Welcome, to the worst fic I have written! In it I make fun of some of the things in other fics that, unless they are written with unbelievable skill, I cannot stand. I was inspired…by boredom. Please, try to enjoy. That's all I ask.
Disclaimer:
Pwale has been bound and gagged.
Inuyasha: You people don't need to read this!
Miroku: She doesn't own us! Thank BUDDHA, NOT ANY CHRISTIAN GOD!
Jenny: Aren't you guy's over-reacting?
Mr. X: Have you read this!
Jenny: No…
The story is shoved at Jenny.
Five minutes later Jenny raises her eyes to meet Pwale's. She couldn't have looked more horrified.
Jenny: Just what exactly possessed you to write this…this…this…
Sesshomaru: Dear gods, you've made Jenny speechless.
Inuyasha: NO! YOUR JAPANESE! SHINTO MAN, SHINTO! NONE OF THIS 'GOD' BUISNESS!
Sesshomaru: I'm also a demon lord. It's Pwale's influence, I tell you. I've been spending to much time around her. I should have never signed that marriage certificate.
Al: LET'S KILL HER!
Others: Yeah!
Lia: We must not let this evil happen ever again!
G
She's A Christian!
A story to make fun of all other stories…
By Pwalefriend
G
"Well, now that the jewels complete, I'll just be on my way!" Kagome cried as she walked out of the hut, her big yellow backpack in her arms.
"Oh, wait!" Inuyasha called. "I'll walk you!"
"Okay!" Kagome said happily. "Gee, Inuyasha…I'm so glad that you decided to become human with that jewel!"
"I know!" Inuyasha yelled. "But when I thought about it, I just knew that I had to become human! I mean, I know that it is impossible for me to be completely human without dying of old age, or having my brain malfunction, or just dying of blood loss, but…it just worked out in the end! And all that disorientation that any half-wit would have expected…COMPLETELY GONE!" Inuyasha, the human Inuyasha, beamed at Kagome.
"Really?" Kagome asked. "Wow…I'm surprised…"
"I was just like…OMG the entire time." Inuyasha said, nodding fervently. "Oh…by the way…another thing I noticed? I'm gay…and head over heels for my brother!"
"No!" Kagome shouted. "What a coincidence! I'm in love with your brother too!"
"Really!" Inuyasha cried. The pair started to jump up and down, clapping their hands together and squealing. "OMG, we're like…TWINS!"
"That's totally gangsta, yo!" Miroku shouted…magically appearing in the clearing.
"PERVERT!" Sango screamed, also suddenly appearing as well and slapping Miroku for no apparent reason.
Inuyasha and Kagome shook their heads.
"He'll never learn…" They both said, sharing a smile.
Suddenly a boy who used to have brown hair but now had sandy hair due to fan-fiction jumped out of the well.
"Hey!" He shouted, waving his arms in the air. "Look at me! I can come through the well for no apparent reason!"
"Hojo-kun!" Kagome cried in joy, leaping into his arms. "I'm going to come to you to get revenge on Inuyasha for being a jerk, even though I know he can't help it, and even though I'm in love with his brother!"
"Yeah baby!" Hojo shouted. "I knew you'd come around, even though I, being as clueless as I am, am so sexually frustrated that I give you medication! Yay! Let's make cookies together!"
"Oh…Hojo…" Kagome sighed dreamily.
"Oh, aren't they just so cute!" Sango said happily. "Well," she said briskly, turning around. "I'm going to go brood and then try and kill my brother and myself again, even though I promised that I wouldn't! Come on, Kirara!"
"That's in the Hood, yo!" Miroku said, making a gangsta symbol with his hands and going off to be a pervert…for no particular reason, just to get him out of the clearing.
"Wanna know something else, Kagome?" Inuyasha said. "I suddenly and miraculously am Christian!"
"Really?" Kagome gasped. She leapt out of Hojo's arms. "OMG! Another coincidence! I'm Christian to now! I love Christmas, and so does my whole family! Even though my grandfather is an obsessive Shinto priest!" Kagome took a big breath. "And I know all about Christmas, and it's a huge deal to me, even though in Japan it's as much of a consumer holiday as Halloween is in America!"
"Wow! LIKE OMG! Like, the same goes for me!" Kagome and Inuyasha started jumping up and down again. "Like…TWINS!"
Suddenly, as people seem to do, Sesshomaru pops out of nowhere, but Kagome, who returned to Hojo's arms when we weren't looking, doesn't notice him. Inuyasha does.
"Sesshomaru…" Inuyasha stared at his sexy brother, who just stood there doing nothing.
"Inuyasha, though I hate you because I blame you for our father's death…" Sesshomaru said slowly. "…I find inexplicably attracted to you. I believe we shall kiss now."
"Oh, yes, Sesshomaru my love!" Inuyasha cried before jumping into his brother's arms.
Shippo started to serenade the two couples.
"It's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes-"
G
Kagome jerked upright with a scream. Her clothes were soaked with sweat and were clinging to her body. Her companions, who were circled around the warm campfire, looked at her in confusion. Kagome glanced around, taking in her surroundings with relief.
She had been sleeping. It had all been just a dream. She was in her sleeping bag, and she had gone to sleep early because of her headache, which she had developed from being in direct summer sunlight for the past week or so. Her friends were normal, well…as normal as they ever were, and they were looking at her in concern and confusion. There was no human Inuyasha, there was no Hojo, there was no completed jewel, there was no Sesshomaru, and there was no rapping Shippo. It was all…as it was. It was all as it should be.
"What's wrong Kagome-chan?" Sango asked.
"Did you have a nightmare?" Shippo asked wisely from Sango's lap. Kagome took a deep breath and nodded.
"Yes," she said. "A nightmare…a nightmare that might have scarred me for life…but only a nightmare." And with that she got up and began to walk from the clearing where they were camping for the night.
"Hey! Wench!" Inuyasha shouted angrily, shooting to his feet. "Where do you think you're going!"
"I'm going…" Kagome said. "…To throw myself off a cliff…"
"Huh?" Inuyasha was confused until what she had said sunk in. "Wait a minute! Kagome, you're not serious are you!"
G
And so ends, thank the gods, the worst fanfic I have ever written. Well…maybe Remember Me was worse…but still!
Please review anyway!
Sincerely
Pwalefriend