At the cocktail party later that night…
I felt like a queen as I stood in front of the mirror of the girl's lounge while waiting for Sadie to put some finishing touches on a stunning turquoise dress that dad had insisted she let him buy for her. Of course, Sadie hadn't argued, and I was glad he had done that for her because she really needed to feel beautiful. Turning back to my image, I sighed at the way my dress clung—self-consciously smoothing my fingers down the sides as my hair swirled around my shoulders and a pair of gold studded earrings swung from my ears. Portia had insisted that the makeup artists swirl a bit of gold glittered eye shadow on my eyes, and my pupils practically glowed from the effect. All in all, they had done a brilliant job on me. Now, if only I felt as stunning as the dress made me feel. Sadie finally turned to me with a smile.
"Let's go introduce that room to the two brilliant Harrison sisters." She said with loud exuberance as I raised a brow at her and grinned magnanimously as she pulled me ceremoniously from the room, although I had to pull on her arm to remind her that I was wearing heels that were a little too tall to run in. The room was dim and filled with crowded bodies and small conversations as Sades pushed open the door, and I felt like some strange, alien intruder as we made our way through the chaos. Darius stopped us several times to introduce us to his protégés before clearing a path for us to the stage. I saw Spied smiling at me from beside the dais and I waved at him before separating from Sadie and moving in his direction. Jamie stood beside him, and he whistled at me in a low tone as Patsy slapped him on the rump.
"Watch it big boy. I know how to kill someone just by sticking my fingers through their eye sockets. Care for me to demonstrate?" Patsy remarked wryly from beside Jamie as he rolled his eyes and pinched her teasingly on the cheek.
"Don't worry sexy. I still prefer my women a little on the dark side. Just don't pull a vader on me and end up being related to me because by all means, I don't play that kind of game." He said on a chuckle as Patsy rolled her eyes and I grinned at the two. Jamie was a huge, and I mean huge, part of my world. I couldn't make it through half my dramas without him. He smiled at me sheepishly as Spied suddenly grabbed my chin and turned my face towards him.
"You look absolutely delicious." He said in that sing-song voice that so characterized him. I grinned at his 'devil may care' body wrapped in a pretentious black suit, and I couldn't help but appreciate the affect myself.
"You don't look so bad yourself, Johnny Cash." I said as he pulled me towards him and dipped me in a mock bow over his arm.
"Damn, I was hoping that dress would be cut lower." He said as he looked conspicuously down my V-cut top before lifting me back up. I swiped at him with the back of my hand as I looked curiously around the room.
"Have any of you seen Tom?" I asked suddenly as Spied's eyes narrowed and Wally and Kyle coughed incessantly in the background. I felt incredibly bad about the fake cases of tuberculosis the boys suddenly seemed to have developed as they choked their way over to the punch bowl. Oh, yeah something was definitely up.
I was walking through the back of the building still looking for Tom as I walked suddenly into a small hallway off to the side of the room assuming that it led to a bathroom in the back. I was incredibly shocked when I ran into a very agitated Tom Quincy instead—covering my mouth with my hands trying not to burst out laughing as I noticed his dilemma.
"Tell me you're not trying out for America's Next Top Model." I said on a snicker as he glared at me from the corner of the room.
"Ha ha ha. Something tells me that your home boys out there are about to re-discover their childhoods because I am seriously about to punch them back into the last decade." He said as he lifted his arms sardonically. I knew the guys had been up to something. I circled him critically as I looked at his suit which had visibly been shortened in both the arms and the legs making him look as if he were wearing capris and a short-sleeved suit top. Wow, the guys had really gotten creative. It's a good thing I knew where Portia hid her emergency wardrobe.
"Oh come on now. I really like the 'Alice in Wonderland' look you're going for there, Quincy. I must admit that I really find those 'make you larger' drinks are really the big things these days. Quite a fad you know." I said humorously as he snorted in derision before perusing me appreciatively.
