Disclaimer: It's JK Rowlings... I'm jealous, but its all hers. I am just glad we get to play in the wonderland she created!

Return to the Children… who hate…Truths and Admissions of Half-Guilt

The seven had literally scoured the earth looking for them. None slept, they apparated and around the world. Every time they thought they were finished, one of them would think of someone else to talk to. Harry and Mason met with Michael in New York; Hermione met with Piper in San Francisco. Ron met with Buffy and Giles in Sunnydale, Draco met with Faith in Cleveland. Madison waltzed into Angel's office in Los Angeles, much to everyone's irritation; before traveling to meet with Lorne in Las Vegas.

Mason and Katie visited with the family in New Orleans; who contacted the great family in search of the missing couple. Hermione and Ron visited the Brotherhood of the Elders. They visited with every known family member of Rowan, Mason and Madison while on their search. They visited the construction site of the hospital and Hogwarts; Madison and Draco went to St. Mungo's. But the efforts turned up nothing. When finally, they could think of no where else, they all returned to the Potter Estate to regroup. It had taken four days to talk to everyone; four days since Sirius' return from the veil and was taken by their mentor and mother; five if you included the current breakfast.

Harry's feelings were closed; he had shut himself off to everyone, except Madison. Madison's anger had almost subsided into guilt and worry. Draco could not comfort her. Katie seemed lost without the woman she considered her mother. The others, well, they didn't know what to do either. So they waited, read, or played chess. Ron and Hermione slipped away several time to spend time together.

When they were invited to the Cowan Estate for dinner that night, they all agreed readily. When they entered, Rowan sat at the end of the table, holding Remus' hand, the Weasley's (all of them), most of the Staff of Hogwart's, including Hagrid and Dumbledore, and several Aurors; however, they noted, Sirius was not with her. Rowan wore a pair of jeans, long-sleeved light blue button-down top, with Nikes. Her hair was up, as usual, and her make-up was a bit thick, hiding the scars of her past. The look in her eyes was one of fear.

They walked in to the room and sat at their usual seats. Harry glared at the woman, but said nothing. Madison was torn between wanting to hug her mother or yell at her again; she chose to do neither. Katie did though, she rushed past Rowan's guards and hugged her tightly, whispering love and of how much she missed her. Mason waited until the embrace broke before taking his mother in his arms and apologizing to her. She held back tears before he released her, sitting back down and blowing her nose.

Harry watched the exchange with narrowed eyes. He was so absorbed watching Rowan that he did not hear the floor creak behind him. Finally, he could take it no longer. "Where in Merlin's name is he?"

"Who?" The bark like voice asked from behind him. Harry rose, knocking his chair over in the process, and looked into the face of his God-Father.

"Sirius? Is it really you?" Sirius opened his arms in answer and the nineteen year old man ran to him. Madison had risen from her seat, staring at the man who was her father. She looked once from him to her mother and saw Rowan's tears flowing freely.

Only when Harry released him, did he look to the younger woman, "Madison?" He opened his arms and once again felt the crushing hug from a child who loved him. He cried as hard as she did and held on to her. When she stumbled out of his embrace, she did so into Draco's waiting arms, Mason approached him.

Mason Allen Cowan Black was taller and wider than the man he knew was his father. But the eyes were so familiar. Mason raised his right hand to shake the man's hand; it was slapped away as he was pulled into a bear like hug. Mason could not believe that this man could still have tears left for him as they stood in one another's arms.

He heard his father's voice for the first time, when he muttered "Mason…. Merlin… it's you… Mason….my… son…," in the younger man's ear. Watching the exchange, Rowan broke down completely and was comforted by Remus. It was some time before any semblance of calm was restored to the room. Rowan finally stopped crying.

The party went well into the night. Rowan watched as the man she loved interacting with the children they had brought into the world together, but she had reared on her own. Sirius had fallen in love with them when they were babies, and she could tell that they loved him as well. He made his way around the table, taking time to speak with each of them.

Leaning into Remus, she whispered her goodbye as she excused herself quietly and tried to leave the room unnoticed. Sirius, however involved with the conversation at hand, had kept her in sight; assuming that Harry would start yelling at her at some point.

Remus nodded once, stood and pulled her chair as she rose to leave, the conversation between him and Ron stopped. Rowan leaned over and once again whispered something in Remus' ear. Sirius watched the exchange with a raised eyebrow. He watched as she walked quietly toward the doors.

He rose as she passed him, holding her hand for a moment before releasing it to leave. He smiled to her, whispering the words he could never say enough, "I Love you…" She blushed, saying something about a 'little headache' and wanting to leave; but assuring him that he could come when he was ready. He stood and said his goodbyes to everyone and left with her.

He could think of a better remedy for a headache than a visit to the healers' potion cabinet and would not lose any opportunity to be with her.

Remus realized immediately that Sirius' message to every person in that room was that he did, in fact, love his wife and she was more important than any of them. Albus realized that declaration as well and turned to meet eyes with Remus. The dancing twinkle behind the half-moon spectacles revealed all that was needed to know. Soon after their departure, the party wound down and everyone else went home as well.

