Chapter Two: The Two Sides of the Coin

Leana had spent most of the night tense from the scene at the Rose. She had no idea why things were so bad between her and Robin. Even when she was mad at him, she still found him attractive, which only seemed to make things worse. He was very easy on the eyes, with his brown hair and sea green eyes. Leana sighed. Not even all the advice from Gena had managed to move things past friendship between them. Maybe that was the problem.

Gena had said 'all men are idiots'. Gena had needed to seduce Adame to get things where she wanted them. At the time, Leana thought she could never do something like that, but maybe that's what was necessary. Maybe that's why she felt so jittery and anxious all the time. She was just unsure of her relationship with Robin.

The more she thought about it, the more she decided that the whole reason things were so tense between Robin and her was the frustration of still being 'just friends'. Leana smiled. All she really needed to do was seduce Robin and things would go back to normal.

& & & & &

There were no classes today and Gena had decided to take advantage of that and go on an outing with Adame. So Leana knew she could catch Robin alone. She pressed her ear to the door, straining to hear if he was inside, she didn't hear anything, but she decided to go ahead and go in anyway and eased the door open.

Robin looked up from the desk as she shut the door behind her and leaned against it.

"Hey stranger," she said, noting the look of surprise that crossed Robin's face.

"Lena?" he asked. His desk was covered in open texts and he was writing something. Not a fun activity on a nice day like today.

"What are you doing?"

Robin sighed. "That stupid paper. I couldn't concentrate when you left the other day, so I still haven't gotten it done."

Leana smiled to herself. Apparently Robin was having the same problem she was. Maybe things would work out after all. She went behind Robin and began to massage his shoulders. "You're tense."

Robin nodded, "I don't like fighting with you."

"I don't like it either," She said. She leaned forward to whisper directly in his ear, letting her hands trail down the front of his shirt. "Adame and Gena are gone for the morning, if I remember correctly, why don't we spend some time making up?" Even as she said the words, a small part of Leana was silently saying that this whole scene was wrong. She wasn't like this normally, why would she start now? It was almost like she was watching herself from outside the room.

Robin took both her hands in his and brought her around in front of him. "Leana, what are you doing?"

"I thought that would be obvious," she replied.

Robin studied her for a moment. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," Leana answered shortly. "Look, it was either this or try to sneak into your bed in the middle of the night." Leana continued, even as she saw Robin open his mouth to respond. "Somehow I don't think Adame would appreciate me coming in here during the night, although I guess I could have made plans with Adame and Gena. Especially since Gena's the one who has been giving me advice, which she is really good at giving, even though she is a blond. But then I don't think I have ever thought of her as being blond, except for the fact that I really envy her hair. And she'd look pretty silly as a brunette --" Leana stopped as Robin grabbed both her waving hands in his. Leana briefly wondered when she had pulled away from him and started gesturing.

"Lena! Slow down." Robin paused and Leana tried to bring her racing thoughts to a stand still so she could listen to what Robin was saying. "What are you talking about?"
Leana tried to follow her train of thought backwards and finally remembered what she was here to do. "Well, I was trying to seduce you."

Robin choked slightly at her blatant statement. Leana took his momentary confusion to step close to him. "Why? Don't you want me to?"

"Lena, I—" whatever Robin had been about to say was cut off by the bell for lunch.
Leana swore, seeing in Robin's face that he wasn't about to let her convince him to stay with her.

"Lena, I think we need to talk about this. But right now isn't the time."

Leana sighed back her frustration. "I guess. I'll see you at the Rose tonight." She quickly exited, intent on finding a way to calm her racing thoughts.

& & & & &

Leana walked home, feeling let down about Robin, but still euphoric. Things weren't so bad, really. She had at least started the course of fixing things between the two of them. And Robin had admitted the need to talk about the situation. It could only get better from here.

She got home and started to look through the mess on the floor. She couldn't remember why she'd wanted to go through all that mess anyway. She took a last disdainful look at the chaos, then dumped it all back into boxes and shoved the boxes into her closet. Her time would be better spent planning a better scenario to seduce Robin. After all, once her relationship with Robin was on track, things would go back to normal.

"Much better," she commented to herself. "Now I have room to think." Satisfied, she pulled out a piece of paper and began to plan.

