Chapter 52: At Square Zero
May 23rd. Near 10 AM.
(Guest's Room.)
[Native Takeru]
Maya-nee came to wake me up really early today, to have a light breakfast just the two of us. After that she took me to a room that looked like an office where Yohime-san and some other samurais were, and there we waited for a while. When the people from the social offices came, they started asking me a lot of questions but in the end everything was fine.
Yohime-san had to sign a lot of papers, but she told me not to worry. Smiling as always, she said I would keep my last name, something about how nobles can't just adopt common people out of the blue or something. According to her, since Dad was their fellow, whatever that means, I now was also a fellow of them. I don't really understand it well, but it must be like with Uncle Koetsu. People you like become almost like family or something.
After that, Yohime-san said it was time to arrange some important matters and, after we gave her a bow as usual, she left the room along the other samurais. Me and Maya-nee were told to go to another room, since we had to meet someone else now. Yohime-san had said this person would help with these 'important matters'.
"Is this about something bad, Maya-nee?"
Remaining calm as always, she replies, "Nothing of the sort. Someone else has come to meet us, is all."
"Who?"
"I wasn't told. Let us make haste, you have to start your preliminary classes today after all."
I narrowed my eyes at her as we picked up our pace, Maya-nee also doesn't seem to know this time. Which is weird, why wouldn't they tell her who we're meeting with?
Reaching the other office, Maya-nee opens the door and we enter. Inside, a gaze of light blue eyes looked at me as we got in. Sitting on a chair on the right side of a table, the person in question nodded my way after Maya-nee closed the door and came to our side, giving us a bow.
"Good morning, Tsukuyomi. As punctual as ever."
"…Yoroi-san. Are you the one who has come to speak with us?"
"Yes, that's right. Yohime-sama asked me to… gather some intel regarding the little boy. Do not worry, I am not going to be pressuring him much."
I peeked from behind Maya-nee, staring at the smile of the woman. She's weird, everybody else is really stiff when talking with Maya-nee but she's really calm now.
"Well, let's start," Maya-nee moves to sit down while I follow her, as the woman also returned to her chair. Then, after tapping her glasses, she looks at me, "Takeru, this person here is Yoroi Koume-san. Do be honest with your answers."
Yoroi-san gave me a smile and a nod, "Good morning, Shirogane. I am Koume Yoroi, it is good to meet you."
Her short cyan hair slowly moved, letting the lone, long strand of hair on her left side to dangle down her shoulder. Wearing a business attire similar to those people that appear on TV but in pale blue, the rather petite woman kept smiling as she looked at me.
"Good morning, Koume-san. But my name is Takeru, don't call me Shirogane,"
She giggled at me, I puffed my cheeks a bit. What's with her? "I was told of this preference of yours… It is intriguing, to think you'd allow this, Tsukuyomi."
"Sigh… I have tried to mend his rudeness, alas he refuses to change his ways," I pluck my lips at Maya-nee as she again gives me a rather worried glance.
"So… What did you want to talk about, Koume-san?" I look back at Yoroi-san, who again smiled at me while she giggled.
"Don't worry, I'm merely going to inquire about your life for a moment."
"…Okay. So, are you a samurai too?"
"Samurai?" She said, looking a bit confused.
"Takeru refers to the Royal Guards with that word," Maya-nee stated, tapping her glasses again.
"Oh, I see. Sadly, I am not a samurai. I am… someone more suited to work in the backrow," She then made a rather weird grin, a hand going to her lone, long strand of hair.
"Backrow? Like the pieces of Shogi?"
"Ahaha… Well, something of the sort. I am good at… catching people by surprise."
Maya-nee now looked rather serious, a hand on her chin. It's really weird, she's usually so cold but this time she's keeping quiet. Who is Koume-san? What does she do in the 'backrow'?
"Well, as I said before, I came here to ask you some questions, Takeru," Koume-san leaned onto the table, locking her fingers together, "First, allow me to ask, would you be interested in going to live with your grandparents?"
Eh? They… But they said that… Feeling a shiver on my knees, I remained quiet for a moment as I looked down.
"But… But Uncle Koetsu said they didn't want to be with me."
"Yes, that was the case. However, it seems they somehow found out about… your father having joined the Royal Guard," Koume-san narrowed her eyes, twisting the edge of her lips.
As she heard the words, Maya-nee's nose got full of wrinkles for a second, almost closing her eyes as she made a small groan. I don't get it, what has that to do with anything?
"So, due to the new laws passed some years ago, you can refuse to go with your family now that they refused to take you in before. However, the decision is yours. What would you like to do?" Koume-san asked, tilting her head.
"No, I'm staying here," I then hugged Maya-nee's arm, really tightly. She moved a bit, somehow surprised at my fast reply.
"I see… Well, that's it with that, I guess," Koume-san leaned back into her seat, sighing.
Maya-nee looked at me, back to the usual calm face, but said nothing, "Ahem… Yoroi-san, what other matters did you wish to discuss?"
"Let's see… There are some questions I wanted to ask you two, regarding Takeru's acquaintances."
She then asked us of who we were friends with on Hiiragi, so that she could explain my situation to them and the school once I get 'officially' adopted.
"Yoroi-san, might I propose a suggestion?" Maya-nee said as I finished telling Koume-san of my last week back home.
"Hm? What is it?"
"Would it be possible to place Takeru under the training program of the Tsukuyomi House, reporting it as an early induction due to his circumstances?"
Huh? Training… as part of her house? As if… we really were family?
"…Why do you wish to do so, Tsukuyomi?"
"Considering our… losses from a few years back, the Tsukuyomi House has been looking for recruits to train as guardians for our Security Forces," Losses? Did they also fight the monsters some years ago? "If Takeru were inducted, it wouldn't be far off for him to be appointed to our House as our protegee. This would also allow him to retain his surname without arising suspicions, which would make your work easier, would it not?"
"Maya-nee, didn't Yohime-san said she was going to adopt me? That I was one of you already?"
"Yes, that is the case. However, we must present the papers in the right way to not cause her unnecessary trouble, Takeru."
"…I don't get it. Will I be part of your family then?" I grab her arm a bit tighter, feeling a few feathers tickle my sides when she gives me a faint nod.
"Well… It is a possibility that's available to us, is all I'm saying," She taps her glasses, trying to sound composed again.
"Ahaha, worry not," Yoroi-san waved a hand as if she were one of those small cat toys that seem to bring good luck, directing a nod to Maya-nee, "We will take care of this, Takeru. So Tsukuyomi, may I hear your thoughts on this matter?"
