Disclaimer: It's JK Rowlings... I'm jealous, but its all hers. I am just glad we get to play in the wonderland she created!

Author's (that's me!) Note: Madison, simply put, needs to get over it. Or at the least a visit with Dr. Phil (Whom I don't own either -- damnit)

Oh, and I know this will seem like a long chapter, but because of the lack of formatting, I did make the paragraphs a bit shorter to make the read easier. Hope you can still enjoy it.

Everything, well, almost, revealed

When he had entered the bedroom, he sealed the door and put a silencing charm on it. No one would interrupt them until he knew what the hell had happened.

She walked out of the loo a few minutes later. Hair still wet and tank top in place. He smiled indulgently at her when he noticed her bunny slippers. Looking into the eyes of the only man she ever truly loved, she weighed her options carefully. Her dad's voice echoing, 'it's time, just tell him everything and get it over with. If he doesn't like it, tell him to sod off.'

Her mother's voice pushed the other from the forefront, 'Just tell him what he needs to know. Answer his questions, but nothing more. Remember, a lady never volunteers information.' She found a smile had crept onto her face as she heard the advice from her long-dead parents so real.

"Well, what are you smiling about?"

"Nothing that won't make me sound insane. So what did you want to ask me?" She wanted to kiss him, but figured that she should put that off for a little bit.

Rolling his eyes, he told her that he wanted to know what had happened to bring her back to England in the first place. So she told him of the letter, interview, hiring, her memories being brought back, and her power unbound, Harry's kidnapping and rescue. Then stopped and waited for him to ask.

He growled, "What happened between Harry's rescue and my return?"

She told him of the studies, the battle and the last year in Texas. She told him of the children's elevated status, of their mercy with Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy. She tried to explain about taking their memories, but her speech was rapid; her words falling over one another as they left her mind.

He had to listen close to understand the word before she would start the next one. He wondered for a moment why she was scared. When she finished talking, he was still looking at her, closely. She told him everything she could think of except the fact that she had been kidnapped, tortured, raped, and taken his best friend and enemy into her bed. She finished with her kidnapping him and bringing him here.

He continued to study her. He reached out and touched the long scar on her arm. She shuddered. He asked quietly, "And what have you left out? Where did the scar come from? What has happened that you think I need to know but you are afraid to tell me?" His questions were simple.

'Damn him, he still knows me.' She thought savagely. She rubbed her face. She flipped her head forward, and put her hair up in a pony tail.

'Merlin she's sexy when she flips her hair that way.' She stood and paced for a few moments. He noted silently that she was putting physical distance between them.

"Uhm… I don't really think about it anymore Sirius. Its… not exactly important."

"If it isn't important, why can't you tell me about how you got it? Why did you agree to come and talk to me?" He asked. 'Not that I'm beginning to give a damn,' he added silently.

"Hasn't anyone told you?" He shooke his head. "I…explained that to you, I wasn't sure what the veil had done to you or what condition you would be in when you came out. I…was trying to protect the kids, to some extent, I suppose." He raised an eyebrow at her words, but said nothing.

She waited, and then continued. "The veil that you fell into was supposed to be… full of demons. That's the deal. I didn't know…. what you had been exposed to, and I wanted to be sure that if you were going to be angry, you had me to deal with, and not them. Plus, what the kids talked about you being like before when Albus kept you in your mother's hell hole. God, how did you stand it?"

He laughed. "Forget the fucking veil! Rowan, stop avoiding the original questions. All I'll say about that hell hole, is that is the most accurate description of my mother's house. Now, back on track; why not just tell me what the hell happened to you?"

"Avoid? I wasn't trying to…" He smirked at her.

"The things you told me would not have made those kids hate you. Its more than just Remus in your bed. Tell me."

She rolled her eyes at him before taking a deep breath. 'This is why you brought him here, isn't it? Why is it so hard to just tell him? It isn't as though he can do anything.'

She allowed herself to count to ten, hoping he would be impatient and interrupt her, but he sat, drinking that damned cup of tea and just watched her. "You have to promise me that…that no matter what I tell you, that you give me a chance to explain…everything." She paused, seeking a way to avoid the conversation. "But before I do… A few years ago…were you really in Texas? Did you sleep with me that weekend? Or was it just a dream."

He smiled at her. "Yes, I was there. I assume you got my letter?" She nodded, "then you already knew the answer, quit stalling. Tell me what I need to know." He gave her that same smirk he used when he and James were talking.

