This is Only a Test
Don't ask me where this came from. The Marks and Spencer advert came on and I realised how annoying some adverts could be. Hence, this…
Disclaimer: Don't own a thing, dammit.
Kyo flicked on the television.
"Damn Marks & Sparks adverts."
This is not just semi-skimmed milk. This is semi-skimmed full-cream milk. This is not just semi-skimmed full-cream milk. This is Marks and Spencer semi-skimmed full-cream milk.
Kyo's eyes widened, his head tilted and his lips became suddenly dry.
"Damn… Marks & Sparks… adverts…"
Kyo spread out on the floor, laid on his side. He was still watching that damn M&S advert, not really noticing that it was longer than usual.
Suddenly the TV gave out a high-pitched and long bleep.
"Oh, damn," he growled.
This is only a test. Please do not readjust your set.
Kyo sat up, legs crossed like an innocent child, and twiddled his thumbs.
He waited…
And waited…
And waited…
And…
Gave up.
"To Hell with this! Those damn Marks adverts are just made to tempt you!" he scowled.
Momiji bounced into the room. "HA! Kyo's gone. Now I get the television."
He plopped onto the same spot where Kyo had previously been sat. Out of the blue, his eyes widened and he leapt at the screen, hands either side of the set.
"OOH! MY PEOPLE!"
Duracell Extra now have more energy, so he'll last longer… you know what I mean?
Momiji jumped up and down, staring at the pink Duracell bunnies.
"MY PEOPLE! TAKE ME WITH YOU! PLEASE ACCEPT ME AS ONE OF YOUR OWN! OKAY, SO I MAY HAVE A HUMAN BODY, BUT I HAVE A RABBIT SOUL!"
This is only a test. Please do not readjust your set.
"Aww! Man! Just when I was THIS close to being adopted…"
Momiji left the room.
"Hmm, this is strange," Haru thought aloud. "Usually everyone's fighting for the TV."
He strolled over, looking cautiously at the screen.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm looking out for additives."
"Additives?"
"Yes. You see, Anchor Spreadable has no additives."
"Found anything yet?"
"No, I don't think so, but there's an unknown object over there which looks like a cloud with legs."
"That's a sheep, Moo."
"Oh."
"I'm not… really that dumb … am I?" Haru wondered. "Or maybe it's implying I have a split personality. How ridiculous! Give me answers!"
This is only a test. Please do not readjust your set.
Haru wandered away, still thinking about himself.
Yuki sat down. "Hmm, I wonder what's on."
Ooh, baby, baby. Baby, baby.
Doo doo doo doo doo, Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
"New Tease. Act on Impulse."
Yuki wiped away sweat from his brow. "It's just an advert. Don't… even think like that."
Kyo stuck his head around the corner. "Did you just get turned on by the Impulse advert?"
Yuki jumped. "NO!" he exclaimed. "Don't be stupid."
Kyo shrugged and let Yuki be.
He quickly turned back to the tube.
"Ooh baby, baby. Baby, baby."
This is only a test. Please do not readjust your set.
Yuki cussed to himself. "Guys, there's something wrong with the telly."
Hatori looked. "It's only a test."
Suddenly Momiji squeaked, "It did that when I was watching it, too."
Kyo agreed.
"Hmm, do you think Akito would allow us to throw it out?" Yuki pondered.
"Let's try. I mean, it's a pile of junk anyway."
So the Sohma family lifted the set together. They screeched and threw it into the yard.
"Done," Yuki boasted.
"Does anyone agree with me: you guys sounded like monkeys," Hatori speculated.
Suddenly, the Sohma's heard the broken television.
"Go wild, with Sure deodorant for men."