid. The few bards that were in her classes she didn't see much. The only one who shared more than one class with her was Robin.

Robin was about her age and fairly new to the Collegium. He had light brown hair and green eyes that reminded Leana of the sea. He had even come up to her a few times to talk, but he reminded her too much of her father. She always tried to find some way of escaping him.

So, Leana usually ate lunch alone and today was no different. She often used the time to study and she was afraid she was going to need every spare moment to get caught up.
"I don't suppose I could sit with you?" a friendly voice asked.

Leana looked up and was lost in a pair of sea green eyes. The last thing she wanted was to be reminded of her father, but she couldn't help herself. "If you want." Robin sat himself down next to her. "So, why aren't you eating with your friends?"

Robin rolled his eyes. "Greggie and Kurtis are debating an old argument. They're trying to decide if love ballads are written about the ideal love of the composer. And of course, they have to sing pieces of the ballads to back it up"

Leana winced in sympathy. "I see why you wanted to escape."

They were both quiet for a moment, paying attention to their food and then Robin spoke up, "You know, the other students are nice. You don't have to be afraid of making friends."

Leana snorted, "With the other blues? No thank you! They're stuck up snobs."

"Not the artificers. They seem to like anyone with a glimmer of intelligence."

Leana chuckled. "Well I don't have it. I'm terrible at math."

"But not your other subjects. I've heard you in religions. Even Master Heron seems impressed every time you give an opinion or answer. And there are other people here." Robin looked down and plucked his uniform. "I'm not exactly in blue myself."

"No, I guess not. Look, I've tried talking to the Heraldic trainees, but they shut out everyone who doesn't talk to horses. They go blank right in the middle of conversations. They mean well enough, they don't even realize they're doing it, but I'm just not good enough at making friends to get beyond that. And I'm not comfortable around Bards." Leana saw the question in Robin's eyes, so she continued, "Besides, I'd rather not spend my lunch hour being tortured by would be music critics."

Robin laughed. "Okay you win. . .for now." He looked over at her books and saw what she had been studying. "You prefer math to music critiques?"

Leana groaned. "I wasn't kidding when I sad I was bad at math. You're lucky you don't have that class with me. I think Master Byron is about to wash his hands of me."

Robin chuckled at her exasperation. "Come on, it can't be that bad."

"Oh no?" Leana asked, somewhat miffed at his laughter. "I'm as bad at math as you are in religions."

"Ouch!" Robin said, not seeming to mind her jab. "I'll tell you what. If you help me with religions, I'll help you with math. That way you can spend your lunch with something a little more interesting."

Leana smiled with gratitude. "It's a deal." Robin returned her smile and Leana began to feel some relief. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad after all.

& & & & &

"So that's what they meant by the 'divide'!" Robin exclaimed as he looked over the drawings Leana had made. She had been over in Robin's room studying since late afternoon, as she had been for that last couple of days. "I just don't understand how you do it," he continued. "You say almost the exact same thing that Master Heron does and yet I can understand it with you." Robin sighed. "I just wish that I was helping you more with math."

"But you are helping," Leana was quick to reassure him. "Master Byron says he thinks I'm improving. He said just yesterday that I'd gone from hopeless to dismal."

"He did not!"

"Well, he would have if he'd had the chance. But, seriously, Robin. You are helping me."

"But not enough," Robin said. "Face it, Lena, I'm just not a good teacher. You would think that a bard, or bard-in-training, would be better at explaining things, but you're the one that's good at it."

"Nonsense. I have it easy. I can put my lessons into pictures. You can't do that with math."

Robin looked thoughtful for a moment. "Maybe we can. Where's your homework?"

Robin looked over the problems assigned and suddenly smiled. "Let's try this. . ." He started to draw interlocking circles on the page.

& & & & &

They both concentrated on Robin's diagrams until the bell for dinner rang.

Leana looked up from her books. "Is it really that late?"

Robin's stomach growled in response, causing Leana to smile. Robin returned it readily,

"Why don't you stay here for dinner tonight?"

Leana responded to his lopsided smile. "Okay."

"Great!" Robin leapt up and grabbed Leana's arm, dragging her down the hall. "I can introduce you to some of my friends."

Leana pulled back, "What if they don't like me?"

"What's not to like? Don't worry. Everyone will love you. And besides, they've already asked me to get you to join our table for lunch."

Leana wasn't completely mollified, but allowed herself to be led in by Robin. He led her over to a table with several boys and one girl.