& & & & &

The Rose was busy as usual. A night couldn't go by that it wasn't filled with students and laughter. Really, it was a great place to hang out; the drinks weren't too watered down, the sausage rolls were to die for, and the masters were usually in the back room in case there was ever a problem. Kayle liked the place and even encouraged Leana to spend time there with her friends, as long as she didn't stay out too late or her grades didn't suffer. Leana found her way through the crowd to her friends.

"Hey, Lena!" Gena called as she found a place to sit. Gena leaned close and said, "I heard you put Robin in a state this afternoon."

Leana tossed her hair over her shoulder. "It wasn't my fault that he wasn't ready when I came over."

Gena shook her head. "It just doesn't seem like you." Her face grew serious. "Be careful, Leana. The seduction routine doesn't work with all guys. Robin just might be one of them. After all, needing to hit a guy over the head is one thing, but you don't want to push too hard."

"Then, that's his loss," Leana said. "I just got tired of waiting, Gena. You were the one who told me all guys are idiots. If he knows what's good for him, he'll be smart and pay attention to me instead of always focusing on homework on a night like this. The Rose is more welcoming than usual. And I've noticed some of the blues missing the last few times I've been here. I wonder if they've been asked to join the masters.
"Robin says that's how they know they've graduated, by being invited back, but I don't know about the rest of us. I mean, we can't take classes forever, but I don't really see myself becoming a professor, or –"

"Leana?" Adame's voice broke through her conversation. She briefly wondered when he had come to sit beside Gena.

"Hey Adame," she said, grateful to have more company. "I'm glad you're here. Have you seen Robin? He was supposed to be here tonight and it's not like him to break a promise. Not that he promised, exactly, but I thought he was going to come."

"I'm here, Lena," Robin said as he sat down. He smiled and lifted his mug. "I just wanted to get some ale."

Lena gave Robin a dazzling smile and let herself enjoy the evening.
It was only after her fifth mug of ale that Leana began to realize how much she had been drinking. She felt really good, though, and she didn't feel pressured by all the people as she had previously. She was helping herself to another mug of ale when Robin stopped her. "Don't you think you've had enough?"

"I'm fine. I'm just letting myself get relaxed."

Gena and Robin exchanged a look. Then Gena took Leana's arm. "It's getting late. Why don't you let me take you home."

"No. I want to stay here. I'm not tired." Leana refused to listen to anyone's protests. After all, she didn't feel tired. If they all wanted to leave, that was fine with her. She stayed much later than she ever had before, with no care to what Kayle would think or that she might worry. She stayed until the Rose itself closed down.

& & & & &

Robin was practicing quietly when Adame and Gena came in. "I can leave," he offered as they sat down.

"No," Gena told him. "You're fine. We were just going to get some studying done."
Robin went back to his practice while his friends bent over the desk. A little later Gena stretched and rose from the desk. "I hate schoolwork. I'd rather concentrate on something more important. . . like dinner."

Adame laughed, "Don't worry, dinner can't be far off." He looked over at Robin. "Is Leana going to join us?"

Robin just shrugged, not quite knowing how to answer that question. He and Leana were having a strange couple of weeks. She either seemed determined to seduce him, the memory of which always made his cheeks burn, or wanted nothing to do with him. It depended on which mood she was in whether or not she would show up for dinner.

"Hey, where is Lena?" Gena asked. "I haven't seen her today."

Robin released the breath he'd been holding, "I'm not surprised. She skipped classes today. At least, the ones she shares with me."

"Again?" Gena sounded concerned. "That's the third time in two weeks. Something must be going on."

"Maybe we should talk to her," Adame suggested.

Robin shook his head, "I've tried. It's the strangest thing. She swears nothing is wrong when I ask her, even gets insulted that I keep asking her. But she doesn't at all seem like herself. It's not like she's acting out, she's just running full tilt. I can't even begin to keep up with her. And she doesn't seem to be focused on anything that's in front of her."

"Or she's focused on everything that's around," added Gena. " Maybe she's trying to avoid something. "I've noticed that when I talk to her, she just keeps going. Almost as if she really doesn't want to talk about something that's bothering her. Maybe of we try and pinpoint where the conversation is going when she does that, we can find out what's bothering her without having to ask directly."

