Chapter 33: Reluctance
November 26th. Around Noon.
(Track Field.)
[Kei]
Panting, almost feeling like if I lose any speed I'll fall over, I continue to run. Those two annoying ponytails being ahead of me, almost as if I were following her line.
"…So, you still think… he's a normal cadet?"
"He just… is very talented." She retorts, trying to not lose breath or speed.
Yeah, right. Shirogane bested the preliminary level during this morning practice. In his first try. Trampling the best record by a factor of five, add that to his already large list of oddities.
He even had the balls to try and give us some pointers, acting all friendly. In no way a normal person could attain such aptitude by mere independent training, even a genius would take time adapting to the controls, anyone would make mistakes in their first piloting sessions, no matter how tiny.
But you don't, Special-kun.
"Ayamine, please stop showing such open enmity towards Shirogane." Mitsurugi, catching up behind me, said. "He has… his own reasons to possess such skill."
"And he can't tell us because…"
"Because it's tied to his prior location." Arching her brows, me slowing down to run by her side, she sighs in thankfulness. "Surely you do remember what occurred… to Yukon Base merely some months ago?"
"…So that's where he was?"
"Indeed. He requested me and Sakaki to not divulge the details, however, he has a valid reason to… have cleared Level D as fast as he did."
"And why didn't you said anything?"
Suspicious, too suspicious. Mitsurugi never would hesitate to defend someone, nor would she remain quiet if she could prevent an issue by being frontal.
"…He asked us to remain quiet, and it is a serious matter for him. Furthermore, I believe it best if Shirogane himself decided when to speak of it with the rest." Looking right at me, an avalanche would have less impulse than her gaze, she may be stomping her boots as hard as she can to keep up the pace, yet her words flew out with far more vigor than our stride.
"…Got it. My bad."
"No, I wasn't placing blames on your shoulders." As sincere and open as habitual, that's what I like about you. "However, there is little reason to ignore him as you did earlier. Shirogane was merely trying to be attentive after his performance."
"…I see."
Maybe I let the frustration of, yet again, being on the same spot as the princess control me. But if she says this much… What happened to him? Was he forced to pilot against his will? I don't understand why she would refuse to speak of…
Hmm… Oh, right. Special-kun said once… that he got someone killed. And yet, he could so easily murder those soldiers…
No, he was rather down when we met again back at the base… Am I the asshole right now, then? I guess that, by screening him out, all I did was sour the mood for the rest. It still doesn't sit right with me, how easily they're letting it slide. He killed our fellows, he actually did it himself. All that I had to go through after Mom and Dad… Why do you get forgiven so fast? What didn't I do?
As the laps kept going, as it felt as if my socks were getting ingrained in between my fingers, my mind replayed the video footage that was shown on the monitor of his run. Again, as a soldier, I've nothing but respect. But it's too odd, too out of place. He did some… unorthodox movements at times, yet it is obvious Special-kun knows the basics already, at the least. Why? Why does he inspires such trust in the rest? I was always… doing my best and trying to help… and all I got were screams from the princess and some nods from Tamase, whenever she actually tried to be part of the conversation that is.
Slowing down, jogging away from the track once I finished my run, my boots dragged themselves to a tap, refreshing myself. While I didn't expect the Instructor to ease up, having to run right after the sim practice is truly a new flavor of hell. Luckily, today is yakisoba sandwich day.
"Well, Tamase is already finished." The princess said, tapping her glasses. "Are you all ready to go get lunch?"
Yoroi and Mitsurugi agree, I nod, Tamase hurries up to drink some water and wash her face. All together, we return to the barracks to wash ourselves properly, they debating the trainings as we did.
"Um, Ayamine-san?" Tamase had come to my side, both of us walking behind the rest.
"What's up?"
"How did you manage to maneuver through those two buildings at the middle of the test?" Speaking slowly, a hand on an elbow, she almost gave me a small bow when asking.
"Hm? I just tried to position myself for the next jump, by making a dash through the opening." But then, I got shot down by one of those odd giant balls they use as the targets.
"I see… So you were trying to prepare another jump then."
"Yeah, I don't have your shooting, so all I can do is try to put some distance between me and the targets."
"Come on, my shooting isn't that great… I even ended up failing the run because I ran out of time." And again, she sighs and, well, everything in her hunches over.
"But you didn't get hit. Good job." I pat her shoulder, giving her a thumbs up.
She truly did a great job in there, she did miss some shots but not a single target made contact with her during the run. She's the only one, bar Special-kun, who didn't sustain any damage at all.
"Ahaha… Thanks, really. So, um, would you like to accompany me to the library before dinner to reread some of the chapters about tactics?"
"Sure."
"Hey, hey, what're you talking about?" Yoroi slowed down, coming near.
"I was just asking Ayamine-san if she didn't mind coming with me to the library later, to review some of the controls and maneuvers in the manuals. Would you like to join us, Yoroi-san?"
"Sure thing! Though, I still can't believe the amount of targets we have to deal with near the end." She sighs, scratching her head.
Yoroi also did very well, scoring third place in the run. I didn't think she'd move so nimbly in a TSF, and her aim also isn't anything to scoff at. Sure, Mitsurugi handled herself better and received less damage, which is why she got second place, but Yoroi's performance was better than mine for sure. She may always seem to be in the clouds, but can also get shit done when it counts.
"Damn right, can't believe they sent three at us at the same time." If it hadn't been for that, I would have passed the very first course at least. Nothing like Special-kun who cleared the whole level, but still making progress.
"I do agree that, perhaps, the last segment is unnecessarily treacherous." Mitsurugi joined in, her arms folded as she nodded. "I barely managed to react on time to the threat."
"Regardless, you and Yoroi managed to complete your first run." She taps her glasses, sadly joining in as well. "I was thinking on going to the library after the afternoon course, what are your plans?"
"Me, Kei-san, and Miki-san were going before dinner, to get a small breather." She answers for us, not noticing how the princess' eyes narrowed as she did.
