"You just can't keep yourself out of trouble, can you?" I heard Kai before I saw her, opening my eyes to find that she was glaring at me, and that I was in the hospital. I said nothing, and she continued on. "I hope you know Rose is about ready to kill you and Abby both."
"I could care less about Rose at this point," I told her, "Where is everyone?" She gave me a look.
"The least you could do is ask about your wife, seeing as Kay near about gave her a heart attack when she called to tell what happened," she muttered.
"Wait a minute," I said, "Rowan's here?" Kai rolled her eyes.
"No," she said, "She went back to South Carolina. Of course she's here. I just kicked her out of here about an hour ago; told her to go eat something. I made Tim go with her."
"Is anyone else here?" I asked. An exasperated look crossed Kai's face; she reached into the bag at her feet and handed me a pair of glasses in a case; I took them out and put them on.
"Where'd you get these?" I asked.
"Home," she replied. "They were on the bedside table." She cut herself off, then, and sighed, leaning forward and placing her elbows on her knees. "What happened?"
"I got shot, that's what happened," I replied. "It was nothing."
"Nothing," said Kai, echoing my comment. She fell silent, resting her chin in her hands, allowing herself time to mull over what I'd just said. A long while passed before she spoke again. "You know, this isn't something you can just laugh off like last time."
"I know," I said. "Last time, I could actually get out of bed."
"Don't even think about it." Kai looked at me over her own glasses and sighed. "You don't remember anything, do you?"
I shook my head. She gave me a skeptical look, as if she were sure that I was only saying that to get out of talking, but she said nothing, so I spoke.
"You all right?" I asked. She laughed.
"Hardly," she said. "First you've got Kay making two of her shift follow me around, and then you're the one who ends up getting hurt?"
"I'm a cop," I started, but she cut me off.
"Yeah," she said, "You re a cop, and you think that means you're freakin' invincible, but you're not."
I hadn't seen her like this in a long while. In fact, the last time I'd seen her react like this to something had been ten years ago…when we'd lost Gee. The sound of sniffling broke into my thoughts and I looked over to find Kai wiping at her eyes, still glaring at me.
"You're an idiot," she told me. "You ever get into something like this again, you'd better damn well hope they kill you, 'cause if they don't, I'll do it myself."
I had heard this threat many times before; most of the time from Abby, whom I didn't doubt would go through with it, other times from Rose, whom I did. Hearing it now from Kai only served to make me laugh.
"I should live to see the day you'd want to see me dead," I said. She narrowed her eyes at me.
"You think I'm bad?" she asked. You wait. I'm out of here the minute Tim gets back with Rowan and Rose."
"You're not really going to leave me alone with them, are you?" I asked.
"I ought to," Kai muttered dryly, "God only knows you'd deserve it."
"That would be cruel and unusual punishment, which I might remind you is still considered unconstitutional." I said.
Kai snorted. "Yeah, I've got your 'cruel and unusual punishment'," she said. "You ain't seen nothing yet."
I was sure I hadn't. Then again, I didn't want to think about it, so I pushed it to the back of my mind and reached for Kai's hand.
"Stop worrying, will you?" I said. "I'm still here, aren't I?"
"Stop worrying, he says," she scoffed. "You know, I'm starting to think I'm really the parent around here and you're the kid."
"You're not old enough to be a parent."
"Says you. I know plenty of girls younger than me who are parents."
"But you're not going to be until you get married."
"If I get married."
"Trust me, you will."
Silence fell then, when she didn't answer. It amazed me sometimes how things could go from one subject to the next in the span of five minutes, but then, it had always been like that. I'd figured out a while ago that it was one of Kai's defense mechanisms: after the shift lost Felton, it got to the point where one couldn't hold a conversation with her for never knowing what the hell she was talking about. Annoying as it was, it was also a handy way to forget about everything else…or at least, attempt to. I had the feeling that she as still convinced that I couldn't see through her façade, but I could, and therefore knew that she wasn't really pissed off…just upset.
The door to the room we were in opened, then; both Kai and I looked over to find Elliot there in the doorway, looking uncertain.
"Give me a few minutes, huh?" I said; Kai nodded, rose to her feet and left, closing the door behind her as Elliot walked in.
Silence lingered for the longest time after Kai left, broken only by the sounds coming from various machines in the room. After a while, it started grating on whatever nerves I still had left, so I spoke.
