A/N: The introductory scene for this chapter would be the prologue to the sidestory 'Before Light's Out'.
I was on the fence about whether to place this here to give some clarity, since it probably will take some time for me to finish and start posting any side content. While the prologue will be expanded in its proper story, I hope the added context helps a bit.
While I don't think it will appease those who are dissatisfied with the direction the story took and I admit that my portrayal of Yuuko is sub-optimal, being generous, I feel like this has to be placed here for the moment. Once I get to posting Before Light's Out, I'll remove the prologue from this chapter and link to that sidestory instead. That means this chapter doesn't do much for the plot at large. I know the pacing went to play Faraway Dawn, and there's nothing more to say than sorry to those who find reading this a chore, I guess.
Also, this chapter contains passages that hint at substance abuse. I don't think it's that bad, there's no violence or anything, only mentioned in passing, but just in case. There's also clear discrimination and some sexist slurs, so proceed with caution. And no, I do not support the strong worded attitudes depicted in the story.
As always, thanks for reading and sorry for the drag. Stay safe.
Zuoriel
Chapter 87:
Pulling and Being Pulled
December, 2001. Unlimited Timeline.
(Yokohama Base. Yuuko's office.)
Slightly to the left, she spins in her seat. Eyes closed, basking in the silence. As if a thin thread was tied to her neck, holding her breathing hostage, the scientist cannot truly relax. Not that she was wishing to, not that she looked for such comfort.
Barely opening her eyes, reddening eyes, scanning her office… the office that would no longer be hers in but a few hours, echoes and stitches replayed in her mind. All the towers of papers, all those nights of work, all those equations fixed and erased and fixed who knows how many times over…
"…All for nothing," she whispers, looking at an empty hand before it raises to claw at air, to hold nothing within its palm. Void as her stomach, the gesture collapses in apathy as she continues to spin in slow motion, slumped into the seat.
Unable to muster any anger at all, carefully resting her hands on the desk, one good breath she takes before standing up. Grabbing a few folders and placing them on an open suitcase, grabbing both mugs she always used, dragging her feet, feeling as if walking upon scorching sands, the scientist allows herself a last look at the office by the door before flicking the switch off.
From behind the mask, within the shell, a minute quiver tries to emerge on her lips. Thoughts of what could have been, of where she had gone wrong swirl, boil in her mind, overloading it, rough strokes of pain in the back of her head. The quietness that comes after utter defeat, the unbearable silence, the unblinking pondering… and the echoes, the echoes of the wound that remains open made the sight a torture, you'd understand. Inhaling sharply, the hair on her nape standing on edge, she shakes her head. And thus, she turns off the lights, leaving the place.
Small, short steps towards the elevator, towards the exit. Whatever tincture is brewing within, whatever lies buried in the cyclopean depths of her guilt makes Yuuko release an extensive and slow sigh, body slouching forward, downward. I believe it is quite fair to affirm part of her is glad to be leaving. To be able to leave the whispers behind, to not be forced to remain static in this place filled to the brim with regrets.
Inhaling is painful, as if all of her teeth were piked by cavities and she had just attempted to drink warm coffee. Feeling contraction, as if her ribs were actually pressing themselves closer and closer to her lungs with each exhalation, to crush whatever faint beats that yet remain in her heart, to choke them as a noose would now that the floor is crumbling all around her.
Running a hand over her eyes, trying to hammer the mask into her face, to rivet the nails of composure upon her features, it did little to aid her breathing, her steps, or the nauseating hammer on the back of her head. So she slows down, pressing her palm over her eyes, groaning, feeling her features dry, her eyes burning. Shaking, oh, so subtly.
"…Sensei, are you alright?" An unexpected voice asks, low, making her flinch.
Looking up through the fingers clinging to her face, she sees the one who was not supposed to be, who now was grimacing as if he had just been stabbed right in the gut. The proof her theory had been right all along, the proof she herself had failed to bring it to fruition, that was what he meant for her at the moment.
It hurts, looking at the cadet, at his worried grimace.
It aches, thinking on what could have been should she have met him months earlier.
It burns, pondering what she could have been achieved if only she had a bit more time.
And finally, it ravishes her insides, recalling what she forced upon him in her pain. How she felt after waking up drenched in sweat and other sticky fluids, barely able to move her limbs due to the hangover, unable to fully close her legs due to the soreness, and unable to stop the shaking as she started remembering what she had done as the lingering vanilla scent he had left imprinted in the sheets made nest within her nose.
So she shakes her head, sighing hard. "You shouldn't be here, Shirogane. Upper brass doesn't know of your security pass being different, remember?" Yuuko wearily reminds, ruffling her messy, entangled, unwashed hair. At the least, there was one person she did not need to pretend around. A small, tiny comfort on this ruinous day for her soul.
The cadet frowns, taking a step closer. "Whatever. So… A-Are you leaving for real?"
"…Yes. Alt V command decided my aid is of paramount importance. And… well, that's all you need to know." Looking down, away from his worry, she bites her lips. Frustrated, not at the situation but at her weakness. To have released such cruel truths upon the boy, when he was only trying to support her as she drowned her despair in alcohol, unable to look at reality in the face.
"That's just… Come on, there has to be something…" Wincing, hands shaking, he denies, he rebels, he rejects. So he seeks her eyes, slicing the air with a sharp gesture. "This base was super important, right? Why can't you stay here and-"
"Shirogane," she steps closer to him, a hand slowly, hesitantly reaching upwards. A second of stalling, instead of going for his face the scientist grabs the cadet's shoulder. "It's alright, this is how things work. Just… do what you can, and forget what we spoke of that night."
Grimacing, the cadet shakes his head, never leaving her eyes. "But Alternative V doesn't exactly guarantee our survival, right? I mean… I don't…"
"You do what you can, you now know what… will come. You have time to act, to think things through." As I should have done when Yokohama fell, she admonishes within, the grip on his shoulder tightening. "Time's cruel, but it can also be forgiving. Healing at some points, even. But-"
"That all depends on what we make of it," still frowning, he finishes.
Surprised for a second, the scientist nods, releasing his shoulder. "Indeed. And none of this is your responsibility, so do not mull over it so hard. Get commissioned, learn to fight, and maybe… things will change for your future, Shirogane."
"…And what about you?" Leaning closer, he inquires.
So the scientist holds his gaze in silence for a moment. "…I'm leaving on my own volition, this is a burden I have to shoulder as the head of the prior project. But you… you have nothing to do with this." And I won't allow them to lay their hands on you, Yashiro, or anyone else, she swears to herself, knowing what would be of the cadet should his existence as a dead man were noticed by HC. "So go back to the barracks after I leave, don't mention how I called you to meet me, don't stand out. And don't ever come back to this floor." Uttering not another word, she hurriedly walks past the cadet, eyes bolted forward.
Yet, after she got to the elevator, she hears his steps chasing after her. "Is there anything I can do to help you, Sensei?" He asks, out of air and aware of his heartbeats despite not enduring any physical exertion.
