Muv-Luv Reversal

by Zuoriel

Takeru has been leading a normal life until now. During the summer vacation of his second year in college he's invited by his high school friends to meet up again, to which he agrees. Shirogane doesn't know that this decision would release the nightmares that have been haunting him for some time, nightmares that would be better left forgotten.

77. Shirogane (II)

A/N: The same warning of the prior chapter applies for this one, disturbing dark content lurks in this entry.

Proceed with caution, reader discretion is advised.

As one little suggestion, I recommend you to read this chapter while listening to 'Guts' from the Berserk OST. That's all for now, see you at the end of the chapter.

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"You see, the war, the true war, has never been one waged by droids, warships, or soldiers. They are but crude matter, obstacles against which we test ourselves. The true war is waged in the hearts of all living things, against our own natures, light or dark. That is what shapes and binds this galaxy, not these creations of man. You are the battleground. And if you fall, the death of the Republic will be such a quiet thing, a whisper that shall herald the darkness to come."

Kreia, from Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords

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Chapter 77:

Shirogane – Howling Towards a Distant Earth

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Time and Date Unknown.

(In the middle of the foggy wasteland.)

[Kasumi]

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A pleased bark, the fox stops in its tracks, looming over me. Covering my mouth and coughing, I clear the small hill that impeded my steps. Taking a moment to sigh, the Professor's representation merely stares back at me before standing and slowly moving forward. Following it with my gaze, I finally catch a first glimpse of the location it was leading me to.

Through the fading mist, shapes begin to take form. Large expansions of foliage, from left to right, covering the horizon. It is not a normal forest, however. The shapes of trees, of their branches, would make one think people are being kept prisoners within the bark, trying to scream for freedom. Vines or something resembling them drips from the treetops, almost like corroding muck. Small flickers of light, stares shining within the dark, the bark, enlarged flowery shapes which fall and devour one another, surge from one another like matryoshka dolls. Wood that sweats, roots that twitch, the leaf eyes which remain all locked onto me, shifting patterns behind the foliage's cover.

Billowing from the soil, walling itself against the incoming moonlight, the wilderness towers over me, a cradle hoisting distorted yet stitched masses that crawl, that feast, that prey upon one another incessantly.

Gulping hard, unable to endure to cyclopean spectacle before me, I close my eyes and step back. Another bark, a cackle, the fox remains staring at me. Taking a pouncing stance as I hesitate. All it takes is me stepping closer, feel the stench meet my nose, for it to relax. Spewing the two little puffs of fur it had in its mouth, ears and tail standing in attention, it cackles again before darting into the mutant forest, casting one final glare, one final growl from within the veil as its shape mixes and blends with the foliage.

Alone under the light of this crescent moon with a cross in its lower half, alone under the stare of the wilderness, the rustle and echoes of it all, time passes me by as I imitate a crab's walk in my indecision. The roots look like they'll spring out from under the ground as soon as I approach, the slimy vines would perhaps fall upon me and restrict my movements. Who knows what else lurks within that bog?

But Takeru-san must be beyond this place. I could always turn around… but that would equal forgetting all about him if he never wakes up. I inhale into the humidity, seeing the expansion of my sigh in front of me as it departs.

"It's for Sumika-san's sake… for the Professor's sake… for Alternative IV's sake…" One step, knees quiver. The vines twitch or wobble, their gooey shape seeming to wiggle upon my footsteps. "It's for… humanity's victory… I must not be afraid, they're counting on me… It's for Takeru-san, to wake him up before it's too late…" The twinkle of lights resembling eyes lock onto me, the cloak of shadows creaking and shifting with every step I take. "I have to be brave… I have to," otherwise, Alt IV might not reach success, Sumika-san may never be able to regain her self once she becomes the 00 Unit. And I'll forget about it all, all about him, as if he had never even been there to begin with.

I don't want that, I don't want to lose these memories, I don't wanna forget about-

"Are you truly certain this is a wise decision?"

"H-Huh?!"

Frantically looking around, I spot two eyes lunging at me from within the foliage. Swatting the fluid vines which tried to prey on its shape, the shadowy figure takes its time to approach me. Stepping on the gushing flowers, dismissing the crying shapes in the bark, slow yet undaunted. A slim figure of medium stature meets my gaze as it's bathed in the faint moonlight, a prim and proper office attire with a pencil skirt, all in pure black with the exception of what resembles a white handkerchief on a breast pocket.

Those eyes… those cerulean eyes remain locked on mine through the veil, as if drilling into my soul. I take a step back, her eyes squint. Trying to hasten her approach, a minute frowning, a momentary grimacing and stumbling. One of her legs is hurt, there's a stain growing through the leggings. It does not impede her exit through the cyclopean forest, now standing merely a few feet away from me. Garbed in all black, her paling features offer great contrast. A stare frozen in place, cerulean eyes which I've only seen in others like me, silverish white hair done in two slim pigtails which I've also only seen in others like me. Yet, she remains quiet, silent, observing me intently. Nothing in her posture indicates aggression, yet for some odd reason I cannot sense her aura despite how she's not being grayed out as every other person was in this dreamscape thus far.

"Who… are you?"

"It is unimportant," she says, shaking her head. "Why are you here, young Yashiro?"

"Eh?! W-Why do you know my name?"

Not even reacting in the slightest, she takes a step forward, never lifting her eyes from mine. "Why are you here, trying to advance into the forest?" She repeats, not altering her monotonous voice.

"Uh… I was… looking for someone, guided by a fox. Who are you?"

"I see, so the fox brought you here," she whispers, nodding while grasping her chin. "Tell me, what do you hope to accomplish in this forest?"

"…Um, why are you asking me these questions? Anyways, who are you?"

"I suppose someone such as you could already have a hunch on who, or more precisely what, I am. As for why I'm inquiring into your motivations to be in this place, it's because you should not be here, young Yashiro."

Lips fold in, my hands shake. Resisting the reflex to cough at the foothold of dampness in the air, I instead step forward. "Why? I mean, why are you- how can you talk to me? Everybody else in the dreamscape hasn't reacted at all to my presence. And there's no other ESPer in the base. Wait, did so much time pass that the Professor requested aid to bring me back?!"

"Easy there," she comes closer, lightly petting my head. "No such thing is occurring in the outside world."

"How do you-"

"Simply take my word for it."

"B-But if you're an ESPer-"

"Matters not to your objectives who or what I am, right? In any case," what at first was a gentle hold turns into a firm grip, her features freeze further as her sight clashes into mine, "you should turn back and return to the waking world, now."

"I refuse."

She blinks, gradually easing her stare. "Why would you?"

"I have to bring Takeru-san back. I won't leave until he returns with me."

"…Takeru-san, huh," she seems to chuckle, letting my shoulders go and crossing her arms then playing with a pigtail. "Surely you're aware of the dangers that herein lurk?"

"What dangers? I admit the forest looks scary… b-but I believe I can traverse it without much issue," I reply, returning the unblinking stare. After all, I just slip through almost everything in this dreamscape.

"I see, so you do not know."

"…What are you talking about?"

She looks back, gesturing towards the forest. "This place is one of the deepest recesses of this person's mind. To advance further beyond equals to sink into what he actively suppresses. The thoughts that in this specific area reside are strong enough to bring harm to you, were you to see even a glimpse of them."

"And how do you know this?"

"I am an observer, just as you."

"So… Why are you in Takeru-san's mind? Why are-"

"At ease, young Yashiro. I am not an enemy," she says, holding my gaze, squinting hers. "Merely know that you might receive injuries should you try to advance further, to delve into what traumas lie in another's mind is to allow them to echo in yours. Do you not know the saying? If you stare too long into the abyss-"

"The abyss stares back into you. Yes, the Professor is always repeating that phrase," I sigh, feeling my limiters flopping down. She nods, folding both arms behind her back, staring. "Um… So, if you're not an enemy… What is going on outside? Why did the Professor ask you to dive into Takeru-san's mind?"

"…Therein lies the problem we both face, albeit for different motives," she looks back to the forest, I slowly walk up to her side. "I am here for… surveillance purposes, on my own accord."

"Surveillance? Why are you stalking Takeru-san's mind?"

One of her eyebrows twitches, lips and throat also do. "I am not doing anything of the sort," she says, frosting again.

"It certainly looks like that to me."

"Hmph… Quite rude, aren't we. You suck," she then looks away, slightly frowning, crossing her arms tighter. It lasts only a second, she reverts to the prior composed and stoic facade. "In any case, I am seeking the same as you albeit for different reasons."

"…Why are you after Takeru-san? Why would an ESPer-"

"I was here before you, and I shall remain after you. I merely observe, that is all. Yet, on this particular occasion, I have deemed it imperative to assist in the awakening of the soldier," she says, almost choking one of the pigtails. "In any case, while I praise your grit to have reached this far, what lays ahead is too much for your mind to handle, young Yashiro," looking at me, back to the neutrality of a frozen pond, she holds my gaze.

Looking down, losing stillness to the seizing humidity, once more I shake my head. "I won't. Takeru-san… He recognized me for a moment, he should be ready to wake up."

"Then, why hasn't he?"

"…Do you know?"

The edge of her lips sinks, she gazes back at the forest. "I have a hunch. Yet, knowing the fox now lurks within this place, it is better for you to turn back." Looking back, drilling back, she closes the distance, standing over me. "Strong echoes can harm the mind and distort your self. Do not take lightly what this Black Lilith is meant to represent, young Yashiro."

"Black Lilith? What are you-"

She points upwards, to the moon with the inverted cross. "Such is the sign of the black moon, the darkest reaches of a mind. As someone who also used to stargaze frequently, I can understand why the soldier's mind would place such a symbol in this particular location. So," curling her hair on a finger, she again stares through low eyelids, "care to guess why the fox brought you here?"

"…The Professor must have wanted to help Takeru-san, obviously."

She scoffs, sighing short. "Is that so. The fox does want to find the soldier, that much is true. Well, I cannot waste any more time. I have warned you, should you choose to advance know that you might physically suffer from what memories are buried herein." And without awaiting a response, she turns around and strolls towards the forest once again.

Watching her back, then up to the moon, gulping and shivering, I choose to quickly jog after her silhouette, covering my head from the vines that reach out to grasp at my limiters, stomping forward as something thin and slimy tries to sneak into my shoes.

For a moment, there is only the strong odor of decay, of humidity. The sinking soil on contact with my feet, the mire seeping in between my fingers, faint rustling about amidst the foliage. Merely advancing a bit is enough for the bark to truly become human-like, the wood darkening. Antennas rising from where eye sockets should be, more of that molten goo from a witch's cauldron, more stares from within the filth. Bark that crunches whatever is within it, the, um, greenery taking a grotesque, larger shape. The overbearing dampness makes it hard to breathe, the convulsion of the foliage makes it hard to want to breath in.

"…So you've chosen to ignore my warning," I hear her say, she was waiting for me albeit not looking my way. Slowly swatting another vine that seemed to try to drop onto her, a single eye scans me thoroughly.

"I… I want to help Takeru-san, I don't want to forget about our time together. Will you help me find him?"

"I suppose. However, I do not know if I am able to shield you should something grab onto you. You will have to look out for yourself if you desire to remain safe."

"What do you-"

"Step forward, and remain quiet. Close your eyes, I will make sure it only lasts a moment," she says, raising a hand as if to chop something. As I hesitate, she squints her eyes. "Will you turn around, instead?"

"N-No, I… don't want to. You won't hurt me?"

"You might be hurt, but not by my hand. Worry not, it won't last long," she states, firmly, her gaze does not waver. Her aura remains a mystery, yet if she had ill intentions there is little I could do to defend myself properly without her needing to resort to trickery.

Giving then a minute nod, I take a single step forward as my eyes close. There is nothing odd, only the distant disquiet of the wilderness. Why did she ask me to close my eyes? Maybe, she's taking her leave as I stand here, blind to my surroundings? And anyways, who is she even supposed to-

Cold, wetness sieving into my shoes, up to my ankles. Swirling around my leg, something clasps a sturdy shackle onto it. Crawling, crawling on the back of my knees, spreading, extending that damp, filthy sensation over my legs. Opening my eyes, some sort of… of… Thin, yet sturdy, whips of gurgling goo, whips which crawl like spiders over me. Not just one, many of them, many small tendrils which raise and pull me down, seeking to disturb my balance.

Breathing is hard, I look up at the woman for support. She remains still, unconcerned, staring. Palpitations rising, rising as those tendrils do, now tearing the low end of my dress, I raise my shaky hand to get them off me.

Only to end up jerking back and forth, only to feel needles dig onto my wrist. The vines, the vines that drip like sludge from the treetops cover my arm, a few leaves filled with dilated eyes staring into me from within the slimy substance. As if with a life of its own, the muck spreads through me up to my shoulder, a prickling feeling piking at my skin, burning.

"A-Ah! It hurts! M-Make this stop, why are- M-Mmghh!"

Mire invades my lips, infestation overflows my throat. Everything loses its defined shape in my sight, distortion similar to watching everything from underwater taking over my eyes. Feeling as if sinking into a downwards spiral, the threads of light retreating, my ears start to ring, to clog. Trying to cough, trying to struggle only serves to further advance the infestation. Limbs grow heavier and heavier, harder to resist, harder to swim and fight the invading stream. My nose is running, but in reverse. That burning bile seems to also regress, and I might as well have boulders pressing themselves onto my eyes and lips, the cascade of mire doesn't end.

Yet, something, something small twinkles in the distance. Echoes, echoes edge closer, closer. Through the water veil, falling upon me, ripples which grant clarity to the liquid.

And I can see red.

Red hair and eyes. And the night sky. And a tree, the tree by the hill.

Why am I seeing-

Heaviness, gagging me. Burning, searing, my throat constricts. As indifferent as the streams of characters of a program, running on automatic, the flash does not halt as I scream and wail. No matter how much I bash my head about, the error persists, the horror persists.

A chop on my head, air suddenly enters me again.

"Cough! Cough! A-Aahhh… Ugh… Kgh…" Unable to stop the reflex, more heaviness molds my back as that pain flees my insides.

And yet, something's stuck. It hurts, I choke on it. Squeezing through the pit of my throat, I see something dangling from my lips. Squirming, and turning, and convulsing. Moving on its own.

It only furthers my puking, until it slides out. Until it joins all of the other ones, all the moving spaghetti-like parasites that are sinking in sickly green.

"There, there," the woman pats my head, it feels strangle soothing, her fingertips running through my scalp. "It's okay, it was only-"

"I-I could feel it, down to my stomach. Those worms, entering my mouth, forcing themselves-"

"It was only a memory, not one of your own experiences."

Shivering at first, for some reason it's growing unbearably hot. Hugging my shoulders, biting my lips, I close my eyes, shake my head. "I-I felt it! The rush of all those small tendrils, over my arms, into my lips, my nose, my-"

"Calm down," she presses my face into her chest, patting my back strongly for a moment. Entangling onto her, I cry in silence, something drizzling from my lips as I shake the urge to continue to release whatever is swirling within my stomach. "To bear another's suffering opens you to feeling it on your own flesh. You seem able to do so without much effort, so this is the outcome of what should happen if you are not careful while performing a proper mind dive."

"B-But it… It was all over me, and I could-"

"It is not one of your own experiences. Focus, dissociate it," she whispers, circles over my hair.

It hurts, ears ring, and buzz, and screech, and feel stuck. Enduring the damp sensation which still lingers in my feet, taking in a deep breath after another, those images replay in my mind. She gently wipes my arms, the liquid that had started to harden taking some effort to depart from my skin. As the hold of the damp mire over me fades, the first flashes return to me.

"…It was Sumika-san?"

"Looks like you're stable once more," she says, breaking the lock my hands had on her back, separating us. "Do you now see it was not you who suffered through those-"

"W-Why?"

"Hm?"

"Sumika-san… defiled by those- those things… W-Why does Takeru-san know of that? Why did it felt so real, so vivid?"

Closing her eyes, she shakes her head. "I am not the one to answer such a question. Yet all you saw, no matter how brief, is something the soldier has gone through at one point. If the recollection felt vivid for you, then whatever the reason why he was made to see such events, they felt equally as vivid for him at the time," she says, the ice never faltering.

Did… the 00 Unit show such a thing to him? With the full extent of her powers? For what reason? Such a- Such a twisted, sickening- Ugh… Kgh…

"Cough! U-uhhh…" Throat burns, hard to breathe…

"Sigh, you truly should not proceed any further," a delicate rustle of my bangs, of a cheek. "You won't be able to withstand any memories that-"

"No!"

"However, you're clearly-"

"I refuse! If Takeru-san is… enduring this everyday… Hic… Why?" Why remain quiet? Why not ask me to suppress it if it hurts to such extent? How could Sumika-san do such a cruel thing to him?

…Such a sickening, infestating feeling. Was that how… she was taken to her current form? Hollowed out from the inside? Ugh… N-No, focus, don't fall to the reflex, deep breaths…

A few breaths, regaining my rhythm, I look up at the immovable ice mask that scanning me remains. "If I follow you into the forest… Will I see more of these memories?"

"Indeed. The one you saw was a rather surface level thought, something the soldier would like to repress but cannot fully do so, for whatever reason. I am able to resist the impulse to scan such thoughts, while you still seem to rely on… those bunny ears you wear for the control of your powers."

"What? Why do you know of-"

"Matters not," she says, shaking her head, again slicing a vine in half, stomping one of the crawling insectoid-flower hybrids back to the mud. "If you choose to continue, know that you may fall to another of such memories. And if you cannot dissociate what you see before it starts taking hold into your mind, the damage might be irreversible," sharpening her eyes, lowering her tone, she so states, staring until I give a nod. She then turns around and resumes her walk, not even slowing down despite her attire, the harshness of the bog which still tries to prey upon her pristine form.

A single droplet runs down my back. Dirt still clogs my fingers, sticking them together at parts. Spitting away the toxic that lingers in my mouth, I take in a sharp breath and follow after the woman once more. She merely looks at me, saying nothing, expression unchanging, before locking her sight forward once more.

We traverse the pulsating forest in silence. Only a thin glimmer of moonlight filtering through the trees, the eyes that upon us stare. Flowers that munch and chomp on one another, slow movements around the shadows, claw marks on the bark, on the figures. Thin, thin branches take on an arachnid form, tying the trees to one another.

Able to see my breath, walking with an eye on the ground to squash any small vermin, any small tendril that tries to lunge, and another up to scan whatever may fall upon me, to tame the repeated piking on my nape, I can only envy the precise, almost graceful stride of the woman. Unfazed, unblemished by this all.

"Um… Miss?"

"Yes?"

"Do you know how to exit this place?"

"I do," she retorts, not looking back nor changing her speed, not even as I almost stumble while trying to catch up.

"Does that mean that you've been in Takeru-san's mind before?" She did seem to allude to that before.

Looking back at me, she merely shakes her head. "It is unimportant."

"Then, why are you observing him?"

"I have my motives, as you do."

"Uh, well… Can you tell me of how you plan to wake Takeru-san once we find him?"

"…We should remain quiet, young Yashiro. Predators lurk within this place."

"Eh? Predators? But this is Takeru-san's-"

The trees shake, leaves falling, eyes sinking into the mire, melting. A gust blows, cold and seizing. A rumble in the ground, ripples in the puddles, squinting are the eyes within the bark, the arachnid branches regress into the leaves.

"Tch… Sooner than I thought," she rasps, beginning to frown.

Screeching, shrieking like a thousand cannons firing off at the same time, a low roar rushes through the foliage. Not of anything natural, instead burning.

Complexion tightening, she grabs my wrist. "Hurry, or it'll find us."

Without wait or warning, she pulls me to follow, my feet dragging on the stickiness. "What is going on? Why are-"

"Make silence, and hurry up," she says, low, showing me her gritting teeth as her steps grow in strength, as her eyes squint as she exerts her wounded leg.

Through the roots and flowers, through the screams and compulsion, we run and run. Wood creaks, a scream follows. Another rumble, a tree is tumbled. There's even distress in the repulsion within the muck, all of the grotesqueries above also fall back.

So I then cast my gaze backwards, and meet two large eyes. Two violet eyes in the distance, almost out of sight. Eyes that could very well be as large as myself.

Eclipsing the foliage, a staircase of fangs lunge through the damp dark. Those eyes, vacant and swirling eyes the wolves had were now in another beast. A colossal fox garbed in proud purple, rippling with muscles, metallic wings shredding the bark and foliage, giving chase.

Letting out a cackle when I stare, into those monochromatic eyes.

"Hurry!" The pull on my hand grows hurting, I lose a shoe, something sinks into my skin.

Panting, gasping, gaping, the periphery blurs. I run, and run, and continue to as something crawls up my back, echoes of clanking metal growing violent, wood crashing that feels closer, palpitations clang and clang within me.

And I keep on running, until the grasp on my wrist seems to slip.

Something catches my feet, my sight spins, everything grows dark. Dampness in my face, coughing right after as yet again that filth permeates my lips.

Shivering as I leave claw marks on the soil, I look back. Finding those eyes, that tempestuous monochrome chaos staring into me. The unbearable heat of the breath on my face, the thread of saliva which burns as it falls, the metallic fangs which resemble a twister. Mucus ingrained deep in the skin, the scent of sickness corroding within. Features so sharp one would deem it a machine, yet those wide, starving eyes betray such an assumption.

"Get down!"

Cowering upon the warning, I immediately feel heat basking on me. Fire and sparks dive onto the maw, walling onto the fox. Skin and steel beginning to burn, the beast shrieks as it recoils.

Hurrying to my feet, hands almost slipping with one of those helix-like vermin, I rush towards the woman that lights up a small object, throwing it towards the beast that roars once again. Immutable in front of the blossoming blaze, frowning when retaliating with yet another of those small explosives, she then covers my retreat, pushing my back towards a respite in the foliage, light incoming through the thicket.

Reaching a clearing, I spot nothing to hide in, nothing to guard myself with. Looking around in a daze, another roar reaches me, both feet collide on one another, I stumble to the soil again.

