I don't own Harry Potter. Or Scribbler of Dreams

Draco is cutting. Will anyone be able to help?

Like a Razor

Draco sat on his bed with a razor held tightly between his fingers. Slowly he placed the cool metal against his skin. Applying a small amount of pressure he cut into is skin. First there was pain then there was relief. He watched in fascination as the blood dripped down the length of his arm. This method of relieving stress was bittersweet. Sometimes the pain was unbearable yet the sense of relaxation was overwhelming. And there had been countless times when he was almost caught. Luckily he had known a great memory charm. It disgusted him at the amount of scars that ran up and down his arm. Suddenly the door to his head's room was opened.

"Malfoy," Hermione said in an irritated voice, "its time for the meeting." He quickly covered up his arm and followed her out with a smirk plastered across his face. She simply glared back at him then continued on her way. As soon as her back was turned his face fell into an emotionless stare. He hid his emotions as much as he could. All he really had to do was through an insult at someone and his trail was covered. No one ever suspected a thing. Although sometimes he wished someone would notice.

They entered the prefect meeting room and took their seats.

"Okay, now our first subject tonight is the ball that will be coming up later this month." Hermione said very disciplined tone. "Any suggestions?" a Ravenclaw prefect's hand immediately flew up. "Yes?"

"Well seeing as it is October maybe we could have a Halloween ball." Malfoy smirked.

"Isn't that just the most original idea I've ever heard." He said sarcastically. Hermione hit him over the side of his head.

"Stop it," she demanded. "This is supposed to be a mature meeting."

"This is supposed to be a mature meeting." Malfoy mocked. He snickered along with the other Slytherin prefects.

"Okay fine you stop being mature, so will I." Hermione said as she flipped his chair over sending him tumbling to the ground. He looked up at her in disbelief. He cocked an eye brow and smirked down at him. Draco didn't know why but he suddenly felt like smiling for the first time in months. But he knew he couldn't do that so he stood up and glared fiercely at her.

"So you wanna play like that. Well so be it." He slammed her into a wall. Her expression was of pure shock. Suddenly her wand was in his face. He quickly released her.

"Don't mess with me." Her voice was dangerously low. Draco grudgingly sat back down in his seat after he picked it up. Hermione turned her attention back to the meeting. Draco spent the rest of the time wanting to relive what happened between them. Wanting to have the pure feeling of joy back again.

An hour and a half later the prefects went back to their houses and off to bed. Malfoy and Hermione slowly walked back to their own dorm.

"Why do you have to so insufferable?" Hermione asked more to herself than him. He looked up at her.

"Talking to yourself granger?" he said a nastily as he could. He could feel the familiar build up of emotions again. His head was throbbing and his arm was waiting.

"That's what I'm talking about. You always have to do that don't you?" his smirk almost faltered but he caught it in time.

"Just because your jealous—,"

"Jealous!" she yelled. They stopped right out side their portrait hole. "No body could be jealous of a stuck up arrogant spoiled little asshole!" she stormed off into the dorm after muttering 'Wolf slang'. Malfoy just stood there. Her words cut deeper than any knife ever could. He barley kept his eyes dry until he could get up to his own room. He passed Hermione who was pulling something out of her bag that was sitting on the table. He quickly passed her hoping she wouldn't see him. As soon as he was in his room he grabbed the blade that was sitting on the bed and pressed it deep into his arm. Malfoy made three deep cuts in his arm. He waited for the familiar relief but it never came. Something wasn't right. The room was spinning. He blinked trying to focus. Nothing was working. The next thing he knew he was laying on his back. He must have fallen over but he didn't remember. The last ting he saw before everything went black was Hermione rushing into his room. Tears were falling down her cheeks. He tried to say her name all that came out was 'Help'.

He woke up in the hospital wing. It was pitch black and nothing was making any noise. After looking around he concluded that he was alone. Just then heard voices outside the door.

"Hermione," it was Potter's voice, "what were you thinking?"

"It's nothing Harry." She tried desperately to convince him.

"Nothing!" his voice raised, "your popping pain killers! That's not nothing!" Malfoy was shocked. He had heard of muggles taking pain killers to get high or take the edge off. He never thought in a million years that he would actually meet someone that did that. "How long?" potters voice cut through his thoughts.

"…," Hermione didn't answer.

