Chapter 43: Resolve
November 30th. 12:42 AM.
(PX.)
[Takeru]
"So you're sure I won't get yelled at or anything?" I ask NotMarimo-chan, who narrows her eyes at me.
"Shirogane, this is not a regular situation. You can remain in the PX with your squad until the Undersecretary arrives. Sakaki, come with me."
Then, both of them leave the PX. Chizuru seemed really upset about this, going by how her brows were arched and how heavy her steps were.
"Hopefully Sakaki can deal with this task without losing her composure." Meiya watched as the two disappeared into the hallway.
"I know Chizuru-san is the leader, but why are they making her guide the politicians if Miki-san is the squad leader for today?"
"I think it's because of her standing, right?" Meiya nods at my words as she comes back into the PX.
"That it is exactly. Well, nothing we can do about that. Tamase, you're the leader now, what should we do?"
"Huh?!" Tama twitched, a sweat bead appeared on her forehead. The armband Meiya made moved slightly as she started shivering.
"Supreme Leader Tamase-sama, your orders if you may." Kei, you're just making her more uncomfortable.
"Huh? I… err… E-Everyone, remain in standby and… a-and… Haauuuwhawha…"
"Miki-san, you can do it! It's not so hard." Mikoto beamed at Tama, who sighed deeply and calmed down a bit.
"This is harder than I thought." Maybe if we had trained them with the Game Guy and the Stallion using CryRing Saga she would have gotten more used to the idea of leading.
"Fret not, it will be over before you know it. Have faith in yourself." Meiya smiled at her warmly, easing Tama's nervousness.
"Yeah… Just don't sweat it." Nodding at her, she smiles a bit.
"Hey guys… Think that's the ride?" Kei called us as she looked outside, where a figure on the sky was closing into the base.
"Oh! So that's a re-entry destroyer! I never got to see one up close." Mikoto was staring at it starry eyed. Was she so into this kind of thing last time around?
"Papa is… Papa is… Awhawhawha."
"Tamase, do not lose your composure. It is unproper to act in such a way, surely you've been taught how important poise is, right?" Meiya looked like an older sister now. Tama straightened her posture and stopped shivering.
"Yes, but I'm not… I mean…"
"So guys, shouldn't we go to the barracks?" They nod and we all look at Tama.
"Right. Tamase, your orders."
"Errr… Everyone, let's go back to the barracks."
A few minutes later…
"Let me tell you, they didn't stop talking about all of these stupid regulations that are literally useless in this day and age!" Fuming as she drew circles in the air, she then shook her head.
"It is most troubling to have such politicians on the UN, if they are the chosen ones to represent our nation in front of the international community." A hand on her air-vents, she nodded hard.
Meiya and Chizuru were talking about the guys she had to guide just a while ago, with Kei surprisingly nodding in agreement to them.
"I wonder if Miki-san will be alright."
"We gotta believe in her Mikoto. And Kasumi is with her, so she'll be fine."
"Hmm… You trust in Yashiro a lot, don't you?" Putting her hands on her waist she leans forward, staring suspiciously at me.
"Hey, cut it out. Kasumi's a friend, you know."
"Really now?" Mikoto stop being a jerk. "So, feeling fine today?"
"Yeah… Still a bit tired, though."
"What's up? Didn't get much sleep?"
"Well… Kinda."
Seeing how little me and Sumika met up was really nice, Kasumi was overjoyed at the memory. We were lucky to be underground, because the stars would have gotten so jelly of the bunny's shining smile. That went well enough, even if I didn't stay to see how Sumika reacted to the memory since I was busted.
Of course, seeing Mom that pale wasn't nice but… Since I couldn't get that out of my head, as well as why Dad was nowhere in the house… What I saw today in my dreams… wasn't pleasant at all… Why was Mom in a hospital? I don't remember her ever having health problems back in my world, or at least they never mentioned anything. Sigh…
"Hey, you sure you're okay, Takeru?"
"Yeah, I'm alright. Thanks for asking Mikoto, but I'm just a little tired, is all." She doesn't buy my excuse, looking at me top to bottom.
"Well, you should rest more, in my opinion. You have eyebags growing under your eyes, and even your tone is showing signs of tiredness. I think it would be for the best that you slept in earlier today."
"Yeah… I'd be good if I could do that. Thanks for the advice." She scratches her ear, a small grin on her.
"Hey, they're coming! Squad, line up!" Chizuru spotted them at the end of the hallway and we all formed up, awaiting them.
The Instructor, Tama's Dad, Kasumi and Tama, who was clearly tense and moving like a puppet with one string, arrived at the barracks.
"T-These are the barracks, sir. To the left are the women's rooms and to the r-right are the men's rooms." Tama looked like a robot during a short circuit.
"Oh! These barracks do look nicer than the ones on the rest of the bases I've visited. Papa is so happy for you, Tama!" He's still the same doting father here, huh? It's nice to see that hasn't changed, for her to still have that good relation with him.
Wait a sec, is he gonna do that same joke about me and Tama being together? …This will not end well. I mean, in this world they shouldn't have feelings for me, so maybe everything will be alright. Considering how this world is, if everything goes the same as before things could end up bad for us, what with the Instructor almost turning into a Super Shayan on a daily basis and the stronger views people have here.
"S-Squad, salute!" Wow, Tama did it on her own this time. We all salute, the Instructor smiling at us.
"We've been waiting for your arrival, sir!"