"Thank goodness!" the girl exclaimed. She was wearing the blue uniform of the unaffiliates. "I was afraid I was going to be the only girl, and I'd have to deal with all these boys by myself."

Leana groaned, "That would be poor company indeed."

"That's not what she says if Adame's anywhere around." One of the boys told Leana. Most of the table laughed. The girl ignored him and stuck out her hand. "I'm Genafer, but most people call me Gena."

Leana took her hand, instantly liking the cute blond. "Leana."

"Don't let the boys fool you," Gena said, turning back to the one who had spoken up.

"Adame's the only one with any amount of sense. Well, except maybe Robin."

One of the other Bardic trainees spoke up. "My name's Greggie. And Gena's biased where Adame's concerned." He adopted a friendly mocking tone," She's in love."

Leana came to the girl's defense. "Well, I certainly won't blame a girl for having good taste."

Robin chuckled, "You haven't even met my roommate yet. You should withhold judgment until then."

Leana assumed her most innocent, wide eyed look and turned to Robin. "But Robin, you're the one who has been telling me how wonderful your roommate is. Have you been lying to me this whole time?" Feeling much more relaxed, she even fluttered her eyelashes at him, causing everyone to laugh.

One of the boys choked. "Oh no! Robin's already gotten to you." Leana thought this one's name was Kurtis, but she was having trouble keeping so many people straight. "I hate to have to tell you this, but don't believe a word he says, Leana."

"Hey!" protested Robin. "I'm not that bad."

"And just who was it that tried to convince Bard Breeda that he was completely sober when he couldn't even walk up the steps?" Kurtis continued.

Leana gasped, "He didn't!"

"Oh, but he did." Greggie confirmed. Then the table began telling the story in earnest, keeping Leana laughing the entire time.

& & & & &

When Leana got home, she was expecting a lecture for not being home for dinner, but she was surprised. "I'm glad you're settling in so well," Kayle told her. "Did you have a good time?"

Leana thought for a moment and realized she was completely content. "Yes I did. I guess I just had to give Haven a chance."

"Well, don't be too hard on yourself. It's tough to move to a new place, constantly watched, and expected to make friends. It's not easy."

Leana smiled at her cousin. "But, it helps having you here. You never seemed to think anything bad about how I acted when dad died."

Kayle led Leana over to a bench and sat with her for a few minutes. "Honey, it is perfectly natural to be upset when you lose someone you love."

"But everyone began to say I was crazy. That I had no reason to be as depressed as I was."

"They just didn't understand. They didn't know your father very well, not even Heln knew him well. How could anyone on the outside of the kind of relationship you had with your father ever relate to what you were going through?"

"I guess. But, what about the rest of it?"

Kayle laughed. "Not to worry. There's no reason to be called crazy just because you had a few ideas."

"A few?"

"I know. Your aunt wrote to me because she was concerned. She was tired of tripping over half done projects, but you were trying, even then, to deal with your grief. I'm just sorry you had to deal with so many people calling you crazy before Heln finally decided to send you here." Kayle continued when Leana didn't answer. "You've been here for a couple weeks now. You're doing all right in your classes, you're making friends, and I have yet to see any behavior that could come close to being crazy."

"I guess," Leana said. She wasn't really convinced. She had heard the remarks so often, she had started thinking she was crazy by the time she left. And she couldn't shake the dread that had filled her once when she thought they might be right. But what Kayle said was true, she was doing fine now and as long as she had friends she would be okay.

& & & & &

"Hey, Leana! Come over here." Leana turned to see Genafer waving at her from a table occupied with most of the people she had met the night before. She smiled and sat across from Genafer.

"Hey, this is Jewly and this is Sera" Gena indicated the girls on either side of her.

"Nice to meet you." Leana said.

"Hello all," Robin's cheerful voice said from beside Leana. "Got room for one more?"
Leana moved over and Robin sat next to her. "How was your morning?" Robin asked her.

"The morning was good, but it's this afternoon I dread. I feel like I'm so close to understanding math and yet so far."

Robin smiled. "Don't give up. I think this picture method may work for you. We can go over them again tonight."

"Just don't forget about the Rose tonight," Genafer warned. "You should come, too, Leana, the Rose is a great place and the sausage rolls are to die for."

"I don't know. . ." Leana really liked these people, but the Rose would have a lot of people she didn't even know.

