Authors Note: SORRY IT'S BEEN SO LONG! Finals! But good news! I know how I'm going to end this story now. So I should be able to get the next chapter up reasonably soon!

THANKS TO ALL THAT REVIEWED

Chapter 4: Don't Breathe Too Deep

Before Roger had a chance to even begin to ask how Mark was doing, something crashed into him from behind, causing him to lose his balance. Thankfully, before he hit the ground, the thing that crashed into him managed to steady him. Roger regained his balance and turned to see Collins, complete in his hospital gown, standing right behind him.

"Tom! What are you doing out of bed!" One of the nurses said before crossing the room. She grabbed his arm and tried to lead him out, but Collins held his ground.

"Mark…" Collins said, his usually powerful voice was weak and sounded exceptionally hopeless. Roger was very much aware that when Collin's sounded hopeless, it was not a good thing.

Roger tried to get closer, but the doctors and other nurses were still swarming around the still body of his best friend. Sighing, but refusing to give up, he turned to the two nurses that were now standing by Collins. There was the original nurse that asked him if he knew Mark and the other that was trying to convince Collins that he should be in bed.

Collins met Roger's gaze, questioning the situation, but Roger ignored it and looked away.

"Is he going to be ok?" Roger asked the two nurses. Part of him didn't want to know the answer. Mark HAD to be ok. There was no option. Roger could not be Roger without Mark. They had been together for years, they were inseparable. Without Mark, Roger had a sickening feeling that he would have died long ago. Probably with April, if he hadn't overdosed before then.

One of the doctors, a young man in his 30s, left the circle and motioned for Roger and Collins to follow him out of the room.

The doctor led them out and into the sterile white hallway. Roger tried his best not to focus on the sounds coming from Mark's room. The white of the hallway was so bright, the place smelled so sterile. Roger hated hospitals. He hated everything about them, from the smell to the rooms to the people that worked inside of them. He knew the doctors were good people, that, for the most part, they strived to help their fellow man, but he hated them. They had not been able to help Angel, they couldn't help Mimi, and they always delivered bad news.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Ferguson; I am the primary physician on Mr. Cohen's case. We've been working on him since he was brought in and he is stable for now, although his injuries are pretty severe." The doctor began. Roger felt himself sink into a chair in the hallway that was directly behind him.

"Should I continue?" The doctor asked, shooting a look of concern towards Roger

"Yes, sorry" Roger stated and stood back up in an attempt to put on a strong front.

"Mr. Cohen was brought into the hospital with severe damage to his lungs from smoke inhalation, although his actual body doesn't have to severe burns. However, when the stairs in the building collapsed, Mark was on them. Fortunately he must have been towards the bottom, or else the fall could have killed him. However, he has numerous avulsions and contusions from the fall resulting in extensive blood lose. Since he's thinner than a male his age and height should be, he is more susceptible to rapid blood lose. I'm also concerned about his head. He has a pretty sever injury from the fall. We are waiting on test results to examine any damage. The damage to his lungs is severe enough to keep him from breathing on his own, that's what the respirator is for."

The doctor took a deep breath before continuing. "His injuries are very serious, but Mark is obviously a fighter" The doctor smiled in an attempt to comfort the two friends. "We will leave for the time being. You can stay with him though"

The doctors warm encouraging smile made Roger feel so much more relaxed. "Thank you doctor" he said earnestly, before turning and entering Marks room.

Before he made it in, a hand grabbed his shoulder.

"There was a fire?" Collins said his eyes wide.

"Yeah"

"The loft is gone?"

"Yeah" Roger knew that this news should be more of a concern for him. Everything they owned was in the loft. Everything they had in this world, this world that seemed to just give the bohemian friends hell. How much more could they take before their family was completely destroyed?

Roger knew he would trade everything in that loft and his own life just for Mark to be ok. He wished that he stayed back instead of going for the walk. Even if they had been in there when the loft caught fire, Roger was sure that together they could have gotten out. Mark and Roger could do anything as long as they were together.

Roger sighed and ran his fingers through his dirty blond hair. He then entered Mark's room.

Collins looked troubled and made to follow Roger back into the room. This time the nurse was not having it. After an argument that Roger was sure would wake Mark up, Collins agreed to leave. The nurse promised she would update him with any changes in Marks condition.

After everyone left, Roger sat in the chair next to his still best friend.

"Jesus Mark… I…" so many thoughts came to his mind. What do you say to your best friend, your brother, the one person you can't live without in a time like this? Roger took Mark's hand and held it in his own. He did his best to ignore the machines hooked up to his friend. They were helping him breath, monitoring his frail grip on life.

Mark did look like he had been through hell. It was hard to believe that the person on the bed was the lively filmmaker that was always managing to keep a smile on, even if it was just for Roger's sake.

"Mark, I'm so sorry. I should have been there to help you get out. You shouldn't be here right now. Please. I know I haven't been the easiest roommate or nearly the type of best friend you deserve, but please, you mean the world to me. I need you to be here with me. I'm nothing without you. I pulled back from April's death and again from Mimi only because I had you with me. I can't be Roger without Mark." Roger chocked back a sob.

"I'm supposed to go first. You're the one to survive. Man, I can't do this, I can't be alone. You are so strong. So strong.." Roger said, this time openly crying

"You don't deserve this." Roger said when he stopped the tears long enough to make a coherent sentence.

Roger wasn't a religious person, but he suddenly began yelling out to whatever God was listening to him. "YOU HERE THAT! HE DOESN'T DESERVE THIS! WHAT HAS HE EVER DONE OTHER THAN BE A GOOD PERSON. HE TAKES CARE OF EVERYONE! HE NEVER DOES ANYTHING BUT LOVE US ALL"

Roger collapsed back into his chair, catching his breath. Just as he began to calm down his worst nightmare occurred. The machines helping keep Mark alive started beeping in a rapid chorus that matched the panic in Roger's heart.