Chapter 39: True or False?
November 28th. Near 10 PM.
(Shogun's Private Chamber. Imperial Palace.)
[Yuuhi]
The heavens have bequeathed good fortune to me, for today was light on meetings, and that I could delegate them to my trusted fellows. After all, they would have found me on a most ill mood. The mantle of the Shogun requires me to be a beacon of light and amicability, yet a forceful lightning wouldn't have bestowed me any favors in my duties. Such atmospheres most remain cordial, therefore I could not allow this toxic mire to permeate what words were required of me.
Sighing once we enter my chamber, yet there is still a tint of disquiet in my breathing. The opulence of my room, with such regal decorations and furniture, that are but a grim reminder of the shackles I wear when taking upon the mantle of the Shogun, at least have served me as a haven where I know I am at peace, where no one could intrude on my thoughts, or dare to eavesdrop on my words.
…However, albeit nothing has changed, my fingers cannot stop tracing my neck. As if crows were pecking upon me, as if some manner of rusted iron were oh so very slowly tracing from my nape and down, hewn into my very flesh, nothing I've done today has managed to assuage this foreboding feeling, and the resulting ire it has brought to my heart.
"Your Highness, if I may." Maya tells, returning me to the room, away from the sensation that drowns all else.
Extending my arms upwards while slowly closing my hands, eyes wandering the ceiling, Maya carefully removes the pieces of my formal attire, cradling them onto her arms as she does. My Chamberlain places her fingers on the edges of the golden crown atop my head, taking it off my hair with small, precise movements as habitually. Once she safeguards the ornament, she then rests my night attire on her palm, which descends upon a small table to deposit on it my clothing as a leaf would fall upon a pond.
However, while the habitual routine is something that gives me a respite from my incessant duties, a breath of calmness where I can detach myself from worries, the lethargic pace of it all only manages to distress me further, for I would be wishing to receive news on what is transpiring on Yokohama.
Once Maya has finished her duty, my hand reaches for her arm to stop her from proceeding as usual.
"I can get changed on my own. Maya, please do go request a report from Daizaburou-san and Mana henceforth."
Briefly closing her eyes while tapping her glasses, she swiftly bows down and leaves my formal attire on the Chamberlain's hands, who also proceeds to quickly place it in its place before leaving behind Maya, more do to my own mood than her desire to remain by my side.
Looking to the door to make sure I was left alone, alone in these magenta walls full of opulence, with a glistening wooden floor, I drag my feet through the small changing room and into my private bedroom, but do not stop, instead I keep walking past this unnecessarily large bed of mine and all of its cerulean sheets.
Moving my neck in circles, undoing my ponytail slowly as I move towards the window, gazing at what few stars I can see from beyond the curtains, with every breath one small fraction of this disquiet leaves me. Without any haste, without removing my gaze from the window, I change into my night clothes, then sit on my bed as one hand swims through my hair, some strands caught in between my fingers.
And then, my hand begins to halt its advance as it approaches my neck. Massaging it, parrying the vexing raking with my the tip of fingers, once I sigh what was restrained within I manage to quell the feeling.
I know it is futile to repine about the matter, to continue to ruminate in such way, however, whatever has compelled such silence from both Mana and Daizaburou-san? It has been many days already since their arrival at Yokohama, and besides the preliminary words from Kouzuki, which have not been as pleasing as I once desired, they have yet to report anything. To think their mission would have been stymied, what manner of protection has that faker been bequeathed with?
Resting an ankle just beyond one of my knees as I crossed one leg over the other, feeling my brows beginning to wish to interject, I close my eyes and take in a deep breath as a hand moves to the base of my neck.
"Peace… All shall be dealt with in time. They cannot hide that faker for long."
However… How in the Heavens did that man gain possession of a Minaru Kamui? Mana was much preoccupied when she reported the matter… even going as far as asking me if I was certain of his death. That he knew of the nickname he had given the cousins, that he knew of his favorite food, his birthday, and that the man's expressions were the same as…
Releasing the sheets I was unaware to be clenching, that same foreboding sensation once more ascends yet again to my neck.
"Sigh… I cannot fault her for harboring doubts, however the reality of the matter is that… he's dead. No matter how much knowledge that faker may possess… Takeru died as the G-Bombs fell. In no way could he have survived from that event without me knowing of it. Such a flagrant trickster having deceived Mana…"
It is certainly impossible that anyone has acquired such knowledge. And yet, regardless of knowing of his birthday, of the possibility that the man guessed his favorite dish… How in the Heavens did he learn of the cousins' nickname? Moreover, how could the man ever have taken possession of the blade? I doubt Mana's eyes could be deceived with ease… It is dubious she and Daizaburou-san both had fallen to this deception. What if… if somehow…
No, it is impossible. I was in the vessel that was overseeing the operation, the UN officers that were in it alongside me confirmed there were no signals coming from the location of the blast or its surroundings. I saw the… horror of that black orb that took his life. Taking a moment to exhale, with long steps I return to the window, with a gentle swipe of a few fingers I move aside the curtains, and once more I begin to gaze at the stars.
Could it be that they are being manipulated somehow? Perhaps their thoughts could be being read by the young ESPer that resides in that base, and she then tells such intel to the spy who is passing as Takeru. However, what reasons could compel such manner of plotting? After all, I highly doubt they know who he was. Unless, however, the man's mission is to hinder my relations with the UN. However, I do not see Kouzuki allowing such a person to be on her base.
"Sigh… The more I ponder, the less I understand. However… that does not change the actions that have to be taken from this point forward."
While I cannot merely have the man executed after learning he knows of the importance the Minaru Kamui has and that he somehow gained possession of one beyond my knowledge, and I do not desire to become the recipient of Kouzuki's animosity by forcing an execution of someone from her base, much less with the regretful turn of events that transpired during the cadets' test in the island, there should be a way in which we can apprehend the man while not compromising our relation to the UN.
Yoroi did say the Vice Commander is still an ally of ours, on his opinion, and that the chasers were not acting on her orders. However, he also harbors doubts regarding the unyielding refusal of the woman regarding sending the faker to the Capital, on the excuse of mending the missing data in the databases.
Yet again I am unable to dispel the growing frown that refuses to remain hidden, the mere thought of someone passing as him is bountiful enough to set my ire unfettered. As he would have said, I could almost see the blue fire in the reflection of my eyes shining stronger than the light coming from the lamps that illuminate my privacy.
