A/N: And we've reached the end of this batch. Answering some of the last reviews, I know this is a great diversion from the plot but I feel like this has to be placed now.

Those who read it before should remember how sudden Takeru's paranoia was, how most of the stuff related to Native was kept behind bars, and, how a reader aptly put it, most of the cast was falling to the Awful Truth trope before. It ain't perfect, but I'm trying to fix that with the constant flashbacks.

Yes, I know many would rather have me jump into Sadogashima but I don't wanna have some sections come out of left field later. Also, fair warning, there's still two flashback chaps left, those who read D&R should know what's ahead and how it plays into the Paranoia arc.

Won't make any promises about lenght and pacing, one of the next chaps is gonna be huge again so it'll take time until I post again. Sorry if these chapters drag on.

As always, thanks for reading. Stay safe.

Zuoriel

Chapter 54: Stranger

June 1st. 06:52 PM.

(Dojo. Koubuin House.)

[Native Takeru]

"Ugh!" I take a step back, avoiding Mion's attack.

"What is it, Takeru? You're not afraid now, are you?" She taunts me, smirking much.

"Of course not, you dumb pickle!" I raise my sword and go at her.

Mion starts pushing me back again, but I slowly stop attacking, watching her moves. When I think I see an opening, I take a sidestep and send a slash at her wrists. She blocks it and then does a follow up, hitting me in the chest.

"Another victory for Mion," Kazora-san says from the sides, "Shirogane, I believe I told you to stop doing those sidesteps. During a kendo match you must face your opponents frontally."

"I still do, I just dodge her attacks."

"No, you should not. What did I tell you before? Think as if you were fighting on a bridge, you cannot move to the sides in such a case."

"Mmgh…"

"Well, let us proceed. Shion, now you shall spar against Mion. Maya, I'll leave them in your care," Maya-nee nods as the pickles get in position, "Shirogane, come with me to the other end."

I follow him, sighing heavily. I'm totally spent today. My teachers said it was time to give me some tests to see how much I learned in this week. Back in school, I used to think that tests that have a lot of questions were super scary. But today I learned something real nasty. Exams that have only a few questions are way scarier.

They only had three or less questions, and most stuff wasn't like the exercises in the books. I think I didn't do very well in them. And I still can't do well enough in the dojo, Mion and Shion won super fast and move really well too.

Kazora-san stops walking, but doesn't get in the area where we usually practice.

"What is it, Kazora-san?"

"Tsukuyomi-sensei, Shirogane," Again with the narrowed brows, what's with him? "In any case, practice your swings and footwork here for the moment," He hasn't fought with me today yet. He's being kinda weird.

Oh well, whatever. I take a pose and start swinging the wooden sword. When Kazora-san claps, I do one more slash. When he whistles, I switch to another pose and do a different swing. Frontal downwards, frontal upwards, belly slashes, wide slashes.

"Haa… Haa… Sei!"

I inhale sharply with my nose as I keep practicing, trying to not break the flow. I can somehow taste my sweat in my mouth, my feet are as upset as a kitty falling into a pool full of water.

"Alright, that is enough."

"Haa… Phew… So how was today's training, Kazora-san?"

"…You simply refuse to refer to me as you should," He shakes his head, folding his arms, "Also, your footwork is still formless. Even when you reach a steady pace, your feet refuse to focus on a trail."

"…I don't get it. What's up with my feet?"

"As I said, you should try to fight as if you were fighting on a bridge, however your movements are… odd," Giving me a hard stare, he seems confused, "It's as if… you were wobbling. Instead of being quiet in position, why must you sway from left to right?"

"…What do you mean, why? I can't dodge if I don't move. How can I make good attacks if I only attack from the front?"

"Sigh… Shirogane, you should not take this approach. It is one thing to aim at your adversaries' sides, and another entirely to move sideways during a duel. Before advancing further, you have to master the basics."

"But in the mangas the samurais don't always have to face their enemies in a bridge. What if I have to fight in an open field one day?"

