Chapter 48: Left Behind
May 17th, 1992. 04:32 PM.
(Shirogane Residence.)
[Native Takeru]
"If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous." Maya-nee said, tapping her glasses.
"But what if it bites me and it dies?"
"Then you're poisonous, Takeru. Could you please try to listen and think before asking such questions?" She sharpened her gaze on me, sending a shiver down my back.
I was just asking, why does she always get so mad?
"B-But… But what if it bites itself and I die?" Sumika asked, her eyes trembling at the images on our books. Again with the nonsense questions, Aunt Haruna should stop telling her all those fairy tales.
"Oh, that would be voodoo." Mion answered, caressing her ponytail.
"But what if it bites me and someone else dies?" Sumika then asked. Sigh… She's always saying this random stuff that makes no sense. How do they come up with this ideas anyways?
"Sumika, that's just impossible."
"That's enough, you three." Maya-nee tapped her glasses as she glared at us, making us shut up. "Alright, let's continue with the lesson."
Back in school, we got assigned some homework about different types of animals. Me and Sumika got assigned to cover snakes and mushrooms, but things aren't going too well. Sumika hates snakes, so she hasn't even started her part. And I was just going to mention how both things are poisonous, but then Maya-nee corrected me and insisted on overseeing our work today.
…This sucks. Just when Mion and Shion came to play…
"Takeru, why are you not using the proper kanji again?" Maya-nee came behind me and looked at my paper, squinting her eyes.
"It's bothersome. You only save one hiragana with it, why would I use it?"
"Sigh… Takeru, how many times do I have to tell you a kanji's worth isn't measured by how many hiragana you save when you use it? It gives context, it differentiates similar sounding words. You have to start using more kanji in your writing. Otherwise, breaking the habit will become harder for you."
"…How could anyone confuse it? If I write 'eating a mushroom', what other meaning could it have? And anyways, writing 'ta' is faster than writing the kanji. There's no reason to- A-Aaah! L-Let go of my ear!"
"Takeru… You will write every kanji that you should already know in this assignment, else you get half dinner today and tomorrow." Speaking calmly, but with that quiet, angry tone she looked at me with the scary eyes again.
"Don't be mean, this kanjis aren't useful! If what I write is right, then that's good enough!"
"Stop being so contrarian! You will write it and that's that!" She let's go of my ear and softly smacks the nape of my neck. "Sigh… By the Emperor, why are you this stubborn?"
"I'm not wrong."
"Don't you start pouting. Look at Sumika, she's not only writing as many kanjis as she can, her handwriting is so much more clear than yours." Maya-nee looked at Sumika's paper. She tried to hide it in embarrassment, but Maya-nee gave her an approving nod. "See? You should make a conscious effort to be better like she does."
"That's right, Takeru. You'll never be a samurai if you can't even write your own name." Shion teased me from the kitchen as she ate a manju.
Uuh! You dumb pickle… Fine! I'll write this dumb kanjis! Stupid mushrooms, snakes and all this nonsense. Why do I have to learn this if I want to be a samurai? This is stupid. School is stupid.
"Ah… I think it would be better if you used another page for the comparisons." Mion said, pointing to the paragraph with all the different types of snakes and stuff.
"Hmm… You're right. Thanks a lot, Mion!"
"Mion, do not make his homework for him." Maya-nee sent a glare our way. Mion's smile goes away as she looks down, her face now scared and tense.
"Don't be mean, I'm the one writing. Mion just gave me advice." Maya-nee is too serious when it comes to homework.
She sighs and returns her attention to Shion, while we continue to do this dumb homework.
Around an hour later…
"Uhh… I can't write anymore…" I slump onto the table. My hands hurt…
"Takeru, let me see." Maya-nee picks up my papers and starts reading them.
I sit up again, waiting for her words. I gulp, trying to calm myself a bit. W-What will she say? W-What if she gets mad?
"Hmm… See? You can do it when you try." She smiles for a brief moment and pats my head.
"Then… It's good?"
"Your handwriting still needs practice, but you did use more kanjis than usual. Well done, Takeru."
"Yay!"