I look back, he isn't there. And I know that, no matter how much I call his name, he will never come back. Feeling my lower lip folding inwards, placing a hand over my neck, the longing that this emptiness leaves in me, equal to that of a lonely seed in wait for spring as it endures the cold night gale of winter's gate, instead is almost engulfed by the anger of he who dares to trample over his name with this deception.
"Sigh… And yet, if I begin ruminating on this overlong, I shall wind up with a most severe headache."
Rubbing my head in a slow circular motion, my chin lowering in as I remember how he used to pat my head, how carefully and tenderly his hand would descend upon my hair whenever I was troubled and failed to halt my overinsistent trails of thought.
…I miss you, Takeru.
Sitting on my bed again, opening the drawer that was close by so slowly it made no sound at all, I take out the item it had within. Resting its lower tip on top of the drawer, placing some small amount of tension on the tip of my fingers, I spin the toy and lose myself in the colored patterns its surface makes, my mind wandering towards those so distant days that have been lost to me so many moons, so long ago.
When he gave me this toy, my very first present from a friend, when he would come visit with new souvenirs every weekend, when we would get to play together, when he didn't hesitate to hug me… The toy stops spinning, yet I continue swimming in those memories, a cheek slumping onto one of my palms.
When he would complain of me besting him in Shogi… When he still was clumsily learning to wield a blade… When you were still here…
"Yuuhi-sama?"
"Eh?! O-Oh, Tsuhi? Sigh… Why must you never announce your presence when you arrive?" My tone slightly adusted as she broke my reminiscence, I join my hands as I give her a good look.
She then proceeds to bow down almost lethargically, her short dark hair swaying as she does, yet her calm, almost frozen expression remains unchanged, those topaz-colored eyes of her meeting mine with the habitual poise a calm lake would possess. Her gray uniform almost standing out against the walls, her slim figure, almost as tall as I am, remains staring for a moment.
"My apologies. I did not meant to infringe on your privacy, I merely am used to walking silently as the shinobi I am." Speaking as slowly as always, in that usual composed and almost lethargic pace her words take, as if she had just been woken up from a long dream, as if she were still shaking off the husk of a dried cocoon from her wings, she then stood in attention.
"Tsuhi, you are no longer a shinobi. I believe I have made my wishes on the matter clear enough by this point."
"And, as I am sure you are well aware, I am merely following my family's code, and my leader's orders." Narrowing her eyes as she said those last words, I sigh while bracing for what I assume is to come next. "Which begs the question, why have you not notified me of Takeru's situation until today?"
"…Because there is nothing to notify you of, is all. The man is a faker, through and through." Her eyes not relenting, I stand up and take a few steps towards the window. "Now then, I do not recall giving you permission to enter my chamber unannounced." Remaining as composed as she was, she merely nodded to my words.
"Indeed. Maya-sama was called to attend a few matters regarding the patrols, and thus, she tasked me with the delivery of the report to your person, considering the gravity of it."
"Sigh… Fair enough." Tsuhi is one of the last I would have wished to learn of this ploy, however if Maya has decided to rely on her, I too so shall do.
"Well then, should I begin?" Giving me a small bow, a hand on a shoulder, she looked my way.
"By all means."
Turning to face her, she coughed before opening the small folder she had on her, and thus she begins to speak.
"Well, first and foremost, it would seem that the man in question has truly been placed under a most severe punishment." She then details the supposed routine of the man, and how they were unable to pay a visit his cell past dinner time or even approach him at all.
"So they were… impeded to approach the faker?"
"So it would seem. Due to his situation, the man cannot receive visits on his cell without first requesting the permission of the Vice Commander, along the motives for the visit."
So that is what has stymied their progress. If the man has been made to work during most of his time outside of the training course, then there will be few openings in which they could approach him.
"Has Daizaburou-san mentioned anything regarding their plans to unmask this faker?"
"As it were, Daizaburou-sama seems to be holding doubts regarding the identity of this person. During their meeting, it seems-"
"Pardon?"
"Ahem, I said, Daizaburou-sama is not convinced at the moment of-"
"Yes, I heard that well enough. How… How could it be that he is also casting doubts on my words? Whatever does this mean?" First Mana, now him… Just what is causing this?
"Well, according to his report, it would seem his first impression of the man was not what he expected." And yet, she remains composed, twirling a strand of hair as her eyes focus on the report she had. "He thus says, and I quote, 'the man possesses an expression truly reminiscent of our Takeru, with clear traces of the wrath that once took hold of him restrained under a layer of the relaxed nature we knew him to always display before the war'." She takes a moment to catch a breath, curling a strand of hair behind her ear. "And, with all due respect, I am of the opinion that, in light of what the report says, this person might in fact not be a faker at all, Yuuhi-sama."
"…Surely you are not proposing what I believe you are?"
"Well, what would you order if the man was, in fact, Takeru?"
…
"He's dead, Tsuhi. You were on that battlefield as well."
"True that might be, however, I was not allowed to inspect the nearby area of the G-Bomb's explosions. If you recall, we were hard pressed while cooperating with the squadrons from the A-01 STF to halt the American's advance into the Yokohama Hive. Therefore, I cannot deny the possibility that my leader could have survived somehow."
"And I am saying that is impossible."
…
"…Would you wish for me to continue with the report?" She gives a small, curt bow.
"By all means, please do." Closing my eyes and brushing my hair, I face the window.
"Then, it would appear the man has been made into the recipient of many ill rumors, while also receiving low grade synth food as his sole source of nutrition on these passing days. All points to the UN using him as a scapegoat for the… Ahem… misconduct of the chaser squadron."
"Is that so?"
"Indeed. Mana's subordinates have also reported that the man in question has been seen around 1st Lt. Takamura due to some arrangement of said punishment."
"What? Has he… been placed on the railgun project?"
"So I said, Yuuhi-sama." Unable to restrain a small groan, I fold my arms and look away from her furrowing brows. "However, the details of his involvement remain a mystery to our fellows. According to Daizaburou-sama, it would seem the man has been placed as an aide, perhaps. However, since questioning 1st Lt. Takamura might arise suspicions, they have not approached her for the moment."
"…I see." Why would Kouzuki do such a thing? In any case, we also now possess Takamura's eyes to our disposal, if her account ever becomes necessary. "What else is of note? Has the man… showed any hostile signs towards his squadron?"