"I see. Perhaps we could all go together, then. Mitsurugi, would you happen to have plans already?"
"…I am planning on taking some time for myself, there is something I need to look into." Looking away, sounding solemn, yet another wall erected between us.
"I see. Then, what about going to the library after the next training?" Tapping her glasses, looking away from Mitsurugi, away from the rift, she yet again tried to make us do what she wants to do.
Looking at Tamase, the hand on her elbow is rubbing it over and over, in a slow but constant rhythm. She's slightly looking down, her lower lip pursed. But she won't speak up. If the princess asks directly she'll just say yes, to not be a bother.
"Sorry, I'm going before dinner." She sends me another narrowed gaze, crossing her arms.
"And, why is that? We could all debate together on our impressions after our first formal day of training, that would benefit the squad as a whole, to compare our logs and find ways to improve together." Then, for some reason, she rose a finger up and started to make circles in the air. "So, it would be better for us to at least do a small review together."
Tamase kept looking away from us, her steps becoming a bit delayed. She should know how sensitive Tamase is to the whole 'for the better of the team' approach. Why can't she piss off and let us progress at our own pace? It's not like we passed the CCSE because of her. Some squad leader you are, you ended up being more of a dead weight than anyone else.
"Don't feel like it. I'll hit the books by dusk."
"Sigh… Why must you always act on your own like this?" Frowning much, she rose both hands up, looking away. "Fine, study by yourself. Don't come complaining at us when you keep making amateur mistakes."
"…Why don't you save those words for when you can actually pilot better than the rest, princess?"
"What was that?"
"You heard me. You're not the ace of the squad, you don't have any right to go around dissing or bossing us around. Seems to me like this is you trying to get Yoroi and Tamase to show you their maneuvering and shooting data."
"You…" She stops walking, facing me as she frowns.
"Sakaki, stop!" Mitsurugi grabs her shoulder, preventing her from getting closer. "We cannot start this again."
"Stand back, Mitsurugi. Ayamine, what is it with you now?"
"I won't let you diss me. A squad leader that's dead weight on the CCSE, who can't even get a single, decent score in her training has no right to be bossing us around as you do."
"First, I wasn't dead weight. And if we're going by the scores, you're tied with me."
Tch… That's only because I tried to actually clear the mission instead of playing it safe like you always do. I got shot down instead of receiving high damage, that's the only reason I got the same score as you.
"And unlike you, I'm trying to help the whole squad. Study by yourself if you want, keep that poker face you always make, but can you stop getting in our way if you don't have anything to contribute?"
"Sakaki-san, that's going too far!" She finally spoke up, still holding her elbow despite how she was, very subtly at it, quivering.
"Yeah, we can't start fighting again!" Yoroi said, placing herself between us.
"She started it, I'm just drawing the line." She shrugs, rolling her eyes.
"You didn't ask for our input, as soon as I spoke you got all pissed off. Some leader you are." She gritted her teeth, Mitsurugi sighed as she shook her head, and Yoroi looked back at me while furrowing her brows.
"Kei-san, please stop this!"
"Why? You okay with being bossed around without a care?"
"Well… But that's not what's going on here."
"I was taking into account our combined goals." Tapping her glasses, she exhales through her nose. "While I am the leader and I could order you around, I was asking you what you thought, and you immediately chose to answer aggressively. You're the one at fault here, Ayamine." Again raising a finger, her tone also did the same.
"Ever heard of asking for an opinion? Don't recall you asking me or Tamase our plans before you tried to make us agree to yours."
"…Huh?" Her stride halted, she blinks quickly while looking at me, then at Tamase. "Don't use her as a shield for your-"
"Why don't you ask her, then?" I then tap her shoulder, giving her a nod. Still rubbing her elbow, she takes a step forward.
"…I… I wanted to write a letter today, for my Papa, so, um… I can't… go to study after the trainings…"
"…I see. Sigh… You should just have said so."
"W-Well… I… I was… Um…"
"You started preaching about the team, made her feel bad for not coming along." Mitsurugi and Yoroi shoot me a glare, I shrug.
"Sakaki, I believe this little discussion has been solved." Mitsurugi said, caressing her hair. "Ayamine, you shouldn't have reacted as you did. Assuming Sakaki had ill intentions won't do us any favors."
"Not my fault she can't ask for an opinion before shoving hers down our throats."
"What was that?! You're the one who's always blowing everything out of proportion!" Again frowning and with that damn finger up doing circles, her voice rose to even more annoying levels.
"Who was the one who dissed the other first again?"
"Ugh… You could have simply told me Tamase wanted to study later." Folding her arms she looks away, from me and her own faults while trying to keep a expression as neutral as the UN.
"C-Come on, you two." Yoroi hesitantly steps back, giving both of us a look. "This was just a misunderstanding."
"Indeed. I am convinced none of us here are wishing to be subjected to yet another lecture on teamwork by the Instructor." Mitsurugi nods to herself, folding her arms.
"Um…" Again grabbing her elbow, again looking down. "I'm sorry, I should have spoken out by myself."
"…No, Ayamine is partly right." Oh goddammit, how thick can she be? Partly my ass, it was your miss. "My apologies, Tamase. I suppose I should begin by asking your opinions before anything." Tapping her glasses, she sighs. Then, she looks at me. "That being said, you could try to be more direct next time."
"…Sorry, Tamase. Didn't meant to put pressure on you." She shakes her head, giving me a smile. You're too good to be a soldier.
"…Aren't you forgetting something, Ayamine?" Raising the finger, she eyed me sideways.
"…Oh, right. Today is yakisoba day, don't have time to waste on you."
"Wha… Why, you-"
"Chizuru-san, no! Kei-san, you too!" Pouting much, she again placed herself between us.
"Sigh… By goodness." Again sending a hand to the ponytail, she gave us a worried look. "Despite everything, Ayamine is right. We are tardy for the PX. Let's leave this matter behind."