"These are the members of Squad 207. Allow me to tell you that they've been excelling in their training, even if they are almost more trouble than they're worth." Ouch. Marimo-chan, forgive all the cruel things I did to you. You have no idea how much I miss you right now.
"Oho… So this is Tama's squad? Oh, you're the one from before… Chizuru Sakaki-kun, right?" She then takes one step forward and bows.
"Yes, sir."
"You must be exhausted after having to endure my fellows' ramblings, they can be very obnoxious, I know." He sighs in sympathy, nodding once.
"No, sir. It was an enriching experience." You were badmouthing them just a second ago though. I see Kei holding her pockets. So she wanted to comment on that.
"I heard you are Tama's second in command, am I right?" Oh, who told him that? The Instructor is grinning, so that's how it is.
"Yes. I have relied on her sound advice many times. I cannot count the amount of favors I owe her." I would like her good will to be repaid, but alas…
"Yes, I've heard about your attitude from Tama. You're just like your Father. Stubborn, inflexible, prone to screaming, and worst of all prideful and rude. Do try to not give Tama any more problems, will you?" Wow, she's holding it pretty good. Despite her trembling eyes, she's maintaining her posture.
"Y-Yes, sir. I'll do my best." She takes a step back and rejoins the line. As she does she shoots a glare at Tama, who starts quivering. Kasumi pets her head a bit, trying to calm her down.
"Now, you would be…"
"I'm Mikoto Yoroi, sir." Please try not to cry…
"Oh, yes. You're the happy one. The one who's always smiling and making everybody laugh with her eccentric quips." Phew, so this time she wrote nice things about- "And the one who's surprisingly flatter than Tama." Dammit Tama!
"Y-You know how much… Waaahhh!" Off she goes, leaving a trail of tears in her wake.
Tama keeps shivering while Kasumi keeps petting her. The Instructor is holding her mouth, so even she's finding this hilarious. How odd, she rarely ever shows us anything other than anger.
"Hm? What a strange fellow." One of his brows raises, his tone a bit confused. "Now, you would be…"
"Kei Ayamine."
"Oh, yes. You're the strong one of Tama's squad, right?"
"You're Tama too." Kei, no! "Nice mustache, by the way." Dammit! Why must this always go so poorly?
"Hey! Do not talk back to the Undersecretary!" Tama suddenly snapped and yelled at Kei. Oh God, she's twitching.
"Forgive me, Squad Leader." She's narrowing her eyes at Tama, who flinches back.
Tama, you're so dead. Kasumi nods at me, that means Kei is gonna have her revenge on her, huh.
"Well, I've heard you're quite a mystery and that you usually do your own thing. Do try to not get in Tama's way. You don't want to be like Sakaki-kun, right?" Double kill! I don't know who was more offended by that.
"…Yes, sir." Brows furrowed real tight, she stomps back into the line.
"Then, who's next? Oh, you must be…"
"I am Meiya Mitsurugi, sir." She steps up, saluting him.
"Hmm… Yes, I can see it. Hmm…"
"Do you not have anything to say about me, sir?"
"No, you see, I'd like my head to remain above my shoulders."
"I see?" She tilted her head, clearly not understanding his words.
Like, what did Tama even write about Meiya? I understand the guy not wanting to make jokes about a potential relative of the Shogun… But still, what the hell did she write?
"But well, seeing you here is a relief. Now I know why Tama could keep her hair like this." He nodded as a grin appeared on his face.
"Pa… I mean, Undersecretary that has nothing to do with her."
"Hey, Sakaki… What are they talking about?"
"Hm? You know, of why Mitsurugi and Tamase get to keep those ridicu…" Stopping short, she taps her glasses. "I mean, long haircuts without nobody saying anything." Am I missing something here?
"Sir, in this base we are allowed to maintain our personal appearance as we please, so long as it doesn't go against the dress code of the UN." The Instructor explains to him. I didn't knew we had a dress code here, since we get handed our uniforms after all.
"Oh, I see. Shame it's not the same in my office… Sniff… I do miss my old mustache from time to time." A single tear runs down his cheek. Wait… His old… You're telling me he had that same flamboyant mustache in this world?!
"Papa, don't be sad. Someday you'll be able to have it like that again." Tama beamed at her father, he smiled widely.
"Oh! Tama, my dear! You've no idea how happy I am that you can keep your do! Forgive Papa for making you go through so many hardships."
"No, Papa it's not your fault!" I feel like I'm missing something important here.
"Why is he so sad about that? What happened to him?" I look at the rest, who just make complex expressions at me.
"Don't ask me, we try to not pry into each other's business, remember?" Chizuru shrugged me off.
"He took an arrow to the mustache." Kei, are you being serious?
"Hm? What was that?" Crap, he heard us… "So you've told them about your bow skills, Tama? You must trust in them a lot." He smiles warmly at her, who starts fidgeting.
"Wait… Bow?"
"Oh right, you didn't know." Chizuru smiles, again tracing circles in the air. "Tamase is really good with a bow. We always used to poke fun at her, about how she should use a bow instead of a gun when we had just started basic." So this world's Tama was also good with a bow?
"Tamase is really good. But maybe Tama Elder hit himself in the face and lost his mustache like that." Kei smiles as she strokes her chin.