The spiral of a maw swallows through the greenery, casting a large shadow over us both. Yet, its eyes squint, making the wounds on its jaw contort, bleed. Avoiding the moonlight, it slides back into the shadows of the thicket. A step back, another, the beast retreats. Eyes squinting harder, head lowering and lowering. Almost afraid, as if touching a source of heat, before it violently leaps back into the darkness of the distorted and atrocious foliage, shredding and maiming what obstructs its escape.

"Haa… Haa… T-That was so scary," placing a hand on the base of my neck, only sighing in relaxation is what I can afford. Even if the slimy feeling at the contact with the soil and the stench remains all around me, weakness and limpness comes to my limbs, air freely seeps in and out of me.

"Siiigh… We were lucky this time," she says, nearby. Looking up and around, I find she was rubbing the wound on her leg, grimacing. "If this clearing hadn't been close, we'd have sustained a few injuries, to say the least," she sways her hair backwards as she slowly raises up, offering me a hand.

Which I take, almost stumbling as my ankles seem to have deactivated. "Um, what was that… thing?"

"You already know, it is the fox."

"Huh?! B-But the Professor isn't an enemy!"

The hold on my hand tightens, as do her features. "Lower your voice, and do not call the beast by name. You'll attract it again," she scolds, brows lowering.

"However, why would-"

"Your views on reality matter little in this place. Logic will not work out in this particular situation."

"T-Then, are you implying it was really going to… try and swallow us?"

A moment of silence, a minute nod. "This is the fox's hunting ground, one could say."

"But why? Takeru-san wouldn't… He doesn't…" Gaze falls down, silence sets in as a faint breeze blows.

"…Have you ever had a voice whisper something to you, on the back of your head?" She asks, looking up at the dark clouds, at what little we can see of the moon from this clearing.

"A whisper?"

"Yes, a whisper. As if you were talking to yourself, yet the voice is not your own but at the same time similar," sighing, she again plays with her hair, eyes falling to the mire. "Such intrusive, recriminating echoes seem to plague the soldier's mind as of late. The predators in this recess hint at that, at what is that he hears, almost out of reach."

"I don't understand… The Professor is-"

"Do not summon it!" She scolds, lightly hitting my shoulder.

"S-Sorry… However, while she's harsh, why would she take this shape in his mind? It makes no sense, I think… I think Takeru-san really likes the Pr- her, deep down."

"…I am not who should answer such a question," she shrugs, sighing. "Perhaps, you could take a wild guess on why would the soldier view the fox in such manner."

"B-But she isn't- I don't believe it's fair." The Professor might be harsh at times, yet she wouldn't drive us to such a chase, she wouldn't threaten me or Takeru-san in that way. "This must be a mistake, it has to- Huh?"

In the middle of the clearing, behind us both, there was something large sitting, sinking into the toxic. Craving the skies, clawing at them, a rusted Gekishin raises a hand. Completely overtaken by moss and corruption, by slime and mire. Broken and twisted like an old toy, just as ice would thaw upon warmth does its armor now surrender to the elements.

"What is this?"

"One of the, ahem, sanctums within this area. A lone moment of respite the soldier had, before facing unforgivable suffering."

"That's… the unit he was using during that mission called Iceberg, correct?" She nods, slowly. "Why would this place be a safe area among all this madness?"

"…Matters not. Simply know that the fox despises the moonlight and that… the stars grant some measure of peace to the soldier, which is why the rest of the corruption that falls upon the area cannot infest these locations."

"But these are still painful memories, right?"

"Yes, of course."

…I don't understand. How could something traumatic give him any measure of peace? Rubbing my hands together, dispelling the chill that's beginning to stick to me, my sight remains on the slumped machine.

She sighs, also running her hands up and down her arms. "In any case, we must make haste. The fox might have retreated, but it will soon resume the chase. We cannot idle by or it will surround us," she then takes in a sharp breath, returning to tending her wound.

…The fingers stretched to the skyline. The visor that so does too. Is this one of the things he prevented me from seeing during our recovery sessions? If only I were stronger, notifying the Professor of his inner suffering might have allowed her to devise a way to aid him truly recover.

Bent at places, sunken at others, lines and markings of dogfighting plague the plating. Now that its laying on the ground, it looks almost as large as the fox despite the treetops eclipsing it. Scars deep as a canyon in the cockpit area, small sections missing, the wilderness making nest in the void. The lines of green, of mire and corruption… almost moving like in a pattern over the steel, the rust…

Like waves hitting the shore, like a puppet's strings…

Like that stain, that trickles on the side. That missing chunk on an arm, as if chomped.

Something echoes, far away, a voice coming from above water. The smells seem to vanish, vanish as the erratic patterns of green fills my view. Fills it up, until it's all dark again.

But not really, because I can see the sky. Small dots, tiny dots above. The stars, far away. Twinkling in the distance, never faltering, no matter what. A cloud of fireflies daring the dark with their tender illumination, always up there for us to look back at. So shiny, so beautiful…

"Please, be safe…"

What? But I didn't-

Pressure on my neck, on my heart. Something clings onto me, hands, nails. Biting, sinking, slicing.

It hurts, but it feels cold. So very cold, colder than the dampness of the bog all over me as we walked.

Again, that rocket. That rocket that departs. It hurts to breathe, I can't feel my arms.

"Fare… well," the voice, Takeru-san's voice, whispers in collapse.

Nothingness. Are my lips moving? I cannot hear anything. Struggling, thrashing, twisting, nothing seems to work, I don't feel it working. Legs, arms, eyelids, nose, heartbeats, anything.

Absolute.

Unbreakable.

Silence, utter silence.

Something shakes, the sky moves. A warning beep, the visage of the stars disappears. Metal shrieks in pain, bent, bending, being bent, a small crack appearing in front of-

Red. Teeth. A large hand.

Limbs feel heavy, can't even scream.

What was cold suddenly blazes in full focus, an arm is twisted and twisted. Ice blades my blood has become, piercing my veins and flesh, only to shrink back to liquid. And start again, higher on my arm, seeping through the pores, dampening it all, mangling the flesh.

With every bite, with every nibble.

With every crunch, with every chew.

Burns, then it's so cold. Burns me so much, like that one time I touched an oven barehanded. Then it's so cold, like when an ice cube got stuck to my tongue.

Again, and again, and again, and-

Pain, on my head. Everything swirls, I shiver and quiver. Hazy, fuzzy, a pair of eyes gain form above me.

And then, she sighs as she places a hand over my head. "I told you to be careful in this place, didn't I?"

"…Huh? I- COUGH!"

From the pit of my stomach, the reflex surges and doesn't stop. Soreness, that expands inward with every breath I take. Simply coughing, any and all air leaving me, everything graying out.

Something covers my mouth, something soft. "Breathe in, slowly. You'll hyperventilate otherwise." I do as told, closing my eyes, hands resting on my neck.

Hiccups that refuse to leave. Dryness that hurts to heal. It takes a minute, or perhaps ten, maybe more. I cannot tell, and my lips feel dry, frail, and broken.

"Can you remember who you are, young Yashiro?" She asks, brows furrowing tightly, lowering a knee to the ground, a hand to grasp my cheek, thumb on my chin, forcing my sight to return hers.

"Ye- Cough… Yes. What was," I sigh, taking in a long breath, shivering at the cold blanket that falls around my shoulders, the wind that howls, continuing in a whisper, "t-that vision?"

"I suppose, one of his final moments. Are you uninjured?"

"…He was dying?"

"Yes, so I said. Most of what you'll see here are what death repressed from his conscious mind," up and down, the silky hand comforts me, the monotonous voice never falters. "Are you feeling well enough to stand?"

"I think…"

"If not, I believe I can send you back to the waking world."

"No… I can- I will stand. Just give me… a moment, please…"

Shivering, running a few fingers over my arms. That same slice of ice tears into me, spurring a beating, a swelling sensation on the back of my head. The feast that monster had on my arms, the cruel slowness of the killing, and yet there was… no fear. Pain and the reaction it brings were there, I believe, but… Looking at the Gekishin, that faint whisper, those final words.

Why was he content at such an outcome?

Resigned, yet feeling fulfilled. Believing to have… saved someone? Did he sent his lover with the migrant fleet, then? Right, Takeru-san didn't knew there were so many BETA in the universe then. Perhaps he also knew of the possibility of failure of the migration, yet found solace in sparing his beloved the pain of Iceberg.

…He now knows they might have died, or would have as soon as the BETA made it to the target planet.

A pointless struggle. Nothingness, except pain.

So this is why he takes so much to stand up every morning, why he insists on clearing his mind. Aware, painfully so, of all the mistakes that must not be repeated.

…Like the Professor was, after Hakuryo burned down to ashes.

Slowly raising back up, I finally can breathe in calmly again. The Gekishin remains in place, in its sorrowful prayer, the clawing towards the stars. A hand supports my head, another hoist my fingers upwards, stabilizes my posture.

"Are you truly in proper form to continue, young Yashiro?"

"…Yes."

"How odd, I'd thought you would not endure a vision of what lurks here. You are not forcing yourself, are you?" She asks, tapping my forearm as I take a few steps, wobbling as shocks run up my legs while they reboot.

"It would be a lie if I said no, but I'm tired of… watching, and nothing else."

I did nothing when the Professor needed help, I merely lived by my orders when her heart was in pain. Just being close is not enough, she needed support. Support I couldn't give her, that she instead finds in her coffee and medical supplements. I do not want to remain staring in the medbay, hoping for Takeru-san to wake up someday. I want to… help them, with my own hands, with whatever little I can do.

Knees shake, I rest my palms on them. It does nothing, both feet refuse to part ways with the soil. That coldness seeps down my back, the prickling, tearing shiver of cold scratches my skin, I hug, and squeeze, and constrict my arms, closer and closer, keeping the dampness at bay.

A soft caress, she pats my shoulder as I take in a sharp breath. My eyes find a nod, a small smile, a hand in the air, awaiting mine. With one last gulp, a long sigh, I take her hand and force the first step out, the stiffness out of me. And once more, we venture into the dark wilderness.

It takes my all to blind my nose to the thickening scents that linger in the foggy air, my tongue desiring to be swallowed whole. Skeletal structures visible through the wood, the mire. A dissonant orchestra of wildlife plays to the madness, entire entities vanishing like candles onto themselves behind the veil of shadow. Seas of worms spilling from cavities, like the soda I once put a mint candy in. More and more of those odd insectoid shapes, of greenery turning to true green in sickness, conquered by mucus and grime.

And within this cyclopean haunt, there is something that starts to linger in my eyes. All the unit patches that float in puddles, in the purplish gray mire. Folders with reports, faces imprinted on the bark. Trays of food, pieces of clothing, collars with tags cracked at the edge. Unable to truly zone everything out, flashes and figments end up reaching me. The face of the poor Instructor carved into the wood, before a cloud of insects splatters her head into fireworks. Two of his squadmates turning to charcoal under the acidic hold of the bog, another taking the shape of a normal pink flower that is then crushed by overgrown vines, swatted over and over again like that one time the Professor found a cockroach roaming in the office, until the remains resembled jelly more than a living being. And a lone, thistle beetle squashed by a lightning-shaped wooden spear, burning to the venoms of the bog.

It is all followed by the toxic scent, the cold sweat, that tight binding on my stomach, and brief yet terrorizing images of tragedy that flash in my eyes when my eyes or ears linger for too long.

Taking in a sharp breath, biting my lips as an image of Sumika-san frozen in a hospital bed with the company of a flat-line etches itself over my vision, my feet drag themselves to a halt as the walls of defense fail me on this occasion, the memory seeps into me.

Massaging my neck, taking one step at a time, I look up and find the mystery ESPer waiting. "Um… Are these all things Takeru-san has lived through?"

"Indeed," she whispers back, slicing vines and cobwebs that obstruct our way. As well as what grotesque shapes came alongside them. "Are you wishing to go back?"

"No, I… I have to bring him back. I'm just… curious, is all." About how is it that he can remain smiling, if such is the pressure on his shoulders. About why he never asked for my help, if he was hurting so much.

She shakes her head, a hand on her waist as she stares, lips cascading. "You do not need to feel obligated to-"

"I don't want to forget. I don't… want to lose him."

"Then, what spawns such a creak in your voice?" She inquires, taking a step closer.

"Well, for me… it's more scary, more horrifying to think of going back to my old life, alone in my office, than it is to face what other… dark memories might remain."

"…You seem to value him much," she comments, eyes remaining on me.

"He's my friend. I know Takeru-san would do the same for me."

"Right you are, young Yashiro," smiling for a moment, she then resumes her walk.

As do I, in silence for a moment as we cross uneven terrain. "Um… Miss, do you know Takeru-san?"

"If I didn't, I wouldn't be able to be this deep in his psyche. His mind would have pushed me out, rejected my presence."

"I suppose… But I don't think Takeru-san knows any other ESPers, and he wasn't being observed as far as I recall." The Professor wouldn't have hid something of the sort to me, and I'd have felt it on my scans too.

"He probably did not know I was observing, truth be told."

"…So you were stalking him."

Her steps halt, eyes squinting. "Quite rude, aren't we."

"Then, why do you want to wake him up?" She closes her eyes, once more giving me the silent treatment. "Miss, could you at least tell me your name?"

"…It is unimportant, and we have more pressing matters," she again strides forward, causing waves in the puddles of mire.

"So you will help me bring Takeru-san back to reality, Unimportant-san?"

She twitches, a single cheek puffing as her lips seem to contort. "You suck."

"Can you answer that? You really will help me?"

"Sigh… I know I must be causing much curiosity, but you truly shouldn't concern yourself with me. If there are any questions that need answering, I shall acquiesce once we exit the Black Lilith," she states, nodding at me, and I return the gesture.

For another moment, we walk in silence, enduring the stench and coldness that upon us falls. Yet, as I look around, avoiding lingering on anything for too long a time, something catches my attention, something in a nearby tree that looks most odd.

"Um… Miss, you did say that everything that appears in this forest is something Takeru-san has lived through, correct?"

"Yes, what is the matter?"

"What is that supposed to be?" I point to a piece of metal with the shape of a hand, that was protruding from one of those people-shaped trees.

"…It, too, must remember him of something painful," she says, hastily looking away, resuming her ant march through the foliage.

"But Takeru-san doesn't seem to know what a cyborg is," besides the knowledge he has of the 00 Unit, "and I don't think he ever met one."

"Perhaps, perhaps not," she dismisses, not even turning back.

"Um, do you know if… it could be linked to… the Takeru-san that was a Royal Guard?"

She suddenly stops, I can hear her breathing in sharply. Wide eyes, almost crossed, lunge straight into my own. "Careful what you speak of in this place. If you summon any further dangers, I may not be able to come to your rescue, young Yashiro," she whispers, threatens, a spiked whip of absolute zero.

"Why? Do you know of-"

"This place hoists all that the soldier does not, or cannot, recall. Summoning it would be a folly on our part. Even mentioning it as you did could cause such hallucinations to inch closer to us."

"…This whole situation was caused by him remembering something about that, something that pained him greatly. Can't you at least tell me anything that might help him recover?"

Eyes squint, not in rage, as they lower, crash onto the dirt. Nibbling at her bottom lip, she shakes her head. "It is not something I should interfere in."

"Then, why are you helping me find Takeru-san?"

"I'm merely…" she crosses her arms, before sighing, short yet heavy, "striking a balance, and repaying a favor. Nothing else. Let me remind you, if we are harmed within this specific place, parts of his darkest memories might etch themselves onto our psyches. And… loath I am to admit that I'm not strong enough to withstand a direct confrontation with Shirogane-san's lowest moments." Sighing heavily, her shoulders sag. She then turns around, advancing while dragging her feet.

Why won't she tell me? She has to know something, and being an ESPer there's no possible way in which she's ignorant to the situation at hand. It is true I am not certain of her intentions, yet I do not feel malice from her being. Her aura might be locked for some reason yet her gestures do not come with falsehood.

Following after, the silent walking leaves me to my devices, which soon spin their gears and overflow my ears from inside. It at least grants me a distraction from the distorted forest, allowing me to walk on automatic. The woman seems rather distressed, however. Ever since we passed a small white hat with cat ears and twin-tails that ended on cat paws, she has been taking glances all around us, almost frantically. Trying to resume any thread of conversation proves futile, so my steps dwindle as I try and regain my breath, unable to match her phalanx march. Lost in thought, my eyes wander about through the horrid visage, almost blurring everything.

…Only to find a silhouette a few odd meters behind our position, in the middle of the trees. Someone was huddled amidst the greenery, unmoving. Upon closer inspection, sharpening my sight as the mist refuses to clear, and moving some vines away-

"…Takeru-san? Ah, Takeru-san!" I finally found you!

"Huh? Hey, wait!" She calls out, but I do not heed nor hear what follows.

Almost tripping, my hands find a root to propel me forward. It grows harder to approach him, the foliage acting as barbed wires impeding my steps, the smallest blade of grass now sharp enough to leave markings on my legs. The figure grows firm, defined, allowing me to recognize the messy hair, the chestnut color. So I rush, hop, and blitz through all what lays in between us, almost running out of breath.

Only to start to decelerate, more and more until I stop cold in my tracks.

The uniform… is different, it's not the white one from the old school, not a BDU nor the fatigues, it is also not the formal dress. The patch, the unit patch on his shoulder… isn't… from the UN…

A purplish pink tint to the skin, sunken at places. Claw marks and tears tarnish the full-black suit, near the draconian design of the patch, almost up to his shoulders. Dark red, coagulated blood shields the wounds, pointlessly. A broken rapier lies nearby, filthy up to the hilt. Surrounding him, feathers form a carpet, a halo on the ground. Bones drained and dried, crushed as if stomped, some with sharp cuts which are unnatural, tainted by the same filthy stains with which the rapier is wholly covered.

The gale courses through us, my feet feel freezing, ice starting to ingrain itself to my sole more and more as some intelligible mumbling whispers out of his lips. And again, it rings in my ears.

The flat-line I heard by the statue.

A rumble in the ground, a shiver down my spine. Two eyes, large eyes locked on me in the distance, a howl that catapults everything in its path into the skies before it begins its assault. The spiral staircase of a maw open fully, the fox is charging at me while tumbling trees and what else is in the way, blind to the destruction it unleashes so long as it reaches its prey.

"Hey!" The woman screams, reaching out to me from higher terrain. "Take my hand!"

"B-But Takeru-san-"

"Don't! That's just a specter of this forest, he's not who you seek!"

"H-However-"

I cower on the ground as a tree in its entirety falls almost by my side. The glimmer of the claws, of the fangs is now visible, clearly and defined like an equation's true and only result. And as cold and uncaring as those numbers are those eyes, those eyes from which drips venom, slime, and blind bloody murder.

Hitting the mud, I reach up to the hand the woman's offering me. But my feet slip, my remaining shoe overflowed by mud, the sole feeling completely covered by it too. So my back meets the sticky wetness as I hear her yell, another of those small explosions followed by a shriek.

"Stand up! Please, hurry!" Almost falling down herself, hanging on with her legs coiled upon a branch, both hands seek at least my fingertips.

A howl, wood that is preyed upon, a storm at ground level.

The pressure of the heat surrounds my nape, clasping a lock on my neck, claiming it preemptively.

Fingertips slip, barely meet as I raise, extended and seek her hand. And again I fall to the mud, her features pale further.

Ears ring, a blitzing mass of fur and bone zooms towards me, allowing me to see the true end of its throat.

"Stop…"

Dampness hits my face. The purplish pink of the skin begins to turn red, dripping down, dripping down, reddening the rest of the arm. The cackle of constricting chains, the grief of a saw grinding itself against a wall. A single hand, holding back the monstrosity. A back filled with wounds once more standing before me, barely covered by the tattered dark uniform.

Knees quivering, starting to buckle, the hand which grips and seals the maw convulses. "You've had enough… You have enough now, right?" The other hand slowly, hesitantly, raises towards the beast. Barely placing his palm on it, skin on skin, the slow rubs seem to unnerve, to anger the monster further as it tries to pull back but finds its efforts futile.

"Hey, Yashiro!" The woman's shout snaps me out of the daze, she was still desperately choking the air, trying to reach down. "Give me your hand, before they move!"

"But… But Takeru-san is-"

"That's not Shirogane-san! We have to leave, quickly!"

Creaking, a low grunt in paint. Fingers that disappear into the jaw, liquid that pours from it. Monochrome eyes that flicker and swirl, claws which aim to tower over Takeru-san, the maw trying to open again. And yet, he doesn't move. A small scarecrow under a storm, the tiny wires of straw tense and stretched, limbs about to forever bend. And yet, despite the required grip in seal, the voice remains soft, low.

"Night by night, a life by knife. Always on edge, with it on your throat, as you devote your all to breaking your chains. But you're not…" The beast swipes at him, the claws finding his body, growing intimate with the scalp and skin. "But you're not being chased anymore. You don't need to keep this up."

The shoulder bends, the red spreads. Knees break away, pinned down easily without mercy. A hollow howling, the staircase of a jaw opens again.

"S-Stop!" The beast halts its moves, those eyes again focusing on myself.

"What are you doing?! Hurry up, give me your hand," she pleads, I can hear the wood nearby creaking.

Yet, taking in a sharp breath, I hold the gaze, the cold gaze that… in a way does resemble hers, when her mind grows resolute to the extreme. "P-Professor, this isn't how you truly are! You're not some mindless, murderous beast, you're our hope. You're Takeru-san's biggest ally. Why are you harming him?"

A smile, the gesture resembles. Shifting its posture, ignoring what was below, now the maw aims at me once again. Completely deaf to my words, blind to my intentions, there is only aggression. Cold, ruthless aggression to anything that gets in its way. Is this… how you see her, then? The part you hate the most, the one that caused the accident with the poor Instructor you showed us? B-But she should still be-

"Stop." Both hands push forward, blackening fingers struggling against the pressure. It again turns into a small show of force, that small lock somehow keeping the monstrosity in check despite its attempts to further fall into murder.

Something hits the back of my head, a small twig. Looking up, a paling and wide eyed complexion meets me, a hand reaching out.

"Snap out of it!" She screams again. "We need to leave, now!"

"But… But if his memories are hurt… Takeru-san doesn't deserve this!"

"This isn't him! It's just a reflection of a past self!"

