Muv-Luv Reversal

by Zuoriel

Takeru has been leading a normal life until now. During the summer vacation of his second year in college he's invited by his high school friends to meet up again, to which he agrees. Shirogane doesn't know that this decision would release the nightmares that have been haunting him for some time, nightmares that would be better left forgotten.

34. Their Sacrifice

Chapter 34: Their Sacrifice

---

July 25th, 1968.
(Saionji Main House. Hiroshima.)
[Hidekatsu]

---

Neither of us said a word, silence filled the air of the room. The tea has run cold an eternity ago, the manju remained untouched atop the table.

Father has died, and without writing his will. This means we now have to decide who will become the next head of the Saionji family. Me or Tsunemori.

"I believe we must move forward to a world of unity. Considering the threat of these things known as the BETA, and the benefits the Empire could reap from this war if we manage to acquire part of their technology, I believe we should strengthen our relations with both the UN and the US. Brother, my connections will give our family the greatest benefit in our trade and production efforts." Tsunemori said, with his usual confidence.

"And yet, that would mean to surrender even more of our soul to the foreign powers. The Empire needs no further aid from the US, we should try to encourage our own industry to grow, to increase our exports and means of self-sufficient production. We have many a great number of small factories that create pieces and machines that are needed on many R&D departments all over the world. Me and my fellows will give the Empire its own industrial might, and we will sever the umbilical cord the US has encrusted into our economy, so that we never have to depend on any other nation for our economic stability." I return the glare, I will not flinch or back down.

To accept Tsunemori as the next head is to bow down to the Americans. Yes, we can make a great profit from opening our imports to American products and licensing their production, but in the long run that will make us even more dependent on them. We need to have at least one strong industry of our own. Yes, we cannot survive alone in these times, especially if the BETA are as fearsome as that report the UN sent us made them out to be. But we must not simply bow and obey, the Empire needs to rise once more.

"Hidekatsu, the Americans are the greatest power in the entire world. Only a fool wouldn't want to do business with them."

"As far as I know, kneeling down and giving head is not considered 'business' anywhere on the globe. I do not think that making us more dependent on them is what this nation needs."

"And trying to make a castle on the clouds is not what I'd call a solid plan. I believe we would reap bigger benefits licensing the Americans products and being the main distributors on the Far East, while also gaining more power within thanks to our relations with them." Your attitude disgusts me. What little love for our nation you have, choosing to see what is convenient to you.

"Brother, do you truly think the Americans see us as their allies? Look at how the Shogun is treated, it's nothing more than a figurehead these days. We're their pawns, puppets that move according to their whims. To give them even more power is to surrender ourselves completely to them!" I slam my hand on the table. Tsunemori narrows his eyes at me in clear disapproval.

"Hidekatsu, improving our relations with them does not equal a total surrender. We need them to finish the reconstruction of our nation, and we still don't know enough of these beings that were found on the moon. To bite the helping hand of the Americans might end up being our demise. We cannot decide our moves basing ourselves on emotional arguments. I also wish for the Empire to be free from foreign influence, but we must first grow strong again, find our place on the global economy."

"Tsunemori, we have been forced into servitude. They have completely changed the way we live and are constantly pushing us further and further away from what we truly are. Is this how you wish the Empire to continue? As slaves of the Americans? I refuse to accept this dichotomy of remaining as their servants or march to a certain demise. There must be a way for us to turn the Empire into a global power while slowly, but assuredly, cleaning the influence the Americans have imprinted into our culture since the end of the war. We cannot lose their aid, but we must not bow to their every demand. And for that someday to be a reality, we have to start working for it now!"

"I believe so too, but we also must make ourselves indispensable to the world, and improving our relations with the US is the better and fastest way to do so in my eyes. Without their aid, our industry would get stuck, and trying to compete with them would put us in a very dangerous position. First we should accept our weakness, and once we have done our own R&D on their products, we can start to develop our own brand, with higher quality or better pricing to sway the market to us. Lasting changes don't happen overnight, Hidekatsu. Your vision would send us into ruin, and would make all the sacrifices, all the concessions, all the shame we had to endure until now go to waste. That is why I should be the next head."

Again silence fills the air. We will never reach a truce. He wants to continue to bow down to the foreigners, with the hope that the Empire might one day stand up again. I want to make it stand up yesterday, severing this bind that has been placed on us. I expected more of you Brother. All of my life, I have admired you. You always seemed to be unfazed by all the problems we had to face, and always managed to come up with a clever solution to aid Father and His Highness. Yet, even if you are my older brother, if you wish to keep us in servitude…

"I think we won't reach an agreement, Hidekatsu."

"So it seems, Brother."

"Then, I suppose we should settle this with a duel, as much as it pains me to do so. One of us will live and become the next head, the other will have to join Father and Mother."

"I expected nothing less. However, you seem to have made a mistake Tsunemori." I say as I relax onto the tatami, covering how my right hand reaches for the inside of my sleeve.

"A mistake?"

"Indeed. The duel has already started." Without a single vestige of hesitation, I throw two shuriken at Tsunemori's throat. In a flash, he drops to a side, holding his neck in pain. Crimsoness dirties the tatami as he wails pointlessly. "It pains me so much, yet I cannot allow you to live any longer. You have committed treason against our Empire, you deserve no honor but I shall give you mercy." I draw my blade and quickly end my older brother's life, to spare him from further suffering.

…You had good intentions, but you've forgotten that they're not as honorable as we are. Even if we are to remain loyal, in a gesture of goodwill to improve our relations with them, as soon as they see a better economical partner, they'll discard us away without hesitation. Who would trust in someone like that? If we can't even expect them to come pay their respects one a year, how could you wish to keep depending on them? Tis truly a shame, for you to have chosen their side.

I whistle three times in an odd rhythm, sending the signal to my men. Soon after that, the sound of the battle reaches my ears. If you're going to do something, you have to follow through without hesitation. Even if it means spilling the blood of some of my fellows and retainers.

The screams eventually die down. A knock is heard on the outside. I get out of the room and see my shinobi awaiting for me.

"How has the mission go?" She bows down, I see she has some deep gashes on her back and left hand. Your loyalty won't be forgotten, my fellow.

"All opposition has been cleared, Hidekatsu-sama. All those who were loyal to Tsunemori-sama have been silenced."

"Good. Let us give them a proper burial then, in one last show of respect. Tomorrow morning we shall notify the Emperor of the result of our… duel, and I'll be officially recognized as the head of the Saionji House at long last."

I leave the place, heading to the main bedroom and office of the house. The place that now belongs to me. I will not fail, I shall make the Empire into a global power. I won't let all the blood I've spilled today to go to waste, for I am honor bound to triumph in my ambitions for their sake as well. Tsunemori, you can rest in true peace. For I shall work for the both of us and bring about that future we both wished for, even if the Americans corrupted your judgment into a vassal-like mentality.

---

March 18th, 1978.
(Imperial Palace. Kyoto.)

---

"Raise, Hidekatsu. We have much to talk about."

"Yes, Your Majesty."

I have been called personally by His Majesty the Heavenly Emperor to his private chamber. With the passing of Kujo-sama last week, it may mean he has selected me as the next Shogun. However, I should not get ahead of myself.

The room is decorated with many delectable paintings of our own roots, the walls painted in a dark shade of deep purple, and filled with many fittingly beautiful golden decorations of Japanese origin. Behind a veil lies His Majesty, as I kneel on lower ground. There's also the special guardians of the Emperor, the Royal Guards that are dressed in pale red-violet uniforms, standing by His side.

"Hidekatsu, you've done many efforts to revitalize our industry. You've given priority to the needs of the Japanese, and despite all the setbacks that it has brought you, you have not faltered in your anti-American stance. You have my most sincerest respect for your dedication to our nation."

"Your words are is more than what I deserve, Your Majesty."

"Nonsense. Regardless, I am growing old. While I have been forced to endure many hardships for the well-being of my people, I would like to leave knowing that there's someone who can aid my son in bringing our nation back on its feet. Hidekatsu, if you were to become the Shogun, what would you do to make your ambitions a reality?"

I lift my face and look in the direction of his voice. I take a deep breath, and speak up slowly but firmly.

"I would first revise the Fundamental Law of Education, to shift the focus of our schools and systems to cultivate more surface pilots, engineers and mechanics. I believe the Akebono Program launched by Kujo-sama will become the root of our revival. With our own militar force rejuvenated, with an elite army ready to take on the BETA at the frontlines whenever we are called to aid the UN or when the threat reaches our shores, our nation will gain a strong foothold in the entire world as elite soldiers. This is the perfect moment to break free of the American's shackles, since no one could object to us reinforcing our military now. And once the UN becomes aware of our worth, we will gain a crucial ally in our negotiations with the US. If we make ourselves into the vanguard of the world even Europe might take our side in exchange for our efforts in the war."

I truly believe this is a once in a lifetime chance. We must become one of the world's strongest armies, and for that we need an elite, loyal force that's ready to halt the BETA advance when they're called to duty. The foreigners have chained us to their whims, but now we shall chain them to us, they won't be able to refuse our terms after we save their hides from these monsters.

"And pray tell, how would you reform our systems? Would you search for the gifted among us? Perhaps a focus on aptitudes, rewarding the citizens that willingly choose to serve?"

"No, Your Majesty. While I do wish to cultivate the innate talent of our people, I believe loyalty to be much more important in an army. Give me a box full of sledgehammers, and I'll do all I can to turn them into the finest blades you've ever seen. Give me someone who fails, someone who struggles and desires to be better sincerely, and I'll do all I can to make them reach their full potential. I'll move Mt. Fuji with my bare hands to aid my fellows in their struggles, stand along them under the wildest rain, and hone myself to be the best commander they could have. For I know they won't back-stab me, I can count on them not leaving my side when the need calls."

I take a small breath and continue.

"However, if you give me someone, no matter how skilled he is, that I cannot count on, everything falls apart. Someone who I can't even expect to arrive in time to a meeting, someone who no matter what I do for him, would always either turn his back to me or show ungratefulness towards all of my efforts towards him, does not have a place by my side. I know I might be sounding very prejudicial now to you, however I have been burned by the fire of betrayal and disappointment far too many times since I became the head of the Saionji family. I believe order and trust are the most important things in the army, and the latter in any relationship. Which is why I believe that those who are worth my trust, regardless of their origins, should be given priority on our training system. I would reform our systems to give them the chance they deserve, for I rather spend double the time on someone that struggles to hone himself but that values all I do for him instead of someone whose loyalty lies somewhere else and that I can't count on when I truly need his aid."

I finish and lower my head once more. After a brief moment, His Majesty speaks to me again.

"And how would you shape this army of yours? If all the ones that join the armed forces cannot be trusted, what would you do? If you had no choice but to cooperate with these untrustworthy people, which path would you choose?" He said, speaking as calmly as before.

The same dichotomy that Tsunemori once spoke about. That is a lie, the world isn't painted in black and white. There is always another road, even if it's darker and more dangerous than the obvious safe path that's laid out in front of you. And for the blood I've spilled I am obliged to triumph. Fear has no place in my heart, for I shall take this fierce, perilous road unwavering.

"I would look for those I can truly call my fellows. If I were to become the Shogun, I would reintroduce the Military Service Law, and send my most trusted men to scout and search for those who share my views, for the young ones whose hearts are looking for a new future, and I'll give them the best training this nation can produce. While I will have to coexist with those I cannot trust, I will not exclude them but I won't give them positions of power. I am sure you're aware of the many detractors that have resigned their title of nobility because they felt 'insulted' after we gave the just reward to some civilian families that had served us well, granting them the lowest title of nobility of our system."

Remembering all the talks I've had these last few months brings a bitter smile to my face.

"And it is most hilarious, how they spoke of our traditions and upholding the rightful honor, but then chose to do business with the Americans, selling their honor for some coin, becoming nothing more than dogs. It's that kind of people which I wish to expel from our higher echelons. After all, the civilians they so much despised turned out to be more loyal to you than they ever were. Of course, I do not wish to instigate a persecution, but I believe that we should give an incentive to many small enterprises owned by civilians so that they can compete and eventually triumph over these sellswords' businesses."