"Yes, please stop fighting!" Tamase also chimed in, doing an effort to frown and seem upset. A caterpillar would certainly instill more fear in the CO than her on us right now.
"Don't worry, won't let her get under my skin." Nodding her way, I could practically hear the princess' groans.
"Mmgh… Sigh… Fine, let's just go." We start walking, me behind Tamase and near a wall. "So, are you in agreement to study before dinner then?"
I nod, Yoroi also does the same, Mitsurugi says that in that case she can also join in, Tamase thanks them, and we continue walking on. Yoroi again tried to engage us in one of her ramblings, so I used that opening to relieve some tension by joking about the news.
Still, the nerve. Must be nice in that glass house of yours, seeing nothing wrong with your own behavior. She was the one who pushed the issue and resorted to insults. I was an idiot for thinking that the test had changed her way of being.
The sun coming in strongly through the windows, Kyozuka-san shouting at someone who didn't want to get beans in the rice, the usual ruckus of the PX welcomed us as we got close to the entrance. The line was larger than usual, thanks to us wasting time, but luckily we all could get our full plate.
"And 'ere, some extra yakisoba for you, Ayamine." She gives me her usual grin, placing an extra sandwich on my plate.
"Thanks, Ma'am." Giving her a bow and a smile, that only makes hers grow even more.
"Haha, don't mention it. Y'all started the pilot training, right? So, how's it goin'?"
"Well enough, we're doing fine."
"Good for y'all. So…" She furrows her brows, leaning in, covering her mouth, and speaking in a whisper. "…'bout that Shirogane… He still giving ya trouble?"
"…He's kinda odd, but at least he isn't bothering me."
"I see. That's good to hear. Keep up the good work, girl. And if ya need an ear, ya know where to find me." Again grinning my way, I nodded back and gave her a small bow.
Going my way to the table, I wonder why she asked me that. What are people saying of Special-kun now? He never had a good reputation, so maybe there are people who only heard of him killing people and are spreading a rumor or something? I mean, he did help Mitsurugi. I do recognize that. But I can't speak up, if someone links me to him, I'm done for. It's back to being constantly badmouthed behind my back like when I just got here at the start of the year.
Sitting down by Tamase's side, with the other three in front of us, we began to eat, discussing what we thought of the trainings so far.
"Did ya see? He ain't around today, either."
Hm? Are those people… Yep, looking around our way, even if they're trying to be subtle. Subtle as a brick, and thick as the princess' eyebrows.
"Told you the guy was a bastard. That's why they have him under surveillance." Another 'whispered' to the group.
"I heard he killed some of our men when they were unarmed, even threatened the squad to fail the test if they rattled him out."
…It's the same they did with me.
Whenever I was late for the PX, they would say I was looking for things to break, for ways to sabotage the UN. Saying I was planning to steal, that I was doing comforting duties for a high rank, and all kinds of shit. Clamping the lips and deafening myself was all I could do. And thankfully, no one bothers me now. But no one spoke out for me, save for Kyozuka-san.
I know they're lying. Special-kun didn't kill unarmed soldiers, and he didn't threaten us. Those chasers also attacked us three, so I can sort of understand how he could have been left out of choices… but he still resorted to killing. Does that make it okay to ignore these lies? I have no choice but to do so. If I speak up, they'll lump me together with him, then it's back to daily hell.
…But it's unfair. And, if he… was in that base when that terrorist attack happened, then I suppose… he could have been made to fight. He wasn't lying when I questioned him either. Munching on my sandwich, closing my eyes, I can do nothing but listen in.
"Excuse me." Tapping her glasses, and with the other hand pressed onto Mitsurugi's arm, the princess turned around. "Would you happen to be speaking of my squadmate?"
"Huh?" The man blinked for a second, not expecting a reaction. "Oh… Yeah, that bastard. You got my sympathy for being paired up with that-"
"Could you kindly retract your words?" Crossing her arms, narrowing her eyes, she shot them a glare.
What the hell is going on here? Is she… speaking up so that Mitsurugi doesn't have to?
"…Huh, so that's how is it." A woman that was seated on that table, leaned her cheek on a hand, smirking. "Guess you don't like us speaking bad of your man."
"If you don't realize the folly that is speaking behind someone's back without knowing anything, then I will have to again ask you to take back those words."
"I, too, must ask you to refrain from speaking in such a way towards him." Mitsurugi, folding her arms and squinting her eyes, glared at them.
"Ah… No, I mean… Didn't that guy… you know…"
"If you're referring to the accidents, yes, he had to." Raising a finger again, she sighed before brushing some hair off her face. "To protect us, because those soldiers were trying to maim all five of us."
"Eh?! But… that American-"
"He's Japanese, and protected us against his better interests. Please take your words back." Tapping her glasses, she insisted. Mitsurugi was giving them all a stern look, nodding to the words.
The tables around us simply fell silent, some wide eyed, others looking away, others standing up and leaving. The man fumbled an apology before turning back, the woman simply left in a hurry.
"…Such foolhardy way of being." Mitsurugi whispers, coiling a fist.
"I don't know what I expected from the UN." Tapping her glasses, she fumes as she drinks some juice.
"Are you sure that was a good idea, Chizuru-san? I mean, we're just cadets."
"There's no way we could just let that go, can we?" Raising a finger again, Mitsurugi nodded to her words.
"I wonder how Shirogane-san is taking all this…" Hunching over, her fork stopped cold.
…
"…Why did you do that?" I couldn't help but ask.
"Huh? What do you mean?" Raising one of those thick eyebrows, she looked up my way.
"Why did you speak out for him?"
"What? Because they were speaking ill of him, of course!"
"You could have ignored it."
"Don't be ridiculous! In no way I would let anyone spread such baseless accusations towards of one of my squadmates."
"…Then, why didn't you do the same for me back then?"
…
Her mouth hanging open, she can't find an answer. Because she doesn't have one.