"Even so… We can still bring him with us, instead of abandoning him!" He tried to protect me. And even now, he's doing what he can despite the injuries. Turning to face the attacker, sending dirt into the eyes of the fox and causing it to flinch, I rush to his side, extending a hand. "Takeru-san, let's run!"

"Stop! Don't look into his eyes!" She screams again, hoarse, louder.

And I cannot understand why she warns me of that. The eyes I see are sunken as well, with larger, darker eyebags branded in blue. Skin flashing red, motes littering and breaking the strong tint. His hands, dry yet warm, are hard to move.

And again, the pressure of the heat, the small growl, the towering shadow. A small explosion, the woman sent one of those small bombs at the fox as she slides down the mire. In a quick hop, she comes to me, grabs my wrists and pulls.

"We're leaving, now!"

"W-Wait, Takeru-san is-"

"We don't have time, we need to get out of here!"

"But is he going to be fine? That monster is going to-"

"I told you, I cannot shield us both from the darkest memories. We can only try and-"

The wail of leaves, branches, and insects. A tree that crumbles in front of us, over it the figure of the beast. Spreading its odd, metal wings up, howling in pride.

"Tch… If only you had listened…"

"Don't you dare…"

I look back, Takeru-san wobbles to his feet. Slowly walking towards us, or the fox perhaps, his gaze remains locked on the ground. A growl in answer, a claw stomping the fallen bark. Tension in the hold on my wrists, shadows coming to her face.

"…Did you look into his eyes?" She whispers, subtly shaking.

"Um, I shouldn't have?"

A rumbling answers me, lifting my feet off the soil, sinking my face to the muck.

Smoke and fire, black fire surges forth from the blackening wounds, fueled by them. The same specter of blaze now stands on front of the beast. Spinning in the air, kicking its jaw shut. Landing in the same violence as his TSFs tend to, an arc of fire contests the slamming claw that seeks to enlarge already gaping wounds.

"I told you to stop!"

A hand raises and punches, and beats, and slams, and knocks itself over and over again onto the maw, not stopping at all. Instead it grows in strength with every swing, the colossal beast collapses to the ground, staggering. Yet, the hound refuses to remain still, winds spread a cutting gale about, blasting away upwards, diving towards us once more.

As the blazes fall back upon the impact, as the heat forces my eyes shut, my wrist is pulled, my feet meeting the ground running.

"W-Wait, that's Takeru-san! He took that form when-"

"I'm telling you that is not Shirogane-san!" She scolds, limping on a leg as she endures, as she forces herself to run. "We need to get out of here now before it's too late!"

"But he's shielding us!"

"Exactly!"

"…What? Why would-"

Another quake, fiercer, causing branches to break. A howl compulses the atrocities, all of the grotesque inhabitants of this accursed bog start running, rushing, falling, folding onto themselves, into a stampede that aims for our silhouettes. Another hollow howl, the shredding gale giving chase.

"If you won't listen…"

Thunder echoes above, rain begins to fall. The pull spurs me to run, and as I look back I spot the flicker of the fire beyond the treetops. Starting to grow, and grow, and grow until it fully eclipses the moon.

"Hurry up, we're going to end up swallowed by their fight!" She shouts, gritting her teeth as we have to jump and sidestep as vines and roots whip and slash at us.

"But what's going on here?! He's still trying to protect us!"

"Just keep running! I can't shield you or me this Shirogane-san!"

Is she more afraid of him than the fox? Even as all of the corruption is intent on slowing us down, as we stumble and lose speed, she remains looking up at the ball of fire. Even when the heat of the breath, the rumbling of the howl pierces our shadows.

"It's still beating, it ain't too late…" A broken voice whispers, causing all warmth to vanish from the hand of the woman, the pull and running growing afterwards.

Pushing on against the stream of never-ending monsters, the orb of dark fire descends in an arc, missing us by a hair, as if drawing a line between our shadows and the chasers. Even as the fox aims at him from a blank point, he remains in sturdy in protection. As if the pain were gaining him further strength, as if his blood were the fuel of the fire.

For a moment my feet try and grind against the mud, against the rushing of the woman. Eyes remaining locked on his back as cyclopean swarms surround him, allowing the fox to glide to us unimpeded. The jaw opens, falling right straight towards us even as we run.

"I told you… to stop! She's still alive!"

Fire darts erupt, the treetops turn orange. Prey to it all, the foliage surrenders to the fire twister which grows and grows, a dark hole swallowing everything in its suffocating erasure.

And then, as if it were right besides me, it echoes again. The flat-line, extending, stretching, undisturbed, unchanging.

Blossoming fully, the petals reveal the core, the prominence of pure scorching.

Kind of like those pictures of boats with candles sailing that the Professor showed me once, kindling under the rain, within the haze of this forest.

It erases my shadow, the shadows around, ahead.

Cleansing the bog of all of its impurities, by force, by brutal force, as brutal as the inhabitants were. A counter in perfect reflection.

Only a shadow remains, witnessing it all from above. Illuminated by sparks and sprites, the fox glides over us.

A thunder echoes above, a thunder rumbles below. Another shadow dashes, swirls in my view, a blurry mass I cannot recognize. Both of our steps halt as the beast is sent on a collision course with the people-trees nearby, splintering them all, making them part and fall as if someone had forced a pathway to manifest through open seas.

Wiping the mud of my face, coughing and hacking, I try to look around through the fire, to find either the woman or Takeru-san. And it takes my breath away, what now looms over me.

Firm silver settles in my sight, small threads of it within the dark plating. Modest yet sharp claws, small spiky wings, a bit too sharp maybe. The slim yet compact form of the armor, the few spikes that surround shoulders and wrists, the glistening of the fire that still burns within it, billowing from the cracks. If not for those light brown eyes within the draconian features, for the scars, the dents and scratches that mire its back, I'd have no way of knowing the angular, weaponized, yet gallant-looking dark dragon in front of me could be Takeru-san.

It stands its ground even as the beast lunges for it, biting, thrashing against the plating. Instead of retaliating, however, the dragon merely sinks its claws onto it, aiming to immobilize the fox, surround it with its wings to prevent it from taking flight once again.

"Now's our chance!" She says, slowly pulling my hand, spurring me to my feet.

Yet, I cannot depart my sight from them as we escape. Even under constant aggression, under the incessant downpour, under the shrieks, the screeches, the clash of bone and metal, the dark steel remains stalwart. Almost as if it were a last rampart, never falling to true aggression, trying to simply cease the drillwind that bites into its frame.

The downpour grows harder, almost impeding our advance. The mire almost reaching my knees, contact with the bark, with the corroding environment is unavoidable, so all I can do is nibble at my lips and swallow down whatever brief flashes my mind is subjected to.

"Can you still go on?" She asks, barely audible through the rain, almost bending backwards as the stream pushes against us.

"Y-Yes… I can do it…"

"Do you think you can clear that hill quickly?" She aims at an elevation, where apparently the forest meets its end.

"I don't know…" It does look rather steep, I could slip and slide down on my face if I try and hurry.

"Then, make a choice. We hurry before either the fox breaks free of the dark armed dragon's hold or we drown, or I return you to the waking world," she says, looking completely frozen as a thunder illuminates her features.

"Drown? The rain isn't strong enough for us to drown, we can take some time to clear the rest of the forest. It's true that advancing against this current is really hard but we can-"

"No, we do not possess the luxury of time, now that the dragon has awakened. I… I don't know how much we have, but I need you to decide now."

"Why? You've been giving me cryptic warnings all the time, please explain me what's going on here. Why did Takeru-san turn into a dragon anyways?"

"Look, we truly do not have-" mouth gaping, her words halt all of a sudden. Eyes widening, petrified.

She looks to the east in said horror, her head falling back until it meets the skin. What meets my gaze as I follow hers is a colossal shadow towering over the very same storm that's raging as of now, piercing the clouds and thunders in its seemingly slow advance. I step back a few times, twisting my neck backwards while supporting myself against a tree, yet my eyes cannot see the end of it. It extends to the Heavens, perhaps further beyond. Falling back on my bottom, half sunk into the current of mire, I can only stare at the gigantic tidal wave that approaches, tall enough to make this large forest seem minuscule by comparison.

"What… W-What is that?!"

Her lips quiver as her hand allows me to stand again, to not slip into the small current twice. Gulping hard, running a hand over her face to try and clean it, through the space of her fingers those eyes, wavering and frozen, remain on that tsunami. "If the forest is the amalgamation of what traumas he can remember, this…" she bites her lips, eyelids falling down all of a sudden, "oceanic collapse that approaches are all the memories that are impossible for the soldier to recall as his current self. The mark of his greatest suffering, of a life he cannot integrate into himself, no matter what."

"The memories of a Takeru-san… that is different than Takeru-san?"

"Or at least, of a life that brings so much misery to him he cannot recall it without it breaking his will. So instead, he forces it all to remain locked away, fused into this filthy tsunami you see before you," she says, taking a few steps back, clawing at the bark to gain balance. "As I told you before, even I am powerless to resist the intensity of those memories. The emotions are too raw, too strong… or too hollow. Thus, we need to depart from this forest, now. I am certain I can clear the distance. What of you?"

Gulping, bending my neck to stare at the water wall that looms, at the small flicker of fire that still holds onto the violent grip that returns the embrace, I shiver and close my eyes. A thunder booms, trees fall and are carried away by the current. Eyes and hands sink into the grime, washed away. All the while, the shrieks of the fox sometimes overpower the rain, followed by the flicker of dark blaze and a low roar.

He shielded me from the fox, and he continues to do so now. Without even trying to harm the beast, merely attempting to stop its rampage. Why am I hesitating? Heaviness again swells in my stomach, on the sides, hurting. There is so much I cannot understand, so many cruel things that I've seen… And just looking at that mega tsunami is enough to spur the echoes I felt while in contact with the Takeru-san that turned to fire.

"If we make it past this forest, Takeru-san… the real one will be close by, right?" She nods, extending a hand, an inquiry. Tightly clasping my own around hers, I slowly start taking steps forward.

She smiles, placing one leg in front of the other, fighting the stream that pushes against us, the droplets that bombard our heads.

"…What's the point in moving on if there's nothing left for you?" A whisper hits my ears, a twig my leg, I stumble and mire almost overtakes my chin. "There's no joy in martyrdom…"

Bending my knees, gripping the hand which pulls me, I try and keep walking. Grinding, sliding both feet, something entangling or sinking into them.

"Where's the mercy in this bloodbath?!" A completely lost voice screams, accuses.

Flashes of burnt buildings, of people scattering like little ants in front of water through the streets. Of giblets and severed body parts scorched by artillery fire, a downpour of it coming from TSFs guarding a dock, a port.

Shifting shadows pounce upon us, end up in pieces that sink into the stream. A sway of the tail, the spiked drill on it, another roar in warning from the dragon, a fire blast that reduces all around us to ash.

Eyes lost in the sizzling shape of the pyre, in the fading dark of the fire… Pain, in my neck. Unbearably burning me first, freezing me firmly a second later. Followed by an impact in between my brows, sight shatters and it seems my skull will soon meet the same fate.

Water hits my chin, the grip on my hand fades, nothing meets my feet as they thrash, and the same for my fingertips as I reach out for who knows what while dragged down by the current.

Gunshots, the scent of gunpowder, broken buildings, hospitals. Hands reaching out in pleading, hands that melt, that sink, that burn, that crumble within the ensuing smoke.

Coughing only serves to fill my lips with more water, eyelids are growing heavy… it's all so cold…

…Huh? For some reason, the stream ceases on its intent to drown me. The liquid that in came now flows outward, throat feeling hoarse after so much coughing. Cold to the touch, sharp to the touch. Raising a hand to seek balance causes it to flinch away, a cut etched on my fingertip, a trail of red flowing downwards. Looking up, angular, metallic features gaze upon me.

Sitting on the palm of its claw, I meet the dragon's gaze, that light brown stare I've grown used to. Short of closing its grip, it remains still, towering over me, shielding my body from the relentless beating of the rain. Faintly warm to the touch, the sharp yet dented steel shines under the storm. A shriek echoes, the blurry shape of the fox diving from behind. Merely swiping its tail, Takeru-san sends the beast to collide into the trees, the stream, causing waves and waves to ripple outwards like a geyser.

"…Takeru-san?" A growl, those eyes again meet mine. "It's you, isn't it? Why… Why are taking this shape? What's going-"

Lowering its head, the dragon slowly opens its maw. Scythes for fangs, a forge lurking at the end of the throat, sparks and embers brimming, ready to pour forth. Closing my eyes, shielding myself with both hands, nothing happens. Blinking slowly, a soft caress begins to envelop, to surround, to embrace me. A soft and gradual sigh, a breath of kind heat covers me whole, drying me, restoring warmth to my body. And in the mist of that dark heatwave, of the lukewarm embrace…

…An old lab flashes in my mind.

Towering papers lurk barely out of sight, at the edge of vision. A gaze drags itself on the ground, miserable and hollow. Making herself smaller, both shoulders and lips, the Professor lies in my sight.

"…I'm telling you, there's no need for you to remain locked up in here, Sensei," Takeru-san asks, low, somber. She remains quiet, crossing her hands over her arms as if enduring the cold. "Are you hesitating because you're afraid of what could happen if you take the pass?"

Quivering, eyes close. Crushing both arms in the grip, a twisted smile raises along a broken whisper. "If I said yes, that it terrifies me to try and get out of this lab, to try and believe in what you propose… Would you laugh at me?"

A step forward, a tender yet tight hold. Lukewarm as the breath is over me, hands rustling over thin, dry strands of hair. Enduring the shaky hold over his shoulders, the quiver as if frozen that struggles against his embrace, the soft caress of warmth continues.

"…It's alright, Yuuko. You're not alone, because I am still here. Even if the whole world is against you… me and Kasumi are still here, and many others also are."

"It's too d-dangerous. Bringing discord to the chain of command… trying to regain my position would-"

"Then, do you believe Alt V to be the solution we should support?"

"If… it avoids any disturbances…"

"But that doesn't mean you have to give up, does it?" He asks, rubbing the back of her head. "You still can try to find another solution."

"Shirogane, it's already over…" she barely says, slumping into his hold. "I couldn't find the solution to-"

"To Alt IV. You can still look for another solution."

The recollection he showed the Professor, the final one of that day when we met for the first time plays out… yet diverges at a point before the end I remember.

"What if taking my side puts you in danger?" She asks, trying to regain her edge.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. No matter what may come at me, I'll show you… I'm enough to support you. Sure, I can't operate a PC like Kasumi, and I can't help in the calcs you make either. But I'll be enough from now on. Gimme some credit, I did manage to reach this far," he fakes a pout, lifting a smile into the utter lack of light of that gaze.

That then chokes his shoulders, hers shaking. "Are you certain of what you're saying? I've no allies left, I'm-"

"Hey, I'm still here, you know?"

"Be serious!" Soft, repeated strikes slam into his chest, cracks of distress flood her complexion. "Just what do you think you can even do to aid me? I'm… I have a duty to-"

Halting the spiel, bringing her to his chest with a tight embrace once again, he whispers. "You always took care of me, ever since I came to this world. Can you let me take care of you, just this once?"

"And what happens when you get hurt?" She whispers back, not fighting the hold this time.

"Heh, I rather try and roll for the twenty than to remain in fear of the one. And don't worry, I ain't gonna get myself in unnecessary trouble. But, if and when shit hits the fan… I'll despair after I'm dead, I won't let anything ruin my efforts. So, if there's any part of you that wants to fight back, know that I'm here, on your side."

"…Even if what I'd like to do were I to regain my freedom would pit us against quite a few dangerous people?"

"Yeah. I'm with you, until light's out. And this time, I'll truly will be enough for you. I know I'm… not who you rather have as an ally but… this is all I am, all I really want. Will you let me help you carry the burden for even just a little while, Yuuko?" He asks, fingertips tracing her arms, seeking her eyes. Meeting them head on, not wavering as her hand clasp onto his cheeks, as her sight scans him deeply.

Only for her to then start to giggle then laugh, leaning onto him, returning the embrace, the all-encompassing warmth.

A thunder echoes above, broken trees below into the stream, the storm returns me to the palm of the dragon. It gives out a small growl, lowering me into the water, close to the woman that hesitantly approaches us. Leaving the lukewarmness, looking up into the somber face of the dragon… I notice there is dampness lingering in its eyes, flowing down its chin. Tears, not droplets of rain.

Howling through the foliage, the fox blasts towards us once more. Again, countered by the dragon, both beasts grappling and contesting one another. Again, merely keeping it at bay, not using its fire or weaponized armor to hurt it.

"Are you alright?" The woman inquires pulling my arm.

"…Yes, I think. Let's… Let's go," I turn away, taking a step forward. Despite the incoming rain, the water up to my knees, the warmth does not dissipate. Even as we run away, as the echoes of Iceberg again reach my ears.

The woman stumbles, her wounded leg limping. Lending my shoulder in support, grabbing onto one another, we continue our march. Climbing, clawing at the soil, at the roots, at those stars that lay in the distance, at the rocket that departs, an end to the foliage comes into view as I push my upper body over the edge of the small elevation. A hand reaches down to aid me, and for a moment I look back.

At the mass of fire that is still burning, at the guardian of our shadows. At the pit in my stomach, the gagging that follows. Choking, a noose binding itself to my neck, my feet jumping down on their own accord, is what this feeling resembles. A complete compression of both hearts and lungs, a searing, piercing into them as well.

Someone that's still alive… That's what he screamed before turning into that dragon. Despite the blazing eyes, he isn't maiming the fox. Even as I catch my breath, run a hand over my legs to gauge any injuries, their struggle seems to not be close to ending any time soon even as they're already half-sunken onto the flood.

…A Takeru-san I know nothing about, wounds that remain open to this very moment.

"Are we safe now that we exited the forest?" I ask, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Eh? Ah, yes… We should seek higher ground quickly, before the tsunami hits. There should be no further dangers in the way, however" she reassures, looking at her leg, the small cut now visible as the rain clears our shapes of the sludge and grime. I nod back as she looks up and, after one final gaze towards the dragon, I follow after her steps.

Again climbing through elevations of the wasteland, pushing against the impact of the droplets, the stampede of the wind, the warning of the storm. All that I saw before, the small hands, the distorted shapes, the buildings, the rusted TSFs, all is drained and carried away by the stream. It leaves the wasteland void of anything and everything, and as we walk onward those remnants pass us by, fading into the dark and filthy current.

Reaching a cliff, supporting each other to traverse the narrow path to the top, I throw myself to the ground once we do, gasping as the rain falls and falls on me. Looking towards the forest with one cheek sinking onto the mud, a lightning vortex roars in the sky. Unable to stand, crawling to the edge, thunderbolts continue to raid the forest, a twister seeming to spawn on it. The tide regresses inward, the colossal tsunami looming closer and closer, a liquid sky falling upon the ground, Poseidon's revenge in all its glory.

The impact shakes the entire cliff we're on, waves crash against the elevation despite the distance, hitting my face as well. The woman stumbles backwards, also falling on her bottom, and we both can only stare into the stagnant and filthy stream, into the cyclone of this oceanic collapse that swallows all the terrain I had traversed thus far.

The waves continue to thrash among themselves, into the cliff. The splash sticks to me like mucus, a slimy sensation on my fingers, as if I had jumped into the mire. It all swirls into a gigantic cyclone, even the stormclouds are sinking in a tornado, drained by the whirlwind in the sea. Descending, descending, all of it begins to disappear as if swallowed by an abyss. The rocking, swirling waves, the thunders, the giant waves that collapse upon one another. They all fold and fade, lower and lower.

Until they leave nothing behind, a gaping hole of nothingness where the terrain I have been walking on was before.

The woman wobbles as she stands, brushing her arms off remnants of filth, sighing and returning to a calm complexion. Taking out that white handkerchief she had been carrying, she wipes her face and hands, then offers one to me, helping me stand up, patting my shoulder before gently cleansing my face with that tattered and old-looking cloth.

"You're unhurt, correct?" She asks as she sways the cloth, before folding it and returning it to its prior resting place.

"Yes, thanks. Um, miss," looking up, gripping her hand, "are we safe now?"

She nods, slow yet firm. "I believe so, there should be nothing impeding us from reaching our objective now."

"And you… will truly let me wake Takeru-san?"

"I so said, young Yashiro," she sighs, pulling away, rummaging through her hair. "Whether he decides to wake is up to the soldier, however."

"Why do you refer to him like that?"

"…Is there something wrong with it? He is a soldier, after all."

"Well, yes, I suppose. Then, um," starting to walk, my eyes remain on hers, "can you tell me why the Professor took that horrible shape within that forest? She wasn't aggressive when we met the fox in the ruins."

"…That is something only the soldier himself knows," she says, sober, hands folding on her back.

"I see. You did seem to know what would happen, that Takeru-san would turn into a dragon," I say, staring.

She remains walking, saying nothing, eyes locked forward. A momentary gaze my way, she sighs as I do not stop looking her way. "Yes, I was aware of it. Little it matters now, does it?"

"…Miss, you won't tell me your name?"

"It is unimportant."

"Sigh… Then, why did the dragon refuse to attack the fox? Why did Takeru-san turn into that thing? And… about his uniform, and the wounds he had all over, why was-"

She stops walking, looking up. My gaze follows, finding the clouds clearing away. A skyline in perfect dark is revealed, no moonlight to disturb the twinkle of the stars, the expansive bridge of constellations that extends from horizon to horizon.

And as a single hand plays with a pigtail, she again sighs. "Even if some people are truly dear to one, the damage they inflicted upon one's mind is not easy to forgive, much less to forget. Despite what they once meant to you, it is an arduous effort to dissociate their current self with what once you held so dearly. To continue to treat them with the deference, the unwavering honesty, the lack of doubt they once deserved from you would be equal to cling after an afterimage, ignoring all the signs, all the thorns you swallow for them now."

"What? But… But I saw it! As the dragon held me, I saw how dearly he cherishes the Professor!" I stomp closer, coiling my hands.

She shakes her head, brushing her hair as the wind blows. "That is what once was. It's yesterday, not today."

"The Professor still thinks highly of Takeru-san. She wouldn't have grown as upset as she did otherwise."

