The news of Collins' appearance in our squad room spread a lot faster than any of us thought it would. The uniform who'd taken the note from him was now under investigation by IAB, and by the time we saw the poor girl a few days later, she looked as if she'd been through hell and back. Obviously, no one had told her how harsh IAB was, even when there was no reason for them to suspect anything. I'd lost count of the number of times she'd apologized to us for just letting him get away with that. We'd all taken our turn at reassuring her that there was no way she could have known it was him, but it was obviously that she still felt guilty.
"You know, I'd love to stick IAB in an interrogation room and give them a taste of their own damn medicine," Elliot muttered as she left our squad room for what seemed to be the millionth time. "They've got no reason to be going after her."
"I'll say," said Kay. "They're worse up here than they are in Baltimore." I snorted into my coffee at this; she had a point, but it was still amusing. They did seem to be worse up here than they ever were in Baltimore, but the whole thing was irrelevant. What mattered was that Collins had slipped through our fingers, yet again, and now we were on pins and needles waiting for another murder, while doing everything in our power to prevent it.
Abby had been in and out of the interview room with the notes and files from this round ever since Jessica Bennett's murder, coming out only when she wanted coffee or to ask us if there was any news. She'd come to the precinct before any of us that day, and none of us had yet seen her.
"She's going to make herself sick if she keeps going on like this," Tim remarked, motioning off towards the interview room and shaking his head. "I don't think she's been sleeping lately."
"I wouldn't doubt that." I said. "For that matter, Rose is going to have my head if she doesn't; I'm going to talk to her." I started off towards the interview room, and saw Kay shaking her head out of the corner of my eye.
"I'm going to laugh if she decks you," she said. "You know better than anyone else how she is."
I did, but I ignored this comment and walked into the interview room anyways. Sure enough, there was Abby, still poring over the current case files and sipping from a mug of coffee.
"Don't even think about it," she said, without looking up, but I ignored her as well, sitting in the chair across from her and waiting. She looked up after a few minutes, scowling.
"If you really think threatening me with another lecture from Rose is going to work, you've got another thing coming," she said. "I'm not going anywhere until I find something."
"I didn't say anything," I replied. She gave me a look, pushing her hair out of her eyes and allowing herself to lean back.
"I know you too well to fall for that one," she said. "What do you want now? Is there…" She trailed off, unable to say the words, and looked away. I shook my head, but she didn't see me, so I spoke.
"No," I told her, "There hasn't been another one. But that uniform's been in here again apologizing." Abby shook her head, turning back to face me.
"She's not the one who should be apologizing," she remarked. "How was she supposed to know it was him? She looks barely old enough to be out of the academy."
"She looks older now," I commented quietly. "IAB's really doing a number on her. They think she has something to do with it." Abby shook her head again, a bitter laugh escaping her.
"They really are getting desperate for answers, aren't they?" she asked acidly. I sighed.
"We all are, Abby," I said. "It's not just them. It's the whole department. They're scared because they think we're starting to get burned out, and they think that this case is going to be the final straw."
"It was almost the final straw the first time." Abby's voice had lowered to nothing more than a nearly inaudible whisper; she looked away again, staring out the window at the rain. "I nearly quit my job when Collins walked the first time."
"Yeah, and I almost ate my gun before we even found him," I said. "But we're both still here, aren't we?"
"Are you listening to yourself?" Abby asked. "If we don't close this, I'm gonna go back to Baltimore looking even more like a failure, you're probably going to be forced into retirement…"
"That isn't the worst that could happen," I pointed out, "And you're not a failure. It's not your fault Meldrick and I decided to beat the hell out of him."
Silence fell. For a minute, I thought she was going to start yelling at me again, but she didn't. Instead she leaned forward and closed the files in front of her, sighing as she ran a hand through her hair.
"I haven't found anything," she said. "I must have been through these files at least ten times each in the past few days…there's nothing."
"You knew there wouldn't be," I said quietly. "There were never any similarities in these cases."
"I know," Abby admitted, "I just…I couldn't help but hope there was a chance that there might be something we missed."
Something we missed. It certainly seemed as if we'd been missing a lot lately, even if we hadn't, really. The city could talk all they wanted; we knew what we were doing, even if it didn't appear so. Our insecurities were the least of their worries. And it was for that reason that we couldn't let them get in the way, no matter how much we wanted them to.
"I think it might be a good idea if you took a break from this and started helping Casey with Walker's trial," I said finally, and Abby looked up at me, startled.
"You're taking me off this?" she asked. I shook my head.
"No," I said, "I'm not taking you off this; I'm just saying that it might be easier for you to handle this the way you already know how to, instead of playing detective with me."
"And if Casey doesn't need my help? Then what am I supposed to do, sit in the hotel and knit?"
"I highly doubt you know how to knit, so, no. And I'm pretty sure Casey could use someone on her side right about now."
That was certainly true. Casey had come by two days ago with the news that the D.A. was pressuring her into taking Walker to trial as soon as possible. At the moment, the trial was scheduled to start in a week. He was being charged with being an accomplice to murder, as well as obstructing justice, which I had the feeling that Casey had somehow managed to bootstrap once she'd found out he wouldn't talk. It would be a hollow victory, even if we got a conviction, but at least it was something.