"While it is true that in a real fight you have to avoid your adversaries' attacks, you must first polish your form."

"But why can't I keep moving like this if in the end I'll have to do that?"

"Sigh… You should stop talking back, as well. This is the most proper way to learn, if you don't master the basics you will never progress further than that," He folds his arms, nodding to himself.

"…Fine, I'll try to stop moving like that."

"Now, do remember to keep your poise. It is understandable that you would be upset, however you must-"

"Not get angry. I know, Kazora-san."

He again shakes his head, "Then, let the teachings show in your actions Shirogane. Well then, let's see… It seems that duel is over with."

The Pickles had finished their duel, Mion was smiling while Shion puffed a cheek as they took off their headgear. So Mion won this time, huh?

"All right you three, that shall be all for today," Kazora-san said, "Us two shall remain here for some more moments," They then gave him a bow, Maya-nee looking straight at me.

"…Very well. Please do not be late for dinner, Father," Kazora-san groaned a bit, closing his eyes, "Shion, Mion, let us go to the changing room."

"Shirogane, we should also."

We all went to our changing rooms. Getting back into my comfy clothes, I joked with Mion once I got out, making Shion frown and say it was the last time she was gonna lose. I waved at the pickles as they left, Shion still pouting and marching away with loud steps as Mion giggled. Maya-nee nodded at me before closing the door.

"Shirogane, seiza," Kazora-san said, pointing in front of him as he sat down in the middle of the dojo. I sit in the way he taught me to, and look at him as he caresses the top of his head for a while, "Well… It has been a week since you started living here."

"Yeah… Are you going to give me a test too?"

"…One could call it that, yes," Hauu… Don't tell me it has just a few questions too. He then looked at me, resting his hands on his knees, "Shirogane, I am sure you already know what I am going to say."

"…That I'm not good enough," I puff a cheek and look away.

"Indeed. I know Yohime-sama would not agree with me, however I believe it would be better not only for you, but for the rest as well if you accepted your limitations," He insisted, twirling his beard.

"What do you mean, the rest? I'm not being bad, I'm not giving Maya-nee or the Pickles any trouble!"

"I know you have been behaving well these last days, but that is not what I am talking about. As a father and uncle, I simply cannot let this matter rest," He folded his arms, looking straight at me, "Allow me to cut to the chase. Shirogane, I suppose you are still determined to become a Royal Guard?"

"Yes."

He squinted his eyes really hard for a second before going back to normal, "Then, do you truly think yourself able to reach your goal with this lower than average performance?"

"…I am getting better."

"Indeed, but not fast enough. And if were you to fail, my daughters and Mion will be truly saddened, as well as Yuuhi-sama," He closes his eyes and breathes with his nose, then looks at me again without the scary eyes, "I do want you to know that I see what meager improvements you're making, however, they are in no way enough."

"But… I don't wanna give up."

"Have you thought about what I just said? How would the others take your failing?"

"Huh? I… I don't know…"

Stroking his beard, he looks up, "As much as I denied it, I can only admit your presence did help Shion and Mion to stop clashing with each other as they did before, as both Maya and Mana said."

"…They're still bickering all the time, though. Especially over the sweets."

"Well, yes, that is true," He then smiled and chuckled for a little while, "However, they're no longer as cold as they were when you first met them, are they?" Hmm… I nod as I fold my arms. They were kinda mean back then, "And precisely because of that, you need to give up on this dream of yours."

"Huh?! What has that to do with anything?"

"…More than you think. Simply put, if you were to be put in another role, you wouldn't be able to meet them as often as you do now. And I believe… they will suffer your absence much," He winced, his voice getting a bit harsh, "The same goes for Maya, of course. I believe it best for you to slowly take some distance from them and-"

"No!"

"Shirogane, it is rude to-"

"No! I'm not… I'm not going away. They… They said we would be like family if I pass these tests. Why do you want me to go away if you don't hate me?"

