Weddings and Good-byes New Year's Eve 2012
The women stayed at the Cowan Estate, tending to the final preparations for the wedding, which was to take place at eleven o'clock and finish at ten minutes until midnight, giving everyone enough time for the traditional New Year's kiss. The guys were supposed to get the Potter estate finished for the New Year's Eve Party.
The party was to be a formal one, so when the guys were all in their tuxedos, no one looked at them oddly; although most of the male guests were in formal dress robes. The girls' would not attend the ball until after the wedding, when it would be a Wedding Reception. Cake would be cut at half past midnight and if everything went right, they would leave for their honeymoons by three AM.
The first to arrive were the original members of the DA, who were all asked to come in an hour before the other guests. Neville and Luna, ever hand in hand were the first to arrive with his gran and her dad following close. Seamus Finnegan and Hannah Abbot were paired off as was Dean Thomas and Pavarti Patil, Terry Boot and Lavender Brown, and Michael Corner and Padma Patil, followed by Zariah Smith. When the original members all arrived, Harry asked them to come into the Estate's Dining Hall to speak to them for a moment.
"Tell me there is no horribly evil dark lord trying to kill you again, Harry." Seamus said with a note of sincerity, "Because I am really hoping to not have to fight again for a long time."
Everyone half laughed. Long gone was the innocence of ignoring bad situations. Harry first explained to the group that just two weeks prior, Seamus and Hannah had brought in a toddler named Kristi, whose parents were killed in an unprovoked robbery by four Muggle gang members. The little girl had no family and no one knew who her godparents were.
Seamus had seen the end of the attack and physically fought three of the four gang members while Hannah had fought the fourth. When the Muggle police arrived, the baby was in Hannah's arms and they acted like it was their child until Inspector Maples arrived. They were smart enough to know that a child of magic heritage had no business in the Muggle Welfare System. At this conclusion, applause broke out. Only when they had quieted down did Ron stand to address the crowd.
"It's been just over five years since Tom Riddle was defeated. I know you all thought we were a bit daft to have run the way we did, but you all kept the peace and were a major reason in our coming back. We could not imagine letting children grow up and become that kind of person so our future generations would have to do what we had to.
"We got the glory, but none of us were really sure we could handle the kind of constant publicity. The secrecy it takes just to go to dinner is terribly inconvenient. Neville and Luna have experienced some of it." They nodded.
Draco picked up the train of thought. "I know we weren't close in school. I also know that I spent six years not realizing how lucky Harry and Ron were to have people like you in their lives. But tonight, with you here, I believe that I will make up some of that to you." He smiled a genuine smile at the thought of Madison being married to him.
Mason spoke, "There's a few other things you should know. But look, I didn't really get a chance to know you during school. I know you have a rich history which these three, as Draco said, some of it apparently was not the kind of history you want to remember." He gave his blonde friend a lopsided grin. "But, tonight, we will be going to the Cowan Estate for a second party of sorts. At 10:28, you will hear a special bell, when you do, walk through the door under the staircase. It will take you to the second party. Don't be late. It will seal itself at 10:58."
Harry stood as Mason finished the instructions. "There will be NO photographers there. There will be no media of any kid, except Colin and his team. Just be ready for some fun that is not what you expected. Anyway, we will kind of disappear around 10:15 to be sure the second party is ready, so can you all help us be sure everyone knows what to do?" The crowd gave their agreement, as he sat and they talked until the rest of the crowd began to arrive for the party. The other guests started arriving at 9:00 PM on New Year's Eve. In droves they came; apparating to the main snow covered lawn, flooing into the special fireplace set up inside the Sitting Room.
The party was just getting into full swing when the rings summoned the four men to the Cowan Estate. Their fiancés were in their rooms with several elves each, a parent or two and the excitement radiated through the house. Narcissa helped Hermione. Rowan had double duty with Katie and Madison, who had decided to have a truce with her mother for the sake of the weddings; and of course, Molly was in Ginny's room. Finally, a great bell sounded in the Potter Estate. House Elves and DA Members were ushering everyone through the door, which had been linked to the Cowan Estate.
