Notes: Kind of... an AU, I suppose. More of a 'what if' - if events had played out as in DaMoF, how might Light and L's relationship have progressed from there, and would subsequent events have been different? This also has a planned sequel, which will cover up to 58.
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On the surface, as far as other people were concerned, it seemed as though nothing had changed.
Light, however, knew differently. Neither of them had spoken of it since; the game continued - but now they were on a new level.
L still stared at him, studied him with those wide, dark eyes... still bit his thumb, tongue darting out occasionally across the ragged nail; childish, really. But Light could see what had not been there before. And when they were alone...
"L."
He stood by the window, looking back across the quiet room; only one chair was occupied, and the small table was covered with a tea set and biscuits.
"Yagami-kun, it's Ryuuzaki."
He smiled and shook his head, approaching slowly to stand behind the chair. L peered up at him, an upside-down vision of pale skin and biscuit crumbs. Light placed his hands possessively on the back of the chair, the other's messy black hair brushing his knuckles.
"You're welcome to call me Light, you know; surely we know each other well enough for that... Ryuuzaki." He forced some humour into his tone, and watched as L blinked once, twice, three times.
"...if you like."
Light frowned as L turned his attention away again, reaching out for some tea. The room felt cold.
Yes, at first, it had been like that...
"What's wrong?" He moved to stand beside L, hand trailing lightly across the back of the chair so his fingertips brushed L's shoulder. Without hesitation, those black eyes rose to meet his, almost defiant.
"I am thinking about what I'll have to do if you are proven to be Kira, Light-kun. After all, we're getting close to the second Kira, as you well know."
Ahh, well, that was acceptable; he could deal with that. Light leaned down and smiled, bringing his hand up - (the hesitance came so easily now; L responded better to it) - and gently touched it to L's jaw. Light didn't think he'd ever get tired of that look - the one which made him so certain of winning this; the one which gave L away; the one which revealed, all in a single split-second, that fear, anxiety and confusion.
But there was something else there; something else which made L raise his own arm, wrapping warm bony fingers around Light's wrist. L didn't pull Light away; he never did.
"You don't have to worry about that," he said softly, running his thumb over L's lower lip, "would I be here if I was Kira?"
L closed his eyes then, and allowed Light to kiss him.
Neither of them needed to voice the unspoken 'yes' which hung heavy in the air.
But it never took much.
That was the last time they had spoken together in private. Now, Light sits in his cell with only Ryuk for company, wondering if L will act as anticipated.
He does not expect for L to give him special treatment because of what's happened between them; that was never the plan. But as he was led away by Aizawa, he'd glanced over his shoulder at L, and silently mouthed, 'I'm sorry'.
No, L would not clear him of suspicion yet - but there had been a flicker of doubt there, and a little concern... and for the moment, that was enough. After all, the real progress with L would be made after today.
"Light-kun... it's only been a week so far, but you already look so exhausted. Are you all right?"
Even through the tinny speaker which adds a level of distortion to L's voice, he can tell that L isn't just asking purely out of cold curiosity.
"Yeah... even I can't think that I'm in good shape like this..." he twists his mouth into a tired smile, but keeps staring straight forward, blankly at the wall. "But, all the claims I had to my ridiculous pride... I'll forfeit them."
A minute later, and he's blinking up at the camera near the ceiling, wide-eyed and confused.
So, back then...
He'd left the café that day with the pavement wet and glistening beneath his feet, and the fresh, damp air brushing his face. Ryuk had hovered beside him, uncharacteristically silent. Although it was tempting, he did not stop to look back, and did not think too deeply on it. Why should he? He had initiated it; he was in control. It was his advantage; L's weaknesses were just so easily exploited.
And anything potentially clouding L's judgement could only be a good thing.
As Light had expected, he saw L again the very next day - walking through the university grounds, shoulders hunched, shoelaces trailing, looking distinctly out of place.
"I'll see you later, okay?" He said goodbye to one of his girlfriends - (Yuka was this one's name, right?) - a gentle touch to the waist and a playful push in the other direction. She giggled and waved, calling out something he was no longer paying attention to as she ran off.