Folding a sigh, she tries to muster, to forge some steel, some of the imposing tone she employed at times. "…Can you operate a PC like I do to help my research?"
"Well, no…"
"Can you help in the calculus I need to make?" Looking back at him, she sees the cadet clawing at his palms, sharpening his teeth against one another. "Do you know anything about engineering? Of how to manufacture machinery? Electronics?" She waits, yet his gritting and shaking only invigorate. It hurts, it sends a myriad of arrows into her throat. "…You can't, you've no skills to aid me, Shirogane. So don't worry, there's no point in lamenting the failure of another," I'm just reaping what I sowed, so the scientist keeps admonishing herself, shaking her head, unrelenting in the blames she places upon her person. "And moreover, you already… helped me enough, that day." Allowing a moment of honesty as the doors open, she then heaves another sigh.
Unable to truly express how much the cadet's company, his honest words of praise and encouragement had done to keep the scientist from hurting herself that night, how he broke her fall into a seemingly endless cesspit of despair.
He says nothing, she steps into the elevator. The scientist remains looking to the walls, not turning around.
"Is there really… nothing I can do for you?" He asks, low, cracking.
Her hand grips the briefcase as intensely as her teeth hail upon her bottom lip, a self-imposed reminder not to give in. Yet, as if choking on smoke, as if swallowing needles, tearing her throat and filtering blood into her lungs, her chest tightens. So, lips twisting, Yuuko looks back.
"…Shirogane?"
"Yes?" Immediately looking up and alert, he gazes into the reddening eyes.
"Yashiro," she asks, something crushing her heartbeats into stillness for a second.
Takeru then nods, saluting her firmly, understanding the request. And right before the door to the elevator closes, the scientist can discern the faint drops welling on the corner of his eyes, the minute shaking on the hand that remains bolted by his head in one last showing of respect and support. The small twitch of his throat, of his lips, the same defeated expression she engraved in him while blurting cruel truths upon him that night.
The elevator whirs to life, beginning its ascend. Slowly allowing her back to crash against the wall, Yuuko remains looking down, unmoving. Mouth a bit open, fingers and arms limp, what currents of thoughts had flown in the scientist were now frozen, molded into a square, an unmoving, unchanging state.
"At least I might be able to device a warning by working on the ML-Engine for the G-Bombs, I guess," she reassures out loud while embracing herself, trying to compress her figure, not truly believing her own words.
Donning the mask, molding her inner feelings deep within, she steps out of the elevator. Ready to leave Yokohama Base, back to the IRI's facilities in Sendai.
As it were, those of the Fifth Project did not trust in her, at all. They desired full access to the spoils of Yokohama, the Reactor, and having her near would be detrimental despite the prospect of cooperation. Thus, locking her service behind the eventual pass for herself, granting her family a seat in the migrant fleet the more she produced results was the condition, the main one, the UN imposed onto the scientist. To that end, to avoid any rebellious ideas from taking hold in her mind, the IJA was discarded due to the eventual reshuffle of the Valkyries and their Instructor into the Fuji Corps, into the Wardog Battalion. So, in a show of cooperation, in a bid to gain stability, the US allowed Yuuko to be handled by the IRG as she was before she took charge of Alt IV in Yokohama. Sharing some spoils would, for the moment, placate the nobility and perhaps prevent their desire to spark an incident in the face of a, quite forceful and one-sided, reinstatement of the US-Japan Security Treaty.
It all would happen in but a few hours, and by then Yuuko would once more be forced to wear the black dress of the IRG as she was when forwarding her thesis at age sixteen. Back to square one, only with no prospect of support, knowing no rope would be coming to soften her fall.
Guided by the MPs as the wind howls around them, no one returns her gaze, no one even dares to look her way. Smiling wryly, she chuckles at the sight.
No interruptions are found on the way out, and only a small retinue of the prior crew of the base is standing in wait near the carrier on the runway. CO Radhabinod, 2nd Lt Pyatkh, a few of her engineers and fellow researchers, and all of the Valkyries besides Sgt Jinguuji grow stiff and salute her, gaze locked upwards, away from hers.
Again, the nails pierce her jaw, the skin below her ears as she merely passes them by, enduring the strain. All of them remain stoic, the formality required in their postures and gazes never breaks. Yet, the cracks are evident in their eyes, the cold seeping through them, the light squeezed out as they stood in petrification. Not even her best friend has the valor to break protocol, despite the quake in her knees and hands. Not even a whisper does she extends to the scientist, whose heart and shoulders sink a tiny bit more. She was not expecting it, but perhaps she had wondered whether anyone would extend a simple parting word.
"So only Shirogane, huh. The one that shouldn't exist, the one I've been with for the less time…" she muses, giving a faint, warped smile.
And with just a nod, and a few pleasantries from the new authorities, Yuuko slowly steps forward into the carrier. The shadows falling upon her sight, as if something had spread wings to envelop her whole, or as if she was again drunk like she was on Christmas. Walking on automatic, slumping onto a seat as the doors to her VIP room close, she still looks upwards in a daze before simply collapsing face first into the cushioning bed.
"At least those two will be safe…"
Sinking, sinking, just a little bit more every day.
Buildings falling inwards into a trench, to the bottom of the sea, obstructing all light.
"-and as such, the overuse of the engine could-" her voice drone on, trying to lift her gaze, only finding unfocused eyes, faces lacking any and all emotion or expression in the vast conference room, all over the seats present.
"But where is the proof?" A man asks, frowning at the papers she had crafted so thoroughly.
Slowly inhaling, swallowing the brine, she nods and points to the right papers. "As you can see in the graphs obtained during my stay in Yokohama-"
"That was only an unpolished model of the G-Bomb," a woman dismisses while tapping her glasses, brushing her short dark hair. "I sincerely doubt such a large scale reaction could occur by simultaneous detonations."
Chin lowering in, unable to meet their eyes, a stutter in her lips prevents the words from flying as they normally would. "The readings of the second detonation show a twenty three percent increase in its expected radius, the scans done in Ground Zero shortly after the mission and throughout last year do indicate that-"
Her voice continues seeking, the gazes simply cast lazily over the papers. As her diagrams on the possible distortion of gravity appears on the large screen behind her, a sudden shout makes her quiver for a moment, a researcher from Boening storms from his seat to curse aggravations. While the scientist speaks the truth and nothing but the truth, her results, the veracity of them, only serves to add fuel to the fire.
"There is no proof!" The man shouts, eyes red as he points at Yuuko. "All the testings done thus far have confirmed the safety of the G-Bomb. Your claims are nothing but baseless slander!"
"Then, why have our readings on Ground Zero been rejected thus far? I am not decrying your own research, I'm only showing the results obtained during my stay in Yokohama and the conclusions I've drawn from them," she presses, taking a step forward and giving a wide stare at the room at large.
The man seethes, waving down at her while his features contort as if smelling bodily decay. "Again, the G-Bombs used in the Yokohama Hive were prototypes. All the testings done since then have granted conclusive results over the safety of the engine and its null collateral damage."
