Disclaimer: It's JK Rowlings... I'm jealous, but its all hers. I am just glad we get to play in the wonderland she created!
Pieces of the Puzzle...
Sirius entered their bedroom. She watched from behind the Daily Prophet as he paced without words. Finally, she put her paper down and said, "Siri, what happened?"
He glared at her, "Who is Madison's father?"
"You."
"No… take two… no more lies Rowan, who is her biological father?" He watched her face.
She had no idea what he was talking about. "Sirius Black...You are her father… I was faithful to you while you were gone. You know that."
"Apparently, genealogy tests have proven differently."
She took a moment to calm her voice before she asked, "Would you stop assuming I understand? Tell me what you are on about."
He told her of the conversation with Madison just a few minutes before. When he finished, he said, "I want to know… Who. He. Is."
It took many minutes of thinking about everything he had said and her old memories before speaking, "I…" she paused to think for a few minutes, he growled at the delay. Her eyes wide, she looked at her husband, "Oh no… but it's not possible… it was a… dream…" she stared wildly around the room, going back over her memories. "Oh no… Siri… I swear… I didn't know…" He said nothing; standing with his arms crossed waiting for her to speak again, "we… Oh God… we need to get Remus here."
He crossed the room quickly, grabbing her arms; he drew her up from the bed, the coffee spilling, and the paper flying as he shook her, "What does Remus have to do with this?" She was too shocked to speak at the way he held her, "TELL ME!" He shook her again.
The air crackled around her, "Let me go," he dropped her when he felt the electricity leave her body.
Still angry, he told her, "Get dressed; I will meet you in the dining room with our son, Remus and our daughter in a ten minutes. I expect explanations. Do not be late." She watched him walk out the door and thought for a moment of not joining him at all.
She entered the dining room fifteen minutes later. Madison, Draco, Sirius, Mason, Katie, and Remus were already waiting for her. Draco, Narcissa and Lucius entered shortly after she did. She looked to the family in front of her, not knowing where to start. All eyes were on her. Rowan looked from Remus to Sirius. "Forgive me," she waited a moment more, she began pacing, as was usual when she was saying something that was hard. It also made it easier to run from the room should the occasion rise. "I don't suppose that I could have this conversation with just Sirius, Remus and Madison, could I?" No one made a move. She shrugged before continuing, "Okay, so... Madison told Siri that he is not her father; something about a genealogy test…first of all, why didn't you talk to me about it?"
Madison looked at her through narrowed eyes, "Could be because I have not had time… or it could be because I couldn't find you... or it could be because I assumed you knew."
"Madison, I did not know."
"How could you NOT know who my biological father is? All my life, Sirius Black, Police officer died in the line of duty when I was a baby, was my father. You could have told me -- without me having to put it all together. God mother, how could you continue to lie to me now?"
Rowan looked at her, "I know it must sound insane, even after everything we learned in the past two years. But I promise you, I did NOT know…" she turned to Remus, but was interrupted by Madison.
"As long as you were fucking both Severus and Remus, the least you could do it to tell us the truth…"
"Shut up Madison…" Both Remus and Rowan said it at exactly the same time. Sirius did not miss the exchange. He could feel his anger drip from him as he saw Remus defend Rowan.
Rowan waited a moment to see if perhaps her lover would continue, but he sat back down and looked into her eyes, silently begging her to continue. "If you want an explanation, shut your mouth now, or I leave." She waited for someone, anyone, to say something. Hoping that there would be an out for her; but no one did. "Look, all I can think of is a dream I had when Mason was a baby." She paced as she thought talking out loud. "Remus, remember when Mason was a baby and got so sick? Siri had just gone to Auror basic with James and Frank?" He nodded.
Sirius' eyes were slits as he watched the exchange. "In late October of '89, when you were gone, Mason came down with… something. The healers were never sure of what to call it exactly. He was in the hospital for weeks. Lily had Harry, and Alice had Neville, and I had… well, Remus. He stayed at the hospital with me. Mason was so sick. The healers weren't sure he would survive. If I had called you home, you would have had to redo the entire basic training." She said when she saw his mouth open to ask. "So I didn't tell you."
"Pretty fucking selfish of you, don't you think?" Madison said savagely.
Lucius was impressed with the tone she used, "You know, with that type of hatred Madison, you would have made a fine death eater." He crossed his arms, hoping that his words would sink in. No one acknowledged him. Sirius was so intent on his wife's words, he hadn't even noticed that Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy had entered the room.