It is a truly sad state of affairs, how easily money corrupted our fellows. Many people who I called friends turned upside down the second the Americans dropped bags full of that dirty green poison known as dollars in front of them. Much like Tsunemori wanted to, they wasted no time in kneeling before their new masters. It's people like them that I wish to purge from this nation. How could we ever become a stable, independent nation with traitors who are constantly doing the foreigners' work in all areas of our economy and education?

"I see. You raise many good points, Hidekatsu. But let me ask you a crucial matter. How will you finance your nation? If you refuse the aid of America, how will you maintain the current order that our nation enjoys today?"

"Simple, Your Majesty. I believe the UN to be different than the Americans. With their support we will show the international community all of our skills. Once the world can see us for what we truly are, the US won't be the only one looking to do business with us. And even then we still are the only ones who might be willing to do business with the US, they won't have it easy to oppose us. Allow me to say this, I wish for us to someday be able to stand side by side with US instead of our current position as their vassals. So long as they do not try to intrude on our sovereignty, I will not show hostility to them."

"And what will you do if the UN is indeed like the Americans that have brought us to our knees?"

"That cannot be. It must answer to the international community and the well-being of mankind as a whole. If they are so frail that the corrupt faction within the US has a grip on their decisions, then mankind might as well be doomed to become the US's slaves. At which point their intentions of enlarging their influence over the globe would become apparent, and we would be foolish to simply ignore such a threat to our sovereignty. If such a case were to happen, I would first empower the military to be able to strike back at the slavers and drive them off our soil. I'm sure that the rest of the Eastern Nations would do the same, and I do not think Europe would simply allow the US to do as they please with their lands and people."

"Hmm… Becoming the first rebels against the tyrannical Americans? At that point, we would be left with very little choice indeed. Then, allow me to ask you my final question. You surely have noticed the increased hostility of the media towards the Royal Guard as of late. I am sure you agree it is due to the Americans' influence, trying to create a schism in our hearts. How would you counter this?"

"Tis a simple matter. While we most not reply to the provocations, we must take action to show the people we are worth their trust. With all due respect sir, I believe it to be imperative to allow commoners into the Royal Guard as well."

"Commoners? Hidekatsu, are you being serious?" His shock is apparent, but I must not falter.

"Yes, Your Majesty. Since we are on your private chambers, allow me to be honest with you. The shinobi that was assigned to me by my late Father was never one from a warrior clan. I believe all of our fellows deserve the same respect. It is not only a way to truly reward them equally. I believe that would greatly boost our sense of unity and appease part of the critics we always receive."

I take a short pause, clear my throat and continue.

"In the past, granting civilian families a title of nobility caused us much problems, but if instead of that they could earn it after many generations of servitude in both the Royal Guard and in a key part of our economy or industry, I firmly think it would greatly improve the sentiment that the people have towards us, and it would allow for those with a desire to serve to come to us, instead of us having to look for them. In these times, what we need the most is to strengthen our bonds with the people, to once again have a common goal regardless of our differences. And I am willing to do everything in my power to make this future a reality, no matter what the Americans do to hinder my ambitions. I will dedicate every drop of blood in me to this cause, whether you choose me as the next Shogun or not. My life shall be dedicated to this land until my very last breath, I assure you of that Your Majesty."

I take one deep breath and exhale slowly. I spoke with honesty, regardless of the consequences. I have no regrets, for I will continue towards my goals even if I am not the next Shogun.

"Hidekatsu Saionji."

"Yes, Your Majesty?" I look up in attention. For Him to have used my full name… What will it be?

"…I hereby appoint you as the next Shogun of the Empire of Japan."

---

May 2nd, 1986. Around 6 PM.
(Training Grounds. Nanao Base.)
[Kageyuki]

---

"And to no one's surprise, Tiger Squadron wins today." The operators laughed in my view as the last enemy was shot down.

"Well, that will be all for today. Return to the hangar." The Major said as he gave us a nod, his usual stern expression remaining unfazed at our results.

"Roger!" All of us reply and their faces disappear from my sight, and after a brief pause we take off towards the base.

"But damn it, Shirogane. You stole the show again. Leave something for us too, you bastard!" The Captain said with a grin on his face.

"Yeah man, it's always the same with you. How many did he beat today? Four?"

"Five, actually. I stole one of the Captain's kills when he ran out of ammo." I say jokingly to them.

"You dastard, next time it won't go like this!" The Captain says continuing the joke.

All twelve of us keep joking around until we reach the hangar. I gotta say, I'm getting better than I thought I would ever be. Honestly it's all thanks to the Captain's support, otherwise a simple guy like me wouldn't have gotten past basic.

We're briefed on the results and our numbers once all of us got together. After the necessary decorum is said we're free to go changed and hit the PX at last.

"But really, who would have said you would turn out to be such a trooper. Remember when he couldn't even finish running on our first days during training?" The Cpt. just can't contain himself, can he?

"I really thought about dropping from the Surface Pilot Training Program back then, if not for your help I would have abandoned it to be an MP to be honest."

"Heh, as if I'd let such a hardworking bastard be demoted like that. Isn't it like Saionji-sama always says? We gotta stick together, folk like us. It's rare to find a group of honest, hardworking guys like you all. Even if we're at the backrow, we gotta do our part to be up to par with what's expected of us."

All of us give a nod right before we enter the PX. While I don't disagree with what the Captain said, I do find myself wavering from time to time. Thanks to Saionji-sama's clear anti-American stance many things have changed in these last years. The price of imported goods is skyrocketing, the price of home appliances is also rising quite a lot, and not to mention the costs of good medical care or housing. I already had a house on my sight, in Yokohama. I had almost enough saved to take a credit to buy it, but then the American real state agencies decided to raise their prices, saying they were too good for the Japanese standard, in a mockery to Saionji-sama's decision to give aid to the national real state sector, aiming to have more houses built with our traditional design instead of the American's.

I really wanted to drop out of the Training Program. I would rather be home with Miho and Takeru, if I were an MP I could get more off days, but being a pilot only leaves me with the weekend off every two weeks. But I need the money, Miho is sick and I can't force her to work when she has to take care of Takeru too. Considering I've heard that even the IJA is thinking of conscripting women I cannot leave the army, or Miho will be the one getting dragged into this shithole. And if I don't start making more money, we will have to keep living in the slums, and her health may take a turn for the worse. If only I could take her to a decent hospital regularly…

If I could at least get us an apartment in a nice part of the city here to move from Nakanoto… But I'm barely a 2nd Lt. for now, and even with my best efforts I do not see a promotion in the horizon. Really, how much of a dick can these guys be? I've been breaking their expectations time and again, and all I get is a pat on the back. Sons of a bitch… I would have dropped out now that I finished my obligatory service years, but no work could match this pay. Between Miho's treatment and our savings to be able to someday move out, adding taking proper care of Takeru…

It doesn't help that we're in the middle of a restructuring. Now that the creation of the MDF was announced, we still don't know under whose wing we'll fall, and the worst of them is that I may end up getting sent to another base. And from what I've heard on the news, there's some tension brewing with the UN as of late for some reason. Something about them requesting to have a base under their command, and Saionji-sama refusing to do so for some weird reason. It was all over the news on the UN's channel, how distrustful the Empire had become as of late for some reason.

After finishing dinner and chatting with the guys for awhile, I go to sleep early. Waking up just a bit before five, I get in my fatigues and go report my leave. After getting the OK from the office, I leave the base and go towards the train station, and take a ride back home.

The town is still as it always was, desolated and run down. With how much the prices have been going up, I can't even rent an apartment in Nanao. Sigh…

Well, no getting depressed! Miho doesn't deserve to see me all gloomy. I reach our house and enter. It's early morning and I could hear someone on the kitchen.

"Miho? Are you there?" I see her slender figure preparing breakfast dressed in an olive green dress with her chestnut hair tied up in a hairbun once I go near the kitchen.

"Oh, Kage! Welcome home!" I approach her and plant a kiss on her forehead. Despite her wide smile, she does sound a bit weaker than last time.

"How are you feeling? Did the medicine make you feel better?"

"Y-Yes, I'm alright. So, how is everything on the base?" She smiles wryly at me, scratching the back of her head.

"Oh, you just won't believe it. Major General Ayamine ordered all the squads to do two runs every day and me and the boys have been dominating the mock battles since the start of the new regime, but we haven't got a single raise or promotion yet." I wrap my hands around her, resting my chin on her shoulder.

"That sounds rough. Are you eating well? You're not getting hurt, right?" I'm the one who should be worried here, with how worn down you look.

"I'm fine, don't worry. So, how's Takeru being doing?"

"As usual, he's full of energy. He reminds me of a certain someone when he doesn't want to practice his writing." She smirks at me playfully.

"It's not my fault he took after you in that regard."

"Oho? What do we mean by that?" She quickly moves one hand to my butt and gives me hard pinch.

"Ouch! Sorry, I was just kidding!"

"Fuhuhu, I know you were, silly." She grasp my chin with her hand and we share a kiss, sucking on each other's tongue.

"…Dad?" Always happens… The little shape of my son, wearing a white shirt and blue shorts, sleepily made his way to us. His hair that reached to his shoulders is made a mess, he should get it cut soon.

"How have you been doing, Takeru? Come here, give Dad a hug!" I lift him from the ground, giving him a tight hug. "So, how have you been?"

"Good, Mom brought me some new books to read me." He says with his usual smile.

"That's nice, and have you been practicing your writing? How many hiraganas can you write?"

"…Not many." He pouts and looks away. I was the same when I was little according to my Dad, it's so funny to see him trying to hide it.

"Come on, you two. The food's ready."

We enjoy a breakfast in family, and after changing into my casual clothes I read one of the new books to Takeru. After he goes to watch some show on the small TV, I start helping Miho with some of the daily chores. The house isn't so big, considering the taxes aren't so high in this area it might not have been a bad idea to remain here but…

"Miho, are you sure you don't prefer to go live at Nanao?"

"Kage, I can't leave Mom alone. Even if she's being stubborn in not wanting to come to live with us, I can't just go somewhere else and leave her all alone here." Miho returns another annoyed glare at me.

"Look, I'm just worried about you. We could give you better treatment if you could go every week at one of the hospitals in Nanao. Since I would be closer during my off days, I could stay taking care of Takeru, or I could go with you if we can find someone to look after him for a little while."

"I know that, really. But…" Her voice trails off, her gaze digs itself into the ground.

We continue talking, as I tell her of what I can of my daily life on the base and she tells me of how she and Takeru have been doing these weeks. The little one seems to be full of energy thankfully. But as we finished and went with Takeru to just lay together relaxing, I couldn't help to let my mind wander to the worries that plague my heart.

My parents didn't approve of our marriage and disowned me for it, they couldn't stand me marrying someone 'poorer' than me. I decided to live with her here, but literally two months after that the laws got changed and I got conscripted into the IJA. Considering I'm making more money now I don't see it as something bad, but Miho needs me here. But if we don't move to somewhere else… If only I hadn't doubted, I would have bought that house in Hiiragi. Now with all the inflated prices I can't get us a decent house.

We are lucky the Shogun is looking out for us commoners, trying to make housing conditions better with all of these new incentives. I honestly can't understand how people don't get it. Saionji-sama is doing his best to fix this hell of a mess the Americans are doing and everybody is shitting on him and the Regent Houses. The leaders are all presenting a lot of projects from what I've heard on the news, and everyone is repeating the same speech of the media. I mean, I know we have to cooperate with them and all, but the Americans really piss me off. The few I've met during some mock battles are the biggest jerks I've ever met.

Sigh… I know we shouldn't spend our savings, but at this rate…

We spent the day simply resting, reading books and playing with Takeru. When was it that he stopped talking silly? When was it that he got so big? What wouldn't I give to be able to see him grow by his side. I really don't see us getting a raise on the IJA or the MDF or however we're called now. If only I was better at something…

Ding!