Rolling her eyes, she took a deep breath, "First you should know that I was in counseling for over a year to learn how to...deal with everything… I don't think I actually finished counseling, but it was time to come back to England, so I haven't talked about it in awhile. I'm telling you this because there are parts, even I don't know. At some point, you need to talk to Remus to get the rest of the details… I never asked for them." She wondered silently why she had never asked about them, but quickly decided she hadn't and didn't want to know. She looked into his pleading eyes.

Taking a deep breath, she told him all she could stomach to admit to. Instead of telling him about the abductions, the beatings, multiple rapes, confrontations with Voldemort and his followers, and fears. She told him the scars came from the Final Battle and her healing time in the hospital, she hesitated for a moment and then plunged on, telling him of Snape being the one that saved her. She talked about Remus and Severus getting her through the dark times, when she could do nothing but educate the children to prepare them for the battle. She had tears in her eyes when she told him of Snape's sacrifice for her during the final battle.

He rose from his seat; his cup dropping to the floor with a crash. He started toward her; anger, indignation, and pain radiated from him. She stepped back to keep the distance between them. "You..." he stepped closer. Her heart beat faster. "Cared…" another step. "For…" she was backed against the wall as he closed the distance between them. "SNAPE?" He was feet from her and still advancing.

"You already know that…" she said without looking at him.

He made no mention of having heard her, "Fucking I can handle, but you… you actually cared for that greasy haired git?" She nodded; her head fell forward, unable to continue the conversation. She wasn't sure if he was going to kiss her or kill her, his hands suddenly holding her arms, restraining her against the wall. "Explain to me, why, of all the people in the world, him? I hate him. Everyone hates him. He never is anything but loathsome."

Her head snapped up and the fire in her eyes shown brightly. "Is that all you heard? My God Sirius… Snape SAVED MY ASS, Sirius. Physically, emotionally, he was the one that brought me back. Not once but TWICE. He helped me save Harry, Mason, Madison and the rest. He was the one that helped heal me when Poppy couldn't do it. Severus did. You have that git to thank many times over. He taught potions and occulmency. He, without a doubt, was a major factor as to how they won the battle. I know he is the reason I am here today. I mourned him for the year we were in Texas because he DESERVES to be remembered. Do not speak ill of him again."

She had not told him of the baby. From the look on his face, Remus had not told him either.

He was rocked by her words. He hated Snape, with every fiber of his being. How could his wife take him into her bed? How could Remus have been part of it?

Taking a deep breath, she plunged with that final piece of information. "I was pregnant too." He looked at her with concern. "I don't know if it was Remus' or Severus', which seems to be an ongoing situation with me." She half smiled. "But I was four months along when the final battle killed him. It was a boy. I was going to name him Michael. Both Remus and Severus were thrilled and planned to raise the baby with me in a peaceful world." She finished, somewhat lamely.

He had moved forward as she spoke. He reached to touch her arm and felt the raised scars he could not see because of the glamour. She noticed his touch of the most hideous scar on her arm as he looked but could not see it. Finally, after tracing the length of it, he released her.

"That's one of the scars, there are more… a lot more."

His head snapped up to meet her eyes. 'More Scars?' he thought to himself. Aloud he said, "How many more?"

She rolled her eyes. "I've never counted them and it doesn't matter. They weren't his fault; if that's what you're thinking." She paused, feeling her anger was rising, she tried to calm herself. God above, she didn't need another headache now. But, as usual with her temper, it won out. She pulled away from him, walking while yelling at him.

"You do know that Remus will hate me before the end of this night. Madison and Mason already HATE me because of him. They ALL hate me. They have every right to hate me..."

She took a breath before plunging forward, "I was horrible to them and now in addition to that, they think I chose him over you. They're wrong, but they can't see it. You were gone. They hadn't learned enough magic to bring you back. They had to defeat Voldemort. They had to… never mind." She looked deep into his eyes and knew in an instant, "I can see it in your eyes. You hate me too." She finished quietly, feeling the now familiar pain creeping up her neck into the base of her skull; the throbbing pain of another headache. "Look, the kids are probably still at the Potter Estate, you can floo or apparate there. Hell, you can probably walk there, if you wanted to. Go to them and get their story. I can't do this anymore right now."

He could see her eyes almost glaze over in… something. He didn't take time to finish that thought before he backed away from her. 'She thinks I hate her?' Said the first voice in his head, 'No! Don't let her go… she just came back to you… stop her!' The second voice in his head yelled at him. He reached to her, grabbing her hand with a surprising gentleness, he noted that her fingers weren't exactly straight. "Rowan… wait…I don't want to talk to the kids, I want to… talk to you… please, talk to me..." Thinking quickly at the disbelief on her face, he asked, "Was it horrendous?" Realizing what he said, he grimaced immediately, 'Great job you stupid git…ask her if being forced to kill was horrendous. Why don't you just shut up now and let her walk out of the door.'

