Title: True Confessions of Stella Bonasera By: ForensicsFreak1988

Fluff Warning: If you're morally opposed to MacStella, then, ta. ttyl. If not, then good, cause this chapie's full of it, as the rest will most likely be as well. Oh, and if you didn't know that I don't own Mac and Stella and any CSI:NY character, or any type of car whatsoever, then…that's just sad. Okay, fine you couldn't know that last one, but whatever.

Readers: Shut the hell up!

Me: FINE.

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Five minutes after having arrived at Mac's door, Stella finally forced herself to ring the bell. As she heard him call "coming", she bit her lip, nervous. Come on Bonasera, you know you need to be here. You were so outta line earlier, and you need to make up for it. However, her nervous half told her she could have not hung up and just apologized over the phone. But part of her needed to be with him right now. She was too beaten to deny it. And so, emotional as she was, the first thing she did when Mac opened the door was something she'd never thought she'd ever find herself doing. She threw her arms around Mac, burying her face in the nape of his neck. Mac, after the initial shock wore off, just muttered, "Come on," and, closing the door behind them, guided her to his couch.

"Aw Stel…" he muttered as, feeling her shake, he realized she was crying. For a good three-four minutes they sat like that, Stella trying not to cry, Mac's hand, which was rubbing her back, causing her to cry harder, just because he was telling her she could. Finally, she pulled away, wiping her eyes.

"Did you bring something to change into?" Mac asked, rubbing her arm. She nodded, fresh tears in her eyes.

"Mac I'm sorry I yelled at…" He cut her off with a finger to her lip.

"Keys Stella," he ordered, holding out his hand. She was too worn out to argue. He went to get her clothes, as she grabbed a tissue.

She jumped a little as he came back in, carrying her bag.

"Now, you go take a cool shower, while I make us some pasta." Suddenly, she was glad Mac knew her so well. Unable to resist, she planted a kiss on his cheek as she went to do what she always did when things got rough.

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Stella walked back into the kitchen feeling, not completely better, but still somewhat refreshed. Mac smiled over his shoulder at her, but turned back to the creamy alfredo sauce he was making as he found himself noticing the way her wet hair clung to her skin. His breath caught as she came to wrap her arms around him.

"Smells good… hey thanks for this. Giving me a place to hang I mean." Mac turned to look her in the eye.

"Hey. You've done your share for me these past five years. To say nothing of before 9/11. Stella, I'm sorry I was so cold earlier." Stella's only response was to squeeze him before letting him go.

"What do you need me to do?"

"It's almost done. If you could just set the table?"

"Of course."

Two minutes later, they sat down to one of Stella's favorite meals- chicken and broccoli alfredo. Mac couldn't help but smile as Stella moaned.

"This is so good."

"You say that every time I make it for you," he pointed out.

"Doesn't make it any less true. Besides, this time it's extra good. Did I ever tell you why I love alfredo so much?"

"Besides the fact that you're part Italian?" Stella smiled and rolled her eyes.

"Yes, besides that."

"Because of that lady who lived near the orphanage who took you to that restaurant, right?" Stella sighed.

"Okay, apparently I did. You know, I'm starting to think maybe you know me too well."

Yet, not well enough to realize how much you needed a friend earlier, Mac thought, but said out loud, "No such thing Stel." She rolled her eyes again.

"Sure. Thanks for this. I…I needed to be with… someone."

"Stella…don't. Stop telling yourself you're imposing on me. If I'd realized how much you needed someone, you would have been here earlier."

"I…I just don't feel safe in my apartment anymore, Mac. It scares me to think I'll have to move."

"You're not gonna have to move Stella. Maybe redecorate a little, but give it some time. You'll get through. You always do," he assured her. She gave him a teary smile.

"Thanks Mac."

"Okay, here's the deal. I give you the rest of the alfredo, and you promise not to say the 't' word for the rest of your stay. Deal?"

"Deal," agreed Stella, with a laugh.

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After dinner, they'd settled on watching TV. But now, a half an hour later, neither was watching it. Stella was asleep, her head on Mac's lap, Mac was absentmindedly twirling her curls around his finger, watching her sleep. He hadn't realized exactly how much Stella had meant to him, or how much seeing her unconscious on her bedroom floor had scared him. "It was like losing Claire all over again, Stel," he murmured to her. "I…I don't know what I would have done if…if I'd lost you without telling you how much I love you. But then, I couldn't Stella. Your friendship means too much to me. Remember how we met? Claire and I had had our first big fight and I'd escaped to that little diner. You came in and sat down next to me, introduced yourself, and said, 'If you love her, than you'll work it out.'" Mac stopped, sure that Stella's mouth had just twitched. To his horror, Stella turned towards him and opened her eyes. "You weren't asleep," he stated, quite unnecessarily. She smiled and shook her head. Then her smile disappeared. Mac was ashamed to find tears in his eyes.

"Hey. I'm still here Mac. I'm not going anywhere." Reaching up, she wiped his check. He gave an ironic little smile.
"You were always the strongest of us." Unable to resist, he grabbed her wrist, and brought it the short distance to his lips, just to feel her pulse. To Mac's shock, Stella pulled her hand away, sitting up and replacing it with her lips. After the shock wore off, Mac did the only thing he could do considering Stella Bonasera was kissing him. He kissed her back. When he felt Stella moan, he deepened the kiss. It was a while before Stella was able to have a coherent thought, but when she did, she forced herself to break the kiss, out of breath. "Mac … I … I can't. Not right now," she said, hating the way the words tasted in her mouth.

"It's okay Stel. We'll work out a way to stay friends," Mac muttered, not meeting her eyes.

"Oh god Mac, no. I…I love you, and I want to be with you. It's just… it's too soon. I mean I didn't love Frankie like you loved Claire, or like I love you but…I still loved the man I thought he was, and…you know it's hard to lose that. I'm so sorry. God I'm such a confused mess," she said, sighing. Mac pulled her into a hug, leaning down to whisper in her ear.

"A wise, strong, amazingly beautiful woman once told me that only I could know when I was ready to move on. Now it's her to find herself. And I'll be right here waiting, I promise," As he realized she was crying, he planted a reassuring kiss on the mass of curls that he loved so much. "Come on. Let's go to sleep."

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Okay, now you're really gonna stop reading it, right? Why not? Gosh you're jaded. Anyways, how was the fluff factor. Good, too much, too little? LET ME KNOW. Who am I kidding? We all know that it was completely OC, right?