"Good job, Takeru-chan!" Sumika raises a hand and we do a high five.
"Now, let me see yours Sumika." Maya-nee comes closer and I also take a peek at Sumika's papers.
…Her letters are so nice. How does she do that small writing while managing to write the things that well?
"Another fine work." Maya-nee nods, Sumika smiles as she taps her fingers together. "Well, you two earned your rest. You all stay inside, me and Haruna-san will go shopping. If anything happens while we're gone…" She taps her glasses again, looking at me.
"…Why are staring at me?"
"You know why, Takeru. No sword fights while I'm gone." Tch, she's so picky. What's the worst that could happen? I already broke the lamp that's outside last week. There's nothing else left to break outside.
"Don't worry, Maya-nee." Shion said, puffing her chest as she came closer. "I'll make sure he behaves correctly." She pats my shoulder strongly while smiling, showing me her teeth.
"But you're the one who's always taunting us."
"Oh? A samurai never puts excuses, Takeru. And you two have never beaten me yet." She then laughs quietly. Uuh! One of these days I will beat you!
"Shion, try not to tease them too much. Overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer after all. Well, you all be good with each other while we're gone." Maya-nee grabs a purse and after looking at us one last time, she goes towards the door.
"Well done Takeru, Sumika. So, what do you wanna do now?" Mion asked, "Shogi? Cat's Cradle?"
"I'm… not that good at Shogi." Sumika lowered her gaze. Right, she does not like that one…
"What about this?" Shion said as she came towards us. "Let's make a juggling competition. The one who can juggle for the longest time gets to pick the game." Again rising a finger upwards she smiled widely.
"…She says that because she's good at juggling."
"Yeah, she's just going to win again and pick Shogi." Me and Mion whisper, nodding to each other's words. Shion, you always do the same.
"Oh? What is it you two? What are you whispering about?" I really don't like it when she smiles like that, showing us all her teeth.
"W-We were just discussing what to do, right Takeru?"
"Yeah, just that."
"Really? You sure you weren't going to start kissing again?" Bringing a finger to her cheek, she started giggling. She's still mentioning that? Why is she so bothered by it?
"S-S-SHION! You promised you would keep it a secret!" Mion rose up and stormed towards Shion, her face was all red for some reason.
"And I am keeping it a secret. All of us here already know of that."
"Sumika didn't!"
"Oh, right. Well, it sucks to be you, I guess." Shion just shrugged Mion off, which made her start spouting steam from her ears.
"Takeru-chan… You… kissed?" Sumika's face was switching between different shades of blue. That lone hair of hers was down and all swirly.
"I was just trying to cheer Mion up. You see, we went to a forest last week and then we got lost chasing a squirrel. Then, Mion started crying, saying we were never going back. So, since I couldn't calm her down, I gave her a hug and-"
"TAKERU, SHUT UP!"
THWACK!
Gwah! T-That hurt… What's her problem?!
"Uuh… Mion, you dumb pickle! Why did you hit me like that?!"
"Y-You can't tell others of that! It was an accident! A secret isn't a secret if you go telling it to others." She puffed her cheeks and moved a finger up and down at me. Well… she does have a point. But still, there was no need to smack me like that.
"That was your fault for being dumb. We weren't that far away but you didn't stop bawling."
"You can be so mean. I was really scared! It was getting dark and all quiet…" She drops her gaze as her voice grows weaker.
"And then, Takeru gave you a smooch and cheered you up."
"Yes, and then… SHION!"
Mion starts berating Shion again, as she usually does. Seriously, why is she so embarrassed about it? Dad told me people give kisses to the ones they like, especially when they're sad or scared. How is that any different than all the hugs I always give them?
"…Takeru-chan." Sumika pulled my sleeve.
"What is it?"
"…Do you like Mion?"
"Yes."
"Eh…" Sumika opened her eyes wide. Her face again swirling through a wave of blue colors, she shivered a little.
"I mean, of course I like her. Just like how I like you, Shion and Yuuhi. Why are so surprised?" I don't get it, why is she looking at me like that? Girls are too dumb to not get this kind of thing.