"Was what horrendous?" She snapped the words before she could stop herself, causing the sharp pain to intensify.

"During the final battle; the Death Eaters: Was it horrendous?" 'Keep her talking. She won't leave if she is still talking. She just came back, Merlin, I don't want her to leave again.' She nodded, still not looking at him. "Tell me everything, completely, I need to understand." His voice pleaded with her. She turned to look into his eyes; seeing tears falling down his cheeks. 'Just don't leave me again. I can bear anything… just don't walk out of the door.'

"You don't want to the rest. I told you before; I don't even know it all." She said it so rude; she was almost ashamed. 'I have to get away from here for a minute. I have to stop being so angry. This isn't his fault. God above my head hurts. Forty frappin' years old and I am still throwing temper tantrums.' She added to herself.

'She's so angry. Good job, you idiot. She hates me still. How can she ever forgive me? Please don't leave me again.' "Tell me what you do know then. Please, I mean…don't I need to know everything?" He released her hand almost immediately and walked back to the chair.

'I have NOTHING to lose now. He wants to know what happened. I can't admit what happened to me... he would NEVER understand! Maybe when I finish, my head will just flipping explode and I won't have to worry about any of it. Damn him anyway…' "They will be glad to tell you."

"I've avoided them as much as I have you. Other than when they need help with the children, I really haven't spent any time with them. Ro...I don't want to hear anything more from them or Remus. Your daughter seems to relish in twisting the facts to make you look bad. I would rather hear it from you."

Grimacing, she rubbed her neck to slow the progress of the pain creeping steadily to her temples, unable to continue. He watched her as she paused to take a sip of water, her right hand still rubbing at her shoulders and neck. She took a piece of ice out of her glass and moved it slowly around the very center of the back of her neck.

'I could help with that.' He thought momentarily before she started talking again.

She talked about being strong in front of the kids, but being a walking time bomb hoping that she would keep it all inside while the kids were in her presence. She had been a slave driver with them, short tempered and angry. He knew she was fighting the same lump that was growing in his throat. 'How could she have survived?' He listened as her words broke into sobs at the memories and the pain of the headache.

He listened to the words she didn't say as much as the ones she did. His heart broke over at what she lived through, and what she forced herself to do. He heard her anguish as she talked. He saw the body language which showed him that she told the truth. She talked about the Malfoys and their counsel the year in Texas, clarifying that they were in no way involved with the final battle.

Eventually, she was unable to continue. She rolled her neck, feeling nauseous from the intensity of the headache. Walking past him, she went to the loo, and vomited the contents of her stomach. He followed her and held the ponytail back as the memories and pain overwhelmed her. When she was down to the dry heaves and those finished, he handed her a glass of water and a wet hand towel, and then he helped her stand. She was shaky, holding his arm and the counter. Taking a step, she reached for her toothbrush to rid her mouth of the foul taste. He stood behind her, his hands on her hips to be sure she would not fall over, until she spit and rinsed her mouth. Wiping her lips with the wet towel, she turned to look up at him; her headache throbbing as she turned, collapsing in his arms.

He scooped her up and carried her into the bedroom. Laying her on the bed, he left her to talk to Remus. He wasn't at the Estate, and apparently other than Rowan and him, there wasn't anyone there. He did not go to Harry's. He wasn't ready to deal with that group just yet. When he returned, he found her still asleep. He sat in the chair and waited until she woke to continue the conversation. When he realized she would not be waking for awhile, he crawled in bed and held her until she woke once again.

Near three o'clock in the afternoon, she woke with a scream; the nightmare pulling her out of her rest. He scrambled away from her, not understanding what was happening. She gasped for air as she fought the invisible hands. Her arms and legs flailing as she tried to get away from those that held her down so long ago. He realized she was having a nightmare and, unsure what to do, waited until she calmed again. It was a full ten minutes before she collapsed back on the pillow, the sheets torn and pillows thrown across the room. He waited another half hour before rejoining her.

Early that evening, she woke once more. The headache still present, but relieved to a great extent, she looked to her husband. Slipping quietly out of his arms, she left his side. When she had finished yet another shower, she realised that she could not replace the glamour, so she dressed in full pajamas and makeup before leaving opening the door.