The four young men took their places at the head of the ballroom as people were brought in and began taking their places. Each wearing a perfect tailored tuxedo. Special seats were set aside for the families of the couples. The DA was given five rows of seating, and everyone else would fall in behind them. When the guests realized what was about to happen, the four could hear shrieks of excitement. Colin had coordinated twenty hired photographers and videographers. All of them were to take as many pictures as Wizardly possible in the half-hour long arrival and almost hour-long ceremony.
At 10:55, the last person entered the Cowan home. At 10:57, that person walked to the front of the hall accompanied by Chaplain McHargue. Ron rolled his eyes when he realized that last person was Professor Dumbledore whom he imagined had ushered in anyone who did not go promptly through. The music began as the doors opened at the back of the hall. Everyone stood. The men at the front of the room began to bounce on their heels trying to get the first glimpse of the woman he had given his heart to.
Arthur Weasly had a petite figure dressed in white with a long veil on his arm. As they walked, Harry's heart pumped so hard in his chest that he was sure she would hear it. Her train was long, at least twenty yards long and was perfect in its flow behind her. She carried a beautiful bouquet of greenery and purple iris. They matched Harry's cummerbund perfectly. Not that Harry noticed when they came to a stop in front of Harry, who was farthest to the right of the men. She did not meet his eyes; her head stayed looking at the floor. Her body shook slightly.
Next were Remus and a larger figure. The veil was short and the dress was form fitting, without a train, and strapless. She wore gloves and carried a bouquet of red and white roses. She seemed to almost tremble with excitement. Relief washed over Draco as he watched the woman he loved approach him on her father's arm. She met his eyes with a hunger only Madison could have for Draco.
Sirius entered proudly with Hermione. Ron gasped loudly when he saw her dress for the first time. It was a contrast to the others. Long sleeves, pearls adorned every part of it. The train was long, but conservative. She held a group of flowers of Carnations in reds and yellows mixed in with two small black rosebuds, in memory of her parents. Her face was covered in a veil of softness. She met his eyes as they stopped in front of the handsome redhead. She gave him a smile as they waited for the final entry.
Katie entered on the arm of Lucius Malfoy. Her brunette hair, pulled up with soft ringlets falling around her perfect face made a contrast. Her dress was elegant. Soft sequins and lace fell to her tiny feet. The train was just touching the floor behind them. Her bouquet was dotted with more small black rose buds in memory of the family she no longer had. The orchids mixed with peach and white roses were held in shaking hands.
At long last, Chaplain McHargue called everyone's attention to the ceremony. He asked who gave the women to be wedded. Each man proudly accepted responsibility in the unions and watched as the couples joined hands on the dais, before returning to their seats. Rowan was seated between Sirius and Remus, both of whom reached out and took one of her hands. She looked at the hands, took a steadying breath and pulled her hands away from the both, clasping her fingers in her lap.
The men's eyes met briefly as they realized that she looked like she had lost weight. He could feel the distance between them as they watched their children get married. Remus sat with pride watching the only child he would ever have be able to give away in marriage.
The ceremony was beyond beauty. When Chaplain McHargue finished the introductions and the Christian part of the ceremony, Dumbledore stood and approached each couple. The couples knelt before him as he produced four long silk cords. He wrapped each cord intertwining their hands before moving on to the next couple. When at last Harry and Ginny's hands were bound, he stood and addressed the guests.
"Many of you realize that when a Witch and Wizard are married, they are bound. But the old laws state that when a titled Sorcerer is bound to a titled Sorceress, there are certain guidelines which must be followed. The most important being there be at least two witnesses, which I believe that we have that one covered.
"That they must be bound by a witch or wizard whom they trust, which again, I believe that one we are good on as well." A small laughter filtered through the guests. "And lastly, that each must tell their partner how they feel. They must do so before the assembled guests."