"Anyway, when he was finally released, it was mid-November. He had a horrible schedule. Remus asked if I needed any help. I refused, of course, being the superwoman I am, and he left. It was right before the lunar cycle, so he wouldn't have been much use anyway." Remus nodded. "When he got back, he came to the house. I was a mess. Mason had to be held fifteen minutes every hour, take two or three potions at different times, and fed special formulas at special times. It was a nightmare. Remus comes back to find me in the nursery rocking chair, near hysterics. I was afraid to leave him alone, but the healers told me not to let him sleep with me either. Mason's treatment was horrible..." she paused, deep in her memories, "Remus comes in, takes Mason, tells me he will look after him and I was to rest for a few hours. And I did. Almost twelve hours of uninterrupted sleep." Her words tumbled out in fast short spurts.
"Of course, it was his turn to be exhausted. So we kind of just switched off. He would watch Mason for a few hours, and then I would. It was so hard. Finally after weeks of this, the Healer visit said Mason was going to be okay. He hadn't had a relapse, and honestly wasn't expected to. It was now December lunar cycle, and Remus left again for three days.
"When he returned, Mason was walking." Remus smiled at the memory. "He was WALKING at barely six months old. His teeth were coming in too. Something about the illness and the potions made him mature faster than he would have otherwise, which also made him very, very hard to keep up with." She took a drink from her now cold coffee. "Anyway, long story short was I couldn't handle him. He loved being able to walk and climb after so many months of laying there made it so very difficult to deal with. I didn't sleep. I guess it was obvious, because Remus moved into the spare bedroom and helped. One evening, Remus went to bed early, I put Mason down for the night and went to bed. Mason crawled out of the crib and proceeded to fall down the stairs. Remus and I both heard him and ran to save him; neither one of us thinking about the cushioning charms that would keep him from getting hurt. So, finally we got him back to bed. I passed out or fell asleep, who knows which. But I fell against Remus. He picked me up, put me in bed, but apparently I did not let go. Knowing that he would never betray you, Sirius, he just held me. When I woke the next morning, I was sure it had been a dream. But it had seemed so real. I could feel him… well, details aside; I chalked up the night to a dream and didn't tell anyone."
Remus' eyes were wide, "I always thought that was a dream," he said quietly
"So did I, Remus. But I didn't talk to you about it again until last year. But if I remember correctly, you didn't stay in the same room with me again either, did you?" He shook his head. "Anyway, that was mid-December. You were due home at the end of January. I didn't find out I was pregnant until that April, chalking the morning sickness to my being exhausted. Madison was born that September: A healthy seven-pound eleven ounce, twenty-two inch long baby. It never occurred to me that she wasn't yours." Sirius sat back against his chair. "I was sick after she was born, remember? That's when we decided not to have any more children. It was too hard on my body." Sirius nodded as did Remus.
"Six weeks after Madison was born, Lily and James were killed. You went around the bend. Your mother was on the hunt for us and I went into hiding. The last time we saw you was about eight hours before we left England."
"So it's MY fault you fucked my best friend?"
"No, Siri, I don't blame you for any of it…"
"Don't you think you should have told me?" His voice was low and harsh; his tone was cutting her heart out as she heard it.
Taking a moment, she composed her thoughts before looking at him again, "About what; my erotic dream about one of your best friends? That would not have set well with you. But for me, that's all it was. A DREAM…"
"Rowan, that's enough." Remus spoke to her. "Don't antagonize this anymore than you have." She snapped her head to him; looking back at Sirius, she took a deep breath and apologized. Turning to Madison, he asked, "Are you sure?"
"Remus, the only thing I am sure of is that he is not my biological father." Madison said, "I have no idea if it's you. For all I know, maybe Severus is." Sirius growled at the thought, "But I can find out with a simple test."
He nodded before sitting back for a moment, "This is really overwhelming for everyone, me included. Let's take a bit of a break and try to absorb everything you have told us so far, shall we?"
Ten minutes later, Madison and Mason returned from St. Mungo's with the proper testing equipment. Two minutes after that, Rowan, Remus, Sirius, and Madison's blood drops were on the parchment. The proper incantations were muttered by Madison, and they watched as the tendrils of blood reached out to touch one another. Madison's blood reached out to Remus and Rowan.
