"I take it Bayliss didn't want to come with you?" Abby looked up from the latest file in her hands and glanced towards Kay, sighing. "He's still having trouble with this, isn't he?"
"Wouldn't you?" I asked. "Your first red-ball, you never close it and fourteen years later, this happens? What are the odds of that?"
"Next to none," said Abby, "But that's beside the point. How was he when you left?" Kay shrugged.
"Don't know," she replied, "He wouldn't talk to me. He just keeps looking at that note like something's going to jump out at him."
"Let's hope something does," I said dryly, "God only knows we could use something other than that sketch. He's probably seen it and changed already."
"I wouldn't put it past him." Kay sighed and slid into the empty seat beside Abby, tapping her fingers on the table surface. "I've got a bad feeling, though."
"About what?" I asked, looking up from the file in my own hands and glancing in her direction. "We're doing fine so far, considering."
"I know that," said Kay "But that's not what I'm talking about. I mean that guy that was watching us. Who was he?"
"No idea," said Abby. "I've never seen him before...you think he could be working for whoever we're looking for?"
"That's a possibility," I said, suddenly uncomfortable with the direction this conversation was taking. "Maybe there's more than one of them."
"That would explain the number of murders both times around, but who would be stupid enough to do something like this?" Kay asked.
"Any number of people," I told her, "You'd be surprised. In fact, if this guy does have someone working for him, it might be the same person who shot me and Meldrick."
"How'd you know?" The startled look that crossed her face at this remark told me that she'd known all along there had been an accomplice, and I stared at her in disbelief.
"You knew?" I demanded. "You knew and you didn't say anything?" Kay sighed, running a hand through her hair before answering.
"Gee told me not to," she said. "We looked for the other guy for days...by the time you woke up, we were convinced he'd left Baltimore. Now, you gonna tell me how you knew there was a second guy, or what?"
"That dream I had the other night," I admitted. "It...it was the scene in the Box. When Meldrick and I almost ended up killing Collins." It was the first time that any of us had spoken our main suspect's name aloud, and I paused for a moment before continuing. "He...he mentioned something about there being a second guy."
"Wow." Abby leaned back in her seat, a look of disbelief on her face as well as she shook her head. "Shows how much dreams can tell you, huh?"
"It's not exactly something I'd be willing to go through again, considering," I told her mildly. "I hadn't ever thought about it until that night."
"There are a lot of things none of us have thought about until now," said Kay, before Abby could reply. "It's only going to get worse."
She was right about that, even though I highly doubted things could possibly get any worse than they already were. And that was without this new development and the nightmares that had been bothering me since it all began. Abby pushed at my foot under the table and when I looked up at her, the expression on her face was one of concern.
"You all right?" she asked. I nodded absently, reaching across the table for the file that she was still holding, and starting to go through it before she had the chance to continue on. She gave me a look, waiting until Kay got up and walked off before saying anything else.
"Don't you dare start giving me the runaround now," she said in an undertone, so that no one else could hear us. "What's really going on with you?"
"Nothing's going on with me," I replied. "It's just that stupid nightmare. I'll get over it."
"That's what you said last time." The annoyed look that had crossed Abby's face had changed again, and she reached out, taking one of my hands in both of her own. "Talk to me."
"There's nothing to talk about," I replied, without looking her in the eye. "Really, Abby, there's nothing to worry about."
She gave me a skeptical look, but didn't let go of my hand. I knew what she was thinking. It was the same thing that Kay had asked the night we discovered our fifth victim. I couldn't blame either one of them for wanting to know...especially since I had already started to doubt myself.
"You should take your gun to the precinct," Abby said finally, quietly, and in that instant, all of it came flooding back.
The news had been predicting thunderstorms ever since last week, but they'd been wrong until that night. The power had gone out just as the clocks had struck nine o'clock, and I'd lost track of how much time had passed. I'd left my watch downstairs in the kitchen, where Abby and Rose were, and I didn't feel like going back to get it. It was too dark for me to see, anyhow, even with my glasses, so I remained where I was. The sound of thunder made me jump every few seconds, as did the flashes of lightning that came along, lighting the room up when they did.