"…I see. Hahaha… Yes, you like everybody in the same way." What's wrong with her?
"Anyways! Let's do some juggling! Takeru, let's go get the beanbags." Shion grabbed my arm and started pulling me to the stairs.
"I can walk, you know?"
"I do. This is just funner." Ugh, again with that smile…
We go to my room and after rummaging through a box we found the two beanbags.
"You have a lot of toys in here…" She was looking at them like how I look at natto rolls.
"Do you want to take one or two with you?"
"Eh?" Shion looked at me as if I had said a bad word. "Are you sure?"
"Yes. I mean, I don't use them all everyday. And we can play with them when I go over there."
"…You can be nice when you try. Good boy, Takeru." Shion started petting my head, that creepy smile still there.
"I'm going to get angry, Shion."
"Oh, I'm just being a good sister to you. Now, let's go back. I wonder how many times you'll juggle them today…" She said teasingly, winking at me as we leave my room.
We went back to the kitchen and started the juggling competition.
…Shion won again and we had to play Shogi. Since she's the only one that can somewhat play against Yuuhi, this didn't end well.
"Fuhuhu! Looks like I'm the winner again." Shion said as she finished her movement.
"Aah! …I lost… so fast…"
"Don't be sad, Sumika. Shion is really good at Shogi. I haven't won once against her." I pat Sumika's head softly, trying to cheer her up.
"You two can't win in Shogi or Kendo against me. You need to try harder! You'll never become samurais like this!" Shion grinned at us, looking as smug as usual when she wins. Uuh! One of these days I'll show you up!
Me and Mion shared a determined nod and challenged her again.
And again we lost.
"We're back. Kids, where are… Oh, what's up?" Aunt Haruna stared at us.
Shion was smiling with flowers around her face, us three were slumped onto the table.
"You all lost again?" Maya-nee comments as she enters the kitchen.
"They're all no match for me!" Shion said, loud and proud. I would speak up, but having lost so badly I have no energy to do so.
"Well, you can watch TV or something. We'll start making dinner." Aunt Haruna said, leaving the bags on the table, giving us some drinks and a few sweets.
We passed the sweets around and turned the TV on, changing it to the TV manga channel.
Today has been so much fun. Shion and Mion rarely get to visit, and since I have exams coming up Maya-nee didn't take me to Yuuhi's house this weekend. So, they came to visit today. I'm glad they're also nice with Sumika, since we can't play with the others outside of the park.
Dinner was delicious as always, and just a little after we all had finished, Maya-nee's Dad came to pick the pickles up. I don't like him much, he's always staring at me with this scary face… What's his problem?
"See you next week, Takeru. Good luck with your exams." Mion said, giving me a smile.
"Don't you dare to fail, you hear? I'll get bored training alone with Mion." Shion commented, leaving Maya-nee's side and going towards the car.
"I won't. Tell Yuuhi I'll go see her next week. Did you two have fun today?"
"Yes! Visiting you is always fun. Thanks for today, Takeru, Sumika." Mion gave us a bow and Shion soon followed.
After giving each of them a hug, we say our goodbyes. I have to pass this tests or Maya-nee won't let me go to practice. And that means I also won't be able to visit Yuuhi. Mion and Shion got inside the car, and the old man said something to Maya-nee before getting in too.
With a loud noise, the big car zooms away.
"Well Takeru, let's go back inside. You have to wake up early tomorrow." Maya-nee said as the big car became tiny on the distance.
"I know."
"Sumika, we have to go home too." Aunt Haruna went back inside and grabbed Sumika.
"See you tomorrow, Sumika."
"Yes, see you tomorrow." I was going to hug her, but Maya-nee grabbed me and stopped me. Aunt Haruna laughed along Sumika as they went their way.
"Takeru, it's cold so let's go back inside."
"Uuh… I know." Stop pulling me, I can walk.
Now it's so silent. I would have liked Dad to be here today. Yes, next time he comes back we should all get together! Though I do wonder why Mana-nee hasn't come in a long time. Even when we go to Yuuhi's house she doesn't come to say hi. Did she… go away too?