"And if things get really bad, you can always go talk to Kayle," Adame suggested. Robin nodded absently, but knew that would have to be a last resort. He knew how Leana felt about people talking behind her back. She would never forgive him if she found that he was asking Kayle about Leana's strange behavior.

& & & & &

Worried about Leana, Robin tried his best to figure out what issue she was avoiding in their odd conversations. But there wasn't any connection. Nothing seemed to make sense and he was getting frustrated. He tried talking to Leana about her father, but although she was sad, she didn't seem devastated by his death. The whole situation was beginning to depress him.

"Cheer up, Robin," Sera said at lunch that day. "You're starting to make all of us depressed."

Robin groaned. "I'll try, but don't expect me to be the life of the party." Sera smiled in sympathy and Robin did his best to put his worries out of his mind. He just concentrated on relaxing with his friends. He was actually beginning to have a good time when Gena came in. She immediately went to Robin and leaned down to speak quietly into his ear.

"I need you to come with me." Her voice conveyed a sense of urgency and Robin didn't hesitate to follow her from the common room.

"What's going on?" he asked as soon as they reached relative privacy.

"It's Lena," she explained as she led Robin outside. "She said she wasn't hungry and I thought it would be a good time to try and get her to talk. We were walking by the river when she suddenly decided to climb a tree."

"What?"

"And she's not just in a tree, she high in a tree. I don't think the branches are going to hold for long and she won't come down."

Robin's heart dropped as Gena showed him the tree. He could barely make Leana out through the leaves. "Lena?"

Leana moved so her face was more visible. "Hello, Robin. Did you want to join me? There's plenty of room. And the view is great!"

"I'd rather you come down and join me."

"But it's nice up here," she stated and began to walk away from the trunk. "Everything is beautiful from above. I think the only view that would be better would be from the roof of the palace itself."

Robin hoped Leana wouldn't get the urge to try that. "Please, Lena," he begged. "I don't like you that high. Please come down for me."

Leana didn't even seem to hear him. "The breeze feels wonderful and if it would blow just a little harder, I bet I could fly to the ground." As she spoke, she flung her arms wide and Robin watched in horror as he saw Leana lose her footing.

It was as if he watched in slow motion as she slipped. He watched in agonizing slowness as she fell, but couldn't seem to move. He heard Gena's scream as Leana hit a few branches on her way to the ground and landed with a sickening thud, not moving.
Robin and Gena both rushed to the still form. Robin could see Leana breathing, but it seemed shallow. He turned to Gena's tear stained face. "Go get the Healers!" Gena immediately obeyed, running off just as the first of the spectators arrived.

Robin knew better than to move Leana, but he couldn't help but take her hand in his. "Hold on, Leana." He told her, heedless of his own tears. "Please, just hold on."
The Healers moved him a few minutes later. They looked her over and pronounced her safe enough to move. Gena and Adame placed hands on Robin's shoulders, but he felt little comfort from them. He watched Leana being carried by the Healers and then said, "Would you guys go with her?"

"Don't you want to go with her?" Gena asked him.

"More than anything, but someone has to tell Kayle what's happened. I think it would be

best if I go."

Adame squeezed his shoulder and Gena gave him a hug before the two of them disappeared after the Healers. Robin turned the other way and began to make his way into the city, knowing he should be the one to tell Kayle about the accident.

But what, he thought, am I supposed to say?

& & & & &

Leana woke to the sound of a lute. For a brief moment, she thought it was her father playing, but then the disorientation faded and she realized she was listening to Robin. She didn't recognize where she was, but when Robin saw her begin to move he stopped playing.

"Where am I?" she asked.

"You're at the Healer's," he answered, sitting on the edge of her bed. "You gave us quite a scare, but you only suffered bruised ribs."

Leana stifled a groan as she tried to sit up. "I think everything's bruised. What happened?"

"You fell from a tree."

Leana vaguely remembered wanting to climb a tree, but everything after that was fuzzy. "How long have I been here?"

"Since this afternoon. It's only dinner now, which is why I'm the only one here." Robin smiled down at her. "I had to threaten Kayle in order to get her to leave long enough to get some food. And Adame and Gena were here until Gena's stomach started to complain."

Leana reached for his hand. "It's good that you're here."

The door opened and a Healer came in. She looked to be only a few years older than Leana.

"Good, you're up," She said as she came over to the bed and began to check Leana's responses. "How are you feeling?"