All matters considered, I shudder to think of what the true goal of the faker could be. Not only for Meiya, but for all the other members of her squad. I will not be able to face my fellows were harm to fall upon their daughters due to my tardy action.
"No, nothing of the sort. The man seems to be fitting in well, better than before the CCSE as far as the report from Mana's team says." Huh? How in the Heavens could that be? "Also, it would seem he has remained in top form during his training sessions, and it appears as if he were employing odd maneuvering at times."
"…Odd in which sense?"
"In Mana-sama's words, those same eccentric sidesteps my leader always preferred to do."
One of my hands began to shake ever so slightly, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, sending that hand to again swim within my hair, the vile is subdued once more. So the faker happens to also share a piloting trait with Takeru, perhaps? In no way could this man know of his training, for Takeru was trained under my House's doctrine and for the spy to possess such knowledge would mean someone has betrayed me, yet no one who knew him would do such a thing. All of his fellows have remained loyal, even if our views differ from time to time. However, why are Mana and Daizaburou-san being deceived by this flagrant deception? I did not think Mana to be this emotional, to fall prey to this sinkhole of lies.
"Anything else of note?"
"There are still a few points of interest." She says, unfazed and completely calm at the situation, which yet again makes my lips pluck. "Mainly, it would seem the man is fond of Meiya-sama, and according to her is also prone to make odd jokes every now and then."
"Oh? So the faker is trying to get close to Meiya? Sigh… How did I not see it?" It is obvious, some American is plotting to gain intel on her background. Perhaps, another Regent is also doing the same for some reason. "Have they decided how to proceed from now on?"
"…No, as it is they are once again asking you if you are certain that-"
"Yes, he's dead. Do tell them to device a plan to ensure the faker is exposed, detained, and brought to my presence, and soon."
"Yuuhi-sama, may I tell you of what Meiya-sama herself said about the man?"
"Hm? Meiya spoke of him? …I suppose, do tell me."
"Ahem… First, the man was insistent on referring to her by name since they met on the night of October 22nd." Huh? Oh, a foreigner it is then. Quite foolhardy, to reveal their trails this easily. "Second, she is certain the man employs the Mugen Kidou as we do."
"…Excuse me?"
"I said the man empl-"
"Yes, I heard well enough. Whatever does this mean?! The Mugen Kidou… to fool Meiya's eyes… What of Mana's observations?"
"In her opinion, the man does indeed fight in our style. Mion reported that, during their bout on the island, his stance and patters do resemble those of Takeru, albeit far less aggressive than she recalls." She then looks my way, awaiting further questions. Yet, those I have couldn't be answered by her.
Did… one of our fellows betray us? I suppose, since Mana confirmed the Minaru Kamui was indeed a real one despite having a dulled edge, one of us has turned traitor. However, all of my trusted confidants still have their blades with them… And his fellows would never denounce their oath to their leader. In which case, from where did this damned faker get hold of the blade, and learn our style as well? Furthermore, how could both Mana and Mion be beguiled with such ease?
"Sigh… Just what trickery is this faker employing, I wonder?" It is so vexing… Inhaling slowly, easing the vice grip my hands were placing on my chest, the toxic trail of thought is stopped before its fueling force surfaced in me.
"Yuuhi-sama, what if they weren't fooled?"
…
"…I believe I was clear enough. Takeru is dead. Stop reiterating the matter." Why do you all doubt me so? Is this their ploy? To make my fellows reticent towards me? Why are they falling so easily to this deception?
"However, the man is also aware of the handguard tradition, it would seem."
"Huh? He… Wait, how do you mean?"
"That the man once mentioned to Meiya-sama that he knew of the meaning behind giving someone the handguard of a blade." She retorts, as composed as always.
"T-That's… No, the spy is knowledgeable on our customs, that's all there is to it."
"She also mentioned how his reactions to the talks of his missing memories seemed honest as well." She retorts, a gentle stroke of a finger on her chin.
"…I said he is dead. Meiya never met Takeru, so she can in no way ascertain whether she met a faker or not." Pushing the curtains aside with a hand, the scorching azure fires that the reflection of mine eyes returned brought me stillness, I had not noticed such an intense scowl had made nest on my face. "…If this is all, do prepare a notice to inform them I wish to hear clear progress on the next report. What has Kouzuki done so far?"
"Remained as stoic as she was. When inquiries were forwarded, she asked our reasons for delving in her special protegee's affairs. Without knowing if you'd favor a confrontation, Daizaburou-sama has remained in wait for now."
"Have them approach the man at some point, to ascertain for who he works. If Kouzuki continues in her refusal to send him to the Capital, I myself shall lead the talks." Little power might I have, yet I won't allow her to tarnish his name, even if she is the leader of the project. She must be aware of who the man truly is. "You may leave, Tsuhi. Thank you kindly for your devotion, as always."
"No, it is nothing. However, there is something I must ask."
"…I am not sending you to Yokohama." Looking back at her, she finally reacted. Lowering her brows and chin, what once could eternally lie found motive to stir back to life, to incite a most searing frown on her face.
"Why would you not? Were you still harboring doubts, I could easily tell if the man is or isn't-"
"Tsuhi, Takeru is dead. What is it with all of you?"
"That is my question, Yuuhi-sama." Still frowning, still adusted and inquisitive.
"Whatever are you talking about?"
"Why do you so vehemently refuse to consider he might be alive?"
"…Because he died. There is no way in which he-"
"Because it would mean you, again, abandoned Takeru, wouldn't it?"
…Clutching the curtains, feeling something within me tearing, something pounding into the back of my head, a myriad of insults and aggravations wished to be released. That same poisoning sensation spawned on my neck, and I did not fight it this time. Yet, licking over my lips, exhaling through my nose, such hampering thoughts were kept in check, for the moment.
"Take those words back this instant."
"Why should I? You did abandon him when Yokohama fell. And, if he had survived, you would have-"
"Takeru has been dead for two years. That is the truth."
"He could have survived, however. In which case, we must take action to bring him back home instead of leaving him in the clutches of the UN."
"He did not. And furthermore, I never abandoned him."
"Then, why were we together under the Chain squadron when we began investigating the affairs that lead to the fall of Mo-"
"Enough!" Rubbing my forehead, gulping as I tried to calm down my breathing, yet failing to restrain those days from returning. It made my ankles shiver as if tickled by feathers, made me again massage my neck to regain some measure of poise. "Sigh… I understand your worry as one of his fellows, however, if he indeed survived Lucifer then, how do you explain his disappearance?"