"Well, if you're so intent on me going back to the courtroom side, then I suggest you take me over to the D.A's office, because I don't know how to get there." Abby's voice broke into my thoughts and when I looked over at her, I saw that a half-hearted smile had crossed her face, the first since she had taken the files. I nodded wordlessly and reached into my pocket for my keys; we left the squad room a few minutes later, ignoring the looks that those who weren't working the case were casting in our direction.
"Aren't you two a sight for sore eyes?" Casey heard our footsteps before she actually saw us; her office door was open and she was looking up when we walked in, offering up the same half-hearted smile Abby had been wearing a little while before. "Anything new?"
"Other than a few new notes, no," I replied. I pulled the three envelopes we'd gotten from the last murder out of my coat pocket and set them on her desk; she looked at them and then motioned for Abby and me both to sit down.
"I'm sure you both have heard Walker's trial starts in a week," she said. Both of us nodded; Casey sighed and ran a hand through her hair before continuing. "I have to tell you now, there's a good possibility that he could walk."
"Even if he does, Baltimore's looking to possibly extradite," Abby said finally. "Walker's wanted on current drug charges, not to mention assault with a deadly weapon and the attempted murder of two police officers."
Casey's eyebrows raised at this; she reached for the water bottle in front of her and took a sip from it before replying. "Quite the record, isn't it?"
"That's not even half of it," Abby answered. "There's a stronger chance that he'll be convicted there, even if he gets a walk here."
"How long ago were the assault and attempted murder charges?" Casey asked. Abby sighed.
"The assault charges came about a year before this started," she said. "Attempted murder charges were…well, they were a while ago."
"I'm assuming they were for the attempted murders of two Baltimore police?" said Casey, glancing at me as I shifted slightly in my position. Abby nodded.
"Yeah," she said, "Walker was working with the same man who committed these murders the first time around. We had Collins, but Walker shot two of the three who were there, and they both got away."
Casey shook her head in disgust. "Well, if we lose here, I'll do what I can to see that Baltimore gets him," she said. "For now, all we can do is worry about these charges."
"Which is exactly why I'm here," said Abby. "I might not work for your office, but I think I might be able to help you with this trial."
Silence fell. Casey looked in my direction for a few seconds before nodding and taking another sip from her water bottle.
"I'm sure the D.A. will be willing to let you work with me, considering," she said. "I haven't figured out yet how I'm going to go about this; you might actually make it easier to get a conviction…"
Casey continued on, but I was no longer listening. Abby seemed slightly more cheerful than she had been in a while, probably because I'd finally pushed her back into her own element, which was where she should have been in the first place. Neither of them noticed when I got up to leave, but I had the feeling that once Abby noticed I was gone, I was going to get an earful when I saw her again. I closed the office door behind her and started towards the elevators, reaching into my pocket for my cell phone as it rang.
"Well, I'll be damned; you do know how to answer a phone." Kai's voice sounded in my ear, and I rolled my eyes, fighting back the sudden desire to laugh.
"Aren't you supposed to be in class?" I asked. "It's the middle of the morning." She sighed, and I had the feeling that if I could see her, she'd have been shrugging.
"I didn't have a class this morning," she said, "In fact, I don't have a class for another couple of hours."
"Where are you, then?" I asked, as the message from the first note at the last crime scene came back to me, echoing in my mind as if someone were reading it out loud again.
"Waterfront," she replied, "Why? What's going on up there?"
Nothing that she needed to know about, or Rowan, for that matter, but I had the feeling Rose already knew everything and was just keeping it from them.
"Nothing," I said finally, "Nothing's going on up here. Why'd you call?"
"What, I'm not allowed to call you anymore? I've got you. I'll hang up if you want me to…"
"That's not what I meant, and you know it. Are Rowan and Rose with you?"
"Rowan is. I don't know where Rose went, but she had two cops following her. I think they were from Kay's shift."
So Kay really had set a police detail on them. As relieved as I was by this, I'd have still preferred if all three of them were in the same place, but it wasn't really going to matter what I said: I wasn't there, and therefore, couldn't actually enforce anything.
"They say anything to her?" I asked finally.
"Yeah," said Kai. "I didn't hear what it was, though, but Rose had this look on her face like she was about ready to kill someone…you know, that look she gets when Abby ticks her off."
I knew that look all too well, having been on the receiving end of it myself more times than I cared to remember. I wasn't surprised Rose was irritated about having to be followed; she was like Abby in that sense, convinced she could take care of herself, even when it was obvious that something might happen to her.
"Who's at the Waterfront with you?" I asked. Kai sighed again, and I heard voices in the background. Some of them I recognized; others, I didn't.
"Meldrick's here," she said finally. "Paul and Laura showed up a few minutes ago…Mike Kellerman and Mike Giardello are both here…"
"Pretty much everyone that's ever worked the first shift, then," I said. Kai laughed.
"Yeah, pretty much," she said. "I wouldn't count on anything happening while we're here."