"…Does that make up for the harm he has had to endure thus far, young Yashiro?"

"What? She hasn't- Takeru-san doesn't hate the Professor! Why do you assume that is the case?" Who are you even to make such a claim? You don't even know, you're not by their side everyday.

Sighing again, still playing with her hair, she looks down, at her hands, at her wounded leg, back into the void left by the oceanic collapse. Then back at me, her shoulders sagging, lips lowering. "Hatred and love are usually opposing sides of the same coin. If he didn't held the fox so dearly, he wouldn't allow it to reach so deeply into his mind, right into his weakest recess. Yet, the damage she has inflicted on him, the haunt of her words still echoes in him."

"But he… he doesn't think badly of her. I admit she might be, well, uh, ruthless at times, that she refuses to listen once her mind is made up, however all she does is with the greater good in mind." She even hesitated before asking me to perform a mind dive, she was… creaking, her aura was cracking as she hit the controls over and over, cursing everything as Takeru-san didn't wake up. "The Professor might be harsh and dry ice cold at times, that is true, however she is nothing like that savage and monstrous fox. Why would Takeru-san picture her in such a way?"

Staring into me, blinking, looking down, then up as she hugs her arms. "Did you hear what the specter said, before turning into that dark armed dragon?"

"Eh? Yes, I believe… he was asking the Professor to stop. Because someone was still alive."

"…Tell me then, young Yashiro. Do you know why people raise their voices at each other?"

"Huh? Because they hate each other, because they hold violent feelings towards one another. That's why I don't understand, this doesn't align with any memories of him I know of. This must be one memory of that awful and aggressive Royal Guard that fell into hatred, despising the Professor in his ignorance of the bigger picture, due to the cruelty he saw from the ground of the chain of command."

"Sigh… So much presumption, so little desire to understand."

Frowning a bit, I take a step closer. "What are you trying to say?"

"If all you want to hear are answers which align with your beliefs, then there is little point in continuing this conversation," she dismisses me, casting a narrow glance my way before she resumes walking.

Hurrying after her, I cannot match her stride. "Then please be clear. I do not understand… I can't understand what all I saw means. He being pained at what transpired during his prior experiences is one thing, but why hoist such animosity towards the Professor?"

Without stopping, she looks back at me, calm and frozen once more. "You should look deeper into people's feelings, the hints that float in the surface. Furthermore, you should already possess the answer to that query."

"I don't. I truly don't. Please, tell me. Why did he raise his voice, sound so angry back then?" And why did the dragon not attack the fox?

"Sigh… While I can see why you'd assume hatred is what fuels one's screams, there is another reason why people raise their voices at one another." She then looks back, into my stare, then slows down her steps, allowing me to walk by her side. Gazing at the stars above, she again plays with her hair. "Because they want to be understood."

"…I don't get it. Yelling is not productive to express one's ideas."

"Yes, that is true to an extent. However, those who are close to one another can sometimes understand what the other is thinking and feeling at a mere glance. That connection… is something truly dear, very important between peers, comrades, or lovers." She sighs, the wind blows, her steps wane. And again, her eyes lose themselves on the blanket of stars. "But when one desires to be heard yet does not find the understanding one wishes, the vocabulary turns faster, louder. They see the other as being away, growing distant, so they raise their voices in hopes of closing the gap. Of course, sometimes there are ill emotions fueling a rising voice, but sometimes all one desires is for the other to see what you see, before you're so far apart from one another that no words can properly convey your feelings to that someone. Pain more than anger, is what usually fuels a rising voice."

"But… But… But the Professor isn't dismissive at all. She always listen to-"

"Does she truly hear what you or the soldier have to say? Isn't she the type to zone out anything that might impair her devised plans?" She inquires, turning around, towering over me, into me.

"T-That's… However, it's all for the sake of-"

"Hasn't she acted only on her own interests, disregarding collateral damage and any effect her actions might have on anyone else's life?"

"But she… she does what she has to because Alt IV must be successful or-"

"It's easy, isn't it? To justify yourself with a large, honorable cause. Who could argue against the 'safety and wellbeing of mankind as a whole'?" She shrugs, nibbling at her bottom lip for a second. Folding her arms, once more she plays with her hair as she stargazes. "Yet, try and understand how the soldier sees these actions, these justifications, the dismissal, and what comes along with the landscape the fox has painted, in your world and within his mind."

Lips shake as do my hands. Taking in a sharp breath, I swallow and dry my mouth, taking a step forward. "Are you… Are you saying the Professor is wrong?"

Meeting my gaze for a moment, holding it for another, once more she seeks the stars. "…One has to wonder, until when do those justifications hold real weight and when do they become mere wordplay born out of selfishness and arrogance."

"The Professor isn't mistaken. Her plans are the only hope left for-"

"Even if she holds quite the intellect, she is still fallible like every one of us," she counters, glaring in absolute zero, her already monotonous tone lowering further. "Despite gaining access to causality's flow, the actions she takes are only following the future she desires to bring about, and there is no telling if her ideal desire is truly what's best. To elevate her to a state of unchallenged authority, of permanent righteousness would be the same as," she frowns, clicking her lips, turning away, "enshrining her as a God. And for as much honest care for the planet that fuels her actions, for as much as she might desire to become one, the scientist will never be the Holy Mother."

"Why… Why are you so harsh towards her? You don't know anything… of all she has to do, how she feels, how-"

A small pat on my head, slow and constant. Her eyes lose all edge when I look up, she remains rubbing my head. "She is a mere mortal like everyone else, young Yashiro. Failing to account for collateral damage, disregarding it by claiming a higher cause and that her methods could in no way be mistaken, is precisely what could spur a reaction such as the one you've witnessed in the Black Lilith," she says, before starting to walk again.

"But Takeru-san… he doesn't hate-"

"I am certain you've felt it, the wrath of that dark armed dragon. The soldier does hold the fox quite dearly, and yet… there is a side of herself that he loathes like nothing else. And you should already know why that is."

"What… I don't understand. He knows the Professor's project is our only hope, you're not making any-"

Looking back, saying nothing, frowning faintly as the wind howls and her pigtails flutter. "You have managed to walk past the forest, you've felt most of his repressed trauma, and have retained full consciousness until now. Then answer me, young Yashiro. Do you believe the results to be worth the sacrifices?"

She stops and holds my gaze, arms folding as she awaits my answer.

Under the fully clear skyline, as shooting stars begin to paint thin strokes amidst the dark.

As the wind howls and tickles my nape, those eyes do not leave mine.

Yet, I look down. Recalling all the pain, all the moments of horror I've endured since I entered his mind.

The little child in the house, the ravine with the corpses of his comrades, the wails by the statue as the wolves surrounded us, all that transpired in the forest, the screams of that specter in a dark blaze.

"W-We are still alive. I know he- The project will lead us to-"

"Alt IV might see fruition, only due to an oversight, an unexpected result outside of the her control," she says, shaking her head, looking up as her hair sways in the air. "By the scientist's own efforts, only by the results of her plans and actions, Alt IV would have failed as a few memories of the soldier indicate."

"But… But he said that in his prior experience Alt IV did manage to strike down the Kashgar Hive! The Professor's project can save-"

"Due to her own laid out plans or thanks to the wildcard she was unexpectedly bestowed with?" She inquires, narrowing her eyes. As I say nothing, she shakes her head, takes out that white and tattered handkerchief to wipe her face. "And even beyond that, his most recent experiences in the wakeful world indicate that, indeed, the fox doesn't seem particularly keen in heeding his warnings."

"Wh- The Professor does care. D-Don't say bad things about her!"

"If she truly cared, truly, we wouldn't be having this conversation. Nor would the dragon remain so angered. It is, after all, the rawest representation of his natural coping mechanism."

"Huh? What do you-"

She sighs, raising a finger, "Unable to fully drown within the grind, the soldier punishes himself for all that has transpired, all you've seen in the wasteland." Cracks in her eyes, that then collapse to the ground. "Because if it was something he is responsible for, it means he had some agency in the chain of events and can then strive to mend what has gone wrong in other experiences. Even if he accepts that he has to surrender to the fox's whims when it comes to the big picture, to see there is nothing he can do to protect his beloved ones is too much to bear, regardless of whether his self-blaming tendencies are justified or not. So, he shoulders it all on his own, in silence, until he cannot go on… or someone he cherishes is hurt due to his inaction, thus unleashing that bursting draconian wrath you saw in the Black Lilith."

A cold blanket falling upon my back, the darkening of his aura back at the base when he was pained, the contrast with the shine of when he told me of Galaxy Wars, it all sinks into place. It makes my knees quiver and waver, pressure at the pit of my neck. "But he- Takeru-san doesn't ever grow as angry as-"

"Because while he may lay low and take the blows, thinking he deserves the pain as punishment for his 'failures', nothing could anger him more than to see someone he likes be made to suffer unfairly," she whispers, sighing again.

"But… But Takeru-san does… I believe he does appreciate the Professor, he understands why she has to do all she does!"

"Precisely."

"E-Eh?"

Sighing again, hugging her arms, her gaze observes the pale, cracked wasteland. Her complexion sinking more and more as she does, taking out the white handkerchief to clean something in her eyes. "Precisely because he appreciates who the fox is, or rather was for him, is that he is so hurt by her refusal to listen. It is fitting, for one born under the two-faced star such as her, that he would favor one side of her personality and despise the opposite."

…Is she talking of how Takeru-san sometimes refers to her as 'Vice Commander' when upset? And what does two-faced star even means? "B-But still, to turn her into that monster… Why? The Professor always does what she does for the greater good, and even when she darkens her aura it hurts her much. And she does care about him. She was truly worried and angry when Takeru-san was about to vanish!" I hadn't seen her aura blazing crimson in a very, very long time, too.

"You should already have reached that answer, within the echoes of the forest," she says, brushing her pigtails, turning around and walking again.

"You're just being cryptic to avoid answering me…"

"As much as he might," she stops, words and steps, before she looks up to the starlight, "…love the scientist, hold her truly dearly within his heart, there is someone, someone far more dear than anyone else to the soldier, that was gravely hurt by her actions' ripples, her refusal to consider other outcomes." She says, somber, colder. Again, looking up to the stars as the last threads of shooting stars vanish from sight, I can only walk step by step closer, until I reach her side and see her softly squinted eyes as she gives out a tired, exhausted chuckle. "After all, it is ironic. She desired to achieve order, to gain the means to prevent ruin, yet failed to understand what laid in his heart. She had it in the palm of her hands, the unwavering devotion of his soul. And she threw it away, in her quest for… absolute allegiance to her devised ideal. Heartache, hatred, and hope. It is hauntingly amazing, beautiful perhaps, how such opposing emotions can be held in unison towards a single person," she says, admiring the strokes of the shooting stars, the minute flare in the sky as two comets collide.

"What are you even talking about? I don't- You're not making any sense. It's true that she didn't listen to his warning, about how he felt about the memory recovery, but in the end she grew truly-"

"And that refusal to listen caused the beasts you saw in the forest to be born within his deepest reaches. That dismissal, the deafness towards anything she might deem an inconvenience, a threat to her desired future, or a pointless concern. You already know Shirogane-san well enough, there are a few, only a tiny few things that can truly tip the scale of his heart towards open aggression. The echoes you've heard should be enough for you to piece this puzzle together, young Yashiro," she says, then starts walking again.

"Someone dear to him was hurt, and he can't forgive the Professor for that? So whenever she becomes fully cold and doesn't listen, it reminds him of that?"

"More or less. If you had an ill experience in a relationship, you'd certainly be more reticent to tolerate similar behaviors as the ones that ingrained suffering into your soul."

"Well, I suppose. Then, is that someone… who the white rabbit is meant to represent?"

"…Who knows?" she shrugs, slowly looking back at me in the same cold facade. "In any case, what we may think matters little. Only the soldier can decide how to handle his feelings, his guilt and frustration at the indifference of the silence."

"Um…" Unable to meet her gaze, I gulp in nothingness. "Is there anything I could do to help him? Do you know what could stop these nightmares he's having?"

"…Time. Give him time, and silence. Stand by him, and do not pressure him regardless of his choice. A cruel word from you, even if small from your point of view, could truly harm him much."

"Huh? Why would I ever say anything-"

"You could," she looks back, sighing. "Do not lose your temper, regardless of his choice. And if you value him, truly value him, then give him a shoulder to lean on. In the reality you face, few are the people that would allow him to show weakness. And I also doubt he'd be comfortable, allowing himself to 'being weak'."

"…Just that? Is that all I can really do for him?" All I'm good for is just to stand on the sidelines? All he does for me, and I can't even-

Again, she pats my head. Smiling, she chuckles. "It is no small gesture. Does him being by you hold no meaning in your heart?"

"N-No! Takeru-san is my friend! I… I…"

"Then, you know how much it should mean, to have at least one person close by," she says, giving me one last rub on my hair before turning around.

"But is there nothing that can save him from those nightmares? If it hurts him much, then-"

"Salvation," she says, frowning, frosting, "is no longer available to him, for it would equal erasing who the soldier is, all that he has lived through. If amnesia and blissful ignorance equals salvation, then Heaven is no different than a comatose dream. You might as well say that he can only reach peace in the vastness of death."

"I never- I didn't mean to say that- Then, are you implying he's destined to just keep on suffering?"

"Learning to manage his emotions in front of the shadows he has lived through is a struggle he must endure. It would be easy if he could merely forget it all, yet life isn't as forgiving, is it?" Slowing down a bit, again she looks up, into the starry skyline. Compacting both shoulders, she then taps her lower lips. "Healing, on the other hand, perhaps is not yet beyond his possibilities."

"…Is that so?"

She nods, not turning around, continuing her advance as I follow after. As an elevation comes up, as we walk uphill and my steps wane, she remains looking back, ensuring I do not lose my way. The steepness of the terrain makes it hard to traverse it quickly, it feels as if this hill's inclination were rising and rising the more we walk. The cold wind only makes this harder, even if the illumination of the stars above guide us through the desolate wasteland.

"Um, miss?"

"Yes?"

"How do you, well, know of Takeru-san? You said you're an observer but-"

"Matters not, does it?"

"But how did you manage to dive into his mind?"

"…I merely observe, waiting."

"Waiting for what?"

"…I don't know, truly." Again, her steps wane to the point I can catch up. She remains watching the stars, whispering. "I simply wanted to return the favor, to honor a promise."

"A promise? Did you… knew the Takeru-san of this world?"

"In a way, you could say," she chuckles, again playing with her hair.

"Um… Is he truly as violent as everyone says he is?" I ask, almost stuttering, tongue pressed against the back of my teeth.

"You saw the dark armed dragon, that should be enough," she replies, immediately. "In any case, it seems we are here already."

"Here?"

Hurrying to clear the last part of the hill, a line of asphalt comes into view. The road near the base, the road towards the gate, the trees that stand on the side… except, the ground is missing. Instead of showing even terrain and the base at the distance, only the way up the hill remains intact. The rest has crumbled away, an abyss opening on it. However, there isn't darkness below. Stars and constellations, cyclones of the cosmos swirl both under the road and above in the skyline.

"What is this place? Where does this road go?"

"It is the deepest sanctum of his mind," she says, standing by me, pulling me away from the edge of the ground. "This road shall lead you to the core of the soldier's mind. There, you should be able to find him, his current self."

"I see… What should we do once we find him?"

"Merely limit yourself to simply talk with him, and he shall decide how to proceed."

"Wait, you are not accompanying me?"

She shakes her head, placing some of her hair behind an ear. "I already did what I came to. Guiding you to this place is all I should do."

"You… don't want to talk with Takeru-san?"

She closes her eyes, lips pressing onto each other. "I have already interfered enough. If he is to awaken, you should be the one who spurs such a decision."

"Is that so? Um, thank you, for guiding me here. I, well-"

"There is no need for thankfulness," she says, giving me a small nod. "Simply be careful of your words, and accept his choice regardless of your views on it. Well then," she turns around, giving me a glance, "I shall be taking my leave here."

"Um… Why do you not want to see him? I mean, you could come with and let me talk. If you truly-"

"Because I gave up," she says, spits out, as she fully turns around. "I did not believe, I simply chose to forget, to accept. Unlike the one who remained seeking, waiting for a shooting star, I have no right to see him now. Furthermore, I've lingered enough," she looks at me, giving me a smile. "Best of luck. Cherish these moments you now live, what little time you have left by his side, young Yashiro."

"…W-What? What is that supposed to mean?"

"Only what I said, and only that," she nods, still smiling as she turns around, pacing down the hill. "Look after Shirogane-san. He needs it, more than he thinks."

I try to follow after, a strong wind blows. An arm covers my sight, enduring the gale, yet when I lower it and open my eyes, I find no one around. Walking back to the edge of the hill, she is nowhere in sight.

"…What did she even mean? Sigh… Cryptic until the very end, how rude."

Still… To remain with him, isn't that what I always do? Or, perhaps, she meant more than physically? After all, despite being right besides him, I did not take notice of the hurting he was enduring. I did… not try and stop the Professor, offer another point of view, despite sensing the pain and conflict that within him swirled before our last recovery session.

And… to cherish the time left. Was that a warning? Why would it be one? Who was she even?

"Sigh… She didn't even give me her name. All she left me with are more questions… You suck, miss."

Turning around, taking a deep breath in, I walk up into the road available. Raising to meet the stars, the street goes in a direct line unlike the one in the base. The sakura trees by the side have an iron beam dug into the ground right besides them, for some reason. All of them have an item right in front of them by their roots. A small slice of cake, a spinning top, a shuriken, the small juice box that many pilots hate, a bottle of alcohol, a violin, a basketball-

Noise in my ears, pain below them. Figments flash through my sight, something red filling a control room, a talk with the Captain of the Valkyries, one of the younger ones using her seniority to order Takeru-san to leave somewhere, the aggressive one asking him to tell the rest how 'cool' she was until the end. Something swirls in my stomach, holding it I cough a bit, hurrying past them.

Another tree to my left, a bowl with an unnecessarily large portion of rice. A flash of Kyouzuka-san handing him the extra large serving, along a strong pat on his back. Followed by a hand stretching itself out, missing Kyozuka-san's for a hair. Rain hits his face like a machinegun as he watches the tempest of the ocean swallow her in a second, the raging fury of that oceanic collapse. The scream that follows is enough to fully eclipse Poseidon's rage, enough to shred his throat apart.

By the next iron beam to my right, a small envelope, a letter. Words of encouragement, coming from the Instructor. On a rooftop, in the hallways, a soft and repeated pat as he cries onto her thighs, further warmth comes from that voice as his sight remains locked on the ground by the broken TSF. I try and hurry past it, yet that gruesome end still reaches me. Followed by a harsh, dead-serious expression as she aims a gun at him, someone saying it's okay for him to die if she is restrained.

Almost tripping with a hole in the ground, barely balancing myself on a single leg, my hands meet the rusted iron that rests besides the next tree. The plush toy with large eyebrows lays its back onto the bark. The gurgling goo comes back, a blackened figure being taken away in a gurney, lips pursed along a flushed face as he taps her eyebrows as they lay side by side under the sheets. And the echo, the shaking of an explosion within a hive's corridor.

Recoiling away as if touching an oven, I stumble back. Hitting another tree, stepping onto a yakisoba sandwich. Another explosion, another gurney, his hearing ringing, and the pressure of a hug as both rest on the tree by the hill, feeding each other one of those sandwiches as snow gently falls down.

Hurrying away, gasping, I rush through the trees. The one with a pair of boots, the one with a pot of flowers, the sounds of electric shocks, the crushed and tainted strands of hair, the crying shape as they wave goodbye to a small kitty, the giggle as she falls on top of him from a tree's branch.

However, my escaping rush gradually comes to a full stop as I see a small rabbit. A rabbit in a Santa Claus costume that hangs from the iron beam, like the one Takeru-san brought from his world, that's hanging near the cylinder. Slowly, hesitantly, I drag myself past it. Closing my eyes and pressing both hands on my ears does nothing, the falling basketball ring still comes into sight, the still figure in a pod and a hospital bed flash through. As does a moment of complaining from Sumika-san about sauce, before both simply eat together, alternating the add-on of choice.

Hugging my shoulders and taking deep breaths, what's ahead is that sword he had on him resting by the tree. Walking besides this tree causes my neck to hurt, to burn. A face drenched in red, a pleading voice. A rumbling that follows, a light that blinds. A figure clad in a white dress that wishes to cry as he shouts at it that he is here for her, a smile that embraces him as both roll in the snow. And a distorted stare, clad in strong purple, that oozes violence as it towers over him, aiming… that same sword to his neck.

My knees meet the asphalt, skin turning pink, small stains left below. Taking repeated short breaths, rubbing my neck from the collar bone to my chin does little to calm down the spike that drills my lungs. Crawling, I try and get away from that tree.

Only to shiver, seeing the collapsed woman in the kitchen again, the letter of death resonating in my ears. A tree with picture books and what I assume are game consoles lays nearby, flashes of small arguments and games flash through my eyes. Ending on a discussion in the living room, him punching his father into a wall. And a prayer, a prayer that echoes as I stand up. A whimpering voice that looks back at his house, wishing for them to remain safe and sound, hoping to one day return.

Sighing, wiping the dampness in my eyes, the blurriness does not release my sight. I turn around and wipe my forehead, slow steps forward. Only to twitch and stop again. Because Mister Bun lays resting on the next tree, its eyes looking back at me, a white cloth tied on its arm for some reason.

Gulping again on nothingness, I waddle and halt, I inch closer and stop. Taking in a sharp breath, I slap both of my cheeks and hit the ground, rushing forward.

The rocket, the moment by Sumika-san in the pod, an odd scene with stars hanging from the cylinder as he hands me a small box, me waking him up like always, the seashell he gifts me, a talk by the hill, a promise to one day take to see the ocean. And yet another memory, as he looks back…

His eyes discover frown, a side glance. A frosting, dry ice tone that follows.

"Coward."

"Cough!" Almost hitting both feet together, I hug my stomach, tight, tightly, tighter. "I… I didn't say that! I would never-"

"Coward."