Genafer continued, "We could really use someone else who isn't lost in a world of logic and inventions."

"Hey!" said Sera and Jewly in perfect unison, "We resemble that remark."

Robin leaned close to her, "It would help you relax after all that math," he sad enticingly.
Leana knew when she had been beaten. "All right. I give. I'll come with you tonight."

& & & & &

Leana had a good time at the Rose. Everyone was nice and they didn't make her feel stupid when she didn't understand what they were saying. She always felt included in some conversation or other. And then Robin had escorted her home, much to the amusement of his friends. Leana began to eat lunch with her new friends every day and even eating dinner several nights a week as well. And whenever a big group of them went to the Rose, Leana was among them. She began to believe that she might really manage to fit in here.

She was beginning to get past the pain of being around bards all the time. Music had always been an important part of her life and her father would not have wanted her to shut it out completely. That didn't mean she was ready to hear people play in their recitals, but the musical instruments no longer made her cringe. Robin had played a big part in her increasing comfort and she was grateful.

And Robin certainly seemed to pay a lot of attention to her. Not that Leana minded, because she was thrilled. Leana was hoping that Robin might feel for her what she had begun to feel for him. Gena, who had quickly become her closest confidant, told Leana that Robin had not shown this kind of attention to any girl in the six months he had been at the Collegium.

Leana was trying to figure out a good way to subtly let Robin know she was interested when she headed for lunch.

"Hey guys," she said, smiling when Robin moved over so she could sit by him, even though there was more than enough room on the other side of the table.

"Hey," Kurtis said. "Maybe you can get Gena to talk about something other than Adame."

Leana noticed Gena looked a little flushed. "He's due back any day now," she told Leana. "I can't help it, I'm excited."

Leana smiled at her friend. "I don't blame you. Frankly, I'm curious. I feel like I already know him because of everything you and Robin have told me about him."

"Speaking of which," Gena transferred her gaze to Robin and narrowed her eyes. "You need to find somewhere to disappear to for a while. I want no repeats of last term."
Robin laughed. "I can give you what room I can, but remember I live there, too"
Gena glared at Robin, "You better keep it to a minimum or we'll lock you out and then where will you go?"

Greggie laughed. "I guess he could always go stay with a 'friend', right Leana?" he suggested, nudging her with an elbow.

Robin blushed and Leana pretended to think it over. Then she brightened, "I know! He could go stay in the Companion's stable."

"What?" Robin sounded horrified.

"The Heraldic trainees stay there all the time for foal watch. I'm sure you would be welcome."

"I'm hurt," Robin mock sniffed. "I can't believe you would do that to me."
Leana laughed and put her hand on his arm. "You know we're only teasing you. We wouldn't make you stay out in the stables. At least not for more than a couple days."
Robin's face grew pained. "Just for that I won't help you study for your math test tonight." He said indignantly, though he didn't pull away from Leana's touch.
At the mention of her math test, Leana's hand instinctively gripped Robin's arm more tightly. Robin placed his other hand on top of the one on his arm. "Hey," he said softly. "You know I'll help you no matter what. You're doing great in math, you have nothing to worry about."

"Tell me that when the test is over."

& & & & &

Robin sat on his bed, picking through a few songs on his lute. Leana was sitting at his desk, working through some math practice problems on her own. Robin hoped she was doing as well alone as she had been with him. He had confidence in her and new that she would do fine, but she needed to know that she could do it.

Robin liked having her here, working at his desk. And he had been getting better in his classes. Not just religions, for they worked on all different classes when they were together. And they didn't always study. Often they just talked or joked around. She would tell him of her journeys and the wonderful places she had visited. Robin loved to hear the stories because he knew it was what his life would be like once he was a full Bard. He, in turn, would tell her of his family. He had a large one with several siblings, all of which he loved dearly. Leana rarely talked about her family and Robin had learned not to ask. And then there was the music. Robin had been shocked the first time he had gotten his lute out. He had finished his history paper, but Leana was still working. He didn't want to disturb her so he had decided to practice. He had no more than played three notes than Leana had started sobbing. Robin's playing turned melancholy as he remembered.

"What's the matter, Lena? Are you all right?" Robin was even more worried when Leana flung herself into his arms and continued to sob. In between the sobs he heard her try and explain.

"The music. . .my father used to play. . .it would help me relax when. . .and he used to talk about being here. . .about learning how to play and create. . ."