"As far as I'm aware, you're only testing one engine at a time," she says, sighing, straightening her dark dress. "That is why I am requesting you to test multiple in unison, due to the anomaly that our readings captured during Lucifer and my preliminary calculus over the ML-Engine."
The man scoffs as he sits down, his weight causing wailing in the seat. "Heh, are you aware of the cost attached to such intensive testing, with how precious our reserves of G-Elements are? To jeopardize the production schedule over a single reading? Guess we should rework the entire delivery system because one truck was delayed yesterday."
"…Perhaps, if you actually analyzed the readings, you'd arrive at the same result. Unless, of course, there is something you're not disclosing about the lasting effects of the G-Radiation," she spit out, wanting to rid herself of the cold lump in her throat, of the vines constricting her limbs.
"Professor, I believe falling to insults is only an admission of your lack of arguments," a man with crimson hair tells, grinning. "I do find it quite farfetched, your angle of attack. While simultaneous detonations in the nearby area are a fair concern you've proven, to claim such an effect could extend to other locations in Babylon is nothing but fear mongering," he concludes with a nod, a vain and smug smirk.
"Indeed," the woman from before quickly chains in, glaring at Yuuko, "there is simply no way the effect of a G-Bomb will leave the place where it's detonated. It has been proved the radiation only affects the radius and its adjacent area, and nothing else. Frankly, to you say the gravity's distortion could grow despite the sheer distance between hives is nothing but madness."
Nods and whispers soon follow, gazes narrowing, postures facing away from her all over the expansive room, brows that fall and cross, sighs in tandem with eyes rolling. Her hands begin to shake despite the pleasant lukewarmness of the room, chin almost hitting her neck as the tide of not-so-subtle whispers reach her ears.
"What a hysteric bitch. Can't believe she's still rambling about this, I thought she had learned her lesson."
"She's delusional, what the hell. Expansive world-wide gravitational anomalies? The G-Bombs barely even affect the nearby area around their detonation. Why was such a psycho put in charge of the prior project?"
"Did you see that rack? Probably sold a night to some important seats in the Empire to skip the ladder."
"I heard she was a minor when she was admitted in the project, actually."
"What did you expect of the japs? They do have a taste for unripe fruit, if you know what I mean."
"Ew, gross. Still, how immature, really. I expected more from the famous Professor Kouzuki, not this bitchy tantrum."
"Why doesn't she bring her super quantum thing to explain the radiation issue? Oh, right. It was a fucking waste of money."
"I bet there was some laundering involved there, and in how over the top Yokohama was built. How much do you think she got paid?"
"I'm more frustrated with how she insists on opposing the project if she doesn't get her way. She's just being cunt to flip us off at this point."
"I'd like to disagree, but it is women like her which give the rest of us a bad reputation. I wonder how many times she bent over to get this meeting approved."
"T-The distortion issue-" she chokes, knees bolted, pain slicing her legs. "There is a detailed effect that lingers in the air, an impediment to the equipment used to record the readings. And said same effect left our vessels unable to properly communicate with the troop during the minutes that followed the bombing," she states, hurrying to showcase the proper documents.
Right she is, as the side effect she has proven to exist is what will send the HSST fleet of Babylon to their doom, forever ruining the Earth with magnetic interference. Despite the nails which pierce her flesh, the quiver of her wrist as if it were snowing, she tries and conveys it all as simply as possible, so that it digests easily and without a hint of malice or ill will from her end. Yet the apathy, the frowns, the smirks which her gaze receives only makes hers collapse as once more harsh taps hit the presented papers, more whispers put her integrity under the microscope, and others openly belittle her while using her research as a coaster for their drinks of choice.
Sink and sink. Below the waves, further beyond the sea, light becoming ever distant. Her lungs ache, now unable to properly search those gazes, heaviness claiming her back and innards, bolting her in place.
Cutting off in the middle of the explanation, the members of the Security Council stand up in hurry and call off the meeting. The rest of the retinue from different avenues of the UN also stand as if their seats were flaming, shooting glares at the scientist, throwing the papers she had worked for nights on end without rest to the floor, stepping on them, some with evident pungency and deriving a thrill from the vacant gaze Yuuko endows to prevent anger to surface. Like mannequins, expressionless in a blur they pass her by. Some order about ceasing on the futility reaches her ears for a moment, she barely musters a nod in acknowledgment out of formality.
Slowly, she bends down and starts picking up the pages, one by one. The ones that were crumpled into a ball, the ones thrown to the floor in dismissal, the ones stepped on purposely. Tenderly grasping each with only her fingertips, as if they were each a small shard of glass, a recently unearthed relic. It takes her a moment to gather them, until only one remains. Yet as a hand reaches out for it, a well-lustered shoe steps on the paper.
The page breaks in half as she pulls, a small shiver runs through her veins, freezing her in place. There is no anger, no fire surging from the empty stomach, from the dried lips. Only a sigh, a frown as she looks up.
"…Listen, Kouzuki," the man with crimson hair whispers, still daring to smirk down at the scientist, "there is little to be done about this. Even if you decry Alt V, their decision is already set. They'll only think you're lashing against your prior rivals."
"Lift your shoe from my research," she says, glaring, low.
He sighs, throwing his hair backwards. "Please, listen to reason. You're wasting your talent, you should see how fruitless your work thus far has been. Why not honestly support the project, join our team?"
"Lift your shoe, Eberbach," she threatens, allowing her teeth to be seen, a primal reaction, a last meager vestige of impulse.
"Me and my men lobbied to grant you this meeting, out of our mutual distaste for Alt V, and yet you've dashed our efforts with your attitude. Is this how you will treat your allies, Professor?" He asks, smirking, pressing his shoe further into the paper as if stomping on a small spider.
Jaw clenches, she looks down. Slowly exhaling, a small, minute nod follows. "Please, let me pick up my research."
"See? It isn't that hard to not be a bitch, Kouzuki," he states, still daring to smirk.
The shoe leaves the page which she immediately picks up and places on her stack. Hugging the research papers for dear life to her chest, the scientist stands in a hurry and tries to return to her desk, yet the man blocks her way.
Patting her shoulder, leaning closer, he whispers. "They'll never listen to you. It was the same with me when I suggested the French frontline to be reinforced, you cannot change anything from the outside."
She turns away, grimacing. "…Thanks, but I will manage on my own. I only need to present conclusive proof, once my work on the ML-Engine bears fruit-"
"They won't let you near one, if you remain in opposition," he affirms, chuckling as he again traces her shoulder and backside with his fingertips. "Your prior research met a dead end, but this doesn't need to be your end. Are you sure you don't want our aid? Prominence might have little support as of now, yes, but together maybe we-"
Stuffing her research into a briefcase in a rush, some edges of the papers sticking out, she edges away, knowing lashing out would only cause further issues, only allowing herself to bite her lips. "My research was not mistaken, of that you can be certain." Otherwise, where the hell did Shirogane come from? Where did those images Yashiro showed me came from? Where did that Game Guy machine came from? I am not mistaken, I only didn't manage to circumvent the limitations of the current hardware.