"I have been trying to tell you what the report says, yet you seem fixated on rejecting the news." Narrowing her eyes, giving me a side glance. "Meiya-sama said the man was sent to Alaska, that he woke up alone and without knowledge of his past. And that, because no one could find anyone related to him, he had to stay abroad."
"That is… nothing but a forged story. In no way could he have left the Empire behind our knowledge."
I was looking at all times, and they explicitly said no signals were left on the area. I was there… when the radar went blank… when that dark orb appeared… I am certain he is dead. Could it be you are also under some drug's hold, Tsuhi? Or, perhaps, are you part of whatever this plot is aiming to do?
"And on the off chance that such a thing happened?" However, she rarely shows such open signs of anger… No lies reflect off her eyes or tone, then, whatever compels this insistence?
"…It is impossible. That is all. Take your leave, now."
"Why do you refuse to consider the chance that he might have survived?" She takes a few steps closer, such a defiant tone bringing an odd sensation to my throat, as if some foul bug was climbing on it. Two fingers choke a strand of my hair as I look away, no longer able to restrain a frown.
"I already explained my reasoning. There is nothing else I require of you. As your Shogun, I order you to leave my chamber, 2nd Lt. Yasomaga."
"…Very well, so I shall do. There is one matter I would wish to remind you of, however."
"And that would be?" And yet again, she frowns my way.
"You may be the current Shogun, however that is not why I serve you, Yuuhi-sama. Please do remember why many of us remain on your side."
Taking a step towards her, our eyes met. She remains composed, yet frowning.
"…Are you insinuating that you are not loyal to me, perchance?"
"I am loyal, because my leader so commanded. Because I still believe in his words, in his fiery fury to protect our people. That belief in your House's teachings is why many are still devoted to you. And if he happened to be alive, I expect you take the necessary steps to ensuring his return to our home, regardless of your own opinions. That is all." She then turns around, as if thinking she could merely leave after such words.
"Halt where you stand. Whatever do you mean? You expect me to… Are you… in league with this faker?"
"…So you truly refuse to admit the possibility that he is still alive."
"Why must you all-" Looking back at me, yet again with a calm expression, she sent a hand to her chin as she stared.
"No, the question here is, why do you refuse to consider that possibility, after both Mana-sama and Daizaburou-sama have both expressed their concerns?"
"…Sigh. Because he has died." Why… Why are all of you so fixated on this matter? What good will it do to us to hold onto such an obviously false hope?
"Isn't it because it would mean you abandoned him, when he was at the verge of death?" A brow twitching as I looked at her, she rose both hands in peace as I took a few steps towards her, as my teeth gritted, as the restrains of my ire were coming unbound.
"…I did no such thing, and he has perished."
"Then, why would you be hesitating, Yuuhi-sama?"
"Huh? I am not-" She takes a step forward, but remains silent. Staring at me, her face relaxing into her usual expression.
"Why did you retreat your petition for the execution, then?"
"…Because the man had a Minaru Kamui, and it had to be investigated how-"
"Order the man to be handed to the Royal Guard for the execution, inquire into the matter with the UN to see how much they know."
"That would still not answer-"
"Yuuhi-sama, when Mana-sama took possession of the blade, all that was left was to capture the man. Had you asked him to be sent to the Guard for the trial, using the deleted databases as a motive for the procedure, the man would already be in our custody. And yet… You hesitated."
"I… am merely minding my power. I do not wish to bring chaos to the scales of this nation. It… would set a most dire precedent. And furthermore, it would raise questions regarding why we were acting in such way. Do remember that his identity must remain concealed, despite his passing."
"…Is that so? However, isn't leaving the man near Meiya-sama far more dangerous?"
"Then, pray tell, whatever would you have done?"
"I already said so. Request his transfer to the Guard for his punishment, interrogate the man here. The UN was in no position to refuse your petition, considering that they wished to hide what transpired during the CCSE. And furthermore, if anyone had dared to look into the matter…" Her brows lower, a small smile forms on her. "We could have easily crushed their fangs."
"…I cannot allow the matter from drawing too much attention, that is all."
"Yet, you sent Daizaburou-sama, Mion, and Shion, while Mana-sama is also present in Yokohama. Could it be that you are struggling to accept the man might truly be Takeru?"
…
"Well, Yuuhi-sama?"
…If he were still alive… if he truly was agonizing back then… and I didn't send a search party… I gag on air, clenching my hands once more as my feet grew unsteady, thinking on what could have been of him. H-However…
I return to the window, to the skies. Betraying my own words, considering the possibility… Hugging my sides, it is not enough to assuage this shiver on me as his hands would have.
"…If, for some odd miracle, Takeru had survived, then I myself will handle this matter. We cannot allow attention be directed to his name. Furthermore, Mana, Mion, and Shion are in Yokohama as of now. If he truly is alive… t-then he is in good hands. However, as I have been saying, in no way that faker could be Takeru."
It is nothing but a faint wish, a pointless expectation. In no way Takeru could still live… but… but if… he was… if such a miracle had occurred…
"…Hehehehe."
Hm? Whatever has caused her to giggle so? How odd, Tsuhi rarely laughs, much less in my presence.
"Why would you be laughing in such a way, Tsuhi?"
"Ah, no, my apologies. I merely found it amusing, how you seem to believe them to be able to quell his anger."
"…I believe that there are few people better suited to pacify him other than-"
"Yuuhi-sama, you have certainly not forgotten those days, have you?" Noticing the slight increase in speed of her tone, the tinge of joy in it, my lips could do little but pluck as I frowned. "If you truly wish to have Takeru back home, then having the man meet with either you or Raiko-sama would be the most effective way to do it." And then, I bit my lips. And knowing what she is implying, every fiber in me came unbound in a synchronized shift towards anger.
"…I am the only one who could assuage his ire. In no way that woman could ever-
"Please, I was one of those who remained with him after Yokohama's fall. I very well know how Raiko-sama tended to his heart after you left it in tatters."
"How dare you… have the gall to utter such lies… I did no such-"
"Please, I am not looking to upset you." She again bowed down to me, now a small smile on her face. "However, please do not feign ignorance towards what you did. And given their relation, I believe remembering their closeness would ail his heart were he to remember those harsh days that followed the fall of Yokohama."