Maya-nee nods and lets some air out, shifting in her seat a bit, "Perhaps, this whole affair should instead be filed as an early induction without any sort of hidden meanings. His father having perished under service to our House and his family refusing to take custody of Takeru, instead of being sent to an orphanage the House offers to take care of him under our own training program, since he is the son of one of our fellows. That is not unheard of, albeit rare. Even more so for a commoner. However, I believe it would be the best course of action, to not burden Yohime-sama or your fellows."
"Maya-nee, would Yohime-san get in trouble for adopting me, then?" If I'm giving them problems… Maybe this isn't a good idea.
But then she shakes her head, patting mine softly, "Nothing of the sort, this is no trouble. However, should we arrange your situation in this way so that you fall under the Tsukuyomi House's care. It might not seem too different from your eyes, but it is easier to manage the papers for us if we proceed in this way. Are you… against it, perhaps?"
"Of course not! I'd love to be part of your family," I hug her arm really tight. "But why is it easier?"
"…Let's simply say it is easier to justify you becoming a samurai if you join the Tsukuyomi House," She said, not wanting to speak more.
I still don't get it, but I'm really, really happy. So I'll be really part of her family from now on… I feel my chest flaring up, like when her or Dad praised my test scores, the cold slugs all over me running away, leaving only the feathers around.
"This would mean we still need to report his stay here as him being a recruit after the paperwork is filed," Koume-san said as she looked at some papers she had on her, "Are you certain he will meet the requirements to be inducted into the Royal Guard?"
"…Takeru made his voice clear as the sky. You can speak with Father if you wish to hear his opinion on the matter. In any case, it would be less troublesome for us if we presented the matter in this way, provided Takeru does manage to meet the expectations desired of a Royal Guard trainee."
"I am going to!" I puffs my cheeks as I tug at her arm. Maya-nee sighs again as she looks at me.
"In any case, Takeru, is there anything you would like to bring from your house in Hiiragi here?" Koume-san asks as she rests her chin on a hand.
"Hmm… My book about poetry, some of my toys, and a picture of Mom and Dad. By the way, am I going to visit my home soon? Can I see my friends over there?"
"…After you finish your tests, I suppose," She smiles slowly, the softness of a spring breeze reflected in her words, "Now then, allow me to inquire about your studies in your past school. How has he been faring so far?"
Then, we tell her of my daily routine back home in detail along the last tests I took. Koume-san doesn't seem to be a bad person, she doesn't have those scary eyes or that harsh tone in her voice. Still, Maya-nee remains as serious as before. Koume-san then asks me about our Kendo lessons, and I tell her of the stances Maya-nee taught me and what we did when I came to the dojo here.
"It is good to see he has confidence in himself. It is such a shame we don't have any free time…" She looked down, almost closing her eyes, looking as sad as a dog looking at an empty bowl.
"Hm? Is something the matter, Yoroi-san?" Maya-nee asks.
"Oh, nothing much. You know, my husband always wanted to have a boy…" She smiled wryly, running a hand over her hair as she looked down.
"Do you have kids, Koume-san?" Maybe we could be friends if she does.
Her smile waned, her hand seemed to slightly tighten it's hold over her hair, "Well, yes. But regardless of that, I have one last question for you, Takeru. If you don't manage to become a Royal Guard, which path will you-"
"I will become a samurai," I narrowed his brows at her, letting my tone be like Maya-nee when she gets upset.
How was it that the book said? A small pebble soon to become an avalanche tumbling down if she says I won't, that's how I tried to sound.
"…I see. I do wish you good luck, Takeru," But she smiled back, not intimidated at all.
Maybe I should have tapped my brows like Maya-nee does with her glasses… That always work with the bullies back at school.
"Tsukuyomi, I'll come meet with you once the papers are properly arranged. I shall be contacting you for advice on how to file this induction if it happens. However, I do not know whether I will come back to bring the papers, so do expect my husband to come deliver them."
Husband? I wonder what kind of person he is. Maya-nee… tensed her brows and lips. She doesn't like him.
"…Is there no way you can deliver them yourself, Yoroi-san?"
"My, Tsukuyomi. It sounds as if you didn't want to meet Sakon for some reason," Her smiled curved like a moon, giggling for a while.
"I merely have trouble dealing with him," Maya-nee taps her glasses, sending a sharp gaze at Koume-san.
"I do know he can be hard to understand from time to time, but please be patient with him. Well, I have to be going. Takeru, good luck in your trainings," Yoroi-san came closer and offered me a hand.
I softly grabbed it and then shook it with my usual spirit, "Yes, thank you. See you later, Koume-san."
"See you later to you too. Tsukuyomi, we shall be seeing each other in due time," She gives us a bow and then we exit the room.
Yoroi-san goes into the hallway to our left, towards the gate, while Maya-nee took me to another hallway.
"…Maya-nee," I pull her sleeve as we walked.
"What is it?"
"What is this about papers? Is it really that much work?"
"We need to present the right papers to send you to your new school, regardless of whether you become a Royal Guard trainee or not."
"Okay. So, why did Koume-san come to ask me so many questions? What is that backrow she said she was?"
"Do not worry about those matters, Takeru," Mmgh… She closed her eyes and looked forward, making her fringe move a bit, "We told you before, this is to properly explain your past school of your situation. We have to follow the regulations, otherwise this will only cause us trouble."
"Hmm… I see," I don't buy it.
"In any case, there is something I want to ask you," I look up at her, unlike how she usually is Maya-nee delayed her question for a second, "Are you certain you do not wish to meet your grandparents? You might never get another chance to do so."
"…They weren't there for Mom and Dad, so I don't want to see them," I tightened my hold on her hand as I puffed one of my cheeks. "And I'm with you now, so I'm not sad anymore," Relaxing a bit, I leaned on her arm.
Smiling as we walked, I slowly took some breaths as I calmed down. Maya-nee seemed to be smiling a bit, until she realized I was looking at her.
"…In any case, let us make haste to your classroom. We have to give you the customary explanation."
"I see. Say Maya-nee, am I really gonna be part of your family if I become a Royal Guard?"
"Well… One could say that you'll formally be recognized as our protegee, just like how you were these two years."
"…I don't get it."
"Well, don't worry. Simply focus on what you can do now. Let us make haste, your classes should start soon," I nod and we start walking a bit faster.
She then guided me around the house, showing me where the baths were, where the dining room was, how to get to the backyard and garden, reminding me I couldn't play or break anything here now as I groaned back at her, and then we returned to the room we'll use as a classroom.
"Well then, Takeru. I have to attend to some matters, so I will leave you with the professors here. Do behave as you should."
"I know," She then pats my head before leaving.
I sit where the books were put on a table, an old woman dressed similarly to Maya-nee then entered the room.
I wonder how this will go… But I have to pass these tests too. I coil my fists for a second, breathing deeply. Remembering Mom and Dad for a second, pursing my lips really hard, I opened my eyes and looked at my new teacher.