Six files sat spread out on the bed in front of me. I couldn't see any of them, but I knew who was in each one. The one closest to me was the case that had started it all. The others had followed. All of the names were in red under my own in the board. I was seriously starting to wonder then whether or not it'd be worth it to stay in Homicide after all of this was over, but I didn't want to think about it, so I managed to shove that thought to the back of my mind.
"Oh, for God's sake, Abby, watch where you're going!" Rose's voice drifted up towards me, half-annoyed and half-amused. I listened, having nothing better to do.
"It'd be easier if I wasn't holding a baby, you think?" Abby sounded as if she were this close to laughing as she continued on. "Where'd John take off to?"
"No idea. I think he might've left, and I'm gonna kill him if he did, have you seen what it looks like out there?"
"It's hard not to notice when the power's out. All we can see out there is that damned storm." Silence fell. I wondered for a few seconds if either of them would come up to look for me, but when I didn't hear footsteps, I knew they weren't going to. I wanted them to, though...but at the same time, I was relieved that they hadn't.
"We should probably get the girls to bed." Rose remarked finally, and even though I wasn't downstairs with them, I could see Abby rolling her eyes.
"I hardly think it matters," she said dryly, "Not like either of them are old enough to go to school."
"That's beside the point," came the reply, "It's what, nine-thirty, maybe ten? The last thing I want to do is deal with irritable kids tomorrow."
"It is," Here, Abby paused, and it was obvious that she was looking at her watch, just to annoy Rose. "Exactly eleven o'clock."
Two hours. Two long hours. Time I could have spent looking for something, anything, that would help the shift break this case, and instead I was sitting there in the dark because of some thunderstorm. Six murders that hadn't been solved, and so far, all anyone could do was assume that we were doing something wrong.
"I'm starting to get kind of worried now." Abby's voice broke into my thoughts for a second time, and I looked towards the doorway, still hoping that neither of them would come up, though I still hadn't figured out why.
"Oh, for heaven's sake, Abby, I'm quite sure he can take care of himself."
"Look who's talking. You're usually the one who's always worrying about everyone."
"I really don't feel like arguing with you right now, Abby, can this wait until the lights go back on?"
"Doesn't look like that's going to happen anytime soon."
"So I guess we won't be talking anytime soon." Again, there was silence. Lightning flashed, and when it did, I caught sight of my gun, lying there on the bedside table. Before I even realized I'd moved, I was holding it.
"You know what, I'm going to go upstairs and try not to kill myself, because this is really starting to bother me."
""Abby, for God's sake, leave John alone. He's probably asleep."
"Yeah, right. The last time he slept is when you practically forced those sleeping pills down his throat."
"He told you that?"
"He doesn't have to tell me that, it's obvious. All you have to do is look at him." Footsteps sounded in the hall leading to the stairwell.
"If you go up there and he really is asleep, I'm going to kill you if you wake him up, Abby."
"Do you really think I'm that stupid? The way things have been going, he'd probably wake up and shoot me."
"I wouldn't blame him for it, either."
"What happened to not wanting to argue with me?"
"I changed my mind. And I mean it, Abby, if he's sleeping, you'd better not wake him up."
I had half a mind at this point to just pretend that I really was sleeping, just to get them to leave me alone. The gun was heavy in my hands. I stared at it for a long moment as lightning came again and then did something I had never thought I'd end up doing. And just as I did, the door to the room I was in came flying open.
"One good reason," I told her quietly as she stood there, just staring at me. "You give me one good reason, and I swear to God I'll forget about this."
"Put the gun down." came the reply. Even in the darkness, I could see that the look on her face was one of fear. I couldn't blame her, especially not considering what I was this close to doing.
"No." I said. "Not until you give me a reason why I shouldn't just end all of this now."
"Let's see," Abby said, and I could hear her sarcasm returning. "How about the fact that you're the primary on this case?"
"That's the problem," I told her. "I can't…I can't do this anymore, Abby. All those names in red…."
"Are gonna end up getting this guy a needle in his arm when we nail him," came the reply.
"Don't you mean if?" I moved my arm, and I could see her jump, but I was beyond caring. She remained where she was, but continued.
"No, I mean when." she said. "Come on. Don't do this. Put the damn gun down, lock it up or something…forget about this."