"First, the chances of him being alive are astronomically low. Second, if he were, the Tsukuyomis are fit for the task of looking after Takeru. And third, were he to suffer a shock from recovering lost memories, only I would-"
"Please, Your Highness." She turns around, without even listening to me. "You should know that I was Takeru's right hand on his flight, since I was the one who kept giving you reports on his condition. Which is why I am saying that she is a good choice to handle this situation, since it would be difficult to arrange a meeting between you and the man without drawing unwanted eyes onto us now that you withdrew the execution order. And I am certain of this because she surely knew how our leader fared on those days better than you and me both… I dare say that she know every inch of him, in fact."
"Silence! How dare you-" Without even waiting, she bows down and goes to the door.
"I suppose this shall be all. Good night, Yuuhi-sama."
"Do you not be thinking yourself capable of merely taking your leave after uttering such-"
"Then, why was he drowning in tears after you left Hakuryo Base?" Back to the frown, she stared at me. Saying nothing, awaiting my reply.
…
I am not proud of what I did. I was… prey of stress and fear. Amidst the pressure of becoming the next Shogun, as if the white darkness of fog had covered me whole, no words he said could dissuade me, no explanations could make me accept a scenario where he wouldn't be by my side. His reiterated refusals, his insistence on remaining in Hiiragi…
Takeru's company was reassuring to me, one last link to who I was beyond my duties as a Head of the Koubuin House and as a Shogun. Whenever I looked back, he was always there. I knew it, even when we were little, that he would come during the weekends to share his fun and joy with me and the cousins. And then, there was a time where he always near, when his presence became a constant in my daily life.
A small treasure only I knew where to find, a hand I could always reach out to whenever I needed it. Someone who I could relax around, without any need of forceful formality framing my conduct into a mold. Someone who never once tried to take advantage of me, who never looked at me with neither false amicability to gain my favor nor forced manners hiding disdain at my position.
And yet, he wished to stay in Yokohama despite the risk, despite the fact that it was equal to signing a death sentence. And in my suffering upon his refusal, feeling betrayed by his very first harsh words towards me… I tried to impose my will upon him, only to be met with his very first reaction of anger. And in turn… I retaliated, uttering words I never should have spoken.
"…I admit I was foolish, nothing but regret do I harbor for my words on that day. However, it does not change the fact that only when being by me did Takeru restrain the wrathful id that had been sowed into his heart of hearts by the war. You, as one of his fellows, should know that well, Tsuhi."
"Please do not be upset, I am not intending to insult you. Simply put, I am certain that you are well aware that both of you cater to different sides of him, is all." And again, that small smile.
"Cease your prattling! Takeru never held her, no, anyone else in the same regard as me, even after our… dissidence on that day. Even if he no longer lives, do not forget you are speaking of a member of the Koubuin House. I shan't allow you to tarnish his memory with your vile lies."
"And do not forget you are speaking of my leader, the man who continued to protect your wishes for all of the '99. The man you are refusing to confirm if he yet lives. Furthermore, I seem to recall you had removed him from your house. Which is why he instead had a burgundy lotus on his-"
"Utter one more word and I'll have your head on a pike by morning." Short of receding, she yet again smiled.
"Hehehe… Do you still claim to be in the right mindset to face this conundrum, Yuuhi-sama?"
"…Whatever are you referring to?" Then, while never dulling her smile, placing a hand on her chest, she gave a short bow.
"Well, if the words of this humble servant are enough to bring forth such ire, whatever will you do in front of Kouzuki if and when you are required to have a talk with the woman? Whatever would you do should he require your embrace to regain his composure?"
"I… Uh, I would… Nothing the XO could say would compare to-"
"Takeru Shirogane is my special protegee, therefore he shall remain by my side." A frown ignited on me, only to cause her to giggle once more. "You two truly are so similar. It would seem he did whisper that same wrath into you, Yuuhi-sama."
"Utter no further balderdash. You have merely put me in a foul mood."
"You still should meditate on all possible outcomes, however. He is no longer here to express your ire for you, so I do understand the pressure you must feel by being forced to play the role of a docile and warm Shogun every single day of your life. And, as per his command, it is my duty to ensure you do not ever follow his footsteps." Taking a step back and bowing deeply to me, she remains in position. "Thus, please do take into account that Takeru might yet live, and what you will need to do to ensure his return."
"…Take your leave, and do not dare to mention those days ever again." Turning back to the window, I hear her first steps as she leaves my presence. Looking back after a moment, I heard the door and then the ensuing solitude of my chamber.
The gall… How dare she say such words… How dare she still insist on such… lies, on such provocations. Takeru only confided in that woman because he… he insisted on remaining behind. It is true I was undeservedly harsh towards him at the time, yet… yet she could never, in no way or form, replace what I was for him. She was nothing more than a confidant, nothing else.
I can only bring a hand to my forehead as I shake my head, all of my anger, or at least most of it, leaving me as if rows of candles all drowned into ashes, sending my heart into a placid, dark, and regretful pondering.
"Sigh… How foolish of me, to become this adusted at her words. She is merely trying to spur me to act, to reignite my feelings for him so that I would try to confirm the man's identity." Ugh… Tsuhi always tends to act like this, and I always fall in her trap.
This time she went too far yet again. Maya should admonish her tomorrow, and well enough. As much as I appreciate Tsuhi's services, it would be the same as asking a bird to be pleased by living in a cage to have her act in any other way. After how the relation between our families crumbled, I should be grateful she still supports me despite the losses we suffered, even if I simply cannot stand the way in which she carries herself when she becomes upset.
"Still… Her words do carry some truth in them. I must not allow wrath to make nest within… And indeed, if I react towards her in this way, how will I face my daily endeavors or Kouzuki in due time?"
I sink into my bed, looking at the ceiling yet seeing something else entirely. Recalling all those distant days, when you visited, when we played together… What if… What if you're truly… alive…
However, how did he survive? That should be impossible, and it would make the man unable to truly be Takeru. And yet… And yet…
I curl to a side, hugging my forearms. Suddenly feeling cold, remembering his company yet no longer having it, I begin to rub my arms over and over.
"…I saw the readings… I saw the radar… He perished on that day. And that's… the truth."
Then, the tip of my nails begin to press themselves on my arms.