When he looked back again, L was perched on a bench just off the main path, toes bare and curled compulsively around the edge of the wooden slats. His expression was blank as he tilted his head and eyed Light speculatively as he approached.
Light had suspected that this might complicate things a little - but, with Misa now in the picture, he did not have much choice. L bit his thumb and continued to stare as Light sat beside him, and for a moment, neither spoke.
The weather was strangely calm after the rainstorm of the previous day; the air was still and cool, and faint ripples of sunlight sifted through the trees and dappled the grass around them. Light sighed and leaned forwards, staring resolutely at the ground as though embarrassed.
"Ryuuga... I'm glad you came," he paused, but there was no response. "I wanted to apologise for yesterday, because I didn't consider your feelings at all. If I've made things awkward, I'm sorry."
He risked a glance up then; saw how carefully L was watching him.
"I'm glad I came, too," L was gripping his knees and looked faintly contemplative, "Yagami-kun has an awful lot of girlfriends, don't you think?"
"I..." Light trailed off and bit his lip; trying to look guilty, awkward - as though caught in the act. "I... don't know what to tell them."
Inwardly, Light was intensely irritated. Why, today of all days, was L so difficult to read? He had an idea of how he should play this, but there was always the risk he would alienate L further. Well, he had to do something, and, weighing the outcomes, the possible gain made it worth it.
He chanced a subtle glace around to make sure that no-one else was nearby, and leaned in close, determined to provoke a reaction. "Ryuuga..." It amused him that L's gaze flickered briefly, down to Light's mouth, but he kept his expression sincere. "It's because... I hate hurting people. You understand, don't you?"
It was a poor excuse; Light knew it, and he assumed L would come to the same conclusion. However, he was also taking the risk that with L, it wouldn't matter - as long as the emotion behind it appeared sincere; boyishly human, it would be acceptable.
This, of course, relied on his assessment of L's character. But it made sense - L's reasoning being what it was, he would naturally come to the conclusion that Light was seeing girls to maintain his image. And from what he knew of L's personality, L might regard it with curiosity... but wouldn't really care.
A hint of a smile seemed to touch L's lips, and he raised his eyebrows, gaze dark but faintly amused, "you seem to be awkwardly trying to apologise, Yagami-kun."
Light smiled uncertainly, but knew he was almost there. L clearly was not averse to yesterday's kiss, and in fact, might even...
"Well, I--"
"Don't," L cut him off in that quiet tone, and then surprised Light a little by closing the short distance between them, and murmuring soft, warm words against Light's lips, "please don't bother."
There was a strange look in L's eyes, then, but Light decided that it was of no consequence.
And that was all it took.
Suddenly, he's just so confused. Why is he doing this? It's unreasonable, irrational, just... utterly illogical.
Why did he tell L he thought he might be Kira? L, who was... who was...
There's a strange, nervous feeling twisting him up inside, and he strains up to try and get a little closer to the camera. "Ryuuzaki... I know I was the one who suggested the imprisonment and chose to be in this situation... but now I realise there is no point to it! Because... I'm not Kira!" He swallows, throat painfully tight, "don't you know me well enough by now? Look at my eyes, I'm not lying!"
He sits back numbly as L's cool, analytical response echoes in the small cell. He understands the need for it, of course - but, he and L... weren't they...?
He feels strangely detached as he runs over the past few weeks in his mind; university, the Kira case, L... and then Misa, of course.
Misa... he wonders how he can not have felt guilty about the situation up until now.
He sits under the harsh artificial light and frowns, hair falling dark and lank into his eyes. Everything's a mess, and he knows it's his fault.
Light winces slightly as the blow comes: "Absolutely not. You cannot be released."
In a way it's worse, because he understands why; understands L's logic. But then, that's probably why they'd got on so well.
Suddenly, the room seems colder and more isolated than ever. But, he thinks, this is his own fault, and he's going to fix it. Light's mouth settles into a determined line, and he glances up to the camera - towards L, suddenly realising uncomfortably that he misses seeing him.
But together, he knows, they will catch Kira.