"That's not me! I wouldn't be so cruel…"

Clamping my ears, I run and run. Images and sounds flash before me, the burning of Hakuryo, the damaged Kyoto, a quivering hand that takes on a purple tint handing him that large red scarf he had at one point, someone showing him a red car, a gaze of turquoise promising to teach him about swordplay.

Rushing through it all, gasping for air, I stop as I see one last tree before wilderness and grass claim the asphalt. A tree with a large stack of papers, a Santa hat, and some odd glasses nearby.

Resting my palm against the bark, the scent of alcohol surrounds me. Resisting the urge to cough, the sunken shape, the crushed gaze that meets his lips… is nothing like I know the Professor to be.

Until it changes, to the rooftop of the base. And while wearing a rather revealing set of clothes…

"How do you think Marimo felt as she was thrown headfirst into that meat grinder?!"

I… can't breathe. Lungs burn, his sight grows distorted. Lips hurt, much, very much.

"You're even worse than those BETA you spoke of. You could doom billions to their deaths."

"T-That's… The Professor wouldn't- She wouldn't-"

"Marimo died because of you!"

Running away, away from the echoes of the one dressed as I know, of the offering of a gun, of an acceptance over killing soldiers, of them being worthless. Chased by the voice that grows even more cold, I lose my balance, my face meets the grass. Hitting it as I raise, groaning as I wipe my tears, hiccuping for a moment as I rub my arms, something else enters my sight.

Below the twister and brushes of stars, there is a tree. A large tree, like the one on the hill near the base. Illuminated by the kaleidoscope of constellations, the peak of this place, the end of the road finally enters my sight. My feet tickled by the grass, slowly I approach the peak, the tree. And alongside the full extend of stars that fill my sight, a blue shirt rests against the bark. Long hair of light brown, and eyes that remain on the sky.

One step, perhaps two. The shape grows defined, clear.

Three steps, maybe five. The brown of his trousers, the slouched posture, the shape of his chin and arms all matches what I know.

Stopping a few feet away, seeing the white bunny resting atop his thighs, my lips part, close, twist and bend, press themselves together. A shiver on my arms, another step forward as both hands come together, fingers interlock.

"…T-Takeru-san?"

Slowly, gradually, belatedly, he turns his head towards me. A neutral expression, slack and tired expression, is in his face. He says nothing, simply staring at me. The bunny flaps its ears, looking my way then slumping back as Takeru-san continues to pet it.

And he simply looks at me. In silence, scanning me, watching.

"U-Um… You do recognize me, right Takeru-san?" My voice quivers as I take a step forward, as he remains silently staring. "Uh, um…"

"Are you alright?" He finally asks.

"Eh? Ah, yes, I'm unhurt. Um, you do know who I am, right?"

"Yeah, Dersh Bnnuy, the Mighty," he says, chuckling softly.

I don't know if I want to smile, laugh or chop his shoulder right now. Slowly getting closer, sitting by his side, welcoming the bunny as it demands head pats from me, I look and find him again staring at the shifting constellations in front, all around us. "Um, are you feeling well, Takeru-san?"

"Kind of," he merely whispers. "Uh, are you just a part of this dream or-"

"I'm the real Kasumi," I say, feeling my limiters flapping for a moment.

"For real? Since when can you psychodive into people's mind?" He asks, raising a brow.

"Huh? I… don't know. I can always scan people's thoughts but, well, this is the first time I could perform a proper mind dive. I cannot confirm whether this is normal or not," I say, resting on the tree, huddling closer.

"I see…" Grimacing, he again gazes at me silently. Before he reaches out and pats my head. "Sorry, you must have," looking down, biting his lips, "seen a lot of shit on the way here."

"Uh, well, yes… Takeru-san, what I saw, those memories, were they all real?"

A slow nod, as slow as his finger drop through my cheek to my chin, as his hand flops back to the grass. "Yes, I think. All you must have seen… No, all we both saw as we walked was real at one point for me."

"As we- Wait, you were the child and the guard?!"

"Yeah. I was adorable when I was little, right?" He chuckles, the rabbit rubbing itself against his chest, demanding further kindness. "But yeah, I kind of recall how we walked through my… memories. Sorry, you really should have left after… what you saw in my house."

"…D-Do you want me to leave?"

He pets my head, the bunny grumbles as it looks at me. "No, didn't mean it like that. You didn't need to put yourself at risk, seeing all the shit I've had to endure. You're really fine after all that?"

"Yes, somehow. Um… Were those memories what your nightmares are about?"

He sighs, retracting his hand, the bunny continues to angrily stare at me before it gives a munch to the air. "Sort of. All that remains when I wake up is a sketch, a paragraph, a piece of the whole along the cold hands that clasp onto my shoulders."

"I see. So then, um, we have to return to reality. The Professor is really worried about you slipping to another world."

"I see…"

"And I honestly don't know how much time has passed, so I think you should try to wake up, Takeru-san."

The bunny grumbles, thumping then letting out a pained growl. He pets the white fur, remaining silent as he steals gazes, then once more seeks the stars. "I see."

"Um… Don't you want to wake up?"

A moment passes, silence extends. Under the stars and the wind, he closes his eyes.

"It ain't like I don't know the risks. But I don't feel like just now."

"…Are you upset with the Professor?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, that lady said you could, well, hate her…"

"Wait, what lady?"

"You know, that lady in the office suit that helped me get through the forest."

"…Again, what lady?"

"Huh? You don't know? I mean, she had hair and eyes like mine, so she was an ESPer. Who was she, by the way?" I ask, staring, inching closer.

His eyes narrow as his lips barely open, the bunny groans a bit. "Kasumi, you're the only ESPer I ever met as far as I recall."

"Then, who was that lady?"

"I dunno. But no, I don't hate Yuuko. Why do you think that?" He asks, narrowing both brows.

"Well, in the forest…" I tell him of what happened there, his complexion darkens and tightens as I do. "So she said love and hate are sides of the same coin, and that you were hurt much by the Professor. I, well, heard her say some cruel things to you as I passed a tree with an iron beam on the way here… So, well-"

"I don't hate her, per se. It does…" his lips curl inwards, the fingers over the bunny sink into the fur, "unnerve me, how she acts when the Vice Commander takes over. I know she has to do what she has to for the project but, well, I know looking for other solutions ain't beyond her."

Gulping on nothingness again, I pull the edge of his shirt. "Do you believe her to be mistaken, then?"

"No one is right one hundred percent of the time, Kasumi."

"But the project… You know it can be successful if-"

"If everything goes perfectly and in our favor. And even then, that doesn't mean it's the best thing for the future." He sighs, grimacing, looking up, hugging the bunny. "What is of that world as of now? You should know as well as I do that the only thing preventing Yuuko's research to be militarized in a large scale is her guarding hold over it. Imagine what will be of the future when she's caged as she was in my first loops, when the military starts getting access to loads of G-Elements, new mass-produced versions of the XG line." Breathing in sharply, curling inwards, she subtly shakes. "Imagine what they'll do to research and manufacture new 00 Units."

"But… But the war… But she's-"

"You saw the wasteland, right? You heard… the echoes of Iceberg, right? Those are the results the pigs up above created back then, when they refused to veer away from their stupid plans despite Yuuko's warnings. Even as I supported her to try and wrestle some sense into the UN, nothing changed in the end. Sure, you can fix and mend some stuff at the lower level, but the big picture… was already set in stone." Sighing sharply, unable to lift a crumbling gaze he cannot repair, harvested by the Reaper. "Now imagine what would happen, what is happening over there in that world now. Would you leave your future to people who plot and devise 'accidents' for their own benefit, that shift common policies to make it seem they are the fruits of their accomplishments?" He punches the grass, the white bunny groans in agreement, nuzzling itself against his belly. "Even if, somehow, they avoid the fucking mess of Iceberg in that timeline… It's a matter of time before an idiot tries to start another war. All it takes is a terrorist getting inside an XG…" His eyes gaze at me, falling, falling and burning like a shooting star. "I assume you saw… the time when I had to shoot the particle cannon on Meiya, r-right?"

"…Yes. I do not think any less of you for anything I've seen, Takeru-san," I say, placing a hand on the back of his head, bringing him closer, resting my chin on his shoulder. "Do you think that world is in danger?"

"Either it is, or it will be. Sigh… Imagine Babylon but with XGs and particle cannons. All it takes is an idiot with too much power, a struggle in Europe over natural resources or the G-Elements of the recovered hives, or even here in Asia thanks to the march of a triumphant Empire and the issues that might cause for war to spark up. And… you saw what the UN did during the invasion, so I can't fully trust them either."

"…So you don't want to come back?"

"Sigh… I wanna think, Kasumi." He leans into me, the bunny sitting between us. "I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I gotta be part of the system if I wanna be heard, I get it, but no one will agree to not use Yuuko's research for military developments, and no way in hell we can stop production of war armaments with the G-Elements that will be recovered after we start Alt IV. Siiigh…"

"But, um, couldn't you… negotiate with the Shogun? I know the purple puppy ended up turning into a wolf but, surely she could still be an ally to you?"

"…I doubt it."

"Why? Because her posture on the war differs from yours? Or… because you don't want to… do the same as the Swordbreakers did?"

"This isn't only about the war anymore."

"Eh? Why?"

"You… saw it, didn't you? How my world was, how the wasteland was. You didn't notice any similarities?" He asks, hunching over.

"I don't understand. What are you worried about?"

"Well… To put it simply, the Yuuko from my world warned me about something when I was about to start the transfer. And the highway has remained open, it still is as we speak."

"What highway? You mean the conductor?"

"The ripples of it, to be exact," he sighs, playing with my hair, tone lowering. "At first I didn't think anything of it, I assumed things were just like that in this world. But the similarities are too strong, and on this trip down memory lane I only get more and more certain of it. That this world is, for some reason, being affected by the leaks."

Blinking as I gape, the puzzle shifts, the pieces scatter. "Wait a moment, the world?"

"Yeah. Everybody here is far more nationalistic then before. Like they were in the worlds where Alt IV failed and the US-Japan Security Treaty was reinstated, as it was… after the Babylon Disaster. Even my… situation as Yuuhi's stepbrother, as part of a special task force, and a member of the IRG. It is all an echo, a perfect mirror match to things that have happened before to me."

"But… But the past cannot be changed, and any divergence due to causality must be born from an intense desire in the first place. Wait, Takeru-san, you… were in the Royal Guard before?"

He shrugs, giving me that twisted gesture that does not resemble a smile. "It feels like, for some reason. There's…" he rubs his neck, the bunny tries to climb up his arm, falling due to the wound on its leg. He takes the loaf in an embrace, looking back to the sky, eyes dampening. "There's a memory where I see Meiya aiming a Minaru Kamui at my neck, another when I'm storming a Reactor alongside Shiranuis, Raptors, and Takemikazuchis. And then, the uniform that I see on my arms ain't from the UN." He sighs, rubbing his forehead, rubbing it slowly, hitting the bark with the back of his head. "And those memories feel like a living hell."

"And you're afraid those emotions could… leak into the people of our world?"

"If they haven't already. There are many differences the world you live in has to the one I was looping in. If, somehow, data from the unlimited amount of failed worlds was seeping through the highway for who knows how long, anyone with a strong enough desire might have triggered a leak. And that can continue to happen… with events that could very well screw us over, badly."

Leaves, dry leaves begin to flutter from the tree. Some in yellow, some in red, all swirling on the air, falling and falling.

"Um, so, you think the project is in danger?"

"No, not really. I doubt Yuuko could be stopped this late into the game. That," he sighs, patting the bunny that then grumbles, "is the main problem."

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"…What date was back in reality, Kasumi?"

"December 3rd, I believe."

"Well, let's just say there's an… incident coming up, an incident that…" he gulps, shivering as some leaves fall upon his head, "I don't know if I can prevent."

Rubbing his arm, feeling the coldness through the blue fabric, I grip and pull. "You're not alone, Takeru-san. The Professor will assuredly-"

"Yuuko ain't helping me this time."

"Huh?"

"I doubt she'd agree, all things considered. And even if she keeps her word, if she ends up helping me safeguard my world…" lost in the stars, showered by their light, small hints of fire seep through his eyes, "that won't erase the lingering echoes of those failed worlds that are already present in reality."

"Don't call them failures, Takeru-san," pulling at his arm, I pout into his eyes. The bunny thumps and groans in agreement, headbutting his hand. "You did manage to save your… beloved, right?"

"…Sigh. I guess." Not lifting his cheer, still hunched over and completely void, his aura remains neutral.

"And you're… not alone now. The Professor is your ally, I'm sure that if you explain this to her, she'll find a way to help you."

The rabbit again munches the air, sends me flinching away. He pets it, leaving his hand on the head, scratching the ears. "I don't think she will."

"Why?"

"…Because Yuuko only saw me as an ally after she lost everything. The Vice Commander never let me into her decisions, and truth be told, she might choose to leave the conductor open so that she can research it. It is, after all, her life's goal to understand causality."

"But you could, uh, talk with the Shogun to-"

"Kasumi," he says, colder, frowning, "you saw it. Yuuhi doesn't exist anymore."

Shivering, looking down, gripping my dress, not looking up even when he pets my head. "Why? Why are you being this negative?"

"It reminds me of," voice cracks, fades, folds, "those memories after Iceberg." Looking up, I find a single tear running down his cheek. "Meiya chose the Shogunate over me in that world. Instead of trusting and relying on me as she did back in my home world, she decided to serve the Shogunate. That's why, I think, I joined the IRG. To try and protect her, even if stuff went wrong between us." He sighs again, hugging the bunny that licks his chin. "And I ain't blaming her or anything, it's her life. But love is a two-player game, and devoting your whole life, placing your trust in someone that sees you… as nothing but a piece on a board…" shaking and quivering as if under snow, his skin is truly cold to the touch, dry even. It takes a moment for his breathing to stabilize, yet his eyes remain shut. "I made that same mistake in this world, again. Yuuhi was… all I had left, like in that world. But she didn't, she doesn't see me as anything but a pawn."

"Did you see memories of the Swordbreakers, then?"

Slowly nodding, features tighten. "Not just small flashes either. Their relation… was nothing but business. Even during a meeting with a guy I think I recognize while a storm was raging, all she was worried about was her standing and the alliance she had. Made me so mad I almost choked her then and there."

"Huh?! Y-You what? Why?"

"Sigh… You know, I think I knew I had gone through that shit at one point, subconsciously," he says, shrugging. "But even as I look after her, it feels so fake. All she wanted out of the oath was my services, and nothing else."

"But… But she argued with the Professor a lot! I do think she… might still want to see you."

"Yuuhi or Her Highness?"

"Huh? Aren't they the same person?" I ask, tilting my head.

He chuckles, ruffling my hair. "Not at all, little bun. It's kind of like with Yuuko and the Vice Commander, one might be cold but always has your back while the other won't hesitate to backstab you and throw you down a flight for her own gains."

"The Professor isn't- She isn't-"

"Kasumi," he holds my head, drawing circles on my scalp, "you and me both know Yuuko doesn't give a single shit about what stands in her way. Why would she or Her Highness take my side, hear me out even? When pitted against a high noble, an influential person that can be a tailwind for their dreams… It's obvious who will they choose. That's why… I don't think I have any allies back there."

"…You have me."

"Huh?"

I pull, and grip, and squeeze his arm, over and over. Unable to breath in, just holding his gaze, "You have me."

"Sigh…" Smiling, he pats my head. "You know I can't force you to go against Yuuko, Kasumi."

"But I'm your friend."

"Sumika needs you more than I do. Plus, I doubt there's anything we can do this late into the game."

"Please, tell me why you think that," still pulling at his arm, feeling a pit in my stomach start to grow. "What is this incident you speak of?"

"…Something rather convenient, similar yet different to an incident that happened in my first loops. At first, I thought it was something we could prevent, that we had to prevent… but Yuuko might disagree."

"Why?"

"For the sake of Alt IV, to bring stability and predictability to the Empire. That's why I wanna think, reflecting on everything I've gone through," he says, looking back into the swirling stars.

The cyclones reflect shards, images, as if the skyline were made out of glass that was breaking. Parts of the images I saw while traveling alongside his child self, the festivals, the games, the tender moments, the happiness he had along his squadmates, all of that shimmers within the constellations. That multicolored thread, the halo that upon us showers its shine, deeper within the luster of days past, bubbles and what off them is reflected.

"As I am now, I can't really change anything," he says, low, rubbing the bunny. "I don't think I can put my all behind Yuuko or Yuuhi. I don't wanna live a life in servitude if it's gonna end on that madness again. I… need to save someone, Kasumi. Prove to myself I can make a positive difference."

Slowly, he stands up. Walking up to the edge, extending a hand, grasping, clawing at what within the cosmos shines. Tightening his fist, the rabbit climbing onto his shoulder as I reach his side.

"It would be easy, to snap as I did when Marimo-chan died, as I did… after Shura's Dance. But really, there is no one to blame now. I do get it, they're safeguarding their own lives, betting on a guaranteed result."

"That's not true! Takeru-san, you're not some asset," again pulling his hand, I plead and grip.

He shakes his head. "If I have a bad return of investment, I'll be discarded, forgotten. Just as Meiya did in my other lives. Life goes on, with or without me."

"But if you remembered then, why do you refuse to come back? You could… well, parley with the Shogun, even if she doesn't agree with your feelings. You could warn the Professor of what you believe is happening due to the conductor. And of whatever this incident is, and to help Sumika-san… and even then, you're not merely a pawn."

Again, softly rubbing my hair, smiling, pulling me closer, his hand patting a shoulder as he hugs me with an arm. "Thanks. But Yuuhi has no reason to place her standing at risk over a peasant when a successful man with the approval of the people exists, as like Meiya did back then. Yuuko has no reason to keep compromising her project over a nobody that has next to nothing else to give her, compared to the support of the Empire and the IRG."

"Huh? You… You mean to say you wish to go against-"

"Kasumi, with how silly I am with names and songs, do you think I chose the name 'Swordbreakers' lightly when appointed as the Captain-in-Chief? You do remember the odd song we heard during a memory recovery, right?"

"Wait, so he liked to sing as you do?"

He chuckles, playing with my ear. "There's no 'him', Kasumi."

"So it was… you all along?"

"Always has been, looks like, feels like."

"But you're not as aggressive as him, or as that dark armed dragon," I say, wrapping a hand over him.

"What dragon?"

"Huh? Ah, well, while I was traversing a forest where… your darkest memories lie, I saw a Takeru-san in there, all wounded and hurt. But when the fox tried to harm me, he turned into a dark armed dragon and started to fight her off."

He raises a brow, then chuckles. "Heh, that sounds metal as fuck. So I'm a dragon, huh," he laughs quietly, the bunny groaning a bit. "That does sound better than a blossom, to be honest."

"Blossom?"

"Oh, someone once compared me to a flower," he scratches the back of his head, giving a small smile that could counter the brightness of the stars around us. "But, well, all I know to do is shut up and move on. Dull myself," he brings me closer, voice fading, "push onward and do whatever I can. I think… I was blind back then."

"Blind how? In anger?"

"No, not really. Working to protect her, the only person I thought I had left, doing what I could to support, complement her actions. But in the end," he sighs, heavy yet short, "it was all just part of a play in a chessboard. I don't…" voice quivers, his hand on me enforces its hold, his breathing growing erratic, "I don't want to live like that ever again. Left with no choice but to keep serving, eating out of the hand of those who left your comrades and beloved ones to die as pigs."

"But you're not alone," wrapping both hands around him, I return the intense hold. "Why do you think that?"

"Because the answer I came up with, the only answer I see for this jigsaw puzzle… takes me away from my peace," returning the hug, the white bunny groans in discontent, nuzzling itself against his face until he pets it. "I know it's the mature thing to do, to move on and act with the cards you're dealt… Sigh."

Slowly threading his hair in between my fingers, rubbing his head, I shake my own. "Takeru-san, please. We're still here, we're your allies. I know… the Professor can grow cold when it comes to her project… but she was really angry when you fell unconscious."

"Because she lost a valuable asset, nothing else."

"…Why? Why won't you believe in her?!"

"Because… the Yuuko that saw me as an ally was the one who lost everything, Kasumi. The one you know has no emotional connection to that world, to those feelings, has no reason to value me as that Yuuko did. She is more like the one I met last loop, it'd be wrong of me to expect her to have any patience towards a hesitant idiot," he says, shoulders sagging, bunny groaning.

"…Even then, you have me. And Sumika-san, too. Please, let's go back home…" holding his gaze, gripping him, his eyes scan me silently for a moment, then another.

"…By the by Kasumi, do you know who this white rabbit is?"

"Huh?" My eyes go to the little thing, that groans a bit. "No, I've no idea. You don't either?"

"Not really. But, for some reason, I like holding it close," he says, smiling while scratching the ears, the back of the bunny's head, who then rolls in his hold. "It kind of reminds me of when I was little, of why I am here. I wanna strike a balance, save my world and try to prevent more shit to happen in the world we're in now. Even if I haven't saved anyone thus far, even if my player two doesn't reach out, the least I can do is not fall back to living solely for another, placing all the responsibility on their shoulders. So for now, I wanna think some more."

"You… You won't come back?" He shakes his head. "But… But the Professor is… Your mind might-"

Placing a finger over my lips, he smiles. "I'm very slow, Kasumi. It takes me a lot to reach a decision, and I don't wanna rush this. So, the first step is to try and remember who this little bugger is," he say, giving pats to the rabbit.

"I… I can help you with that, I can bring the memory-"

"No, I have to do this on my own."

"W-Why? Do you not trust in me?"

"Sigh… Yuuko will demand to know what you scan, and I can't risk getting you against her. You've already seen too much, and frankly I think she might choose to pull the plug on me after you report what you've been through here."

"That's not- She wouldn't do that! The Professor was very- She's waiting for you to come back, please." Again, I pull his arm. Again, he shakes his head. "Why? Why, Takeru-san?"

"Because this, the chaos you saw, is my battlefield," he then looks up to the starry kaleidoscope, at the faint glimmers of happiness that shine through. Taking in a sharp breath, his features tighten, firm orange glows around him, along small traces of red. "And if I cannot choose how to live my life, then I'm as good as dead."

