A Last Request
Written by: Mikami
Warnings: Profanity, sexuality, main character death.
A tiny twinge of guilt poked inside Sakura's stomach as she stared at the engraved font on Uchiha Sasuke's tombstone. During the first year after his death, Sakura visited every month on the exact day of his passing, treating that day like an anniversary. She stood there, unflinching, bringing him flowers and setting it by the dull gray stone. Time would pass and she wouldn't notice since brooding became an unwanted pastime.
When the second year began, her religious monthly visits began to wane. They went from once a month at a time to two or three. But as she stood with the twinge of guilt, Sakura realized that the time between now and the last visit was the biggest gap of all. She hadn't visited Sasuke's grave in several months.
The urge to cry had disappeared long ago; Sakura couldn't even remember when. Although she continued to miss Sasuke terribly, her mourning faded into happier memories and soon those were the only things left to dwell on.
At the moment, Sakura was left wondering whether or not her tears would be compensation for her neglect. After all, she felt guilty didn't she ? She loved Sasuke and her wish was to never forget him, hence the awful feeling that plagued her for her lack of visits. But a hand on her shoulder gave her reassurance.
" No tears, Sakura." Said Naruto softly.
Her mouth curved upwards gratefully at the sound of his voice. " When did you turn out to be a mind reader ?"
" Since forever. One of my greater talents." He teased lightly.
" Right." Sakura replied cynically with a good-natured tone.
Both of them put down their offerings of peace with the daffodils and stepped back.
" Sasuke doesn't have to worry about being the last Uchiha on earth anymore." Said Sakura. " He has his family and that's all there is to it."
" Yeah. But as honorable as that statement sounds, you're still wishing otherwise aren't you ?"
" I wouldn't be me if I wasn't thinking it."
" You know," Naruto started. " Don't feel guilty about not visiting. Just because you don't visit that much anymore doesn't mean you've forgotten about him. Hell, I could never forget an ass like him."
His blunt words forced a small laugh from Sakura and her smile expanded at his fox-like grin. When the laughter died down, she looked at the tombstone again and frowned.
" Sometimes it feels as if I'm betraying Sasuke in some way." She whispered.
Naruto appeared shocked. " How the hell did you come up with that conclusion ? I can't see you doing anything like that."
Sakura looked at the ground where the grass had grown over the plot of clean dirt that used to cover the grave. An image flashed in her mind—a vision of a stern pair of white eyes, balanced on an evenly angled nose and opulent lips that seemed to be set into a constant grim line.
" It's complicated……" Sakura said quietly, more to herself than to Naruto. " More than once I've unconsciously asked for his forgiveness because……"
She shifted uncomfortably and rubbed her temple strenuously to rid herself of a memory flash that involved long, dark locks of hair and a bandaged arm and leg.
" Because ?" Naruto urged.
" Because……I've always promised Sasuke that my heart would always only belong to him……and I meant every word. But now it's complicated……"
Shaking his head, Naruto touched her arm gently. " I don't know if you're going to assault me after I say this but I'll take my chances. Don't go CELIBATE now. Sakura, you and Sasuke weren't even married."
" It didn't matter." She replied. " The important thing was that it felt like we were just before he left for the Earth Country."
" You're scared that you're moving on."
" I can't forget him."
" Then don't…but give yourself a break. Go out there and try to be happy." Naruto said, eyeing the sun in the distance.
" Easier said than done." Grumbled Sakura.
" Don't you ever get tired of being sad ?"
Sakura sighed heavily and nodded her head reluctantly. " Yeah, I do."
" Give yourself a break." Said Naruto, trying not to seem irked by her stubbornness. " Your moping is contagious."
The petal-haired Jounin turned to him and crossed her arms. The age-old situation that included her and Naruto many years before in which she would lecture him was being reversed on her.
" Are you always this repetitive ?" Sakura mumbled grumpily.