"You know, it's not exactly like I can do anything to you," I said. "I'm supposedly under orders not to move; the doctors will have my head if my daughter doesn't get there first."
Elliot offered up a faint, half-hearted smile at this, obviously relieved that I was still able to make comments like that, especially since I was the way I was. He moved to sit in the chair that Kai had vacated moments before, but still said nothing. I watched him and sighed.
"What'd you come in here for?" I asked. He looked away, still without speaking. A few more minutes passed before he spoke.
"Why'd you do it?" he asked.
"Why'd I do what?" I asked in reply. He sighed and turned to look at me.
"Why'd you take those bullets?" he said again. "They were meant for me."
"I know," I said, "But that doesn't always necessarily mean anything."
Elliot shook his head, a rueful look crossing his face. "You know, if there is one person I'm never gonna understand, it's you, Munch."
I smirked. "That's what I'm aiming for," I said, "Now why'd you really come in here? "
"That is why I came in here," He replied. "I want to know why you did it."
I sighed. The truth was that I didn't have an answer as to why I'd done it. At least, not one that was going to come easily. Part of me wanted to tell him that it was because I wanted him to know that I didn't have any hard feelings towards him. But I knew somehow that that wasn't it. So I shrugged.
"I don't know, 'I told him. "I just did. But it looks like you still ended up getting shot."
Elliot snorted. "This is nothing," he said, motioning to the sling he was wearing with his uninjured arm.
"Who else got hit?" I asked. Elliot sighed.
"It was you, me and Fin," he said. "Collins caught us all off guard...he'd been threatening to kill himself."
That I remembered. I didn't, however, remember much else after that. He must have known this, because he continued.
"He shot at me first…you moved in front of me and went down…he shot me and then went after you again; ended up hitting Fin instead...Kay shot him when he went back to you."
I was surprised to hear his voice break on the last word and moved to say something, but he waved me into silence as he continued.
"We thought we were going to lose you. Kay had already called for ambulances, but you…you were already going unconscious, and we could hear you talking, but we couldn't see who you were talking to."
Silence fell when I didn't answer, and lingered until I spoke again a few minutes later.
"Is he…?" I asked, and Elliot nodded.
"Yeah, he's dead." he said. "Kay shot him when he turned on her." I nodded, a sense of grim satisfaction settling over me.
"He say anything?"
"Confessed to an open murder in Baltimore from 1993…a girl named Adena Watson. Said the charms were all from the bracelet he took from her body."
Again, there was silence. Beeps from the machines broke it every now and then; I waited for Elliot to go on, and when he didn't, I did."
"Anyone bother to tell Bayliss?" I asked finally, heavily. "Adena Watson was his first case."
Elliot nodded. "Kay told him already. He…well, I don't know where he is; he took off a while ago."
I said nothing, even though I knew that Tim had taken Rowan, and more than likely Abby and Rose, someplace. If anyone would be able to get to him, it was Abby.
"You seen your family yet?" I asked. Elliot shook his head.
"No," he said. "I don't think anyone's been able to get a hold of them." He sounded indifferent about it, but I knew better.
"Just wait, I said, they'll show up. How long are you supposed to be here for, anyway?"
"One more night," Elliot replied.
The door opened for a second time; Elliot rose to his feet as Rowan came into view, having obviously been sent by Abby and Rose, it not Kai. This question, however, was answered when Kai peered over her shoulder and pointed towards Elliot.
"You've got people looking for you," she said.
"Who?" he asked. She rolled her eyes.
"Your family," she said, "Who else?" Elliot looked over at me; I shrugged and said nothing. A few seconds later, he and Kai disappeared from view, leaving me alone with Rowan.
"I seem to remember you telling me not to worry about anything," she remarked placidly.
"There's a reason for that," I replied. She sighed, sitting in the chair that Elliot had just vacated.
"I'm not too sure I like those reasons," she said. "What exactly were you doing that got you into this?"
"Let me see," I said dryly. "I was working a case, saving a kid and going after a murderer, who was also a pedophile, who now happens to be dead."
"You shot him?" Rowan asked, looking startled.
"No," I said. "If I had, I wouldn't be lying here right now. Kay shot him, and I'm not exactly complaining."
"You're going to be in a few days, because you, unlike the other two, aren't leaving tomorrow morning." said Rowan.
"Yeah, I figured as much," I said. "I'm just hoping they don't keep me too long…there's one more thing that has to be done."