"…Do you truly love them as if they were your family?"

"Yeah! Maya-nee has been with me for a really long time, and the Pickles are also really good friends. Why do you want me to go away? Are you going to start screaming at me like when you came to my house?" I gulp as I wait for him to answer, feeling my breaths rush in and out and my heart beating really fast.

He sighs heavily, ruffling his hair, "If you truly do care about them, then think of how they will take your absence or your failure. I know you are but a child, but try to see the impact your words and actions have on others."

"Eh?"

The impact… on others… For some reason, my neck got all tight and I could feel a lot of ants walking on my back again. …I don't like that phrase.

"Shirogane?"

"I… don't like that word."

"Hm? It is the truth, however," He points a finger upwards, his tone getting slow but still serious, "They will be truly saddened to part ways with you, as you will be too, no doubt. And that will affect their daily performance, I am sure. However, before you retort as you always do, it is not only a matter of results."

"What do you mean? I've been doing my best, now what do I have to do?"

"…You still do not follow our rules as you should," He folded his arms again, "You do not refer to me as you should, do not speak as you should, and do not conduct yourself as you should during dinner, to give you some examples. It's as if you were an outsider instead of the fellow you should be."

…So he does think I'm a stranger. Am I that… different? I can't… do anything about that?

"That is why you should turn back before you and the rest end up suffering unnecessarily."

"Why… Why don't you believe in me? I can… I can be polite when I have to!"

"It is not about 'when' but about 'always' being polite. Maya has been sighing much lately, ever since you were made to live here. Care to guess why that happens?"

"Is it… my fault?" He nods slowly, "But I've… I've been good! I didn't fight or break anything!"

"That is a very low standard, if we can even call it that," He ruffled his hair and shook his head as Maya-nee sometimes does, "If you wish to be one of us, you should have been acting in image of our own ways. And it is clear that… you truly favor a more relaxed way of being. A Royal Guard must be polite and proper, and since you seem to not be able to even show some manners in your usual stance, people will continue to see you as an outsider."

"Really? But… But I've been trying to be good…"

"Frankly, I do not comprehend why Maya hasn't taught you formal speech after all these years," Shaking his head, again he sighs, "You need to always be polite, otherwise we must always be on the lookout to see whether you are getting yourself into trouble. Surely you do not wish to burden Maya or Yohime-sama any more, do you?" I nod, looking down, feeling a faint shiver in my neck, "If you truly dislike being forced to use such manners, if you are beginning to feel overwhelmed in the dojo or in your tests… Perhaps it would be for the best for you to be given a common role, where you won't need to shoulder as many burdens as you're asked to as of now."

"But I won't be able to stay with Maya-nee."

"…And if you keep clinging to them, you will only make the separation all the harder on all of you," He nods, looking straight into my eyes.

"Why do you keep saying that? Why don't you want me here, Kazora-san?"

"I said so already, you are not scoring good results, you are not acting as you should. This is nothing but a waste of time."

That's not true… I'm not a waste of time… I'm getting better…

"It is clear you are not adapting, and a mere month will do nothing to reeducate you. Setting such expectations on your shoulders is truly iniquitous, in my opinion."

"But I… I've been doing my best…" Looking down, a few tears come down to my hands as I clawed at my pants.

"Well, you are indeed making a commendable effort, but it is clearly not enough," He says, as cold as when we first met, as when he went to my house, "I highly doubt you'd change overnight. Therefore, I suggest you to evaluate if this is truly for the best. Not only for you, but for the others as well."

"Are you saying I'm… a bother to them?" Looking at him, another cold shudder came up my back when he nodded.

"Another plate of food on the table, all the teachers required to instruct you, but above all, the constant worry that you might say something out of place, all of it is clearly beginning to show."

"But I've been-"

"You need to show results, Shirogane," He harshly said, giving me another scary glare, "Waiting until the last day isn't an option, the choice will be sealed by then. If you cannot adapt soon, then you should stop chasing this futile dream of yours. That is all," He then stood up, and started to go to the door.