Sirius watched as the young woman was revealed not to be his. He stood quietly and left the room; Remus followed. As the door leading outside shut, Remus shouted "SIRIUS WAIT!" He caught up to him with much effort. Remus was lucky Sirius did not apparate away. But the man seemed too angry to be able to have avoided splinching himself. Remus taking a deep breath said "Padfoot, talk to me."
"Go away. Now is NOT the time to do this."
He grabbed his arm, turning him around to face him. "Sirius… I know you're angry and hurt but talk to me."
"And say what? Thank you for being a good enough friend to father a child that I thought was mine for the last twenty years? Or for fucking my wife the entire time I was with her? Tell me what I am supposed to talk to you about or thank you for exactly?"
Remus was shocked by the harsh words. "Sirius… slow down… we need to talk at some point, but right now, your wife…has just… Damnit, you were there, anyone who wasn't mad at her before is now, again. She just told her daughter, who is barely speaking to her, that she cheated on you - with me - while you were away in Auror training. You need to talk to her."
"When I can look at her again, I'll be back…"
"I'll take care of her until then…"
Sirius eyed his friend for a moment before he apparated to Black island.
Remus returned to find that Rowan had also left after a loud fight with Madison. Mason was nursing a black eye his sister had given him when he tried to referee the two of them. Remus apologized to everyone for the mess and once again asked that they just cut Rowan a break.
When he left the room, it was to go to the Cowan Estate and find Rowan. During the first night when Remus came to her, she made the decision to go home to Texas. Remus had tried to explain that Sirius was angry at them both, but he would come to his senses and everything would be fine. She should just wait and see. But she simply could not bear to be in Remus' arms any longer with Sirius hurt.
The following morning, she met with Ron, Hermione, Mason and Katie to tell them of her decision. She assured them that if they needed her help, she would be available.
She went directly back to Texas and hid at her parent's home. Leaving only for her morning run untilshe made her decision to continue her counseling and mental healing in order for her to be ready when she would be forced to relive everything with Sirius. Even though Remuswas willing to spend every moment with her, she had made a commitment with Sirius Black and needed to complete that before she made any more mistakes she could not deal with.
During the next few days, Remus would use the time for he and Madison to get to know one another. Madison was still very angry with her mother; and let her new dad know that it was not over; not by any means.
Her counselor asked that Remus and Sirius both attend her sessions. Remus' owl returned with the letter, unable to find Sirius. Remus declined, regretfully as he was needed in England since neither she or Sirius was still there.
Sirius paced around the long abandoned Black Island home. The last time he had been here was on his honeymoon with her. It took almost a month before he decided he needed to know EVERYTHING before he made any more decisions.
He returned to the Cowan Estate and found Molly talking to Arthur early that morning. When he came in, Molly tensed. "Hello Sirius."
"Molly… Arthur… I…" he sat at the table across from them unable to continue.
"She went to Texas." Arthur said.
"Can you just explain to me what happened? Why this is all so hard," he stood and paced for a moment before turning back to them, "please, tell me what happened… to her… with her and Remus… to make all of this so hard… to make the kids feel the way they do about her…"
Molly put her hand on his arm, "Sirius, it's not ours to tell. Let me just say that part of their feelings are justified, some are not. But, there is much more to this story than you realize," he nodded, "Go to her or at the least talk to Remus."
He bristled, "I wouldn't know what to say. All I really know is that whatever happened while I was in the veil, made a lot of difference."
"How about you just go on to Grimmauld Place and talk to Remus. The story needs to be told from one of them. I suggest Rowan though."
"The kids seemed to want to tell me everything."
The red-heads exchanged looks, "The kids don't know everything. They only know what some of what happened to her and it isn't ours to tell.No one ever told them how bad it really was though. Anything they do know was only what happened after she came back…from her ordeal." Sirius did not understand, butMolly continued, "Even Remus only knows parts of it. You will have to talk to them all if you want to find out the whole story. All I can tell you is that those were the longest six months of her life."
Sirius looked confused. "I don't know anything about what happened. Honestly, I just… almost four years I have been gone and it seems like no time passed. I can deal with that, but no one will tell me what happened while I was gone."
"Go to her dear. Find her and talk to her. She will tell you everything. We'll deal with the 'kids' anger." And with that advice, Sirius left the Potter Estate.