"Well… I shall be your teacher in math and arithmetic for these coming months. Shirogane, how far were you in your classes?" She seems nice, at the least. But, she does teach math.
"Um… We were doing stuff with fractions and some graphs."
"Can you show me?" I open a notebook and start making one of the last problems from the last test. The teacher grasps her chin, her eyes growing smaller, "I see, it seems you're far behind than what I expected. What are they doing in the commoner's schools anymore…" She then shakes her head and sighs, seemed to be really bummed for some reason.
"So, what are we going to be doing today, Sensei?"
"Do you know what the words sine, cosine and tangent mean?"
"No."
"Well… Looks like this will be a tall ordeal. Open that red textbook on page thirty four."
One very long, and painful, math class later…
"I suppose this is all we can do for today. I recommend you practice on your free time."
"…Yes."
I hate this. What is this even? We were making some stuff with one or two letters back in school, to try to see what number X was, but this is nuts. I wanna dive under a pillow and cry, these problems are too hard! Who even thought about this?! Stupid math, stupid equations…
"Ahem…" The teacher placed her books under an arm, looking at me, "I know this might be too hard for you, Shirogane. However, let me tell you that this wasn't what the other young heirs are seeing. You're still far behind them, so if you wish to become a Royal Guard you'd be well served in polishing your knowledge."
At least she had patience with me, unlike the teachers back in school. Yeah, she wasn't a scary teacher.
"Yes, Sensei. Um… Why does everything have to do with math?"
She narrowed her eyes a bit before answering, "Well, most, if not all, of our endeavors are reliant on mathematical operations. Let me give you an example you'll understand, when you go buy groceries you need to know how much money you can spend, do you not?"
"Yes, that's right."
"Then, when you buy clothes, books, silverware, you also must know how much they cost to see whether you can afford them," I nod, "You also need to know how much of a certain ingredient you use when cooking as well, am I right?" I nod again, "So as you can see, numbers surround our everyday life. And to make sure everything regarding this House is kept functioning, we need to have our numbers polished. Once you learn more, you'll see how important it is to be well versed in math. I was not told about your situation in much detail, but you'd do well in doing an earnest effort to bridge this gap in knowledge you're facing."
"So I just gotta study hard, right?"
"No, just reading won't be enough. To properly gain the knowledge you study, to properly apprehend these concepts, much practice is required on your end. Let's see how you progress these next days first, however. Well then, I shall take my leave here."
"Okay… Um, thank you very much for your help, Sensei," I give her a bow like how Maya-nee taught me to. She briefly smiles before saying her goodbyes and leaving.
Is Maya-nee coming now? I'm kinda hungry… Two hours of math, this was a lot. Did Dad also had to do this when he became a samurai? How did he learn all of this?
…And despite knowing this hard stuff, they still lost. Even if I want to, I can't ask him anything anymore… What went wrong? Dad… wouldn't break a promise so easily. I wonder if I could learn how to always win if I'm good at math.
…But studying alone is really hard. Will my classmates be nice? Or, will they be like Kazora-san? I wonder how they manage to understand all these things…
Imagine Sumika trying to solve this. Jouji would rip the paper in half as he screams or something! Heh, of course they'd do something like that. This is so nuts, after all.
…
"…How are they now?" Did Sumika try to visit me? How will they be when they find out I'm not going back?
…They won't forget about me, right? We're still going to be friends, right? I rest onto the desk, burying my face into my arms.
After a short while, another teacher came into the room. This one was a short man who was wearing glasses and a black suit with a tie like those people that sometimes appear on TV giving those really long speeches that Maya-nee hates. I stood up and gave him a bow, he nodded at me.
"Good afternoon, Shirogane. I will be your teacher in your classes of Civic Education."
"Civic… What is that?"
"You never had Civic Ed classes before? Were you never taught how the Parliament works, about our laws and such?" The man tapped his glasses and his voice sounded as if he was trying to scare away a stray dog.
"Hmm… Do you mean Social Studies maybe?"
The man furrowed his brows and then asked me to tell him what I knew of that. He didn't seem very happy about it.
"Sigh… What have I done to be put on this position, Yohime-sama…"
"What's wrong, Sensei?"
"…Nothing. Open that cyan book, we'll have to start from the beginning. I hope you behave as you should, we have much to cover it seems."
"Um, can I get something to drink? I didn't have a break during math class."
"No, you'll get your break after this class is done with." Eh?! But… How long will this class be? What if it's another two hours? "Now then, let's start."
Same Day. Around 6 PM.
(Hallway.)
"It was really hard! They only gave me twenty minutes to rest too."
"I did tell you the regime was going to be severe," Maya-nee said as we went to the dojo, "What did you think of your classes?"
"I hadn't seen anything of what they showed me today. It's all really hard to understand."
"…If you do not wish to continue under this course, you can simply say so Takeru. You don't have to force yourself if this is too much for you."
"But then I won't become a samurai. It's really hard… But I'll do my best!"
Maya-nee looks at me for a moment as she stops, then she sighs, "You do not need to force yourself. The same applies for the lessons in the dojo. Don't push yourself needlessly."
"I'll be fine. I won't give up," Dad told me to do my best so I can't get down so easily. And… if I give up, I may end up alone.
I don't want that to happen, not when I might really be a part of your family from now on. I would like to talk with Sumika and the rest… I don't want to stop being friends with them… But… I guess I just gotta study until I pass these tests, and then I can call them or something.
Once we arrive at the dojo and enter, I see Mion and Shion were already here. Kazora-san was here too, he came towards us as we entered.
"Welcome. Maya, the girls are ready to train. I shall leave them under your guidance."
"Huh? What about Takeru, Father?"
"I shall look over his efforts myself," He said as he gave me another of those scary looks.
"Father, I am Takeru's-"
"Not anymore, Maya. You're no longer a retainer of his now that he has joined us. He's but another servant, and no one deserves special treatment. Shirogane, you'll come with me to the other end of the dojo after you've changed into the gear. Maya, I leave the little ones to you."
Maya-nee pursed her lips as she looked at her Dad, she then looked at me for a while and then gave a nod.
"Takeru, do as Father says. No getting angry."
"I know, Maya-nee," I puff my cheeks, you always tell me the same whenever we come here.
I go to the changing room and put on the arm and leg guard. Once I get out, I saw Maya-nee watching over the Pickles as they begin to practice. Keeping an eye on their duel, Kazora-san, who was already in the armor too, approaches me.
"So… What are we going to do, Kazora-san?"
"It's Tsukuyomi-sensei for you, Shirogane. How many times do I have to tell you?"
"But your name is Kazora… If I called all of you Tsukuyomi you won't know who I'm talking to."
"I believe you were told you had to cease this foul habit of speaking back you have. You shall refer to me as Tsukuyomi-sensei while we're here. Now, take your stance," He took some steps away, getting his pose done.