Mason and Katie stood first. His speech was short, but Lavender cried with the beauty of his words to her. She reciprocated and Seamus felt a tear slide down his cheek.
Next were Madison and Draco. Neither wanted this part, but was bound by the laws of the life they chose.
Ron and Hermione stood next. The crowd seemed to be on edge until they heard what he said to her. "Hermione, I can only tell you that from the first moment you told me I had dirt on my nose, that first day on the train, that I have loved you. I never really knew what that meant until we were in fourth year and you went out with someone else. I have never wanted anyone or anything as much as I do you. You are my beginning and my end. You are the answer to the prayers I pray at night; the one who has held my heart for eleven years. I will be honored to be your husband through every crisis that comes. You are the reason I breathe. You are the reason I fought and continue to fight. You are my conscience and my heart. I love you Hermione Jane Granger."
"Ron, I remember the boy on the train. It is so hard to believe that you are standing before me now. Your heart, as that of a lion, beats the truest rhythm I have ever heard. You have saved my life repeatedly. Never to seek credit or glory, just to be sure I survived to realize my love for you. We are blessed to have found each other and survived to be here. I will spend every day of my life by your side. I promise to never allow the sun to go down on a spat with you. One day, we will have beautiful red-headed children. They will be reared in a home with the love that we have shared for so very long. I love you Ronald Bilious Weasley, and I am honored to take your last name."
Harry and Ginny waited until the others were finished. Ginny spoke first. "Harry James Potter, when I was a little girl, my parents told me about you to help me go to sleep. I dreamed of this day more often than any other. Of course, I did not truly believe that it was possible. I kept the dreams hidden. In my first year at Hogwart's you save my life. Those dreams resurfaced that summer. I could not talk around you. I tried every known way to keep you from my heart. But the truth is that I never loved another nor trusted anyone else. When you finally noticed me during my fifth year, it was because once again, I was in trouble. Of course it was with my studies, but you still rescued me. Our first kiss outshone the stars in Heaven. I think the angels sang that day. We have fought, side to side, back to back and even each other. But our hearts have been joined since you first saved me almost ten years ago. I am honored to be your wife and take your name. I love you Harry James Potter."
"Ginerva Molly Weasley, how I love the sound of that name. For so long you were the sister of my best friend, always were around but out of reach. I used to watch you and wonder if we would ever just have a conversation. During your OWL year, I would sit and watch you in the common room, follow you to the library. I missed meals because you would be sitting in just the right spot and I would be so content watching you that I would forget to eat. Everyone here tonight has wondered if it was possible for us to survive long enough to see this day. There is no one else I would want by my side for the rest of my life. There is no I want to see as the mother of my children. There is no one better suited to my soul than you are. I promise that I will always fight with you, but not against you. I promise that as you teach me to love, that I will always be a willing student. I love you Ginerva Molly Weasley."
Dumbledore stood once again "You may kiss your brides." With trembling hands, the men raised the veils and leaned in for passionate kisses. The crowd erupted into applause and cat calls. Finally, the couples broke apart. Huge smiles replaced the fear of a few moments ago. Harry and Ginny, followed in order with the other couples left the stage area and made their way to the Ballroom for the Reception.
As Dumbledore and McHargue left the wedding area, the clock began the first of its twelve bells. The group screamed 12, 11… 3…2…1…. HAPPY NEW YEARS!"
And it was. It was the happiest new years any of them had ever seen. Lucius kissed Narcissa. Steven kissed his daughter on the forehead while holding young Seamus.
Sirius kissed Remus before making quite the production of pulling Rowan's hand, twirling her around before dropping her into a deep bend. Their eyes met briefly as he leaned in to kiss her. She flinched slightly before turning her face; forcing him to kiss her cheek. Embarrassed by her lack of involvement, he looked at her for a moment, and then brought her back up; finding many people was staring at them. He didn't care though, seeing the wedding reminded him of the first time they had married. She said nothing when she walked out of the ballroom.