When they entered their room at the Estate, he was still holding her hand. "I'm sorry Siri; the headache really isn't that bad. I'll be fine… you could have stayed with them. They all need to talk to you." She said.

"I told you that I wanted you to tell me everything. It's time now to do it." Their eyes met. "No more tears… deal with it. You know, I heard Harry yell at you tonight. I watched Madison and Harry glare at you. They need an attitude adjustment, as your dad used to say." She laughed with him.

Hugging him again, she just stood feeing safe. After a few moments, she pulled back enough to kiss him. "Thank you…" He cocked his head to the side in question and waited for her to continue, but instead, she walked away from his embrace and walked into the loo. When she returned, she was in her pajamas and tank top.

She looked at him, deciding that now was just not right. She suggested he go back and talk to the kids. He said he would in the morning. When he returned from his shower, she was already in a deep sleep. He considered waking her; but chose to put it off and just hold her again for the night.

The following morning, he woke early, showered, and left her to sleep alone. He went back to Harry's house, hoping to catch some of them for breakfast. The house elf showed him in to the dining room. Harry was the first one down. "Hello Harry. I thought you might want to talk to me alone for a bit. You didn't seem exactly friendly with Rowan last night."

"Oh? I'm surprised you could pull yourself away from her to notice?" Sirius watched the young man, but decided to let him continue without interruption. Harry was spoiling for a fight, but it seemed his godfather would not be pulled in so easily. "No really, we brought you out of the veil. But you couldn't be bothered with talking to us, now could you?"

"Rowan was the one that pulled my hand until I could get out, if I remember correctly. I believe I fell on her, not you."

"It was our magic that made the veil release you. You don't know what it was like… I watched you fall in the Ministry. I have never gotten over losing you. She knew we could bring you out when I talked to her about it. We didn't have to go to Texas without you. She could have told us sooner and you could have gone with us." Sirius shook his head. Harry ignored him. "All this time, I've been a…orphan. The Weasley's took me in, and Rowan was something of a godmother for awhile, I mean, before she lost her mind of course, but nothing like you were supposed to be. She knew how much I missed you. But she didn't say anything… she left…you…there. Why did she do that?"

'Lost her mind?' he thought silently, decided it was a metaphor and ignored it, "Because… well honestly, I have no idea. I thought maybe you would like to tell me. Why are you so angry with her?"

"YOU should be angry with her. She left you in Azkaban. She ran away, took your children, and abandoned me and Neville, forgot her life with you; forgot my parents. She…left…me; just like you did." He choked on the words. He had never spoken them a loud before. "You left me… why did you leave me? Just when I got you back, you left me… I was so alone. No one understood. I had no one."

Sirius watched the younger man spiral into tears while he was talking; waiting until Harry had regained his composure before speaking. "What she did with and to me is between us. It has nothing to do with you or even our children. You have Ron and Hermione. Ginny at some point too. Don't forget Molly and Arthur, Remus and Dumbledore. They loved you. You knew them longer and better than you did me. Why are you so concerned that I left you?"

"None of them offered me a home." Harry's words were quiet and his eyes were full of tears. "No one wanted me. You did. You were the only one who ever offered me a home away from the Dursley's." Sirius met his gaze, dawning comprehension flew between them.

"And you think that because of that simple offer during the end of your third year of school, that they love you less than I do?" Harry nodded. "Harry, you are still using your brain as though it was in a thirteen year old boy. You're a man now, use it properly. Look at the facts: Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Molly, Arthur, and Remus, would have laid down their lives for you. Since I left you, your friendship with them grew to something we were never given the opportunity to have. You know Rowan better than you know me. Hell, you know Crookshanks better than you do me; because I wasn't there. And, for what it's worth, I am sorry. I'm sorry that fate or destiny or some prophesy kept us apart. The choices we made were the ones that seemed right at the time. I don't blame you for being a child and hating her for her choices. But what you don't seem to get is…"

He was interrupted by the other teenagers standing at the open door, listening to Sirius' explanation. Sirius stopped talking and beckoned them in. After a few moments of getting everyone settled, he continued. "Look, I know you all are angry with Rowan for keeping me away from you. Maybe you may even have a right to be. All I know is what I knew before, she hasn't told me anything. I know that almost twenty years ago, Rowan ran from England because my insane mother followed her around and tried to kill her on numerous occasions," he pointed toward Mason and Madison, "My dear mother tried to have you two kidnapped so often, that Rowan would not sleep unless she could touch you both. Imagine trying to sleep knowing that someone was trying to kill you and take your children from your cold hands. Hard huh?

"After Azkaban, Remus explained to me that she watched me try to kill Pettigrew; only trusting the Longbottom's to take care of you two while she searched for me. She watched the scene and thought I had killed one of our oldest friends. She left England because I was in Azkaban. She said goodbye; I knew she was leaving. I also knew I could do nothing to stop her, so I didn't. I did not try to stop her. You are all angry with her because she left me in the veil for an extra year. So what? I didn't have any concept of time in there. It didn't pass for me."

Madison interrupted. "But she didn't know that."