"Oh, who could it be? Kage, I'm preparing dinner, could you answer the door?"

"Sure. Takeru, you wait here." He tugs at me when I leave him on the chair.

"You're leaving?" Don't look at me with those eyes, it's cheating.

"No, of course not. I'm just going to see who's visiting." He slowly lets go, and as I go to the door he follows behind me.

Ding!

Oh, for fucks sake! It hasn't been that long to ring a second time! It better not be the Captain again because I'm gonna…

"Hello? Who is it?" Opening the door, a familiar face greets me with a smile. Dressed in a pale gray dress of the Royal Guard, with his orange hair combed backwards, my old friend waved at me.

"Hey, Kageyuki! Long time no see. Hopefully I came at a good time?" Giving me a small bow, Koetsu Kurosawa greeted me.

"Koetsu, the hell are you doing here in your Guard uniform?!"

"Hey, that's the first thing you say?"

"Look, you can't just come visit in… You even brought your limo?!" The driver gave me a nod as our gazes met. Sigh… Koetsu, what the hell are you thinking? Poor Kobayashi-san, having to drive you here.

"Hahaha, what were you expecting? I can't just take a train now, can I? I was relieved of my duties for the day and I decided to pay you a visit, since I remembered you told me you would be free today. Can I come in?" He shows me a box by his side and a suitcase. What did he bring now? Always marching to your own drum.

"Of course, we don't really have much to offer though." I scratch my head, dropping my gaze to the ground.

"Hey, don't be so down. I did brought some souvenirs for you all. Hmm? Oh, is that Takeru?" Takeru was peeking from behind me, looking at him curiously.

"Takeru, why don't you introduce yourself?" I pet his head slowly, moving him from behind me. He looks at Koetsu and gives him a small nod.

"I'm Takeru. Who are you?"

"Pfft! Hahaha, he really is your son." Sigh… Much to Miho's disappointment he also took after me in how he speaks. "I'm Koetsu, an old friend of your Dad. Nice to meet you, Takeru." He grabs his tiny hand and shakes it slowly.

"Well, come in. Not everybody likes the Royal Guard here." His gaze turns serious as he looks around, and we spot a few onlookers who scatter as they realized we noticed their presence.

"Yes, let's go inside. Kobayashi, I'll call you when I'm ready to depart. You may leave." Kobayashi-san gives a nod, I smile and wave at him. And with a smile he speeds away.

We enter the house, with Takeru asking Koetsu many questions about who he was. But seriously, why did he have to come in his dress? Maybe he isn't used to be near people that are hostile to the Guard but he should be aware of the current situation.

"Miho, we have a visit."

"Visit? Who is… Oh, Kurosawa-san! Good evening."

"Good evening, Miho-san. Please, I think I told you to just use my name. So, here. I brought us some nice food to enjoy today." He brings one of the boxes he was carrying, showing us a nice assortment of sushi.

"Koetsu, you really didn't have to…"

"Come on, don't look like that. It's been ages since we got together, why can't we enjoy something nice every once in a while? And don't worry about how much it cost, it's on me." Sigh…

"If you say so, I'll take you up on the offer."

It's been so long since we could talk with each other. Ever since the new military law was passed, we have had less and less time to meet. With me on the IJA and he on the Royal Guard our schedules have not matched up for a long time.

We enjoy a calm evening, sharing stories and just laughing as we ate. Strangely, Takeru ate all the natto rolls. When Miho tried to find one, he was already eating the last one. I should remember to never underestimate Takeru's appetite, the boy is a true omnivorous.

"Takeru, when did you ate all the natto ones?" Miho looked at him worriedly.

"But they were tasty." My hearts melts as he looks at us with an apologetic expression. Just look at those tiny, shiny eyes of his, how could anyone get angry at him?

"Don't worry, Takeru. It's good to eat what you like, but you should eat something different from time to time." I stroke his hair and he giggles a bit.

"Hahaha, the little one seems to be healthy thankfully." Koetsu looked at Takeru as he grabbed yet another roll of sushi and kept eating.

Thank the Holy Emperor that he's so simple in that regard. No matter what Miho cooks, he always eats everything according to her. And anyways, her cooking is awesome so it's totally understandable. No one could refuse this homemade heaven.

"He never complains about food, but I can't believe he ate all the natto rolls by himself." Miho sighs as Takeru looks at her, munching sushi.

We watched some of the kids shows as we finished eating, and then Miho took Takeru to his room giving us a wink. Thanks for being always so considerate, dear.

"You could have called to tell me you were coming, you know?" Koetsu laughs as he opens a bottle of sake.

"Well, I wanted to surprise you. And there is another reason for that, actually." He got serious now, I wonder what he meant.

"Do the Guard not allow you to meet with members of the IJA?"

"Oh no, not that. It's a more… delicate matter. Say Kageyuki, you're not happy with your current position, right?" He looks at me in the eye as he pours each of us a drink.

"Of course not. With how much everything is rising in price, I can't find a decent house for us, and when I do the owner starts to put logs in the way, and suddenly they say the price might change due to 'market values' flowing up recently. It's the same in all areas of Nanao. Those damn American agencies that bought most of the land lots are abusing the loopholes in the law again."

"I thought that was the case. And how's Miho-san's health?"

"Just as it looks like. We can't take her to the hospitals in Nanao as often as I'd like, so she's receiving treatment in the local one. But well, you know how it is with the priorities in the chain of supplies." He nods as he sighs, and then drinks a bit.

"So everything's still the same. So, about why I came here without calling you." He straightens his posture, looking at me square in the eye again. "Kageyuki, would you like to join the Royal Guard?"

…

Wait, what did I just hear?

"Koetsu, did I heard that right?" He nods.

"Yes, I'm offering you an induction into the Royal Guard to my squadron." He takes out some papers from the small suitcase he brought with him. "You see, the people I work for in Osaka are in need of some more talented surface pilots for their test squads. Since we're in need of trustworthy people that are also skilled we have been searching to fill the spots, but of course it isn't an easy task. Inducting a civilian isn't out of the question but it's also not something that happens often. You, however, are a very capable pilot from the reports I've read, I asked your base's CO and he complimented you a lot. I believe I could manage to convince my superior to get your approval. I know this isn't something that you can answer easily, but I'd like you to think about it."

"…You do know that would mean being away from my family for a very long time, right? Royal Guards only get a break once every two months, and I would have to go with you to Osaka, right? I don't… I don't know if I could leave Miho alone like this." I drink from my small cup. This is a nice offer, and I know how much is at risk here. Koetsu is putting his honor and reputation on the line for me, and I have no words to thank him for this gesture. But…

"I know that. But you must know that our pay is much more better than what you're receiving on the IJA right now. And while you won't get promoted so easily, I assure you your skills won't go unrewarded. The Royal Guard values loyal people like you, I know you won't disappoint. Actually, I honestly believe you're already better than some of my squad's men, and that's with a base Gekishin."

"Don't think that I'm not thankful, Koetsu. It's just… I have barely been able to see Takeru grow, Miho needs me close to her. If I can only see her once every two months…"

"It's your choice. I owe you much for helping me when we were in school and everybody got against me for being a noble, I know you're someone I can trust. You haven't changed despite all that's happened to you, and I really respect your stance with your parents and your struggle to take proper care of your loved ones. I believe you would make a fine Royal Guard, and with the money you earn you could buy yourself a house. I'm willing to move some strings and call some people to make sure you can get a nice place, even if you don't accept my offer."

"Koetsu… I don't know what to say, really." He smiles as he leans back.

"You're one of the few people I can call friend, and I want my friends to be safe. It is truly infuriating seeing what the Americans are doing to our nation, to see how most people blame us for our current hardships despite the economic boom we're experiencing in some areas. And while the pieces have fallen in order for me to give you this chance, I just wanted to come and tell you that if you ever need anything, I'm here for you Kageyuki. So, I'll leave the papers with you here. I'll go talk with you at the base in a week." He pours more sake into his cup and drinks.

"And exactly what would I have to do if I join? I know you can't tell me much about your standing but, well, any hints or anything?"

"I think I did told you my family serves the Koubuin, right?" I nod, he did told me that when we were in high school. "Well, the new head is being more firm regarding our involvement on the war. What we're trying to form is a test squad to develop new maneuvers and tactics using the JIVES and some new data. The top performing surface pilots will join Koubuin-sama's personal squad to eventually be loaned to the UN when they ask for our cooperation." Wait… Why would we send a personal squad of a Regent House?

"Koetsu, if it's classified you don't have to tell me but, why are we not sending a Company or a Battalion from the IJA to the UN? Why send someone from the Regent Houses?" He sighs again as he looks at the ceiling.

"Because it seems like the UN is fooling with us." I didn't miss the tint of anger in his answer.

"What happened?"

"To us? Nothing, yet. But the horrible support they gave to Europe during last year was a mockery. If it weren't for the South American troops that were going to the UK in a show of friendship all the civilians would have gotten eaten by the BETA. It's funny that America did more for Europe than the UN."

"What?! America did… I didn't see anything on the news about this, save for the numbers of people that managed to escape before the BETA destroyed Lyon."

"Well, the Americans left a large Battalion of Thunderbolts to deal with the BETA. But most of them died and the BETA kept advancing, and the South American army barely made it in time to aid the Spanish forces that tried to go to Lyon in answer to France's rescue signal. It happened in a flash, as far as I was told. France was split in two after that, the northern forces got isolated and all contact was lost just a few days after that. It was a massacre. And the UN's French branch was more busy playing politic when they should have given a fast response to the threat." He closes his eyes as he slowly shakes his head.

"…Are you sure it's fine to tell me all of this?"

"Don't worry, this is all from an unofficial source." He gives me a small smile.

"Unofficial? Were you there when it happened?"

"Well, what can I say? Why do you think I was given those papers to induct you? We had some meetings with the British, and we shared some insight to aid each other's projects. Of course, we didn't let the UN on this since it seems to be slowly turning into a puppet of America. All the bravado they showed during the war of the '82 seems to have vanished, probably due to pressure and lobbying from the US. You know, the UN did ruin their plans to get more oil. Well, I simply helped someone very important and they now owe me quite some favors. I expect my uniform to change to the white one in a few months, and it's the reason I now have a squadron under me."

"Wow, just… Wow. You're really doing the hard work. Who would have said that laid back guy could be so serious?" I smirk at him causing him to laugh.

"Like you're one to talk. You were always fooling around, and now look at you. Despite everything, you're a model soldier and a responsible parent and husband at that. But it is a crazy thing, how quick time flies."

We pour some more sake into our cups and drink, reminiscing the times we shared at school before all this madness started. Neither of us ever thought we would be piloting these giant robots to fight aliens. Everything seemed so shining, like the future was opening up, full of possibilities for progress. And then, out of nowhere, a plague struck and we're now forced to endure all these things. I can't even start to think on how hard it's truly for him, having to go negotiate with foreigners and come back to be badmouthed by the general population.

Miho eventually managed to make Takeru fall asleep, and us three enjoyed some time chatting before Koetsu left. I couldn't bring myself to tell her of this offer in front of him, after all I don't really know if I should accept.

After we cleaned everything up, I went to Takeru's room. Opening the door slowly, I enter his small resting place. I silently get close to him and knee by his bedside. Ruffling his hair slowly, I remain like that for a long while. Unaware of what's happening to the world, he sleeps peacefully. I feel my hands tremble a bit as I tighten my lips, taking one long breath.

What kind of future do I want for him? I don't see any promotion on the IJA coming, and if things keep going like they have… And if we don't treat Miho properly… And yet, for that I would have to leave them alone. Even if I would send them most of my pay, do I want to be an absent parent? What would Miho do if she ever had a problem?