Following behind, not looking up from the ground, I couldn't even muster an answer. Feeling all cold, barely answering with hums on the table at Yuuhi's questions, she had to step on my feet to get an answer.

She and Yohime-san don't seem bothered now… But if I need to take part in those meetings… then one day, someone is gonna get angry at me, like the other samurais that still give me a nasty stare when I come and go on the hallways.

But what can I do? I can't speak as weird as them, I've been doing my best so far…

"Hey, Yuuhi?"

"Yes?"

"Um… How could I start talking better?"

"How? Well, by practicing, of course," She says, a wide smile in her, "If you don't employ what lessons you apprehend, you'd assuredly find yourself in a harsh plight indeed."

But that's what I've been doing, I've been studying and practicing a lot… And it's not enough…

"Is something the matter?" She tilts her head, a bit worried.

"No… It's nothing."

For her it's just obvious, talking like that. But for me… Since I'm different… I can't do it fast enough.

She kept asking me about some shows on TV, on the mangas I was reading back home, I answered as usual, trying to smile. But she isn't talking like when around Arisa, or even how the Pickles talk to her.

Maybe… I need to really work harder than my best… before it's too late…

June 3rd. Near Noon.

(Koubuin House. Takeru's classroom.)

Gripping the pencil really tightly, I return the evil stare of the problem as I pluck my lips. Mulling over what I could have done wrong, I retry the math.

But it still isn't giving me an answer. Both X and Y can't be negative in this case, right? Or was it the other way around? Stupid math, why does it has to be so complicated… Give me back my numbers, these letters are so dumb. Why do I gotta use letters in math?!

I groan a bit, deciding to leave that problem and start focusing on another.

"Uuh…" This isn't going like in the books. Then, what do I do?

Alright, let's try something else. If I can't reach the answer from this part, maybe I can reach it by backtracking from the last number that's in the question.

So, if this has to be more than that, and this one has to be positive…

…I wanna scream.

Around half an hour later…

"Well, the class is over. Shirogane, your test please."

"Uuh… Here," Sensei takes the papers and, without looking at them, she puts them in one of those brown folder things.

"I was expecting you to have some difficulty, however seeing you struggle this much is concerning," She says as she looks at me, arching her brows.

"…Is it really that bad?"

"If you're having this much trouble adapting, then your options look very bleak. Math is a key component in many of the possible roads you could be bestowed, so failing to meet this level of aptitude will assuredly close those doors."

"Eh?! T-Then… Um…"

"Worry not, we still have this month to prepare you. So, do reread what you found most complicated."

…That means I have to read everything again.

"Okay. I'll try… harder from now on," I give Sensei a bow and she smiles, playing with her hair as she grabs her purse and leaves the room.

I have been studying better, but these things are too hard. Dad… Mom… How did you pass these questions?

I thought I would have many small exercises like before, but there were only three. And they were more complicated than all the ones in the books so far. It's not fair, I didn't have anything like those to practice. How could I have known that they were going to have many different stuff on the same question?

Wait, maybe I could try to solve exercises in pairs? Like, having to get a right answer for both questions instead of solving them one by one? Oh! That might work! Hehehe, next time you won't win, you dumb test.

But writing why stuff happened is kinda hard. Sensei said I had to use 'proper' words when he read over my test, and I think I forgot some stuff.

I slowly rub my arms, Shion hit me so hard yesterday she gave me a bruise. She did apologize, but… I couldn't do anything. When they started using the Mugen whatever-it's-called I couldn't even parry. My swings simply didn't connect, it was like when I first met them.

All this time… I thought I was getting better…

"Takeru?"

"Oh, hi Maya-nee," I stand up, putting my case inside my bag, "You took some time to come here, did something happen?"

"…No, nothing of the sort," She taps her glasses, closing her eyes really slow, "Follow me, it is time for lunch."