"I see… I do concede you are one of a kind, Professor. If you wish to see the fruits of your research be taken seriously, some compromises are unavoidable." Gaining a smirk upon the petrification which follows as he once more trails her shoulder and arm, the man nods at the her, undaunted as he seeks direct eye contact. "I'm sure you don't desire to surrender to becoming the Whore of Babylon. Certainly, your efforts deserve better than this sorrowful ending. My phone is always open for you, I'll be anxiously awaiting your call, Kouzuki," he says with light cheer, daring to slap at her bottom while chuckling.
Shaking as her hands coil, she remains still while glaring at the man, who winks and waves back before departing. As the door once more closes, as the shaking resumes and overtakes her being, she tries to order, to arrange her papers once more. To put everything in its proper place, to honor the research she had started, she had inherited so many moons ago. However, it doesn't take long for the detachment of the Imperial Guard to enter the room.
A slim man garbed in burgundy smirks, giving a bow. "It is time for our departure, Professor."
"I am arranging my papers, Cpt Makabe," she states, not looking at him, chin still pointed down, shoulders sagging.
"My apologies, but we must be going shortly since there is another meeting to come in this room. Due to the extended duration of your speech, we are already tardy as it is. If you dally too much, I'm afraid I'll have to report this to-"
"Stop, I- I'll be ready in a moment. Just give me a minute."
He smiles, bowing. "Just a minute, then. By the by, since I assume your presentation was met with rejection," he stops as she glares, trying to rise her chin, to stand straight, a lone tree braving a typhoon, "perhaps, could I suggest you to seek my Regent's support? With us as your patrons, your words could gain a new weight for the UN."
"I cannot entangle anyone in-"
"If you produce no results, certainly, consequences will follow, for both the Empire and your own goals," he states, never losing the insufferable smirk. "We are in agreement towards our views of the Fifth Project, why not collaborate in our efforts? I believe we have treated you well in Sendai."
She hurriedly stuffs her papers, choking on blazing charcoal as she knows they're out of order, as she sees them bend and twist within the briefcase before she slams it close. "This is not the time nor the place…" clawing at the grip of her case, at the laptop she had brought, she rushes away, gaze locked on the floor.
And yet, her steps wane eventually. Collapsing to a mere stroll, stalked by the Imperial Guards. Knowing there is nowhere to run, joining her wrists as if wearing handcuffs, gaze lost and vacant as she slumps her way back to the carrier, back to Sendai, back to the prison, to the silence.
Once she regains consciousness, it becomes hard for her to know how much time had passed. Unable to gain approval to go outside, she simply paces to the lab, eating in it while standing, delivering a daily report, returning to her quarters and slumping into her bed without getting under the sheets, removing her heels or changing her clothes.
Over and over again, time and time again. Enduring the monotony of the closed-off space, the queries, the demands for results. Emptying a small bottle of all its pills, failing to prevent a whirlwind in her stomach from spouting breakfast out of her system. Wobbling to a desk, to dirty her nostrils in white, shivering with each inhalation. Losing her perception of time, reports and failed tests pile on the lab. Growing to despise the chime of a phone that only signaled awful news, growing intimate with the angular plastic seat of the place, falling unconscious on it, the abundant papers acting as a cushion for Yuuko as she slips to the floor in her sleep.
Night by night, a life by the knife, with it on her throat. The reprimands echoing in her ears make her shoulders forget how to raise, scoliosis setting in as the slump in dejection becomes a staple of her daily routine.
"When was the last time someone noticed I ain't eating breakfast?" She thought once as the emptiness in her gut almost sent her to meet the cables of the lab.
Days or weeks? Months already? When was the last time she could leave her prison? Time had lost its meaning, only mattering when she was called to report something in person. Like a dog ordered to do tricks for the amusement of its owner. That same small smile, the gaze that looks down at the restrained being which believes it's free is what meets her gaze, time and again. Realizing she has to work for that praise, for the headpat in approval only serves to rend her spirits further, relenting on some negotiations and petitions if only to see some meager improvement. Unknown to her, the reports she forwarded were actually craved by many as much as fresh water in the desert, held as carefully as a newborn child. It is, perhaps, her own refusal to request aid and the adusted mood which she endows whenever she leaves which isolates her further. It's what makes the excuses of the IRG all the more believable, how 'the Professor does not wish to be disturbed by petty matters not pertaining to her research'. And so long as results continue to appear, and if they can come without forcing an altercation between Yuuko and the researchers from Alt V, the top seats of the UN are more than pacified.
Unlike the dissolving heartbeats in her chest, the arms that rubs her own arms and neck over and over again at times while awaiting the computers to finish the compile.
"When was the last time I talked of anything besides work? When have I done anything other than work?"
Reprimanded when speaking out, dismissed, rejected, forever living in a new moon. Nyx could have very well have cast an eternal night over the scientist, for the routine never breaks. Never, not a single time. Never, not once, did she try to reach out. After all, there were more pressing matters to attend. After all, she could not let her life's work meet its final curtain in such shape
"Am I not actually mistaken here? I mean, why are my readings not lining up? Am I doing something wrong?"
The babel towers of papers grow and grow, yet she now slumps in her seat, not wanting to move.
"After all, I failed and now am meeting the expected result, is all."
Completely loose as she spins, looking up at nowhere, the petition for her to work on the railgun rests on her desk.
"Why did I think I was right all along? Even if you could sense causality… no one can change its nature."
The desire for support lingers as she gulps heavily, wheezing for a second. Knowing it would be a mistake to trust in the IRG as of now, in who desires to be her patron, yet it is that or surrendering to fully cooperating with Alt V. Still, to cling to obstinacy would be a mistake, she thinks.
"Am I sure I didn't imagine Shirogane being there? A dead man walking… as if something like that could happen. Maybe I really am going insane at this rate."
Shoulders sag, with slow movements she grasps a pen with which to place her agreement. Merely extending her arm causes pain to sear at the bottom of her nape, forces her to actually stand. Staring at the paper with half-open lips, resting the tip of the pen onto the line with demands binding, she gives out a long, low sigh, hunching even more.
A knocking disturbs her, flinching and trying to straighten herself. "Who is it?" She asks, almost rasping.
A guard in black enters and salutes. "Professor, ma'am, you have a visitor."
"…A visitor?" She tilts her head, not recalling any appointments. "From where?"
"UN, ma'am."
She frowns, seeing the crimson hair and the smirk in her mind for a moment. "Send him away, I am in no mood to receive him."
"Um, ma'am, the soldier in question has been very adamant in this request. I am loath to admit he shall return at a latter date even if I refuse him once again," the inductee laments, giving a bow in respect.
"A soldier?" Yuuko asks, brows furrowing, blinking fast for a moment.
"Yes, ma'am. He has accompanied the retinues from the UN that have come to receive your reports for a few months, and has requested a meeting with you on every occasion claiming he comes to deliver intel from Yokohama to you," the inductee returns up, straightening himself into petrification, not making eye contact, afraid of disturbing the scientist.