…

I rest my head by his side, how much has he grown without me noticing. What do I want to give him? I want to see him learn to write, to see him enter school, to give him what I was given. And yet… to let him have that life…

I bring him closer to me, resting my chin on his head, silently staying with him like that. Taking deep breaths to stop the shaking of my hands, my eyes start to show hints of water. What should I do?

…

…As time passed, the moonlight reached us. Opening my eyes and cleaning the tears, I move slowly towards the window. The sky is as beautiful as ever tonight. Seeing it like this… brought back a memory of Grandpa I had forgotten for some time.

"Grandpa, why is Father angry?"

"You see Kageyuki, people don't always get along. It's normal for anyone to fight from time to time." He said, petting me.

"But I don't like it."

"Well, what can you do to help?"

"I don't know. They don't want to talk."

"Come here, Kageyuki. Look at the sky."

"The sky?" I looked up, seeing a dark sky without the moon and filled with stars.

"See? It's really dark today, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"But you can still see the stars, right?"

"Yes, they're always shining up there."

"So, you have to be like them." He said, petting my head again.

"Like the stars?" He lifted me and put me on his lap, and then pointed again to the sky.

"Yes. You see, even in the darkest night the stars will be up there looking out for you. And like them, you have to try to give your light to others when they're lost or feeling bad. If someone you like is in pain, it's up to you to try to make them smile. Even if it isn't much, give them a hug, be by their side, look for a flower they might like. Sometimes you'll have to be like the stars, giving them your light from far away. But so long as you try to help and listen to them, you will be able to make them smile once more. Just know that people fighting and putting some space between them isn't something bad."

…

Making them smile, huh?

That's right, I want them to be happy above everything else. So… even if I have to be far away… My light will reach him, no matter how far apart we are. I won't leave him alone even if I'm not by his side. What wouldn't I give to see him grown, to see hear you learn and turn into a man.

When will we able to live in peace together? Am I an idiot for keeping a frail hope within, to someday be able to just be with you two living a simple, mundane life? For how much longer will I have to be apart from you?

And yet I'm not the only one. The Captain also has a little kid, and yet he can't go see his family until his next leave. Even Major General Ayamine must stay on base despite the fact that he also has a daughter around Takeru's age.

No one deserves this shit. So… If I help the Royal Guard, I would be helping my comrades too, right? Going to the place where I could have the biggest impact, right?

Going to him one last time, sowing his innocent face deep into my heart, I plant a kiss on his head and remain again close to him, our foreheads touching.

No matter where I am, the fact that I'll be living for them won't change. Everyday I'll stand up for you two, and no matter what happens I'll come back. Regardless of the distance between us, I'll make sure my light reaches you and Miho. And this fight isn't just for me, it's for all the people that helped me get here. So that someday we can all stop pretending to not care, so that someday we can cry our sorrow with our loved ones. And for all of those far away, who are stopping the BETA from reaching here, because it's thanks to them that I can spend this time with Takeru.

Even if the darkness comes to the Empire, I will brave through it. I'll endure any hardship, if it's to give you two the life you deserve. Because if your future is crying, it's up to me to make it smile.

I pat his head kindly and leave his side, going to our room. I stop right behind the door, thinking of how to approach her. No matter how I phrase it, I'm leaving her alone. My hands shake a little as I went for the doorknob, I inhale twice with my nose. A thin veil of sweat forming on my palms, I lick my dry lips as I open the door slowly, so slowly. Come on, Kageyuki. Have some balls for the first time in your life.

"Took you long enough. I thought you were going to end up sleeping with Takeru." Miho says with a playful smile, patting the side of the bed. As all the times I come home, she's wearing a thin dark night gown, making it hard to not look at either her bosom or the hints of her waist. Focus, dammit!

"It was a tempting offer to be honest." I chuckle as I sit by her side and she wasted no time in wrapping her hands on my chest, slowly rubbing them up and down. Resting her chin on my shoulder, she whispered into my ear.

"You're so mean, Kage. Today I feel fine for once, you can only be with me four days a month, and you choose Takeru over me?" I could feel the pout from her tone as I felt her breath on my neck.

"Are you jealous of your own son?" I look at her over my shoulder, she gives me a smile and whispers again.

"I just want to have you all for me tonight." She then starts to nibble my ear softly.

As tempting as this is… We need to talk.

"Miho, we can't do this right now." I grab her hands and face her, she looks at me rather puzzled.

"W-What is it? Don't worry, I'm on the pill silly."

"Oh yes, that. W-Wait, that isn't what I want to talk about. Please listen closely and let me finish, yes?" She nods, now looking concerned.

I tell her of Koetsu's offer, of what it would mean for us, of what I want for them.

"And that's the whole thing. I will give it some more thought but, well, I think this is a chance I shouldn't miss." Miho had her gaze looking at the sheets, her shoulders trembling a bit.

"So you won't be home for… almost two months?" Her voice creaked as she got closer, resting her palms on my chest.

"Yes, that's how it would be if I accept." I place my hand on the back of her head and pull her closer, embracing her.

"And you're accepting, right?" She looks up at me, her eyes turning moist.

"I haven't really… Well, I do want to give you two something better than this."

"Kage, don't lie. I know that once you set your mind to something there's no dissuading you. Takeru is just like you in that too, both of you are so stubborn."

"S-Sorry, I just… I know I'm leaving you alone, but… I want to finally get us a nice house of our own, and I want you to go to a good doctor, just in case." She grimaces as she closes her eyes.

"And what about me?"

"I mean…"

"What am I supposed to do alone for such a long time? I can endure this, I know you'll be near, that if anything happened you're just a train away. But going to Osaka? Coming home once every two months? W-What do I do if anything happens to me or Takeru?" She hugs her sides, gazing at me with frail eyes.

"Miho, I'll be sending you most of my pay and you'll be able to move to a nice part of the city. I know you don't want to leave your mother behind, but I don't want to see your health getting worse again." I place my hands on her shoulders "Please, I don't want to be away from you either, but to give you two a good future, I think I… should accept this offer."

"…I'm not changing your mind, am I?"

"I… well, I mean…"

Miho brought both of her hands to my face and with a smile, she lunged forward. Assaulting my relaxed mouth, her tongue danced on its insides, dragging mine along. Moving her tongue from one cheek to the other, so slowly, time and again dancing along mine. It took a serious effort to put my hands on her shoulders and pull her away, forming a string of saliva connecting our mouths.

"M-Miho, please stop. I'm trying to-"

"It's fine. You can join the Guard." She gave me peck this time, then kept gazing at me with a kind look.

"R-Really? You're not… angry?"

"I could never get angry at you for this. You're always thinking on our well-being, and I can see how much this pains you. I want to plead you to not go, I want to keep you here, but I know that… this is probably for the better." The shaking of her voice was slowly becoming more subtle, yet her eyes betrayed that effort, dropping a single tear down her cheeks. "Just… Just promise me one thing?"

"What is it?"

"Promise me you'll stay in that training squad. Promise me you won't join the squad of the Regent House." She bore her eyes into me, as she trembled again for a brief moment.

"That's beyond me, but I don't think they'll allow a commoner into the private squad of the head of a Regent House." She looks down for a while, but then returns my gaze again.

"Then promise me something else."

"What do you want?"

"That you will come back. That you won't have to stay there permanently like some of the rumors say. I've heard that some Royal Guards have to be always serving, without getting breaks." She clawed at my shirt, I pat her head to reassure her.

"I am coming back. Even if it's only once a month, I will come back to you. I swear it."

"…Then, you can go. But… You will come back, right?" It's so painful to hear her shaking voice, and those quivering eyes tear me apart from within.

"Yes, don't worry. If I choose to join, I'll return for sure. You're my family now Miho, I'm not abandoning you." She relaxes and slowly begins to caress my neck again.

"That's not… what worries me."

"What do you mean?" She exhales the pressure off her chest, and looks at me shaking a bit, fear clouding her eyes.

"I'm thinking about Takeru. If anything happened to me, he'll have to stay alone."

"Miho, don't say that. Nothing will-" She raises a finger and closes my lips.

"Kage, promise me you'll always take care of him. Please."

"Sigh… You really are an idiot." I hug her tightly. "I will always be here, for both of you. So don't go saying sad things like that again, got it?"

"Yes. But…" She kisses me again, first softly, then a bit more fiercely, and she ends up on top of me biting my lips. "Well, I'll believe you. So for tonight… Let me have you some more."

"You really like to be on top."

"Only because someone is too dense to not notice how badly I want him. And who knows when you'll be coming back this time. So Kage, you better get ready to give me all of your love tonight, and every night you come back to me. Every. Single. Drop of it."

"As if that's any different than what we usually do." I kiss her again, and slowly we let our hands wander again, resetting the ritual.

---

August 28th, 02:12 PM.
(Train Station. Nakanoto.)

---

I sigh yet again just before the train's doors open. With heavy steps I leave it behind and start walking towards home. I receive some weird glares, and a guy shouted an insult at me but he ran away when I sent him a glare. I have no time to deal with motherfuckers like you, coward.

I'm still not used to this dress. It's so unpractical to wear, it has so many different pieces, and it feels so, so bad to use it in the summer. How do they remain so calm all the time on this thing?! Do they have ice on their veins?

I finally reach my home. I have good news, bad news, and awful news to give them. I gulp and put the key on. It feels so heavy right now, I can barely twist it around. Hearing the sound of the lock surrendering to the key I exhale loudly and open the door. Calm those hands dammit.

I set foot into my home. The sound of footsteps approaching soon greets my ears.

"Kage, is that you?" Miho's face peeks behind a turn, her eyes widening as she seems me.

"Hey, I'm back. How have you been?" I slowly approach her, she recovers from the initial shock and gives me a hug as we kiss.

"Welcome home. But what are you doing on your suit?"

"We aren't allowed to leave it around. We must keep it with us at all times, even if we are not going to be wearing it. I did leave the katana back in Osaka, though. So, how have you been?" She breaks eye contact as she digs her face on my chest.

"Fine. Everything's fine."

"Miho, what happened?" Her frail tone gave her away, the way she seems to be trying to make herself smaller being a most obvious hint. She looks worse than last time too.

"…Mom died."

Oh… Oh, shit.

"Did she suffer?"

"No, she died in her sleep. Peacefully as anyone would rather die. It… doesn't make this any better." I wipe the single runaway tear that escaped her eyes, and give her a soft kiss on her forehead. I wrap my arms around her and we remain still for a while.

"So, feeling better?"

"Y-Yes. Thanks, Kage. I've missed you. A lot." She gives me a peck as we break our embrace.

"So, how has Takeru being doing?"

"Oh, fine. I couldn't bring myself to tell him what it means to die, so I told him Mom went on a voyage somewhere. He was really sad for weeks but he's alright now."

"Where is he?"

"Watching Chop-kun's show. Why?" I look at her straight in the eye, letting out a sigh.

"I have some things to tell you."

"Serious things?"

"Yes. Let's go to our room."

Miho nods and goes tell Takeru to be quiet, but the little one dashed to my side as he saw me with his eyes turned into stars. I gave him a tight hug and a kiss on his cheek.

"How have you been, Takeru?"

"Good. But Dad, what is this thing?" He says as he tugs at my black dress.

"This is Dad's new uniform."

"Ooh… Why is it black?"

"It's just my color, that's all." Explaining to him all the reasoning behind this would take too long, and he wouldn't get it either.

"But it looks like the ones the samurai rangers that appear on TV use. Are you a samurai, Dad?"

"Oh, yes. Something like that." His eyes sparkle up, filling with stars.

"So are you one of the black samurai? Do you help the blue ones?"

Sometimes I don't know if he's just very good at guessing or if he can actually see through me. Kids can be really sharp when you least expect them to.

"I guess? I'm not the only one though. There's many people were I work with the same uniform helping the blue samurais." He's looking so surprised I couldn't help to let out a laugh.

"Dad, you're great!"

"Hahaha, maybe I am." I give him a pat on the head, ruffling his hair tenderly. "Takeru, Mom and Dad have to talk for awhile. Can you stay here watching TV?"