Naruto casually put both arms behind his head." Well, I have to be to get it through your thick head."
" That's MY line."
" Which was stolen by me with great pleasure." He said, closing his eyes self-righteously.
She didn't give him enough time to celebrate his victory by giving him a hard smack on the arm. Naruto knew enough that to get her out of a slump, he'd have to annoy her first. He'd push all the right buttons and Sakura's troubles would be immediately forgotten.
The sky above thundered as the clouds collected into a growling mass of gray. Gone was the sun when Sakura and Naruto left Sasuke's grave to head back into town. A flash of lightning erupted with a crash and the wind began to blow recklessly, pushing them along.
Sakura looked up; she hadn't noticed the chaotic gathering overhead. The Fire Country was en route to the rainy months and every other day would have a light drizzle. But now the storms were beginning and the rain would stay with a vengeance. In the past, on one or two occasions, a few villages near Konoha would request shinobi assistance because of floods. So far it hadn't happened yet.
" You sure you want to train in this shit ?" Naruto said gesturing toward the swirling sky.
" It won't take long." She replied with a grin. " The last two sessions I had with Neji ended up in a draw. I think he's worried that I'm stealing his thunder. He was the one that demanded a next match, rain or shine."
" Oh yeah, I forgot about that. So, how goes the training ?"
" Never better."
The proud look on Sakura's face manifested itself as they reached town. By then people were escaping into their homes and vendors were packing away their wares. Ichiraku was putting up their storm shutters to close.
Thoughts of the storm aside, Sakura couldn't believe that it was almost two years since she trained with the kodachi. Lately she utilized them vigorously for field missions and during each one they brought her success. She excelled like never before and Neji's training "program" turned into daily matches. There was an excitement with every day since her skills were skyrocketing to a higher level. Neji started exerting more of his own effort to keep her down—a signal that she was already quite exceptional. Sakura never received any compliments from him, nor did she need any. Neji's anxiety was enough.
" I came close to catching him off guard last time." Sakura claimed, thinking of the interruption in Neji's stoic demeanor. " I almost got him to look surprised."
" That's something seen every one hundred years." Chuckled Naruto.
As they reached Naruto's apartment, Sakura stood in front of him with fidgeting hands. Her distracted fingers attracted his attention and he put his hand on top to calm her.
Naruto smiled, " Is there something you want to talk about ?"
" No." she replied, failing to be convincing.
" You just jump from one problem to another don't you, Sakura ?" he laughed jokingly. " Is it Neji ? It's Neji isn't it ? I told him I'd break his legs if anything happened to you."
Sakura snorted quietly and held up a hand. " No need. I'D be the one to break his legs."
" Oh yeah."
After fishing his keys out of his pocket, Naruto turned the doorknob and stepped in. The everlasting aroma of cup ramen was a permanent scent that occupied Naruto's home. Every time Sakura visited, she would always leave with a craving in her stomach that eventually led her to Ichiraku.
Before Sakura left, she heard Naruto's voice booming down the hall after her.
" Sasuke wouldn't mind if you thought about other things. The only place left to go is forward !"
The true meaning of the words, Sakura had no idea. She was tired of trying to read hidden messages under sentences—she'd been getting a lot of those lately.
A colossal bang sounded through the skies when she stepped out of the apartment. It seemed to be calling her name, promising victory in the heat of a battle. However, something was different as she headed toward the Hyuga residence; there was an odd feeling that swirled awkwardly in her stomach as if someone took a wooden spoon and was stirring her insides.
Why am I still doing this…and going there ? she asked herself.
You know why……, a treacherous little voice whispered, purposely taunting her with another image of white eyes.
Her trembling hands were appallingly numb from locking her failing grip on the kodachi's handles. What added to the already harsh situation was the cold wet rain battering her body from the heavens above. Like arrows, the freezing liquid pounded on Sakura as if they weighed a ton. They chilled her head and while soaking her petal-pink hair, made each strand stick messily to her face and neck. Drops of water dripped down her forehead and off the tip of her nose whereas others fell from her eyelashes. Her breathing was intensified and she gasped vigorously but quietly in order to remain calm.