"Takeru, don't forget to go wash your mouth before going to sleep."
"I know."
"And no talking by the window tonight, you have to wake up early tomorrow."
"Maya-nee, I know!" She smiles and pats my head again.
"I'm just making sure you remember. Now, to the bathroom. The tube should be ready for you."
"I know… Thanks Maya-nee, today was really fun!" I give her a tight hug. She could have said no to Mion and Shion coming here, but she didn't and she helped me with my homework.
She smiles faintly as she pats my head, but then goes back to her usual face as she taps her glasses.
"There's no need for you to thank me. I'm just doing what I usually do. Now, be on your way. Otherwise it might get late."
I nod and go to the bath. She's always like that, I'm always the one that bathes first, the one that goes to sleep first. I once asked her to let me help her cook and she locked me in my room. So, if you won't accept my thanks, I'll just keep hugging you.
Well, I do have to wake up early tomorrow. I can't arrive late on an exam day after all. Maya-nee would get super worried if I did that. I just gotta do my best this week and pass all those exams! I can do it!
The Next Friday. 05:54 PM.
(Street.)
"I'm telling you, I'll be fine." Maya-nee was again holding my wrist, though not so tightly, as we went back home.
"Hmm… Well, we'll see in a few days." Why do you not believe me? I did my best so I should be fine.
"Maya-nee, can I ask you something?"
"What is it?"
"Where is Mana-nee? Why isn't she in Yuuhi's house as of late?" Maya-nee closed her eyes for a second, her lips moved a bit.
"Mana is… taking care of someone else."
"Who?"
"I can't tell you. It's something like us, she's there as the retainer of that someone."
"And she can't come visit?"
"Sadly, she cannot. Just like how I can't leave you alone, she also cannot leave that someone alone." Why is she saying 'that someone'? Who is that person?
"Then, can we go visit her?" Maya-nee stops walking and looks at me.
"Sigh… Takeru, Mana is very busy. So, visiting her would only give her trouble."
"Why? Then, can we call her?"
"Takeru… No, she's working very hard and we'll only distract her. When she has some free time, she'll go to Yuuhi-sama's house and you'll see her then." She starts walking again, ignoring my stare.
Where is Mana-nee? And what is this job? Hmm…
As we got closer to home, I saw a car parked right besides our house. It's one of those big black cars that are always in Yuuhi's house. Oh! Maybe Mana-nee came to visit!
"T-Takeru, don't run!"
"But someone came to visit! Don't you always tell me that it's not polite to keep people waiting?"
"Why do you have to remember my words at the most odd times?" She still keeps my wrist in place, not letting me rush towards the car.
As we got closer, someone came out of it to greet us. And I could see a familiar face, dressed in a white dress of the samurais.
"Uncle Koetsu!" I break free of Maya-nee's hold and run to his side. He crouches and hugs me back. "It's been so long! How have you been?"
"I've been fine, Takeru. I've been fine. How about you? How's school?" He ruffled my hair softly. Something is weird about him though. He's sad. His eyes are squinted as if he were cutting onions and his smile is not his usual.
"Are you okay, Uncle? You look sad." He opens his eyes wide at my words, but then laughs softly as he keeps ruffling my hair.
"As expected of Miho-san's son. Aren't you a sharp one, Takeru?"
"Good afternoon, Kurosawa-sama." Maya-nee came to our side and gave Uncle Koetsu a bow.
"Good afternoon, Tsukuyomi. May I come in?"
"Of course. Takeru, let's go." Maya-nee grabs my hand and we go inside.
Unlike how he usually is, Uncle Koetsu comes in quietly and sits down without making much talk. He's weird today. He's sighing a lot, his eyes move around as if he were looking for something.
"So, how have you been lately Takeru? Is everything fine?"
"Yes, I'm doing fine in school and I'm getting better at Kendo."
"Oh, can you beat Mion and Shion now?"
"…Not yet." I look away, puffing my cheeks. Those two are too good, I always end up sitting on the floor trying to keep up with them.
"Haha… That's good to hear. It's good that you're healthy." Uncle gazed at me, though something feels weird about him.