"Ayamine, Sakaki didn't mean… anything by remaining quiet back then." Her tone slower than usual, a hand tracing her fringe. "We all were getting acquainted to the UN, so everybody was merely exercising caution on how to deal with the issues the others may have. Which is why we placed the policy in the first place, and, well, since you never requested our aid, I personally didn't think it wise to speak out of turn without knowing if you'd welcome the intrusion."
…
"…I see." Gulping down what's left of my juice in one go, munching down the remaining half of my sandwich, I then pick up the tray and stand up.
"Ah, Kei-san! We didn't-"
"Later."
Picking up speed, I go to the counter and leave the tray. Looking down, I leave towards the barracks, to get my books for the short lecture we have before the afternoon training.
Same day. Around an hour after that.
(Sim Room.)
[Takeru]
Yawn… Man, what a pain this is.
The stock Fubuki appears in my sight, not even moving. The shots are fired without me needing to align them well, without actually testing my precise shooting. Down it goes in stock explosions, another appears shortly after crouching by a building a bit farther ahead.
While getting the hang out of this OS again isn't exactly easy, these fights aren't really doing much for me either. But I can't steamroll through all of this or the girls will get all paranoid again. Level D with all the basic drills was a chore to deal with, and these first two missions of C aren't exactly challenging in the slightest since assisted aim is on, the enemies don't move, and they also don't attack immediately.
Really, training with Valgern-On would be far better than this, other than for getting used to the shaking, but it could be done in a better way. Sigh… However, Sensei said she didn't want to give us the XM3 yet, and if I press her anymore, with how pissed she was yesterday night for some reason, that won't end good.
I finish off the last Fubuki and quickly shoot a volley at the sudden shadow, flinching a bit at the alarm. I was kind of doing things on auto, so that shook me wide awake.
"Exercise C-8 completed. Well done, Cadet Shirogane." Takamura grins in the projection. "You achieved yet another record time, congratulations."
"I see. Good to know. Is this all for today?"
"Yes, that shall be all. Unbolt yourself and come on out." Cutting the connection, the projection also disappears and I'm back at the cockpit.
Once I'm done and ready to get out, moving my neck as I do, I spot Mikoto coming out as well from her pod, followed by Tama on the next one.
"Hey. How was your run?"
"Oh, mine wasn't all that bad." Mikoto smiles, coming to my side as we walk. "I got to the last mission in Level D just now. Didn't expect another of those flying balls at the end, though."
"So, you couldn't complete it?"
"No, the alarm also caught me off guard, so I messed up my shot's timing." She sighs, scratching her head.
"Yeah, that alarm is truly scary." Tama quivers a bit. "But your tips were very useful, Shirogane-san. Thanks to that I also reached the last mission in Level D today, but I failed it too."
"I see. That's good to hear, you two. That's awesome progression for a first day." Giving them a thumbs up, they chuckle as we get to the open area.
Tama always has problems with her pace. It was why she got taken out in that mock battle where Kei and Chizuru just refused to cooperate until the last minute. She's too cautious, so she's the one who's less likely to commit to a full boost dash or even try to engage at melee. So, I simply told her that it's better to screw up at the start, and that she shouldn't discard being more offensive, like she was during our match in Valgern-On with the Game Guy, by first mastering dashes and firing as she did so.
Mikoto, on the other hand, is the one who is always trying to outmaneuver the opponent, so I told her to be more concise, to shoot first and move later, or do both as she keeps the distance. That way, just like my world's Mikoto, she can get more done in the same move. Instead of always looking for a vantage point, she should polish her already good instinct for dashes to force mistakes on the opponent. This will let her see her potential for midrange shooting faster, while also teaching her the importance of spacing for whenever we get the XM3.
Getting back to the Instructor, Meiya was again shaking her head as Kei and Chizuru were with their back turned to each other. Let me guess… those two couldn't get close to clearing Level D today.
"Alright, squad, line up!" We do as ordered, I eye those two as we did.
Chizuru has the inner side of her brows firmly planted down, her arms glued to her sides. Kei had her poker face as usual, but her hands were coiled a bit too tightly. Sigh…
"You've done spectacular progress for a first formal day. Shirogane has already taken on Level C, and Mitsurugi, Yoroi, and Tamase are at the last movement exercise as well. While Sakaki and Ayamine found some setbacks, they're also close by. This was a much better first day than many others squads enjoyed, congratulations." She smirks, so we can't really celebrate. She must have something up her sleeve. "So, we shall keep this schedule of a small lecture to then come to train. I trust you shall be able to keep up with the reading, seeing your performance just now. Well, that's that. Dismissed!"
"Salute!"
The Instructor goes her way, Takamura also does, at least to wait nearby until I get changed.
She did offer the girls her help, but it looks like they're going to read up stuff this night. Luckily, they all were more than willing to have her help in the trainings, so that's one concern less.
"So, how were your runs?" Asking the other three, I smile their way as we begin to walk out of the sim room.
"Mine was most challenging. It was truly complex to maintain my speed while not losing balance." Meiya says, again folding her arms as always. "However, your advice was truly helpful, Shirogane. I had not yet noticed my aim was being assisted in any way."
"That's true, however I still can't handle the full speed of the machine." Chizuru sighs, dropping her shoulders. "I cannot understand how you can endure the shaking of a full dash for so long."
"Eh, it's all a matter of practice. I can handle the G-Forces, but even then it's not like I'm going to have it easy either."
"By the way, Special-kun…" Kei had gotten closer, yet was still giving me a side glance. "What were those odd moves you were pulling?"
"…Which of all of them?"
"You know, when you landed with a single feet. What was that?"
"Oh, I was just trying to do a sidestep." Like I saw in that memory of his fight.
"…Huh, and why did you?"
"I thought it was a good idea." But sadly, I can't seem to get the timings right. If I had the XM3 I could do it, but with the stiffer controls… I truly got spoiled by the superior OS. "I mean, at some point the enemies will start attacking us seriously, right? We can't count on them acting so dumb all the time."