"Hey! Ayamine-san, no disrespect to the Undersecretary!" The kitty hisses, Kei narrows a gaze back at her and she recoils down to normal. Oh Tama, you cute little thing…
"Oh! You look so graceful when you give orders, my Tama. Papa wants to see you give some more orders, go ahead!" And he immediately invigorates the flame back up, huh.
"Hey you! If you've nothing better to do, go scrub the latrines!"
Why do you always point at Kasumi?! And why do you always obey without protesting?! Kasumi looks at me and smiles, then leaves towards the baths. Sigh… What the actual fuck? I was kinda worried things would spiral out of control in this world, but this is still as chaotic as always and everybody is cool with it. What the hell, seriously.
"You look so mature. Papa is kinda sad, my cute little daughter is becoming a woman…"
"Papa, don't say that. It's embarrassing!" The Instructor smiles at her, same for Kei and Chizuru. However, Meiya was looking away.
"And you're the last one… Takeru Shirogane, am I right?" Let's do this! The HSST is coming at us right now probably, so I just gotta endure it.
"Yes, sir!" I step forward. His gaze observes me all over, this is actually a bit embarrassing.
"I've heard many great things from you. You're strong, smart, driven, and kind above all else. Tama has mentioned how many good deeds you've done for the squad, and how you've helped them to improve in the short time you've spent with them."
"No, sir. I've just been doing my best efforts to not fall behind."
"And modest, to boot! You wouldn't happen to also know how to shoot a bow, would you?"
"Huh? I mean… No, I do not." I almost said yes. I do know how, but I don't know if this world's me also knew how to. So shut up, myself.
"Well, you can't be perfect after all. However, I heard you gave Old Man Mooroka a run for his money during an interrogation, not many people can do that. Your grit is most remarkable!"
"Thank you, sir."
"Hmm… Yes, you'll do just fine. Please Shirogane-kun, keep supporting Tama and standing by her side from now on, as you have been doing so far." Ah, yes. Here we go. "Let's practice for awhile, try calling me Papa!" A wide smile, welcoming and without any hidden spike or anything.
Now that I think about it, his attitude towards me is the complete opposite to that of my world's version of him. What the hell, yet again.
TUG
"Shirogane-kun, could you explain what he means?" Chizuru, please do not get so upset.
"I mean, shouldn't we ask Tama about-"
AGGRESSIVE TUG!
"Takeru, I have something to ask of you. Worry not, it shan't take long."
Meiya and Chizuru look even more pissed off than how they usually were in my past loops. Meiya's eyes were blazing purple again while Chizuru's glistened red as her hair rose up, snakes coming out of her twintails. Why?! I could maybe understand Chizuru, but you were getting all paranoid a few days ago! Why is the fire pouring out like when you sent me to that damned mountain?!
"Awhawhawha…" And now she's completely tilted, too.
"C'mon, guys. Don't go overreacting. I'm sure Tama has an explanation for this." My shoulders try to, very subtly, edge away, the crushing claws keep me firmly in place.
"Hm? I got the impression there was something between you two from Tama's letters, am I wrong?" Yes! Yes, you are!
"Undersecretary." Oh? What is Kei planning to do? "You misunderstood. There is nothing between them." Meiya's and Chizuru's grasp on my shoulders eased a bit. "And it's because they're so close, that there is literally nothing between them." God-fucking-dammit Kei! Don't smile at me like that! What about getting along and all that jazz?!
"Oho… So they have already gone that far…" He closes his eyes and caresses his mustache.
"Takeru, could you please explain what this means?" Meiya, dear, my bones don't bend that way. Her eyes, full of purple flames, resembled those of a dragon.
I really do not like it when she gets jealous. I still wonder why she's being so obvious about it, what data leaked into her?
"Tamase, why didn't you give us the happy news?" Chizuru went and addressed Tama in a small and slow whisper. Tama then seemed to suddenly become interested on the floor, doing a pendulum arc back and forth as she remained groaning.
"Sakaki-kun, don't make trouble for the Squad Leader." Kei poked the wolf, gaining a glare and a bark from Chizuru.
"Ayamine, I am just asking for confirmation on what the Undersecretary is saying."
"…Really now?"
"What are you implying now?"
"You're just jelly because you can't get Special-kun's special milk." Kei said in a mocking tone as she moved her closed hand up and down, closer and closer to her lips with each swing, which made Tama and Chizuru turn into tomatoes. The Instructor couldn't hold it in and I heard a noise escape her lips.
But… But… Dammit, that's embarrassing. On one hand, I'm happy she's willing to joke around like this. On the other, I really wouldn't like her to start making this kind of jokes often. It's hard enough to remain cool after they started being nice, being reminded of our intimacy is only gonna make me miss 'em more. And who knows how they'll react to that in the first place. Imagine Kei suddenly having dreams of us together after all we did to finally start over.
"Takeru, what is Ayamine talking about?" Meiya was the only one who didn't get it. You sweet cinnamon roll…
"Don't ask. It's better for you to not know." Especially considering the memory business, and how dear your duty is to you here. But then, she pouted as she heard my answer, her hands deeply rooted into her forearms.
"Why is that? If you have access to a special type of milk, I would very much like to try it. I've heard that milk is usually processed to have many different nutrients, so if it isn't much trouble, could you spare a cup of your milk for me?"
…
She can't… I heard that wrong, right? There is no way that she asked me that with a straight face.
"Pfft… Ahahahahah!" The Instructor couldn't hold it in anymore and started laughing.
"Hmm? Why is she laughing in such manner?" Meiya tilted her head, looking at the Instructor.