What did I do to him? Why does he hate me so much? Back home too, he was awful to me and Maya-nee. He's horrible, I don't like him. Taking some steps back, I do the pose Maya-nee always taught me to use.
"Are you ready, Shirogane?"
"Yes!" I said as I tensed my feet to charge forward.
He blocked my attacks without problem, even when I took that step back Maya-nee told me to do sometimes. Coming forward and doing two swings at me, I barely manage to block them somehow.
He keeps advancing, doing just a few swings. Forced to keep going back and back, I can't stop him. He then did a rising slash at me, sending my sword away like Maya-nee always does. I again end up sitting on the floor.
"…So this is all you can do? You think you can become a Royal Guard with this meager skill?"
"I just have to keep practicing!" I say as I stand up and go look for my sword. I return to face him, taking my pose again.
"That won't be enough. Mere effort cannot bridge the lack of talent."
"Then… Then I'll keep doing my best."
"Sigh… Shirogane, perhaps you don't realize it yet, but you don't have the time."
"Huh? Time? Why do I need a watch to be a samurai?"
He shook his head again, another bothered gaze coming my way, "No, I was not speaking about a watch," His tone sounded like Maya-nee when she scolds me. He relaxes his pose, bringing his sword to one of his shoulders, "You see, you have until the end of June to show us where your talents lie. If by then you're not deemed worthy, you shall be sent to a school where you can hone whatever skill you possess. So, if that happens, you'll never become a Royal Guard."
"Eh?! But… But that's just a month away!"
"Precisely. I suggest you give up on this futile dream of yours. I can see you're nowhere near the skill necessary to become a Guard from this one bout. It would be more productive for you to focus on learning something that is in alignment with your natural talents, something that will aid you more in the future. As is, you're just wasting our time here," Again, his tone got all serious and cold.
…I know that I'm not that good. But I wanna fight like Dad, I want to be like him. And… And I don't want to leave either, I want to stay with Maya-nee, Yuuhi, and the Pickles. I'm not going to give up just because you tell me to, dummy old man.
Puffing my cheeks, taking my pose again and pointing my sword at him, that makes him shake his head again. Then, Kazora-san takes a different pose now, similar to the one Maya-nee showed me once with the sword above the shoulder.
This time, he attacked faster than before. It was like when Shion is on a bad mood. I'm just holding my blade tightly and planting my heels firmly on the ground. My hands start to hurt a lot just from parrying the swings.
But… If he's like Shion… He'll take the step back in just a while! Then, as I watched his attacks while barely parrying them, I saw that he was moving for a downwards swing. I parried it, almost tripping backwards, then he took the step back. But I could tell he was going to and I kept pushing forward, taking one step and swinging my sword at him with all I had. But then…
SWISH!
He reacted super fast and sent my sword flying again, making me fall backwards.
"Hmph… You fell right into my trap. You can't even tell when an opponent is baiting you."
I stared back at him as I got up, frowning. I did my best… It's not my fault you're already so good… You're not like Maya-nee, you're just beating me up. You're no different than the school bullies.
"Father, I do not think this will bear any fruits," Maya-nee got closer and helped me get up, "Takeru, are you unhurt?"
"…Yeah, I'm fine."
"Father, this is not what you were supposed to do. He's learning nothing from this."
"He's learning how much skill he lacks. I am the one who'll oversee his training for this month. Stand back, Maya. Shirogane, go pick up your sword."
"Father, please. What do you-"
"Maya, Mion and Shion are waiting. Leave him to me, that's an order. Do not forget, I am the Head of the Tsukuyomi House as of now. My orders are absolute," He sounded really scary, Maya-nee gave me one look and went back to the other two, that were also looking towards us. But they didn't say anything. "Shirogane, waste no more time and go for your sword!" Why do you scream at me? I didn't… You're…
"You're… You're…"
"What? Speak up, kid. I cannot hear you. What is it?!"
"You're just a bully! You're not teaching me anything!"
"Oho, so that's what you think. Clearly, you are not made to be a Guard."
"Why are you so mean? Were you like this with Dad too?!" His hand moved weirdly for a second. Looking up, once more he put his sword on his shoulder.
"…You're as uneducated as him, as well. Do you think that you'll become a good Royal Guard by shouting in this manner? Or, have you given up on the practice?"
"Uuh… I'm not giving up!"
"Then, go for your sword. I want no more whining from you until you can assess a hit at me!"
I bit my lips as I went for my sword, groaning much. Taking my pose once I got back, this time going for quick attacks to finally hit him once.
…
In the end, I couldn't hit him once. He kept winning in no time, sending me to the ground and my sword away. Always saying I was never going to be a samurai, that I wasn't good enough. I'll show you that I can be a samurai too… I'm gonna beat you one of these days, just like how I beat the bad boys in school.
"Well Maya, take the girls to the dining room," Kazora-san said as I remained hunched over, my mouth open as I gasped for air.
"…What about Takeru, Father? Surely you are not planning to continue to practice with how exhausted he is."
"Perish the thought," He said as he again looked my way, another serious expression in his face, "I merely wish to have a small talk with him. On your way, you three. We shall join you in a moment."
Maya-nee and the Pickles looked at me for a second, but then they bowed to Kazora-san and went into their changing room. Wiping the sweat of my forehead, I walked towards my changing room, with Kazora-san following behind. Entering the room, dropping myself onto a chair and gasping for a little while, I then started to slowly take off the armor pieces I had on.
"Allow me to aid you in getting off your gear, Shirogane," He got closer and helped me take off the shoulder gear, and removed the lock so that I could also take the leg protection without much trouble.
"…Thanks, Kazora-san."
"It's Tsukuyomi-sensei, Shirogane," He said, groaning a bit, as he started to take off his gear too.
"Why are you always so mean with me? What did I do to you?"
"I am not being hostile to you because I enjoy it. If you wish to become a Royal Guard, you need to learn to hoist our values, to follow our code. And if you cannot show a sliver of respect towards your tutors, you will never become a samurai," His eyes grew smaller, sharper and scary, his tone was even rougher than before.
"…Then, what do I have to do to get better?"
"It's not a matter of being 'better' or 'worse'. There are signs in your conduct that show you are not fit to walk this path."
"What? If you don't tell me what I do wrong I'll never get better. Aren't you supposed to be my teacher?"
"…And yet, you refuse to even refer to me as one," He shook his head, sighing really, really heavily. Like when me and Maya-nee made it out of the super during the days with discounts, "However, you bring up a fair point. Let us discuss my impressions of today's training before dinner."
Having finished changing into my clothes, we both got out of the changing room. Kazora-san told Maya-nee to go ahead again, I waved at the Pickles as they left. All three of them were looking at Kazora-san like how I look at Jouji after he gets in trouble, or when he falls down the games at the park.