"Kind of woozy."

The Healer nodded. "That's understandable. It's a side effect of the medication. It'll go away in a few hours."

"How long do I have to stay here?"

"Your cousin may take you home in the morning, but I don't want you returning to school for the rest of the week. You need to rest and give your ribs a chance to heal."
"Don't worry," Robin told Leana. "I'll bring by your work for you and we can catch you up before you have to head back to class."

Leana tried to smile but found it hard with the prospect of catching up.

& & & & &

Leana looked up from her books as her cousin came in bearing a tray.

"Here you go, honey, I though you could use some lunch."

Leana gratefully took the tray and pushed her books to the side. "Thanks, Kayle, I could really use the break. I didn't realize just how far behind I was."

Kayle looked over all of Leana's notes that were spread out. "Are you going to be able to catch up?"

Leana sighed. "Robin said he'd help me."

Kayle headed for the door, about to leave, but she turned back. "Don't lose him, Leana. He seems like a good boy."

Leana nodded, wondering, as Kayle left, how she was supposed to keep a guy who didn't seem interested. And how in the Havens she was supposed to catch up on all the schoolwork that had been slipping for several weeks.

But true to his word, Robin showed up after his classes, Bringing work from her masters as well as notes from friends for those classes she and Robin did not share. She tried to pay attention while Robin filled her in on what she had missed, but she was tired and found it hard to stay awake.

It took her a moment to realize Robin had stopped talking. "I'm sorry, what were you saying?"

"You want to talk about it?"

Leana knew he wasn't talking about her homework. "There's nothing to talk about."

"Yes there is, Leana. Please don't continue to shut out your friends. We all care about you and you've been scaring us for weeks." Robin paused. "You've been scaring me for weeks."

"I don't know Robin, okay? I didn't mean to scare anyone. I'm fine. I didn't suffer from the fall and I won't go climbing any more trees. Isn't that enough?"
"Lena—"

"Look, I'm really tired. I appreciate you coming over and bringing me all this work, but I think I just want to go to bed right now."

"Okay, Lena, okay. I'm sorry for pushing you right now." Robin helped Lena over to her bed and pulled her blanket up to cover her. "I'll be by to see you tomorrow." He quietly let himself out of her room.
& & & & &
Leana tried to go to sleep after Robin left, but her mind wouldn't allow it. She knew she had a lot of work to do. She started thinking over the last few weeks and cringed when she thought of how many classes she had skipped.

Why did I skip class? I've never done anything like that before. How am I supposed to face my masters when I go back? They will have heard about the accident. They'll all think I'm crazy. That's what happened with Aunt Heln. Only last time I wasn't stupid enough to actually fall from a tree.

And what was I thinking climbing a tree? I don't know the first thing about it. I didn't even climb trees when I was a kid. And I know Gena was scared. That's why she went to go find Robin. They tried to get me down and I wouldn't listen. They must hate me.
I've been short with everyone for weeks. I snap at every little thing. I'm always acting like they're bothering me, but they only do it because they care. Leana thought over her actions towards her friends and began to cry. They probably won't want to be friends anymore. Robin's probably only coming over because he feels guilty for not getting me out of the tree. No one else has stopped by.

Leana started to cry harder. When had things started to go so wrong?

& & & & &

Leana found catching up very hard to do. Some days she despaired at ever getting back on track. She couldn't remember dates in history, not even pictures were helping her in math, and master Heron seemed to be concerned over how poorly she was managing his religions class, which had always been one of her best. And worst of all was Robin.

Leana had hoped that they would be more than friends and, at one time, she was sure that Robin had felt the same, but now all he seemed to want was friendship.

Not that I blame him. I can't believe some of the things I did. She recalled the day she had tried what Gena had. Only Robin doesn't bathe late at night the way Adame does. She hadn't felt embarrassed at the time when someone had walked in on the would-be seduction scene, but now that she really thought about it she was mortified! And Robin hadn't seemed very interested before they were interrupted.

Maybe Gena was right. Maybe he doesn't like aggressive girls. Or maybe he just doesn't like me. Who would like me anyway? I'm always fighting with Robin over something and whining about my father. He was the only one who really understood me and right now I just want him back.

Leana began to sob. She barely registered someone entering her room until she felt arms go around her.

"Lena? Are you okay?" It was Gena.