"Mitsurugi, you… Do you know what you just said?" Chizuru's face was completely red. Even Kei was blushing a bit.
"Ayamine, this is your fault." I send a scowl at her, and she ignores me as she closes her eyes and stretches a hand forward.
"Unexpected collateral damage. It was fun to hear, though."
"You can't just say things like that! Look what Mitsurugi said because of your joke!" Chizuru was stomping the tip of her foot in the ground. Kei shrugs, which makes her even more angry.
"Um… Can any of you tell me what is the problem? Takeru, is there any reason why you cannot give me some of this milk of yours?" Shut up, dammit! I should be worried about the HSST, not you! Ugh, I can tell my face is completely red by now.
What am I gonna do if Tsukuyomi-san is keeping tabs on you and heard this?! I'm dead! Screw the memory business, I'm dead! They'll assume I want to corrupt Meiya, and if she sees any other of our intimate moments, that might as well be true. If that happens, then Yuuhi is so gonna come for my head and cream me like a… No! Not like that, brain! God-fucking-dammit, myself! In no feasible way would Yuuhi and I ever do anything of the sort! What the hell am I thinking, defiling her like this?! Where the hell did that come from, anyways? Damned teenage hormones, making me imagine Her Highness in that way.
Meiya groans at my silence, a finger tapping her arm. Placing a hand over my eyes, I sigh and shake my head, unable to hold her gaze anymore, feeling a shiver on the back and down, as the Instructor keeps laughing.
"Awhawha, someone stop Mitsurugi-san!" Already on it, Tama.
"M-Meiya, I forbid you from ever bringing this up ever again."
"Eh? But… But why can't you-"
"Wahahahaha! Tama, your squad can really put up a nice act, can't they? Ahahaha!" His loud laughter, along the Instructor's, left us baffled. Is he doing this to spare us the embarrassment?
"Oh… Yes, sir. It was merely an act to show you how good we get along." Nice reaction Tama. Oh, Mikoto's back.
"Hey guys… Hm? What happened?" She stared with a finger on her lips at the blushing faces of the rest and the laughing adults on the side.
"Don't ask Mikoto. Just don't."
"Thank God Yoroi didn't heard that." Me and Chizuru share a sigh.
"Hm? Hey, what happened? Meiya-san, why is everybody acting so strange?"
"I do not know. Takeru refuses to tell me why he can't share with me some-"
"Mitsurugi, when quiet you're prettier." Kei put one finger over Meiya's mouth, saving the day.
"Well, let us continue with the tour then!" And as Tama's Dad prepared to move…
VROOOOM! VROOOOM! VROOOOM!
Thank you HSST, for saving me from this awkward moment. May Tsukuyomi-san have missed this little argument. Otherwise, they'll come for my he… life without a doubt.
"This alarm…" The girls look in shock at the red sirens.
"Undersecretary, DEFCON 2 has just been declared. It seems a destroyer lost control and is going to fall near us. Please accompany me to the underground command room." The Instructor apparently received her orders from a communicator.
"I see. What will be of the Cadets?"
"I do not know. For the time being, they should-"
"Surface Pilot Cadet Squad 207th. Assemble immediately in Briefing Room N°2. I repeat-"
"They're calling us to the briefing room?!" Chizuru's yell was mired by fear. The rest also looked petrified on the spot, as if they also had forgetten how to breathe.
"What is the meaning of this?! Ugh, Yuuko!" The Instructor sighed as she strokex the top of her head, drawing hard circles. "Squad! Head to the briefing room on the double!"
"Roger!"
"Take care, Tama." Tama's Dad took one last look at her before leaving.
"Y-Yeah… I'm off."
Some moments later.
Sensei's explanation went by just as I remember it, with the Undersecretary chiming in midway, until she revealed the OTH Cannon.
"This is one of this base's greatest weapons, the OTH Cannon. It's already assembled, ready to fire. We'll take it down with this."
"Professor, the OTH Cannon isn't an anti-air weapon! It doesn't-" As before, the Instructor's complains are drowned by Sensei's chuckling.
"Oh yes, it can do it. This is our best bet, after all. And we did improve our base's equipment not so long ago." She sent a brief glance at me, a smirk in her face.
Right, the new radars and sensors will help Tama with more accurate data on her Fubuki, even when the Fubuki itself cannot be upgraded. We now could also indirectly help Tama's aim by upgrading her TSF's auto-aiming data with that of the training units we have been developing here.
I mean, I did say that the auto-lock wasn't good enough, and Sensei did want me to prove her how good going manual was, but I didn't expect her to try to improve the response time of the automatic aim systems too. Is that why I didn't miss most of my attacks during Niigata? Just how good are those new sensors? I'll have to read the docs throughly when I get the chance.
Sensei explains to the rest how the OTH works, it sounds exactly the same as what I remember. Except something about how she improved the shell's CPU to make it more accurate. Did she use something from Alt. IV, just like she did for the XM3? Maybe she was running against the clock to get that done, and it's why she's so tired.
"Professor! What are you saying?! Tamase is still a mere Cadet!" Glad to see the Instructor doesn't just go along with this mad plan, even if it is our best bet.
They start going back and forth again. Tama is clearly shaking now, holding her shoulders tightly. Eventually, the Instructor submits to Sensei's plan and faces us. With an expression far more grim and pale than I ever thought I'd see in her.