As Leana trailed off, Robin began to piece together her words. "Your father was a Bard?" he asked gently.

Leana nodded against his shoulder and his arms tightened protectively around her. Now he understood why she wasn't comfortable around Bards and why she had found excuses not to come to his recitals. Robin held her until the crying stopped. Then he listened as she explained how her father had died and she didn't want to hear any music that wasn't from him. And then she told him why she had been sent to Haven. People had been calling her crazy because of the over-reaction to her father's death. At that moment if Robin could have met those people he would have done more than give them a piece of his mind. But, the damage was already done.

"I'm sorry Lena," he told her when she was done. "I won't play when you're here."

"No," Leana said, not pulling away from him. "You shouldn't have to refrain from practicing because of me. And maybe its time for me to listen to music again."

"Are you sure? We could wait for another day." Robin offered, not sure if this was what Leana really wanted.

But Leana's determination had shown through the pain in her eyes. "I'm sure."

Robin smiled. "In that case, what's your favorite song?"
Leana blushed and smiled tentatively. "Would you believe it's 'My Lady's Eyes'?"

"There's nothing wrong with a classic, my Lady." He had replied and began to play.

"You know, you're really very good." Leana said from the table, pulling Robin out of his memories.

"Coming from you, that is a great compliment indeed," he said, gratified that his playing no longer caused her any pain.

Leana smiled, "I'm just trying to soften you up before you check my paper." She handed him the paper and sat next to him on the bed. Robin was fleetingly grateful that the bed was slightly bowed. Anyone who sat on it found themselves slowly shifting towards the center of the bed.

Robin looked over the paper and smiled. "I think you're going to be fine, Lena. You got all of the problems right."

"I did?" Leana seemed relieved and Robin suddenly had the urge to kiss her. He just wasn't sure how she would take it. She seemed interested, but she was always so skittish. The last thing he wanted to do was to scare her off. But you never gained without a little risk. However, tonight was not the night because the bell rang for dinner.

Leana jumped up from the bed causing Robin to fall unceremoniously off the bed. "Tripes! I promised Kayle I'd be home for dinner tonight." She grabbed her stuff from the desk and ran to the door as Robin put away his lute.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he called as Leana headed out of the door. Robin sighed. There was always tomorrow.

& & & & &

Leana waited anxiously for Master Byron to finish going over her test. He had agreed to check it while she waited because she was so worried about how she had done.

"Well," the master said as he turned over the last page. "I was aware that you were getting some help, but I wasn't expecting this."

Leana's heart dropped. "Is it that bad?"

Mast Byron looked up at Leana and chuckled. "No, my dear. It's that good. You didn't get a single thing wrong."

Leana could hardly believe her ears. She raced for the door, wanting to tell Robin the good news. She shouted her thanks to the startled master as the door closed behind her. She came to Robin's room and flung open the door without bothering to knock.

"Robin! Guess what –" Leana stopped when she entered, finding Gena in an intimate embrace with a tall Bardic trainee. "I'm sorry," Leana stammered. "I didn't mean to. . .I was just. . .Sorry." She turned and fled the room, heedless of Gena calling her name.
Leana's face felt like it was on fire. She had never felt so embarrassed. It wasn't unusual for her to come in without knocking in the afternoons. Robin expected her every day, even when they didn't have class. Leana headed out to the gardens, hoping her blushes would cool. Then she heard a whistle behind her that sounded suspiciously like "My Lady's Eyes". She turned to see Robin coming towards her.

"Hey, Lena."

"Hey," Leana answered, praying that her face wouldn't show her embarrassment.

"You okay?" When she didn't say anything else, Robin said, "From the look on your face, I'm guessing you must have stopped by my room."

Leana closed her eyes and nodded. "Only, I forgot to knock."

Robin snikered and burst out laughing.

"It's not funny, Robin!" Leana insisted. "Your roommate probably hates me and I'm sure Gena won't speak to me for a week. And –"

Robin took both her shoulders in his hands. "Lena, it's okay. Believe me when I say you're not the only one to walk in on them. You didn't know he was back yet."

"But I should have. It's all Gena's been talking about for a week."

"It'll be fine. Gena thinks too highly of you to be mad and Adame is going to love you. Everyone else does."

"But I walked in on them! And Adame isn't everybody else. He's your closest friend here at the Collegium, you've told me that yourself. It's important that he like me because he's so close to you." Leana hadn't quite meant to say that last part, but she couldn't help herself.

