Chapter Three: A New Beginning

Leana stayed with her Companion long after she had stopped crying. She sat curled against Yonell's side, just absorbing the love that was offered.

"Hello?" someone called from behind them. Leana turned and saw Herald Talia coming towards her.

"Hello," Leana answered not sure what to expect from the Queen's Own.

Talia sat next to Leana, close enough to offer some comfort, but not close enough to intrude on the newly bonded pair. "I see you've been chosen."

Leana smiled, the first real smile she'd had in weeks. "Yeah. What am I supposed to now?"

Talia shared Leana's smile. "Right now, you're supposed to spend time with your Companion. It's important for the bond to grow. What's your name?"

"Leana."

"Do you live in the palace?"

"No, with my cousin Kayle in town."

Talia nodded. "I'll send someone down to your house to get your things and have you settled in new quarters by dinner time."

Leana was grateful she wouldn't have to do anything right now. She wasn't even sure how to take what was happening. It was a bit overwhelming. "Thanks."

"You don't sound very happy. Is there some reason you would rather not live at the palace?"

"It's not really that," Leana shrugged. "It's just . . .well I guess I never really saw myself as a Herald."

Talia laughed and placed a comforting hand on Leana's shoulder, "None of us ever do."
Leana felt oddly comforted by Talia's presence. But she had been in Haven long enough to know what Talia's gifts were, so she wasn't really surprised.

"Don't worry, trainee Leana," Talia told her as she got up to leave. "Being chosen is often a way to begin again. You can use this as a fresh start."

: She's right. You can use this time as a new beginning.:

The idea certainly had merit. She could now become Leana, Heraldic trainee, instead of Leana, unaffiliated failure.

:You should go and find your friends. Tell them the good news.:

Leana was startled, "But, Talia said I'm supposed to stay with you."

:I'll be here when you return. News travels fast in Haven and I know your friends will want to here this news from you. Besides, you will need to go up in order to eat soon.:

"Thank you," Leana said as she hugged Yonell one more time. Then she made her way back to the Collegium.

& & & & &

Leana took a deep breath as she stood outside Gena's door.

:Remember, Leana. Everyone makes mistakes.: Leana jumped slightly, not used to having intruding thoughts in her head. Somehow it hadn't seemed strange when she was right next to the Companion, but now that she was far away, the voice seemed somehow…odd. :Our friends are our friends because they are the ones who love us even when we do something foolish. They will forgive you.:

Armed with Yonell's love and faith, Leana knocked on the door.

"Come in," Gena's voice floated out. Leana let herself in and found Gena reading. Leana tried to say something, but the words stuck in her throat. She didn't know how to start.

"Lena?" Gena asked after a moment of silence.

"Gena . . . I just . . . I didn't mean . . ."

Gena rose and touched Leana's arm. "It's okay. What's the matter?"

"Oh, Genafer. I'm sorry," Leana said, pulling her friend into a hug. "I'm so sorry for everything."

Gena returned Leana's hug. "I'm sorry too, Leana." Gena's voice was thick with emotion. "I shouldn't have yelled at you. I knew something was bothering you and I just wanted to help."

"You have been helping, Gena. Just by being my friend after I've been such an idiot is the best thing anyone has done for me."

"Well, what are friends for?" Gena replied as she pulled back.

"Oh, Gena! I have some news." Leana's face broke into a smile as she told her friend about Yonell.

"But, Lena, that's wonderful! What did Kayle say?"

"I don't know. Herald Talia sent someone down to tell her and move my stuff into the palace. You're the first person I've told."

"You wanted to tell me first?"

"Sure. You're my best friend. You should be the first to know. And I wanted to make up with you."

"Well then. As your best friend, you have to take me with you to tell Robin the news." And before Leana could answer, Gena had grabbed Leana's arm and was dragging her down the hall. Gena opened the room and found Adame practicing and Robin reading.

"Hello boys!" She called out as they entered the room. "Lena has something to tell you." She pushed Leana in front of her.

Leana suddenly felt nervous about sharing her news. She hadn't seen Robin since the day before and she knew Adame was mad at her. But, Gena pushed her forward again. Robin smiled at her reassuringly as he put down his book.

Gena finally gave an exasperated sigh. "Good grief, Lena." She turned to address the boys. "Our speechless Leana has just been chosen."

