"You did the right thing," Michael sat next to Ryan on the couch. The agent had been cleaning his weapons, but he quickly lost focus. His mind was wandering from thought to thought, attempting to grasp anything that wasn't negative. He was having no such luck in not thinking the worst, however. Despite his team supporting him and trying to help him see the positives, it was simply too much. He was racked with guilt and things that could've been. It was the right choice, as voiced by others and by a part of him. But he still felt terrible.
He had to leave his son. In order to truly save Cassandra from taking the blame for Semak's murder, hers and Max's deaths had to be faked. Of course that had been Nikita's idea. Yet it had worked. Both Gogol and MI6 would leave her alone, allowing her to live as long as she went into hiding. Ryan was offered to join her and Max. He could give up the crusade to live a happy life with his son. He hadn't, though. What he was doing was important, and he couldn't abandon his team. In order to keep everyone safe, he had to stay where he was. It still didn't feel like the right choice. He thought he could've done more. Michael probably would've done more, "So if it was Hayley and Elizabeth…"
"Yes. Anything to keep loved ones safe," The analyst replied without hesitation. Ryan had too many enemies to just leave a war. They could hunt him down and hurt his son. If Michael was in his shoes, he'd have made the same decision. When it came down to it, it was all about securing the safety of their loved ones. Enough pain came from Division and Gogol. The less affected by that hurt, the better. Although it was heartbreaking to have to leave a loved one, if it kept them safe above all else then it was worth it. It would always be worth it.
"What about Nikita?" Ryan just had to ask. He knew Michael was right- he was aware of the good he had done by giving up the potential of everything to protect his son. He simply needed more time to process and assure himself. Knowing his friend would have made the same choice was helpful, but he had already lost his wife and daughter. The analyst hadn't known what it was like to live without his fiancée, however. Could he easily give all that joy up since he had known it. Even if it was for the sake of safety, could he leave her behind.
"Oh we both know I can take care of myself," Before Michael could reply (his answer was 'yes'- it'd always be yes) Nikita interrupted. She flashed a self-assured grin, encouraging the men to move on from depressing topics. As important as it was to talk through the pain of what had happened, it was also important to continue forward. They couldn't be dragged down by their harsh feelings. Then all of their sacrifice would've been for nothing. Collapsing on the other side of Ryan, she brought that point home with a playful punch to his thigh. It was time for lighter things, "You ready to kick some ass, Fletch?"
"I never understood how you could bounce back so fast," All Ryan could do was laugh. Whereas he struggled to make it from mission to mission in their war (and with Division) Nikita managed to come out of the situations stronger and more determined than ever. It was possible that it was simply because she allowed the support in her life to lift her up. Michael was the greatest example of that as he smiled in agreement with her encouragement. Ryan just had to not be afraid to let the team fully in his heart. It was a simple thought, yet it was a difficult concept to put into practice.
"It's a lot of screaming into pillows and punching things. Ooh. And yoga," With her last point, though, hesitant thoughts turned to green and blue eyes rolling. Fortunately for Michael, Birkhoff called for his attention about something. He was largely able to avoid his fiancée's glare while he moved to the nerd. Ryan wasn't so lucky. Nikita could level a harsh glare that had her enemies cowering whenever she wanted. Although she shot an impressive scowl towards her friend, there was humor shining in her brown eyes. She planned on teasing him and riling him up. If that was the case, then he was willing to push her buttons right back.
"For the last time, I'm not doing that with you," Nudging Nikita, Ryan repeated his stance on practicing yoga with her. He was sure it could help relieve stress, but he'd much rather go on a run or spar. The benefits of stretching and meditating didn't appeal to him. Yet, despite how many times he had told the rogue that, she wouldn't let the subject drop. She was going to get him to do yoga with her if it was the last thing she did. By that point, it wasn't even about relaxing or anything like that; it had become a point of pride. One of them was going to win that battle, and she was determined it was going to be her.
"Why not? Michael does it- sometimes. Okay, once. But Alex did it with me when she was here. And, I even got Birkhoff to do it. Kinda. There was a lot of alcohol involved," Her argument wasn't that solid. She only convinced her fiancé to practice yoga with her once, dropping innuendos about flexibility and endurance. However, it didn't last long, and they quickly got distracted by more fun activities. Alex, on the other hand, loved to do some stretches with Nikita. She found it helpful in concentrating on all the things she had to learn in her crashcourse spy school. She could think things over, reset, and be prepared for more. It certainly helped her not lose her head to all the craziness.
Birkhoff's and Nikita's yoga practice wasn't a typical one, though. In fact, it was a reach for her to even call it that. There was a Division mission long ago when the two of them got heavily drunk afterwards. It wasn't the smartest idea they'd ever had, especially with her history of substance abuse, but they needed to forget the horrendous op. For the meantime it had worked, and they were able to laugh it off with silly twisted poses- almost like they were playing twister, just without the mat. Yet what had happened had still clung to them. So much so, they never told Ryan about it. Which was why the mere mention of it had him confused, "When was this?"
"If I tell you which op, you'll kill me," That probably wouldn't be the case. But he would want to talk about it, and that was the last thing Nikita wanted. They were supposed to be focusing on brighter things, after all. Ryan thought about forcing her to open up, but ultimately dropped it. He was certain he had won that round of bickering over yoga, so why not brag about that instead. Just as he was about to, however, a call came in on one of the burner cells. The rogue grabbed for it instantly, beaming, "Hey, look it's Alex. What's up?"