"Yes." He nods and after I give him another hug he goes back to the TV.

"He missed you a lot, you know?" Miho says as she leans on me.

"I know. I missed you two a lot, too."

We slowly make our way to our room as we tell each other of our daily lives.

"So you're on Kurosawa-san's squad?"

"Yes, thankfully. It's been hard, adapting to the protocol."

"I don't see you speaking formally to anyone, Kage." She smirks at me, bringing one finger to her lips.

"I don't. I can't speak in Keigo to save my life. People just have gotten used to me being 'the rude commoner' of the squad." I drop my shoulders a bit as Miho giggles.

"Well, we're here." She opens the door and we go inside. She sits on the bed, I remain standing. "So, what is this about?" Her gaze and tone turned serious as she looked up at me.

"First, the good news. I made a deal with a landlord and got a nice apartment for you in Yao. The rent and the taxes are a bit expensive, but we'll be closer like this."

"Are you sure? What about saving for our house? And how did you get the owner to negotiate?" Thank Koetsu for that, he can be very 'persuasive' when he wants to.

"We just sat down and had an honest talk as adults." She gives me a side glance, not buying my excuse. "Well, that's that. So, then we go into the second thing." I couldn't keep the bitterness out of my voice, and that made Miho's face get filled by anxiety.

"What is it?"

"I… got the approval to stay in Osaka."

"Really?! But that's good, Kage! It means you're now officially part of the Guard!" Her smiling flowers suddenly vanished as she saw my face.

"It isn't so simple. You see… Apparently, some important people took notice of my piloting skills. And they decided to place me under the Osaka Guards. Which means a bigger paycheck, but it also means that… I'll only be able to take a week off in the entire year." Miho gasped at my words, color draining from her face.

"Only a week? But…"

"And the last bad news is that… The Osaka Guards is another name for… Koubuin-sama's personal squad. Since the Koubuin family is tasked with protecting the Osaka Castle, their Main House is close to it. Well, they're the ones who rule over Osaka and some neighboring prefectures for the Emperor. So… that means I'm now part of the House's vassals."

"…So, if the Koubuins have to go to war… you'll be going with them?"

"…Yes, I will have to march to the frontlines with them." Miho's eyes finally stop resisting and tears cascade down her face.

I get close and hug her, she grabs my arms tightly as her sobs pierce my heart. All the teachings of poise leave my mind as I cry alongside her. Sorry, to do this to you now of all times.

"…B-But the war is still far away, right? You won't have to fight now." My eyes meet with her, and as much as I'd like to lie to her, the gash on my chest flares up, telling me to be honest with her.

"Miho, we may get sent to aid the UN in the future." Her face froze, as if trying to understand the meaning of my word.

"Why?" After a moment of silence she asked. "Why are you being sent to the UN?! Why can't they do something about this themselves?! What are the Soviets or the Chinese doing?!"

"Miho, please calm down!" Her frown grows bigger as she grits her teeth.

"Why?! Where are the Americans or the Europeans?! Why do we have to go fight their war?!" She got closer and clawed at my dress, staining it with her endless tears. I embrace her tightly, pointlessly trying to stop her and my tears.

"It's our war too, Miho. If we don't team up all together, the aliens will tear us apart. And I do not want to let them get here. I won't let them take you or Takeru away from me."

"And what if they take you away from us?!" She looked at me, her eyes shaking as she wailed. I took a deep breath and returned her gaze.

"Miho… If that's what awaits me, I'm willing to die for you."

"Kage… Don't say that…"

"I'm willing to step into the battlefield, to put my life on the line if it's for you and Takeru. It doesn't matter what comes after me, I won't let them lay a finger on you." Her knees buckled and I had to hold her to prevent her from falling.

"Don't say that… Why do we commoners have to go fight?! We're just normal people. What can you do there?! Why do you have to go?!"

"Because… I ended up being a good pilot. Sure, when I started I was a failure, but… thanks to all the people that had patience with me, that lent me their shoulders, I became who I am now. So, while my fight is mainly for you and Takeru, I'm also willing to fight for those who have helped me. For Koetsu, for all of the guys of the Tiger squad, for my Instructors and my teachers. I thought I was useless back in the day, but this is what I can do best. For my friends, and for you two."

"But… What am I gonna do if you die? I can't… If I'm alone, I can't…" I lift her chin upwards and give her a peck.

"Miho, you're stronger than you think. And I'm not leaving you alone, because I'll always be with you. I'll leave behind as much as I can, so that you can keep Takeru safe." She wraps her arms around my neck, embracing me tightly.

We stand there, hugging each other as we silently weep. My heart is thrown into a tempestuous sea, typhoons roaring within. Every sob, every tear, eat at me. Please don't cry, Miho. I can remain strong because you always gave me the strength to move on, you're the lighthouse that guides my travels, that bright light which I always use to remind me that all of this isn't pointless.

Your brown eyes, teary eyes force me to bite my lips. Even if I'm chasing a gentle lie, even if in the end the BETA come here and devour us all, I just want… Please let me fight without regrets. I can barely breath as my lungs shrink, a tight chain wrapped on my stomach.

"Miho, please. It's not like I'm marching to war tomorrow."

"But you might have to."

"You know I want nothing more than to stay with you. I rather spend my days here with you and Takeru, teaching him all I know, working and coming home to you, to share kisses and jokes as before. But…"

She again rests her head on my chest as I stroke her hair.

The door creaks, startling us both. Peeking from the opening, Takeru's tiny eyes stared into the room.

"Dad? Mom?" He entered the room slowly, looking at us with worry. Miho broke the embrace and turned to him.

"Takeru, we're talking about something important. Go back to the living room."

"B-But…" I don't like this. I don't like the look on his face.

Miho is right. I might have to leave before I can see them again. This might be… and all the following visits… might be the last time we see each other. I go towards him, crouching by his side.

"Takeru, Dad has something really important to tell you." His eyes locked onto me, forcing me to hold back the tears.

"Why are you crying? Did you get hurt?" He rubs my cheeks with his tiny hand. That soft, gentle hand paired with his worried look is picking at my resolve. Get your shit together, Kageyuki. You have to be strong for him.

"You see Takeru. Dad is going to have to go with… the other samurai rangers to fight some bad guys in the future." His eyes open wide, clearly surprised.

"Really? Are you gonna win?"

"Y-Yeah, that's the idea. That's why I have this new uniform. But since we need to train a lot, I won't be coming home as often as before. But I want you to know this, I'm going to be always thinking about you." I grab him and embrace him tightly. "Dad is going to go beat those bad guys someday, and then we will be able to live together. So… please be a good boy and help your Mom, yes?"

"Yes, I'll be good. But when are you coming back?" The arrow pierces my heart, I ruffle his hair and give him a kiss on the forehead.

"I don't know. We might have to go help the other rangers any day, but you don't worry, okay? Dad is going to do his best and I'll be back here before you know it."

"You promise?"

"Yes, I promise. Because I have the strongest power in the whole squad, you know?" He again opens his eyes wide.

"What is it? What power?"

"Love, Takeru. Love is the strongest power in the whole world. That's why I always give you so many hugs. You give me strength, Takeru." I hug him again and this time he returns the hug.

"So hugs give power?"

"Yes, when you give them to the people you like. That's why… give your Mom lots of hugs for me when I'm gone, yes?"

"Yes, I'll give her a lot of hugs!" He smiles as I lift him, holding him close to me.

"So, now that we told you that, how about we go read a book or two?"

"Yes!" His honest, innocent gaze heals my tired heart, thirsty for this affection. Even if it's just for today, let's forget about the war. There's so much I want to ask you, so much I want to tell you.

"So, go find a book you like and wait for me by the table, okay?" I lower him to the ground and with a nod he dashes off towards his room.

…

"Please don't cry anymore, Miho." I wipe the tears off her face as she calms down.

"What do you want me to do? It looked like you were saying your goodbyes to him."

"You did say that I might be sent to war any day, so… I want to give him as much as I can while I'm still here. Tomorrow… might be too late, after all." She grasps my chin and gives me kiss, first kindly and then more passionate. I'm not the only one thirsty for affection, I'm sure she must be juggling a thousand emotions now.

"Please be careful, Kage. Please." I hug her again, softly this time.

"I will. Don't worry, I have no intentions of leaving you two behind."

---

November 14th, 1988. Around Noon.

(Osaka. Near the residential district.)

[Mami Kobayashi]

---

"Sir, if I may, why are we going to this apartment? What business do you have with the commoners here?" I ask Kurosawa-sama as I look out the window while we're being driven to an apartment complex.

Kurosawa-sama had a hand of his placed under his chin, dressed in the white attire of the Guard. He looked at me and smiled, crossing one leg over the other.

"We're going to lend a hand to a fellow."

"What do you mean, sir? Is there an outpost of the Guard nearby?"

"No, a friend of mine lives here."

"And… why are we meeting up with this person?"

"You see, he's going to move to a new house, one that was on his sights since a long time ago, but his wife has not been well as of late. So, we're going to help him with the packing and other matters."

"Kurosawa-sama, forgive my rudeness, but you cannot use the resources of the Royal Guard for personal matters such as these. I might be your retainer, but I will have to notify Koubuin-sama of this." I cannot believe him… I knew Father was too lenient with him. Kurosawa-sama, how can you make such an obvious miss? Your honor will be stained for this careless action.

"Oh, you might want to see this before you do."

He produces a paper from a suitcase he had and passes it to me. I read the words carefully, my grip loosening the more I tried to comprehend the meaning of the phrases that formed before me.

"…Are you telling me Koubuin-sama allowed us to come to this person's aid?"

"Yes, that is the case. I know you're still fresh out of the Training Program, but Takahisa-sama does tend to do these… seemingly irrational acts once his mind has been made up. So, I expect no more complaining from you." He smiles at me, taking the page from my hands softly.

"Forgive my insolence, Kurosawa-sama."

"Now, don't be so extreme. I am relying on you to keep me updated if anything does require my attention today, Kobayashi. By the way, did we receive word on the MDF's testings?"

"Yes, sir. The Northern Squadron was pleased with the F-15's performance even during this harsh weather. Once its elbow joints were strengthened it could very easily manipulate the Type-74 Blade, even when it started snowing strongly."

"I see, it seems we will end up adopting the Eagle in the end. Haha, Eiji is going to be mad at this turn of events." He looks out the window, laughing quietly.

"Eiji? Who do you speak of, sir?"

"Nothing you should worry about, Kobayashi. Now, let me ask you a question. Are you good with children?" He combed his dark orange hair backwards, resting his chin against his softly coiled hand.

"…I believe you already had a fiancee, sir?"

"No, I didn't meant it in that way. I meant dealing with grown children." His brows lower, but his smiles doesn't grow smaller.

"Oh… I don't really know. Being the younger of the family, I never had to deal with little kids. Why do you ask, sir?"

"Well, our fellow has one very active boy in his home. I will be asking you to help me deal with him until we finish with the packing."

Am I to nanny a peasant? I am afraid I do not know much of their customs or what they find entertaining. I don't watch much TV myself and I've been living in our bunks for the last three years during my training to be admitted into the Royal Guard.

It's thanks to all this sacrifice I have proved myself worthy of wearing this gray dress, prove that I am indeed worthy of my birthright. But I fear I might not be able to fulfill the orders Kurosawa-sama is tasking of me, I know next to nothing about how to properly deal with children. Sigh… Why must you always give me so difficult tasks to complete, sir? I rather be your test pilot or spend the afternoon behind a PC, but taking care of a kid…

"So, am I to look after this boy? Might I ask who are we helping?" I move my hair behind my ear, awaiting his answer.

"1st Lt. Shirogane of the Osaka Guards."

"Huh?! Shirogane… That Shirogane? That coarse member of Koubuin-sama's squad?"

"Kobayashi… You might feel however you like within, but I would be very grateful if you minded your language when talking about my friend." Kurosawa-sama's eyes folded inwards brushing away his calmness, replaced by the bluntness of anger. I quickly bow, it is rare to see him be this openly upset.