There was a stunned silence, then Robin rose to stand in front of Leana. "Is this true?"
Leana nodded. "I'm going to be a Herald."

Robin suddenly grinned and pulled Leana into a hug. "I'm so happy for you."

Leana tensed when Robin first put his arms around her, but then she grabbed on desperately. Before she new it, she was softly crying again.

"What's the matter, Lena?"

"I've missed you," it came out as a whisper, but Robin heard her.

"I saw you only yesterday."

" I know, but it hasn't been the same. Not for a long time."

Robin rubbed her back soothingly. "No, it hasn't been."

Leana snuffled into his shirt. "You know, you haven't hugged me since your recital?"

Robin's arms tightened around her. "I'll try to hug you more often in the future," he promised.

& & & & &

The four friends made their way to dinner together and Leana had a chance to see all her other friends. She hadn't seen them since her accident and everyone was happy to hear her news.

"Just don't go all mysterious on us and talk to yourself all the time," Sera said mock sternly. "You'd better still eat with us."

Jewly chimed in, "Yea! And don't forget to tell us all the court gossip. You're going to be in a position to know a lot of it."

Leana laughed, "Well, I can't promise not to be a little mysterious. After all, that's half the fun of being a Heraldic trainee. But, I promise to tell you what gossip I can."
The girls seemed mollified and Leana enjoyed a wonderful dinner. Just as she was finishing, she saw Herald Talia approaching the table with a dark, young man.

"Leana, this is Travys. He's one of your year mates. He's agreed to show you around the trainee wing."

Travys stuck out his hand. "I'm glad there's another trainee," Leana hesitatingly took the proffered hand as he continued. "I was the first chosen for this coming year and I was afraid I'd be the only one until they all arrive. Rumor has it, it'll be at least three more weeks."

Travys' friendly attitude put Leana at ease and she willingly followed him towards her new quarters. Travys pointed out all the necessary places as they went past. "So, we don't actually start any classes until everyone's arrived?"

"Not, the Heraldic ones. We have to have orientation together and some of the other classes. But, that doesn't mean you get out of the classes you're attending now. There may be a modification, but most of your classes should remain the same for a while. There should be a schedule in your room."

& & & & &

Leana was surprised to find she had a room all to herself. Travys shrugged at her surprise and said the arrangements had been made at Talia's orders. And no one in the palace messed with Talia. Leana was glad that she had some time to get used to the whole Herald thing before starting her new classes. She was still in all the same classes as before, although she had secretly hoped she wouldn't have to take math once the new ones started, and Robin was helping her catch up with everything. And Yonell was trying to help in her own way, which usually consisted of carefully orchestrated comments that startled her chosen. And always at the worst possible time.

:You're supposed to be studying history, not Robin's hands.:

Leana yelped, "Don't do that!"

Robin looked up from the book. "Do what?" Then he saw her face. "Oh, your Companion."

Leana nodded. "I don't think I'll ever get used to her popping in my head."

:Well, get used to it because I'm not going anywhere.:

Leana sighed, "Or her attitude."

"I guess you'll just have to get used to it," Robin said. "It's not like your Companion is going anywhere."

Leana groaned. "That's exactly what she said."

"Sounds like a wise Lady."

Leana put her head in her hands, secretly pleased that Robin liked Yonell so much. And glad that he had forgiven her as easily as Gena. Things were indeed getting back on track and Yonell was always there to help her when she began to feel down. Her classes were getting caught up and she was back in good graces with everyone. Although she had to wonder how much was that was due to the fact that she had been chosen to become a Herald. Heralds seemed to be given more license than other people in Haven. She absolutely adored Yonell and spent as much time with her as she could down in Companion's Field. She an Robin were once again spending every day together. Lena would have given up on anything other than friendship if it hadn't been for Gena.

& & & & &

"He does so like you," Gena replied to Leana's frustration.

"Then why didn't he seem interested before? It's not like he was misunderstanding the situation."

"Well, maybe he likes those situations to be in private. Even I waited until I knew Adame was alone before I pounced on him."

"What about when I cornered him in his room?"

Gena thought for a moment. "Well, maybe you caught him so off guard that he didn't know what to think. Or maybe he's just really shy and coming on strongly made him panic. I don't know why he seemed so reluctant. But I do know that he talks about you constantly to Adame."