Rowan gave me an incredulous look at this, shaking her head. "I can't believe you," she said. "First you're lying here because you've been shot twice, and now you're telling me this case isn't finished?"
"It's finished," I told her, "In the sense that it's closed, anyways." Rowan looked towards the ceiling, then, an unreadable expression on her face, but I had the feeling she was still wondering how the hell she got stuck with me. A few seconds passed before she looked back at me.
"I'm starting to think I know why cops' wives have such a hard time of it," she remarked quietly. "Getting a call saying your husband's been shot is a hell of a way to wake someone up."
I sighed and shifted so that there was room for her beside me on the bed. "Come here." She did, lying on her side next to me and resting her head on my shoulder.
"I hate knowing how close I came to losing you," she said finally. "I just…I don't think I've ever been that scared before."
"If I might remind you, I got shot about two and a half months after we got married," I said. She snorted.
"I hardly think that counts, considering," she said, smirking. "Not like this, anyway."
She had a point. As Kai had so willingly pointed out earlier, last time, all of us had just laughed it off. It was nothing. This time, however…I pulled Rowan closer, or rather, as close as I could, considering where we were, and sighed.
"I'm still here, aren't I?" I asked. She closed her eyes, seemingly content to just lie there without having anything else to worry about .
"Yeah," she said, "You're still here…but I still hate the thought that one day this might happen again and you might not be."
I realized then that this was the first time I'd ever had this particular conversation with her, and decided that I didn't really want to talk about it, so I said nothing, and after a while, she turned so that she was looking me in the eye.
"What were you thinking?" she asked. "Right…right after you were shot, I mean. What was going through your mind?"
"You," I said. "And Kai…and the cases." I trailed off there to give myself time to regain my bearings and then continued. "I saw those girls, Rowan…all twenty-three of them. They…they were smiling, like they knew justice had finally been served for them."
She said nothing. I waited for something, anything, but silence lingered. Noises from the hospital drifted in through the partially-open door; we listened for a while, and then Rowan spoke again.
"What else is it that you have to do?" she asked. I sighed.
"The last case our guy confessed to before he died took place in '93," I said. "An eleven-year-old girl named Adena Watson. She was Tim's first case."
"And this is supposed to tell me what?" Rowan asked.
"That as soon as I get out of here, I'm going to Baltimore with Tim and Kay, to tell Adena's family that we've solved her murder."
"You're gonna have to wait a while for that," she remarked.
"I know," I said.
"And I'm going with you," she finished. I stared at her, startled, and shook my head.
"I would think you'd want to stay here in New York. It's almost the end of the school year."
"I'd like to think that I'm able to consider my family more important than my work. My students can wait."
"True, but the district might not want to."
"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it."
I nodded then, absently, suddenly feeling tired again. She seemed to notice this because she moved as if to leave, but I held her where she was.
"You want me to stay?" she asked, I nodded again and she settled back into the position she'd been in. Silence fell. I began to suspect after a while that she'd fallen asleep, but when I turned my head to look at her, I found her staring at me.
"What?" I asked. She shook her head and hid her face in my neck .
"Nothing," she replied. "I just…I don't want to do this again."
"Hopefully, you'll never have to," I said.
"Key word being 'hopefully'," Rowan muttered dryly. I laughed.
"Calm down, will you?" I asked. "I'm going to be fine."
Rowan ignored me. "You and I are too damn old for this," she said.
"I've still got a few years left before I have to retire," I told her, and she sighed.
"Yeah, I know." she replied. Silence fell again. She moved to look at me, and I waited, expecting her to say that I should leave SVU and find something else to do, but she didn't.
"What's that look for?" I asked. "I haven't even done anything yet."
"Obviously you did something or you wouldn't be here."
"You're never going to let this go, are you?"
"I'll let it go when we're both home again."
"I love you too, Rowan."
"We'll see." For some reason this comment struck me as amusing; I laughed and a few seconds later, she joined in.
She'd been right, though, in a way, about not letting it go until we were home again. It felt, to me at least, that even though Collins was now dead, none of us would be able to let it go until everything was normal again. Or rather, as normal as they could possibly get, considering. I looked at Rowan again, only to find that she'd fallen asleep, her face once more hidden in my neck. A nurse walked in, but said nothing; when she left, I closed my eyes and waited for what seemed like forever before sleep came to me as well.