Fire surges forth from the brink, a tidal wave of dark blazes cover the skyline. The shapes of the forest, of the ruins, searing and screaming, faces folding, falling, fading upon one another. Merely standing in its presence is enough to have my eyes squint under the heat's impact.

"T-Takeru-san, please stop! You don't have to go through that again!"

"…I don't even remember that all that well, you know."

"Huh?"

He continues in a monotone, observing the waves as they keep rising and clashing against the edge. "Too many faces I seem to recognize, yet no name comes up. It happens in my dreams, seeing an old friend, unable to remember their name, or anything at all. Waking up while hugging the air, left with nothing but a sad gaze lingering in the back of my head."

"But that's in the past. You don't have to fall into that horrible abyss again," I try to reach out, end up recoiling at the heat that he somehow endures.

"It doesn't look horrible to me. Everyone says the abyss is evil or some shit… but all I see are hands seeking anyone, anyone to pull them up from the silence. And, how was that saying? The people that forget their history are doomed to repeat the same mistakes again and again?" He asks, tilting his head. "Well, I already fucked up my shot while I was in this world before, whatever the reason I was reset like in my world again. Because I couldn't remember, so I did it again," he laughs, running a hand into his hair, eyes closing as he takes in a sharp breath. "And I know what happens when I run away."

He takes a step forward, his figure growing blurry amidst the fire.

"So I'm gonna return the abyss' stare, and go down there to give it a hug, pat its back. After all, I've abandoned those memories because I couldn't deal with 'em. All those versions of me have left… is me."

Screaming, yelling, my voice doesn't seem to reach him. A spiral of fire surrounds him, he looks back with a smile.

"This is my war, against myself. I won't get another chance to face myself, to try and change the road causality wants to integrate into the world. Thanks for worrying Kasumi, but this dense idiot needs a bit more time. So for now…"

Standing up, trying to reach him, my hand meets the air. Takeru-san vanishes from my sight, the ground starts to get tilted. Losing my balance, I meet the grass but start to slip off it, falling. Clawing at the grass, nothing meets my feet as they extend and search for stable ground. Up above, the flickers of flame, the shifting cosmos remains. At the distance, a hand raises to wave at me… as the Gekishin did in that memory I saw.

"You've seen enough. This is my burden to bear, my own actions are what screwed up my future after all."

"That's not true! You're not guilty of anything, Takeru-san!"

"Thanks, for real. But Sumika and Yuuko need you more than I. So… don't lie to the Vice Commander once you wake up. With some luck, I'll follow right after you."

The ground shakes, stronger and stronger, violent and fierce. Flares of black, threads of stars swirl and rotate in my view. Free falling, surrounded by sparks and bubbles, the kaleidoscope, the silhouette of the tree grows distant. Typhoons of fire engulf it all, stars and meteors picked up by the current.

"See you later, Kasumi."

Explosions reverberate, the hill folds and fades like origami, like leaves dancing to the wind. It all grows small, sinking into a dark hole surrounded by a halo of meteors and cyclones of stars.

Descending and descending, I cannot fight the tide, the pull. Like a single droplet that falls of a leaf. Shining for a single moment, before it forever fades into the ground.

---

Around Three Years ago from the present time.

[Takeru]

---

Softness surrounds me, quietness.

Where am I?

I don't… feel anything. It's as if I were suspended in a void, neither cold nor warm. Where am I? I can barely feel my body, the pleasant cushy sensation under me. How weird… The alarm didn't wake me up, but I feel the sun's warmth on me. There are no windows in my bunk, so what gives?

Can't open my eyes. I… can somehow breathe? Or… Do I feel air coming into me? How strange. What was I doing before? When did I fall asleep? Yeah, I was… tending to the office, looking after the shelter… I already had left dinner ready, too. Hmm… Is it my day off duties today? If it isn't Raiho-san is gonna murder me for real today.

But no matter how much I try, my eyes give no fucks about it and remain closed, my arms refuse to budge. Am I so stressed I'm completely spent? I gotta get up, fast. If I'm late… More shouts, more screams. I'm already a burden, I gotta try harder… If I don't-

KNOCK! BANG!

KNOCK! BANG!

Wait… What's that sound? Someone is… pounding a door like a bull. What force, however, to make that echoing sound. Ugh… How rude can someone be, and that's coming from me.

"Wake uuup! Takeru-chan, wake up! And open this damn door!"

…Huh?

Sumi… ka?

Somehow, I felt a cold shiver on me. As if my heart had being struck by a dart. Only to then be followed by thousand more.

It's a lie. A joke. Sumika is… She didn't make it out of Hakuryo. Why am I… Mmgh! Why can't I open my eyes?! Suspended in a void, struggling to no avail, my body gives me the middle finger and remains slumped.

"Open this door and let me in right this instant! Waah… Why did you use the chain lock?! That's not fair…"

What is she complaining about? A chain lock? Is this… a dream? Where am I? Am I back home? If she's coming to wake me up… But, why would I put a chain lock? I… I wouldn't do that to her, she's a good friend.

And there she starts to pound the door again. I mean, Sumika is pretty strong, not gonna lie, but she's going to destroy the door at this rate. Dream or not, to be able to see her again… I should get up and go open the door before-

"Gah! Cut it out! You're so damn annoying!"

My eyes suddenly opened, and I heard my voice coming out of my mouth.

…But I didn't say anything. What… What is this? What's around me is like my room back home, but more… pristine? It's a bit more… how to say it… Well decorated? Brilliant, polished? Like, looks good. But it's made a mess. What the hell.

And yet… I can't move. What is this? I can somehow feel my body but… I-I can't move. What is going on here?! Why can't I-

"Indeed… What a commotion."

Huh?

My head turns to my right on its own, and I meet a gaze that rests on the pillow. Yuuhi's sleeping by my side with… almost nothing on her person.

…

W-What… What the hell… She's so close… But she looks so… pure, so calm. As she used to be, before she became the Head of the fellowship. That faint and pure smile… she hasn't given me since then.

"Such a rude awakening can hardly be beneficial to one's mental health." Yuuhi says, as softly and sweetly as she used to.

Yeah, she always looked so shiny and welcoming. I know we're at war now… and that she won't ever give me this smile, never again. Everyone's been on edge all this time, hoping for things to suddenly turn for the best would be pretty stupid, even by my standards. But, wait a moment. If this is a dream, why does it feel so real then? Why can I smell Yuuhi's hair, feel her warmth by my side? A moment…

Her hair wasn't blue, Yuuhi's hair is purple. Then, is this Meiya? Why would I be sleeping with her? I never even got to meet her face to face. What the hell, yet again.

"Yes, that should do it! Takeru-chan, I'm sure you're awake by now, but I'm still coming to wake you up anyways!" Sumika's far away voice joyfully declares, as Yuu… Meiya seems to be reflecting on something.

What the hell is going on with this dream? Or, was the war the dream? Which is real? And why can't I move?! What is this… Why can't I do anything?! What kind of dream is this, teasing me with my home and not letting me move?!

Sigh…

I somehow can begin to feel my body again, the edge of my fingertips, the taste in my lips. But I seem to be sweating an Arctic ocean as of now, for some reason. My lips trembling, barely managing to squeeze out a sound, but said sound wasn't my words. Well, it still sounds like my voice, but I didn't say anything.

Yuu… Meiya giggles at me, edging closer under the sheets. "Whatever is the matter? You sound as if you had seen a ghost."

Yeah, gee, I wonder why. Damn, she's as sarcastic as Yuuhi.

The stomping rush of Sumika raising up the stairs echoes, my body begins to shiver for a second. I can't understand why… Why is this happening? First, why would I be in a bed with Meiya? I mean, if it were Yuuhi I could… Well, if it were as she was before, maybe.

A vacuum on my stomach, absorbing my warmth like a twister. The smiling face right besides me now only sends further darts into my heart.

Yuuhi, Mion and Shion, Maya-nee and Mana-nee… shoved me away. They made it clear that none of 'em think of me as family anymore, after I disobeyed Yuuhi's order to depart from Hakuryo, to abandon the base and the town. They left me behind, and it feels like it's been a million years since I've seen Yuuhi smile as this Meiya does now. She's now the Shogun so she can't have a 'commoner' being her brother anymore. And Mion, Shion and Maya-nee… are acting like those who were horrible to me and Masahide-san while we helped in the invasion. Maybe they were right, though. I… haven't really managed to help with anything on my own, Raiho-san never stops scolding me, everyone else seems to be ignoring me…

My vision grows dark, for some reason I… or rather, the dream's me brings the blanket over our head. Meiya's face being so close to mine, her body pretty much rubbing against mine, the worries left my head. It's as if… I had gone back to before the terrorist attack. When we could fool around and laugh with the rest. Tension and icebergs slide down my back as Sumika comes up the stairs, but I can't share the emotion.

The bed feels so soft, everything in this dream feels… pleasant, like an old memory. But, anyways, why would I be dreaming of sleeping with Meiya? And to have Sumika coming to wake me up… What an odd dream. Then, am I trying to escape my duties by dreaming of a pleasant time? But, why am I conscious of how awful everything has been lately during the dream? That kind of defeats the point, doesn't it? Goddammit subconscious, you had one job…

…I don't deserve these cuddling dreams. Because of me… All because I wasn't good enough, because I'm still not good enough. How many people, how many battles would have gone differently? Maybe Raiho-san is right… I should have died as Hakuryo burned instead of you…

"Taaaakeeeeruuuu-chaaaan?" Sumika says, an eldritch screech. And again, my chest hurts. Why? I like Sumika a lot.

She gets close and tries to lift the blanket but, understandably, this dream's version of myself is strongly against that. They begin to pull at the blanket, like whenever I didn't want to wake up and she insisted I should anyways.

Hehe… You really looked after me much, Sumika. And in the end, I couldn't even do anything for you. Sigh… Though, dream me is kind of being too rude to her. There is no need to utter such words, especially when she took time off her own schedule to come wake you up. Get out of the bed, you damn slacker! Go and make breakfast with her or something.

…I wish I could go back to those days. It's all because of the stupid authorities that don't do shit when it matters… all because of these binding rules… All because the UN ran away like the damn cowards they are. I know we shouldn't pick a fight but they're just using us at this point. Not that our 'beloved national hero' is any better, though.

And dream me is still arguing with dream Sumika, pulling and pulling at the blanket. It's gonna break, dammit.

"She speaks out of kindness… There is no need to be so harsh." Dream Meiya speaks the truth.

…

Which I think is counterproductive in this situation.

Well, it's just a dream anyways. I do share his shivering this time around, it's just like when Yuuhi sent me to that damn mountain after I flirted with Arisa-san. Which I totally didn't meant to do, just to be clear. The only difference is, I didn't deserve that whereas dream me is, for some questionable reason, sleeping with Meiya and treating Sumika like shit. This… makes me want to chuckle for some reason. How silly… and nostalgic this feels. Has it been that long since me, Yuuhi and the pickles were in good terms?

…Yeah, it's feels like a long time ago, those days.

The blanket is lifted, Sumika's dumbfounded stare falls on me, or rather the dream me.

"Hahaha! Good morning to you, Sumika-kun. What nice weather we're having today, don't you think?" He even uses the same phrases I do… Well, this is my own dream after all. Kinda sucks that I can't actually 'do' anything here, though. What the hell, the trilogy.

Sumika's brows twitch, lips begin to slowly shake. Her face slowly spawns a frown strong like oil showered into a fire. I do not recall ever angering her so much… It hurts, seeing her like this. Why does everyone look at me with those same eyes as of late? Sigh…

Dream me tries to 'negotiate' with Sumika to ignore how she broke into our house in exchange for her forgetting about… ahem, us sleeping with Meiya. Which only makes Sumika more angry, understandably. Well, I know she's angry at this dream's me, but I still don't like her face.

A twitch of a brow, nibbling at her bottom lip. "Whyyy youuuuu…" Oh, god. Oh fuck, oh shit. Sumika's gonna DMP us. Well, at least this is just a dream. It won't hurt me in any- "You big, stupid idiooot!"

WHACK!

BOOOM!

BLAM!

My stomach turns as her fist impacts with my jaw, a drill splintering my intestines, forcing them into my throat. I can feel my eyes rolling back into my head, my head rolling into my neck. A second after, the wind surrounds me as I'm launched out of the window, like all the times the girls send me into the skies, everything growing smaller and smaller, the twinkles of the stars becoming visible.

"SONO CHI NO KIOKUUUUuuuuu-" I scream, before fading away into relaxation and darkness.

…

After regaining consciousness, and somehow finding myself back at the same place where I was punched like all the times this happens, I again am made to follow this dream's me routine. He is really rude to Sumika, I was never like that. Also, I don't recall the Hiiragi district being in this good shape. Sure, as of late a lot of work was done, but this road looks well kept, the sideways have no broken tiles, and there's no military patrols going on or anything. It feels so refreshing for some reason, this leisurely pace we walk in.

Sumika walks ahead of us, insulting us, or rather dream me, saying we're vile, depraved and some shit. As he tries to explain himself, she keeps asking us what was up with Meiya, and dream me says he doesn't know her. Why would he lie in such a way? How did she even got into your bed if you don't know her? Makes no sense.

I know I never got to actually talk with her, but Mana-nee did say she liked my pies much. This dream makes absolutely no sense.

"Owiie!" Sumika yelps, bringing me back to the dream.

Hey! Why did he punch her?! One thing is a flick to the forehead, but a punch is-

"Sumika, pop quiz. Yesterday's dinner was…" What's this about dinner?

"Delicious!" She says with a wide smile, charming as always. She truly does look better when she-

WHACK!

"Owiie!"

And he did it again! What's wrong with him?! Why is Sumika just going along with it? That's… sad. I don't like this, why would you hit someone so close to you? Sumika, retaliate!

And anyways… Why are they going to Hakuryo Base? This hill goes there, so why are they climbing it? Why are there this many young people going up the hill? What a weird dream.

…

The base ain't gonna be covered in fire again, right? I mean, my nightmares always tend to go back there… I try to take a breath, but my body doesn't answer. Seeing them bicker again over the key to our house, even if he's being too mean to her, is sort of relaxing. Sumika doesn't seem to be burdened, and she is smiling. The feelings coming through are relaxed, comfortable. They ease my fears as me and Sumika walk together back to the base.

…Until he punches her rather violently, which makes me mad, but then shortly after she retaliates and everything goes black as the pain pierces our stomach like a drill.

Ugh… Why do I also feel pain in this dream? It makes no sense… I mean, he deserved it but I have nothing to do with this. What the hell is going on here?

When I open my eyes I find myself in a classroom, some girl with large and exaggerated glasses scolding us for being late. Wait, is this where I study? No, I never went to this place. But they were going to Hakuryo Base… Oh, am I studying with them in this dream? Maybe… it would have been for the best if I had remained with Sumika all those years ago. Yuuhi… doesn't want me around anymore and the pickles hate me now. I can't help anyone in the Royal Guard, I'm just a burden at this point.

It does make me wonder what's up with this dream, why it all feels so real. Hakuryo being a school… I think it used to be one, a really long time ago. Kinda odd how I remember that.

Returning my attention to the classroom, everyone around us starts to scream, having a collective seizure for some reason. It makes me want to stand in attention, but no BETA are nearby nor is there an alarm blasting. Wondering why the hell are they freaking out, I spot a gaze of azure smiling at me by the blackboard. Meiya stands in a pose, giving her greetings to the class.

Why does she have a sword on her? That's illegal, only Royal Guards can carry katanas. What is wrong with this dream? And yet, why do I find myself wishing to laugh at this? She does look to be joyful, I never got to see her face to face but she always seemed to be rather displeased at something, always sober and serious. Wish Mana-nee had let me see how she reacted to the presents, now I probably won't ever get to send her anything again. Sigh… It would be nice if she could someday smile in this way in reality, maybe she'll find actually good fellows that can help her, unlike someone who can only send her cheap food every now and then. Still, seeing her shiny and happy is making me also feel jolly, if only a bit.

Unlike dream me, who is shaking as he again sweats an iceberg out of his back, I feel myself embraced by sunshine's warm grasp, dragonflies dancing into the garden of my mind, happy buzzing resonating from my chest. Though, it is weird. Why do I feel what this dream's me is feeling? Shouldn't I be dreaming about myself? What the hell, times four.

Meiya slowly comes closer, apparently coming to sit by our side. She's smiling happily, as Yuuhi used to do all the time before becoming the Head. She stops, her gaze fully focused upon us. Folding her arms for a moment, she gives us a nod.

"Takeru, I am overjoyed at the prospect of being your 'class mate'," Meiya says, to the rest's shock apparently. So this is a school… But why would she be here? Wasn't she supposed to guard Yuuhi or something? This dreams makes no sense. Still, she's happy, so that's enough.

Dream me seems to stutter a question, and dream Meiya asks us to call her by her name. Which seems to make dream me all the more nervous, his heartbeat and breathing as upset as a rabbit being chased by a wolf, yet I find this so relaxing. It would have been nice to meet Meiya openly, to train with her.

"You have my gratitude," Meiya gives us a bow, for some odd reason. "Last night… was simply exquisite. Feeling your warmth as I slept brought me great pleasure," She smiles widely, as pure as water from a mountain's source, rivaling the incoming sunshine.

…

Wait, what?

I… I… I did what with you?! T-T-That's illegal! I mean, if it were Yuuhi or Sumika I could sort of understand, but Meiya? I haven't even talked with her! Why am I having wet dreams about Meiya? And why after the fact?!

Why am I… also getting flustered as this dream's me is? I mean… It's not like I dislike Meiya but…

The odd dreams I've been having weren't like this, it was mostly an unpleasant feeling overloading me in them. Yet… Why do I find her smile so adorable?

…How weird. But it feels good. And a bit lonely, knowing I'll wake up and it's back to the silence.

The dream goes on for a long time, snippets of situations getting shown to me. An army of chefs coming into the classroom, me being in some sort of submarine watching fish with a girl I think I've seen before, then seeing an art exposition and… crashing myself against a wall thinking the painting of an elevator was indeed real. I think that actually happened before when I was little, though.

I also get to see Mana-nee in a dress similar to the one Maya-nee had when she lived with me back home, as well as those Three Idiots that used to help her take care of Meiya dressed like maids, and a raven haired girl giving us yakisoba sandwiches, that other girl with the glasses sharing with us a neat yet small lunchbox. It's all so simple, yet so heartwarming…

Seriously, what is wrong with my brain? Like, of all the things I could dream of, who are these people even?

…Also, what's up with these simulators? Why are they training to pilot TSFs? And what are even those models?! Still, it's all so fun, like how everything used to be. Maybe I'm experiencing some sort of homesickness for a time that won't be coming back?

The calm life goes on… The happiness seems to never cease… As if bubbles were surrounding me, reflecting light and colors around, as if I was relaxing on a warm bathtub. I don't know anyone in the dream save for Meiya, Sumika, Mana-nee and Takahashi-san, but it's so relaxing, like laying on my back onto the grass while enjoying the sunlight.

Simply enjoying the moment, basking into the warmth, letting the silence and the wind pass me by. Yeah, it used to be like this… before this fucking war started…

My nose twitches, catching something in the air. My eyes snap open, recognizing the scent of burning, the distant sound of creaking wood falling to blaze.

Grass meets my hands, I find myself on the hill with the large tree. Standing up, gray clouds emerge from the city, rings of fire running through the street. And Hakuryo… completely engulfed by the searing grip of the BETA.

And yet, somehow, the glare of the fire does not come with fiery warmth. It makes me shiver, cold hands again running all over me. My exhalation visible, breathing growing slow, shallow, the stomping, freezing pressure on my shoulders piles and piles up.

I blink and what's around me changes. Sumika and Mana-nee standing before me with the afterglow as their cloak, no smoke or damage in the city that's in the background. Sumika seems to be near breaking in tears, whereas Mana-nee is sporting a dead serious expression. It all glitches and corrodes, shifting between the one in a maid outfit and the one garbed in the red dress of the IRG. The fifteen minute warning she gives me, one where the dream's Mana-nee is talking about choosing Meiya or Sumika for some odd reason. Then, the one from reality, where Mana-nee admonishes me for wanting to stay in Hakuryo Base, when she threatened me with no longer being part of their family if I turned my back to Yuuhi…

No, to the Shogun. To Her Highness.

"Right… They're no longer who I knew them to be, they changed."

"You shall be stripped of the honor of carrying my House's emblem on you henceforth."

A voice I recognize, a shiver down to knees. Turning around, the royal purple, the glowing red of the Takemikazuchi stands over me.

Aiming the barrel right into me.

"Ahahaha… What? You're not happy with leaving me behind?!"

Blizzard rushes out of the nuzzle, leaving a white haven over the hill. I roll on the ground, avoiding the ice.

"Is that how it is, then?! You're gonna support that damn bastard that abandoned Uncle Koetsu, your fellows, just to look cool?!"

More and more ice beams follow after me, tumbling the tree, white mist raising from the grass. The red glare never releases me, the barrel remains seeking me.

"This isn't… You're not like that! Yuuhi, snap out of it, dammit!"

"I know not of who you speak. Lower your armaments or I shall be forced to strike you down in the Empire's name," she says, far more colder and somber than I've ever heard her being.

Knees shake, frozen in place and not because of the ice. Mumbling an answer, stumbling as I gape, my sight grows blurry, my eyes warm as I cry.

"What the fuck? Is that it? You're just… throwing me away? What of… What of us, all we shared together?! You're throwing that away too?!"

No hesitation, no wasted movements. Another shot, a shard of ice hits and explodes near me. Losing balance, my heels slip. Back on the grass, I start to roll down the hill. Arms to bark, nose to rock, face to spikes, I roll and roll, pain all over.

…Urk. It hurts… My neck feels as if it were being strangled, air leaves my lungs and I suffocate. Ugh… It's as if I had needles coming into my mouth. Legs don't answer properly and I slip a few times as I try to stand. Clawing at the ice, propelling me off it, shivering and shivering, I run away from the mist.

Only to find roots of fire growing through the ground, dark smoke rising from the maw. Nothing is left of the city, save for a giant cradle of ashes and sparks. Hesitating for a moment, until more ice explodes behind me, I run into the molten magma.