"He does?"

"Yes. I don't know what he says, because Adame won't tell me. But that's probably a good sign. Robin is probably telling Adame how much he likes you."

"I don't know—"

"Well, I do! All you need is the right plan. We know that ambushing him isn't such a good idea. Maybe you should try this . . ."

& & & & &

As the days continued, Leana slowly began to get used to Yonell's odd comments. Travys had taken to eating with her and her friends and as their other year mates arrived in Haven, they came to eat with them as well.

Aime was a bundle of energy. Short and petite, Leana knew it wouldn't be long before she was into everything. Havens forbid she started to pal around with Sara and Jewly. Rae, who looked like a distant cousin to Aime, just wanted to learn about what gifts she had. The two of them hadn't met before coming to Haven, but they immediately became inseparable. They even looked similar, except for their hair. And finally, Toni arrived. He didn't say much. Sometimes he ate with everyone else and sometimes he ate by himself. But Leana didn't have time to think about that more than a couple times because, with the arrival of Toni, her new classes began.

& & & & &

Adame and Robin were playing a their second round of Hinds and Hounds when Adame glanced up from the board. "Robbie, I know you're not the best at Hinds and Hounds, but you usually pay better attention than this. What's the matter?"

Robin sighed, running a hand through his hair as he sat back from the board. "I'm sorry, Adame. I guess my mind is a little preoccupied today."

Adame grinned, "Would this have anything to do with a certain Heraldic trainee?"

"Yes, but not in the way you mean."

Adame turned serious. "Is everything all right?"

"For now, yes." Robin got up and began to pace. A clear sign that he was feeling frustrated. "I'm afraid that I haven't seen the last of Leana's strange behavior. You know she never did talk to me about why she wanted to climb that tree and why she had been so out of sorts. If she hasn't dealt with it, it might come back."

"Don't borrow trouble, Robin," Adame advised. "Just because Lena hasn't spoken to you about this doesn't mean she hasn't spoken to someone else."

Robin perked up. "Has Lena spoken with Gena? Do you know anything? Can I help—"

"Robin," Adame cut in. "I don't know if Lena has spoken to Gena or not. Gena wouldn't break that kind of confidence. But I was thinking more along the lines of Lena's Companion. That's one of the reasons Heralds and Companions make such good teams, they can trust each their and the Companions can help their Chosen in a way no other can."

"You're right, of course," Robin said. "But I just wish I knew what was really going on."

"You can't force her to talk, Robin." At Robin's nod, Adame began to reset the board.

"Now, are you going to give me a challenge, or should we just declare me the winner for tonight?"

Robin grinned. "Let's play."

Robin managed to be completely engrossed in the game when there was a distinctive knock on the door. Leana came in after their invitation and immediately sprawled out on Robin's bed. When she didn't move or say anything, Robin became concerned.
"Lena? Are you alright?"

Leana didn't answer right away, but he finally heard her say, "As long as I don't have to move, I'm fine." She groaned as she shifted slightly in the bed to look at Robin. "Oh gods, I hurt!"

Robin then remembered that she had just started a new round of classes the other day.

"Weapons practice?" he asked.

Leana mutely nodded. Robin exchanged a look with his roommate and Adame began packing up the pieces of their game. Robin went to sit next to Leana on the bed. He gently began to massage her shoulders and arms, knowing that was where she would hurt the most. He felt Leana sigh and relax into the pillow.

"You're a lifesaver," she mumbled.

Robin smiled, glad to know that Leana was okay. "Just let me know if I start to hurt you."
He felt, rather than heard, Leana's chuckle. "You couldn't possibly hurt more than those practice blades."

"That bad, huh?" he asked, vaguely aware as Adame left the room.

"Worse."

"How about your other classes?" he asked. He was glad Adame had given them some privacy. His friendship with Leana was back on track, but Robin was hoping to change that soon. But he knew he had to tread carefully. Something had happened to Leana and he still didn't know what. Right now he concentrated on getting her relaxed.

"Well, my orientation class is over as of today. Dirk was happy to let us go. Aime and Rae were about to drive him nuts."

"Really. Why?"

"Poor Dirk was having trouble telling them apart and they decided to use that to their advantage."