She raises a brow as her lips purse, the description not inciting any face in particular. No one from the Valkyries or her close circle could it be, nor was it that insufferable man since he no longer was a soldier and, with his influence, could attain a meeting with ease instead of having to wait. Interest piqued, she leans forward, her chin onto a hand. "What's the name and grace of this soldier?" She asks, staring.
The guard stiffens, relenting a small nod while gulping. "He identified himself as 1st Lt Shirogane, ma'am. Stationed in Yokohama Base, 4th Armored Battalion, OIC of the Lupine Squadron," he notes, shivering a bit upon her silence. Yuuko merely hums, blinking a few times, wondering if she was dreaming or if he actually existed. Coughing, the man gives a minute bow to the scientist. "The security personnel at the foyer are, well, vexed with his reiterated insistence, and those from the UN's retinue do not seem to keen on reprimanding the man. Please, could you not receive him, if only this time?" He again asks, remaining in position, pressing his arms onto his dress upon the silence.
"1st Lt… Shirogane…" Yuuko says, repeating the words under her breath, a hand raising through her cheek to grasp at some hair. Lips purse, legs meet, eyes close. Inhaling slowly, slower she stands. "Fine, I suppose…"
Allowing herself to be guided towards the place of the meeting, a room divided by glass with a small speaker in the middle of it and two chairs on each side. Fitting for a prison such as this damned establishment, I dare say. In equal disgust was he frowning as he strides into the room, ignoring the ill comments from a guard in gray.
"-and if you were to attempt anything to-"
"Dammit, I get it!" He snaps, arms folding, glaring, making the woman take a sudden step back. "You think I'll try to impair the UN's standing here of all places, surrounded by Imperial Guards?"
"I am merely reminding you-"
"Yeah, shove the screams. Any further hostility will be detailed in my report to Yokohama HQ as aggression towards UN personnel," he threatens, in earnest. "I do not recall to have broken protocol so, if you'd be so kind," he smirks while giving half a bow, with a hand swipe exuding drama, "please relent on the pressure, miss. I would hate to give my superiors an unfavorable report. After all, instead of letting us grunts handle these reports, perhaps some higher ranking officers will decide to involve themselves," he says, half in threat, half serious. The small kindling in his eyes, unblinking, is enough of a deterrent to the inflexible demands of the woman. The foolish guard gulps and leaves with another warning, he heaves a sigh and shakes his head.
The searing fire dies down as he looks to his left, meeting the pale, crumbling complexion of the scientist, her sunken cheeks as spirals of shifting sand, the red eyes aiming down as if in apology, a dead serious and almost absent expression. Eyes like fish, still as a pillar, compacting onto herself as if to trim dear space in a hard drive. For a moment, neither says a thing. She stares at him, scolding herself for believing the soldier to have been nothing but a fever dream, noting the sharper angle of his jaw, the usual relax smile absent, and the extension of his unkempt hair that is about to reach his shoulders. He cannot look, the erosion in her features bringing stillness to his thoughts, the downcast posture contrasting with the one he recalls. Except for one particular night which fills him with regret and aching, reprimanding himself for having taken advantage of her weakness.
"…How are you, Sensei?" He asks as he sits, tightly entwining his fingers to dispel his negative thoughts.
"I'm not your teacher, 1st Lt Shirogane," she says, barely, low, without meeting his eyes. "Congratulations on the promotion, I suppose," she raises a wry smile, compacting her shoulders in a shrug. The expression leaves her, her breath is caught in an attempt to escape her throat at his tense frown. Believing to see disappointment, she once more looks down, silent.
"How are you faring?" He asks, leaning closer, lips tight. "You don't look good at all, Sensei."
"I am well, I am well," she states, nodding slowly, not looking up as she idles time on a strand of hair. "I am rather busy so… What would you be needing out of me, 1st Lt?"
Biting his lips for a moment at the docility of the answer, he coughs and clears his throat. "Yokohama HQ is asking for a detailed report on your findings of late, personally from your hands. Some intel was delivered to you a month ago, I think?"
"I see… So you too, now," she whispers, softly joining her hands.
"Huh? What did-"
"You sure climbed the ladder fast, Shirogane," she nods, smiling weakly, chuckling at the apparent success he had found. "I do have the reports at the ready, if you would be so kind to wait a moment," she tells, nodding, almost bowing, tension freezing her complexion. "I shall have an attendant bring them to you, however they are all printed in paper at the moment. Would that be agreeable or would you prefer a digital format for the intel?"
"Yes, sure, in paper is fine… Still, that's not the only reason I'm here," he says, stealing gazes, never finding her eyes, sighing.
"What would you need of me, then?"
"I came here with a proposal from the UN," he affirms, leaning forward while clenching his hands, sighing as he seeks her sight. "Sensei, would you consider returning to Yokohama?"
"…Why? I am… I already have dealt with those discussions," she states, lifting her eyes, facing him with renewed plating. For she knew this conversation was being recorded, that retribution would fall upon her sisters or her only friend should she go against the current. "The leads of the Fifth Project have rejected my findings thus far, and I still would desire time to work on my own. If that is what you're after, I will have to decline the offer."
A frown meets her, it sends shivers down her spine. The same adusted glare, the unblinking fixation of that night, of that Christmas of defeat lingers in the soldier's eyes as he force palms the nearby wood. "Please, be serious. There are concerns about how well you can work in this lab as opposed to back at the base. And a few people told me… you seem to be having a hard time. Looking at you now, you're made a mess."
"I am… lacking time, Shirogane. It's my responsibility to finish what I started," she affirms, before breaking eye contact. "I've no intention to alter the conditions of my duties. Tell that to whoever is using you."
"I came here on my own volition," he affirms, smiling.
"Are you sure you're not being used as a pawn?" She asks, shrugging, venomous, trying to scare him away.
But instead of the usual fidgety attitude she knew in the cadet, the soldier remains smiling. "I am only following your advice, Sensei. I'm making the most out of my time, before it runs out."
"…Is that so. How does being a delivery man help your career? Paying back a favor for the promotion?" She spits out, arms folding, looking away from the shine. Yet, she finds herself staring as he starts to chuckle. At first due to anger, feeling betrayal, the same echoes that trampled her research.
But finding a small, kind smile, a nod as she stares, the old upbeat posture of defiance she knew in him. "I am still on your side, remember? I don't believe I'm completely useless now. I'll have you know the entire base hates my guts," he states with a puff of his chest.
"Why? You… wouldn't still be swimming against the current?"
"Oh, no. I just spin."
"What?"
"I spin, in the TSFs. Haven't lost a single fight yet, so pretty much every squad wants to strike us down," he admits while scratching his head, giving a wry smile. "The new authorities have more or less turned my squad into the grueling trial for fresh cadets. My scores and tactics gained me some recognition, is all."
"I see… Good for you, I suppose," she says, facing away.
"And since I also tend to Kasumi, people have found me useful for contacting you."
"Huh? You… Why?"
"What? You think I'd leave Kasumi alone?" He asks, crossing brows and arms, hurt to some degree by the gaze of befuddlement. "I do concede that I am only a useful pawn, but even a pawn can become something great if it makes it to the other end of the board. Still, my peste- I mean, suggestions have made some high ups see some value in cooperating with you to prevent any intel from being withheld."