"So that's what you were thinking then." Meiya nods, a hand on her chin. "Would you mind sharing the reasoning behind it?"
"I guess? It's more of a gut feeling than anything. I was just trying to have a way to move out from the line of fire without using the boosters."
"Sigh… Shirogane-kun, you may be very talented, but do try to stick to the curriculum. The Instructor will get upset if you keep trying those odd moves."
"I know, I just thought it was worth it. By the by, what did you guys have the most trouble with?" Looking at Chizuru and Kei, one sighs and shrugs, the other gives me another side glance.
"I'm merely getting used to the speed, that's all." Raising both hands in defeat, Chizuru shakes her head.
"What about you, Ayamine?"
"…I'm fine, I'll clear it next time."
"Come on, don't be like that. If you got problems with your shooting, why not rely on your squadmates?"
"I can manage on my own, thanks."
Sigh… You stubborn, hard-headed, bull. I can tell she's in a bad mood for some reason, maybe they had another argument, or maybe she still has something against me. However, I can't just ignore this. I need her to be better. And yet, if I keep pushing she'll get in an even worse mood, she doesn't like me much to begin with. What should I-
"Look Ayamine, this isn't basic anymore." Raising a finger and doing circles, Chizuru gave her a frontal stare. "We are training to become pilots now, all together. If one falls behind, all of us pay for it, right?"
"Yeah, I know. You saying I'll fail the course?"
"No, but if you don't improve, you'll only hamper the rest. Why not just admit what you're having trouble with?" She is trying to be less confrontational, by her standards, but still…
Kei looks away, poker face in place. We keep walking, but no one says anything. Chizuru taps her glasses, sighing a mountain off. Tama and Mikoto keep switching glances between them. Sigh… Guess it's better if I take the fall.
"Hey Ayamine, you really think none of us can lend you a hand?" Giving a look to Chizuru so that she desists, I then look at Kei, whose brows lower a bit.
"No, not saying that. I can handle this by myself."
"I mean, I'm sure you can. But we're comrades, so we should lend a hand if we can. No one can protect its life alone, right?" Chizuru twitched when she heard me, Kei frowned and looked away. "And believe me, I know how frustrating it is to hit your head against a wall you can't overcome. All the tips I'm giving you guys are what my old squadmates told me about when I was down on my luck."
That seems to have taken all of 'em by surprise, eyes as watermelons, brows up above the clouds.
"Really?" Again back to the poker face, she holds my gaze.
"Yeah."
"…For real?" She gets close, eyes narrowed as she scans my face.
"Yes, it's the truth." And it is, I'm just telling you what you guys told me during my first loops when I couldn't get better, when we trained together to become better, when… we were more than squadmates. "So don't close up, you're not worse for relying on others. As part of the military, we have to do all we can for our people, right?"
"Eh?" Eyes wide, she got tilted. Well, I kinda expected that reaction.
"Yeah, we gotta do all we can for the rest, and that includes our comrades, right?"
"…I guess… I guess so." She looks away, pursing her lips a bit.
"All of us are in this together, so don't hesitate to ask." Smiling at her, I then step aside. "Tama and Mikoto can lend you a hand when it comes to sniping. Right, guys?" Looking back at the smaller duo, taken aback a bit, they both nodded.
"Yeah, let's all work together, Ayamine-san." Tama comes closer, smiling her way. Mikoto also nods towards Kei, scratching her head.
"Well… I do need some help with my aim…" I knew having Tama help her would get Kei to agree. Meiya smiles, nodding at the exchange, while Chizuru heaves a sigh.
"Kei-san, maybe you should focus on your sniping for awhile? Your midrange seemed good enough to me on the monitor." Oh right, Kei's sniping sucks. Like, for real. She's as bad at sniping as I am at history.
"Ugh… I'll polish my good traits first."
"That is a fair strategy, indeed." Nodding twice, Meiya played with her fringe. "It wouldn't do any of us good to overcompensate in our less stellar areas."
"You say that because your sniping sucks too, don't you?"
"Wha… T-That is not true!" Pouting much, she folded her arms real tight.
"No, Shirogane-kun is right. Both of you were adept at CQC, so it is understandable that you're facing trouble now that the training is mostly against ranged targets at the beginning." Tapping her glasses, she smiled at Tama. "I believe Tamase could give you two quite some lessons tonight."
"Your sniping also sucks, leader." Kei narrowed her eyes with a smirk, Chizuru, who wasn't expecting the retort, was left with her mouth half open.
"Yes, but I am asking for advice on how to improve. Perhaps you should follow my example?" God, why can't you two have a peaceful conversation for once?!
"Please cease this petty argument, both of you." Meiya shook her head, then giving both of them a hard stare. "Such infighting will give us no boons in our trainings."
"Then Mitsurugi, what is your plan to polish our rough skills?" Chizuru tapped her glasses, arching a brow.
"I do not know."
"Huh? What is that supposed to mean?"
"That a single day of training isn't enough for me to formulate a definitive answer, I've had no time to analyze and ponder on the piloting as it is. If you wish to hear a biased emotional argument I can comply, yet I doubt that would do us much good."
Oh God, not this again. Chizuru is trying harder not to snap, drop the subject, or just use an order to end the argument, she only wants to help all of us improve. Meiya, who is even more dedicated to her training in this world, simply doesn't want to give her opinion when she feels it lacks substance and is upset at how heated this is getting. And Kei simply refuses to back down when she's seeing this as Chizuru's way of forcing us to see things her way.
"Guys, let's just all calm down." They look my way, lips plucked, brows furrowed. "I already gave this squad enough shit to deal with. If you don't chill down, I'm gonna tell the Instructor on you."
Shocked as Sumika was when I gave her my very first well cooked pizza, scared as I was whenever Meiya marched into the kitchen, they looked to the ground. Sigh… NotMarimo-chan to the rescue.
