I found it almost amusing in a rather sick, twisted sort of way how there always seemed to be a number of people already gathered on the other side of the crime scene tape by the time the cops got there. The sun had only just started to rise and already a case had come in. It wasn't surprising, considering...just sickening. Olivia and I exchanged glances as we eyed the crowd before us and I shook my head.
"You think any of them know anything?" I asked. She smirked.
"I think they're using this to wake them up instead of drinking coffee like normal people." As she spoke, she tugged the Styrofoam cup that I was holding out of my hands and took a sip before starting forward. "Might as well get this over with."
The crowd parted as we flashed our shields at them and we crossed the tape. Melinda looked up at us as we did, and sighed.
"She was strangled," she told us bluntly. "No signs of any fluids as of yet, but it's obvious that she was raped."
"Can you give us a time of death?" Olivia asked. Melinda nodded.
"Given the body temp when we got here, I'd say anywhere from ten to twelve hours ago, but I won't be sure until I get her to the morgue."
It was seven o'clock in the morning. From what we'd just been told, our victim had been dead since at least seven o'clock the night before. I wondered vaguely then whether or not anyone had missed her. From the looks of it, she was only about eight...she should have been home at seven, not out with someone she didn't know. But it wasn't that fact that caught my attention.
"Was that there when you got here?" I asked. Melinda glanced at me startled, before looking towards where I'd pointed and nodding.
"It was super-glued on," she said. "CSU tried to get it off, but they couldn't, so they left it. Why?"
"No reason," I replied vaguely, "I was just wondering. Anything else you can tell us before you take her?" Melinda shook her head.
"I'll call you if I find anything," she replied. She turned away then and motioned to her assistants. Within minutes, they were moving the body. I remained where I was, watching them go. The body had been covered again, but it had already been committed to my memory like so many others before it. It wasn't until I noticed Olivia waving her hand in front of my face that I realized we were still standing next to a playground structure, and suddenly I was back in the present.
"What?" I asked. She cast an almost concerned look at me, eyeing me intently for a long moment before speaking.
"You all right?" she asked in reply. "You look like you just saw a ghost." I bit back the sudden, mad desire to laugh. She had no idea.
"I'm fine," I replied. "CSU tell you anything yet?" Olivia shook her head.
"No," she said, "I was waiting for you, but you spaced out on me...are you sure you're all right?"
"I'm fine," I repeated. "Let's find out what CSU has to say." We walked towards the technicians that still remained; they looked up at us and exchanged glances, sighing.
"Looks like a dump job," one of them said. "No signs of blood or a struggle...your victim was more than likely dead when she was brought here."
"Is that all you can tell us?" Olivia asked, sounding annoyed. The one who had spoken nodded.
"Whoever did this is determined not to be caught, Detective," he said. "We've been all over this playground structure twice...there's nothing."
Nothing. For some reason, I wasn't surprised. I'd been trying to convince myself that this was all a coincidence since seeing the victim's body, but I was starting to believe now that it wasn't. There was no way it could have been.
"Third time's the charm," I said dryly. "Maybe if you go over it again, you'll find something." All of the technicians stared at me then, as if my screws had suddenly come loose; I stared back at them.
"What?" I asked. "You can't hear or something?" A split second later all of them had gone off to go over the structure for a third time. Olivia stared at me.
"What was that all about?" she asked. I shook my head and turned to face her.
"Nothing," I said, "It was nothing. But you can't tell me those idiots didn't find anything around here...there has to be something."
"No, there doesn't," Olivia countered. "You know as well as I do that sometimes there's nothing for us to go on right at the scene...what's gotten into you?"
"Nothing's gotten into me," I told her, "I just...it's too early in the morning for this sort of thing."
Olivia laughed. "Too early?" she asked. "That's the last thing I'd expect to hear from you...maybe from Elliot, but..."
"Liv, I don't want to have this argument right now, all right?" I said. "I just want to see if those guys get anything this time around and then get the hell out of here."
"We still have to notify the victim's family," Olivia said quietly. I gave her a look.
"I know that," I told her. "I know. But we can't exactly do that until we know who she is, can we?"
"Detectives!" The voice of one of the technicians broke into our conversation; we exchanged glances before walking over to where she was. She held out a plain white envelope upon seeing us.