"What? What are you talking about?" She asks, leaving her lips parted, slightly slouching to a side.
"Well, that it seems your reports are not sent as is," he notes with a nod. "I caught a glimpse once when I reported to O'Connor-"
"Who?"
"Oh, the new CO. Anyways, he asked me if I knew anything about your research and junk and I noticed then your doodles were not present in the reports our men got," he affirms, giving the evil eye to the guards that stood nearby in watchfulness as their features tightened.
And yet, what makes him flinch is not them but the caustic frown, the slam into the nearby wood the scientist makes. "What do you mean by that? Doodles?"
"You know, those odd symbols you write with."
"Wh- They are not doodles! They're symbols of my-"
"Yeah, cool. Anyways, they're not in the papers," he states, giving a nod. "Did you remove 'em or is something rotten here?"
Crossing her arms, facing away once more, she slowly takes in air. "I… will have to revise my papers, I've been very busy as of late," she says, hoping he'd desist, to avoid the recording to bring him trouble. "And anyways, I do not recall ever letting you in on such topics, Shirogane. Who would have thought you'd be so loose-lipped?"
"…I only talked out of concern, because it's not like you to omit such details," he retorts in sobriety, holding her stare, wincing a bit. "Also, you should know I… can easily draw parallels in your rambles, even if they sound like they come from another world," he says with a smirk, pleased with the wording he practiced to deliver the message.
Yuuko gapes for a second, suddenly desiring the glass to not be present to lunge at his neck and demand answers. The impediment, however, is enough for her to sigh and look away, ponder on the repercussions. With a heavy stomach, she shakes her head. "In any case, your report has been received. I shall tend to my reports more carefully, notify that to the UN. Now, if there's nothing else-"
"Sensei, you haven't answered yet," he complains, pursing his lips a bit. Taking in air, features tightening as his fingers entwine, he looks straight ahead into her eyes. "The UN would like you to return to under their banner, to prevent these issues from repeating themselves. Believe me, they weren't pleased with the repeated negatives I got to meet with you, and," he steals a glare towards the ones watching for a second, "they won't the next report. If you give the agreement, negotiations with the IRG will proceed shortly. I think maybe in a month or so you could-"
"…I will not bend over," she states, clutching, gripping at her thighs, bending her dress, looking down in blazes. "I'll lead my own research, with the paths available to me. Breaking the status quo will only cause further ripples." And I will not bow down and surrender my work to go and slave away at the bombs, not before delivering a proper warning of what will follow Babylon to whoever listens.
"I was under the impression they want you to lead the R&D back at the base," he says, slow, nodding. "That's why I'm here, to see if you'd welcome the notion. And… by the way, are you eating well?"
"That's none of your business…"
"…Please, Sensei. You're looking-"
"I'm not your teacher, you were only a pawn in my project. Nothing more," she says, frozen in place. "Stop it, don't become a target, you idiot. You'll get hurt if you get closer."
"Still, I think that you can't do your best in these conditions," he firmly says, not flinching or looking away, gaze squarely on her features as his lips cascade. "And I am on your side, Sensei."
For a second, she stares. Legs press together as she looks down, she shakes her head. "You shouldn't, there's nothing to be gained."
"At least, I can be a bridge between you and Yokohama for anything you might want to convey. Also, you don't look good at all. How the hell are the Guards treating you here?" He repines, glaring at the men standing behind her, who despite their training find themselves looking away from the ravenous bite of his eyes.
"That's none of your business," she dismisses, shaking her head, turning away from him.
"For real? Come on, Sensei. Look at me, let me explain what the papers-"
"I shall receive the documents and reading them in my free time," she says, supporting herself on the chair as she stands up, looking away. "However, I won't be revising my decision. I… have only one way available to me."
"H-Hey, wait up! I haven't even-"
"Shush. I have work to do, 1st Lt. The reports you're after will be arriving to your hands shortly, so please do wait a moment. Now, if you'd excuse me," she nods, nibbling at the edge of her lips as he calls out when she departs, when she runs away.
Jogging back to the silence of the lab, hugging her sides, she shakes her head while taking short breaths. Rummaging through the papers, a shiver runs down her back as she sees that, in fact, her symbols were present in the pages. Handing the correct folders to the attendant along a glacial glare, so that the soldier can depart as quickly as possible, she starts up the calculus and everything else, sending herself into work. The threat of not delivering present in her mind, of being reduced to an assistant, a mere clerk standing on the side answering requests like an automaton. The threat of having Shirogane sent once again to this place, to garner more attention onto himself. The threat of knowing her reports were being tampered, that she was far more trapped than she believed to be.
The same guard from before enters her lab, leaving the briefcase the soldier had brought, ascertaining the folder had safely reached his hands before departing in quite the hurry like a kitty from a source of water. With heavy steps and a heavier stomach she places her hands on it, lifting it towards the desk, opening it in slow motion. Seeing what inside rests sends a dart into her heart.
A messy drawing, unpolished as it could be. Rectangular shapes to the limbs, twisted circles as the eyes, the colors not remaining under their expected lines. Two figures were in the page, a woman with purple hair and a long lab coat wielding a clunky mug from which steam apparently comes out and a smaller girl garbed in black with two bunny ears carrying a stack of papers almost as tall as herself. Etched in the bottom of the page, a single line so reads: "Please stay safe, Professor. Until we meet again, best of luck. Yashiro."
Soon after, small stains fall upon the page. Only two or three, only that as the scientist's vision blurs, as hiccups devour her shallow breaths, pressing her teeth upon one another enough for it to begin to hurt. The disturbance did not stop as she sees another letter and a small sealed cup. Opening it and finding coffee as she likes it most, instinct takes over and she drinks. The iced coffee replenishes her spirits, the sensation forcing her back to stand straight on its own. As she sits down, she opens the next letter. A small paragraph was all it was, words of encouragement from Kyozuka-san, hoping for Yuuko to remain in good health. Hands shake as she reads, having to stop a times to pinch her nose and breath in sharply.
Finishing her coffee, rubbing her eyes to clear the fogginess which befalls her, she slowly picks up the next report. A detailed proposition to transfer back to Yokohama, to appeal to Alt V command for cooperation due to the rather lackluster results of the current crew stationed in the base. A proposition that was forwarded by Prime Minister Sakaki, before a rather convenient accident forced his departure from the seat. While traversing the text, the scientist once more slumps, seeing only demands, the same demands and results others desire out of her. Until a small update comes up, the rather precarious state of affairs between the IRG and IJA with the UN-US bases regarding the arrangement of the defense lines, a request for Yuuko's opinion on the matter, perhaps for her to intervene in favor of the peacekeeping efforts in the meetings coming from Undersecretary Tamase. It hollows her insides, she shakes her head and throws the papers towards her desk.