Robin let his hands drop from Leana's shoulders to catch her hands. "My friends are that important to you?"

Leana nodded, but before she could say anything else, she heard footsteps approaching.

"There you are!" It was Gena. "I've been looking all over for you."

Leana winced. "I'm sorry –"

Gena dismissed her with a wave. "You already said that. I was coming to let you know that it's okay. You're not the only one to walk in on us. I think sometimes Robin does it on purpose just to get at us. But, it was kind of nice to be barged in on by someone else for a change."

"Does Adame hate me?"

Gena laughed. "Of course not. But he is curious why you flew into the room so fast."

Leana suddenly remembered the reason she had been so excited. "Oh!" She turned to Robin. "I got the results from my test and I got all of them right."

"That wonderful!" Robin pulled her close to giver her a hug. Leana's heart began to beat a little faster at the close contact. "I told you you could do it." He whispered into her ear, causing Leana to shiver slightly. Leana didn't pull away from Robin and he didn't let go.
Gena cleared her throat, and Leana reluctantly pulled away. "I'm glad you did so well, Lena, but we should go find Adame so he can meet you."

Leana swallowed nervously and Robin took her hand in his, turning her to face him. "It'll be fine." Leana nodded and allowed Robin to lead her back to his room, holding onto his hand like a lifeline.

Adame was about six inches taller than Robin and much darker. His hair was almost black and his eyes were a dark brown. But, he did seem pleased to meet her.
"Don't worry about it," he had told her when she tried to apologize. "I had almost expected Robin to send someone in just to give us a hard time."

"I won't do that this time!" Robin hastily assured his roommate. "Gena's threatened to make me sleep in Companion's stable if I don't behave."

Adame put his arm around Gena. "Good for you."

Gena smiled. "I had to do something. Although, Companion's Stable was actually Lena's idea," gena said grinning evily at Robin. "But still, I'm tired of him giving us grief just because he's jealous."

Everyone laughed as Robin sputtered, trying to deny the accusation. "Just wait, roomie," Adame warned. "Just wait until I start doing that to you two and see how much you like it."

The laughter stopped and Leana was acutely aware that she was still holding Robin's hand. Robin seemed to notice at the same moment because he dropped it suddenly. Adame picked up on the tension, realization that he had said something wrong evident in his face, as an uncomfortable silence inserted itself into the joyful room.
Gena tried to come to the rescue. "Well, we should head over to dinner. The bells about to ring."

As everyone began to head for the door, Leana hung back. "Robin, I'm going to go home for dinner." She was quick to continue when she sensed Robin was going to talk her out of it. "I'd like to tell Kayle about my test."

Robin nodded. "As long as I'll see you tomorrow."

"Always," Leana assured him. She gave him one last smile as she headed home.

& & & & &

Leana was enjoying the outside air. She had debated going over to Robin's room, but after yesterday she really didn't want to chance it.

"Leana?" She turned to see Adame walking over to her.

"Hey Adame." She couldn't stop the slight flush of embarrassment. As much as Adame had seemed to like her, Leana wasn't sure if that was only because of her friendship with Gena and Robin.

"Why are you in the gardens? Robin is waiting for you in our room."

"He is? I didn't want to interrupt anything again."

Adame laughed. "We've taken care of that. You have no fear in the afternoons. Robin swears his studying demands you keep your schedule. Gena and I will behave ourselves. If we're there, we won't disturb you." Adame sat himself down next to Leana. "Robin certainly seems to like you." He seemed to be waiting for an answer so Leana said, "He's one of the best friends I've ever had. I'm glad he made the effort to draw me out and introduce me to his friends."

"I suspect he had his own reasons for doing so." This time, Leana's blush had nothing to do with Adame. "Listen," he suddenly said, seeming to change moods. "You may not know this, but his Birthing Day is coming up."

"He didn't tell me that," Leana said shocked.

"I'd be surprised if he had. He hasn't told anyone. The only reason I know about it is because his younger sister wrote me so that Robin couldn't get out of celebrating this year. He apparently doesn't like a fuss, but we aren't going to let him get away that easily."

Leana's eyes gleamed with mischief. "Tell me what you're thinking."

"Well, his Birthing Day is on our next recital night. So we thought that we would get all our friends together and fill up as many seats as possible. That way we can cheer loudly for him. Then we can go back to Sera and Jewly's room. They'll have decorations and food ready for a real party. Robin won't know a thing, so he'll be caught completely off guard. . ."