I sat on the floor as he sat in front of me, twirling his beard for a while as he groaned. I rub my arms as I wait, they hurt a little after training so much. Are all of them that good? Were they always holding back on me? How did Dad…
"Um… Kazora-san?"
"What is it?"
"Do you know how… how was Dad's life when he was a samurai?"
Letting both of his hands rest on his lap, he closes his eyes, "Your father… Kageyuki Shirogane was a rather… unorthodox member of our Guards."
"What does unorthodox mean?"
"…That he did not match what was expected of a Royal Guard, even less a member of our private squadron. Your father was very much like you, despite his efforts he could not show the proper respect to the authorities."
"He also called you Kazora-san?"
"No, he wasn't as rude as you," And again, he gives me another nasty scary glare, "However, one could not deny that he was both skilled and loyal. Your father was a very hardworking person, and he was as honest as a fellow can be. For that reason, he was allowed to join our ranks and become our fellow."
"And did he also have to learn all this complicated stuff to be a samurai?"
"Royal Guard is the proper term, Shirogane," He crosses his arms, making another scary gaze again, "…In any case, yes, he also had to partake in many trials to demonstrate his abilities. And even before his induction, he had to train very harshly to become a soldier."
"…Was he strong?"
"Yes. Even if 'strength' is not the most appropriate word to describe it, he was a very skilled soldier, in and out of the battlefield. Despite his fruitless efforts to learn Keigo and poise, he was indeed a fine Royal Guard."
"Then… W-Why did he lose?"
…
"Sometimes… No, most times victory cannot be obtained without sacrifices."
"And why did Dad have to… to die?"
Why are the monsters even attacking us? What did we do to them? Biting my lips as I sniff, trying not to cry, I look down and make tight fists with my hands, remembering the letter Dad left me.
"…Your father was not the only one who perished. Takahisa-sama, along most of his squadron, fell on the last battle."
"Huh? Takahisa-san… died too? But… But he was really strong! How… How could he lose too?"
He always won in the Shogi matches we played when he was home during my visits, and I still remember how he defeated Maya-nee really fast in a kendo duel once, and how scared Dad was when Takahisa-san joked about facing him after that. How… How did he lose? It's a lie, isn't it? Kazora-san is… just trying to scare me.
"Indeed, tis is truly a tragedy," Kazora-san looks down, his forehead getting all wrinkly as he closed his eyes really tightly. …He wasn't lying, "Such is the reason for why we must continue to hone ourselves, especially now that our Lord Regent has passed away. That is why our Royal Guards must be the best of the best, elites within the elites. And is the reason why I do not believe you should pursue this path, Shirogane."
"Why? Dad… Dad told me to do my best, and I don't… I don't…" I don't want to end up alone. I don't care if he thinks I'm not good enough, I'll show him I can be a good samurai just like Dad was!
"It's not merely about effort. I do not think this to be a wise idea, considering your attitude."
"But you're not even giving me a chance, you're always screaming at me. You're not a good teacher," I puff my cheeks and fold my arms, looking away from him.
He remains looking at me as I furrow my brows, stroking his mustache again. Kazora-san then looks up, his face losing all wrinkles, "Shirogane, has Maya taught you what meditation is?"
"Meditation? She told me to do that whenever I get angry at school."
"And do you effectively practice it?"
"Well… Not really. I end up asleep when I do."
"…I suppose relaxation is another path to clearing one's inner clouds," He nods a few times, eyes closed as he keeps stroking his mustache, "Has Maya told you why meditation is of such importance to a Royal Guard?"
"No? Do samurai need to meditate a lot?"
"Sigh… Royal Guards, Shirogane. Use the proper term."
"You don't call me Takeru, so I'll keep calling them samurai."
It's unfair. Why do you get to call me however you want, but I can't keep calling the samurai like that?
He puts a finger between his brows, massaging them slowly, "Well then, I suppose I could teach you the reasoning behind my actions. Shirogane, what did you think of today's practice?"
"Huh?" What has this to do with meditation? "You kept beating me up, and I couldn't even counter you."
"And what did you do in front of such adversity?"
"…I did my best to fight back and failed," I puff my cheeks, looking down. I'm sure he'll start saying I'm bad, that I can't do it, that-
"And how did you fight back?" He looks back at me, kind of like how Maya-nee did when she helped me with my history homework.
"With all I had."
"No, that's not… One could say you fought back with aggression, did you not?"
"…Yeah."
"And, did I ever fall to such aggressiveness while we sparred?"
"You did keep beating me up, so yes."
He narrows his eyes at me, "I never returned a strong swing, did I? I was not using my full strength on you. Do you know why that is?"
"Because you would have hurt me?"
"Indeed. A Royal Guard must remain calm during active duty. Meditation aids the mind and body, it then reflects in all endeavors one pursues during the day. You lack calmness, Shirogane. Skill and knowledge can be obtained through practice and repetition, but if you yourself do not change your ways, you shan't be allowed to join our ranks."
"So I just have to stay calm?"
"No, that alone isn't enough. It's a way of living, a way of conducting oneself."
"I don't get it. Do I have to meditate all day long, then?"
"Well… Allow me to tell you of the code we of the Imperial Royal Guard follow. Ponder these words tonight and the coming days, if you still insist on pursuing the path of the warrior. Ahem…"
Kazora-san cleared his throat and inhaled for a while, eyes closed. I gulped and also inhaled deeply, waiting for his words. If this helps me be a samurai, if Dad also went through this… Then, I have to learn this code and why being calm is so important. Kazora-san opened his eyes slowly, and, rising his chin a bit he looked towards me, he started to talk.
"Within the warrior, only two roads are seen. The just and the unjust ones. Nurture your own honor, to never lose your path.
Within the warrior, dread must not make nest. Nurture your own valor, to luster your life and mind.
Within the warrior, selflessness must flourish. Nurture your own compassion, to be your fellows' guiding light.
Within the warrior, there is no place for vainglory. Nurture your own poise, for your acts are a mirror of your values.
Within the warrior, there is only place for truth. Nurture your own honesty, for one's word should be followed by one's actions.
Within the warrior, there is no need for masks. Nurture your own judgment, for your name shall be forever tarnished should you betray your honor.
Within the warrior, no hesitation is shown upon conflict. For you are a blade and a shield, guardian of your fellows.
A warrior ends all struggles swiftly, to the ultimate consequences. We, the Royal Guard, are those who protect the Empire's peace.
Reject fear, for you have a road to follow.
Reject passion, for you have a duty to uphold.
Reject hesitation, for you have a vow to protect.
Reject vanity, for you need no further honors.
Embrace death, to free yourself from your shackles."
He then closed his eyes again and inhaled deeply, exhaling through his mouth.