Twisting her lips, an odd tincture brews and swirls in her stomach. The difference with the landscape she knew is shocking to the point of almost giving her vertigo. Even with the schedule for the departure of the selected few towards the migrant fleet, it is quite fair to affirm the tensions were rising at an abnormal rate. What took her breath the most was the presence of the RLF, a few attacks and threats made to certain key ministries. And the clerical chorus that would soon follow.
It made her question her sense of time, question how could she even react on her own outside of the lab. The Empire's board has changed much, and she was unaware of it all. Almost dizzy, she stares at the ceiling. Wondering if it wouldn't be easier to just remain here, working and focusing on what she does best instead of again swim in opposition under unknown waters. Perhaps, appeasing the retribution that desired to fall upon the Empire would be the best course of action, what yields the best results in the bigger picture.
As she stands and rubs her legs, sighing and preparing to resume her work, she finds a small box left in the suitcase. Raising a brow at it, Yuuko cannot tell what it could be. It is too small to be food, a data pad would not be left in such a case either. Contact with it makes part of it sink and give out a clicking noise, sending a shiver down her spine. Removing the cloth, a small gray machine meets her eyes, a trinket that should not exist. Sensing something soft meet her fingers, she turns the Game Guy around. A folded note is attached with tape to its backside, which she gently removes and unfolds, beginning to read what in it is written.
"Don't forget to take breaks or you'll get sucked in, Sensei. I left the cartridges in the small pocket of the cover, I hope you find it useful even if only to idle some time every now and then.
And if I didn't get to speak with you, know that me and Kasumi are still on your side! So please do take care of yourself if you're really having a hard time.
If you need anything, don't hesitate to send me a letter and I'll go deliver a package to you in person. The same if you want intel or how the base looks now if your reports are really getting tampered with. I have some good rep now that the squad got a record going in the mock battles, so I can ask about and give you some tidbits of intel if you think the UN can screw you over, too.
And don't worry, Kasumi is safe with me even if her drawings ain't getting any better. Can you believe she still refuses to eat her carrots? She has now taken a liking to chopping my shoulder whenever I try to feed her some, the ungrateful bunny.
Major Marimo-chan also sends you her regards along her battalion. She asked me to tell you that no soldier marches to seek death, that even if you're called names only those who survive and keep pressing on can change the future.
Time can be cruel, but also forgiving. The difference lies in what you do with it. So let's try to make the most out of what we have left, Sensei. Your fight is not over yet, even if we can't stop Alt V there has to be something we can do for the better. And while I can't help at all with your research, I think I'm not entirely useless as I am now. Even if you were right and we're headed to a disaster, I'll do my part properly and brave through it all. I'll despair after I'm dead, doing my share from wherever it is I can help.
So please, don't hesitate to contact me if you need anything at all. Even if it's only to send you more of Kyozuka-san's coffee, let me repay all you did for me.
See you later.
Shirogane"
Simply gripping the Game Guy, she sighs and, for the first time in who knows how long, she begins to chuckle. "You're truly… such an idiot…"
Grabbing the cup, she tries to drink again, only a few droplets reach her tongue even as she shakes it. Slumping again onto the seat, her grasp on the cup falters and makes it fall and roll away, her chin lowers and rests on her shoulders.
"I wonder if he'll really come here if I write him a letter…" she ponders, simply spinning in her chair, licking her lips to savor the taste, slowly pushing the buttons of the turned-off console.
December 5th, 2001. Reversal Timeline.
(Yuuko's room.)
[Yuuko]
From one shoulder to the other, a gentle shaking rustles me. A moment of quietness follows, then yet again something moves my shoulder, a faint voice calls. Squirming under the sheets, hugging the pillow with an arm, my eyelids refuse to open shop.
"Vice Commander… XO Kouzuki, it's time to wake up," Takeru calls, again shaking my shoulder in slow circles, almost like a massage. "I have to go train so I can't stay here much longer… Hey, are you hearing?"
"Mmh… Yeah…"
"Oh, cool. Your coffee and the lunch are over there," he says, lowering his voice, retracting his hand. "I left a note with the calls you received on your desk. I'll be goi-"
I extend a hand, fumbling in the air for a moment before I catch his sleeve, digging into it. "Wait…"
"What is it? Is there anything you want a report on?" He asks, looking at me in calmness as I move my head, a single eye catching him raising a brow at my silence.
"Did you arrange the papers?"
"Yes, just as I did last time."
"The reports?" I ask, yawning softly.
"They're also ready for you, do you want me to bring them here?"
"Mmh," I nod, slumping back into the pillow. He sighs as I slowly let go of his sleeve before turning around.
As I wait for him, I extend a hand to grab small bites of the lunch he ordered. Stretching my legs causes a small pain to raise in the middle of my back, I can't fully circle my neck. Ugh… What a pain… This is what I get for sitting all dusk in front of a monitor. And just when I need to review the compiled analysis of the 00 Unit.
"Here they are," he says as he enters, leaving a few stacks of papers in the small table further in. "Give me a call if you need clarification, I'll be in Hangar 90 after the training is done," Takeru nods, waving as he moves to the door.
"Wait," I call out, gesturing for him to come closer. Again pursing his lips a tiny bit and raising a brow, he walks up to the end of the bed, and there he remains. So I point to my wardrobe, coughing a bit. "There's a pair of jade wheels there, take them out."
"…You are not thinking of requesting me to give you a massage, are you Vice Commander?" He asks, giving me a side glance.
"Yuuko."
"What?"
"My name is- Yaaawn… Yuuko. Stop it with the rank already," I rub my eyes, again pointing to the wardrobe afterwards. "Come on, stop standing there. My back hurts and I need to get rid of the soreness," again resting my chin on the pillow, grabbing small bites of food, I steal glances at him.
"Wait, are you-"
"It's an order, you're under a punishment. So- Yaawn. So stop standing there."
At first, Takeru simply remains watching with quite the tension in his posture. As I simply return his stare, smile back, he sighs and shakes his head, rolling his eyes as he walks to the wardrobe. Procuring the wheels without much issue, he hands me the coffee as I point to it.
"Someone sure is comfy there," he comments, raising a brow.
"Gulp… I did need the rest, and don't feel like rushing is a good idea as of now," I admit, resting the cup on the nearby wood. "So? Come on, get on with it," I tilt my head backwards, removing the sheets from my upper back.
Sighing yet again, Takeru slowly starts, from outwards to the center, from the top of the shoulders to my nape, up and down my neck, around the base, following my spine.
"Mmh… Harder…"
"H-Huh?"
"Do it harder, just a bit," he sighs, I feel his breath on my arm as the impulse picks up, now enough to move me, a tender jolt coursing through my muscles. "So, umh… Did anything of importance happen?"
"1st Lt Tsukuyomi called, she apologized for the altercation the cousins had with Kasumi," he says, dry, as he focus on my neck for a moment.
"I see… Anything else?"
"She said she had something important to speak with you, so she'll be calling back. She refused to divulge what it was, though."
"Mmh… Good. What else?"