I have known this since many moons ago. They are all… merely being overwhelmed by emotion while facing someone who resembles him much. That is all. It is only logical, I also would have been truly shocked to see a copycat of Takeru. And yet there is no way that such obvious blight would fool my eyes.
Descending to my elbows, small marking are left on my arms. Then my hands begin moving up, this time with more impulse on their pressure.
There's no way he survived… There's no way I abandoned him… I didn't… I didn't do such a thing… Takeru is dead… The sword… must be a well forged replica, he must have received footage of the Mugen Kidou…
By this point, my teeth were gritted as my arms reddened, as my hands raked them over and over as if they were a lush farm field. However, what spawns these tears comes from within.
To know his tastes… his gestures… and his piloting quirks… To… possess his face and display those same emotions…
"Sniff… What if… you truly were… still alive? But then… How were you taken from… Uh-Ugh… Hic… Who… took you away?"
…And, if it truly is you… I should send word to them posthaste so that they monitor him more closely from now on, to dispel this fog. Both to quell the hesitation they're displaying and my own disquiet. However, if he had survived… If it is truly you…
"…Then, I shall have you back home, regardless of the UN's consent."
Next Day. 10:12 AM
(Sim Room.)
[Takeru]
"Why didn't you follow the plan?!" Tapping her glasses, she fumes at Kei.
"Sure did, targets got shot down."
"Because you broke the formation. All of us were supposed to nullify one target each during this scenario." Making circles in the air again, she sighs.
"No point in following a flaky tactic." Her brows are twitching, she's trying hard to not snap.
"Oh, are you saying my plan was flawed somehow? Why didn't you say so when we debated how to approach the exercise then?"
"C-Come on, you two." Mikoto barely manages to wring out. "In the end, we passed the exercise, so let's keep-"
"Yoroi, you did not manage to perform at your best." Tapping her glasses, the frown does not fade away. "If this continues to happen, Ayamine's teammates will end up with far less points than they should. If you're seen as dead weight, your score will suffer the consequences."
"I wonder who is at fault…" And of course she'd retort like that.
"What? Are you implying I'm the one who made Yoroi under-perform just now? How selfish can you be…" Crossing her arms, her brows tense into a tight V.
Looking back, Tama was shivering a bit as she looked at them, then at the ground, then at me and Meiya, then at the Instructor, then at the ground again. Meiya sighed yet again, leaning on the rails, the onset of a frown also appearing in her face. And NotMarimo-chan doesn't have any intention to stop the fight, just as she did nothing when they dog piled on me.
Sigh… And the core issue behind this argument won't be solved with a few words, much less in this world.
"Maybe you should look in the mirror more often." Looking away, hand on her hip, her usual deadpan tone could set off a Jump Unit without much help now.
"Huh? Some of us aren't making the most out of the trainings because of your selfish maneuvers!"
"C-Chizuru-san, it's alright. I can make it up in the next run."
"Shouldn't have to. You did try to do the right thing." Kei says, giving her a nod.
"What are you even going on about? Ayamine, it was you who broke the formation and caused this to begin with. It's always the same in every single run we do." Shaking her head, she then rolls her eyes.
"If you had followed my lead, all of us could have scored well enough. You didn't, and forced Yoroi to do the same when she was about to follow up." She says, which makes Chizuru shoot a look at Mikoto.
"Um… You know, I did think that, maybe, it would be for the better to scatter at the clearing…" Holding her elbow, she looks to the ground, unable to hold Chizuru's gaze.
"Then, why didn't you say that before the exercise? We could have devised another plan." Tapping her glasses, fuming an eruption out of her lungs, she looks away too.
"Uh, well, it was because I thought the plan was fine."
"Huh? You just said you thought scattering would have been better."
"Yeah, but… well…"
"Well, which is it? What was your assessment of the exercise, then?" On normal circumstances, Chizuru's question would have been received as the curious, honest inquiry of a leader trying to learn. However…
"Ah, um, you know… I saw the enemy had a vantage point and, uh, thought that we should scatter…" Mikoto is terribad when it comes to putting her thoughts into words like that. She usually has problems doing that, so in such a tense situation it's obvious she'd just clamp up.
"And after that? How would you have proceeded?" Chizuru presses, Mikoto looks down.
"Uh, I… well…"
It's not just about her usual absentminded way of being. She, just like Kei and me when I had just begun, moves purely on instinct. For her, who is also dealing with the same issues of not finding her moment to talk, and so keeps avoiding getting involved in the thick of the debates while instead just popping in every now and then, finding the right words is going to be almost impossible under this mood.
If I had to guess, going by how she isn't even lifting her gaze from the ground, she'll choose to either shut up or ask for someone else's opinion. She still doesn't have the confidence to voice her own thoughts and to follow through on her own ideas.
"Can't win if you stick to the books, is what she's saying." Kei says, shrugging. Probably trying to shield Mikoto in her own way.
"Hmph." Chizuru crosses her arms, shooting Kei another glare. "Don't be ridiculous, we can't go into battle without a plan, and not communicating our opinions is only going to make things worse."
"I did. I told you to follow me, and that you were one breath too slow." Again, one of her brows twitch.
"And what part of that tells either me or her about how you wanted to proceed?" Kei just looks away, again remaining silent. Chizuru sighs yet again. "So Yoroi, in the end, what were your thoughts on how to move on after scattering?"
"…Well, uh, I didn't really… think it that far. Kei-san, what did you have in mind when you asked us to follow you?"
"Yoroi, I'm asking your opinion. Why did you think it was a good idea to break formation?"
"I… I've been telling you, I just thought it was… the right call in the moment."
Chizuru shakes her head, looking away as she closes her eyes. Mikoto's gaze sinks further in down to Kashgar as she scratches her neck, Kei remains as she was, brows down and posture stiff as hell.
And the ones keep rollin', and they don't stop comin'. Wish taking ten was an option right now, seems better than rolling this rigged dice.
Kei again says a one liner, Chizuru fumes about how they're both not making sense, Mikoto doesn't even try to talk anymore.
"Um…" Tama speaks up, looking back at us. "S-Shouldn't we do something?"
"Leave them be, Tamase." Tracing the rim of her fringe with a finger, Meiya's eyes narrow. "Halting the argument won't solve anything. It is they who must find a way to healthily communicate their issues with one another. We must have faith that they shan't allow this setback to hamper our collective efforts."
"Uh… Shirogane-san, what do you think?"