"Um… We can still try harder every day." Tama said, almost stuttering. "So, uh, if anyone wants advice I'm always open." Smiling as sweetly as usual, the air around us was cleared up as those three gave a nod in response. Thanks, Tama.
"Same here. If anyone wants my logs or any advice, just drop it on me and I'll see what I can do." Winking at them with a thumbs up, they all give a nod.
"Exactly, let us all work together from now on." Tapping her glasses, she smiled towards me and Tama. "The simulations have only just begun, and it will take much until we learn to properly pilot."
"That might be true, but it's also really fun to practice!" Mikoto, however, didn't give a shit about the conversation as usual and, smile plastered, began to gush out about her runs.
Hahaha… You're still as deliberately deaf as usual.
"Yoroi-san, don't start again!" Tama tried, in vain, to halt her stride.
"But it's the truth! Yeah, it shakes a lot, but the rush of speed is better than I thought it would be!" Smiling much, she was practically rebounding against herself again.
And they would be better if they had the XM3, though. Sadly, that's locked down for now.
"In any case, even if my sniping isn't as good as Tamase's or Shirogane-kun's, it is better than yours." Meiya and Kei couldn't help but to narrow their brows. "What I have trouble with is with the rush Yoroi just mentioned. So, us three need to polish our weak points. Otherwise, the Instructor will either give us more assignments or make us run more laps before lunch." Then, the other four looked as grim as I did after receiving my math tests back in middle school.
"Huh? Why would she? I mean, if you're still making some progress, that's enough, right?"
"Shirogane, you have already reached Level C." Meiya couldn't hide the embers in her tone. "She will assuredly drive us to match your performance. We have to redouble our efforts, I for one have no intention to remain behind in the trainings." Then, all five of them nodded, fire burning within their eyes.
"Alright, you do you, just don't overload your engine or you'll get busted."
"Huh? Busted?" Here we go again.
"You know, exhausted?"
"…I see." Confused as always, she blinks in quick succession while folding her arms. Mikoto giggles, as does Tama, and Chizuru sighs. "In any case, we need to catch up to you, and quickly. As Sakaki said, I do not wish to bring upon myself further laps at noon."
"Oh, that means we should carefully shift our focus and put some accel in our stride." Mikoto says, chuckling to herself.
"Huh? Yoroi-san, what do you mean?"
"That you five gotta grip onto the training, or you're gonna slide off the course." Nodding at her, we both chuckle. Tama tilts her head, not understanding.
"Shirogane-kun, what are you on about?"
"Chizuru-san, we're merely saying that we need to gain some traction in the trainings."
"Yeah, we gotta be careful to not end up spinning on the road. Right, Mikoto?" She nods, both of us grinning.
"That's right. Otherwise, the Instructor is gonna push us to a wipeout."
"…Sakaki, do you understand what they're saying?" Meiya asks, arms folded and tilting her head.
"No, I've no idea." Tapping her glasses, she gives us a hard stare.
"Seems like the squad leader didn't catch your drift. What a shame." Kei joins in, smirking from ear to ear. Chizuru groans at her, but manages to not retort.
"Huh? Ayamine-san, you know what they're trying to say?" Tama asked, eyes wide.
"Well, kinda. I guess the transmission just failed." You just wanted to keep poking fun at Chizuru, as always.
"Yeah, the message just went under the hood." Mikoto and Kei chuckle, Tama and Meiya raise a brow.
"Stop with the secret code. Shirogane-kun, what are you trying to say?"
"Okay, don't get mad Sakaki. I'll give you a brake, alright?" Mikoto holds her mouth as she laughs, Kei snickers, Chizuru's brows are twitching.
"…I still do not comprehend what is going on here." Meiya shakes her head, oblivious to the joke.
Same day. A few minutes after 7 PM.
(A hallway near the Food Storage.)
Another day of delivering reports, the project seems to be going well. The training also started better than last loop, we managed to stop Kei and Chizuru from fighting again, and the girls agreed to let Takamura help them from time to time.
Having her watching over me hasn't given me much trouble so far, but you never know. Sensei didn't call for me today, I could work to my leisure, no one from the Guard approached me. Everything seems calm.
I again got D rank rations, so I guess Sensei is doing her thing. The attendant is still not even looking my way, but it is what it is. I'm starving, so I better get to Takamura's office quickly. She insists I eat with her, since it seems she has things to ask. Oh well, let's just keep the facade up.
As I was getting closer to her office, I obviously started to run into more and more people in the hallways, and that meant more and more whispers and mean looks. I tend to forget about it when I'm with the girls, since they're kinda chill now, but this world really is much different. I wonder why the hell it turned out this way. Maybe it was always like this but I was never 'on the other side'. Tsukuyomi-san and Meiya… were very rejecting towards me during the coup, to be fair.
I wonder if that's why you grew so hateful, so angry at the Guard. Did people treat you like this at some point? If this is how the UN is treating me, I don't wanna imagine what the Royal Guards would do to someone they deem a traitor. And yet, I don't feel that he completely hated them either, I don't feel the anger of the CCSE towards Takamura for example. Just what the hell happened to-
THUD!
Not paying attention as I walked near the wall, someone bumped their shoulder against me, almost like a tackle, and sent me to the ground.
"Oi, what are you doing? You should be careful we're you're walking, American."
A group of three soldiers, all Japanese, scowled at me. I was walking by the wall and there is plenty of space in the hallway. They did on purpose.
"…Sorry, sir. Won't happen again." Calm down… They want a reaction, and I won't give it to them.
"Tch… Damn scum…"
Narrowing their brows, they kicked my ration's pack towards a wall. Biting my lips, I stood up and picked it up, yet they didn't leave. They still were snickering at me.
"By the way… I thought you were under a punishment, right?" One said, raising a brow and a smirk as he came towards my right..
"Yes, that is correct, sir."