Furrowing my brows as I plucked my lips, groaning a bit, I can't make heads or tails of what he said. I don't get it… What's with all those weird words? But… But…
"Kazora-san, why does that poem say that we have to hug death? That's… horrible. I want to live and I don't want anyone to die."
"No, it isn't to be taken literally Shirogane. But let us discuss this on the way to the dining room, we have stayed for too long here," He stood up and I followed behind him as we left the dojo, "So… Regarding the poem…"
"Yes? Why does it say death is a good thing?"
"…It does not mean that. You see, if you fear death, you will be frozen when it is time to act. However, if you restrain your fear, if you accept death is an inevitability, you will be able to fight and move without anything holding you back. The meaning of that line is to release yourself from anything that might impair your actions. We of the Royal Guard are servants of the Empire and our own individual lives matter little when compared to the nation as a whole."
"That's… sad. Your life does matter, Kazora-san."
"I never said it didn't. However…" He sighs as he starts walking slower, his hands going from being relaxed into a fist, "A warrior must never waver, not even in the face of death. I am sure your father also mastered this teaching."
"Huh? Dad did? But… But he never told me anything as sad as this!"
"Ponder it for a moment," He looked back at me, raising a finger upwards. "Your father must certainly being fearful during this battle with the monsters. He must have wanted to survive to see you once more. If he had succumbed to fear, the fight might have been lost. But he chose to be brave, to see beyond his own selfish wishes, to do what would be better not only for you but for his fellows. As Yohime-sama said, even if he perished your father managed to secure the greatest victory he could achieve, for you are still alive and healthy."
"…But he's gone now."
"As true as that might be… You were something worth protecting. We of the Royal Guard see the Empire and all its citizens as what must be protected at all costs, and so, we must be steadfast to not lose sight of what must be done. If you wish to become a Royal Guard, someday you might face a battle similar to the one your father was in."
"But that doesn't mean I want anyone to go away," I look down, shivering as I feel again as if someone was throwing snowballs at me.
"However… If you could save Maya, Shion and Mion… Would you fight with all you have?"
"Yeah! I don't want to see them hurt."
"Then, you should meditate on the words of the code. When you're serene, calm and in peace you will find your own answer to the struggles you will face. Only when you control your fears and emotions, only then you will truly be able call yourself a Royal Guard. Shion also suffers from this problem, even if your stance is far more rougher than hers."
"So… I need to be calm when we fight?"
"Yes, and you also must not lose heart on your studies. Letting seeds of anger sow in your heart will only hurt your performance."
I see… So it's like what Maya-nee said once, I can't keep getting angry at everything I don't understand. Dad… Dad could do it. And Mom asked me… to be good with others too.
Kazora-san… isn't so bad after all. He might be scary like how Maya-nee was during our first days, but he is trying to teach me this poem. Even if I still don't agree with it. Dying is… not nice. Nobody should tell you to not care about you, that's just horrible. Even if Dad kept fighting, there must have been a way to win without him having to die. And what about Takahisa-san? If he was also there, how did they lose?
"Kazora-san, was Takahisa-san also fighting with Dad?"
"…Yes, that is the case."
"Then, how did they lose? He was so strong and smart, Takahisa-san was so awesome I don't see him losing a fight."
Kazora-san stops walking and looks back at me, his brows almost touching as it looked like he was cutting onions, "One could say it's… a matter of numbers."
"Why does everything have to do with math?"
"No, it's not… Ahem, allow me to use this as an example. Let's say we are playing Shogi," I nod, "But then, instead of using the usual amount, I am allowed to use double the amount of pieces in the game."
"You can't do that, it's cheating."
"But I can. Then, you'd be at a disadvantage, wouldn't you?"
"Of course! How can I win if you have so many more pieces?"
"And that… is what might happen sometimes. The enemy won't hesitate to… cheat if it gives them victory."
"Then, why don't you call them out on it?"
"They won't listen, Shirogane. Did the bullies in your school listen when you told them to stop harassing you?"
"…No, I had to punch them to make them stop."
"And it is a similar state, this fight. They won't stop, so we cannot remain idle. And sometimes… people will have to die to give us victory, just like how you sometimes need to sacrifice a piece to win a round of Shogi. If you believe this to be cruel… then you should not become a Royal Guard," He then started walking again, faster than before.
…So the monsters are like bullies. And… And then people have to go away because of them. Maybe that's why they're being so harsh on me? To make the new samurais better than the older ones? Then… Then, if I get strong enough, I can fight without letting anyone getting hurt, right?
My hands shake a little, thinking on what Dad had to do. If even Takahisa-san lost… then, what can we do?
"Kazora-san, do you think we're safe from the monsters?"
"Yes, worry not Shirogane. Takahisa-sama made sure the Empire remains safe."
"T-Then… Nobody has to go and fight with them for now, right?"
He stops walking again, looking my way as his lips twist a bit, "Worry not. We are safe and sound, and no one will be called to battle for the foreseeable future. You can all train safely, so that we may one day protect our home together if the need calls," His eyes look still scary, but they have a small light, like Dad when he said his goodbyes, as he gave me a nod.
So… we can still train and get better. But if I don't become a samurai, I won't be able to be with them or even fight. I gulp as my neck feels all tight and cramped, I don't know how I can get better by just being calm but I have to try. And…
And I want to help out. If Dad helped Takahisa-san, then I can help out too. Maybe then nobody will have to give hugs to death anymore.
But what happens if I fail? I don't know, but I'll never be a samurai like Dad, and then I won't be able to stay with Maya-nee, Mion and Shion. I know I'm not that good…
But… But I have to keep trying. Even if Kazora-san is really scary, even if this new lessons are really hard… I can do it, right?
When we arrived at the dining room, the food was just about to be served. We gave them a bow, and Yohime-san welcomed us, telling us to sit down. Kazora-san sat near Maya-nee, while I sat on the other side of the table, between Mion and Yuuhi. As I did, the old woman that's always near her sent me another of those scary glares.
"Takeru, are you alright?" Mion said as I sat down.
"Yes… I'm fine."
"Father wasn't too harsh with you?" Shion pursed her lips as she leaned on the table, "Don't let his words get you down, Takeru. You had no chance against him, so it's obvious you were going to lose today."
"But if I don't get better in a month I'll never be a samurai."
"Hm? Why is that?" Mion tilted her head as she heard me.
"Kazora-san said I have one month until the adults decide to which school they'll send me after summer," I puff my cheeks as I look down.
"Children, please be silent on the table," The old woman that's always around Yohime-san said as she served our food, giving me a nasty look.
It smells really nice… How do they make the food like this? I grab my chopsticks and, after waiting for Yohime-san to start, we all began to eat.
Hmm… The rice is so nice! It's firm, but I can still taste the spices in it. Though… It does lack something. I dunno, but Maya-nee's rice still has something this one doesn't.