"You must have missed the memo then, Harrison, because you look splendid, almost like a Greek goddess stepping off Mt. Olympus to flirt with us mere mortals." He said seriously as I felt my jaw drop at his compliment. Oh, he had so said the right thing. Pulling on the collar of his shirt, I motioned for him to follow me with a wry quirk of my finger.
"I'm going to be your savior tonight, Quince, so let's make sure we correct this wardrobe malfunction you seemed to have…um…stumbled into." I said with a small cough as he raised a brow before clearing his throat audibly. Something told me he was enjoying the view as I led him into a small room just off the girls' lounge. Pulling open the door, I started leafing through a stack of saran wrapped garments until I came up with a bag marked 'TQ-spare.' Tom smiled thankfully as I handed him the garment, and my jaw literally fell to the carpeted floor as he suddenly unbuttoned the front of his shirt before dropping it ceremoniously to the ground. I just couldn't help but gape as he pulled the new one on and he chuckled as he took a sudden step toward me. I just gulped.
"Would you like to button it, Harrison?" He asked mischievously as I stared wide-eyed at his naked torso. I had barely remembered how to breathe when he laughed and buttoned the front slowly with a pointed purpose.
"Now would be a really good time to turn around, Jude." He said huskily as I heard him unzip the front of his pants. Oh, Dear God! I spun around and squeezed my eyes shut as tightly as I could as I heard the sound of clothes being re-arranged behind me. God help me, but I was on fire! Tom cleared his throat and I turned back around to find that the spare suit was, thankfully, a perfect fit.
"I guess I owe you one." Tom said with a wag of his brow as he held out his hand to me. I grinned as I placed my fingers into his palm, allowing him to lead me out into the dark rooms beyond—letting the crowd of bodies press in around us as we headed for the stage. Spied's eyes darkened as we approached them, and I pulled my hand away from Tom as I hid it behind my back as if it would make me feel less guilty. For God's sake, I had practically watched Tom strip, and the only thing I could think about was 'why the hell had I turned around?" I almost groaned as Spied motionedto the stage.
"We need to go on." He said quietly as he glanced conspicuously at Tom.
"A little late aren't we Quincy?" He asked with a gleam in his eyes as Tom perused him in disgust.
"I found myself suddenly a little 'short' on time." Tom remarked wryly as the tension in that room revolved around us like a meandering, thick fog. I quickly pushed myselfbetween the two.
"Definitely time to go on." I said emphatically as I grabbed my guitar and headed toward the stage. The lights dimmed as Darius pointed at the stage before whistling and announcing his Instant Star while giving me a look that said 'make it good.' I looked over at Tom before turning to the guys and telling them to play the chords for the new song we had been going over. Spied looked at me strangely as Kyle and Wally smiled and started in on their instruments. Spied soon followed suit and I let them solo in an intro for the piece before I finally began to sing.
In the distance I saw a light
Like a beacon in the night
Shining a way, I follow bemused
My mind is all confused
Dejected and betrayed
Hurt and desperate, I cry
I run, my debt unpaid
My world becomes a lie.
Chorus:
It's a desperate need I feel
As it consumes my very soul
Grabbing at my heart
Taking utter and complete control
You've buried yourself there
Under my tarnished skin
Becoming my source of air
My one forbidden sin
You give me courage
You allow me to be afraid
Teaching me that strength
Is fear that's being slayed
Chorus:
It's a desperate need I feel
As it consumes my very soul
Grabbing at my heart
Taking utter and complete control
You are my private torment
My need for retribution
You are dreams I've spent
In disquieting distribution
A growing object, nurtured
You are like a seed
My soul is constantly tortured
You are my desperate need.
I finished on a halting note as I noted Darius's nod of approval before bowing slightly at the audience and exiting near the back of the stage. It always happened without me actually realizing I had done it. On occasion, I wrote a song here and there about other people—their lives and how they have affected mine, but then there are those songs that I don't realize that I have written for 'him' until I have belted them out for all the world to hear. This one was about my constant battle between loving the man I was already with compared to the man I couldn't seem to live without. And both men seemed to know it. Ahhh, my resplendent need for hopeless complications. I had to fix this—I had to make this problem go away. But how?