Sirius caught Remus' eyes and for a moment had no idea what to do. Rowan's brother, walked to him. "Follow her. That's what she wants. Tell her you love her and you're an idiot. Make the effort soon, or you'll not have the opportunity to do so again." Sirius looked at him for a moment, and then walked out of the ballroom as well.
She went straight up to her suite, changed clothes, and pulled her Nike's out and set them carefully on the floor. Her suitcase was almost packed. She went to the bathroom and was putting her makeup in her bag when she heard the outer door open. She held her breath for a moment and did not make a sound. Only when she heard the door close again, did she move. Finishing gathering her things, she returned to the bedroom and walked to the suitcase. "Going somewhere?" The deep voice asked from behind her.
She stiffened only for a moment and continued put the last of her things into her suitcase. She put the makeup bag in and closed it. Ignoring him, she walked to the edge of the bed, bent to get her shoes, slipped them on and tied them. Then standing fought off a wave of nausea; steadying herself, she pulled on her sweater, grabbed her suitcase and began walking to the door. The voice was between her and her escape. "I asked if you were going somewhere."
She looked up; knowing he was close to her, but said nothing. He watched her. His arms were crossed and he still wore his tuxedo. 'Damn it, he is still gorgeous.' She thought, but still said nothing. She turned a bit to the left, and made to walk around him. He side stepped. She glared at him. She moved again, and he blocked again. This went on for three more attempts before she stopped. "What?"
"Where are you going?"
"It's none of your business."
He looked at her. He had made many efforts to talk to her. She ignored him. It had been weeks since she told everyone how she had cheated on him with his best friend. Why was this suddenly his fault? "I've made the effort; you've turned away every time. I've tried on several occasions now to talk to you. You keep walking away. And why is your destination none of my business?"
"Just let me pass, please."
"No."
She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He knew she was getting angry, which was good, because at the very least she would talk to him; even if it was at the top of her lungs. He waited for her to speak. She said nothing, just glared at him. She pulled her suitcase's handle once again toward the door, this time; he backed up against the closed door. She reached around him to the handle. "Move."
"No. We need to talk. Our children just got married. You can't just leave like this."
"Can't leave? What I can't do is this now, Siri, I don't feel good. I'm tired and I don't want to have this conversation with you. I can't take you watching me during my morning runs, or think Steven and I are having an affair. I can't pretend to have it in me to take any more of your horrible thoughts about me. You can have your son and Remus' daughter. I can't find it in me to care anymore. They're adults. I'm done."
"They don't want you to go. I don't want you to go."
"I seriously can't do this anymore. Don't you see? They don't need me anymore. Madison has made her feelings quite clear; she can't forgive me." She looked at him, drawing in a deep breath, to fight the tears, her voice suddenly in a whisper, "I'm slipping Siri, I can't do it again. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'm sorry I hurt Remus. I hurt the kids. I hurt everyone. I lied. I am not the wonderful woman I pretend to be. It's entirely my fault, every bit of it. Now can I leave?"
He looked at her and rolled his eyes. Her voice suddenly returned to a normal volume, "What else do you want from me? A kiss to show off for the crowd, maybe a declaration of your love in front of everyone even when we haven't spoken for almost two months? Come on, get a grip Sirius." He took her hand from the doorknob, sending a tingle down to her toes. She shivered when she looked down to see his hand holding hers. When she tried to pull it away; he held it tighter. "I can't do this… can't you understand? I don't have anything left to give you or them." Her words were barely above a whisper as she tried to maintain her resolve.
"Well, I have something I want to tell you and you can damned well listen. I don't give a great big rat's behind what you can or can't do, who you fucked, before, during, or after our time together. We agreed to give us a chance. We can't do that if you leave."
"I'm sorry, my mind, what's left of it, is made up." She said coldly.