As he reports what few calls arrived, his hands drive the wheels over me, crushing the soreness residing under the skin. Takeru does express his concern over the amount of coffee in the expresso machine, and I can only roll my eyes at his usual complains about how much I drink while taking bites off the lunch. When he ask about his plans for the 00 Unit, I tell him the few folktales available are already in the cylinder room for whenever he desires to use them.
"Got it. Do you want another go at the tuning tonight?" He asks, kneading my shoulders a bit harder, tighter.
"Yes, we should- Mmh… try two sessions each day to gauge its reactions," I nod, sighing with my nose, rubbing my ankles together.
"Roger… Well, I guess this was enough?" He lifts his hands, giving a nod.
I stretch and feel no tension in my muscles, nothing cracking. "Yeah… It's like day and night, for real. Who would have said you'd be so useful?" I smirk at him, again reaching out for a bite of food.
"Sigh… You really do like to drive me hard, honey."
"Only because you can deliver," I say, chuckling at the minimal shock, the lips that cannot seal. "Well, anything else?"
"…No, there's nothing else to report. Should I be on my way?"
"Hm? Oh, yes. Let's not give Marimo any more trouble. You be careful around the hallways, Takeru. I'll call you if I need anything," I nod back with a smile, grabbing the coffee and taking a sip.
Mmh… This burning sensation is the best. The smell, the aching already has my breathing restarting in full force, ready to march out and untangle the next puzzle. Shame I never asked Takeru about how he aided that other me before, I really can get used to receiving coffee every time I wake up.
Looking back up, he was again shocked, standing still and contracting upon himself.
"Is something the matter, Takeru?"
"Ah, no… Not really, but-"
"Out with it, what happened?"
"…Why are you calling me by name?" He asks, facing me frontally, features tight, arms folding.
"Huh? Why, you ask? It's your name."
"I mean, yeah, but-"
"Come on, now. Enough with the formalities, okay? Unless, you're retracting your habitual way of being for some reason?" I ask, sitting up and brushing the sheets off me.
Eyes widen upon my stare, he truly remains petrified. Void of breath for a second, before he coughs and straightens further, turning away. "No, it ain't that… Just wondered why you started calling me like that all of a sudden."
"I dunno, why have you been calling me as Vice Commander?" I stare, he cannot return my eyes. Lips pursing, posture faltering as if walking on the shore, receiving a wave to the face and turning away at the saline impact. "Takeru, what is the matter? You wouldn't still hold some… doubts towards me?"
"No, it's not that," he affirms, nodding once, despite how his sight remains veiled. "I simply would like you to stop teasing me, especially when we're speaking of important matters. I am not going to trip, Vice Co-"
"Yuuko."
"…Okay, fine, you win but stop with the teasing. I mean, I don't mind some, but Sumika could scan us and-"
"The 00 Unit cannot scan my mind, and while you are not in its vicinity it also cannot scan yours," I affirm, grabbing the cup and finishing the coffee in one gulp. Mmh… Damn it Takeru, you brew it almost as good as I would.
"I see… Makes sense, with the guards being near me and the rumors as well," he nods, scratching his head. Yet as I nod with a smile, he quickly turns away, as if recoiling from a source of heat. "Well, I have to be going or I'll be late for the training. Later," he turns around as if hearing the 991 alarm, blasting away from the room as if he had engaged one of his crazy acrobatics.
What is it with him now? Well, Marimo might become concerned if he is late. Right, those two guards could also be a nuisance for him if they start asking questions. Still, what was with his expression? The way in which his lips turned and tossed, the disquiet in his arms… You wouldn't be hiding something from me now, Takeru?
"Sigh… Anyways, I should be going, too. Yashiro should be done with her tasks as well, and I have a call awaiting me, it seems."
So I rest the cup again on the wood, a hand caressing my neck as I circle it around. Both of my hands join and stretch up, letting a shiver run from my toes to my nape, one final yawn to leave my lips. There truly is no tension left in my back, no knots or contraction in it. Sigh… You know, I might have joked about it before, but I think I'm gonna have him bring me coffee every morning. Not like he can refuse, since he's under a punishment to justify the order. And he can come here earlier, to tend to the 00 Unit too. A perfect result, isn't it. Wiping the last motes of blurriness from my sight, I approach my wardrobe.
And my steps halt cold in place as I reach it.
My own eyes widen and extend as my lips, as my own reflection returns the confusion and shock Takeru endowed in moments before.
In the full length mirror that resides in one of the doors of the wardrobe my reflection stands before me, with absolutely no modesty covering her figure.
"…Hmm, I see," I smirk, tapping my lips as I open the wardrobe, taking out a fresh uniform from it. "So that's why he was in a rush, huh."
Sitting on the bed to begin from the bottom, slowly I get changed. Still, he was not ogling like a teenager or a creep. Not intimidated either, but not trying to steal 'subtle' glances. Standing up, I raise both arms and put the undershirt in place, slowly pushing my head outwards. Grabbing the upper part, buttoning it all, once that's in place I grab the skirt, push the heels from below the bed. In only an extra minute, my reflection returns the usual visage as I put on my lab coat, brush my bangs.
"…Still, he tried so hard to remain standing in attention, never letting his composure falter." I place a hand on the glass, finding a smile curving as I lean closer to it. "And yet, those lips and hands remained so disturbed, to the point that he fled. In embarrassment, maybe?"
I can't help but to chuckle. Turning around, I grab the tray with the lunch and bring it to the small table. Sitting there, starting to glance at the reports while finishing the meal, my lips cannot relax. A few fingertips trace my neck, down to my back. Recalling the pressure, the small hesitation he showed me. Even the small surprise at the simple show of appreciation that is to call him by name. And still, to think you'd try so hard not to stare, to manage to keep your poise yet still would find your own subconscious fighting against you. That troubled expression as you tightly closed your eyes with pursed lips… despite all that is in the board, all that can come our way, you still do have many amusing surprises waiting for me to uncover.
Slowly licking my lips as I take the final piece of food into my mouth, I chuckle softly, leaning back, trailing the edge of my neck. "My, my… How cute of you, Takeru. Fuhuhu… If you were so adorable in front of it, perhaps the 00 Unit would be tuned far more easily."
…Still, I think I prefer that side of yours to be something only I get to see. It's good to know… that same bright gaze you had when we met is still there for me, even now, after all that has happened.
A sound reaches my ears, the ringing of the phone. Well, looks like I have to go keep my end of the deal. I do wonder what she wants, though. I certainly hope Her Purpleness isn't thinking on insisting any more to have Takeru visit the Capital. Not when the 00 Unit's tuning is on the line, and the reactions we got before show he is on the right track.
"…And I rather not have him resorting to the third option due to your meddling, guards. I should try and inquire about their intentions… to see whether we choose the first or the second one, though."
…
…I do wonder what is up with that poem, and why can't I recall anything about it. Did I have a dream today? Um… I can't tell, the heaviness left me now so I don't really remember. Grasping the receiver, I give the okay to accept the incoming call. Guess I should try and cause a link on my own to start remembering something of those worlds sooner rather than later, if the reports I asked of him do not spur any echoes in me.
Assuming he won't again grow all red upon the notion, that is. Hehehe…