"Well, on one hand, Mitsurugi is right. They're not little kids anymore, and us stepping in and telling them what to do won't solve anything." Tama looks down, deflating like a blimp that sees that it's in the range of the Lasers. "But, no way in hell we should just stand and watch."
"Huh? Then, what should we do?" Tama takes a step forward, regaining some color in her eyes.
"Shirogane, you should desist." Meiya says, arms folding. "Surely you know how they always have been like this. The probability of them reacting badly to your words is decidedly high."
"…And?" Looking away from her eyes, I scratch the back of my head.
"It would be most foolish to interject now of all times. We should give them some respite before we try to speak of the matter. As they are now, no words we could employ shall reach them."
"Cool, that's your opinion, Mitsurugi." One of her brows twitches. "But we're losing time, and since their problem is my problem too, I'm gonna take cards on the matter." Turning around, facing the Instructor, I can't take two steps before Meiya places herself in front of me.
"And what are you trying to accomplish by having the Instructor halt their discussion?"
"…Who said I'm going to stop their argument?"
"Huh? However, then, what are you planning to do? You should tell us what-"
"No, I don't think I will." Her lips pluck a bit, a finger begins to tap her forearm. "Because I know you're not gonna agree with me, Mitsurugi." One of her brows sinks down.
"Then, why follow through with this idea of yours?"
"Because they need a splash of cold water, and believe me when I tell you I know what I'm talking about."
"…Oh, is the water in your cell truly so cold, Shirogane-san?" Tama's tone got all creaky.
First, that's not what I was referring to. Second, don't give me those sad eyes, it's cheating. Third, thanks for worrying, sweetheart.
"It's just a manner of speech, Tama. Anyways, we can't just fold our hands and hope everything will just fix itself on its own. So, please move, Mitsurugi." Giving her a direct gaze, holding it for a second, she finally nods.
"If you're so determined, then do as you wish. However… What about our acco…" She looks down, then simply walks away.
"…What was Mitsurugi-san talking about?"
"It's nothing, Tama. Don't worry 'bout it." Smiling at her, I then turn to see that they're still going at it.
Mikoto trying to pacify them, Kei refusing to speak, and Chizuru still trying to get them to explain their thoughts in a way she can understand them.
If Kei hadn't given up on talking things through with her, all it would take is a 'You gotta be more flexible on the battlefield, because the targets will fight back in real life' from her to solve this mess. Though, if I go in and say it, Kei herself will get pissed off. She hates it when people either force her to do something or are telling her the same thing over and over again.
What makes this worse is that Chizuru is telling her she's making a miss when, in all fairness, the one making the biggest mistake is Chizuru herself. She's trying too hard to prove herself worthy, to make good plans, to make sure her outlined scenario fulfills an ideal outcome that she's missing the point of the training as she did in all past loops before the mock battles started. And since she's so dedicated to her tactics, people telling her 'do this or that' without an explanation sets her off like nothing else. More so in this world, where she's more dedicated to the role of leader.
Just like when I bought stuff on impulse back in my world and she scolded me for not being responsible with my money. Luckily, she isn't admonishing Kei as badly as in my other loops, mainly not insisting on her being mistaken, but still, it will get to that point if nothing is done.
Kei needs to trust in Chizuru again, to drop whatever is making her retort in remarks and tell her, no layer of sarcasm involved, what she wants to do and why. Not being forced by anyone, Kei herself needs to be honest and speak her mind openly or this won't have any meaning. I think Chizuru is trying to be more patient, despite how pissed off she is, since she is still trying to talk things out with both of them, so maybe I could talk things out with her later… But Kei remains as the main issue, not only in her isolating stance but on her 'No Retreat' ideal.
…One needs to learn to let go of the script and trust in her gut, the other needs to begin to rely on her team and drop that almost suicidal way of fighting. So… They gotta face a situation… in which their original plan is busted and their wincon becomes survival. However, no way in hell the Instructor will let us advance in the exercises to the missions that would place them in such a scenario, so we gotta make do with what we have on hand… which are stock Fubukis that don't move unless it's to give chase if we retreat and also barely retaliate, if at all, or the slow moving targets that are barely an inconvenience.
So, there's only one thing that could get them out of this hole as of now… and I know this will come back to bite me in the ass later today, considering how long last night's fight took, but… I guess I don't lose anything by asking.
Looking away from the argument, I walk up to the Instructor, who rose a brow as I approached.
"…I'm not going to stop them, if that's what you're going to ask." Crossing her arms, she returns a narrowed gaze.
…Yes, I knew you wouldn't, NotMarimo-chan. No need to remind me.
"I have a suggestion to make if you'd allow me, Instructor."
"Hm? What is it?"
"Would you allow me to face off against both Sakaki and Ayamine in the simulator?"
"…And that would be beneficial to the squad because…"
I then tell her my idea, and what I needed her to help me with in the sim. Never letting go of my eyes, she groans a bit once I finish.
"…And, assuming I agree, do you truly think yourself able to fill the part?"
"Yes, Ma'am. For the squad to be commissioned, and for their own futures as well, they need to stop this bickering. But, as you can see…" I look back, they're still going at it. "…words alone won't do the trick. Could you allow this exception, Instructor?" Giving her a bow and remaining like that, she soon begins to chuckle. "Uh, Ma'am?"
"It would seem you're finally ready to take the training seriously, Shirogane." I don't like that smirk, but whatever hellish training she comes up with after this will be future me's problem. And those two… gotta step up, now. "Fine, I'll allow it." Then, she begins to walk towards the rest, taking her usual pose. "Squad! Line up!"
Meiya gave me a stare as I got to her side, seeming to want to say something but choosing not to at the last second. The rest also line up quickly, the shorter ones looking antsy as hell, the other two pissed off but making an effort to restrain their mood, and failing miserably at it.
"Well, another exercise finished. No comment on this one." One of Chizuru's brow twitched, Mikoto's mouth barely opened to let out a small groan. "The next group will be Sakaki, Ayamine, Shirogane, in that order on the pods."
"Um, Instructor, what about-" Meiya's question was slashed in half by a silent stare from NotMarimo-chan.
"Come on, in the pods!"
Meiya still stared at me, arms folded and brows low. Both Tama and Mikoto gave us the antsy, worried gaze as we walked to the pods. Man, they look like I did whenever Yuuko-sensei dropped one of her crazy questions in her exams. Making a small smile, I give 'em a thumbs up. Mikoto seems taken aback, then Tama seems to tell her I had a plan or something which eases her tension, just a tiny bit.