I hated it when she did that. It was like she could read my mind, even though I hadn't given her anything to indicate that something would happen. Then again, she had referred to me as paranoid more times than I cared to think about, so it wasn't surprising; it was more unsettling than anything else.
"What makes you think something's going to happen?" I asked finally. "I didn't say anything."
"You don't have to," came the reply. "I can tell by your voice. Now, are you going to tell me what's going on or not?"
"No," I answered, "I'm not, because knowing you, the first thing you'll do is tell Rowan, and then I'll never hear the end of it."
"Hey! I know how to keep my mouth shut, thanks."
"I should live to see the day." I paused for a moment, waiting for the indignant reply I knew would come, and sure enough it did.
"You want to play it that way? I've got you. You just wait and see if I bother calling you again."
"I should also live to see that day." Again, there was silence. I was torn between wanting to laugh at this conversation and wanting to continue pressing her for information, but she spoke before I could.
"You should talk to Rowan," she remarked. "When's the last time you two talked, anyway?"
"About two weeks ago, give or take a few days," I admitted. Silence fell, and I could just imagine her getting the same look Rose did when I told her something like that.
"I can't believe you," she said finally. "First you promise to call and then you what, you forget?" She paused for a minute and I could almost see her shaking her head. "You know what, forget it. You can deal with it later, but you're talking to her now."
Shuffling told me that whatever phone Kai had been using was changing hands; I stepped out of the building the D.A's office was located in and stood there, waiting.
"I hope you know Rose is this close to coming up there to kill you and Abby," Rowan remarked, once the phone had finally reached her.
"Good," I said, "We end up dead, everyone's going to know exactly who to look for."
"I hardly see the point of being down here if you're not going to bother taking the time to pick up the phone."
"There have been four murders since you left; I can't exactly drop everything just to talk to you."
Silence fell as soon as the last word left me, and it suddenly hit me exactly what that remark had sounded like.
"If you don't want to talk to me, then don't," Rowan said finally, "No one's forcing you to."
"That's not what I meant," I said. "I do want to talk to you, I just haven't had time to call lately."
"I see," said Rowan, in that same tone that told me she didn't, and that if she did, she was still annoyed about it. "So, what have you been up to lately?"
Nothing that I wanted to tell her, or even wanted to think about, for that matter. Something told me, however, that this wasn't going to fly, and I sighed before answering.
"Except for these cases, nothing," I said. "We still haven't gotten anywhere with any of them."
Other than the phone calls, and the increasingly threatening notes. I was tempted at this point to tell her to come back to New York, but Kay was more than likely to end up pissed off at me if I did, so I said nothing and waited.
"There's something you're not telling me," Rowan said finally, "Are you all right?"
I figured then that I should have known that if anyone knew something was up, it would be her. I wasn't all right, not with these latest notes, and the discovery of surveillance equipment in our apartment and everything else that was going on. But she didn't need to know that.
"Yeah," I said, "I'm fine, I'm just tired."
"Haven't you been sleeping lately?" I hated the note of worry that I heard in Rowan's voice, but there wasn't anything I could do about it, and that made me hate it even more.
"I've been trying," I said, "But I can't tell you it's been working." And I couldn't tell her why it hadn't been working, either. It would only make her worry more.
"Maybe you should take a sleeping pill or something," said Rowan, pulling me out of my line of thoughts and back into reality. "It might help."
Key word being 'might'. I doubted it would. "I will," I said. "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine."
"Don't worry, he says," Rowan muttered dryly. "How the hell do you expect me not to worry?"
I had asked Kay the same thing a few days ago. Her solution was just to ignore the situation, which was something that I definitely could not do. I'd hoped that at least Rowan would be able to, but now it was quite evident that she couldn't.
"I don't," I said, "I just want you to try. You're only going to drive yourself up the wall if you keep thinking about it."
Again, there was silence. Rowan sighed again and I could see her in the back of my mind, running an impatient hand through her hair. I waited, but no reply came.
"You all right?" I asked.
"Yeah, I'm all right, I just…" Rowan trailed off for a moment before continuing on. "I just want to come home."
"It'll be over soon," I told her. "You'll be home before you know it." It was an empty promise, at least, as far as I knew at that moment, but it seemed to make her feel better: she sounded slightly more cheerful when she replied.
"I should let you go," she said. "You've probably got a lot to do."
"I do," I said. Silence fell for a third time, and when she didn't reply, I went on. "I'll call you later, all right?"
"All right." She cut herself off, and a few more minutes of silence passed before she spoke again. "I love you."
"I love you, too." I flipped my cell phone closed and stowed it away in my pocket again before looking up; I had reached the precinct without noticing and was now sitting there in the pocket, listening to silence.
Collins had been right, as much as I hated to admit it: I did need to keep better contact with Rowan and Kai…especially since they were in a place where I couldn't see them. As disturbed as I was by this fact, hearing their voices had made me feel better than I had been mere hours before.
With this thought in mind, I got out of the car and walked into the precinct, determined not to let myself think about anything but closing this case so that they could come home.