"Then, what the hell are you doing here? You should be going back to the cells." Another said, circling to my left.
"I was called by a superior to their office, so I shall be on my way." Taking a few steps back, I try to leave. But the last one stood in front of me, the one who kicked my rations away.
"Oh, really now? So you tackled a superior despite being called here outside of your orders, huh?"
"…I didn't tackle anyone. We just bumped onto each other."
"Huh? Are you blaming me for that, American? You were the one who wasn't even looking where you were walking, as if you owned the place."
…
God… What is it with this world? What the hell are you trying to accomplish? We're losing a war and this it what our soldiers are doing. It's because of idiots like this that we never made progress. To think they had to die to save the hides of these assholes is making me retch. None of you are worth the sacrifices we had to make.
"And? Come on, say something! Maybe we should report this to your Instructor…" He smirks, they all chuckle.
Sigh… You people… You really are not worth it. But I can't snap, won't let this idiots ruin my efforts to right the leaks. Restoring peace to this land takes priority over my urge to sink your teeth in.
"Feel free to do that if you want. Now, could you kindly move aside?"
"Eh? Wanna say that again, cadet?"
"I asked you to move aside, because someone is waiting for me." His smirk gone, the bastard frowns at me. Well, what did I expect? I am a stranger here.
"Someone doesn't know his place in-"
"What is going here?" A female voice came from behind him. Takamura's voice.
Briskly walking up to us, squinting her eyes, she eyed the three men one at a time.
"Ahem… You see 1st Lt., this American tackled one of us just now. We wanted him to apologize, but he wouldn't-"
"Is that so? Then, why were you surrounding him just now?" Brushing some hair aside, if looks could cut she would have given them a deep one right now.
"Eh? Well, because we can't allow an American to-"
"Would you drop the pretending already? I saw how you surrounded him as he simply tried to leave after apologizing. Furthermore, I doubt Cadet Shirogane would have tackled anyone as you said. He was too exhausted, after all."
I mean, that's why I fell so hard in the first place. Haven't had anything to eat since morning. It's a miracle I'm standing and managed to not lose it just now.
The three of them exchange a gaze, their lips twisting as they did. Barely managing to return the look she was giving them, forced as my manners were their poker faces. She remains composed and cool, yet readiness oozed from her posture.
Is this all an act? Doesn't seem like one, though. Why would she be defending me? To build trust so that I don't doubt her? If not for that… Why would a Royal Guard show me sympathy? What does she gain from that? Makes no sense.
"He still tackled one of us before, that's why we were asking him to apologize properly."
"Oh, truly? Cadet Shirogane, could you show me your rations?"
"Huh? Oh, here."
After passing her the pack, she moves it around a bit. The small rugged part where it was kicked facing up, dust sticked to the package.
"If I'm not mistaken, one of you did this. If he tackled you then, how did this happen to the package?"
"Eh… Uh, you see, it was… He dropped it when he tackled us and-"
"I suggest you to not repeat this foolishness." Narrowing her eyes, taking a step forward, she sent a hand to her hair. "Otherwise, I shall report this misconduct myself to your superiors. Shirogane, whatever does the XO do with those who do not follow her rules?"
"…You don't wanna know." For real.
But, like, damn, I didn't expect Takamura to, well, act like Tsukuyomi-san did. I guess our interactions did make me think she was being too polite… And she was, going by this. So she also has a menacing Royal Guard within herself…
"Uh, we… we were just…" All of them are sweating buckets right now, knees rumbling under the gaze of Takamura.
"We shall be taking our leave. Shirogane, follow me."
"Ah… Yes."
Walking right behind her, the three men seem to stay frozen for a second, then they seem to begin to argue with one another. Looking away from the sad spectacle, can't help but to bite my lips. Because people like that fill our army, because idiots like the gray haired bastard and that red haired bitch get to be in places they don't have the head to be in, things are as they are. Sure, they're just pawns in the end… But overlooking their conduct like this is a mistake. Though, forcing them to change won't help at all… Sigh… Just what the hell is wrong with this world?
"Cadet Shirogane, would you be alright?" Pulling me out from my head, Takamura gave me a worried glance.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just nettled about it all, to be honest."
"I see… It must be infuriating, to be treated in such a way."
"Nah, at this point I'm used to it. That's just how people see me here."
"…Well, but it shouldn't be the norm." The inner side of her brows coming down, her lips a small line, she held my gaze. "You shouldn't normalize such behavior against your person."
"Most people are still talking behind my back, and I can't blame them after what I did. It is what it is."
"…You don't have to endure such treatment. I believe it best for you to speak of this with the XO, since she is your legal tutor."
Already tried that. There's nothing else to do. Haters are gonna hate, no matter what others tell them to do.
"It's alright, really. Thanks for helping me out, though."
"No, it was nothing. I thought you were going to bring up the XO to drive them away, or just walk past them if they grew more aggressive. Surely you weren't planning on letting them hit you?"
"Sigh… What else could I have done? It's cool, really. Thanks for helping out, and sorry for the trouble." Giving her a bow, her gaze drops like a brick on water. What's up with her now? "…Is there something wrong, 1st Lt.?"
"Well…. That it seems you have a very negative image of us, to the point that no words seem to dissuade you." Is she… going to report that to Yuuhi, maybe?
"They have the right reasons to dislike me. Taking it as I push forward is all I can do."
"That might be so, however, their behavior is not justified. We shouldn't… display such hostility towards foreigners after all."
We reach her office, entering it she sits in her chair behind the desk, a cardboard box to her left with her dinner at the ready. Taking out my rations, I sit down in front of her.
"Well, let us eat in peace for now."
"Yeah…"
"…Is there something you would like to talk about?"
"Um… 1st Lieutenant, you seemed really angry about how they were treating me, especially about how I had a bad image of you guys in general. Is there a reason why?"
Her words don't seem like a trap, for now. And seeing how she reacted then and how she's being now, I wonder what could make a Royal Guard, and someone like her, sympathize with me after what I did.
