Hey! Only 3 chapters left after this, for a total of 7 chapters! Hope you enjoy this! This used to have alcohol, but I decided it would be better to use Coke, and I hope you all do, too! Have fun!

Chapter 4: Tidus's Drinking Spree

After the tiring investigation, Tidus decides to go hang out at the local bar to strike up an interesting conversation.

"Hello there, Tidus. Wanna drink?" The bar dude asked.

"Sure. I could go for one about now," Tidus answered.

"You look beat. This one's on me," Bar dude said. He put a Coke mug in front of Tidus.

Tidus drunk the Coke straight down within one Milo second. "More! More! More! More! More!" Tidus demanded, hitting his fists against the bar table, causing all of the dishes to rattle.

"Okay, okay, Tidus, I'll go get you some more!" The bar dude insisted. "But these are on you!" He brought some Coke mugs over to Tidus. Tidus drunk 561 Cokes.

"Buuuuuuuuurrrrrrrppp! Hiiiiiiiicccccuuuuppp! Ahh . . ." Tidus said happily drunk.

"It's getting' around noon. Why don'cha go hang out with Yuna for a while, eh?" Bar dude suggested.

"He . . . he he . . .he! Okay, pretty woman!" Tidus laughed with his eyes not really focused on anything. He stumbled out the door and headed to Wakka's house.

"Okay, ya, Tidus will be here any minute!" Wakka assured, since everyone was tired of waiting and mumbling about how they want to go suck on dog biscuits that are smothered in delicious cow manure.

"He he . . .ha he ho!" Tidus giggled as he climbed over a little hill beside of Wakka's garden. He kept falling over as he tried to climb it.

"Hey, Tidus, me cat! Where have you been, ya?" Wakka greeted.

"Hiccup! Burrp! He he he. . . I'm Rikku's mother-in-law! He ha ho!" Tidus replied, eyes rolling around in his head and barely keeping his balance.

" . . . I have a mother-in-law?" Rikku pondered, her eyes making direct contact with Cloud's boot, which had a small blade of grass upon it.

"Lulu," Wakka said.

"Yes, icky worm?" Lulu asked, looking deeply into her husband's eyes.

"I want to read another poem to you that I wrote. Ahem:

'Roses are red,

The sky is blue,

You are crazy,

And I am too'," he read to her.

Slap!

"Ouch! Why'd you do that, honey suckle?" Wakka asked, rubbing his cheek, which had a big red hand print on it.

Tidus walked over beside of Cloud, grabbed Tifa by the hair, and stuck his finger in her ear. "Ooooh! Earwax!" Tidus said gleefully. Then he licked it off his finger and threw Tifa on top of Wakka and Lulu's roof.

"Heya, Cloudy! You sure are growin' up, burp, fast!" Tidus told him, rubbing Cloud's hair.

"Hey! What's wrong with you, Tidus?" Cloud asked.

"He he he! Let's see, you're four years old now, arent'cha, Cloudy!" Tidus asked. He then ran behind him, grabbed Cloud's underwear, and pulled it so hard that he lifted Cloud off the ground!

"Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhggggg!" Cloud cried and winced in pain.

"H he he ha ha ha ho ho ho!" Tidus and Wakka roared in laughter.

"Okay! You can put him down now!" Garnet yelled.

Tidus dropped Cloud onto the ground and walked over to Yuna. " Hey there, babe!"

Yuna smiled at him and jumped onto the back of his shoulders. "Honey, I love you. Will you take me to Auto Zone?" she asked.

"Sure, fatso, I'll piggyback ride you there later," Tidus said.

Yuna was so angry that she jumped onto Wakka's roof with Tifa and jumped off, with her dress working like Mary Poppin's umbrella, and floated in the air. She magically came down and landed into Zidane's perverted arms.

"Hey, babe!" Zidane told her. Yuna blushed and kissed him on the lips.

"Wh-wh-what about me, gorgeous?" Tidus asked, crying.

"Pervert!" Yuna called to him, sticking her tongue out afterward. Then she and Zidane continued to kiss.

Tidus made a Coke mug with Coke in it magically appear in his hand and drank it, fainting in the process.

So, was it good with Coke instead of beer? I felt more comfortable with soda pop, since I'm typing this at school and all. Please read and review! Come back, all of you!

Next chapter: Some one dies!