As I put my bag on my back and got to her side, she swiftly closed the door and, without wasting a second, marched off to the dining room, without holding my hand as always, without looking at me, storming off so fast I had to speed up to not lose her.

"Takeru, I've something important to tell you," She said, barely gazing at me.

"Hm? What's up?"

"Today I shall be busy, so you should prepare to leave the classroom as soon as you finish your next classes."

"Oh… Okay," Nodding, I finally get to her side. But just when I was about to grasp her hand, she sped up again.

She does look kinda tired now compared to how she was back home. Maybe something's wrong today?

"Maya-nee, did you get in trouble?"

"Huh? Why would I be in any trouble?"

"Yesterday at dinner, Yohime-san was kinda weird, didn't talk much after all. And you spent a lot of time talking with her after dinner was over. You never leave me waiting alone in the hallway for that long."

"Sigh…"

"See? You're sighing a lot these days, too. Is it because of this thing you're busy with today?"

"It is nothing you should worry about, Takeru."

"…Am I giving you trouble?"

"What? Why would you think so?"

"I mean…"

"Takeru…" Maya-nee stops, crouches and places a hand on my cheek, "You are no trouble. There are some sudden matters I needed a detailed briefing on, nothing else."

"Really?"

"Yes, worry not," She ruffles my hair and then stands up, grabbing my hand again, "So, how did you fare in your tests?"

"…Not good, I think," I say as we begin to walk again, still not holding hands.

"I see. What did you find to be the most troublesome subject?"

I explained to her what I found weird about the exercises on the way. She remained looking forward in silence as I talked, until we reached my room. Leaving the bag near a wall, I walk up to my closet.

"And also, there were very few questions," I say as I take off my 'school' shirt, putting a more comfy one on, "The problems had me doing a lot of stuff so I got stuck many times."

"I see. And what of your history test?" She softly says, still seeming tired.

"Sensei said I did some things right, but that my writing wasn't proper enough," I puff a cheek, getting out of the room.

"I did tell you to beware of that habit of yours. Have you been practicing your writing?"

"Yeah, I did try harder than before… But I don't have time for everything."

Thanks to Masahide-san's advice, I can now study well without having to stay up late. Instead of just memorizing where stuff goes into a chart or in the questions, I talk with myself to see whether I can answer my own questions.

Sometimes, my Senseis here says I speak weird even when I'm right but I am getting the right answers so I don't care. It's still a lot of stuff, and I do miss some questions sometimes. But it's not as scary as I thought it would be.

Because there is an answer. I just have to find my way to explain what I read. But… But on the dojo is not the same.

And even with Masahide-san's advice, I can only do some things everyday. Tackling everything the adults tell me I need to is impossible. But… they said I'm not even close to what I should know to be a samurai… I'm sure Maya-nee and Yohime-san will be angry if I don't get better soon…

"Sigh… Well, you should focus on polishing your weaknesses," She isn't even looking at me, staring forward as she picks up her pace again, soundind tired and a little bored, "So, do you feel ready for the tests of this afternoon?"

"…No, but I'll do my best,"

We kept talking until we made it to the usual room. No one was there so we had lunch just the two of us, with her giving me more advice on how to study from now on before taking me back to the classroom.

Same Day. 05:52 PM.

(Classroom.)

"Ugh…" I can't think anymore… I'm at my limit.

"Hmm… Your writing seems to have improved ever so slightly, color me surprised," My linguistic teacher said as she looked over my test, "Well, you did manage to at least address all questions in detail, it seems."

"Yes… I did my best today."

"Good. Do remember to reread some exercises for next Friday. Until then," I stand up and give her a bow, she nods and, grabbing her purse and not even giving me another look or a goodbye, she leaves.

Crashing onto my chair and slumping into the table, feeling a pencil under my chin, I let out a long groan. This was nuts too. I think I was proper enough this time… My stomach grumbling, opening my mouth wide as I yawn, and my back turning into a race track for a cold shiver, I close my eyes for a little while as I stretch my arms.