"Uncle, is anything wrong?" He looked down for a second, licking his lips.
"Well, I don't know how to say this so… I suppose being frontal is the best way to do this." His voice sounds dry, he then takes out a letter from a case he had on him and passes it to Maya-nee. "The news came just a few days ago. Between the bureaucracy and all the papers, I couldn't come deliver it any faster."
What is this about? Why are his eyes so cloudy? I look at Maya-nee, that's reading the letter. Her eyes turn sharp, focused as she makes that scary look she does when she scolds me. What is in the letter?
"Takeru…"
"Yes?" D-Did I do something bad?
"Listen to me closely, okay?" What is wrong with her? She looks like Sumika when she sees a spider.
"What's wrong?"
"Takeru, your… your Father was… killed in battle, along the rest of Takahisa-sama's squad."
…Eh?
Dad was… killed?
By the monsters?
…Eh? B-But… But he said he'll be alright. T-The samurais were all there with him… Why?
I look down as my eyes gets filled with tears. My hands tightly turned into fists, I clamp my mouth hard. It's a lie. Dad couldn't have… He was… He promised he would…
It's a lie.
It has to be.
I mean… Dad couldn't have… He isn't…
"Takeru…" Maya-nee pats my head, then grabs my chin and makes me look up. "This letter here… is from your Father. He left you a message alongside his will."
"Eh? Dad did?" B-But…
Maya-nee hands me the letter, that was written in a smaller paper compared to the other, bigger one she had on her hands.
My dear Takeru.
If you're reading this, it means Dad has gone to meet Mom and Grandma.
I know I couldn't be with you much, and that you must be feeling all alone right now, but I want you to know that you always gave me courage to keep fighting every day. You and your mother were the best thing that ever happened to me. If I left you alone, it was only because I had to do it to keep you safe.
Dad is going to go fight the monsters in only a few hours. It's not going to be easy, even with all the samurais here. But I won't run away. If you're reading this, it means that I lost. But I fought for you, Takeru. To keep you as safe as I could.
I love you.
I always did. You and your mother mean the world to me.
My only regret was not being able to spend more time with you and Miho when I could. Forgive me for never being there for you when you needed me.
Takeru, even if you're alone, even if Dad is gone, I want you to be strong. You have to keep smiling like you always did, like Mom would have wanted you to do. I only wish you can be happy from now on without me.
Life isn't over for you Takeru.
So, please promise me you'll do your best from now on. Live, Takeru. Live as happily as you can.
Be grateful to all the people that have helped you and make sure you repay their kindness. Please give Tsukuyomi-san and Koetsu my regards in my place.
Forgive me for not taking you to eat sushi on your birthday as I promised.
Forgive me for not taking you to see Chop-kun's show like you wanted.
Forgive me for leaving you.
And thank you, for giving me my happiest moments.
Thank you, for being always so cheerful.
Thank you, for being with Miho when I couldn't.
Thank you, for always calling me on my birthday.
I love you, Takeru. I only hope that all I left behind is enough to give you as happy a life as you deserve.
Goodbye, my son.
Kageyuki Shirogane.
When I finished reading it, the letter was dirty with my tears and snot, and all wrinkled up by my shaky hands.
It's a lie. Dad isn't dead… H-He and the samurais were… Hic… He promised… he would come back…
"…It's a lie."
"T-Takeru… I know it must be hard, but this isn't a lie. Your Father is-"
"It's a lie! Dad promised… He promised he wouldn't leave me! And he never lies!" I throw the letter to the floor and stomp on it. Dad didn't write this! It's all full of lies!
"Takeru, stop! That's your Father's last latter to you!" Maya-nee grabs me tightly from under my arms.
"Let me go! This is all a lie!"
I struggle but she's holding me tighter than usual. As that same feeling, that cold and hollow feeling I felt when Mom went away, comes back to my heart I stopped struggling.
And I cry. It has to be a lie… Dad wouldn't… He wouldn't…
Maya-nee hugs me and pats my head as I cry onto her.
I don't know how much time passed until I calmed down, until this needles stopped poking my heart.