"The fate of this base… is in your hands now, Tamase." The rest hold their breaths, Tama seems to have stopped breathing as she stood frozen in place.
"No… I can't… I'm not… I'm…"
"If the Professor has chosen you above all the pilots in this base, it means you're our best bet to avoid this crisis." She tried to pat Tama's shoulder, but then she moved backwards. Still quivering, she retreated away from us and the Instructor.
"I can't… I can't protect you. I'll fail…"
"Tama, please calm down. Listen to Papa, you can do it. You've been training for this, haven't you?" He tried to get near her, but she kept moving away towards the door.
"Tamase, keep wasting your time and the whole base is going to disappear. Your father right there will die too. Do you want that to happen?" Sensei, as usual, had no intention to sugar coat the situation we're in.
"I can't do it!" Tama sprints away, not even stopping at her Father's hand.
He looks at the door, grimacing at Tama's reaction. The rest are all clearly staring hatefully at Sensei. Sighing, I rub my eyes. It might be for the best to not have Sensei halt this accident, but… it's not pleasant to go through this either.
"…Professor, I do think you're going too far." The Instructor sent a scornful gaze at Sensei, who returned one full of stalagmites.
"Marimo, that only matters if we survive."
"Professor… Why can't we evacuate? Or have someone else shoot it down?" Mikoto stepped up, despite her shaking hands.
"Even if we evacuated, the secondary wave would scorch us to death, and it's not like we have the time to get many people under B10F in less than fifteen minutes. As for why it has to be Tamase, it's because she has the best numbers. She is the number one sniper not only from this base but from the whole Far East Defense Line, I am not exaggerating. But I will only wait five minutes for her, I do have other pilots. However, do let me tell you that this will reflect negatively in your resumes, to run away from duty like this. Now, go and see if you can find her and bring her to Hangar 16. I'll be waiting."
"Everyone, let's go!" I scream as I leave the briefing room.
Before I left, Sensei gave me a faint smile. Everything is under control, huh? Regardless, it has to be Tama. Otherwise, her self-esteem will plummet if she runs away now. Not only for the Kashgar mission but for her own growth as well, she has to surpass that fear.
All of us take a different area, I rush towards Tama's room in the barracks.
"Tama, are you there?" With the sirens booming around, I enter the dark room.
"…What should I do?" I turn the lights on and she her shivering on her chair.
And on the desk, there were the sauntpaulias. Our flowers, the ones that brought us together. Memories of our times, both in my world and in the other loops come back to me. As well as her ends. When she was devoured by the Tanks, when the Superior turned her into a Soldier-Class, when a light post squashed her beyond recognition. Tama…
"Hey. How're you feeling?" I slowly approach her, she's still crying.
"…I'm scared. I can't do this."
"Nice flowers, by the way. It's a wonder they grew so much in a place like this." She looked up with her reddened and teary eyes.
"…Papa gave me the seeds when I enlisted here. They're called sauntpaulias, it took a lot of time for them to bloom. Actually, they got sick not so long ago. They almost withered."
"That's a relief."
"I don't know about that." Huh? Her voice sounded broken, is she not happy that they didn't die?
"Why do you say that? Didn't you take care of them a lot?"
"…They remind me of my Mom. And that makes me sad sometimes."
Her mother? Now that I think about it… I never met her Mom, and they never talked about her when I got into a relationship with her. I don't really remember that much from our relationship back in my world, so I have no idea what kind of woman she was.
"But… You didn't like your Mom?" She rises her head, frowning as I never saw her do, and I unconsciously take a step back.
"Of course I did! She was… I adored her. She was always tending to the flowers in the gardens, back when all of this war was so far away." She again hugs her sides as her gaze sinks lower and lower.
"Then, don't you want to protect that memory?"
"…I can't do it." She slumps into her seat again.
"Tama, I think you can do it. I've seen your progress, I think you have what it takes to rise up to the occasion." I try to speak softly and crouch near her seat. Our eyes meet and the distorted light within her gaze makes my heart tear up inside.
"…Why? Why do you believe that? You could do it instead of me, you're so much better."
"I'm not as good as you. The TSFs have proved that, I'm decent but you're a natural. Have some faith in yourself, Tama."
"I can't do it! I just took my first piloting run, I get… really anxious all the time. If it weren't for the auto-lock, I'm sure I would miss all of my shots. I can't even think, I just shoot! My hands get all sweaty, I can feel this pounding in my head… If you all weren't by my side… Someone like me can't protect anyone."
"Nobody can protect its own life alone, though."
"Huh?" She looks at me again, I wipe the tears of her eyes before continuing.
"Someone once told me that, in my old squad. I don't think it's a bad thing to feel fear, we all get really scared from time to time. Hell, when I started I was such a failure, if my whole squad hadn't got together to get me in form I wouldn't be here today. It's not a sin to rely on others, Tama. Because I'm sure the rest feel the same, they're also anxious and nervous. And because you're behind them, they can rush forward without fear." She shakes her head as she hugs her sides tighter.
"That's wrong. No one could feel safe with me…"
"The flowers do, though. And anyways, we can't run or hide. We gotta face this head on, and I believe you're our best bet, so at the very least I feel safe with you." I smile at her as I get closer, she looks at me, tears falling from her cheeks.
