A persistent knock at my bedroom door woke me up the next morning, and I threw my favorite teddy bear at it as I jerked my pillow over my head.
"Go away!" I yelled as I rolled over only to come into direct contact with my alarm clock, which to my dismay read 7:10. Oh, shit!
"Hey, if you don't want to hitch a ride that's fine with me, Jude Harrison, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I am dying to see what killer dress Portia has come up for you this morning." Spied said as I heard him lean heavily against my door. Oh, Jesus! I had forgotten that he had wanted me to ride with him this morning. Launching like a grenade out of my bed, I rushed into the bathroom slamming around as I managed to get a shower, brush on some lip gloss, and throw on a pair of holy jeans and a black "I live in my own little world, but that's okay because they know me here' logo tank top before pulling open my door ceremoniously. Spied cocked a brow as I nearly ran smack dab into his chest before placing both of hands on each of my shoulders and laughing incessantly at the top I had picked. I just shook my finger in his face teasingly.
"Don't laugh! You gave it to me." I said as Spied just grinned sheepishly at me as we made our way past mom's room, and I stopped suddenly as the pain ripped through me again—stabbing at me like the furious machinations of a B-rated slasher film. It's not easy losing someone you love, and it hurts even worse when you feel betrayed by them. Spied seemed to notice my discomfort because he grabbed me slightly by the elbow before leading me out the door. Something told me that he was trying his best to be there for me, but the more he tried, the more I just seemed to want to pull away. I'm not even sure why. When I'm with him, I just feel more keyed up somehow almost as if his passionate nature inflames mine—leaving me tired and drained. And the one person I didn't need to feel better around was the one person that managed to calm my spirit. What the hell was wrong with me? Why couldn't I just take the relationship Spied offered me and let everything else well enough alone. Ugggggghhhh! I practically growled at myself as I made it over to Spied's car only half-listening to his teasing antics as I let myself in—imagining as I did a blue-eyed Tom Quincy holding open his car door in order for me to enter. Ohhhh! I just couldn't stop could I? Spied smiled over at me about to say something that promised to be ultra witty when my cell phone buzzed and I sighed in immediate relief until I saw the name displayed in the window.
"Dad?" I said as causally as I could after flipping open the receiver. The silence that emanated through the line was tense and full of emotion.
"Are you and Sadie okay, Jude?" Dad finally asked as I shrugged even though I knew he couldn't see me. I could tell he was having a hard time with the whole ordeal just by the hoarseness that had crept into his tone, and I suddenly found myself so choked up that I couldn't speak, just kind of groaning as I fell into Spied's car. Spied must have known that I was silently telling him just to go ahead and drive to the studio because he started up the car and pulled out of the driveway as I sobbed slightly into the phone turning away from Spied as I did. Oh, it hurt! Dad sighed on the other end.
"I'm moving back in with you and Sadie, Jude. We'll find some way to make this work out, do you hear me?" He asked as I nodded at the phone.
"And Yvette?" I asked as I leaned heavily back into the seat.
"Will not be coming with me." Dad answered smoothly as I felt my eyes widen slightly. He must have noticed my unspoken shock because he sighed again.
"We'll still be together, Jude, but we won't be seeing each other for a while until you and Sadie, and even myself, can come to terms with what your mother did. I have a lot to make up for, Jude. I feel partly to blame for this. If only I had been able to love your mother enough not to have strayed then maybe…." He let his sentence hang unfinished as I heard him pacing from wherever he was—either at Yvette's or his office. I just sat there as Spied pulled into the studio parking lot—pulling open his car door and stepping out before walking into the building. We may not have the same connection as Quincy and I at times, but even he knew me well enough to know when I needed to be alone. Gathering my emotions in hand, I sighed with both relief and grief.
"Don't, dad. It's not worth finding someone to blame for this. I think, all in all, we all contributed to it somehow so if we start playing the blame game, then I'm afraid we'll never stop. I'm just glad you're coming home. I've really missed you." I said sheepishly as a shadow suddenly fell over my face. I turned sideways just in time to see Tom's Viper pulling in next to Spied's car. Boy, he was being brave! I arched my eyebrows in amusement. With the way things were between those two, Tom would be lucky if his tires weren't flat when he left that evening, but then again I think even Charles Manson would be afraid of Tom Quincy if he ever touched the holy viper. Dad had grown silent as Tom suddenly looked over at me as he exited the vehicle and just by the way he glanced at his watch, I knew I was late meeting with Portia. I just waved at my phone as I opened the car door.
"I've missed you girls too." Dad suddenly said as I paused on the pavement outside, letting myself rest against the side of the car with the door still hanging open. So many emotions were bombarding me right then as I looked up into Tom's eyes—watching his pupils dilate as he realized that I was hurting.
"Do you think she'll come back?" I whispered as I started kicking rocks with the toes of my shoes. Dad just sighed.
"I really don't know, Jude. I thought I knew her…I mean I was married to her for over nineteen years. But I never saw this coming, which makes me wonder either how much she has changed or how well I really actually understood her." Dad said slowly as I looked at the studio door over Tom's shoulder. I needed to get in there.
"We all wonder how much we actually knew her, dad. I just hope she comes back and gives us another chance at learning the woman we have called wife and mother all these years." I said as I finally kicked the car door shut before taking one step toward the studio door.
"I…uh…I have to go, dad. We'll be seeing you tonight?" I asked as I felt Tom's hand suddenly squeeze my shoulder. I couldn't even look at him.
"I'll be there, Jude. I'll even bring dinner." Dad said before hanging up the phone, and I just stared at the silent receiver before sighing heavily. Tom leaned over and snapped the contraption shut for me before slipping it into my pocket.
"Are you alright, Jude?" He asked softly as he placed his hand on the small of my back. "Jamie's filled me in on what's happened. I'm really sorry, Jude." Tom finished sympathetically as he walked with me into the studio. I just sighed. He had no idea how much he had already helped just by taking me to that overhang, but I didn't have it in me to tell him that. We had just entered the studio when I noticed Sadie sitting behind a desk near the front of G Major's, and I arched a brow as she scowled at Tommy before grinning widely at me.
"Okay." I said slowly. "Tell me you're not sitting there for the reasons I think you're sitting there for." I said teasingly as she shrugged and then nodded amiably.
"Let's just say that Liam was looking to fill a secretary position and I happened to meet all of his requirements." Sadie said with a shrug as I stared at her disbelievingly. She shrugged. "Besides I can pay you back now, Jude, So go in there and meet with Portia before she comes tirading back out here again." Sadie said with a wave of her hand as I grinned at her before walking towards the wardrobe room. Tom stayed behind to say something to Sadie, and I felt jealously rear its ugly head as I glanced back at them. Oh, bestow my double-sided heart.