"This was underneath one of the slides," she said, "Guess we missed it the first couple of times."
"You think?" I asked sarcastically, taking the envelope. The tech cast an exasperated look in my direction before walking away; Olivia swatted at me, but missed when I moved, and silence fell.
"Your hands are shaking." Olivia's voice brought me back to the present for a second time, and I looked at her before looking down. She was right. My hands were shaking. And as much as I hated to admit it, I was almost scared of what I was going to find inside the envelope.
"You want me to open it?" she asked. I shook my head and turned it over, glad that it was only taped shut. The sound of the tape ripping off of the paper seemed to echo; I glanced at Olivia, startled that she didn't notice, but she was too busy giving me that look...the one that meant she thought something was wrong and she'd be damned if she didn't find out what it was.
"You look like you're about to be sick," she said, "Let me have that." She reached forward to pull the envelope out of my hands. I pulled away from her and scowled.
"Leave it alone, Liv," I said. She narrowed her eyes at me, moving so that she was standing behind me. I reached into the envelope and withdrew an ID card...one those cards that parents sometimes get their kids so that if anything happens, people know who they are. A smiling, blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl stared back at me. I'd been right. Makayla Lawrence had been exactly eight years old...her birthday had been yesterday.
"God..." Olivia's voice sounded behind me, more disgusted than anything else. "Doesn't get any worse than that."
"No," I said quietly, "It doesn't." I looked towards the crowd; there was still a good amount of people standing around, just watching. I wondered for a moment what would happen if I drew my gun and fired off a shot, just to make them go away. My hand must have moved to my holster to do just that, because the next thing I knew, Olivia's hand was on my shoulder.
"Don't," she said. "The last thing we need right now is for you to end up shooting someone."
"I'd like to think I have better aim than that," I muttered dryly, glancing back at her, but she shook her head.
"Better not take that risk," she told me. "Let's just...let's just see if they know anything, and if they don't, we'll go back to the precinct."
I nodded wordlessly, figuring that it was best for me to just agree with her, and I stowed the ID card in my pocket before we moved to cross the tape. Olivia looked at me right before we did so, stopping dead in her tracks so that I was forced to halt as well, to avoid running into her.
"If you don't want to do this, we don't have to," she said in an undertone, so that those closest to us couldn't hear. "I'll take you back to the precinct."
"You take me back and all these people disappear," I replied, "Then where would we be?"
"We're probably not going to get anywhere as it is; look at them," she said. "How many of them do you really think know something?"
It was a question she'd asked before...a question all of us had asked before, and the answer was always the same. We were always right about it too: no one ever knew anything. And if they did, we wouldn't see them until a few days had gone by, when they were sure the danger had passed. If it pissed us off enough with adult victims, it pissed us off even more when the victim was a child.
"None," I said finally, "But it's still worth a shot." She gave me an appraising look before allowing me to lift the tape so she could move under it; I followed, and we split up.
I lost track of time then. I didn't know how long we'd been there by the time Olivia finally came walking towards me, nor did I want to. The look on her face was enough to tell me that she hadn't gotten anything, but I asked, anyways. She shook her head.
"You were right," she said, "None of the people I talked to knew anything .What about you?"
"If they did, they weren't saying," I said. I turned so that I was facing the playground, looking directly at the spot where Makayla's body had been. "You know, she wasn't that far from home. A few blocks and she'd have made it."
"Let me see that ID," said Olivia. I pulled it out of my pocket and handed it to her; she looked at it for a long while before handing it back.
"Well, we know who she is now," she said. "Might as well get it over with." She didn't have to elaborate on what she was talking about; it was evident that she meant notifying Makayla's parents about what had happened to their child. I found myself silently praying as we walked back towards the car that Makayla hadn't been an only child; this sort of thing was hard enough for parents to take as it was.
"Give me the keys." Olivia held her hand out to me, and I reached into my pocket a second time, this time drawing out a keyring and handing it to her, thankful that she' d somehow figured out that I was in no mood to drive. I got in on the passenger's side and she looked at me for a long moment before we left.
"You know I'm here if you want to talk about anything, right?" she asked, almost tentatively, as if she were afraid I'd explode. I nodded without saying anything, staring out at the road ahead of us. Olivia sighed.