"Are you calm now, Takeru?"
"Maya-nee… Is Dad… really gone?" I looked up at her, and my last little grain of hope was crushed as she nodded, looking as calm as always.
"Yes, your Father passed away." She said as she brought her hand to the back of my head.
"Takeru, please sit down and listen." Uncle Koetsu said, he was tightly holding his entwined fingers together. "Since Kageyuki is dead, that means you're now an orphan."
"An orphan?"
"Someone who doesn't have parents. And, well… You're nowhere close to being an adult, so someone has to take legal custody of you now."
I didn't get a single word of that. What does it mean to be an orphan? Am I… going away too? Are kids without parents bad?
"I don't get it." I look down as my hands start to shake. Am I bad? W-What's this about?
"Don't be scared. Well, since you have no blood related aunts or uncles, you would have to go to your grandparents. But, well… I talked with Kageyuki's parents before coming here and… they didn't want to accept you." Dad's Dad was alive? He never told me of them… I always thought Grandma was the only Grandma I had…
"Why do they not want to see me? I mean… I never knew I had more Grandmas or a Grandpa." Uncle Koetsu grimaces, closing his eyes tightly.
"That doesn't matter. The thing is, the laws can't force someone to take legal care of a relative if they refuse to do so, after the change a few years ago. So, that means that… You would have to go to an orphanage."
"What's that?"
"Think of it as a home for kids that lost their parents."
"B-But… But why do I have to go there? This is my home, I can stay here." It makes no sense. I have a house, and Maya-nee is here. I'm not alone. Dad… Dad might be gone… B-But I'm not alone!
"Takeru… You see, you can't stay here if you don't have a legal tutor with you. You're a kid, so you need someone to look after you."
"But Maya-nee is here." I look at her and… she looked away, closing her eyes.
"Takeru." Uncle Koetsu said, looking at his hands. "Neither me nor Tsukuyomi have a blood relation with you. So, we cannot take you into our custody."
…What is he saying? Maya-nee has been taking care of me since Mom went away.
"But… Maya-nee has been here for-"
"That is different. She was here hired by your Father to look after you. She's a retainer, not a familiar."
"Then, are you saying you want me to go away?!" I hit the table, Uncle brings his hands up in a hurry.
"No, I didn't say that! Please calm down and listen, Takeru. We cannot take you under us right now because we're not relatives to you. But there is a way for you to stay here, and that is… well, to get adopted by someone else."
"Adopted?"
"That means that someone takes you into their family."
"Then, why can't we do that?" I look at them, both look down avoiding my eyes and moving their lips weirdly.
"You see Takeru, to formally take custody of a child the laws require a number of things. First, a single person can't adopt a children, to avoid certain people from… well, doing bad stuff. I am engaged but not married at the moment. My fiancee is still fighting the monsters, so until she comes back we cannot get married. And Tsukuyomi is single as well."
"So… So you can't adopt me?"
"…Yes, that is the case."
"T-Then… Then, can't Aunt Haruna-"
"Takeru." Uncle Koetsu speaks up in a high, serious tone, making me shut up. "Even if Haruna-san was already married and has a child, she does not have the income to support two children. That's another requirement, if one is to adopt a child, said person needs to have the money to provide the child with all the necessities he or she might need."
"Then… Then…" I start shivering. That means… That means… That I'm alone.
Uncle Koetsu can't, Maya-nee can't, Aunt Haruna can't, Dad's parent don't want me for some reason.
But this is my home. Why can't I stay here?! This is stupid… This laws are stupid! The adults are being unfair!
"But this is my home! Why can't I stay?! Why?!"
"Takeru, nobody is taking your home from you. You'll just have to go somewhere else until someone that can take care of you wants to-"
"NO! This is my home! Why do I have to go away?!"
"…Takeru." Maya-nee tapped my shoulder. She looked at me with her usual serious look. "You cannot be here alone. Without your Father, the rules say that you need someone else to take care of you. Neither me nor Kurosawa-sama can fill the role, according to the rules. But… But once you find someone…" She couldn't finish. She looked down, her hand on my shoulder is trembling a bit.