"Takeru? Are you asleep?"

"Oh, Maya-nee."

She comes closer, but looks a bit upset, "I believe I had told you to quickly prepare to leave today, did I not?" She says as she grabs my notebook and puts in my bag, kinda too fast.

Oh, right. I forgot she told me she was busy.

I nod as I put my pencil case back in, and once I had everything in my bag Maya-nee quickly grabs my hand and leads me out of the room. It… kinda hurts.

"Maya-nee? What's wrong?" She looks weird. Her eyes are really sharp, and her steps are kinda fast too.

"Nothing, let us go to the dining room. By the way, today you won't be able to go to the dojo."

"Eh?! Why?"

"There is another important meeting arranged in the house for tonight, so Father, Shion and Mion, as well as me, are busy for this evening. And before you ask, you cannot be part of it."

"Why?" I pout at her, she sigh again while tapping her glasses.

"Because it is restricted only to those who are already members of the Royal Guards."

"The Pickles aren't samurais yet."

"But they belong to my family, so they have to be present. Sorry, but this time you truly cannot come with us," She remarked, sounding firm and serious this time.

…Just like Kazora-san said, since I'm not from a samurai family… I'm like a stranger here.

"…Is it because I'm bad?"

"Of course not. This is a more formal meeting for a very important fellow of us, so you simply cannot join, as many others in the house also won't."

"Okay… Then, I'm going to have dinner with the rest later?"

"No, as I said, we will be busy for today. You'll have your dinner delivered to your room later at night," She then picked up her pace, seeing that there was no one around, no longer looking at me.

"Then, what will I do until night?"

"You shall stay in your room. Use this free time to study well for the coming tests."

"…Yes."

We didn't talk any more on the way to the dining room. After she left me there, I ate alone, watched by a guard dressed in black, since Maya-nee was busy and couldn't stay. Once I finished, he took me back to my room. Then he told me, in a harsh tone and with an evil glare, that he would bring me my dinner and take me to the bath later tonight, and that I should remain in my room, that I shouldn't wander around or go to the inner gardens.

Left with nothing else to do, I started studying again, trying to solve the exercises how I thought to do before, but I stopped after a while.

They had an important meeting but Maya-nee still had to come pick me up. And she left so fast too. This time they didn't let me go with them. Am I really not a bother to them? Why did she seem so angry, then?

I look outside the window, to the darkening sky. Gazing at the sky in silence, feeling like crying or screaming but not finding any strength to, my legs buckle like paper under rain, I end up sitting on the floor as I look outside.

Did I do something bad? Or… I rest my hands on the glass, looking at the clouds. Maybe I am a stranger here, and Kazora-san was right? How did Dad manage to be accepted as a samurai by the rest?

"Sigh…" I look at the clock that I had brought from home. 07:33 PM, huh?

I open the window and go outside, as I usually do when I can't sleep since it's right by the side of the gardens in the back. Tiptoeing as slow as a turtle, to not make a sound, I peek around the corner of the wall. There's no one here, so I should be able to stay as always, right? They told me to not go to the central gardens, they said nothing about the one in the back.

I walk to it, drop myself on the grass, and then the smell of the garden reaches me while I'm looking up. Relaxing under the flowers' perfume, the clear sky looks so nice today… And, unlike from the window at home, I can see a lot of stars now.

My tests didn't go that well, Yohime-san is acting weird, Maya-nee seems angry again, and now they leave me here as if I had done something bad. Am I… really that much of a problem? What happened with the papers Koume-san had to present?

Kazora-san said I have to adapt quickly, that I won't be like them if I don't. What if… everybody in my class is like that? At least I had Sumika and the rest back home, but what if I can't make new friends? What if everyone thinks I'm strange?

I wanna do my best, I wanna be like Dad. But… I hug my sides, sniffing a bit. Feeling the cold wind of night rustling around, I again look at the sky and clouds.

"Dad, Mom, everything gonna be fine, r-right?"