"How long!" he asked again more fierce.

"About two years," her voice was weak and forced.

"Why Hermione? You were always the calm one."

"Didn't you ever wonder how I was so calm all the time?" her voice was filled with pain and unshed tears.

"Well yeah but I never suspected this." Draco could hear the frustration in his voice. "Hermione you need help."

"No," Hermione's voice was strong and indignant, "I can handle this on my own."

"Oh really. Well then how about you give me those and you don't ever use them again?" he heard the sound of small objects hitting against the side o a plastic container.

"No!" Hermione yelled.

"See? You do need help."

"N-no I don't. I just don't wanna give them to you. Ill deal with this on my own." He then heard the doors to hospital wing open then close followed by foot steps. He closed his eyes when the he saw Hermione walk over to him. The chair beside him was moved closer to the bed. She sighed and then kept quiet. Draco could feel sleep trying to take him again. Something touched his cheek and realized it was Hermione's hand. The warmth that over came his was unstoppable. Dreams beckoned his closer and closer. He fell asleep with the feel of her lips pressed against his forehead. A state of bliss sent his head first into the strongest emotion he had ever felt. It scared the hell out of him but he loved it.

The next day he was awakened by something in his side. His eyes shot open.

"What?" he said very irritated to be woken up.

"I need to give you blood." Madam Pomfrey said and pulled up his left sleeve up. He retracted it quickly. "Oh for gods say Mr. Malfoy. I've seen what's there. I don't approve but I'm not going to tell any one." Draco relaxed and let her inject fresh blood. He was relieved she wouldn't tell anyone. Later that day Hermione came by to see how he was doing. He suddenly remembered the night before when he saw her walking down the ward.

"Hi." She said hesitantly.

"Why are you hear granger?" it slipped out before he could stop himself.

"Well I came by to see how you were doing but i can see I'm not wanted." She stood up to leave. Malfoy felt like he needed to make her stay to tell her that he didn't mean it. But his voice wasn't working. When she saw that he wasn't going to respond she quickly left. He sighed and fell back on to his pillow. He hated himself so much.

He was released two days later. As soon as he could he found Hermione. She hadn't been back to see him after he snapped at her. She was sitting it the library away from the main area. It was a miracle he even found her. The corner was concealed by a curtain that divided reading tables. There was a stack of books surrounding her. Draco could barely see he pretty chocolate eyes behind the paper mountain. Wait what was he thinking? Nothing about granger could be pretty. No she's not pretty at all…she's beautiful. Steadily her eyes flew across the page. As quietly as he could Malfoy crept over to the unsuspecting girl. She showed no sign of noticing him. He wasn't really sure what he was doing but it was fun. Malfoy was behind her and could read over her shoulder. She closed the book to grab another page. He caught a glimpse of the title. 'Scribbler of Dreams' it was called. He then looked down to see what was going on in the story.

"Where did you get--,"

"Shut up! Just shut up! You make me sick"

"Abby you don't understand…"...

"You're a traitor Kaitlin…a filthy slut just like Maggie…I hate you,"

He was really getting into the book. Suddenly she snapped it shut and turned to glare at him.

"What are you doing Draco?" his breath caught in his throat when she said that. He loved to hear his name on her lips.

"I—I was um…what are you reading?" he tried to through the subject.

"What ever," she said and stood up. She left before he could say anything else. All he did was stare after her.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. Draco sighed and let his head drop.

After dinner Draco went back to the dorm to catch up on some business. As he was walking past an empty classroom he heard screaming. He stopped cold. It was Hermione's voice. Malfoy ran into the classroom. There stood Hermione pressed up against the wall by…Victor Krum? He noticed Hermione had bruises on her face and her shirt was unbuttoned exposing her flat stomach. Rushing forward Malfoy pulled Krum off of her. Krum's head whipped around to see his attacker. His smirk fell when he saw Draco.

"Draco? What are you doing?" Draco's wand was right in his face.

"Don't ever touch her again." He growled. Krum lunged forward and shoved him into a wall. His hand was in Draco's neck. He was gasping for breath.

"And what are you going to do about it?" there was a flash and suddenly Krum was on the ground. Hermione had her wand out pointed straight to him. Krum was knocked out cold.

"are you okay?" Draco asked Hermione as he walked over to her. He made sure to keep his eyes locked with hers.

