They were lined up in the following order from left to right, since they were too stupid to know their own ages: Baby, Zidane Tribal, Princess Garnet Til' Alexandros the 17th, Beatrix, Rikku, Tifa, Cloud, Paine, Kuja, Yuna, Tidus, Lulu, and Wakka.
Auron was marching toward Wakka's baby as if he were a commander in the military. "Okay, squirt, where were you at 10:23 this morning?" he asked seriously.
"Goo goo?" Baby replied.
Auron went over to Zidane, who was scratching his butt as usual. "Hmm . . . well, you appear to have tater juice and pealing all over your face and hands. Then, that must mean that . . . . . . . . . . . .(Drum role) . . . . . . . you're a professional detective! Congrats, kid!" he complemented, rubbing the top of Zidane's hair.
"Hey!" Zidane complained. "I'm not a kid! I'm sixteen years old!"
"So, monkey kiddy, what were you doing at 10:23 this morning? Taking a little kiddy nap?" Auron asked.
"Grrr . . . No! I was eating Wak-er . . . uhm, I was invading Garnet's privacy while she was smoking!" Zidane said.
"Garnet! I'm telling your mother, Queen Brahne, about your usage of nicotine!" Beatrix growled.
"Zidane Tribal! I'll have your head for this nonsense!' Garnet scolded.
Auron headed toward Garnet. "So, Princess Zelda, what were you doing at the time, learning how to flush the toilet?" he asked.
"Ah! How dare you insult the princess of Alexandria! I was shopping for a new dress!" Garnet scolded.
"Oh yeah, where is it?" Auron asked suspiciously.
"Right here! See, it's on my body! It's white with gold sequins!" Garnet pointed out.
Auron stepped up to Beatrix. "So, hot chick, what were you doing at the time, eating bologna and sneeze?" he asked, smirking.
"How dare you accuse me of eating peasant food! I was drinking wine!" she said.
Auron walked over to Rikku. "So, Rikku, what were you doing at the time? Flirting with me?" he asked.
"Heck no! I was studying the anatomy of Cheeze-Its!" she said.
"Prove it, you disgusting varmint!" he yelled.
Rikku pulled out a microscope and a Cheeze-It cracker from out of her belt pouch.
Auron walked over to Tifa, who was hugging Cloud. "What about you, beautiful nose?" he asked dreamily.
"I was kissing Cloud! See the lip marks all over his face?" she asked.
Auron went up to Cloud. "I was being kissed!" Cloud said.
Auron went to Paine, who was popping her knuckles. "I was eating grass!" she yelled.
"Prove it!" Auron demanded. She smiled, revealing grasshoppers and grass in her teeth.
"Oh, I wish I had teeth like that!" Tidus whined.
Auron walked up to Kuja. "So, pretty woman, what were you doing, hunting for a place on your schedule where you could meet me for the movies?" he asked, hearts for eyes.
"Grrrr! I am the Dark Prince Kuja! I am not a freakin' woman! I am Zidane's evil big brother!" Kuja screamed.
"Whatever you say, sugar!" Auron replied.
Auron went up to Yuna. "What about you, ugly piece of a fish eye!" he called.
"Ah! Shame on you, Auron! I am Summoner Yuna from this island! I was watching Tidus eat! He's so cute when he eats!" she replied.
"So, Mr. Bad Athlete, what were you doing, clipping your disgusting brown toenails?" Auron accused.
"No! I was eating!" Tidus yelled.
"Lulu, Wakka, what were you two doing?" Auron asked.
" I was in the house angry at Wakka's poem!" Lulu replied.
"I was crying beside of you because my tater was gone!" Wakka said. " My precious!" he started to cry again.
"Go home! We'll continue the investigation tomorrow!" Auron ordered.
We'll did you like it? Figure out who the thief is? Please read and review!