"Maya-nee?" Is she… going to leave? She… She too…
"Takeru, listen." Uncle Koetsu said, bringing my attention to him. "Some people might say that finding a family for a ten year old kid is hard, but even if some people pressure you, you have the last say in it. If anyone treats you badly, you don't-"
"…Why?"
"Eh?"
"Why do you want me to go away?" Again, tears fall down. What did I do wrong? I passed most of my tests, I did all my homework, I didn't fight with anyone… Why do they want me to go away? What did I do?!
"Takeru… Sigh… If you ever need anything from me, all you have to do is call. I might not be able to do much, but I have a huge debt to repay to your Father. The social service should be coming in a few days I believe." He stands up and comes to my side. "Takeru, once you grow up, if you ever need me, I'll be there for you. And if anyone ever treats you badly… You tell me, and I'll take care of it. I'll leave my number here, okay?"
I can't even nod. He's going away too, I'm sure. They all seem to hate me now that Dad's gone.
Maya-nee was here only because Dad hired her. Uncle Koetsu was a friend of Dad. Now that he's gone…
"Takeru, you just… don't get too down about this. Just think the orphanage is a small vacation from school until you find the right person to form a family with again."
"And what if nobody wants me?" He bit his lips, his relaxed eyes got all wrinkly. See?! The orphanage is a bad place, and you want me to go there! You're all horrible… What did I do wrong?
"Just… Just know that if you need me once you're bigger, I'll be there for you."
Uncle Koetsu pats my head, I think he said something more but I didn't hear him well. Maya-nee went with him to the door. But then I heard another voice, an older voice arguing with Uncle Koetsu.
Looking up, I saw Maya-nee's Dad coming into the house with loud, heavy steps, dressed in the red samurai dress. He looked at me with that same stern face he always has.
"Maya, pack your stuff." He said without looking at her.
"Eh? F-Father, I-" Maya-nee looked nervous, but her Dad sent a look at her and she grew quiet.
"Did you not hear me? Pack your stuff. You didn't have much things here, if I'm correct. Shouldn't take too long."
"However-"
"Maya. I told you to go pack your belongings. That's an order."
"…Yes, Father." She bowed to him and went to her room in the back.
…Packing. That's what you do when you leave somewhere.
So… So Maya-nee is leaving too.
That's… Hic… This is…
I look down, clawing at my knees, bending my pants so hard they might break.
What did I do wrong? Why are they leaving? Was she only here because of Dad? Then… Was all she told me a lie?
…Where will I go? Where am I going to sleep? What about school?
"Shirogane."
I look up and see the sharp turquoise eyes of Maya-nee's Dad. His long beard in the same color, a small mustache and eyes that were more cold and piercing than Maya-nee's staring back at me with that scary look he always has.
"Go and pack what's most important to you. You're leaving now."
"…Eh? B-But…"
"Did you not hear me? You're leaving now. Go and pack already."
"Sir… I believe the social services will-"
"Kurosawa, I think you're overstepping your boundaries right now." The old man turned around and stared at Uncle Koetsu as he folded his arms. "Your time is up, you said your goodbyes to the kid already. You have no more business here. I'll be taking care of this. Leave."
"However, sir, taking him by force is-"
"I'm just taking him to the nearest orphanage. I'm doing our society a service, sparing the social services the work of coming here. That is all there is to this. Leave now, unless you have anything to say to me?"
Uncle looked at me once, biting his lips. Then after shaking his head slowly, he gave a bow to the man and quietly went towards the door without looking back.
"Shirogane, go and pack your belongings."
"…Uncle Koetsu said… that the people would come later…" I tried to say something more, but his glare made me look down, my mouth suddenly coming shut. A knot on my stomach prevented me from talking.
"And I'm telling you you're leaving now. Don't make us waste our time, go and start packing already!" He hits the table really, really hard. Maya-nee sometimes does that too, but never so strong.
…Why? Why is he being mean to me? What did I do wrong? Hic… I didn't do anything bad…
"Stop crying already. Go to your room and begin packing henceforth." He grabs my arm and drags me to the stairs, then pushing my back he makes me go up some steps.