Adame continued to outline the plans for the party, but Leana didn't register them. His recital. Leana had gotten used to Robin playing when they were in his rooms, had even begun to enjoy it and look forward to it. And Robin always played "My Lady's Eyes" for her when she seemed a little down. Robin had no idea how much that meant to her. But to go to a recital? She would have to hear many people play and sing. Robin hadn't even asked her to go once he knew about her father. He seemed to understand that it would be a very difficult thing to do. Adame's touch in her shoulder brought her back to the present.

"Leana? I'm sorry, did you want to do something special for Robin? We never thought to ask if you wanted to be able to celebrate alone."

Leana shook her head, pasting on a smile "No, I think it's wonderful idea. I was just trying to figure out what to get him."

"You don't think he'll be mad about a surprise party?"

"I'm sure he'll love it." Leana rose from the bench. "But, I'd better get back or Robin is sure to think something's up and I certainly wouldn't want to spoil the surprise."

Adame waved as she turned back towards the Collegium. Leana was glad that Robin's friends were planning such a fun night for his Birthing Day, but she couldn't believe the bad luck that caused it to fall on a recital night. She wasn't sure if she could really handle the recital, but she knew she would go. She would go for Robin.

& & & & &

The day before the recital, Leana was getting nervous. Not just because of the recital, but because she still hadn't found the perfect gift. She had thought about music, but he could get that from anywhere. And the gift needed to be special. Something that would let him know how much he meant to her. Finally admitting defeat, Leana went in search of her cousin.

"What should I get Robin? Nothing seems right, somehow."

"It's often hard to find the right gift for someone you really care about." Kayle looked at Leana thoughtfully for a moment. "The young man's a Bard trainee, maybe there is something in the boxes of your father's stuff that would be perfect."

Leana hadn't looked in the boxes since her father died. It had been too painful to think about. But, it would be a good place to look for a gift. And it had been over a year since her father died. Maybe she should look. Who knows, maybe she would find things to decorate her room with to remind her of him. "That's a good idea." She left to begin going through boxes.

Four boxes later, Leana was thinking there wasn't anything appropriate. She found more music than she knew what to do with, especially since she had no aptitude for music whatsoever, but she had already decided against that. There were her father's instruments, but there was no way she was giving any of those away. She sighed as she moved yet another stack of music out of the box and then smiled.

"Perfect!" she said to herself. And knew that tomorrow would be a good day indeed.

& & & & &

Robin waited for his turn at the recital, feeling his usual nervousness. He was thankful that Adame was back, because he always centered him with his crazy antics. And tonight was no exception.

After proclaiming in dramatic tones that he would die if he didn't get enough applause, he sobered and tapped Robin on the shoulder. "Hey. Look over there, Robin. All your friends are here." Adame pointed to the rather large crowd that had gathered for the concert, but Robin's eyes only noticed one person. Lena was here!

"Of course she's here," Adame said, making Robin realize he had spoken out loud. "Why wouldn't she be?"

"You haven't been here," he reminded his roommate. "This is the first recital that Lena's come to."

"That's strange. I'd just assumed she would have been coming to your recitals. When I mentioned it the other day, she didn't seem wierd about it. Maybe you just needed to ask her to come. Maybe she thought you'd be too nervous or something."

"Maybe," Robin hedged. He didn't feel right telling Adame the truth. He wondered why Leana had come and then worried that maybe Adame had badgered her into it because she didn't know how to tell him why she wouldn't come. But, as he watched her, he realized she was smiling and seemed completely happy to be there. Maybe Adame was right, all she needed was a little encouragement.

When it was time for him to play, he looked towards Leana and she gave him a thumbs up. He smiled and prepared to sing.

& & & & &

When the recital was over, he made his way over to all his friends, aching to get close to only one person. He was pleased when she flung her arms around him.

"You were wonderful, Robin!" She said and kissed his cheek. Robin felt his face grow warm and pulled Leana against him. "I'm glad you came," he whispered just for her, hoping she could tell from his tone of voice and his body just how pleased he was that she had come for him.

Leana pulled back slightly and Robin saw understanding in her eyes. "Me too. I enjoyed myself."

Robin brushed her cheek with his hand. "That's good." He may have said more, but his other friends intruded on the moment.

"Hey guys," Sera said. "Let's go back to my room. We have a recital to celebrate."
Robin grinned and grabbed Leana's hand as everyone made their way across the grounds. Nothing could get better than this.