"That's not… I can't…"
"Tama, even if you don't, the Professor can get someone else to do it. But there is a reason she chose you above everyone on the base, think about it. If whoever takes the shot fails, wouldn't you regret it? It's a great responsibility, to defend the whole base. But isn't that what you've been training for? Even if it's fighting the BETA, shooting down an HSST, or defending a base, didn't you train because you wanted to protect something?" I reach out for her head, to try to calm her down. However, she knocks my hand away quite strongly, making me fall backwards.
"SHUT UP!"
"Eh? T-Tama?" Her shout caught me off guard, her eyes were sharp, she was angry as I haven't seen her ever be. I remained still on the ground as a monster spawned itself within Tama's eyes.
"What do you know about me?! What do you know about war?! You were living in America, what do you know of this war?! Don't talk to me like that when you haven't lost anyone close to… Ah…" She stops shouting and starts to cry again as she turns away from me. What did… happen to her?
"Tama, you mentioned your mother a while ago. Does that have anything to do with this?" I slowly get up, minding my distance.
"…Please leave."
"Is that what you truly want?" She nods slowly. "Well… Take it easy then. I'll go shoot that thing down. Or fail miserably at it."
"…Eh?"
I turn back and try to leave but I feel a tug on my back.
"…Why? Why would you do it? It's impossible… W-We're just Cadets, we can't…"
"Tama, there is always a way to make things happen, just that sometimes we can't see it right away."
"But why? Why would you… still try to do something so… so…" She chokes on her sobs, unable to finish.
"You know… I lost everything I had before coming here."
"Huh? You lost… everything?"
How many loops? How many times? How many lives? I don't even know anymore.
"…My base was attacked by the BETA, everyone on my squad died. I was the sole survivor, so I decided that I would fight to bring some peace to the world they left behind." Though it's actually worse than that, since I have my world's blood on my hands now too along all the fuck ups during my loops in the Betaverse. Both from the time I ran away and from this time.
"Your base… Your squad… But then, why did you come here? Why didn't you stay in America?"
"Because this is the place where I can help the most. Someone I respect a lot told me that those who wish to bring forth a change in this world must not look away from their responsibilities and must not waver when they have to bloody their own hands. I don't want to lose everything again, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if that happened. I don't know what you went through, and I won't lie to you. I don't understand you, everything won't be alright, and all of us will be dead in around ten minutes if we do nothing. So, if you think about it, doing something and failing equals the same as doing nothing, right?" I turn around and smile at her, her eyes oscillate around the room.
"What are you trying to say?"
"Is is really the same, though? Even if you failed, do you think we would hate you? We wouldn't have the time, I assure you. But, even if we will disappear, even if this is where we die, I want to live. So, even if I fail, at the least I'll know that I tried and I won't die with the weight of the 'what if' in my heart. I'll take it all in and break through my fears, because I have something worth protecting here."
"…You're strong. I'm not. I couldn't possibly…" She shivers as she wipes the tears off her face.
"Nah, I'd say I'm an idiot who doesn't understand the situation. And even then, I still believe you would be better for this." Looking up at me, shivering a bit, her lips tremble. "Tama, I believe in you. If these are our last minutes alive, would you rather be here, alone in the darkness? Or do you want to protect this base, or at least your father?"
"I… I can't. I'll just…" Her breathing gets rugged.
There's no point in pushing her more. I don't know what's different this time, but she can't do it.
"Alright. Forgive me for being so pushy. I gotta get to the hangar. Bye Tama." I move towards the door and get back to the hallway.
"…Wait."
Tama had her eyes closed with both hands grabbing the ribbon of her uniform, slowly walking out of her room.
"Shirogane-san, do you truly think… I can save Papa? Do you really believe in me?"
"Yeah, I do. And even if it isn't you who takes the shot, if we fail it's all the same. But do you want to be the one to protect him? Do you want to stop that HSST?"
"…Yes. S-So… even if I fail… You all won't hate me?" Tears again fall from her face, what the hell happened to her in this world?
"At the very least, I won't." She takes a deep breath, she's still doubting.
…The Nucleus did seem to be causing some weird stuff in them lately, right? Making Meiya be jealous, even making Chizuru get so bothered by my comment about her eyebrows. Let's see if I can make that work on my favor. I get close to her and crouch in front, diving my gaze into her eyes.
"Say Miki. Why do you want to fight?" She twitches at my question.
"…Eh? Why? I… I wanted to…"
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. But let me tell you why I fight. I want to someday recover my peace."
"Peace?" She makes a conflicted expression as she tries to drive back the tears that just don't stop coming out of her eyes.
"Yeah. I'd like to live long enough to see a world with some semblance of peace back. That's why I would go and try to shoot that thing down, that's why I came here instead of staying in America. Now, I don't know why you fight, but let me ask you something. Would you like to see those flowers blossoming somewhere under the sun?" I try to recall those two years we spent together on that other world. Where we planted the sauntpaulias on the base and got them to bloom.
"I… I don't know… I'm just…"
"Take the HSST out of the picture. Even if just for a little while. Would you like to have your own garden?"
"…Yes. I… do want to. But now…" She's no longer shaking. Please Miki… I grab one of her hands, running a finger on her palm.
"So you do want to have a garden. You can't have that if the HSST falls now." She shakes her head, now looking down but not pulling away. "And we've just begun to get along in the squad. It would be a damn shame if it ended now."
"Yeah… But… I'm scared…"
"All of us are. If that thing hits, then… all we've done will be for nothing. And we're putting the safety of this place on your shoulders. But I'm sure you can go out there and take that son of a bitch down if you put your mind to it." She stares at me, distorted by the tears those eyes of her are having a storm inside of them right now.