She looks at me, then at her plate. Grabbing a strand of hair, bringing some food to her mouth and munching it real slow, she then sighs.
"Because I used to be the same as them, so I can understand why you would begin to hoist animosity towards the Japanese within you."
"You mean… you used to be that harsh towards foreigners?" Grabbing a piece of dough fused together with peanut butter, I eye her as she eats, waiting for her to continue.
"Indeed. I was most abrasive whenever I had to interact with anyone that wasn't a fellow. In all honesty, when the railgun was first proposed to be a joint project with America, I vehemently refused it." She chuckles, ruffling her hair backwards. "During my stay at Yukon I learned… how foolish I was being. Therefore, I would like to show the rest what I learned, and is why I won't allow such hostilities to brew in my presence." Looking my way, she again gave me a serious gaze. "Please do not normalize this treatment, don't assume everyone here will be hostile to you. You have lived abroad, so you can show many the boons of cooperation with the world. Which is why accepting this treatment won't do you any favors."
"…I know. It's just… hard to deal with, to be honest."
"I can understand, I was…" Hanging her head, she sighs. "…undeservedly harsh to many when I first arrived at Yukon. In any case, you should not tolerate such obvious abuse from anyone."
"…I guess you're right. Thanks, 1st Lieutenant."
"No, as I said, it is nothing. I know it might be hard, to live under such harsh gazes, but while I do praise your composure, do remember you do not deserve further punishments." I nod, she then smiles. "Also, may I… ask you a personal question?"
"Sure, go ahead." Too hungry to scan her face and tone. She sounds honest, so no need to refuse.
"Why do you not retort when they called you an American?"
"Well, it would only have served to anger them more. No point in screaming into the void."
"Huh… I suppose. However, well, I still do not fully agree."
"May I ask why?"
"Well… There was someone like you in my past squad."
"How do you mean?"
"Someone who was shunned due to being an outsider." Her hands stopping, eyes almost closing, it sounds as if her mood fell down from a hive's monument. "You see, you reminded me of him when you spoke with such doubt towards how those men saw you. I do not wish you to fall to the same sinkhole he was in. After all… You are Japanese as well, there is no reason for you to be treated as an outsider here."
Looking straight at me, no delay in her last words, she wasn't lying or anything.
"Thanks, for real."
"There is no need. After all, you chose to come here alone instead of staying in Alaska. Surely your family must be worried about you back in the US, if they heard of your hardships here."
…
"…Family, huh."
"…Um, would it be troublesome matter for you?"
"No, it's just… Well, I don't know where my family is."
"Have you… lost contact with them?"
"No, I… don't even know if they're alive." Her widening eyes, the hesitation in her tone told me she wasn't hiding anything. So I sighed, munching my dinner for a while as I thought over what to tell her.
"Oh, were they in Alaska, then?" Grimacing a bit, dropping her gaze, a falling leaf would make enough noise on the ground to drown out her voice.
"No, it's not that either. I don't… I don't remember if they're still alive."
"H-Huh?! Do… Do you suffer from amnesia?"
"…Yes. I don't remember much from my past. I woke up on Alaska by myself, and no one could find anyone related to me so I've no idea if my parents are alive or not."
…
Thinking about it… I wonder what kind of people my parents are in this world. Why was Maya-san looking after little me, anyways? Where are they now?
"M-My apologies, I didn't mean to… Well…"
"It's fine. So, since I've no one to call family here, I won't bother telling people otherwise if they call me an American." And my Japan is so different to this one I might look like one to people here, just like how Tsukuyomi-san saw me during the coup. "Still, I'm here to help and it's why I won't react. That's all."
"Is that so? Well… That is the right thing to do, however, don't simply surrender yourself to be the recipient of needless violence if another situation like that one were to happen."
"Yes, Ma'am. I'll just drop Sensei's name and that should be enough."
"…Sensei?" Oh, here we go again.
The remainder of dinner was rather peaceful, me telling Takamura of how to navigate the floor, where certain rooms were, and recommending her to order her food from Kyozuka-san's PX, as well as her best dishes.
Luckily for me, it seems she doesn't have any ill intentions towards me for now. So long as the General doesn't talk with her, I think Takamura won't act against me. Though, seeing how she was before, if she ever comes at me I'm going to be in trouble.
Same Day. Near 9 PM.
(B5F, near the Detention Barracks.)
Going back to the detention barracks, the new guard salutes me, giving me a small smile, unlike the other one who didn't even look my way.
No whispers, no mean looks, no nothing. The man unlocks my cell and opens the door for me, saluting me again once he had to close it. Returning the gesture, he then nods and takes his leave.
Stretching my hands up, moving sideways and hearing my knees and shoulders crack, I then tense up my back, shaking the stiffness I had on me. Sitting down on the bed, I take off my boots and massage my feet again. Throwing myself back, I look at the ceiling as I yawn.
Family, huh. Whatever the hell happened to my parents in this world? I wonder if my own parents are alright over there…
But, thinking it through, this world's me wasn't in good terms with the Pickles, but when I saw them yesterday I didn't feel anything bad towards them. His squad was supposed to stay away from as many eyes as possible, I don't know any of his squadmates, and I still can't remember who Amanohara was.
If he was a Royal Guard, was our family different? How did Maya-san end up taking care of little me? If there were no records left… then, does Sensei know and she didn't tell me? Or, did she just forgot to ask me about them for some reason?
At least I got some diagrams done today about the weapons I wanted to make. Now, all I can hope is that I can get some good sleep. Ever since I came back from the island I can't seem to be able to rest well. This heavy feeling lingers around me whenever I sleep, even now I can feel it on the lower part of my back.
Well… Nothing much I can do about it. I'll just ask her tomorrow. Maybe the pillow will help me clear my head a bit.
"Yawn… I'll ask Kasumi… to see if she can draw out any memories about them. But for now… Yaaawn… I'll call it quits for today."