Rain and fog drifted between the trees, providing an ill atmosphere to hunt. A vicious spray of water blasted in Sakura's direction from the turn of the wind as the sky lit up with another flash of thunder and lighting. The rumble continued but instinct shot through her, causing her to jump down from her tree perch.
The move was too fast; where she was suspended a few seconds earlier had a clean slice through it, indicating that Neji had just attacked under the distraction of thunder. Sakura smirked. It was like Neji to use anything and everything against her during a match—even the elements.
She ran quickly to the protection of a nearby undergrowth, removing herself from clear range. Although Sakura carefully considered the upper hand Neji always possessed with the byakugan, she made sure to move out of his striking range. Even if he did appear, she would still have chances to either counterattack or dodge.
It felt as if she didn't have any fingers when she squeezed the kodachi once more. A speeding flash of beige whipped before her vision and disappeared half a second later. Closing her eyes, Sakura slashed quickly to the left and hit a katana.
" What's with the goose chase ? You know I don't like to wait." She said, staring at Neji intently through the sheets of water.
" Impatience is a bad thing. A nasty habit you have there." He replied, putting force into the hold of their blades.
" Not as nasty as your habit for disappearing all the time."
" That's very thoughtful of you to count the minutes of my absences." He said dryly. " Alright, I'll stay."
He immediately pulled back and charged again with a rush Sakura had never seen before. Neji's eyes unsettled her; they didn't even blink through the rain and during the hard slash her pitted against her.
Sakura jumped away, freeing them from the undergrowth and moving the battle into the clearing of the forest. She landed on the other side, avoiding the slip her feet gave her while settling on a plot of wet ground. The drenched earth turned slick under her as the dirty puddle seeped through her footwear.
The look on her face urged Neji to come forward and he abided by her wishes with pleasure as the rain washed off their blades. An explosion of water erupted between them when their weapons locked again. Sakura roared loudly to pummel him with a swift kick to his outer thigh. It hit the target but she hadn't expected him to counter by twisting his foot with her other leg, tripping her cleanly on her back.
The muddy puddle of water was ice cold and Sakura rolled out of the way in time to avoid Neji's other foot. Quickly, she brought her leg around and handicapped him. Neji collapsed into the filthy ground beside her but was still able to retain his attacking intent. Rushing to his knees ferociously, he gave her a mighty slash and one of Sakura's kodachi flew into the bushes meters away.
Mouth opening in shock and anger, Sakura pulled herself up to her feet and aimed her blade straight for his shoulder. Neji dodged it by tilting his upper body to the side; he grabbed her arm shortly afterward and brought her down once more.
She spit out mud; her hair was matted into grimy disarray. Her arms and entire body were caked with rain and sludge. The handle of her single kodachi was hopelessly slippery to grasp as she fumbled for it on the ground in panic. Neji brought down his katana toward her fiercely and she was able to block the assault just in time with her single weapon—but she buckled under the pressure and fell back from her knees.
A splatter of filth washed over Neji, covering the rest of him in sludge. Sakura had been putting up a long and impressive fight but now this was it. The luck of the draw. Her flaming green eyes bore into his, burning into him like a flash of hot fire through the rain and mud.
With grimy hands, Sakura's fist connected rapidly to his face and Neji was forced sideways. Breathing hastily from the loss of energy and chakra, both of them found it hard to get up from the mud trap that suctioned them to the ground. Barely on their knees, Neji and Sakura pushed themselves forward toward each other to finish the match and determine the victor.
From the lack of coordination and the endless exhaustion, they executed a sloppy battle that took place barely on their limbs.