Robin was slightly confused. "They may look similar in the face, like they were cousins, but Aime's a brunette and Rae's blond."

"Oh, that's right. You've missed lunch the last couple of days."

Robin had needed to rehearse with some of his fellow students the last few days and the only time that everyone was free was during lunch. Robin had refused to even think about filling the afternoon with rehearsals that was his time to spend with Leana. "What happened at lunch?"

"Well, it didn't happen at lunch, but you would've seen the effects of it. See, Aime found a Herald-Mage trainee to turn her hair blond."

"Oh no!"

"Oh, yes. Poor Dirk's been pulling his hair out!"

Robin chuckled, sorry he had missed them at lunch. "So now that your orientation class is over, what will you be doing?"

"I'll start gift classes soon," Leana's voice began to trail off. "They'll test us to see what gifts we have and then determine if we need to get trained right away or if it can wait." Robin was aware that Leana was about to fall asleep.

"Come on, Lena," he urged as he slowly got her to her feet. "You need to get something to eat, take a long soak, and go to bed."

Leana wobbled a little as she stood and then put her arms around Robin. "I don't suppose you want to help."

Robin was shocked for a moment and feared that something really was wrong with Leana again. But then he realized she was still half-asleep, which was why she had her arms around him for support.

Leana continued. "I really don't think I can make it back to my room by myself."
Robin lifted Leana into his arms. "Come on, Herald-to-be, I think it's past your bedtime" Robin carefully took her to her room and placed her on the bed. He managed to get both boots off before she curled up into a ball. He pulled the covers over her and gently kissed her hair before going in search of some food he could leave for her.

& & & & &

When Robin returned to his room later that evening, Adame was waiting for him. "You and Leana certainly make a cute couple."

Robin made a face. "You know full well that Leana and I are just friends."

Adame nodded slowly, "Which is why she came here when she was so exhausted and flung herself on your bed, giving you the perfect chance to get your hands on her." Robin didn't answer. He and Adame had been through this before. "Look," Adame said into the silence, "I know you're worried about how she was acting before and why she acted that way. But, all you have to do is ask her."

Robin thought about it as he tried to fall asleep. Maybe he should just ask her. It would probably be a difficult and embarrassing conversation, but at least there would be less confusion. He just needed to wait for the right time.

& & & & &

Leana didn't get to see Robin the next afternoon. She had been kept after her new class with several Heralds because she had an unusual gift.

"I just don't know what to make of it," Herald Teren said, looking at the other Heralds for help. Talia, Dirk, and Teren had all been trying to figure out exactly what gift Leana had for the last couple of hours.

Talia must have sensed that their confusion was starting to scare Leana because she looked right at Leana and explained. "We can tell that you have a moderate gift for mindspeech."

"Which is normal for most Heralds," Dirk assured her.

Talia continued, "But it's not your primary gift. You have a very strong gift that none of us have ever seen before."

"What kind of gift is it?" Leana asked.

"We don't really know, yet," Teren told her. "It's similar to empathy, but not quite." He shook his head. "We just can't get a proper fix on it."

:Tell them it's because you're blocking your gift.:

"Do you know what this gift is?" Leana asked, hoping the Companion may have an answer.

:No. But I do know that, although you have used it in the past, you're blocking yourself from doing so now.:

"Yonell says she doesn't know what this gift is, but that you can't get a fix on it because I'm blocking it."

"In that case," Teren decided. "We'll put you in a class by yourself. We'll find a way to unblock you and then maybe we can find out exactly what this gift is."
When Leana was finally dismissed, she quickly made her way to Kayle's house for dinner. She tried to spend at least a couple nights with Kayle, now that she was living at the palace. If she hurried, she could just make it in time.

& & & & &

Kayle was proud of Leana. Leana knew this because Kayle had told her more than fifty times since she had been home. It was nice, actually, to have someone in her family close by. Someone who told her they were proud of her. Someone who had known her father.
After dinner, Leana climbed back onto Yonell's back and they headed back towards the palace. She wanted to talk to Robin about her afternoon, but it was already approaching dusk and she didn't want to bother him. He needed to rehearse and all she would do is talk about this strange gift of hers.

:He would enjoy your company.: Yonell said. :And he may make you feel less uncertain about having a gift the Heralds don't recognize.:

"You don't think he'd mind?"