"My apologies, sir. But… I have not heard good things of Shirogane."

"Well, many hold a grudge against him. A commoner that's better than trained nobles… A peasant that's praised by Takahisa-sama more than our royal fellows… Surely you can see why such ugly rumors spread?"

"So, is he not as barbaric as described?" I have heard many unpleasant stories about the man.

That he never uses honorifics, that he doesn't follow our formations on the field, that he hasn't learned calligraphy despite the efforts to teach him, that he tends to oversleep and miss our morning meetings… And those are only the ones that come to mind as of now.

"He is rather rude, by our standards. But he has a golden heart under that rough exterior."

I don't know… Maybe he's only near Kurosawa-sama to take advantage of him. Using his skill within a cockpit, he worms his way into the Guard… The man might even be a spy of the IJA. I must remain vigilant, it might not have been half a year since I officially joined the ranks of the Royal Guard but I cannot allow someone like that man to suck our blood out.

I caress my hair as I let out some air. My face reflected in the window, my hair cut in its usual bowl shape with its light brown color, my violet eyes mired by tiredness thanks to our recent endeavors, and yet he asks of me to look after a child.

As I let my mind wander, I look at the scenery before me. The buildings outside my window reflect a state of life that one would not expect. Stores filled with technological appliances, others offering the most varied clothing options, large bookstores with both foreign texts and mangas… Yet, there is a part of our society that cannot even allow themselves one of such luxuries, that painstakingly trudges on just to make ends meet by the end of the month.

The Empire progresses, but for whose sake? What good is all this opulence for if our people are still suffering from the same problems of decades past? If the common folk fail to see we are the cause behind our current peace, instead some taking the side of the Americans… What a regretful state of affairs, such ignorance to have made nest in the people's hearts. And the same for this arrangement… What reason is behind bestowing Shirogane such special treatment? What has he done to deserve such deference?

The rest of the ride passed in a few minutes. Kurosawa-sama, me, and others of his personal servants dressed in their casual clothing arrived at the place. A large green building with many individual apartments, nothing out of the ordinary.

We have to take the elevator, and, after getting out and confirming the area is safe, I allow Kurosawa-sama to come into the hallway.

"Kobayashi, I am thankful for your protection, but I believe this might be a bit too much."

"Nonsense. As your retainer, it is my duty to ensure your safety." He sighs, shaking his head as he smiles.

I walk by his side, looking up at him and at what is around us as he goes towards the door with the name we're here for. After ringing the bell and waiting a moment, a man in a red and white sweater opens the door. He's almost as tall as Kurosawa-sama, with dark brown hair down cut short. Unlike Kurosawa-sama, however, his build was more resembling a soldier, muscular and lean. His gaze was a relaxed one, however. Or is he faking being amicable, perchance?

"Hey Kageyuki! How's everything?"

"Koetsu, I told you it was fine. How are you going to justify this to your superiors?" Hmm… It seems he's a reasonable person, he doesn't seem to be lying going by his tone.

"Don't worry, I got the approval of Koubuin-sama right here." He smiles as he hands this Shirogane the paper he showed me before.

"You have got to be kidding me…" The man's brows twitched, then he let out another sigh. He's honestly surprised, but there's also tiredness in his reaction for some reason. "I told you all this was my own problem. You don't have to do this. And… why did you bring this many people?"

"What are you talking about? Fellows support each other in times of need, right? Now, let's go in. There is much to do, I'm sure." Kurosawa-sama says, making this Shirogane sigh.

"Well, I can't just send you away after you all came here. Please, come in." The man bows to us, not as deeply as I would have liked, and we all enter his home.

It's a rather nice house, if I say so myself. A small A/C, a larger than usual TV, a good kitchen… Oh, and what of these books? Most of them… seem to be good choices. Hmm… At the least they have a good taste for literature.

Many boxes were on the floor. It seems the man was putting his belongings away by himself until moments ago.

"Sorry for the mess, I'm not even half done yet." Shirogane said, scratching his head and burying his gaze into the floor.

"Well, you leave this to us. You have to go to the hospital, don't you?" Kurosawa-sama said, the severity he usually displays when I give him sour reports present in his voice. What's this about a hospital?

"Hey, I can't just leave this to you all."

"Miho-san is waiting. Go, that's an order as a Guard."

"This is a personal matter, Koetsu. You know that she might-"

"Don't worry." Kurosawa-sama patted Shirogane's shoulder. "She'll be alright. You go on, I'd do her well to see you before the last treatment."

…What is this about? The man is just going to leave? We, public servants of the Empire, made nothing but the maids of a commoner? And, this must be about his wife. Whatever happened to her? They're supposed to be moving but she's in the hospital. With the salary he earns, his wife is in such delicate state?

"Sorry, Koetsu."

"Don't apologize, Kageyuki. Come on, go get ready. Everybody, start packing everything with utmost care. By the way, where is Takeru?"

"Oh, he's in his room. He says he doesn't want to start packing without Miho." Shirogane sighs, cracks spawning within some of his words.

"Alright, leave him to me. Kobayashi, follow me. Kageyuki, please don't worry and hurry to the hospital." Kurosawa-sama folded his arms and returned a bright smile at him, the man nodded after taking a deep breath.

"Yeah, I'll do that." Shirogane then looks my way, giving me a short nod. "Oh, and thanks a lot for helping out Kobayashi-san. Is Benmaru-san doing well?"

"Huh? You know Father?"

"Yes, I met him way back in high school." He smiles, his words filled with a breeze of sunshine. So he was fond of Father?

"Kageyuki and me go way back, so he met your father all the time when he went to pick me up."

"I see… Well, Father is doing fine. He's in good health, thankfully."

"That's good to hear. Tell him I said hi the next time you see him. Well, please be patient with Takeru. I know he might be… too rude for you." His face grew tense and tainted, as if an ink stain permeated his paling white complexion.

"Don't worry, Kobayashi might not look like it but she is very patient. Isn't that right?" Kurosawa-sama, I am thankful you think so of me. However, dealing with children is not part of the job description I signed up for.

"I will do my best in looking after him." I give the man a small, court bow.

Shirogane thanks me and goes into his room. The rest were already putting his silverware and books inside the boxes, some with clear, understandable displeasure rising in their faces.

"Well, let's see how he's doing." I follow Kurosawa-sama as he goes to a door to our left. Opening it, a small shape was laying atop a bed with blue and white sheets within the darkened room. "Takeru, how are you?"

"…Uncle Koetsu?" The boy rose from the bed as Kurosawa-sama went to open the blinds.

"Hey, how are you?" He got closer to the boy and ruffled his short hair. "So you finally cut your hair, huh?"

"I liked it more when it was long." The boy looks down, tightly gripping his sheets.

"Hahaha… Well, why are you not packing? Miho-san will scold you when she comes back."

"…Is she coming back?" The little one's voice became as small as his stature, his gaze crumbling in slow motion.

"Of course. Kageyuki just went to pick her up. Come on, let's start sorting everything."

"But… But if we pack before she comes back, nothing will be here…"

"Takeru, we're not leaving without her. But you have to be a good boy for her, yes? Let's make sure everything is ready when she comes back, then you'll have dinner without worrying about any more boxes." Kurosawa-sama hugs the boy, sitting by his side on the bed. "Don't worry, she hasn't left anywhere. So, let's help out with packing your stuff. What do you say?"

I didn't… I didn't knew Kurosawa-sama could be this soft with children. I am so used to him goofing around, but also being clearly serious when the need arises.

"…Okay. But Mom is coming back, right?"

"Of course. So, what do we start with? Let's put your toys in the boxes first. How do you want to order them?"

I see… By engaging him in this way instead of ordering him to do it, the boy might be more willing to pack his belongings.

"Kobayashi, come and help us out."

"Yes, sir. However, please let me handle this task. As your retainer, I cannot allow you to lower yourself to this meager work."

"Please don't be like this. I came here to help, not to stand looking at the rest. What would that say of me, forcing my men to work but standing comfortably to a side?"

"I understand your wishes, but as your subordinate I must voice my objection." He sighs, rubbing his forehead. Father was truly too lenient with you.

"…Uncle, who is she?" Guh… I had noticed his manner of speech, but to address an adult in such a way? I know he is but a child, however, he should have been taught better.

"She's Mami Kobayashi, she's like my assistant." I'm more than that, sir. I didn't train three years to be merely an assistant to you.

The boy got down from his bed and came up to me, fidgeting a bit.

"Hello Mami-san. I'm Takeru." He held out his hand to me and I took it, shaking it softly.

"Hello, Takeru-kun. I would rather you address me as Kobayashi-san, if you could."

"But your name is Mami…" He squints his brows, puffing his cheeks a bit.

"Takeru likes to address people by their names, Kobayashi. Please, he's a kid. Let him call you in the way he likes." Kurosawa-sama, we're the Royal Guard! We can't let someone address us so informally, why can't he use my surname?

"…Sorry." The boy pulled his hand away from mine after he seemed to notice my displeasure, looking down in silence afterwards. He looks most positively saddened now. Kurosawa-sama narrowed his eyes at me as he rested his chin on a hand, sending chills down my back.

"Ah… No, it is alright. So Takeru-kun, you may address me by my name if you like." He looked up again, his eyes imitating the dawn sky. "So, what might we help you with?"

Then, we both helped the boy pack his toys and books, despite my complains at Kurosawa-sama. Despite his rude attitude, Takeru-kun seems to be a friendly fellow with the quirks of a healthy kid. He is thankful despite his manners, so I can see he was raised well. And… I do wonder why he refers to us as 'samurai rangers'. Though, it is refreshing to hear a kid praising the Guard in these times, regardless of his manners.

"Mami-san, what kind of books do you read?" Takeru-kun asked as he ordered some stick figures before putting them in a box just opened.

"Me? I prefer long novels myself."

"How long?"

"Oh, the longer the better. I have very little free time myself, so I welcome an immersive world to dive into. It is fascinating to see all the details of the work when all the connections are explained." I say, caressing my hair behind my ear.

"But isn't that really, really long?" He said as he placed a book in the box. "Isn't it boring to read through all the conversations?"

"Has someone read a book of this kind to you before, Takeru-kun?"

"Uncle tried to read me one about pirates once, but it was boring." He puffs his cheeks a bit. "It was all about the past, and what the guys were doing before getting to this island full of monkeys… It was more funny when it was about the puzzles of the island." He says, making Kurosawa-sama chuckle.

Yes, he also recommended those novels to me. And while I generally welcome long stories, that one was a surprise indeed despite being about pirates and the simplicity of its wording.

"I found it good myself, truth be told. I know you might not like books of such magnitude, but I suggest you to review your opinion of it. I believe you'd be well served in asking your parents to read it with you whenever you can."

"You speak weird sometimes, Mami-san." He said, giving me a pout. I forgot he was five… He might not have understood me.

"Haha, Kobayashi remember that Takeru is just barely six."

"I know, and that is why I am suggesting him to not dismiss the book just because of its length." If his father is a Royal Guard, this boy has the chance of also gaining an induction if his academic performance is good enough. He is rude, but I can see why Kurosawa-sama holds them in high esteem. The boy has good intentions, he just lacks manners.

"But it was a lot… Who would read a book with so much stuff about the past? Everybody is going to end up bored." He said in a pouty voice, his cheeks puffing with the slowness of a moving cloud.

"Sigh… Well, it might be boring to you, but I enjoyed it much. When you enjoy something, you wish to share it to others, don't you?"

"…I don't have anyone to read with. The boys at school don't really like me, and Mom has been sick for a while." His gaze wanders to the floor, his shoulders wandering downwards like leaves in autumn.

Oh… I see… People here do value our traditions dearly. Someone so rude would most assuredly be looked at harshly by the rest. And those who dislike the Guard might also hold a grudge towards him due to his father's standing.

"Don't worry, Takeru." Kurosawa-sama patted his head. "You'll find good friends in your new school."