…Meiya, however, remained with her arms tightly folded, tapping one of them with a finger, never letting me out of her sight. Sigh… I really tried to stay in good spirits around her today, but I know I should just mind my words. Though… for now, I have something else to focus on.
Looking away from the other three, I saw Chizuru and Kei sharing a sigh as they walked to the sims, getting in the pods.
Entering my sim and bolting myself to the seat as usual, the connection was started. However, unlike all the other times, a different message, colored in crimson, appeared in my view as the colors of the HUD shifted to a darker hue, as more and more windows and options appeared for a second as the sim changed its mode.
[LINK CONFIRMED – AGGRESSOR UNIT]
I think this is the very first time I play as an aggressor during my cadet course. I wonder if I can override their BGMs now? Sadly, I have no badass horse to use as a name for my unit… Oh, but one could say that I am a time diver, kinda. I'm even using an old model on the course to boot, despite the sim having me train with the config of a Fubuki. Thinking about it, my Shin Geki could be like what the Specter Type-R was for Gyriam Jaeger in the game.
Pfft! Hahaha, would be real cool if I actually was some sort of badass, S-Tier unit. Though, from the eyes of my squad, I might as well be one.
"Shirogane, can you hear me?" NotMarimo-chan's face zooms into the center of my view.
"…Loud and clear, Ma'am. All green on my end." I almost ended up lost in thought again there.
"Good. So, just to be clear, are you sure you want me to remove the automatic functions of the simulator?"
"Yes, I've been meaning to ask for permission, but didn't find the right moment."
"Sigh… Do remember that your final score will be reflected by all of your exercises. A poor performance will hurt your records. Also, manual controls can and will give you the full feedback of the unit, and that also applies to the shaking and vertigo. The images that will be projected when you perform high velocity maneuvers may either give you motion sickness or dizziness. And, of course, the aggressor configuration will also require your suit to enter the full load of the heightened feedback. Are you certain you wish also remove the auto-adjustments?"
"I am well aware of the conditions I'll be facing, Ma'am. And I have weighed my options, I believe I can handle it, more so if you allow me to use manual controls."
"Hm?" Arching a brow, she simply stares back in silence for a sec. "And, how exactly are you certain that you can handle this mission?"
"Well… There is some delay between the commands I input and the feedback, there's also the slight lag on the display. If my eyes didn't fail me, I have some frames of leeway to make some mistakes. And, not to boast or anything, but I am confident in my skill to face off against them by myself." Cue in Blaze Wars fading in aggressively.
…Not to joke again but, if I were a unit in a game, what would my BGM sound like? Oh, I know. I'll ask Kasumi to pick one for me from the songs in Oratory Tango next time we get to play.
The Instructor blinks a few times as she furrows her brows, leaving her mouth barely open.
"…Can you explain what do you mean regarding the frames?"
"Uh… Think of this as if it were a race where I can gain some seconds of advantage on the curves." She nods, making a short groan and placing a hand on her chin. "So long as I keep myself in check, so long as I listen to the car, I can exploit those seconds of advantage I get off the curves to extend my lead or break even."
"And this translates to TSF combat, in which way?"
"Sigh… There is some delay in the feedback we see, right? The inputs don't occur as fast as we press them, doesn't feel like it at least."
"Well, yes, that's true."
"So, since I more or less know which commands worsen or lessen the lag, and which are unaffected by it, I have an advantage over them, besides my own piloting skills. And so, by having no limits on the movements I can make, I have a wider set of options to choose from which will allow me to set the pace of my fighting as I go depending on how well I can take the unlocked feedback of the sim."
"I can see what you mean, however, what does this has to do with the manual controls? It isn't as if you were lacking options with the automatic support systems activated." She crosses her arms, raising a brow.
"Well, to be honest, the forced auto systems bother me a bit. My volleys are not arching as I want them to, they continue firing in a straight line, my auto-aim doesn't allow a target switch as fast as I'd like, and I can't move as I want to if the system prevents me from doing something it deems problematic." Really, I know easing people up in the learning curve is important, to grind the basics into our skulls and polish any unnecessary moves we might make otherwise, but this could use an overhaul.
Sure, I didn't get all hyper over Valgern-On in a single day, but the learning process was so much more smooth than our cadet course. Beginner mode alone covered what I'm asking of her with just a simple flick of an option. The XM3 can't get unveiled any faster. If only they had agreed to train with the consoles… Considering they're now in the open, I doubt we'd get to formally use them before we join the Valkyries.
"Hmm…" She smirks again, I don't like the gleam on her eyes. "One last question, do you think you'll be able to finish the day's trainings after this exercise?"
"Huh? Yeah, I mean, we don't have anything on the afternoon after all." What with Tama's dad coming over and…
…I just fucked up, didn't I?
"Shirogane, what do you mean by that?" Narrowed brows and eyes, the edge of a blade being released lingered on her words.
"Uh, you see… Sensei told me something serious was coming up and I wouldn't have to train on the afternoon… due to my punishment, that is."
"Sigh… Fair enough." Bullet: Dodged. "Fine, you can have your match on your rules. Show me if your ideas hold water, and if your ego translates to reality. However, if you fail to complete the exercise, I will not hesitate to give you a matching score. Are we clear? Good. So, you were wishing for their data link to be delayed?"
"Yes, if you could allow it. They need to see the importance of communicating on the go in a clear way, and halting the data link is the only way to force them to talk, for now."
"Alright, I'll play along this time. I am expecting a good show, Shirogane."
"Yes, Ma'am!" She cuts the connection, and I'm left waiting for the start of the run.
Sure, showing off will make Kei and Meiya more paranoid… but they need to get better, they can't waste their time with these arguments anymore. Also, if I'm being watched by the Guard, this might prove to them I don't fight like this world's me did at all, even if I try to use his sidesteps. But… their future is far more important than the risk of increasing my wanted level on the Royal Guard's black list yet again. And anyways, chances are they are still coming after my head, going by how Meiya again got all suspicious of me.
So… even if it's a bad call… Inhaling through my nose, filling my stomach with air as I lean back on the seat, I recite the poem Maya-sensei taught me within me as the rumbling of the sim begins to make itself known.
"…Time to flow into my enemies, with the might of an unending waterfall."