Once again, Ryan rolled his eyes. But he let Nikita off the hook. They both playfully swatted at one another as he returned to cleaning his weapons and she hopped off the couch. The team had been waiting for an update from Alex. They knew she had refused to hand over Zetrov to Ari and Amanda, painting a larger target on her back. And she was focused on keeping her mother safe against their wrath. But other than that, the team was in the dark. It was a good thing the young woman called when she had, "Sean is off to Greece with my mom. He's gonna watch after her, while I hunt for a trustworthy Zetrov CEO."
"You could still take over," Nikita was only half joking. She had seen Alex do amazing things in the months they had known one another. The young woman fought against Gogol forces in an attempt to save her mother, although she barely had any training. She infiltrated Division in a daring chance to take out Clean Sweep before it could be used. And she was standing her own against formidable enemies all in the name of her family. It was remarkable; Alex could truly do anything she put her mind to.
"That's not funny," She just didn't want to be involved with a company that had destroyed the ones she loved. Of course she'd accept her inheritance and the things that were rightfully hers- she would never refuse the things her father had given her. But Alex would happily hand over Zetrov to someone trustworthy. She couldn't give up her life, the people in it, and the things she was fighting for, for something that was no longer a part of her life. There were far more important things for her to accomplish than running a company.
"Come on. Drug addict to secretary to spy to CEO. Sounds pretty awesome to me," Definitely joking that time, Nikita couldn't help but remind her friend of all the awesome growth she had gone through. The rogue could practically hear the eye roll in response. At least the two could laugh about it and continue to joke instead of dwelling on the not so pleasant things. They could maybe hold off on their next moves, and concentrate on some fun and simple times. They had missed the chance in the hotel room. Then was certainly a great time to make up for it.
"I'd much rather be a spoiled heiress, wasting her money as she did absolutely nothing," Alex sighed wistfully. She didn't think she could even just sit and do nothing. She had to be doing something helpful and productive. But not having to worry about anything sounded like a dream. The last time she had ever gotten to be that care and stress free had been when she was a child. After that fateful night, when everything was ripped from her in a second, her life had not known peace. She'd love to return to that. At the end of the war, she could. And not only would she be with her mother, but also her boyfriend and all her wonderful friends.
"Oh yeah. That's the life," Nikita had to rely on her imagination and stories Michael had told her to picture that sort of life for herself. In all her years, she didn't think she had ever had a truly peaceful moment. She was always anxious about something, especially as a child. But she could get to that normalcy and happily ever after eventually. Wasn't that what she was fighting for with her fiancé. Wasn't the ring on her finger a promise for those sorts of things- that one day she could stop running and finally be home.
"You're not getting a cent of my money," Going the teasing route, Alex got the both of them to laugh once more. They didn't need to think about their messed up lives for a moment. They did that enough already. It could just be time for friendships and bonding and making fun of the wild situations they found themselves in. As grateful as the two were for the rest of the team and for the men in their hearts, they hadn't realized how much they needed one another until they stumbled in each others' lives again. The understanding the women shared over their pasts and futures was far greater than anything else. It helped keep them afloat when the world tried to drag them down.
"How 'bout a rubel?" It was an empty question, yet the women laughed anyway. They talked for a lot longer before both had to move on to other matters. Alex had a meeting with an old friend of her father's, and Nikita was distracted by Michael returning to the room in a suit. They ended the call, and the rogue bounced over to her fiancé. Instantly, she grabbed hold of the lapels of his jacket and eyed him over wantonly. Chuckling, he shook his head. His arms wrapped around her of their own accord, however, and she couldn't help but to pull him just a tad closer, "Look at you all dressed up. How'd I get so lucky?"
"Senator Pierce called. She wants to discuss some Division intel," Michael informed Nikita of what Birkhoff had gotten his attention about. The former analyst and Senator had been working a lot recently on the deal the team had made to take down Division and gain pardons. He was more or less taking point on the whole thing while the others were busy with their running and gunning. Hopefully with whatever she wanted to meet with him about, the end of their crusade would be soon. Then all of those potential futures they joked about could be true.
Although she was excited for that possibility, Nikita was a bit disappointed that Michael hadn't dressed up for her. He made up for it by drawing her in for an affectionate kiss. Unfortunately, it was interrupted by Ryan asking if he was needed to talk to Senator Pierce as well. That time, the rogue's glare didn't have any humor in it. The agent regretted his interruption, but the analyst was able to save him from further pain. He declined the offer, suggesting the team stayed at the safehouse in case something pinged on Shadownet. A shiteating grin slowly overcoming her, Nikita loved the idea, "Awesome. Then you can do some yoga with me."
Ryan couldn't say 'no'. He was dragged to the cleared space in the living room, unable to stop Nikita. Michael didn't move a muscle to help him. He just smirked and prepared to leave. Being distracted by his computer set up and plugging in the information Alex and Sean had given him from Ari's harddrive, Birkhoff missed out on the majority of what was happening around him. He wasn't going to complain, however. He could taunt the team just fine from his position. The fact that it would continue the lightness that had filtered through the team after days of doom and gloom only made it even better. The nerd could smirk guilt free, and perpetuate the laughter, "Glad I missed that whole conversation. Don't need any more weird unnecessary drama coming from you guys."