"Forget?" I demanded. "How the hell am I supposed to forget? Do you not see these files? This…this is probably the best thing I could do right now."
"Damn it, Abby, I told you not to go up there and wake him up!" Rose's voice came drifting up towards us, sounding more annoyed than anything else. Abby looked in the direction of the sound before turning back to me, still looking upset.
"There," she said, "You see? There's a perfectly good reason. You go and off yourself, there's gonna be no one to fix things when they get screwed up between me and Rose, and then what, huh? But hey, maybe twenty-odd years of being friends doesn't mean anything to you. You wanna kill yourself to get away from this mess, that's on you. I'm not going to stop you. But I'm not going to stop Rose running up here to see you with a bullet in your head, either, so you think about that."
Thunder cracked loudly in the distance. The sound of someone crying caught my attention suddenly; I looked towards Abby, but it wasn't her. It was me. The gun fell from my grip, thankfully not going off as I leaned forward, hiding my face in my hands. And then Abby was there, sitting next to me, reaching out with tentative arms to hug me, as if she thought I'd push her away. I didn't. If I hadn't wanted her there before, I wanted her there now; had she not walked in, I had the feeling that I would have ended up pulling that trigger.
We sat there in silence for a long while after that, the only sounds coming from the storm raging outside. What seemed like forever passed before Abby spoke again.
"You have got to talk to someone about this." I could tell by her voice that she'd been crying as well, even if I hadn't heard her, and it only made me feel worse as she continued. "How long were you gonna wait, huh? What if no one had come up here?"
I didn't answer, but my silence seemed to tell her what I was unwilling to say. She sighed, pushing me backwards so that she could look me in the eye.
"I'm taking this," she said, picking up the gun and fixing it so that the safety was on. "You can have it when you go back to work. I don't give a damn what Rose says, I'm going to headquarters, and I'm gonna make second shift keep an eye on it."
"And if I leave when you two are sleeping and get it?"
"You'd better hope you kill yourself with the first shot, because if you don't, I'll do it for you."
Her response told me that she wasn't as upset as she had been barely ten minutes ago; neither was I, for that matter. I couldn't believe that I had actually come that close to doing something like that. Abby let go of me, then, and I looked at her.
"You think I'm crazy now, don't you?" I asked. She eyed the gun in her hands and then looked at me, shaking her head.
"I think this case is getting to be a bit much for all of us," she replied. "I just…God, do you have any idea how scared I was watching you like that? If I expected anyone to go that far, I thought it would be me."
Silence fell again, and before I could reply, the lights came on, and Rose appeared in the doorway, holding a sleeping Michelle, and glaring at Abby.
"I left Liana downstairs, she fell asleep….and what the hell are you doing with that gun?" she said.
"Nothing," Abby replied, without looking me in the eye. "I was about to take it on over to headquarters."
"Oh, no you're not," said Rose, That storm is still going." Abby rolled her eyes.
"I think I've lived long enough to know how to drive in a storm, and besides that, I don't think we need any guns in this house right now."
She rose to her feet and walked off; when we heard a door slamming, we knew it was her leaving. Rose shifted Michelle in her arms and sighed.
"I swear to God, she is the most stubborn person in the world," she muttered. "Any idea what that was all about?"
I shook my head, not wanting to tell her what Abby had walked in on and what I'd almost done.
"Couldn't tell you," I said. "She was probably afraid it'd go off or something." Rose rolled her eyes.
"The only way that damned thing is going to go off is if someone pulls the trigger." She shifted Michelle again and looked at her watch. "It's two in the morning. You should probably get some sleep."
She turned to go, closing the door behind her. I looked down at the files still spread out before me on the bed before closing them all, and turning off the lights. Abby had been right. I did need to talk to someone…anyone, really, even if it was only her and Rose. That much had been proven by what had almost happened.
I heard footsteps in the hallway and closed my eyes as the door opened again, knowing that it was Rose coming to see whether or not I'd taken her seriously. She seemed to be satisfied; a few seconds later, the door closed again, and I opened my eyes.
I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. That much was a given. Too much had happened in the short span of forty-five minutes for me to even think about it. So I didn't. Instead, I stared up at the ceiling, watching the shadows, silently thankful that Abby had somehow known to come look for me…had somehow known to come and save me from myself.