"Say Takeru," Shion smiled widely at me from my side as we ate, "what do you say of us helping you out during the weekends?"
"Helping me out?"
"Yeah, we can help you study and with your sword practice. Do you have your Sundays free?"
"Yeah, I think."
"Ahem…" Maya-nee tapped her glasses as she looked at us, "I suppose we could allow it, Father?"
"Well, they can spend their free time as they see fit," Kazora-san said, resting a glass on the table, "However, you two cannot fall behind in your own studies because of this. I'll be monitoring you three tomorrow, to make sure this session is a fruitful one," He then gave us another scary look, and we three nodded at him.
"Thanks a lot, Shion."
"Hehehe… Don't mention it. I am your older sister too so I have to look out for you," She then laughed quietly while doing a big, evil grin showing me her teeth.
"I can help out too," Mion puffed her cheeks a bit, "I know history is hard for you so I can aid you in your efforts if you like."
"Yeah, thanks a lot you two. Oh, can you be serious when we fight in the dojo from now on? I wanna fight with you to get as good as I can," Both of them shared a look before nodding.
As I began to eat again, I felt a poke on my arm. Looking towards it, I saw Yuuhi staring back at me, a pout on her face.
"…Good evening, Takeru."
"H-Hi, Yuuhi," Why does she look so upset? Her eyes are again full of that weird blue fire that appears when she gets angry, for some reason. But then, as she eyed me in silence, her lips shrugged as if worries.
"It would seem today has been a most toilsome day for you," Speaking weird with a serious gaze, her eyes stopped on a small bruise I had on my arm, "Your complexion does indeed look fatigued, are certain that you are feeling well?"
"Yeah, don't worry," Giving her a small smile, she seems to ease up a bit. Thanks for always worrying, "It was just a lot of stuff to read. But don't worry, it wasn't so bad," Except for math.
"I see," Seeming relieved, she smiles as she gets closer, "Takeru, I heard from Mother that you would be residing here alongside us from today onwards. Is that true?"
"…Yeah, it's true," After all… The orphanage was the other choice… Now that Dad's gone…
"Takeru? What is the matter?"
"Eh? Nothing… Well, some people told me it was because I'm fellow now… Do you think it's weird?"
She shook her head, placing one of her hands above one of mine, squeezing as she smiled, "Of course not, I'm truly happy to hear that. So… If you ever need to talk or have a question, please do come to me first."
"Thanks, Yuuhi. Really…" Returning her smile, she beamed back at me.
Even when she also lost her dad, she's still nice enough to worry. Sniff… Yeah, I gotta do my best for her too! Since now we're together, I gotta do my best for her and Yohime-san too, to not give them trouble.
We kept eating as she asked me about how I had been today, what games I was looking forward to play, and other small things to get my mind off things.l
"But the lessons were really harder than what I had back home," I pout, remembering what I saw of math today.
"I was told you would have to study much, I hope you can get acquainted with your new home soon," Still smiling, she nodded.
Uuh… You're so nice, as always, "So, uh, how have you been lately?"
"Oh… I've been well," Looking a bit down, losing her smile, it's clear she's lying, "I've accompanied Mother on some of her meetings, but I have not had the time to read many books as of late… or play Shogi…" Her voice fades to a whisper, but then she leans closer, trying to smile again, "So… since you'll be living here from now on, if you would agree and had some free time, perhaps… we could read something together tomorrow?" She tapped some of her fingers together as she looked at me, holding her breath.
"Maya-nee, can we?" She furrowed her brows, looking at Yohime-san.
"I am afraid you won't be able to," Yohime-san said, sounding a bit sad, "Takeru has to study much this coming month, Yuuhi. Sadly, he needs all the time he can afford to polish his skills."
We both look down, so I won't be able to play with the rest either? Looking at her, Yuuhi was sulking really, really hard, but no fire was coming out now. For the first time… she looked really sad.
"Now Yuuhi, dear, do not be so restless," She extended a hand to pat her head, trying to cheer both of us up, "Takeru isn't going anywhere, he will have a free day where you can play together to your leisure."
"Truly, Mother?" She bounced up, again smiling.
"Indeed, so do look forward to it," She nodded, and Yuuhi also did the same, then smiling my way with much, much sunshine, "Maya, which day does Takeru have free?"
"Sundays, milady. However, you cannot sleep in as you used to, Takeru," Maya-nee said as she looked at me, making me groan, which makes Yuuhi and the Pickles giggle, "This is something you need to do to get used to your new life. You will have your coming Sundays free, but you'll be best served using them to practice. Once you regain the rest your free time after this month you'll be able to play with the rest again."
"I see…"
"Well, could you tell me what you thought of your first day here, Takeru?" Yohime-san said, smiling as usual.
I told her about today's classes, Yuuhi laughed as I commented on how little I understood of what I saw of math today, while Maya-nee sighed as I told them about what the short teacher taught me.
Yuuhi and Yohime-san both lost her smile in a flash when I told her of how strict Kazora-san was with me, Yuuhi pouting a bit while Yohime-san sent him a really scary look when I told them I didn't like the end of that poem. The other old woman didn't even look at me as I was talking, though. I think she also doesn't like me much.
"Takeru, regardless of what Kazora-san says, you have the last say in the matter. And worry not, you won't be sent to the orphanage even if you don't perform well in this month," Yohime-san said as she smiled again.
"Indeed, you're part of the House now," Yuuhi said, making a point of placing her hand above mine again as she gave him a mean look.
Yohime-san then asked Maya-nee about what she did on her first day back here, and then the Pickles told us about how they fared in their classes. After we finished eating, we stood up and said our goodbyes to them.
"Thank you very much for the food," I give a bow to the old woman, who squints her eyes and looks away. Why did I do to her?
She ignored me and went to Yuuhi's side, "Yuuhi-sama, we should return to your room."
"Yes, we should," Yuuhi, however, turned around from her stood up, coming closer to me, "Takeru, I wish you good fortune on your studies," She grabbed my hands and smiled at me, as I did too, "You must not doubt when it is time to make an effort. I'm sure you'll do well if you keep your good spirits."
"Don't worry, I'll be fine. Thanks a lot Yuuhi. And, um, good luck in those meetings."
"Hehe, thanks. I hope we can read something together again soon. See you tomorrow, Takeru," She then gave me a nod and went with the old lady out of the room.
Yohime-san stood up and came closer. She petted my head, smiling faintly, as she sat down in Yuuhi's place.
"So, I suppose you must be tired after such a long day. Did you find your training too difficult perhaps, Takeru?"
"Well… It was hard at times," I rub my arms, Yohime-san sends a gaze towards Kazora-san as he finished his dinner.