Elbowing him in the stomach, Sakura caught a glimpse of his gritted teeth. He threw her down into the mud but she took him with her. Neji's katana was embedded in the dirt somewhere far and she was the only one with a weapon. In their caked mass of filth, Sakura grinned widely at him, pressing her body close to his so he couldn't move.
" I win." She whispered; her face was only a few short inches away from his.
Despite the cold battering of rain, Neji could feel her warm breath on his mud-spattered skin. The heat between their bodies became evident and increased with the prolonged contact. Neji tensed considerably; his mouth set into a stony, grim line. Sakura was slick with moisture and dirt against him, bringing to the surface a few of his newer fears.
" Say it." Sakura said, innocently pressing into him. " Say I won."
Neji pursed his lips tightly as he viewed her teasing smile.
" Hmph." He finally let out.
It continued to storm outside as Neji stepped into the Bunke's residence. The shoji slid shut behind him as a puddle of mud and water encircled every step he took. The maids would clean it later on; Neji wasn't in the mood to worry about the condition of the house. When he reached the end of the hall, he peered back at the figure that looked a bit hesitant to follow him.
" It's either you get sick by standing by the door or coming with me and staying healthy." He said, deadpan.
Sakura flashed him an irritated look and followed him the rest of the way. But as soon as Neji turned around to head further into the house, Sakura slowed down and wrapped her muddy arms around herself.
It was actually the first time she'd ever been inside the Bunke residence. In the couple of years she'd been spending time with Neji she'd never experienced a true invite into the Hyuga household. Like the exterior, the interior was also of the traditional style. The floors were a rich, polished mahogany and every wall had an ongoing ancient design that reached the ceilings in a more intricate pattern. When they passed the seating area and the immense front foyer, Sakura noticed the continued use of mahogany overtones in the rest of the furniture that were made plush with embroidered silk cushions. She thought it was a shame that her and Neji were tramping through the house as dirty as ever.
She followed him through the winding halls until they came to a section of the house where she perceived the guestrooms to be. Neji opened one of the doors and pointed her ahead.
" The bathroom's inside." He said briskly. " There's an extra yukata in the closet. Just leave your clothes on the chair and one of the maids will pick it up."
Sakura nodded slowly while suddenly realizing the stiff feeling behind her neck. The mud that caked her arms was drying into a dusty crust and was falling to the floor from her fidgeting.
Fidgeting ?
Say something, she urged herself forcefully. He's finally giving you some damn hospitality…so SAY something…
" Thanks."
" Hn." He replied. His body language indicated that he noticed the odd buildup of tension, which Sakura seemed to radiate.
Neji left her standing there wondering where the hell her mind was going. As he turned his back, finally ignoring her, his hands slipped to the hem of his beige shirt and pulled the grimy cloth over his head. The illumination of lightning swept the moistened skin of Neji's back, highlighting every taut curve of muscle. Then he disappeared into the shadows of the hall.
Sakura swallowed the large lump in her throat and staggered into the bathroom. Upon closing the door behind her, she leaned against the door and shut her eyes tightly in attempt to rid herself of the heat in her blood.
Don't be idiotic and think of things you'll regret later……
The feeling of her battle victory against Neji died down as she readied the bath and removed her soiled clothing. Even the warm water failed to completely relax her muscles because of her state of mind. Sakura couldn't remember when she started thinking of him more—all she knew was that in the daytime those thoughts were easier to control than the ones at night. In the darkness of her bedroom, Sakura's mind would conjure up unspeakable images surrounding Hyuga Neji……all leading into the sensual aspect. She continued to see him during the day and enjoy herself, hiding all evidence.
Sakura felt her entire body flush heatedly while fumbling for the elusive soap bar. Between her memories of Sasuke and Neji's presence, a knot of loneliness had formed and she believed that Neji remedied it—whether or not he noticed. But now she found herself wanting more from him. So much more.
In a separate section of the house in the Bunke's private quarters, Neji had finished cleaning up and he relished the sensation after a bath. His body felt overused to the point of soreness and it secretly impressed him that Sakura could physically push him to this extent.