The cold recedes, I'm suddenly growing more and more warm, suffocating. Air barely comes into me, my steps grow harder to focus as my feet sear in pain with every passing second. The dark thicket of smoke that walls around me swirls, patterns that resemble faces come into view.

"Please, you've done more than enough. Look after Kaori for me," Saki-san's crying face returns to me.

Clamping both ears with my palms, I rush through the smoke, almost tripping.

"…Pull the trigger, Bro. You gotta survive," Jouji's hand trembles as he hands me his red bandanna.

My eyes strain as I cry, as the smoke overflows. Rubbing my head, it hurts to breathe, thorns encrusted into my neck. The cold hands run over my shoulders, down to my chest, and I cough, and hack, and wheeze.

"It buurns!" The echoes from my nightmares start to come up through the smoke again.

The munching, the electric shocks, the wings of fire. Smoke claws scratch at my face, at my ankles, at my wrists, trying to sink me into the hellish tide.

"No! Shut up! Leave me alone!"

Feeling blood on my lips, slicing pain on my legs, I run through the smoke, slashing it as I go. The echoes follow me, ingrained to my shadow, rivers of fire growing, the roots thickening, the heat almost taking over.

Running, stumbling, losing breath as if I were an overloaded turbo, it's getting hard to keep my eyes open.

Everything grows blurry.

I can't… breath well… Head hurts… so much…

A feet falters, falling asleep on me. Growing limp, bending at an impossible angle, it sends me down into the ground.

It's cold… but I can't feel myself shivering anymore.

Trying to crawl forward, some fingers don't react. Remaining stuck, extended like spider legs.

Legs don't answer, hands barely move, head hurts, ears ring… and everything grows so cold, so distant…

What was I even trying to do? Why even bother? It ain't like anyone needs me…

Sumika's gone, Jouji's gone, the Pickles don't care, Maya-nee hates me, Mana-nee left, Yuuhi cut her ties with me, Masahide-san and Uncle are gone…

…Hahaha.

I couldn't… even save anyone. All I did was make everything worse… Why were those voices calling out to me within the smoke? Like I could do anything about it to help them. Who would even hear me out?

All I tried, all the babel towers of papers I readied were worth nothing… No one even considers me a fellow anymore. Maybe… I should really just… close my eyes… Why even stand up? I just wanted to…

"This time no harm will come to any of you, here or there!"

Huh?

Flickers of light, cerulean and warm.

"This is the only thing I can do to truly carry on, to cut all my lingering regrets-"

The voice continues to speak, raising and raising. The cerulean fireflies rest on me, making my fingers twitch and shiver, a shock running through arms and legs, waking up.

"I don't know what I do or how I'll do it, but I'll sure as hell struggle with all my might to make a positive change and stop all this shit!"

Screaming, yelling inside my head. Air coming in, and out, and in, and out. Despite the quake in my wrist, I force palm the ground and try and lift myself. A leg gives up on me, almost sending me to kiss the ground. Wobbling, it takes a long while for me to raise.

"Yes, that's right… All I really want is to give our future a smile. To make up for my mistakes. Haa… Haa…"

Limping as I hug my shoulders, the white smoke walls over me, surrounds and accosts, whispers and yells, screams and sounds of gore. The small lights keep me warm, faintly, but it hurts just to walk. By myself, what can I even do? How am I supposed to help? Like hell I'll bow down to that bastard that abandoned Uncle… That's not the future I wanna build, but everyone's on his side. What can I…

"So what if I'm the fool?"

A lower, yet harsher, voice. This time, the flickers of fire grow beyond my body, scattering the clouds of ice away.

"All I want, all I care about is to protect her. That's all. And to that end-"

Rings of fire spawn on the ground, reactivating my legs, thawing the frost, acting as my guide in the hazy and cold mist. Palpitations rising, clawing at my heart as I walk, dampness blurs my eyes for some reason.

"I don't mind being the one in the 'wrong'. If there's no tolerance for differences of opinion, there's little reason to negotiate, ain't there? If we're the evil ones even if we do nothing… Why should I hold back, when the future they want to bring about means the ruin of anyone who disagrees?"

Stomping the floor, starting to walk properly, starting to catch on speed, I straighten up myself. Yeah, ain't that the truth. In front of such radical views, there's no discussion to be had. Politics are nothing but the continuation of war. And when there's no more words, there's only violence.

We soldiers are the last rampart, the last line that must not be crossed. Like Masahide-san said, we're like an extinguisher, ideally we should never be required but we're necessary in cases of emergency.

But what happens when one of us starts to avoid the rules? What happens when the chain gets corrupted? When any and all propositions you forward are met with hostility and shouts?

Only an idiot would try and negotiate with someone who's aiming a gun at your face. When words run out, there's no reason to hold back. Even when they claim the few good news are due to them, when it's the other way around… After all that happened, all I really want, besides all this war and cruelty…

Looking up, I find the stars. Clawing at them, my breath gets caught in my throat. That image, that nightmare of Yuuhi's bloodied face begging me to pull the trigger on her surfaces again.

All I really wanted to… I all I want to do… is to keep you safe, to give a smile to your future…

Without Yuuhi, people will lose all hope. Only she can deal with the required politics and shit, to try and negotiate for good terms, to stop the bastards that try and make business with the tragedy.

Why was I hesitating? What am I scared off? Failing? What's that? Just another sin, another stain to my life? Even if me going for broke went poorly, even if no one finds me useful…

…Why should I hold back when her life is on the line? I should just… stop playing by the book, meet their trickery with fire. If no one will listen anyways… Why leave the shadows uncontested to them? If they want a dirty war, then they shall have one. I'll burn them down to cinders… I won't lose anything else from grasp…

"Are you certain that is a wise decision?"

"Huh?!"

Through the smoke and mist, a small shape walks towards me. Her cerulean eyes, her silverish white hair, and a pair of bunny ears come into view. The little girl is garbed purely in black, her complexion is as cold and pale as the clouds of ice. She stops a few feet away from me, staring.

"Um… Who are you, little girl?"

"I see… So I resemble a little girl to your current psyche," she muses, closing her eyes and nodding.

"Uh, did I say something odd?"

"Oh, no, it is not that. I was merely- Ahem." Running a hand into her hair, she then straightens herself, looking into me. "Are you feeling well, Shirogane-san?"

"Eh? Ah, well… Better than before, yes. Overall… I still feel a bit groggy," I admit, scratching the back of my head, feeling a faint pain on the lower end of my ears.

"Is that so?"

"So, uh, who are you?"

"Do you not recognize me?" I blink, stare at her features for a moment, then shake my head. She closes her eyes, grasping her chin. "I see… I suppose you can… refer to me as Kasumi."

"Huh. Kasumi… Do you have a surname?"

"It is unimportant, my name shall suffice. Do you recall ever meeting me?"

"No, I don't ever recall meeting a real bunny girl in my life."

"Wh- I am not a- Sigh…" Her shoulders sag, a hand rubs her forehead. "In any case, are you certain you wish to stand and return?"

"…What?"

"If you lay down now and close your eyes, perhaps the flow could grant you peace, in a way."

"What are you… saying? Am I… dead?"

She holds my gaze, silently, before slowly shaking her head. "Not yet, no. However, there is an outcome, a… branch, you could say, in which you perish in this particular day. The circumstances are different, yet the echo could be replicated."

"Huh? W-What?" Staggering, grasping at the air, for a sec everything spins on me. "I'm about to die?"

"…There is a possibility, if you allow the current to take you. It is true that… perhaps, it is too painful for you to continue to stand every day. You've already done enough, Shirogane-san. You do not need to struggle anymore."

"So you're saying I… should just shut up and die?"

"O-Only if," another voice raises, hesitates, "if you want to."

A small face peeks from behind he shoulder of the bunny girl. Another girl, even smaller, looks at me, unblinking. The dark garbed one sidesteps, the white one stumbles forward as her support vanishes from place. Grumbling and stomping the tip of her shoe while glaring at the dark bunny girl for a moment, she gulps and takes a step forward, watching me intently. Light brown eyes meet mine, directly and piercingly, a glare that resembles an avalanche. Yet, she says nothing, instead tugs at the edges of her frilly white dress, that looks like a goth loli design or some shit. Her short hair kept in place by two clips in the form of folded bunny ears, her eyes flee mine again. Kasumi chops her shoulder, the little girl squeals.

"U-Um…" She starts, scratching the back of her head as she looks up. "You… You do not want to surrender, right?" She asks, staring again, Kasumi face palms and sighs, heavy yet short.

"…To be honest, I'm really scared right now. I… I don't think anyone really needs me, and maybe it'd be better if I just gave up," she looks down, squinting her eyes really, really hard, bending the edge of her dress. "But… But I don't wanna let things end like this. I don't know what I can do, but this isn't how I wanna let the final curtain fall on me. So no, I won't die today, little girls."

My answers seems to make the one in white glimmer, smiling a moment after. "Heh, I told you he wasn't gonna give up, Kasumi-nee," she says, raising a small fist towards the one in black.

Who shakes her head, rolling her eyes. "Siiigh… Shirogane-san, may I ask what is your plan going forward?"

"Bold of you to assume I have a plan, bunny girl."

Her bunny ears cascade, the one in white gives me a narrowed gaze. "Then, what do you plan to do from now on?" She asks, the bunny ears flapping for a moment.

"Well… I know I'm not very useful, but there must be something that can be done. I still believe small acts of compassion are worth gold, even as everything keeps on falling on our heads. Like Masahide-san taught me, even those tiny mercies will bear fruit at some point. If we don't try to lend a hand in times of need, we get the darker for it. And things are already bleak enough. So, well, while I don't know if anyone really believes in me anymore…" I take in air and exhale, the thorns, the shards, the pressure off my chest. Staring into their eyes, those little eyes that remain focused on me, I swallow the sigh I was about to release. "I think looking for whoever thinks like I me is all I can do, and work from the ground up until one day I can start making a positive difference."

"And what happens when nothing happens?" Kasumi asks, the other girl frowning, groaning at her.

"Well, I guess I'll keep hacking at it on my own…" As I've been doing lately, to no effect. "But even if no one listens, if I'll never see the people I loved again… I'll live to protect that peace we once had, to stop this goddamn war for good. No matter what happens or comes at me, I refuse to keep living like a coward."

"And if these efforts are fruitless?" She asks, tilting her head, flapping her ears at me. "You should know dissidence isn't tolerated in the IRG."

"While that's true…" feeling my neck tightening, I slowly inhale, cross my arms, and meet her gaze straight ahead, "I'll do what I gotta do, even if it only confirms the ill words everyone says about me."

"And if you find yourself alone and without allies?"

"Hmph… In that case…" heat in my gut, in my stomach as I exhale through gritted teeth, "I'll despair after I'm dead. If I'm gonna lose it all, I rather keep on fighting until the end instead of dying like a coward."

"Yeah!" The one in white shouts, nodding as she waves both tiny fists up and down. "There is no point in decreasing your own morale before giving the fight. While it is quite fair to affirm that those around you would rather seek perfect homogeneity, you must face your own matters in your own terms. Regardless of the pressure your peers may place on you, there are some fights you must give for your own sake," she nods twice, a small smile in her face.

"…I guess you're right. You're rather articulate for a little girl, though."

"Wh- I'm not little! I'm-"

CHOP!

"Do not be stupid, please," Kasumi says, after the swift delivery of a chop to the head of the other little girl.

"Grr… You're horrible," so she pouts, small embers coming out. "Anyways," she says, rubbing her head, "please do not be discouraged. I'm certain there is something you can work towards. Just, well, do not put yourself in unnecessary risk, please. There is a thin line separating bravery from recklessness, you'd understand," she says, giving me a small bow, then remains staring, staring, and staring until I give a nod out of reflex.

"Sigh… Merely know that what lays ahead for you is a truly perilous, truly arduous road," Kasumi says, giving me a frontal look. "You truly might be heading towards an unalterable fate."

"Yeah, things do be feeling like that at times," I nod, giving out a sigh. "But, you know, I really… miss the peace we had. I know things won't ever be the same, but even if only a little, I wanna restore a sliver of that peace to Japan."

For myself, to atone for all my fuck ups until now. For all my friends that died, just to keep the BETA at bay. And for all those that will remain afterwards, like that poor little girl from Kyushu and her friend that are about to be sent to work in the factories. As I am now, I'm basically worthless. Worse than a zero on the left, because I have a cost for the army. But now, I'm no longer a little kid. I can try to help, even if no one listens or cares.

…Sure, it hurts a lot. Sure, I wanna cry everyday. Sure, I can't even stomach my rations well lately. But if things could be even just half as nice as the dream I had a while ago… Even if it takes a long while- No, because it's gonna take me a while, I gotta start to make a little more effort everyday.

"Even if no one in the IRG finds me useful, that is enough of an answer. I won't limit myself to being a tool of the system, because people are depending on me now. So, well," scratching the back of my head, my brows curve, I cough and feel coldness on my shoulders, "I'll try to start with small things from my position, to stop the overwhelming stance some jerks have in the ranks. And if that doesn't work out, well…"

"You could…" the one in white whispers, lips curving as she plays with her bangs, "try to join the UN. I'm certain someone there would welcome your services."

"Sigh.. The UN Farces are more of a mess than the IRG, and that says a lot." Just remembering the ruckus that came after some soldiers in the IJA refused to speak in the international language, retorting with 'English can eat shit' instead, is enough to make me wanna puke. Instead of cooling things down, those idiots from the UN wanted to escalate everything. Raiho-san, of all people, had to calm the tide back then. "Honestly, I dunno if they work with the yanks or not, but I can't really trust such a large organization that has a sloppy chain of command. Like, really, forcefully trying to take over the shelters, demanding we become refugees by force? Even I am not that stupid, and I do plenty of fuck ups on a daily basis." If not for that elegant woman, that the IJA soldiers of our shelter recognized as 'the Reaper', shit would have hit the fucking turbine and it would have come down to blows.

"Well, but," the frilly dress is bent, her lips twist into a pout, she remains staring straight into my eyes, "you could lend your help, what you know of the IRG."

"Interfering in his decision is unwise," Kasumi retorts, narrowing her eyes, which causes the one in white to groan, thump her feet on the ground again. "That being said, do not fall on the pitfall that the UN is wholly evil. While certainly ruthless and pragmatic, there are those who would… desire the same outcome as you in that place."

"Well, I guess no tree gives only rotten apples," I nod, scratching my head. Taking in a deep breath, refreshing my lungs, I cough a bit, taking a step forward. "Thanks for the chat, little girls. But… I think it's better if I start to wake up… however it is I do it."

Kasumi nods, "I do agree. Best of luck from now on, Shirogane-san. Please, do not be discouraged at what may come to you. And," she grips her dress, looking away, "do not let the echoes of these nightmares delve too deeply on your ears."

"…I'll try, but I dunno if I can endure them that well."

"Just, please…" the one in white takes a step closer, joining both hands, "don't punish yourself over events beyond your control. Even if what you see pains you to great lengths… do not lose your drive, please."

Getting closer, I pet her head. She twitches but doesn't pull away, instead she closes her eyes while I ruffle her hair. "Thanks. I know I might be too emotional at times, but I guess I gotta man up at one point. After all, if I wanna give a smile to their future, I gotta be willing to keep rolling the dice through the ones."

"…That's not true," she says, opening her eyes, sharpened. "If… If you really want that then, don't lose your own smile. Please, work towards making your own future smile, too."

"…My future, too? Huh… After all I've done, I don't think-"

"Failure doesn't make you any less deserving of happiness, Shirogane-san," Kasumi says, patting my shoulder. "If you forget what joy is, you won't be able to truly take into account the feelings of others into your plans. That is, I believe, your greatest strength. That despite everything, you stubbornly hold onto your desire for peace," she smiles, bright enough to dispel the fog that surrounds us, while nodding.

"…Thanks, really. I… Thanks," wiping my eyes, I take a few short breaths. When was the last time someone even cared about how I felt again? Since Shura's Dance?

"Um… Err…" the one in white steps forward, arms slowly opening, stuck as if lacking oil.

Realizing what she was trying to do, I nod and open my own arms. She quickly dives into me, embracing me tightly, patting my back, rubbing up and down.

"Please, don't lose heart, no matter what it is you see," she says, whispers, pleads, almost. "You might… face many cruel truths, things you cannot compute, but please do not lose yourself in the pain. Please…"

"I… I won't. Um, thank you, really," patting her head, she again closes her eyes. Remaining in place for a moment, she slowly, as dawnbreak, pulls away, then hugs her own sides.

At first, trying to reach out to my face, then recoiling back, two steps, three steps, she gives me a bow. "So, well, best of luck from now on."

"Sigh… I am gonna need it, I guess," smiling at both of them, I take a few steps forward, waving back. "Well, thanks for cheering me up. Goodbye, little girls."

"That's wrong!" The one in white scolds, pouting.

"Huh? What is?"

"Ahem," Kasumi sends a hand to her hair, a gaze to the other one before taking a step towards me. "If you'd like to meet someone again, saying 'Goodbye' would be inappropriate. In such cases, you must say 'See you later', correct?"

"I, well, yeah… See you later, I guess," I nod, waving again. This time they do wave back, the one in black giving me a small smile, the one in white also doing so, yet both eyes and lips squint and contract as if saddened.

Turning around, walking forward, more ice spikes meet my feet. The frozen air surrounds me, blinding me in white.

Barely able to lift my legs, elbows on my chest, palms over my lips. Like a blanket the cold envelops me, seizing all of me even through my clothes. It gets harder to breathe, to move my limbs, kind of feeling restrained by something, bound fully.

Those echoes start again, the explosions, the eternal wasteland. The odd woman that's devoured by a Soldier-Class, the big lady that falls to the stormy sea. Yuuhi asking me to shoot her, Sumika remaining still in a hospital bed as the flat-line beeps with no end.

I know there's little to be done. I don't know what I can do. I am lost in the fog, both now and in real life. But even if there is no road to follow, I do have a compass with me.

"We… wield the sword not to further our own interests… but to protect the powerless. That is… the code of our style. And what has to be done, is not what anyone else has done… but a road that will be forged with my own hands!"

Even if I'm called names, even if the rest of the IRG thinks I'm not worth my rations.

Even if I end up cold and all alone again, even if I'll never recover the bonds I've lost.

Even if I end up as the bad guy for the rest, the one who goes against the current and causes dissidence.

All I really want… is to see you smile, to see you blossom and be happy.

So I'll keep pressing on against the whole world by myself, if that lets me… see that smile will remain safe and sound…

August 5th, 1998.

(In a private room of a hospital reserved for the IRG.)

---

Slow and steady is the awakening, not so the refocusing of the senses. Everything remains blurred to the soldier's eyes for a moment, no blinking can ease the fogginess which has him captive.

Faint beepings reach his ears, he cannot move to his will. Merely opening his lips ever slightly has oxygen, warm oxygen entering him. The mask put in place doesn't allow him to raise, barely even to move his neck. Hands are also restrained to the gurney, tubes whose end is covered by a small amount of white cloth connect his arm to some metallic stick he cannot see very well.

Groans leave his lips, minute movements do not make it any easier for him to find comfort. Heart rate accelerates, the unknown unnerving him further, the weakness in his limbs, the lack of answer from them injects further concerns into his still dizzy mind.

As if to relieve his confusion, the door to the room opens slowly, a slim figure squeezes itself through a minimal opening, making no noise in the entrance. Sporting a small curling ponytail, her shoulder length hair curling inwards, Tsuhi Yasomaga steps into the resting room of the soldier, still wearing the gray dress her station bestows her in the IRG.

Slow steps at first, a sunken expression barely drags itself upwards to leave a folder or two on a desk. She then looks at the bed, blinks in quick succession, and her features rise and grow tense. Eyes as wide as her lips, she remains frozen until the soldier gives out a small groan which spurs her to hurriedly approach the bedside.

"T-Takeru… You're awake?" He nods, barely. "You can tell… who I am?" Another nod with a groan, brows slowly curving down. "Do you feel well?"

He tries to speak, only to end up coughing as the mask continues to feed him oxygen against his will, only allowing him to squeeze half a word out. Yasomaga quickly goes up to the controls for the device, first checking his blood pressure and body temperature in the nearby monitors, only then releasing the mask as she breathes a sigh, deep and long.

"So, um… Are you feeling well?"

"Cough…Kind of. Where am I?"

"You do not recall?" He squints his eyes then shakes his head, she sighs then propels his head upwards, readjusting the pillow below him. "Your Zuikaku was struck down, and your cockpit broke off." Slowly sitting down besides him, both hands crush each other, she cannot meet his gaze. "You ended up falling into the sea, and due to a failure on your suit, you almost drowned. Due to, well, the loss of heat you endured… and all the stress you had built up due to not sleeping for days on your duties, you came down with a severe case of hypothermia."

"Was I… grave?" He asks, feeling like he had heard something similar just moments ago.

She nods, silent for a moment as she shifts, as she gulps. Almost drowning into her inner woes, still unable to meet his gaze. "Yes, despite having the helmet on you almost did drown in open sea."

Flashes of Fort-Class come into his sight, the dangerous maneuver he tried to pull, like he had seen in a dream, seemed to be successful for the most part. Except his watermelon was hurt by the acid, and the ejection sent him into open sea instead of towards land.

"The mission- cough… What happened to-"

Placing a hand over his shoulder, massing him gently and carefully, she nods, "Worry not, there were no further losses of ground nor cities. Albeit dangerous, your maneuver did stall the Forts for long enough to allow the UN to regroup."

"I see…" He closes his eyes then, resting fully onto the bed.

"…Takeru? Takeru, are you still awake?" She calls out, almost quivering, ice darts into her heart, only to sigh pure relief as he groans and opens his eyes. "Um… How are you feeling? Can you move?"

He blinks, trying and easily lifting his arms as much as the bindings allow, fluttering his feet as if trying to swim. "Feel weak, faint… but not hurt or anything. Why am I here?"

"Did you even listen? You… You weren't even shivering anymore when we recovered you," she whispers, looking down to hide her eyes, crushing her knees in the grip.

"I don't get it…"

"You almost died, your pulse had vanished and you weren't breathing. You… Hic… I thought you were going t-to…" a few tears try and leave, she wipes them off, unable to continue speaking.