"STOP," his bark like voice filling the room, "all of you. I don't have a clue as to why you are pissed off at her. I do not understand what she has done that was so bad that you are acting this way. You can explain it me or shut up about it. She is afraid of you lot."

Katie seemed shocked. "She was afraid of them; her own children?"

"Yes dear, she was. Still is, if the truth be known. That's why she had so many people here last night; to protect her when they got mad. She was afraid of what you were capable of. And knowing that she had made you all very angry with her in the first place, well… let's just say she was covering her ass. I left her asleep to come talk to you and see if maybe we could work out a peace treaty of some kind."

Ginny snorted. "She kept you away from us for five days. She took you without word to any of us. No one could find her."

"Ahh, yes, well, that would be because she put a Fidelas Charm on the house, with a secondary charm to give you ideas as to where else you might look if any of you approached the house." Madison and Mason both rolled their eyes as neither had thought of it. He laughed his bark-like laugh at the look on their faces, "I thought it was rather ingenious. She was the secret keeper, so there was no one else to trust. She did let Poppy, Albus, and Remus in on it afterwards though; Poppy came in a few minutes after we arrived and treated my wounds from the battle in the ministry. Of course, then Poppy drugged me and we slept the entire time. When we both woke, we went to see Dumbledore."

"She could have told us where you were."

"We were asleep," he said, "maybe you would have tried to take me from her, to tell me what a terrible person she has been? Maybe just be sure that I hate her as much as you all seem to?" His words hurt them. They knew he was right. No one would meet his gaze. "Tell me children, and don't correct that, because right now, you are acting like four-year olds that didn't get the toy they wanted."

Ginny stood up. Looking at the man they all loved and missed. "You… how dare you call us children? We have learned more, done more, seen more… than you ever will…"

"And I don't give a shite Ginny." He shouted back at her. "HOW DARE I WHAT GINNY?" She said nothing as he regained control of his temper, "How dare I love the woman I married and betrayed? She didn't tell me what happened while I was gone. She knew you lot would jump at the chance to tell me everything and make me hate her. But I came anyway."

"How dare you choose her over us," Harry said; the words weak and low, filled more with pain and regret than anything else, "How dare we; me, Mason and Madison, not be more important that she is to you."

"I love her Harry. Merlin forgive me for not thinking of you first; or of the children that carry my blood. I love her. I was bound to her the first time I ever looked into her big brown eyes; the first time I hit Severus Snape for helping her with potions homework - while he was tutoring her. I loved her then. I love her now. It won't be any of you that I am blessed enough to grow old with. It will be her."

Turning to face Harry directly, he asked, "Can you honestly say you would choose me over Ginny?" He turned to Madison, "or Draco?" He turned to Mason, "or Katie?" He looked around the room, "If you said you would, you don't deserve any of the love you share with them."

Madison was unable to keep her mouth shut, "Where is she anyway?"

"She's still in bed…"

"Alone or with Remus?" The look on Madison's face showed her months of being with Draco, it was a true Malfoy smirk.

He turned his head so fast his neck popped loudly at the question, with narrowed eyes, he asked, "What do you mean?"

"Oh… so she didn't tell you about her affair with Remus?" he shook his head, waiting for her to continue, "or about the fact that she had two lovers?"

He shook his head, and resisted the urge to throw a rather large crystal vase of water that was sitting on the table to stop his daughter from talking, instead he looked at her while she was still talking, "She took them both into her bed. She knew where you were and she wasn't faithful. From what I can tell, she has never been faithful to you."

His eyes narrowed, "Never?" She nodded. The others looked at one another before he managed to speak again, "What, exactly, are you implying?"

"Well, it's like this… you are not my biological father." She was almost smug when she saw the pain cross his face. She waited just long enough for the words to sink in before continuing, she was so intent on Sirius that she did not notice Draco's face drop with the revelation of the information. Nor did she notice the pain in her brother's eyes when he realized what she said and the anger she was causing Sirius. She continued, "While you were holed up with her, Draco and I talked. The year we spent at Hogwart's… Draco asked her about the fact that we were second cousins… MOM assured him when we were in school here that it was fine for him to fall in love with me. So, I decided to find out how it is that my second cousin would be encouraged to fall in love with me."

"Second cousins are legal to marry in the Wizarding World, Madison." Sirius said sharply.

She ignored the statement, "Well, I went to St. Mungo's and procured a sample of yours and mom's blood, did a little 'geneious' test, and wow… found out that I don't carry the Black bloodline at all. I am hers if it helps, but not yours."

He was genuinely shocked. He could not speak if he had to at that moment. It seemed the others found their tongues as tied as Sirius. "I have no idea who my father is - only that it is NOT you. So don't tell me that I owe you any type of understanding or explanation. If it means anything to you, we didn't meet Remus or Severus until after we came to England two years ago. So maybe she wasn't sleeping with them the whole time you were together…" And with a last look at her brother, she left the room. Draco did not follow her or say anything, knowing that whatever was about to happen, it would be big.

It took a few minutes for Sirius to recover before leaving to talk to his wife.