"I'm fine," she said indignantly. "I can handle myself thank you very much."

"Well I'm sorry I wanted to help. He had you pinned up against the wall." He said and she started to button her shirt.

"Well I was just fine on my own."

"You would have been raped!" he stepped forward and touched her wrist. Hermione recoiled quickly. Draco was quite hurt by this. "Sorry."

"He was here on business for the ministry. He was here to get you." She said.

"But why--,"

"I don't know he wouldn't tell me." she grabbed her bag and he heard the pain killers buried somewhere in there. She started for the door. He wouldn't let her get away again.

"Wait! Hermione!" she turned to look at him.

"What?" he looked right into her eyes. They rendered him speechless.

"I-I-I um wh-where are you going?" how lame.

"I'm going to see Dumbledore. Krum can't stay here forever."

"Ill come with you." She rolled her eyes but led the way to Dumbledore's office. After Krum was taken back to the ministry and Hermione checked out by madam pomrey the two headed back to their dorms. After entering they sat on the couch in silence. It was a friendly silence. Well as friendly and two enemies could be. Hermione was reading and Draco was thinking. He wanted to know what this growing feeling was. He has never felt it before. He wanted to hold her and touch her. He wanted to talk to her and to now everything about her. He wanted to stare into her eyes for the rest of his life. He needed a girl's opinion on this. But he didn't know any girls. Well…he knew one.

"H-hey Hermione?" his voice scared him a little bit. He didn't actually mean to talk to her.

"What Draco."

"I need an opinion. See there is this girl. I want to um…"

"Fuck her?"

"No actually. I want to kiss her and hold her. And I want to talk to her and know everything about her. What the hell is this?"

"Draco are you really that blind?"

"What?"

"You're in love." He was utterly taken back by this.

"No I can't be in love. Love's not real."

"Yes it is," Hermione said almost sadly.

"Oh yeah and have you ever been in love!" his voice was totally out of line. He was mad and confused. And didn't want to be bothered.

"YES I HAVE!" she yelled at him.

"WITH WHO? POTTER? WEASAL? KRUM? OR MAYBE OLDER MEN IS MORE YOUR TYPE! LOCKHEART?" he held hurt in his words.

"N-NO I FELL IN LOVE WITH--," she cut herself off, "never mind."

"Please tell me." He was desperate to know.

"Just forget about it." She went back to her book. "I have to get to work." Draco reached across the table and grabbed the book.

"Not until you tell me who you love." He saw her eyes get wider. He looked at her questioningly until he noticed that he sleeve was pulled up.

"D-Draco? Why-what-how-i-you—," she stuttered.

"Its nothing. Really."

"Your killing yourself. That's not nothing." He looked at her in disbelief.

"Wow that is the most hypocritical thing I have ever heard."

"What do you mean?" a look of worry crossed her pale futures.

"I mean you're over there popping pain killers and you say I'm killing myself."

"How did you—,"

"I heard you that night in the hospital wing. And I felt the kiss." He said as her face lost all emotion.

"So what now. You gonna make fun of me? Turn me down on the spot?" he hadn't expected that reaction. He expected to have her try to justify her actions.

"W-well um…," he was completely lost, "what?"

"You're the one I love Draco. Now are you going to turn you down now?" he was totally shocked. So he did the only think that felt natural. He kissed her. He had kissed a lot of girls but this one was different. He poured all of his emotions into it. Nothing was held back. When they finally pulled back for air all Hermione did was search his eyes for the truth. He gave it to her and kissed her again. She kissed him back this time. He felt like screaming out in ecstasy. They pulled back once more panting hard.

"why-do you-love me?" he said in between breaths.

"I don't know. I honestly don't know." He smiled and gave her a peck on the forehead.

"Good. Same with me." He pulled her close and closed his eyes. "do me one favour though."

"Anything."

"Give up the pain killers." She pulled back.

"Draco I cant do that."

"You have to your killing your self."

"So are you. Ill give up the meds if you stop cutting." He didn't know how to respond to that. He finally cam to a decision.

"Fine. But only if you give up the pain killers." She smiled and held out her hand. He took it.

"deal." He pulled her into yet another kiss. He would try as hard as he could for her. Maybe one day all of his pain will disappear. With her it would.

Fin