But, things could get better. When he entered Sera's room he saw that his friends had discovered what day it was. Robin tried to act annoyed that they were making a fuss, but knew his friends could see right through him. He was having the time of his life. And life was good when he had such wonderful friends.

The party was in full swing and Robin was opening his presents. He had already received strings from Adame, a new belt pouch from Sera, and lined staff paper from Gena. Leana came over and sat next to him with her present. Robin noticed that, although everyone was still watching, they had moved back a little to give the two of them privacy. Robin opened the small package and read the note.

For the one who brought music back into my life and light back into my soul.

He lifted the note to reveal a beautiful window ornament. They had been created in K'Valdemar Vale and Robin had only seen a couple in his lifetime. It was beautiful, mostly blue glass and clear crystal, but in the middle was a painted lute.

"Lena," he breathed. "It's beautiful. Where did you get it?"

Leana half shrugged. "It was my father's. And don't say you can't accept it. His primary instrument was the lute, just like you. It seemed appropriate that you have this. It should be appreciated by someone who plays the lute, which I will never be able to do. Besides, I think he'd like you to have it."

When Robin answered, he was surprised to find his voice thick with emotion. "Thank you, Leana. You don't know how much this means to me."

Leana smiled her special smile that Robin had begun to fall in love with and replied. "Oh, I think I know."

At that moment, Robin wanted nothing more than to kiss Leana and to hell with all the people in the room. But, Leana's trembling voice stopped him.

"Robin," she said so only he could hear. "I need to go." She looked nervously at all the people in the room. "There are lots of people here I don't know and that always makes me feel uncomfortable. And I've already been through a lot tonight."

Robin reached up and brushed her auburn hair behind her ear. "Okay. I'll see you tomorrow. Thank you for everything."

"No. Thank you." It looked like she may something else, but then she quickly rose and left the party. Adame replaced Leana on the bench. "Don't worry, my friend, she likes you."

"You really think so?"

Adame picked up the ornament. "Oh yeah. She's got it bad. You'd better do something about it before you lose her. Take it from me, women don't like to wait."
Robin smiled at the memories of Gena trying to seduce Adame. "I guess you would know that first hand."

Adame flushed and looked over at Gena, who was deep in a conversation with Jewly.

"Being surprised in the men's bathing room in the middle of the night was certainly an experience. And one I wouldn't mind repeating. But I don't think Leana's the type. You're going to have to make the first move."

"I guess."

Adame clapped Robin on the shoulder. "Make it soon, Robbie, make it soon."

"You're probably right. And I have a few ideas."

& & & & &

Leana kept her head down as she made her way to Robin's room. She ignored the several attempts of people trying to get her attention. She didn't even know these people. Why were they bothering her? Leana just wanted to get away. She'd been going nuts for the last two weeks. Ever since Robin's party. She'd had high hopes of what would happen between them, but they had begun arguing the very next day.

She had been feeling pressured by all the people that suddenly wanted to be her new best friend. She couldn't make it to class without at least three complete strangers stopping her in the hall. And these people were interrupting her lunch. But Robin didn't seem to think anything was wrong. He told her she was overreacting and that she should be happy that so many people liked her. He just didn't understand. Leana thought it was down right creepy. She just wanted to get away.

She heaved a mental sigh of relief as she made it inside Robin's room.

"Tough day?" he asked from his bed.

Leana just nodded, feeling the slight panic ebb as she allowed herself to breathe normally. Robin came over and took her books. "Why don't we start on that religions paper?" he suggested. Leana made her way over to Robin's desk and got out her notes.

Ten minutes later, Robin put down his quill. "Something wrong?"

"What do you mean?" Leana pulled her gaze from the window.

"You've been tapping your foot since you sat down and haven't even written one sentence."

Leana looked at her paper and saw that it only contained a few doodles. "I'm fine," she assured him. She didn't want to tell him what was going on because that would just start another argument. She tried to focus on her work, but just couldn't concentrate. She got up and looked out the window.

"We should go ridding." She said suddenly. "It's too nice a day to be inside."

Robin smiled. "That would be nice, but we have to fin—"

"Or we could go swimming." Leana suggested, cutting Robin off. "And we could take a picnic dinner. We can ride off into the sunset, go swimming." She went in front of Robin and put her hands on his shoulders, then fluttered her eyes. "Some solitude would be nice." Leana saw Robin begin to give in. She was hoping that maybe some time alone would help their problems from the last two weeks. She certainly couldn't stand being inside much longer.

