This has got to be my favorite chapter. If I've said that before, I change my mind. This is it. Should I be this in love with an OC? Anyway, keep in mind that they talk about the song during the chapter so pay attention.

--

My Last Breath

He knew that Suguru was better off this way. Akuma had a bad temper and he had always ended up losing it in front of Suguru, and Suguru was sensitive regarding the emotions of those he loved. When he had started flinching when Akuma moved suddenly was when Akuma had realized that there was really something wrong and the two of them had talked. Even that hadn't been enough, though.

'The joy of surviving suicide is that every breath you take is a gift.' Isn't that what they say? Akuma wasn't sure whether or not that was true for him, but he was entirely sure that it was for Suguru.

Suguru was his angel. He was beautiful and smart and more talented than Akuma had ever been. Suguru was the one that would have had an excuse for acting the way that Akuma did more than Akuma even, but he didn't. He was genuinely good to people that he cared for, and even if he didn't like someone he took the time to notice their good points as well as their bad.

It had been a mistake to even talk to him that first time, but Akuma hadn't been able to help himself. He was so frail, with that black hair and those wide eyes. He looked far younger than his actual age. He had quite the mouth on him, too. He was amazing. Akuma hadn't been able to understand why Suguru would want to look on him.

They had been too young, but that certainly shouldn't have been an excuse. Akuma definitely shouldn't have had sex with him, no matter how much he loved him. They would have both been better off if he had tried to ignore it. Suguru probably regretted every damn thing they had done together.

Akuma took a long drag from the cigarette braced delicately between his fingers and slammed his head back to wall to try to clear it of all of these thoughts. He had sent the tape back with the Valhalla man and there was nothing left to do but to wait for Suguru's answer-- one way or another.

Akuma ruffled his smoke-wreathed blue hair and opened a window to let some of the smoke out. It was starting to stink, even to one as used to it at him. Was it really so much to want a person to be happy, even if it was at your own expense? All Akuma ever did was hurt the ones that he loved, and Suguru was at the top of that list.

"I saw you yesterday on the TV, kid," Akuma told the empty air softly, the green eyes of his gaijin mother heavy-lidded. "You looked good. They only caught the side of your face, of course, but what I could see looked good." He frowned and took another drag. "You weren't smiling though, kid. Do you ever smile anymore?" He sighed. "Did you ever smile to begin with?"

He snubbed the cigarette out and toasted the air with the bent stub. "For you, kid. It's for you I stopped the first time. Might as well stop the second for you, too."

He flicked it out the window and walked over to sit at the piano in his living room. It took up most of the space, considering how cramped his rooms were, but it was worth it. He sat there, not touching the keys but with his fingers hovering over them. His head dipped. "Love you."

Had he ever even bothered to say that?

--

Hold on to me love

You know I can't stay long

All I wanted to say is I love you and I'm not afraid

Suguru woke to the sight of Tatsuha hovering over his face. It wasn't entirely an unpleasant view first thing upon waking, and it made him smile. Tatsuha looked worried, though, making Suguru frown before he remembered what had caused him to pass out.

"Have you been eating other than when I personally sit you down and feed you?" Tatsuha asked, eyes narrowing.

Suguru flushed. "I... forgot. I'm sorry, Tatsuha."

"I should hope so," Tohma said coldly from the other side of the bed when Suguru sat up. "You had everyone worried. With the stress you've been under lately combined with irregular eating habits, I'm amazed this didn't happen sooner. I forgot that you never remember to eat around CD release times."

"This is going to happen more?" Tatsuha groaned.

Suguru smiled, brown eyes crinkling at the corners. "I'll try to remember, Tatsuha," he said with a smirk, drawing the monk's lips down on his. Tatsuha umphed with surprise before he relaxed. Suguru played with a strand of Tatsuha's dark hair as he carefully eased up on the pressure.

Tohma had a hand plastered over his eyes. "Tell me when I can look again and not see a jailbait orgy," Suguru's cousin said wryly. Suguru rolled his eyes. At least his cousin approved. If he didn't, he would have been the first to say so.

"I have to talk to him, Tohma," Suguru said, voice steel-laced. "He said as much. I need him."

He didn't notice when Tatsuha's head lowered but Tohma did, and he sighed. "I know you do, Suguru, and unfortunately I can't control your love life. You and Eiri proved that to me by choosing such stubborn lovers. You might want to talk to Tatsuha first, though. I'll be back later." Now that you've bugged every room, anxiously trying to overhear every word we say, Suguru added mentally as the final edge of his cousin's leopard patterned coat turned the corner.

Holding my last breath

Safe inside myself

Are all my thoughts of you?

Sweet raptured light

It ends here-- tonight

"Tatsuha..." The dark-haired monk was sitting a touch farther from the bed then he had been before. Suguru had told him about Akuma, about what would happen, yet... 'I love you...' "Tatsuha, I love you." He choked on the words, but they still managed to get out through the lump in his throat. Tatsuha looked up, startled, and Suguru caught a glimpse of an unusual liquid shimmer in his eyes.

"You mean it?" Tatsuha asked uncomfortably, gaze fastened to Suguru's. Suguru could feel those eyes pierce him once more, trying to creep into every crevice of his soul so the owner could stay there and steadfastly rule his heart.

Suguru nodded. "Yes," he said softly, "but I love him too. He and I have been together forever. We're two halves of the same person." He waved a hand abruptly, frustrated. "It sounds so stupid to say it, but I can't... explain it. I don't know what I should do," he added so quietly he wasn't sure Tatsuha heard him.

Tatsuha sighed and his black eyes looked as soft as velvet. "I know you don't. I don't want you to have to make a decision, Suguru. Whatever you decide, whenever you decide it, it's yours, no matter what. Anything. I love you." He kissed the younger boy gently. Suguru blinked briefly before closing his eyes and pulling Tatsuha down to lay over him.