"I see. Worry not, I shall make sure you are not pushed unnecessarily. Now then, I heard of Maya's proposal, of having you join the training program of the Tsukuyomi House. Are you in agreement with this, Takeru?"
"Yes. I can train with them if I become a samurai, right?"
"Of course. However, it will be a harsher regime than if you were to join as a simple commoner. It does make the paperwork easier… But even so, are you certain of this? You still desire to join the Royal Guard?"
"…Do you not want me here? Am I being a bother?"
"No, nothing of the sort, dear," Again, she patted my head, her hand than going down to my cheek and also rubbing it slowly, "Did anyone utter any such words towards you today?"
"Well, the second teacher seemed kinda upset at me, and Kazora-san was raising his voice as always during the training."
"I see… I will have a word with them tomorrow about this matter. However, you are no bother to us, Takeru."
"What about all the papers and stuff?"
"Haha… That is but a trivial matter," She smiled as sweetly as she usually did while stroking my cheek, "Even if you do not join the Royal Guard I shan't be sending you away, be sure of that."
"So, I'll still be with Maya-nee?"
"Well, not as usually as you do now, but you will still meet her," Giving me a nod, she rested her hands on her lap, "I know all of this must be very taxing on you, but you will be fine from now on. Do not let Kazora-san pressure you in any way,"
I nod, bringing my hands together, "And… I will see my friends again, right?"
"After this month, you'll regain some more free time, so I suppose you could. So, you merely focus on doing your best efforts in your classes for now," Patting my head again, she gave me a serious gaze as her voice lost the sweet tinge it had before, "Once you're given a role, everything will be dealt with, I assure you."
"So, we really are safe?"
"Indeed, why do you ask?"
"Well… The monsters… aren't coming here?"
Smiling again, petting my head slowly, she shook her head, "Worry not Takeru, we are safe and sound here."
"I see… And… Um, Yohime-san, how did Dad and Takahisa-san lose?"
Her smile vanished, her eyes got all sharp, "…Who told you about him?" Her voice turned really, really cold as she shot a look towards Kazora-san, who then quickly left the room.
"So, is he gone too?"
"…Yes, sadly," She closed her eye really tight, letting a sigh out slowly, "Please do not mention his name to Yuuhi, she was very afflicted by this loss."
I mean, of course she would be sad. I don't get how they can smile like that, it was really, really hard to stay calm today for me.
"I know, I won't do that. But I can still play with her sometimes?"
"Why, of course. Please do keep her company if you have the time," I nod quickly, and that makes her giggle, "I'd truly appreciate it if you could find some time to play with her. However, your studies come first, yes?" I nod and she smiles.
"So, um, are we really safe? If Takahisa-san lost, with how awesome he was, will we be able to win someday?"
"Worry not, that is why we are working today. This does mean your training will be a truly harsh one, for we need to surpass those who fell. If you ever have trouble, please do tell me. I do not wish to see you getting hurt," She placed a hand on my cheek again, slowly rubbing it.
"Yes, I'll be careful. Um, thanks a lot Yohime-san, for letting me stay here. I… I will do my best to become a good samurai and help you all."
"Haha, no thanks are needed, my dear," Again smiling as sweetly as always, going back to her warm and nice tone, "I know this must be a tall ordeal for you, however, there is nothing you should fear," Resting her hands near her belly, she gave me a wider, kinder smile, "You should reflect on why you so wish to be a Royal Guard, and you must not shy away from this new responsibilities and subjects you'll face from now on, even if some voice their opposition to your stay here."
She was still smiling, but something in her eyes was different. The small embers of fire that sometimes peek out of Yuuhi's eyes returned to hers as she tensed her brows.
"I hope your efforts can be fruitful, and I will be looking forward to hearing about your progress. And worry not, I won't allow no one to mistreat you from now on. So, please do rest easy and focus on your studies for the time being."
"Yes, Yohime-san. I'll really do my best from now on!" I nod at her with a smile, she giggles as she pats my head once more. Then, she calls for Maya-nee and we leave after giving her a bow.
But… for some reason… I feel like I'm forgetting something. It's not like they were different than how they usually are, Yohime-san does use weird words from time to time, but… but something felt weirder in her words this time.
"Takeru, let us go to your room," Maya-nee placed her hand on my shoulder as we left the dining room.
…That's right. I'm not going back home tonight. I'm staying here… Until when?
When will I be able to go home again? Will I see Sumika and the rest again someday? This kinda feels like when the guys threw too many snowballs at my chest, I don't like this feeling.
Mion and Shion made jokes with me along the way, trying to tell me some stuff that should help me in my studies until they had to take another hallway.
"Maya-nee, will I have more long classes tomorrow?"
"Yes. You have four hours of classes, your lunch break, and then another four hours of classes, another small break, and then two hours to do your homework before going to the dojo. This is why I told you it would be too much for you. If you wish, you should-"
"I'm not giving up."
"Sigh… If you ever feel it is too much, do tell me. You can't expect to surpass all your tests with passion alone."
"…I'll do my best. Why don't you believe in me?"
She furrowed her brows slightly, "I do have faith in you. However, it would be more productive for you to focus on your innate abilities instead of chasing a dream that might never come. You saw how Father was with you today, and the pacing of the lectures won't ease up after this month. You will need to prepare yourself for your new school, including polishing your manners," We took a turn and reached the hallway were my room is, "I do not wish to see you pushing yourself needlessly, Takeru. No one will treat you unfairly even if you cannot match Shion's and Mion's academic performance," She pet my head and opened the door.
"But I won't be able to stay with you, the Pickles, Yuuhi or Yohime-san if I fail to join the samurais."
"…That may be so, but I am confident you will be fine in whichever path you decide to walk. Your future won't disappear just because I am not by your side everyday. Also, do not be threatened by that… poem Father told you about. Simply focus on learning as much as you can this coming days."
Maya-nee stayed with me until I got into my futon, and told me to not stay awake. But I couldn't really fall asleep despite how tired I am.
All the teachers gave me a lot of hard stuff to do, I didn't understand most of it. And I only have a month to convince them to let me be a samurai. I again grip my sheets really tight, feeling the snowy hands on my back again. I shiver under the sheets, it's as if I had ants crawling on my sides.
What would happen if I fail? How can I get better? Dad, what did you do to become a samurai?
"What can I do? How can I learn all of this?"
…
I won't get all these new things if I don't keep reading. And there was a lot of stuff to read, I didn't get to finish reading in the two hours I got to make my homework.
I got out of the futon and went to pick up the books I had in my bag. I take a deep breath as I rub my shoulders. Let's keep reading for a while, I need to be better if I want to pass this dumb test! And I should also write down what I think of that poem before going to sleep.
After all, if I do well, then I'll have more time to play with Yuuhi. I'll do my best, both to be more like Dad and to be there for her.