Leana forced herself to stop the tears and wiped her eyes. "I'm okay. Just trying to figure out how to make up all this work."

Gena hugged her again, "It's al going to be fine, you'll see."

Leana pulled away. "How can you say that? Everything's a mess. With school, with Robin. . .nothing's going to be okay, no matter how hard I try. I just can't do anything right!"

"Look, Leana, I'm getting a little bit tired of your attitude. First you started skipping school, treating all your friends like they were trying to badger you into your work. You never let us talk to you so we could find a way to help. You have been treating Robin horribly, and you're lucky he's been so supportive of you. You made a mistake and you know it. That's no reason to wallow in self-pity. You need to get yourself together. You know, you're not the first person to screw up. You need to learn from it and get over it."

Leana felt numb as Gena's words penetrated. She couldn't believe her best friend was treating her this way and suddenly it all seemed unfair. "Well, Gena, if you don't want to be around me, then fine! Maybe you should just go and dunk yourself or something."
There was a moment of silence and then Gena rose and left without saying a word. Leana felt betrayed, but there was a part of her that thought she might feel this way because Gena was right.

& & & & &

A few hours later, Leana was shocked to learn Adame had come to see her. She went to the parlor and her blood chilled as she realized that Adame was furious. He didn't even give her the chance to say hello.

"Leana, I don't know what happened between you and Gena this afternoon, but it has to stop." He got up from his chair and began to pace. "Gena likes you, Leana, though after today I have to wonder why. Did you know she jumped in the river today?"

Adam continued before Leana could get past her surprise to answer. "It's a good thing she can swim. When I asked her why she had done something like that she said you told her to. . . and for some strange reason she thought you were right."

"I didn't mean. . .I wasn't serious. . ." Leana was at a loss for words. She had never seen the light-hearted Adame so furious.

"Well, she obviously thought you were. You need to think about this, Leana. You either need to make up with Gena and with Robin, who hasn't been himself for weeks, or leave all of us alone. I think Gena and Robin need you, but they don't need you the way you've been acting."

"How?" Leana asked in the barest of whispers. "How can I make it right?"

Adame stopped pacing to stare at Leana. Leana knew he was trying to determine if he should help her or try and get her to stay away from his friends. Finally he answered, "You could try apologizing, Leana. That would be a good start."

Leana watched as Adame left, not quite sure what to do. Different feelings began to race through her. At first she was shocked, then she felt angry. But these feelings quickly gave way to guilt. She knew she hadn't been treating her friends right, especially Robin.
Finally feeling resolve, she decided that apologizing to Gena was the first step. Then she could worry about Robin. Gena may even have some suggestions for her.

Leana made her way across the palace grounds, but slowed as doubts started creeping into her mind. What if Gena and Robin didn't accept her apology? Adame had seemed to think Gena might be better off without her.

I'm failing my classes, Gena hates me, Robin doesn't want me, I should just go away.
The more she thought about it, the better it seemed. Haven just wasn't working out. Leana turned towards the river, trying to figure out where she could go. But she began to cry once more when she realized she had no place to go.

Aunt Heln won't take me back. I don't want to stay in Haven. All the places I visited with dad would have taken us in, but they won't want the un-talented daughter of a bard free-loading with them. Maybe I should just disappear.

Yes. Disappear so she wouldn't hurt anyone again. Leana sobbed as she realized that she only had one option left. It probably should have ended when her father died, but she had been too much of a coward then. But not now. . .now she had no reason to try. She had tried --- and failed. And now there was nothing left.

:Not nothing: a voice intruded into her thoughts. :There is always something.:
Leana felt a presence behind her, but refused to turn. "Not for me, there isn't. Everything is messed up. There's no way to make things better. And all my friends hate me. No one will ever love me again!"

:I will.: The gentle voice continued and Leana felt something touch her shoulder. :I will love you and I will always be with you.: Leana turned and found herself looking into the bluest eyes she had ever seen. :I choose you, Leana. We will always be together and I will always love you.:

Leana felt love and warmth flood her and she flung her arms around the Companion's neck. "I just want to die!"

:No, chosen. Things will get better. I will be with you and I will help you. There is no

need to despair, not ever again.:

And as Leana continued to cry against her Companion's shoulder, her words of encouragement began to ignite hope within the depths of Leana's heart.