"Really?"

"Yes, you will. If I may, why don't you give that book a try again? Then you could talk about it with Kobayashi."

"Huh? Sir, we don't have time for-"

"I'm sure we can get a small break every now and then, can't we Kobayashi?" Guh… Why do you look at me so, my liege? Why go so far for this kid? I can see he at least has been raised with good values since he's thankful and polite, in his own childish way. But why go so far for him?

"Well, it is true that we could… However, our free time shouldn't…" Takeru-kun looked down again, Kurosawa-sama sighed deeply.

"You can exchange letters, recommending each other books you like. That won't be too much for you, right Kobayashi?"

"If it's an order…"

"No, it isn't. It's a suggestion."

"Uncle, why are you angry?"

"I am not, Takeru. I think Kobayashi needs someone to talk to, just like you do. So, why not have you share letters and books?"

I need someone to talk to? What is this about? I fold my arms, narrowing my brows as I inhale through my nose slowly. Pondering the idea as I lick the inner side of my lips, the currents of thought bring no answer to the shore of my mind. Why do I require of someone to speak to? No, why must that someone be this kid?

"Takeru, we'll go get some snacks. You wait for us here, okay?" Kurosawa-sama pets the boy again, Takeru-kun nods and Kurosawa-sama signals me to follow him out of the room. He then stands up upright as we walk into the kitchen, stopping near the fridge. Directing his gaze straight into mine, once more making me conscious of the difference in stature between us, he pours himself some water into a glass. "So Kobayashi… You seem to have something on your mind."

"Why are you recommending me to engage in such endeavors, Kurosawa-sama?"

"I said so just now. You need someone to talk to." He slowly drinks from the glass, closing his eyes.

"Why must that someone be Takeru-kun? What good could come out of this?"

"…Haven't you noticed what you lack, 2nd Lt. Kobayashi?" He folded his arms, addressing me as if we were in his personal office. "What is your most blunt side?"

"My most blunt side? I believe I have showed him enough patience today, sir. And I have engaged him in these talks about his toys repeatedly as we sorted his belongings. What do you speak of?" He sighs, shaking his head like the cup of a tree when a sudden gust comes its way.

"You are being held back by your prejudices, Kobayashi. You're looking down on peasants all the time. Do you think I haven't noticed it?"

"We nobles know more than them, so obviously I think they shouldn't speak up as often or as rudely as they do. Especially some of those 'experienced' NCOs from the IJA."

Kurosawa-sama shakes his head yet again, taking a few steps towards me. His gaze grows as harsh as winter in Hokkaido.

"Kobayashi, I cannot have a retainer that looks down on others based on their social status." His voice lost his ever present shine and friendliness, in it the fangs of my commander showed itself as clear as dawn. "I firmly believe you'd do well in trying to see their point of view. That's why I want you to do this book exchange. You'll be able to see what Takeru sees, what a commoner's child sees, how he sees our nation from his young, inexperienced eyes. You are going to be working for the future he will live, so you need to start thinking on how to address the people that you and I will affect with our work." He takes a breath, his eyes narrowing further as he sees my growing frown as doubt litters my shores. "If you value status so much, if you think we shouldn't try to understand what our common fellows see and think… Should I transfer you to the Horn Battalion?" A sting piked my heart of hearts, my pride and soul.

"K-Kurosawa-sama! I… I would never go as far as those serving House Ikaruga are willing to go. I am loyal to you, and to House Koubuin. I… I merely… Why did I spend these three years without learning of such an approach, if it is so vital to our endeavors?"

"Because General Makabe doesn't believe it to be important." He says, squinting his eyes. "However, I believe you'd do well in trying to bridge your misconceptions of our peasant population. Just because you received higher education at an earlier age, just because you had the honor of being born into the nobility, that doesn't make you any better than them. Remember that some of our common folk are more devoted and loyal to the Shogun than some of our noble fellows."

"Yes… I can see your point, sir. However…"

"…Kobayashi, did I ever tell you I was scorned back in school?"

"Eh? Scorned?" His gaze sails away from mine, a grim smile appears on his face.

"Yes, that was the case. Since I was a noble many were the people that didn't think too highly of me. Back then I also was a low ranking Tozama, so I wasn't allowed to attend to the private schools of the nobility. So, care to guess who stood up in between them and me when they wished to harm me?"

"…I suppose that Shirogane did, sir?"

"Yes, that's the case." He leaves the glass on the table, going to grab some cookies. "Kageyuki got truly upset at how people were unfair with me. He was the only one for those three long years I could call friend in that place. Even if after that life's roads took us to different places, I will never forget what he did for me. He taught me that commoners aren't all 'rude, uneducated sheep' that need to be guided by us, the high nobles. The praise we are given, the status we are born into, the honor and reverence we receive daily… If we don't manage it well, it may become a poison that will twist our vision into performing acts of madness. I am sure you have read about… the dark side of our history, and what this exacerbated, misguided pride made our grandfathers do." I nod, holding the urge to bite my lips. "You'd do well in learning to keep your ego in check, Kobayashi."

"…I see. However, why do you want me to share letters with this boy?" I can see the importance of your words. But that is something I can work on by your side in our daily endeavors under yours and our fellows' gaze.

"I am sure you saw it when you spoke with him. Takeru doesn't have many friends. He… doesn't have that someone his father was for me." Grabbing two packs of cookies, he looks towards me again with half closed eyes. "If you can learn to see what our common fellows see, and if Takeru can gain someone to talk with, even if only once in a while, I see no reason to not do this. That's why this isn't an order but a suggestion."

If this is so important for Kurosawa-sama, it would do me well to be receptive of his advice. If he believes I am lacking, then I could try this out. It is merely a letter a month, it isn't such a demanding endeavor. And, who knows? Maybe some of Takeru-kun's recommendations might be interesting to read.

"Then, I will try. I can't promise you he'll like my suggestions, but I'll do what I can."

"I see. Thanks, Kobayashi. Come on, let's go back."

We return to the room. Takeru-kun had filled the box with his toys, and was now sorting some books.

"Here, some cookies Takeru." Kurosawa-sama hands him one pack, and they pick some from it after it was opened. "By the way, Kobayashi agreed to share book suggestions with you."

"Eh? Really?" He then got closer to me, again looking as happy as a puppy.

"Yes, if you'd like to we could share letters."

"Yay! Thanks, Mami-san!" He then leaped at me, giving me a hug.

"Um… Takeru-kun, my uniform will get-"

"Haha, Takeru does like to give hugs." Kurosawa-sama, lend me a hand here please! How will I explain my appearance when we return to your office?

"So, what books do you want to talk about?" Takeru-kun said, smiling as brightly as the sun now.

"Well, I suggest you to read that novel we were talking about before."

"Huh? But it's so long…"

As we finished tidying up his room, he told me what he thought of the book, and of all the books we saved as we ordered the boxes. He seems to be more focused on what happens rather than in the teachings of the books, but he also can sometimes say interesting things, especially regarding how he justifies the hero's actions.

"But there's one book I really, reaaaally don't like." He said, moving his tiny hands up and down.

"Which one?"

"This one here." He goes to pick up one of the books we had yet to put in a box, and he then comes to my side, holding it with both hands to me.

"…Mayal's Gift?" A picture book? I fail to see what can be conveyed in such simple manner. What could this be about?

"It's really, really sad. It's so cruel…" He squints his eyes at the book, plucking his lips.

"We're almost done here. I'll put his clothes in the last boxes, why don't you read it together?" Kurosawa-sama said, smiling at the kid.

"Sir, as your retainer, I-"

"Then it's an order." He turned his back to us, going to the small wardrobe of the child. Sigh…

"However, what would it say about me if-"

"Kobayashi, did I just heard you don't want any more soy sauce in your lunch?" He said, smiling like a hyena at me.

"N-No, sir! I said no such thing."

"Then, you know what to do."

"Mami-san, what is this about soy sauce?" Takeru-kun pulled my sleeve, tilting his head to a side.

"Nothing you should worry about. So, you think this book is sad Takeru-kun?" I sat down on his bed and he came to my side.

"Yes, it's really sad. I don't like how it ends."

"Well… Let's see what it's about."

…

Mayal, a small fairy, lives alone in a forest without any memories of the past… meets a girl from a nearby village…

They become friends and begin to play together, the girl bringing more friends to play… But, eventually, the kids grow up and stop visit Mayal, who, as a fairy, matured slower than humans.

They were too old to play with the child fairy anymore. But the first girl didn't forget about the fairy and she kept visiting her.

And then, Mayal remembered something. And so, the fairy gave her first friend one last present. One final…

"Goodbye."

That's because Mayal was the fairy of farewells, fated to teach the little kids that visit her the meaning of those words. She had forgotten her role, and so, people lived on without knowing how to say goodbye.

And so, the girl moved on. Knowing that word, it is said she became the kindest person in the land. And Mayal is left once more alone in the forest, knowing that no matter how many good friends she makes, she will always have to be left behind in order to teach them… the meaning of farewells.

…

"See? It's so cruel… The fairy ends up alone, everybody just left her in the forest." Takeru-kun pouts at the last page of the book.

"I… don't think so."

"Why?"

"I think this book actually showcases a very important teaching. One must not be afraid of change."

"Afraid of change? What change? They just left the fairy alone in the forest! They're so cruel!" Takeru-kun puffed his cheeks, squinting his eyes.

"How can I explain it to you?" How would he understand? This is actually a very nice way of explaining this matter to little kids… But he missed the message entirely. "Let's see… You're going to be leaving this house soon, won't you?"

"Yes, but there's no fairy here."

"That's not the point… Moving forward is what you always do. That kid that still went to visit Mayal didn't want to move on. She had to grow up, but she didn't want to."

"Why can't she be an adult and visit the fairy?"

"It's a way of saying that once you grow up, there are things and places you won't be able to return to. And, even if you do, it won't be the same. Let's say that in ten years you tried to go to the same swings you go now, you wouldn't fit on them anymore, right?"

"Yeah…"

"Does that mean you abandoned the swings?"

"…But that's not the same. The swings aren't people." Sigh…

"But you won't be able to play with them anymore, right?"

"Yeah, that's true."

"In that way, the kids couldn't play with Mayal anymore once they grew up. That's why they had to leave, to say goodbye." I say, fixing my hair.

"But that's sad."

"It may be so, but people have to grow. One day, you will have to move on from your house, from your school. When that day comes, you will have to leave your own Mayal behind."

"…I don't get it." I pat his head softly, smiling at him.

"That's okay. When you're older, try reading this book again and see what you think of it then."

It is a very nice piece of advice. Someday, he will have to move on. All of us have to.

Leaving our innocence behind, marching on without looking back. It isn't rare for someone to wish that happiness to last forevermore. Even if one's childhood could be extended to eternity, even if that wish could be somehow fulfilled, it would only be a matter of time before reality wakes you up from it. Holding tightly onto it, refusing to let go… it will only chain you down.

No one can mature without losing something. And trying to avoid that loss or to reclaim it, trying to extend that eternity you so desperately wish to never end, will never lead you to a good fate.

All of us had a Mayal that we had to abandon, some earlier than others. As a member of the nobility, my family's warmth was quickly replaced by the fierce competition to see whether we were worthy of inheriting the rank of Tozama. Takeru-kun will also someday have to leave his own Mayal behind and accept that part of his life has come to an end. This shimmering time called childhood is precious because it is short, we can't live forever in it. And the same can be said for all stages of life. One day, he will have to leave his parents behind to live his own life, whether it is by choice or by fate.

"I still think it's cruel. Why can't they send a letter to the fairy?" He's still pouting, resting his chin on both of his palms.

"Sometimes you'll be far away from your own Mayal. It's not like they didn't like her, but they had to leave."

"…That's sad for the fairy."

I guess… if you're the one getting left behind, it is sad. In a way, it is the same for our own endeavors. Those left behind by the world… must live their days in agony.