"What's eating at you?" she asked. "You've been acting weird ever since we saw the body...why?"
"It's nothing," I told her, the words coming out more harshly than I'd meant it to. "Just leave it alone, Liv. It's nothing you need to worry about."
If I'd said this to Fin, he would have left well enough alone, but I knew better than to think that Olivia would. She always seemed to know when something was bothering me. And I had no doubts that sooner or later, she'd get me to tell everything...everything that I'd been trying so hard to forget.
But then again, no one ever really forgets the first case they ever worked. I was no exception. Olivia glanced at me once more before making a third turn and we found ourselves parked outside a brownstone home not too far from where we'd just been. I closed my eyes, leaning back in the seat, suddenly hesitant to move.
"I'm not doing this alone," Olivia told me flatly. "You're coming with me." Her words left me with no choice. She got out of the car and a few seconds passed before I followed, a cold, numb feeling settling over me. The sound of Olivia's fist on the door echoed louder than the sound the tape had made coming off of the envelope not long ago. The door creaked open, and a little girl looking to be no older than five appeared.
"Who are you?" she demanded, eyeing us intently. I watched as a faint smile appeared on Olivia's face, but said nothing as she answered.
"We're police officers," she said. "Are your parents home?" The girl continued to eye us for another long moment.
"I wanna see your badges," she said bluntly. I chuckled softly, more to myself than anything or anyone else; it was obvious that this child's parents had taught her well. Olivia and I both showed her our shields and she pulled the door further open to allow us entrance.
"Katie, who's at the door, sweetheart?" A woman's voice came floating from a direction that I assumed the kitchen was in; the girl looked at us again before answering.
"It's the police, Mommy," she replied. "They gotta talk to you 'bout something." Footsteps sounded. Katie walked up the stairs, looking supremely unconcerned with what was going on. I envied her that innocence as I watched her go; her mother appeared in the entryway and Olivia looked at me before speaking.
"Are you the mother of Makayla Lawrence?" she asked. We watched in dead silence then as the woman's face went pale. She stumbled backwards, clutching at the doorframe behind her to keep her balance.
"Oh, God..." She started shaking her head, then, closing her eyes as if when she opened them, we wouldn't be there, and this would all be a crazy dream. "Is she...is she..."
"She was found in a park near your home early this morning," I said, sounding more hollow than I usually did when informing a victim's parents of their child's death. I cut myself off as Mrs. Lawrence began to cry, making no effort to hide her emotions. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Katie, sitting at the top of the steps. She was crying, too, more than likely because her mother was. I hoped she didn't know the meaning behind what I'd said, but that in itself was unlikely.
"We're sorry for your loss," Olivia said quietly. "But we'll need you to come to the medical examiner's office to identify the body."
Medical examiner's office. That was another thing about the job. We never called it the morgue when the victim was a child. Always the M.E's office...Mrs. Lawrence nodded through her tears and wiped at her eyes.
"Just tell...just tell me when," she said, her voice shaking. Olivia and I exchanged glances before turning to look at her again.
"We'll be in touch," Olivia told her, and then we were gone, out the door, and back into the cold, but I didn't feel any of it. Olivia, on the other hand, did; I watched as she pulled her coat closer around her as we walked back to the car.
"That was hard," she remarked finally, quietly. I looked at her for a long moment before nodding.
"Yeah," I said, "It was. You driving or am I?"
"I will," she replied, and for that I was grateful. We got in and left, and I couldn't help but look behind me as we did, staring backwards until the house had long since disappeared from view.
"You all right?" Olivia asked again.
"I'm fine." I told her. And earlier, I had been. Now, however, I was lying straight through my teeth. The envelope I'd been handed at the crime scene was heavy in my coat pocket. There was a note inside. I had the feeling I knew who it was from. The little charm that had been glued to Makayla's lips had been a dead giveaway.
It had been a Maryland flag, all red and yellow and black and white. The last time I'd seen one of these murders had been in Baltimore. I'd been a rookie then, the newest of the murder police. And as luck would have it, I'd ended up with the first red-ball of that year.
That had been nearly twenty-four years ago. And I was still, even now, trying to forget