She walked without speaking across the room and donned a pair of socks. The arms on her pajamas just long enough to cover all but the tips of her fingers, she checked to be sure her body was covered completely before she turned around.

He watched her cross the room in silence. He was awake and sitting at the chair sipping a cup of tea when she turned to see him. The look on his face was unreadable; knowing she needed to finish this and take something soon, she returned, her words barely above a whisper, "I'm sorry… the headaches come on when I have any really strong emotion."

He nodded, "Then perhaps you should not lose your temper." She rolled her eyes; taking the cup of coffee he offered, and walked away from him. "Will you finish what you started before you got sick yesterday?" She stuck her tongue out at him as she tried to remember where she had left off, "you were about to finish telling me about your counseling in Texas…"

Their eyes met and connected with emotion as she spoke, "I really don't want to do this now, I have a horrible headache still…" but the look on his face told her to get it over with. Between bites of dry toast and black coffee, she told him again about the darkness she slipped into to survive; then told him about the anger and the nightmares that followed.

She paced as she talked. She told him about Valentine's Day when her lovers visited Texas; and how she shut them out when she returned. Working with the kids, until her class times at Hogwart's, teaching, then returning to the Estate where she worked until she fell asleep exhausted, then rising a few hours later to start it all again. She told him about the baby and the response of the men when they found out. She could not find the words to admit her torture.

She stopped moving around the room, looked at him, and, finally said, "Look, even if I weren't involved with Remus, I know you will never forgive me for leaving you, for being with other men, for losing it and treating the kids so horribly when I was training them. But… well, it doesn't matter because I can't change the past, and if you hate me…so be it."

She slid down the corner of the bed and sat on the floor at the end of the bed, pulled her knees up to her chest, unable to look at him. She felt weak from being sick last night, the headache would not stop. Her tears fell silently when she realized none of it mattered because he would hate her.

The pain of her heart breaking and the headache that would not ease was just too much to deal with anymore. If only one of the two would stop for a minute. As the pain glazed her senses, she slipped further away from the light of the room.

'Weakness? She taught them everything they needed to defeat Voldemort. She pushed them to the breaking point, apparently taking her own sanity with her as she did. Where is the weakness? She throws up when she talks about the details and she thinks I believe her weak?' He tried to wrap his male mind around all she had told him. He knew she was crying, but made no immediate move to her.

He sat, looking into his own clasped hands, the knuckles turning white, trying to put everything she told him over the past two days together. Small trickles of blood flowed as his nails cut into his skin; anger burning his veins; guilt at not being the one to bring her through it.

Guilt turned to hate and anger. The combined emotions filled every sense he possessed, but not at her, never at her. Only when he realized that she had stopped crying and was asleep, would he allow himself to look toward her. She was curled into a ball on the floor at the end of the bed, as a whipped dog would be.

Her breathing was rapid, like she was in pain. He watched her until it slowed. He wondered vaguely if her sleep would last. Only when he could control his feelings, he went to her, picking up her now limp body and moving her onto the bed.

As he laid her down, her collar of her pajama top moved just enough to allow the sunlight that streamed in the window to show the edges of scars across her chest. He turned her slightly and moved the material back a bit more.

She was lying on her back, and he looked, really looked for the first time at her. Her makeup was thick and extended from her hairline on her ears to below her collarbone. Even as he had carried her back to their bed earlier, he had not taken the time to really stop and look at her.

He unbuttoned her top, almost feeling guilty as her skin was revealed to him. There was the long deep scar on her upper right arm; one across her shoulder and down her left arm.

Her face, through the makeup, when he looked close, he could see that the skin was even covered in light scars crossing her face in sets of four… fingernails? Her fingers weren't quite straight. He took her socks off. Her toes were not straight either; they were obviously broken at some point.

Looking back up to her chest, from her neckline to her once beautiful breasts were lines, some darker than others. Both sported gold rings pierced through the nipples. Under ordinary circumstances, he would have found them to be erotic, but now... he looked past them to the cleavage that once caused so much desire in was marred by small light… teeth marks? 'She was bitten so hard that there were teeth mark scars?' dismissing it as soon as he thought it.

He pulled her top closed and rebuttoned it, before moving away from her, hands running through his hair, as he paced the room, trying to understand, putting all the pieces of what everyone had told him together, he returned to her, she was sleeping almost peacefully.

Tears fell down his cheeks as he tried to remember all she had told him, wondering if she had actually told him everything or not. He whispered in her ear that '…loved her still' and '…they would be okay…' as a silver vapor entered the room, he left her for a bit to apparate to Harry.