Yonell snorted. :Of course not. I bet he's missed you since yesterday.:

Leana felt her cheeks grow slightly warm. "Okay. I guess I can stop by."

Yonell didn't reply, but her gait suggested that she was pleased with herself.
Leana met Robin as he was coming out of his door. "Lena. I didn't think I'd see you today."

"I had a bit of trouble with my new class so I had to stay over," she explained. "But, I thought maybe I could tell you about it. . .but you're on your way out—"

Robin closed his door behind him. "I was just on my way to go walk in the gardens. We can talk out there." Robin took Leana's hand and led her outside.

Leana told him everything that had happened that afternoon. And she told him how worried she was that this meant her gift was something dangerous or bad. But Robin didn't seem at all concerned.

"Lena, there was a time not long ago when mage gift was unknown and unidentified."

"True, but it was usually found as something else, like farsight. This is new."

"If this gift has been identified as something else in the past, you wouldn't know it, Lena.

And maybe they've learned not to make assumptions now. Or it may be a gift usually not found in Heralds."

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe it's a gift that is usually found with the Healing gift and it's just now come as a Heraldic gift. And maybe they just found it in you because your only other gift is moderate mindspeech. Maybe in other Heralds it was always found as a small gift of empathy."

"I guess."

"Just wait and see. They'll find out they've been missing a gift for years because they've been too caught up in everything else."

Leana smiled, "I knew you'd make me feel like there's nothing to worry about." She saw Robin return her smile, but could see that something was still bothering him. "What is it, Robin?"

Robin stopped walking, looking around for something. Then, looking determined, he pulled Leana over to a bench and sat down. "I want to talk to you about something, but I think it's going to be an uncomfortable conversation."

Leana's stomach dropped and she already felt uncomfortable, but she nodded to let Robin know he should continue.

"I just wanted to know why you were treating me so strangely before. Why you were trying to se – seduce me." Robin's face was a painful red and Leana could feel her face begin to match.

"I guess I just wanted to," Leana answered. "It seemed like a good idea at the time. I felt bad about all the fighting we'd been doing and I thought . . .Well I was trying to fix things between us."

Robin took her right hand in his. "Lena, that's not the way to fix things."
Leana realized that Robin was misunderstanding. "I didn't mean . . .I was convinced at the time that the reason we were fighting was because of the frustration I was feeling about just being friends. I thought if we became more than friends the frustration would be taken care of and things would go back to normal."

"Well, we're here now," Robin pointed out. "And you didn't need to seduce me to get me out here." Leana smiled at Robin, anticipating what would come next. "But, under the circumstances, I think we should take things slowly."

Leana's heart sank as she realized Gena had been wrong. Robin wasn't interested in her, he just wanted to make sure she wouldn't act crazy again. "You really don't need to patronize me," she said, pulling away from Robin. "you can just tell me you're not interested."

"Lena—"

"That way you don't have to worry about me trying to jump you anymore."

"Lena!"

"I'd rather just know the truth than—"

"Damn it, Leana!" Robin swore and he pulled Leana's face to his, kissing her fiercely. Leana was too shocked to respond at first, but then she put her arms around Robin pulling him closer. When they finally pulled apart, Robin placed his forehead on Leana's. "I am interested. I just don't want to do anything to mess this up. And I don't want you doing this under the influence of being . . ."

"Crazy," Leana answered. Who would want to be with a crazy girl?

"No, not crazy," Robin was quick to reply, making Leana feel better. "Just out of character." Robin leaned in to kiss Leana again, this time softly. Leana's mind took a moment to catch up to realize that Robin was speaking. ". . .but the worst is over. I just don't want to risk our relationship on anything."

Leana felt a bit of dread at the mention of her 'uncharacteristic' behavior. "What if it comes back, Robin?" she asked fearfully. "It's happened twice before."

Robin pulled her securely in his arms and Leana felt herself relax despite her fears.
"But next time it will be different. Next time you won't have to face it alone. I can help you. We all can."

"I didn't do so well with you guys looking out for me last time." Leana pointed out.

"Maybe not. But last time you didn't have Yonell. Trust her, Lena. She won't let anything happen to you."

Leana tried to be comforted, but she feared that she hadn't seen the last of this strange feeling inside her. She just hoped that Yonell's influence would be enough.