"My God, Rowan, you throw things in my face and can't understand when I need time to sort them out? I spent twelve years ALONE with only my thoughts to keep me sane. Think about this for a moment. Even after I escaped, I was alone for the most part. The past four years were the first consistent human contact I have had! Give me a break!"
She pulled her hand from his, backing away from him. Her voice now in a rage, he could see the physical change in her as well as hear it in her voice, "Give…you…a…" she didn't finish the thought. When there was some distance between them she started again, she could feel her shift in her personality, but was unable to control it. "I am trying to give you and everyone else a break from me. You don't want to know me any better than you do now."
She paused and tried to regain her control, but was once again unable to as her voice became louder and more angry, "The kids were right when they told you that I had moments of insanity. They match yours, but I don't have twelve years in a cell as an excuse. I don't have any excuses at all for my actions. I did them, can't change them, but you know what? I wouldn't if I could. Everything I have done in the past twenty years has revolved around you or the children. Now they are grown and married. You are… well… maybe you are exactly what I needed, but now I have to leave…it's not about you, it's about me. I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE... I HAVE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!" She finished in a near panic.
He stood, arms still crossed, he wasn't smiling. He wasn't smirking. He just stood there listening to her rant and rave at him. Her words came out at a rate that made him think that they were just random thoughts that fell out of her. He listened to her. He watched her as she paced and talked. She didn't make sense. He came to only one conclusion. He loved this barmy woman.
Before this mess, he rememebered as she had helped him out of his dark places and decided one way or another, he would have to help her. He dropped his tux jacket, tie, cummerbund, and cufflinks to the floor, turned, while she was talking, and sealed the door and a silencing charm on the room; then waited until she was close enough to the bed. Timing it right, he rushed her, picking her up, and slammed her full body on the mattress.
She was too shocked to say anything. He hadn't hurt her, but was now restraining her. He straddled her hips, preventing her from throwing him off. She bucked and yelled indignantly. He continued to hold her down. She kicked at his back, raising her knees to make contact with his back. He flinched as she connected, but did not move off of her. He saw her eyes dilate and turn an orange color, he knew her anger was rising, he half wondered if she would be hurling curses at him next.
He held her beneath him. "Rowan STOP!" He commanded. She opened her eyes wide at him. In all the years she knew him, he had never really raised his voice to her. Lowered it, yes, had a cutting tone to it, but rarely yelled… it had always been her that did that to…him. She stopped fighting, still breathing hard, and looked up past him, not meeting his eyes. He saw her eyes retract and the color return to normal. He studied her for a moment before asking "Why didn't you just throw me off?"
"Obviously I couldn't. Or hadn't you noticed that you are bigger than I am?" She snipped at him.
His eyes narrowed, "Why didn't you use your magic?"
"Because I don't have any," her words were barely above a whisper, as though afraid of saying them out loud, "now would you please… get off me?" He looked at her, without moving, "Please, it hurts and it's hard to breath with you there." He moved off of her, releasing her wrists. She rubbed them as she sat up, and tried to fight off another wave of nausea.
"No…magic? When did this happen?"
"It doesn't matter..." she stood and ran directly into the loo, vomiting the bile that the fight had brought back up. When she finished, he handed her a glass of water and wet towel. She accepted them, and then turned away.
He didn't say anything at first. "How long have you been sick?"
"It doesn't matter."
"Yes, it does. How long?"
She looked up at him; she was still sitting on the tiled floor, her back against the cool side of the bathtub, "Since the nightmares started again. Since my loving son and Godson had to bring up everything that happened."
"How often?"
"Pretty much every time I see you, or think about you, or hear your voice...or wake up in the middle of the night..."
Let me get this straight," he offered her a hand up, which she accepted gratefully. Once steady, she walked back into the bedroom. He followed her, choosing her words carefully, "So because you have no magic, you think it is okay to seal our home to me and Remus? To make everyone hate you and then have an excuse to leave?" She didn't say anything. "Is that it Rowan? Is that why you're so rude to everyone? You've been physically ill for six or seven weeks and when you see me, you get sick again?"