"…Do you really think I can do it?"
"Yes, I believe in you. And if you're too scared, you can just shout your fear away!"
"Shout?"
"I normally joke around when I'm nervous, but shouting works too. I frankly just keep pushing on, to someday live peacefully again. I'll despair after I'm dead."
"Despair after you're dead?"
"Yeah. Today's too nice to let my gloom freeze me, even if I can't help but to be scared from time to time." I stand up, not breaking eye contact nor letting her hand go, this time entwining my fingers with hers. "Miki, would you like to have a garden again?"
"…Yes."
"And you want to protect your Dad?" She nods. "Then, you know what you should do if that's the case. Go up there, and strike that damn thing into the sea. For the base, yeah, but for your own dreams too." Letting her hand go, I then pat her head for a second. "We're all going to be there with you, no matter what. That's what comrades are for, after all."
She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. Then opening her eyes, she takes a single, but hard, step forward.
"L-Let's go. I… I'll do it. I will… I will protect Papa! And all of you! I won't… I won't let anyone die! And someday… I'll show him a new garden, like the one we had before." She wipes her tears and shouts loudly.
Despite her shaking frame, her eyes burned with a passion that I've rarely seen in her. Did my little bet work? Regardless, it's good to see her out of that swamp.
"Alright then, we better hurry up. We gotta get to the hangar before the Professor picks someone else."
"Ah! Yes, let's hurry!"
"Well, come here." Getting closer, I then lift her off the ground, carrying her on my arms.
"Huh? A-Ah, wait! Shirogane-san!"
"We're short on time, so I'm gonna rush to the hangar. Hold on tight, Miki." I smirk at her as she trembles, wrapping her arms around my neck as I start to sprint.
"Awawa! Y-You're going too fast!"
"Don't worry, you just hold on. And… Thanks Miki, for being so brave for us." Looking into her eyes and smiling, the hold on my neck tightens as she nods, lips quivering as if it were snowing.
"No… Thank you, for believing in me."
A few minutes after that…
After taking her to the hangar, the Instructor took me to the rooftop where we all gathered again, just like during the first loop. The sun almost halfway under the horizon, the afterglow already setting in, the cold breeze rustling over and moving the reddening clouds, not a word was being spoken. When they saw me and the Instructor come in, the four of them quickly got closer.
"So you made it just in time, Takeru." Meiya smiles at me as she passes me my transceiver. "Is Tamase alright?"
"Yeah, I think she'll be fine. She was really shaken, I tell you, but she agreed on her own. Don't worry, Tama's got this." Smirking at them, all of them also do the same.
"Good boy." Kei, I'm happy that you're happy, but don't pet me like that.
"Sigh… I really hope she's not forcing herself…" Tapping her glasses, she looks at the Fubuki that just appeared on the railway.
"Yeah, it is really unfair to place this on Miki-san's shoulders… To give her that experimental cannon and all…"
All of us then stood by the fence, looking at the weapon and its wielder as we waited. Of course, the rest are tense as hell and super surprised to see the OTH. All I can do is hope… she can push through whatever the hell this world did to her.
"Cadet Tamase, are you ready?" Sensei's voice rings on my ears, the others stiffen up as well.
"Ready anytime!" Tama's firm voice replied.
Sensei gave her the explanation and finishes it with an 'Impress your father, Squad Leader Tamase.", nothing goes unnoticed in this base, huh? So far so good, we still have enough time to fire three shots.
"Loading first shell. Aligning shot. Checking target's trajectory… All green." Tama's voice showed no hint of hesitation. No trace of what had made enough tears to fill up a hive leave her eyes.
"Firing in ten, nine…" Pyatkh announced the countdown, and as if in sync everybody seemed to have forgotten how to breathe. "…Three, two, one…"
BOOM!
And there goes the first shot. Tama loads the second shell.
"Impact in ten, nine… two, one… Target Intact!" She notifies us, clearly tense. No changes to that, huh?
"Two more shots…" Mikoto holds both hands together in a prayer-like pose tightly.
"She can do it." Kei was also tense as she gazed at the sky.
"Actualizing data… Aligning shot…" C'mon Tama, you can do it! After the countdown the second shot is fired, roaring into the reddening skies.
"Impact in ten, nine, eight… two, one… Target Intact! 115 seconds before impact!"
And it also missed. Just like during the first loop.
"Tamase…" The Instructor took off her transceiver and bit her lips. Even if she is super harsh with us, she still seems to at least care.
"You look extremely calm, Takeru."
"Hm? Of course I am, Meiya. Because Tama's gonna take that thing down." She smirks as she heard my answer.
"You have complete faith in her, huh?"
"Don't we all?" The rest finally sigh and recover a small smile.
"Everyone… I will not miss, I was just getting used to this cannon. Next shot… will hit."
"Go for it, Tama!"
"Yes!"
We all look at the sky as Pyatkh announces the countdown for the last shot. Tama takes one last breath and shoots, the rumbling shaking the air one last time.
BOOM!
And as the deafening sound left our ears, as the rest held their hands hard enough to make mountains out of their knuckles… The good news arrived.
"The target has been hit! I repeat, the target has been hit!" Pyatkh said, eliciting a shout from Mikoto and sighs from the rest.
"Great job, Tamase." The Instructor says, back to her usual tone.