"At this moment, can I have 'anything', too?" the angel asked huskily, russet brown eyes melting as he kissed Tatsuha again, tongue rolling slowly over the other's lower lip. He pulled back to wait for an answer, not knowing what he looked like lying there under Tatsuha with his hair spread out over the bed and his lips slightly swollen.

Tatsuha kissed his cheek, feeling his heart clench. Was that what love felt like? Like being sucker-punched, unable to do anything except try to usher the other person towards happiness? His lips trailed down to Suguru's neck and the keyboardist offered his throat, completely trusting, and the feeling surged again. It nearly screamed it Tatsuha's veins, begging to be noticed.

"Anything for you."

I miss the winter

A world of fragile things

Look for me in the white forest

Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)

I know you hear me

I can taste it in your tears

Had Akuma's love for Suguru really been a mistake? What was there that Tohma was supposed to do to find the answer that he needed for that question? Love between an angel and a demon wasn't possible. The Pure and the Fallen. Beauty and hate.

Akuma had honestly loved Suguru. That much was true, and Tohma certainly couldn't deny that. Tohma couldn't help but remember the message that had been left on his answering machine before Akuma had even come into the picture. Suguru had the worst luck of anyone that Tohma had ever met. Because of that, it was Tohma's duty to protect him. Yet Suguru always insisted on standing on his own two feet.

Tohma banged his head onto the table and wished for oblivion.

I really didn't want to talk to one of these things. I-I'm Fujisaki Suguru, your cousin. I know we only met a couple times but my Mom said you were the one to talk to. Please... get me out of here. I can't stand-- gods. I don't have any more time. Please, find me. PLEASE!

Tohma wished he had listened to his instincts when they had insisted he take his cousin in, but stupidly he hadn't. He had too much to do. Then when Suguru had been with him he had been having problems with N-G. Then Akuma had been there. Then he had signed Fallen Angel.

"Aren't I supposed to interfere?"

"You're stressing, Tohma!" Ryuichi warned cheerfully, dialling up a take-out sushi place. "Suguru's life is Suguru's life. Just watch him; everybody else will be."

Tohma frowned and hung up for Ryuichi, making the pop star squeal at him and throw Kumogaro. "I need to use to the phone." Snatching the phone, he rifled through his desk until he found the number he was looking for and quickly dialed it. It rang. "Akuma Seti? I want to talk to you."

On the other end of the line, Akuma froze. "Ah... Seguchi-san? I need to change my number again."

Tohma snorted. Akuma most certainly hadn't changed. He still endeavored to piss people off in the worst way possible. He was so very good at it. It only took a word from him to set off a thousand sparks of anger in Tohma's gut.

"Tell me, Akuma. What do you want Suguru to do?"

Akuma twisted the phone cord around his finger thoughtfully. What exactly was Tohma asking him here? He wasn't even sure himself, so he certainly couldn't tell Tohma. "I want him to find some way to tell me what would make him happy," he finally decided after long silence. "I can't do anything but that."

"You're never going to hurt him again," Tohma warned, eyes snapping as they tracked Kumogaro's path from wall to Ryuichi's hands and back.

Green eyes glared into the wall. "No. I will never hurt him again." And that was as much as a truth as anything was. Tohma smiled. "Okay." He hung up.

--

Closing your eyes to disappear

You pray your dreams will leave you here

But still you wake and know the truth

No one's there

Say goodnight

Don't be afraid

Calling me, calling me as you fade to black

Suguru woke wrapped in Tatsuha and it definitely wasn't a bad place to be. It was nice, actually. He was getting used to it from the past couple of days, though he generally wasn't naked then. It was almost too warm. He was breathing in hair, so it was no wonder he had woken up.

He still didn't know what to do.

The pain was burning up his arms and through his soul, but it was nothing compared to being told that Akuma was dead. How could he be? Suguru was the one that had been stupid, that had done something so completely dumb that he had tried to kill himself.

Suguru clutched his arms around himself despite the pain it caused and bent his head. A long ponytail slipped down one shoulder as a half-choked sob escaped his throat. Why did he always have to be so stupid? If he had just taken a second maybe Akuma wouldn't have done that. Maybe Akuma wouldn't have been as stupid as him.

In a few months, Bad Luck would be spreading across the tabloids sensationally and very soon the long strands of Tenshi's hair would be falling to the ground, along with a great portion of Suguru's sanity. Akuma was gone and there was absolutely nothing that could be done about it.

Suguru had the ability to focus completely on one thing to the exclusion of others. That had been the reason that he had wanted Bad Luck to succeed so badly. That was why he had wanted Shindou Shuichi to succeed so badly. It helped that Yuki was a lot like Akuma. Tatsuha was nothing like his brother.

"You're awake, aren't you?" Tatsuha asked huskily, arms tightening around Suguru. Suguru smiled wryly. "Kind of. Do you think that it's a fault to want to stand on your own two feet?"

Tatsuha frowned into Suguru's hair. "Of course not. It just depends on whether you let someone give you a hand up once and a while, or at least be a stepping stool for you."

The keyboardist laughed. "You know, you'll be lucky if my cousin doesn't sue you for sex with a minor."

Tatsuha shrugged. "Life."

Say goodnight (holding my last breath)

Don't be afraid

Safe inside myself (calling me calling me)

Are all my thoughts of you?

Sweet raptured light

It ends here tonight

--

I honestly have no clue what to do here. What do y'all want me to do with this twisted little tangle I've got myself caught in? We have two choices: no Akuma or the sharing of an angel. Please tell me what you want. I'm leaning towards the second, but the thing I like most is to make everyone in the fics happy. Choose.