I felt like an intruder somehow—like a burglar that had managed to get a sneak peek at someone else's life, and I was floored by it. I couldn't compute it—couldn't register the thought processes that swirled like jelly through my head as I just glanced back and forth between the two again and again in a dizzying dance of 'Wait! I'm still trying to catch up here." I just didn't know what to say. There were no words for it. Just pain—unending pain that spread throughout my gut as I tried again to reach out and touch Tommy, but, once again, he pulled away before shaking his head.
"It's not you." He whispered as I nodded in understanding. No use letting my feelings get hurt when I knew that rehashing those memories had brought back a lot of pain he needed to process alone. I could deal with that. Avoiding Justine's gaze, I looked down the alleyway deep in thought just about the same time that the back studio door opened with a 'bang.'
"Tommy…Jude…you're needed in the studio." Kwest said nonchalantly while looking down at a tablet of paper he held securely in his hand. Glancing up suddenly, he froze at the sight that met his eyes, and I knew by the way his pupils darkened that he realized what had just transpired.
"Maybe I should give you guys a little more time." Kwest remarked softly, but I just shook my head slowly before standing up and brushing the dirt off the back of my jeans. It was time to return to reality.
"I think we've had enough time." I said before holding my hand out to Tom in a gesture that said 'I'm not going anywhere' while glancing over my shoulder at Justine.
"I also think you're done here." I stated firmly as she gaped at me like a friggin' fish that had been out of the water way too long.
"Who are you to tell me…" She started vehemently, but I interrupted her smoothly while glaring pointedly into her eyes.
"They call me the Instant Star. When I see your name up in lights, I'll give you a chance to elaborate more. Until then, we have to get back to work so if you'll excuse us." I remarked steadfastly as I felt Tom's hand suddenly settle into mine. The connection meant so much to me, and I squeezed his fingers tightly as a brush of wind alerted me to the fact that he had stood up. It's a powerful thing what a simple brush of someone's fingers up against your own can mean. For me, it meant that he was willing to let me close enough to him to share his pain. And God, I wanted to.
Kwest nodded to us as we moved past Justine into the building, and I allowed myself only one glance backwards before letting the door slam in my face realizing as it did that, no matter how much I hated it, she was still his wife. She still used his last name. I felt her pain. Really I did. I couldn't imagine ever losing someone I really cared about in that manner, but it didn't excuse vindictiveness. By digging her claws into Tommy, she was only prolonging both of their pain because, by not letting go, neither of them were allowed to heal. Who knows? Maybe that was her plan.
It wasn't until I had gotten halfway into the studio that I noticed something very very fishy was going on. Tom let his hand slide inconspicuously out of mine as we noted, with gaping mouths, that the entire staff and crew of G Majors Studio were lined up along the walls as if we were marching by in some kind of strange, festive parade complete with a cake and a ton of balloons. I shrugged in confusion.
"Did I miss the memo about a birthday?" I asked with a winsome grin as Darius marched up to us with a huge smile plastered across his face. Now, I don't know about you, but when Darius smiles, it scares me. It's a new phobia I've managed to develop without any fanfare. Hmmm, I wonder if they have therapy for things like that. Anyway, I basically found myself staring in confusion at Darius as he patted Tom and Kwest on the back in congratulations.
"Well, it's official." He stated as I looked from one face to another before shrugging in irritation.
"What's official?" I asked as Tommy turned to me with a small chuckle—almost as if he couldn't believe what Darius had just announced.
"Damn!" He said suddenly before blinking as if processing the information slowly before grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me excitedly.
"Jude, you've been nominated for a Grammy award. You're going to the Grammy's." He stated suddenly and with such excitement that I found myself laughing in joy with everyone else—reveling in the information until it finally clicked in my head what he had just said. Oh my God! I just froze—looking around the room in one slow, amazing sweep of the area before doing the only thing I could think of at the moment. I screamed.