I stopped at times, but I was too scared to look back so I kept climbing the stairs. Legs shaking, I went back into my room.
…So am I leaving? When will I come back?
…Am I coming back? What if… What if I never come back?
T-Then… I grab my small bag that I use when I go to Yuuhi's house.
But… But it's too small… I can't take my toys, or the books Mom bought me, or most of my clothes…
Why? W-Why…
"Hic… W-Waaaaah!" I don't wanna leave! This is my house! Why do I have to leave?!
Dad, why did you leave me? Why did you go away? Why is everyone trying to make me go away? I don't get it…
Kneeling by my bed, I rest my head on it as I cry. This isn't fair… I did nothing wrong… The adults are all mean… I don't get it! Why do I have to go away?
I hate this… This rules are all wrong… If only I were bigger… They're all wrong… Why do I have to leave?
"Takeru?" I hear the door opening and some steps coming closer "…Takeru, we have to go." Maya-nee shakes my shoulder a bit. "Come on, I'll help you pack some stuff."
"Don't bother, Maya. Waste no more time on this peasant. We've taken long enough already, let us go."
"Father, do you plan on sending him away with nothing on him?"
"Why should we care? Or, what is it? Are you going to oppose your Father?" He raised his voice a little. Why is he so awful with us?
"…I am merely-"
"Maya, bring the boy downstairs. It's high time you returned to your rightful duties. We're leaving. Now."
Why does he sound so angry? What did I do to him?
I hate him.
I hate him.
I hate him!
"Takeru… Please, let's go."
Maya-nee pulls my arm softly. She's going to leave me… Of course, she still has a Dad. And Mion and Shion. They're… her real family.
I grasp my sheets tightly. I don't wanna go… This is all wrong… This isn't fair…
"Takeru, please…" Maya-nee patted my head softly. "This isn't the end. You still have your whole life ahead of you. Let us say goodbye with a smile, please."
"…No. I don't wanna leave."
"Takeru, even if it isn't now, the people of the social services will come for you. That's just the way it is. It's the rules we live by."
I hate that. This isn't fair. The rules are all wrong.
"If all of us only did what we wanted, everything would fall into disorder. I cannot imagine how hard this is for you, but please Takeru… Let's go in peace."
"…Will you come visit me sometime?" I look at her, she closes her eyes and shakes her head.
"I will be going back to the samurais, so I won't be able to visit you." She stopped and crouched by my side, then she brought me to her and she gave me a hug tighter than any she ever gave me. "This… This is goodbye, Takeru."
I don't wanna. I hate this.
"…Let's go, Takeru."
Maya-nee grabs my hands and I get up slowly, without looking at her. She softly pulls me away from my room, away from my house. I look at her, but she avoids my eyes as she looks forward.
In the end… I'm all alone… No one will visit me…
I feel as if I had just went outside during winter with only a shirt on, as if I had ants walking all over my back. I try to not cry, and that makes my neck hurt.
Mom… Dad… I-I'm scared…
A/N: And with this, we've reached the end of the first batch of new chapters. Once I'm happy with the drafts of the next chapters, I'll start bringing one a day until we're either back to the prior point this was at pre-rewrite or I take another small break.
Regarding the story, so far I've placed more flashbacks, both from stuff of the old The Days Before arc as well as some D&R bits, in this rewrite which has made the word count shoot up more than it was before. How did these long flashback segments felt? I'm mulling over on how much of D&R to put in here, to either keep doing two or three long flashback chapters every so and so, or to do a single character-centric flashback chapter, despite it probably ending up being really long.
Also, on a side note, I've not been entirely on the best mindset as of late and I'm sure that reflected on the writing being more angsty than before, especially in the case of Chapter 40 and Takeru's interactions with Kei before the fight, as well the openings of Ch. 37 and 39. A simple warning that some stuff might come out crude and raw, more angsty than before for sure, once I redo the old Paranoia arc. If I end up going overboard and make either Yuuko or Yuuhi OOC, let me know if you have the time.
As usual, thanks for reading. Stay safe.
Zuoriel