"So I almost died, huh…" again, something tickled the back of his head, trying to recall why he felt like he was having Deja Vu. "Am I alright now?"

"Eh? Ah," wiping her face with her arms hastily, she nods in equal speed, "yes, you should be safe by now. The doctors said you had already recovered the right temperature a few days ago, but… but you weren't waking up…" lips quivering, again she hides her eyes.

"How long… has it been?"

"A week, almost."

"Huh… Is everyone fine?"

"Yes, we suffered no casualties, thanks to you…" she then grips her dress, purses her lips. "Um, Takeru, do you… remember how you were working before the mission?"

"Um…" closing his eyes, narrowing his brows and lips, he gives a nod a moment later, "I was dealing with the reports in the shelters and my office… lending a hand in the kitchen… and keeping the children company, I think?"

"…I see," she clamps her lips, wishing to ask further, not knowing if he was yet well enough to press for such answers.

Their talk is interrupted as the door opens once more, this time harshly and quickly. In long steps, a shape garbed in crimson enters the room, the strong purple of the glare making Yasomaga's hair stand on edge.

"2nd Lt Yasomaga, how is he faring toda-" Amato's eyes widen, mouth remaining open when she sees the soldier returning her stare. And in petrification she remains, stillness in her mind, further in her soul.

"Cough…Good day, Raiho-san," he tries to say, not loud enough as usual, slowly raising his right hand to salute.

"You're awake?"

"Uh, yes. Either that or you're sleeping," he retorts, narrowing his eyes.

Not finding it funny, Amato frowns yet fumbles with her words, pointing a finger at him, then grabbing her lily hair with both hands. Folding both words and arms, she instead slowly walks up to the bedside, Yasomaga standing hastily to allow her to sit in her position.

"…Since when?" She whispers as she sit down.

"He was already awake when I arrived, Cpt, ma'am," Yasomaga answers instantly.

"I see. Shirogane, how are… you faring? Any pain, anything that feels off?" He shakes his head slowly, she swallows a sigh. "Is that so? Did you awaken long ago?"

"No, just a little before Tsuhi came in. She filled me in what had happened."

"Do you… recall the events that led to your Zuikaku being shot down?" She asks, leaning closer, staring.

"Sort of, but it's all blurry."

"I… I see," she inhales, crossing a leg over the other. Once more she looks into his eyes, steeling her glare. "Shirogane, may I inquire into some matters now?"

"Yeah, what is it?"

"…Why did you not request any assistance with your duties?" She asks, frowning.

"I did, I've been trying to help out for a while but…" he looks down, sighing, "you always shout at me when I give you my reports."

"I… I was not aware you were the one fielding all the reports on your own. Why did you not notify me you were left alone in the shelter's detachment?"

"I did… I asked you if you thought I was doing well, remember? And you told me… I was worse than a zero on the left." His gaze then sinks, closing as he slowly breathes out.

Amato feels a noose on her neck, the vice grip tightening. "I… I had thought you were only tackling your original duties. Why did you not report the matter thoroughly?" She asks, voice rising, magma as well within, burning her throat.

"Ma'am, please mind you tone," Yasomaga reminds, pleads as she bows down. "Takeru just woke up moments ago."

Glaring at the girl, then sighing harshly and shaking her head, fingers dive into the dress, pressure in her head, small flickers of pain in her forehead. "Why did you remain quiet?"

Under the pressure of the stare, the young boy lowers his, coughing getting the better of him for a moment. "You always said I wasn't doing enough, I didn't want to bother you."

"Do not give me that!" Almost raising to her feet, hitting both thighs with strength enough to hurt, she frowns and lets her teeth be seen. "No one sane would even dare to try and handle as much paperwork. It was a folly to even attempt such workloads for a single day," she leashes out, lungs tightening, hands wringing.

His sight closes shut, trying to recall the oath he had made, beginning to falter, fear disturbing his breathing. "I… am nothing doing enough, you always say I don't do anything meaningful. Something that anyone can accomplish holds no value, right?" He asks, rhetorically, causing thorns and darts to pierce Amato's neck, her palms and knuckles growing red.

"What nonsense are you spouting?" She seethes, hands shaking, fully frowning. "You lied to me about the injury in your forehead the day before the mission, did you not?"

"Eh? Um… I don't remember," he admits, truly not recalling much about the last days he had been awake. Due to the lack of sleep and the ensuing hospitalization, a void had been left in his recollections, you'd understand.

She did not seem too pleased with the answer, however. "Then, what of your daily duties? You… You were the one in charge of preparing my meals, were you not?"

"Y-Yes… I know you don't like them but I… was doing my best…"

"Care to enlighten me as to why they were larger than they should have?" She inquires, eyes blazing.

Which begin scorching his composure, subtly shaking, hands drying, losing heat. "Um… I, well, was giving you half of my rations, since you're always staying until late in the office, doing stuff that matters. Everybody says I don't even… deserve them anyways… At least they're being put to better use?" He suggests, trying to smile.

It only invigorates the pyre. "Do not dare to jest on this matter, Shirogane!"

"R-Raiho-sama, please do not shout. He has just-"

"Silence, Yasomaga," she glares, sending the girl recoiling away, gaze crumbling to the floor. Sighing hard, rubbing her forehead, she again gazes at the young soldier boy, who was trying to still hold her gaze despite feeling the scratches of the billowing smoke all over. "Shirogane, you also have been causing some discussions in the shelter, have you not?"

"I… I only wanted to keep the people safe," he says, barely nodding, cold hands embracing him from behind, tickling his ears. "Some officers from other fellowships come and go as they please, they want to keep the civilians caged inside the walls all day. I… I can't simply stand and watch as-"

"And why haven't you reported that?!"

"Eh? Ah, uh, I- I did but you don't read-"

"Because you've remained quiet about it!" She fumes full fire, feeling sick to her stomach, losing breath at the thought of anyone causing harm to the shelter's people or to the relation with the IJA soldiers there stationed. Even more at the piling pressure the boy must have faced, as the lone face of the Koubuin fellowship standing his ground. Even further when recalling her venomous words towards him. "How foolish can you possibly be? Refusing to eat properly, missing sleep while tackling an entire office's work on your own, patrolling and facing other officers by your lonesome… Can you not see the fruits of your own efforts?" She asks, frowning, still fuming.

So he looks down, taking her anger to heart. "I… I'm sorry… I just thought to try harder… to be useful. Even if I'm alone, if I keep trying-"

"There is only so much an individual can accomplish," she shakes her head, ruffling her hair. "Why did you even decide to tackle such a workload in the first place?" She asks, raising a brow, folding her arms, concern showing its eyes within her tone.

He, however, cannot see it. Eyes closed, bolted to his hands, the echoes of her scolding still fresh in his ears. The echoes of nightmares creeping closer, up his back, the blindness of white he suffered before has him shaking, coldness enveloping him. "I just… wanted to make a difference, to keep the peace in the shelter, to help the little kids. I'm not enough, I'm never enough when it matters the most. So I have to try harder, to not fail again. But, well, even without the accident in the mission I'd have fainted anyways… Haha… ha…."

"I do not find it amusing, at all," Amato sighs, still frowning. "My apologies for having shouted," she says, giving a minute bow.

Sniffing, holding himself in check, sighing deep. "No, you don't have to apologize, for real," he says, causing both of them to cork an eyebrow. "I mean, you were always right in the end."

"Hm? Regarding what?"

"…I should have been the one who died that day," he whispers, closing his eyes. "If Masahide-san were here, he'd have made such a huge difference. Nothing would have gone wrong in the shelters, the offices would have remained safe and well staffed. Compared to that, all I can do is hope for the best and push on by myself. Sigh…"

"…What?" She says, gritting her teeth. Blazing eyes is what the young soldier sees, literal fire as her head rears backwards. Images of tempest flash in her mind. Pages torn in brutality, scribbles as chaotic as the oceanic collapse, clouds and typhoons left in the pages of the soldier's personal diary. Recalling the last entry, the flat-line that echoed during treatment, and all that she had neglected further invigorates the already fiery temper of Amato, spurring her to raise from the seat. "Don't you dare to utter such words!"

'For you have nothing to be ashamed of' is what she wanted to say next, to express apologies for the blindness she chose to employ. Instead, however, her insides hollow, the fire freezes, and once more she stands in petrification. In a way, for her it is like staring into a mirror, a mirror to the past.

Both hands shield his head, quivering, upon her harsh swing of a hand when she raises. The veneer of the soldier vanishing, the echoes overflowing, the boy shuts his eyes tightly, quivering in cold. "D-Don't hit me, please!" He pleads, clawing at his head.

"W-What?" She barely manages to stutter back.

"I'll… try harder, I won't hesitate anymore. I'll do my best to m-make a difference…" shaking again, sinking into the white blindness, into the forest.

"I… I am not reproaching you, Shirogane," she says, barely managing to touch the edge of his shoulder, causing him to flinch away, still shielding himself from both hits and shouts. The reflection hurts her eyes, she bites her lips. "I… I apologize," she whispers, slowly placing a few fingers on his, pulling them away from his head. "I was not aware of… all you were handling. It was my folly, and I should not have been… reprimanding you as I did."

"B-But those who cannot contribute are-"

"Stop," she orders, placing both hands over his shoulders. "You've been fielding more reports than anyone else, and watching over the shelters mostly on your own. Can you not see what you have accomplished thus far?"

"…You never really praise me, everyone says I'm not working hard enough." Looking down, shutting down, inwards, he claws at his arms. "I'm just a burden, aren't I?" Yeah, like always. Never doing anything that matters, no one can rely on me. Just like how I left them alone at the end of Ouka. They? Who are 'they'?

Suddenly, there is softness. Slowly bringing her arms around him, Amato pulls him closer, careful not to disturb the tubes still attached to his arm. "You're nothing of the sort. I've made many mistakes, I… have been releasing my frustrations on you, truth be told." She admits, biting her lips as she runs a hand over his dry hair. "Being all day in the office has unnerved me, and it is why I was unaware of your efforts. Forgive me, I shouldn't have placed such heavy burdens on your young shoulders."

"Eh? So… you won't send me away or anything? Aren't I useless?"

"Don't be ridiculous… I'm telling you, that was uncalled for. I am apologizing, so take it to heart, Shirogane. I… will endeavor not to let my temper get the better of me from now." She swears, her hold over him tightening. "So, while I appreciate your hard work, do not keep such things away from my notice. I… I'm sorry, truly."

And for a moment, he merely cries softly.

Every wail sends further knifes into Amato's lungs, the mirror wishing to crack and send the shards into her neck. Once more, like many moons ago, she starts to feel tiny grains of rice, many grains of rice engraving into her knees, her very bones. Swollen, hurting more and more she was made to kneel over the dry grains, the pools and ponds of red that beneath her skin formed, her arms raising in defense as the young soldier had done moments before upon the yells of her father, the dejection she had now imitated and thrust upon the boy.

Her inner affliction, her own oath towards her underling, her apologies to her brother are short lived, however. Her thoughts are snapped cleanly when her fingertips meet wetness on his back. And all air is lost within her when she sees the glove coming up stained in red, red like her dress.

"What in the Heavens… Shirogane, can you turn around?" She asks, placing a hand on his shoulder. He nods, slowly, and tries to move despite the bindings. The white of the hospital garb was now drenched red, even the sheets had a large stain on them. "…What is the meaning of this?" Eyes widening, teeth gritting, she pulls at his garb, to the soldiers confusion. Upon removing it hastily, she finds a large open wound on the left side of his chest, and many more small scars littering his backside.

Freshly carved into his body, the wounds ooze blood yet do not hurt the soldier, who cannot understand why Amato had deprived him of modesty nor why Yasomaga was paling more with every passing second. Of course, it is but an ill turn of events, that they had to come check up on him shortly after the… beginning of the integration occurred.

It did not stop the quake of anger, the frown that spiraled out of control in Amato's eyes. "Who did this to you?"

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"Look at yourself! You're bleeding all over!" She yells, and the sight of blood gives a momentary flash of vertigo to the young boy. "What happened here? Who hurt you so?!"

"I… I don't know… I can't… Ugh!"

Fire, wings of fire. Two bodies in a gurney, or two pieces of charcoal perhaps. Not understanding, his breathing grows shallow.

"Yasomaga, what is the meaning of this?!" Seeing his confusion, Amato stands and approaches the girl, who was assigned as his guardian.

"I-I do not know! Takeru was fine yesterday," she reports, standing in attention, fearful of the advance of the Red Lighting upon her person.

"Do you take me for a fool?! Answer me, what is the cause behind those scars?! You were watching over him until visiting hours were over, weren't you?" She asks, invading the girl's personal space, almost emitting a heatwave off her person.

"Y-Yes, I was, Raiko-sama. I, um, I only allowed Maya-sama to see him before light's out."

Amato's eyes blaze dark, grabbing the girl by the collar, demanding an explanation for the missing report on this matter, on what transpired during that visit.

And so, neither notices the clawing, crushing grip of both hands upon his nape. The mumbles, the whispers, the twitch in his eyes. Memories flowing back, faster and faster. Molding into what he now knows, the twisting nightmares grow taller, distorted, toxic.

The ports of battle, the repression of civilians. It aligns with the death of Kurosawa, and he bends and bites his lips.

The dismissal and aggression he felt from the one who at one point was his stepsister, reflecting emotions he cannot comprehend towards the Takemikazuchi that gave chase, aiming a blizzard his way.

In the silence of his mind, trying to endure, a face popped up. The face of his friend, who he had lost to the Fall of Yokohama.

And it all comes crashing down like the tidal wave within his memories, his composure, his temperature, even his skin tone which pales more and more. It all crumbles as a memory comes to him, what preceded their union at a critical juncture. Yet, now knowing she was, perhaps, trapped by the BETA…

…the cruel truth she revealed to him back then only serves to sever any and all semblance of reason away from his mind.

Amato and Yasomaga halt their discussion as he cries, as he pulls the tubes off his arm, throwing the IV to the ground. Yet, their steps halt and a void is imprinted on their stomachs, when hearing the draconian war cry that from his lips surges forth as those little, tiny worms squeeze their way down the throat of his friend.

A dialyzer falls and break into the tiles, the monitors also follow suit.

Blood oozes still from his open wounds, further from his lips and eyes as the memories fall upon his mind, as he once more recalls all his mind.

And like the thunderstorm within this Black Lilith, in image of the dark dragon he thrashes about, crying non-stop as he does, undoing what near his hands lie, not finding solace, the flow of reminiscence not stopping.

Hands that binds, shouts that beg for calmness are met with further thrashing. Strong enough to send both of them flying towards a wall, to then punch, and claw, and rip the sheets to shreds, to tiny, tiny pieces. Just as his Takemikazuchi did to that same friend, when finding her abandoned in the JFK Hive. Perhaps, making the link subconsciously is what spurs him to send the chair flying towards the window, to shatter it in a thousand pieces.

And crying and weeping, he struggles against the myriad of arms that try and restrain his outrage. And even outnumbered by a factor of five, they still are just as useful as a wooden rampart against a typhoon. Yet, within the heart, he's sinking into the deep sea, further and further below, where no light truly does reach. The storm inside him knows no end, as voices and people he now knows only spur forward memories of days he could not, did not wish to recall. A slice on his throat, skull-shattering pain in between his brows.

And, even as everything spins and fades, as the anesthetic dulls his mind into slumber, there is one last figment, one last gaze he meets which compulses further tears.

"Sumika-san is dead. Your fight is already over."

A pull on my shoulder, the vision cuts off.

Her cerulean gaze wavers as she takes in a deep breath. "This was plentiful… We've interfered enough."

"…That's not for you to decide," I turn away, closing my eyes once more, shapes swirling in the dark.

"What exactly are you hoping to achieve with this observation?" She asks, as dry and monotonous as always.

"…Really, I don't know. All I'm certain of is, I want to stay by him, even if as a mere observer."

"Sigh… You know there is no way in which Shirogane-san could avoid Lucifer."

"I'm not forcing you to watch, am I?" I look back, frowning, tapping my forearm.

She grimaces, looking away. "I can hear the echoes from your mind."

"Simply stop stalking me then."

"It will only hurt you more," she says, turning around, walking towards the exit. "I doubt he'd be able to fully recall everything, as he is now Shirogane-san won't be able to avoid-"

"Shut up and get out of here already," I fume, turning away, closing my eyes.

Zoning her out, zoning everything out, I return to my observation.

He now lays resting on the bed, Amato stomping over the nurses in her demands to know what had hurt him. Breathing regular, regaining his usual color. While within his mind perhaps much chaos will remain, his aura isn't scattered. Sturdy as an oak, I should not be surprised.

And yet, I do admit she has a point. Furthermore, it is somehow ironic. You, who was once referred to as the silver blossom, might truly resemble such flowers. Known as the white chrysanthemums, symbol of nobility and loyalty.

…And as what flowers are offered to caskets during funerals. It is almost hilarious, white chrysanthemums can only bloom from October to December, too. Sigh…

Despite it all, his vital signs are stabilizing. With enough time and support, he'll walk again. Now that he has exhausted what excess G-Radiation he absorbed due to the laser irradiation, the memory inheritance shouldn't be as harsh and sudden.

…Still, what am I hoping for here? Even as we spoke, he was hesitant, scarred. Resolute by the end, but by his lonesome what could he accomplish?

And yet, gazing at his sleeping face, at the calmness that thankfully sets in, all I can do is extend a prayer, howl towards that distant Earth you are in. Hoping whatever meager effect I can leak to you can aid your sleep, even if only slightly. The blazes within your soul are yours to tame, and in no small amount I have only caused further distress to you. If that dark dragon we met on our way to you a moment ago is any proof, you were more hurt by that incident than me. Physical injuries heal with time, emotional ones… are not guaranteed to.

It is saddening, that this is all I can hope to do. Just watch, silently. Simply watch, as you're mistreated, as you continue to maim yourself, as you push yourself into hospitalization. Now that we are away, I cannot even grant you the respite of an embrace. Truly, what am I hoping to achieve by remaining watching?

Sigh… Shooting stars truly are sad entities. Burdened with hopes and dreams, fated to be forgotten as fast as they flash through the skies. However, I do not wish to turn around and forget. You might have fallen to the ground, you might be burning, fading even, but I refuse to simply forget you. I waited for so long, and against all odds, against all probability, my wish was granted. Thus, despite being only able to send some meager echo, a faint wish of protection to you, I won't abandon you, my shooting star.

Even if I can only accompany you in dreams, even if this is all I can do to repay you.

…I'm not asking for another miracle out of you.

You do not have to take the sword once again if it pains you.

Much less prevent or overcome Lucifer, there is no need for such lofty goals.

Even less to truly recall everything, and face another war over the Alternative Projects.

And wrapping my arms around my body, recalling your embrace and our brief time together, I simply watch you sleep. If you are listening, if could allow me to be selfish one last time, all I would ask, all I would wish for… if you could grant me only one final request, then just… just please…

"…Please stay safe, dad."

---

A/N: I won't have another chance to do this, so here goes:

YOU NEVER SAW IT COMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!

Now, stupid joke aside, this was the grand twist I've been building towards since the start of the rewrite. Leaving many hints towards the fact that Takeru being a parent would be a relevant plot point was one of the hardest things for me to do, since as the writer I thought them to be obvious and I've been second guessing myself on whether the reveal was going to work, if it would have any impact at all on my writing's own merit and not solely for the connection with canon material.

The one cool method I thought to use was to have the narrator use turns of phrases or expressions that only Takeru or her mother use, maybe hoping it would blur in the background and end up assumed as my own narrative voice. SirGaraf was the only that pointed out one of such turns of phrases, so at least the repetition was obvious enough to be noticed. Other small things were how he's referred as a dark armed dragon, an iconic Yugioh card that is always shortened to DAD, and a few other moments scattered about that put to question him being a parent or alluded to it somehow. Same with the title of the chapter where he regains certain memories, Despair After Death.

There are other little funny things hidden in the titles and I honestly wonder if all of this foreshadowing was too cryptic to work properly or if anyone figured parts of this puzzle before this chapter, like who the mother of the narrator is or how DADkeru was going to be a thing.

I'd like to know your thoughts on the foreshadowing, to see if it's worth it for the way forward. I know many have voiced their oppositions to flashbacks or detours from the 'main' events, but at least in that way you, the readers, are aware of all the pieces. I dunno if leaving things to implications, more with my cryptic way of using foreshadowing, would work out so as to not cause confusion, as the parts with the narrator have been thus far before this reveal that it actually isn't a third person narrator but the PoV of Keru's daughter.

As for why I put this twist in an already charged story, my most favorite part of the trilogy is Unlimited's ending. I cannot state how much I love and hate Song of a Distant Earth.

Ever since I received my first piece of harsh criticism in the OG chapter 31, I've been thinking on how to turn around the overwhelming angst Takeru faces on a chapter by chapter basis. More than anything, the lie that he believes in, that he never saved anyone and never really contributed as much as the rest, the ghosts that he refuses to let go of. So, learning that he had indeed saved his lover, that he saved his child's life more importantly, seeing it with his own eyes instead of just being told of it is what I thought would be the best catalyst to change his mindset, to become his pillar of strength amidst the never-ending stream of setbacks he's been facing in the Reversal timeline.

This in turn sent quite the chaos into the storyboard, into how to line up the events and references, and I've been juggling how to make it all work since the end of 2020 more or less, since the OG chapter 59 that kickstarted the 'The Days Before' arc. I dunno if this twist will work, if it was actually obvious this was coming to everybody, or if it'll be too random and land like a cannon ball on a lake.

In any case, whether the implications this has for the plot and Keru's actions from now on are clear or not, whether this was a decent payoff for this Mind Dive mini arc, the tone has been set. I hope those reading now can at least catch a glimpse of where this is heading to, and why the conflicts of views and objectives will occur.

That's all on my end, sorry for the rant. Updates might be few and far between as I work on some sidestories, IRL stuff has me without much free time lately. But any new chapters for my stories will come out during Sundays from now on whenever it is they're ready for posting.

As always, thanks for reading. Stay safe.

Zuoriel