"Open the door Sirius. This conversation is over."
"Perhaps, but we are far from over. You aren't leaving here." She sighed with his words.
"Open the door, now." He said nothing. "Please…open the door." He made no move at all. She turned to look at him. Her body hurt from being thrown on the bed, held down, fighting him and vomiting; she raised her hand to rub her neck, "I can't do this. I don't know how to explain this to you."
"Find a way! Don't just leave…"
"The past few weeks, I've just slipped farther away… I don't know how to make you understand. It's like there's this safe place in my mind. When I try so very hard to deal with everything, I just can't and I sink farther into the pit. It's worse now than ever before… the darkness that I have to fight leaves me no place in your life right now. I tried to fight it, I swear, but the memories, the… I can't fight it alone anymore. I need to go away from here, where I won't be reminded of… everything. I'm sorry Siri… but there's nothing else to talk about."
Her headache was threatening again. She sighed, walked to the table and took a long drink of water. She knew getting mad would make the pain increase. He still watched her. "Please, Siri, just… let me go. I don't feel well, and I am going to miss my flight if I don't leave soon. I won't be able to say good-bye to the kids before they leave on their honeymoons. Please, let me out."
"But where are you going? If you will give me just a minute to change, I'll come with you."
"Haven't you been listening? I…don't…just… open the door." Defeated and confused, he raised his wand and released the spells. She grabbed her suitcase and pulled it behind her. A house-elf was waiting to put it in the car for her, "Thank you," she said to him as they walked down the stairs.
The party was in full swing as she made her way through the crowd, speaking to each one of the newlyweds, before she turned to leave. Sirius was watching her, but talking to Harry. She walked as far away from him as she could, put people between them. When she could finally see him no more, she turned and slipped out of the ballroom, out the front door and into the driver's seat of her Mercedes'. Locking the doors, she started the engine and pulled away from her home, children and the only two men she had completely fallen in love with.
Sirius saw her at the last moment and ran down the long driveway after her car; knowing he could not apparate into a moving vehicle. He didn't see that she had only gotten a few kilometers away, before she pulled to the side of the road and cried until she could not see.
When he stopped running, he put his hands on his knees to catch his breath. His mind rolled over the conversation which had taken place so recently. He realized that she was without magic now and whatever was going on in her mind he worried that she would not be able to come back from it. He had a lot of things to think about. He let her slip away from him again; to return to her dark place of protection and he could not help her.
When her flight landed in Dallas, she rented a car and went straight to her home. When she got out of the car, her brothers were waiting to help her with the bags. After a conversation that explained how they had beaten her there, (Thank you Dobby), she went back out to get her purse.
It was still dark, but the light of the moon was bright. There next to the car stood Sirius. Taking a deep breath, she sighed. "Hello Sirius."
"Rowan, please, let me stay and help you through this."
"Siri, I love you. I love Remus. I know my future is with the two of you. But I can't function anymore. I need time to heal and deal with everything that keeps being brought up. I cannot go on like this anymore. Please, go home. Take care of Remus."
He took a step towards her. She took a step back. "No, Siri, just go. When I am okay again, I promise I will find you, no matter what. But I have got to learn how to live with all of this... pain, anger, and hate. I have to get the control back again... and I can't do that in England. Just go home and love Remus. I'll be along when I can, I promise."
"Don't forget that promise Ro. We'll be waiting for you." She nodded through silent tears and watched as he apparated away.
In the months to come, when they were asked about Rowan, neither would not discuss her. Both Remus and Sirius stayed away as a general rule, wanting to get to know them, but being angry at the reason she had left him. His thoughts of her were reserved for the time when he was alone. The only real decision either had made was to let her be for now. Sirius used the time to get to know his son and godson; making peace with Remus and Albus. They both missed her every day they were apart.