"But they could say goodbye. So, the fairy won't be so lonely now that she remembers. What would you do if there was a fairy here, Takeru-kun?"

"I wouldn't leave, it would be cruel."

"But what if your parents leave without you?"

"I'd convince them to not leave." He retorts quickly, puffing his cheeks.

"And if you can't? What if your family has to move elsewhere due to your father's job with the other samurai rangers?"

"Then… Then I'll send letters!"

"She's a fairy, Takeru-kun. The mailman won't give her letters, and you might have to go somewhere far, far away where letters wouldn't reach here."

"…That's cruel. You're so cruel, Mami-san." I hadn't noticed it, but he was slightly shaking.

"Sorry… But all of us had to go through something like this. Sometimes, all you can do is say goodbye."

He remained sulking in silence, I suppose that he's too young to understand. Once he grows, I'm sure he'll realize how dear the teaching of this book is.

We finished packing what was left of his belongings, the rest were also finished with their tasks. Being already late into the afternoon, Kurosawa-sama dismissed them, asking me to remain behind with him.

He ordered some food and we ate as we waited for his parents to come back, watching kids shows. Before the clock hit the 1800 hours mark, the sound of the door spurred the little one's feet to action.

"Mom! Welcome back." He threw himself towards the woman.

A petite, slim, and… very pale looking woman, with her hair in the same color as Takeru-kun's done in a hairbun. She looks very weak… Frail as paper, might I say.

"Hello, Takeru. Have you been good?"

"Yes. How are you? Does it still hurts?" The boy rubbed his mother's stomach softly in circles, she giggled at his worry.

"I'm fine, don't worry. Oh, Kurosawa-san… Thank you for your help." The woman bowed to us, Kurosawa-sama smiled wryly at her.

"Miho-san, I told you Koetsu was fine. So, I ordered some food already. Serve yourself something."

"You didn't have to, Koetsu." Shirogane says, scratching his head and lowering his gaze.

"Don't give me that. Kobayashi, help me warm the food."

"Yes, sir."

We spent some more time with them. The woman couldn't eat much due to her medical prescriptions, but she still showed much thankfulness towards us. They're truly warm people, despite the males' manners. Shirogane apologized to me time and again about this turn of events, with Kurosawa-sama telling him to stop repeatedly. He doesn't seem to be as bad as the rumors portrayed him to be, and he also doesn't seem to be trying to take advantage of Kurosawa-sama.

After chatting for a moment, Kurosawa-sama decided it was time for us to leave and contacted our men to rendezvous where we had left our rides.

"Well, I hope life in Hiiragi can be better for you two. And, if you need anything, my phone is always open." He said with a small smile towards the Shirogane. Kurosawa-sama, I am the one who has to deal with phone calls. Don't make this harder please.

"No, we can't keep bothering you for everything…" The woman said, smiling weakly. "Kobayashi-san, thanks again for your help and for keeping Takeru company."

"No, it was nothing."

"Mami-san…" The little one came up to me, offering me his hand. "I'll try to find a book you might like."

"Yes, I will too." I shake his hand slowly. "Well then, goodbye Takeru-kun."

"No." He pouted.

"Huh?"

"I don't like goodbyes. So it's see you later, because we'll see each other again. See you later, Mami-san." He shook my hand with more vigor than me, smiling widely.

"I see… Yes, see you later Takeru-kun."

"Yeah!" His smile flourished, a sunrise in his eyes.

"Be a good boy for your mother, Takeru." Kurosawa-sama crouched down and hugged the boy tightly. "I'll see if we can make some time to go visit you for your birthday. If I can't, I'll send you something nice instead. So be a good boy and don't fight with any other kids, okay?"

"…But the others are all bad."

"Haha… Just do your best, yes?"

"Yes… See you later, Uncle Koetsu." The boy strengthened his hug, they remained like that for a short while, and then Kurosawa-sama patted his head and stood up.

"Well, I gotta go. Kageyuki, we'll see each other eventually in the halls. Tell Takahisa-sama to stop sending trouble my way, if you can." He laughs, folding his arms while Shirogane sighs.

"I doubt it'd be possible to convince him of anything once he gets an idea in his head." How can he speak so casually of Koubuin-sama? There is not an ounce of tension in Shirogane's posture. "Thanks a lot, Koetsu. I'll repay all these favors someday, I swear."

"There's no need. Now then, stay safe. And you know, if you need me… All you gotta do is call." He shares a handshake with Shirogane, I bow towards them, and then we leave towards our ride.

After checking the elevator, and later the lower hallway, was safe, we made it to the street, and we walked to our limo as I kept watch around us. Our men were all rested after getting their free time, so we took no time to depart.

"So, do you still think the same about Kageyuki, Kobayashi?" Kurosawa-sama asked, looking out the window as the limo started to move.

"No, it seems the rumors were baseless." Even if he is less respectful than I would prefer. A surprise, to be sure. "I do wonder how should I deal with these letters you asked me to write." Takeru-kun is a young child, I will need to mind my wording and prose.

"Hahaha… Well, just do what you can. Remember to make an effort to see his point of view too."

"Kurosawa-sama, if I may… Why are you so insistent on aiding the Shirogane? From their words, it seems you've been helping them much."

"I told you already. Kageyuki helped me greatly when we were younger."

"That cannot be the only reason. I am sure you know what will be said about you if word of this gets out." And not only about your honor. Others might go as far as claim that you have other… interests in play, considering how you're delaying your marriage.

"Well… Can you keep a secret?" He closed his eyes, resting his head on the seat.

"…What kind of secret? If it's something I should report then-"

"It isn't, calm down. It's a personal matter, something that's been on my mind for a long time." He runs a hand over his face, letting the exhaustion he managed to hide seep away. His eyes dropping like trees to an axe, his tone weary like a traveler in the desert.

"Fine, I can promise you I won't speak of it in that case. What is troubling you, Kurosawa-sama?"

"I want to break my engagement."

"Huh?! But… But your fiancee is from a Shinpan House! Your standing would suffer-"

"Rank isn't everything, Kobayashi."

"…Then, why did you accept in the first place?" I don't know what kind of woman your fiancee is, but making such a vow isn't something to take lightly. I don't think he's the type to play with a woman's heart, however…

"I didn't. My father gave her my hand without my consent. For the longest time, I thought that I had no choice but to do what my father told me to, to follow the path that was expected of me… But, thanks to Kageyuki, I can now see the light. I don't want to marry that woman."

"…And what did Shirogane do for you?"

"He just did what he thought was right, and his acts showed me I had another choice available to me. Seeing him sacrifice so much of his own life, all to tend to the ones he loves…"

He looks out the window, his tone growing hoarse, almost regretful.

"His parents disowned him, he got conscripted into the IJA, then joined the Guard, and now Kageyuki spends so much time away for them while he sends them most of his pay so that Miho-san can take care of her health instead of being forced to work. All that sacrifice, all of it is for his family. All for his love. That's why I want to support him, because he taught me it isn't a crime to follow your heart." He inhales deeply, entwining his fingers. "So… I decided to break off my engagement, and then I'll see if the woman I love still thinks me worthy of her affection."

"…I see. I… don't know what to say. My parents are also planning an arranged marriage for me. Being nobles, we should put our own interests to a side in favor of our house's one. However, if you wish to do this so strongly… I doubt your chosen one will reject you."

"Haha… I hope you're right."

"Why were you scared of doing so, if I may ask? I know hostility might brew between your houses, but who are you after Kurosawa-sama?"

"…Someone of common birth. I'm sure you know that I tend to look her way in our office much, since you scold me all the time when I do. I suppose you can see why I'm still shaking in my boots at the consequences."

I shivered at the words. Rejecting a member of the Shinpan, those who serve directly under the Regent Houses and the Shogun as our red guards, for a peasant… I doubt this will be taken well by whoever his fiancee is. It's as if one were to spit directly in their faces after drinking sake, it's tantamount to throwing mud towards the name of their house. To be chosen to marry someone of the Shinpan and discard her for a peasant… Kurosawa-sama's standing will be jeopardized, some might even push to lower his rank as well. …Or to remove him from the Royal Guard altogether.

"Keep it a secret for now. We have more pressing matters to attend after all. By the way, did we receive any reports?" He hunches over, looking forward.

"Yes, it seems your design of the elbow joints for the Eagle was the most well received overall." I say after looking at my PDA.

"That's good to hear. Sigh… I wonder how much time will take us to finish working on this frame…" He relaxes again, stretching his legs as he folds his arms.

"I understand the need to make our first TSF a machine up to the standards of the 3rd Gen., but are the requirements so steep, sir?"

"Yes, after all we'll have to rely on this frame for a good two decades, if not more." His tone grew slower and slower, weary as a dry leaf. "And we already have trouble brewing, what with Takahisa-sama and the other heads wanting to request a project to make a different TSF for the Royal Guard instead of sharing models with the IJA."

"Is that so? Oh, is that the reason behind our collaboration with the IJA for the Kagerou's joints?

"Indeed. The Royal Guard is evaluating making an enhancement at large of the frame, or the F-16, to base the successor of the Zuikaku on it."

"However, wouldn't it be for the best if we used our domestic frame for it, sir?" He sighs, truly heavily, while I curve a brow at his reaction.

"It would, but the IJA has kept the project under wraps for too long, and it has been delayed many times already. The TSF resulting from the Youkou Project has to be able to fulfill all roles we might need it for, so testing is, and will likely continue, to be hell until a working prototype that satisfies all parties involved is presented. And that's not even delving into the new OS it will need, we can't just expect to use this frame with our current system. It's getting delayed more times than I could count with my hands, so it also needs to be worthy of the time we spent on it. However, because of said setbacks, some within the high echelons of the Guard are casting doubts towards the results the project could bestow us."

Going by his low tone… I suppose that there are other matters revolving in this choice. Perhaps because of ill blood between the Guard and the private industries making this domestic frame?

"I understand, sir. Let me remind you that there is a meeting scheduled for-"

"Kobayashi, please let me rest until we arrive home." He briefly covered his eyes with a hand, letting a long, heavy sigh out. "So, what did you think of little Takeru?" He recovered his good spirits in a matter of seconds. I suppose there will be another time to discuss this subject.

"He was quirky, but too rude for his own good."

"Yes, that is true sadly. But it was good to see he's still fine despite everything." He smiled softly, curving his eyes with a glow in them reflecting affection I've almost never seen in him.

"…Do you like kids, Kurosawa-sama?"

"Yes, he is truly funny to be around. I know that we're at war and that I might get in a lot of trouble by breaking my engagement, but I am looking forward to being a parent someday. I hope you can learn to deal with children by then, Kobayashi." He grins at me, resting a cheek on his palm.

"Sigh… I will try, sir." And I will not let them end up as rude as Takeru-kun, and I certainly will not be as lenient as my Father was with you.

Though… It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Looking after your children… It will be an experience to look forward to, and a valuable lesson for when it is my time to give my house some heirs.

In that way, perhaps this book exchange could help me grow in that regard as well. I do wonder what kind of books he would prefer, however.

"Kurosawa-sama, might I ask if you know of Takeru-kun's literary tastes?"

"Hm? Well, he certainly prefers action mangas, with samurais if possible. Also, folk tales seem to entertain him much."

"I see… Perhaps I should instead recommend him something he hasn't learned yet?"

"That would be a good idea, but do keep in mind he is barely six." He smiles, then returns to looking out the window.

Hmm… Something that could interest him, while also bestowing him a teaching as that picture book did. Perhaps something that could polish his manners? In any case, I shall go to the library when I have some free time. Perhaps I should ask Father for advice, considering he knew Shirogane when he was young.

…How a common child sees the future we're building, huh? The mere act of entertaining a thought for this book is enough to bring forth how little I know of our common fellows. Sigh… I shall try to not disappoint. And, for all I know, Takeru-kun might recommend me an interesting book.

Reading the mails on my PDA to later inform Kurosawa-sama of their contents, the sounds of our ride back home became but a pleasant background noise as time went on.