Hey Neji, do me a favor and don't fall in love with her.
The phrase had grown extremely familiar to him throughout the past years. Naruto's simple words turned into a silent promise for him to follow. Ever since that day those words haunted him with each minute he spent with Sakura. There was a certain danger that came with her. Not a danger of enemies, but a danger of emotion.
Emotions were an extra discomfort and it made it simpler for Neji to avoid anything remotely tied to it—that's why his role as an Anbu shinobi was so easy. Adding emotion to any situation just made it more difficult than it needed to be.
But as time dragged on, Neji was forced to understand that he had begun to need her……Sakura. It hadn't mattered if the only way she'd be close to him was during battle; all that existed were the periods of time they had. It didn't matter if she was in love with someone who wasn't alive anymore, someone who still had her heart—a ghost that lingered on.
It didn't bother Neji……at least that was what he strained himself to believe. As long as Sakura was with him physically, it didn't trouble him that she always loved someone else.
LIAR. An accusing voice inside Neji's head shouted.
Leaving his hair loose to dry, Neji swept a stressed hand through his long locks. He was in no mood to entertain further taxing thoughts.
Sakura tiptoed out of the bathroom clad in only a towel. She headed over quickly to the closet and pulled out the yukata. The arm length was a bit too long, Sakura discovered as she put it on. No matter, it was comfortable nonetheless.
Across the room was the bed, plain and simple, just like the rest of the room. It wasn't anything fancy like the main part of the house. Maybe the Bunke didn't entertain much; the section of guestrooms was probably from long ago.
The mattress was calling her name and Sakura obliged gratefully by slumping onto it. She burrowed into the covers and willed herself to sleep…to forget. Rolling onto her side, Sakura let her exhaustion flood her body.
A creaking sound resonated through the room a few minutes later; the door had opened slowly, quietly. A figure stepped in and moved through the darkness with impeccable stealth. Each step brought the shadow further into the room toward the chair where Sakura's clothes lay.
Neji breathed an irritated sigh. Upon settling down for the night he found a message from one of the maids saying that their day off had been prolonged because of the terrible weather and they wouldn't be returning until the next day at noon. It was a grudging task but Neji trudged back to the guestrooms and reluctantly obliged to throw Sakura's clothes in the laundry basket—the first and only time.
He found her on the bed, lying at ease on her back. Another flash of lightning highlighted her delicate features. The features of a desirable woman. A gravitational force seemed to pull him toward her; Neji's bodily protests went stark blank against the impulse. Although turmoil created numerous appalling jabs inside him, Neji suddenly found himself sitting at the edge of the bed.
Against the screaming objections in his head, the Hyuga reached out a hand and gently swept away the stray strands of pink across Sakura's face.
What am I doing ?……
So beautiful.
This was why he continued to see her everyday, this was why he frowned less when she was around, and why he'd taken it upon himself to feel pain because she loved someone else……
This was why he allowed himself to be vulnerable at this very moment.
Making sure that Sakura was asleep, Neji moved closer until his parted lips hovered only centimeters from hers. An overwhelming feeling cascaded into his system as his pale eyes wandered hungrily over her face.
A last phrase from the depths of his mind floated to the surface.
I'm going to regret this……
Then Neji leaned forward and kissed her softly. At first it was singular but then it expanded as the movement of his lips on hers deepened carefully. His long locks of hair fell softly to the side, mixing with hers on the pillow. A gentle finger traced her cheek softly as Neji moved to place a last kiss on her forehead.
Somehow the lonely pain inside increased but at the same time took weight off his shoulders. If he could have only this, Neji took the moment for all it was worth.
When contact stopped, Sakura felt the scorch that Neji's kisses left on her skin. Her body pumped her in a request for more but she lay still. She was left with remnants of his musky scent as she heard the door close.
Neji… A warm and happy smile lit her features.