"N-No, I could do this because everybody was here…
"Nah, this was all you, Tama. You saved our backs, girl!" She begins to stutter a reply, a sweetheart through and through.
"Yeah, that! You were awesome, Miki-san!" A few tears came out of her eyes, the others finally chuckled at her reaction.
"We're back to DEFCON 4. All units, stand by until further orders are given." Sensei ordered, finally releasing us from this event.
The cockpit of the Fubuki down below opened once it knelt, Tama waved at us from there. We returned it, Mikoto shouting again, until the Instructor took us, and dragged Mikoto, back into the base.
Sigh… We avoided this incident, and Tama managed to do it on her own. Finally… A good roll on the dice.
Same Day. 06:43 PM.
(Launch Pad.)
"This inspection was much more lively than I expected thanks to all of you. As a father, I have not enough words to thank you. Tama, you must cherish these friends you've made no matter what may come."
"Yes, I will."
"And I hope you don't give Squad Leader Sakaki more trouble from now on."
"Eh?!" The rest look surprised. Of course he knew.
"And also… I hope you can find here a path you can walk confidently. Cadet Mitsurugi, please look after her. I'm sorry to impose on you like this, despite my standing." Huh? What's this about? The rest look surprised too, except Meiya.
"It is no trouble. She is a valuable friend, of course I'll look after her." Tama's Dad smiles from ear to ear.
"I see. Tama, take care. And all of you too, good luck in your training."
"Salute!" We all salute him as he boards his ride and it takes off. Tama's hand was shaking a bit, her eyes never leaving his back as he moved to board the HSST.
It must be hard, to just say goodbye like this. But in a way, that is also a blessing. Because someday there will be no more goodbyes to say. Just like how my Tama is gone forever, someday even this fragile gaze of understanding between them will crumble. Someday… her only family will be gone, forever.
To stall that moment for as long as I can, and to do the same for the rest of the squad… That is why I'm here. To lead them to a better life after the war… and try to give them something to work forward afterwards. Sigh…
At least this went well enough. And if I again prevent Alt. V, he won't die either. Even if she's not with me… she'd still have her family and her own dreams.
"Shirogane-kun, what's wrong?"
"Huh?"
"You look so serious, are you alright?" Chizuru looked at me worriedly. I suppose that I was being too quiet.
"I mean… I was just thinking about how nice it is that they can still say their goodbyes, even if they can just salute each other."
"…I see." Chizuru, who lost her mother, must know what I'm talking about here.
"Miki-san, you were amazing! What you took down was even smaller than that!" Mikoto hugged Tama tightly. A lil' bit too… Hey stop! You're choking her!
"Mikoto, for the love of God, control yourself!"
"Well, sorry! I can't be as calm as you! She literally saved the base from being hit by something even smaller than that shuttle!" She waves her arms around as I pull her away from Tama.
"Awawa… Awhawhawha…" Tama starts swaying left and right with swirly eyes.
"Great, now she's nervous again."
"Tamase, you performed admirably. You truly are the Far East's best sniper!" Meiya smiles at her, rubbing her back trying to calm Tama down.
"Mitsurugi, that's wrong." For Kei to contradict Meiya…
"Hm? How is it wrong?"
"She's our sniper. That's what counts. Good job, Tamase." She again starts petting Tama's head.
"Haaauuu… You're gonna make me cry again."
"Tamase, you saved all of us. Be more proud of yourself!" Chizuru patted her shoulders making her finally smile again.
"Thank you. I was actually… really nervous. I could do it… because you were all there, believing in me, giving me courage. I won't hold you back anymore, I'll do my best from now on. So…"
"Tamase, you're always doing your best. Don't cry and look up proudly! You've proved your worth today." The Instructor smiles at her, and after seeing that Tama regained her composure, she turned around and returned to the base, not without giving us a warning. "I think you probably know, but keep the matter of the OTH a secret. As well as all about this little mission." We nod, saluting her.
After returning the gesture, she leaves with a smirk on her face. Then, Mikoto starts hugging Tama again.
"Miki-san, you definitely were awesome today! We're gonna have to improve to catch up to you!"
"No, that's not true!" She was again blushing as Mikoto laughed.
"Yoroi is right. We all have to make our best efforts in the mock battles that will come. We can't hold back Tamase after all." Chizuru winks at her, making Tama look downwards as a blush stronger than the sunset made its way to her face.
"Thank you everybody. Really." She looks at us with shining eyes. Her complexion is the complete opposite of the one she had when she shouted at me, now making the first stars a bit jelly of her smile.
"No. Thank you for protecting us, Tama." She again smiles as she makes a little fist pump.
"But really, your dad is as cheerful as you!" Mikoto comments as we return into the base.
"Yeah, Papa is always trying to smile through all the hard stuff."
"I didn't knew he was someone so important. Forgive all those times I talked down to you, Tamase." Chizuru gives her a small bow, making Tama nervous again. Talking about her Dad…
"By the way, why did he ask you to look out for her, Meiya?" She opens her eyes wide and looks away in a hurry.
"Eh? I'm… I think I shouldn't say." She caressed her ponytail as she looked away.
"It's alright, Mitsurugi-san. I'll tell them myself." Tama stops in her tracks and steps towards the rest of us. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, then she timidly looks up at us. "I am… well… The thing is… My family… is part of the Tozama. We are… or rather were direct servants of the Shogun, when she still was only the head of the Koubuin House."