But Robin came back to his senses. "Lena, we can't. We have a lot of work to catch up on."

"I can't. At least not right now. Maybe later. Right now I just want to concentrate on you." Now what had possessed her to say that? She was starting to sound a little like Gena.

Robin blinked, obviously surprised that Leana was being so forward.

"I can't concentrate on my homework." She continued. "Don't ask me to."

"Lena," Robin stopped her tirade with a hand on her mouth. "What's the matter? You haven't been able to concentrate on school for more than a few minutes at a time all week."

"Nothing's wrong. I feel good, I just want to get out and live a little. Can't I be a little restless every now and then?"

"You've been restless all week Lena, it's not—"

"It's all these people around me. They make me nervous." Leana interrupted.

"Not this again," Robin sighed. "Look, Lena. People like you, it's a good thing, get over it."

"You don't understand anything!" Lean said, suddenly angry at his dimwitted behavior.

"You never have. It's not normal and it's driving me nuts! These are people I don't know… people I don't even have classes with. It's just plain creepy." She grabbed her books, somehow knowing that if she stayed, things would only get worse. "I can't stay here. Either you can come with me or you can stay in here and bore yourself to death."

Robin shook his head. "I'm staying here. I have a paper to finish."

"Fine!" Leana shouted and slammed the door on her way out. She headed for the stables, fully intent on a ride, but changed course halfway there. Maybe she should go home and go through her father's boxes again. She'd been meaning to do that for a while.

& & & & &

She sorted through her father's music for a little while and then realized that she had never gone through the boxes of her own stuff that her Aunt Heln had sent to Haven a few weeks ago. So she got those boxes out. She ate a quick dinner with her cousin and then went right back to her room, ignoring the concerned looks coming from Kayle. Leana just needed to cool off a bit before seeing her friends again.

After emptying two of her boxes on the floor and looking through everything, she went back to her father's stuff. She hadn't realized how late it was until the sky outside began to lighten. Surprisingly, Leana didn't feel tired. In fact, she was starting to feel really pepped. She looked at the convoluted mess in her room. Obviously sorting through everything would take longer than she had thought.

Leana grabbed her books and smiled as she made her way to the Collegium. A new day held all kinds of possibilities. She managed to get there early enough to avoid people in the halls, so she wasn't even feeling particularly jumpy today. So when she made it to lunch, she was in a really good mood. Robin refused to speak to her and Leana felt that if he were going to sulk she would let him. He could apologize later. She certainly wasn't going to do it first.

& & & & &

The day flew by for Leana and she had barely registered anything that had happened in her classes. That afternoon, she made her way home, not ready to face a sulky Robin. She was ready to get back to the mass sorting she had begun the day before. And she had promised Gena she'd be at the Rose tonight. Maybe Robin would manage to get over his sulk by then.

The Rose was packed when Leana arrived. Everyone seemed to seek Leana out, even if just for a few minutes. Robin still wasn't talking to her and Leana began to wish she hadn't come. She couldn't seem to focus on any conversation, every little thing in the room drew her attention. Someone spilled their ale as they made their way across the room. Someone else burned their mouth on a sausage roll. Little things that always happened at the Rose, but Leana had never noticed before. Finally, Leana just couldn't take the atmosphere anymore. "I'm sorry," she said in the middle of the conversation. "I've got to go."

Leana rose and Robin immediately got to his feet. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she replied and began to make her way to the door.
Robin grabbed her arm and turned her around. "You're not fine. Something is bothering you."

Leana looked at Robin's hand on her arm. "Let go of me, Robin." He didn't immediately respond so Leana raised her voice. "I said let go of me!" The area around them went silent as Leana's yell reached the nearby tables. She hadn't meant to yell quite so loud, but Robin had no choice but to let her go. She gave him a good glare and then turned and left the Rose.

Robin stared after Leana, unable to move. He felt someone touch his shoulder. "I've lost her," he said softly.

Gena's hand gave a comforting squeeze. "You haven't lost her, Robin. She's just mad right now. Things will calm down and you two will work out your problems."
Robin wasn't convinced. Leana hadn't acted herself for a while. Maybe her going to the recital had been a bad idea. Maybe it had made her remember the pain she felt when her father died. She had told him the villagers had called her crazy. Robin was now beginning to see why.